Tuesday, February 01, 2011

%#% it

#%@% it, I am just gonna post before I go to work. I'll turn on the TV and let the news people tell me what all is closed. I might say I thought I saw my company's name there. Then call the phone answering women* and say "hey women*, i thoughts we were cancelled? are all the other woman* there?"

Or I'll just drive fast and scare all the other motorists. Actually, it iced, it didn't snow, so the roads will be trecherous.

Sending flowers on Valentine's day is too expensive. I am thinking of buying some now and hand delivering them on the 14th. I think that'll save me about $60. Maybe more.

I just got out of the shower, but I don't feel clean enough. Fucking Dial Soap.

Some guy with lots of hair won the AP defensive player of the year. Skunkpatch voted for Peppers. He got 4th.

Carmelo still hasn't been traded. Hopefully he didn't use Blue's bank.

TV is a cooking show. I guess news is over.

By the way that Jets strength coach resigned. Good. He should have been fired on the spot. You don't purposely trip a player during a game. That is just bush league. If he runs out of bounds and you don't see him and he trips over you that is ok. But if you see the dude and you purposely trip him you should be banned for life.

Chipolte is the place to pick up chicks

Single guys everywhere should be told this. Chipolte is a great place to pick up single chicks. They love it. Even the good looking skinny ones go to Chipolte. I went on saturday and the girl to guy count (not counting employees) was 23 to 4. I am not making that up. I went last week at work for lunch and the count was 67 to 35 in favor of girls. Girls are all about the Chipolte. And you can sit at the table nearest the ordering place and figure out which ones are high maintenance. If the girl asks for a little more of whatever she is possibly high maintenance, it is hard to say because sometimes you ask for cheese and they put like 3 strands of the cheese on, so this one isn't a dead giveaway. But, if a girl asks them to take off something because they put too much on she is definitely high maintenance. Stay away from the girl who says "that's too much of the tomatoes, please take some off."

Also Chipolte is great because you get to look at all sides of a girl. They are all set up the same. People walk in down one side of the place. They order across the back of the place and then they have to walk down the other side of the place to get to their seat. If you sit yourself in the proper place you get the full 360 view. Even the worst place in the house gets at least a 270 view.

Also generally at Chipolte neither you or the girl is drunk. This can be good or bad. If you need to be drunk to pick up chicks then you can get drunk and go. The girl might find it cute. I doubt, but stranger things have happened. If you need a girl to be drunk in order for you to pick her up then Chiplote is probably not the place for you. The place for you is mail order brides. Or Kansas.

259 comments:

1 – 200 of 259   Newer›   Newest»
Jugdish said...

Sal Alosi

tem said...

exactly

Beth said...

Loved the Chipotle analysis. (ns)

I go there a decent amount but have never paid attention to the guy-girl ratio, but will definitely do so from now on.

Beth said...

And I've never once told them at Chipotle that they have too much of anything on there.

tem said...

if you did then you would definitely be high maintenance.

tem said...

early wall

Blue said...

drunk at chipotle


the one by my office has happy hour

and they sell patron margaritas all day long.

it's awesome

Blue said...

they have regular margs too and a bunch of mexican beers

tem said...

ours has those things, except no happy hour. and i have never seen anyone drink a beer or margarita there. even though they have a cooler full of the stuff.

tem said...

i only go for lunch though. nerve* gone for dinner.

Blue said...

happy hour is 2 for 1 margs and free chips and salsa

Blue said...

they just added the patron margs the other day.

I won't lie, i've had one for lunch

tem said...

i've had a beer for lunch, just never at chipolte.

tem said...

i work in the brewery district. there used to be breweries here, but only one left.

anyway, lots of bars to go to for lunch that have beer for a dollar. i'll go there and drink instead of chipolte.

if chipolte here had a happy hour i might change my tune.

Blue said...

I wish I worked in the brewery district.

I work in the historic distric area.

not many bars

Blue said...

but lots of brothels

tem said...

i think i'd prefer lots of bars

Beth said...

Would make no difference to me, I can work (and have worked) in both.

s

Blue said...

actually no brothels,

but there is a greek men's bathhouse near here (ns)

and a ton of medical marijuana dispensaries...just like the good old days

El Padrino said...

also you can see if they like burritos

/lp

Blue said...

did we discuss that kim k wants to be a bond girl?

not bondage lp, bond

Blue said...

barry bonds read that story and said "suite, have her call me"

El Padrino said...

unspeakable things to kimberly

tem said...

"did we discuss that kim k wants to be a bond girl"

she has the same chance of being one as LP does fucking her.

El Padrino said...

so your saying theres a chance!

El Padrino said...

i have decided against the big pool entry

El Padrino said...

pitchers anc catchers

El Padrino said...

gollum eats the apple til he gets to the lil pocket of seeds in the middle of the core then throws the seeds out and eats the middle part of core

El Padrino said...

"In Cairo: 'We talk today as Egyptians'"


Walk like an Egyptian.

El Padrino said...

hilarity at the weather in dallas

Blue said...

Dallas sucks

El Padrino said...

ft worth sucks

El Padrino said...

and dallas

Blue said...

i think it's funny that SMU and TCU don't have indoor practice facilities, but there are like 10 highschool in the D/FW area that all have full football sized indoor practice facilities.

Blue said...

you'd think with all that BCS money TCU would have built a bubble by now

El Padrino said...

Today Tonight Tomorrow

Wintry Mix
Freezing Rain
Ice to Rain

suite

Blue said...

yep, but it will be a sunny and 72 inside Jerry's house on sunday

El Padrino said...

that's my local forecast

super bowl 2014 baby!

El Padrino said...

Free pizza day for unemployed in Orlando...

El Padrino said...

internet is running out of web addresses

thats crazy

Jugdish said...

suite!

/mize

Jugdish said...

wall

El Padrino said...

hate IT, especially when they have to come over to my desk

Jugdish said...

reboot

Keef said...

"i have decided against the big pool entry"


smat*

Keef said...

"super bowl 2014 baby!"

Mess hosting the all star game in 2013

El Padrino said...

"i have decided against the big pool entry"


smat*

they dont take amex

El Padrino said...

"Mess hosting the all star game in 2013"


i know, hopefully the mets will still be around by then

Jugdish said...

i know, hopefully the mets will still be around by then


first the stache, then the mess

Keef said...

"they dont take amex"


Visa. It's everywhere you want to be

El Padrino said...

peta ads that were banned

first one is good

Keef said...

or maybe it's "want it to be"

Keef said...

"i know, hopefully the mets will still be around by then"


They'll be around 3rd place

Spaceman Spiff said...

beff and friend GIF

Keef said...

wall

Keef said...

cmk gots to get induced

Jugdish said...

when is that happening?

Spaceman Spiff said...

blake dunk last night

Keef said...

"when is that happening?"


They're scheduling an appt with the hospital. She'll know by this afternoon.

Jugdish said...

They're scheduling an appt with the hospital. She'll know by this afternoon.


the sooner the better huh? Hope all goes well!

Keef said...

When we found out her do* date, I told her that it would be born during the Super Bowl and the Bears would be in it. She just found out that her appt is at noon on Sunday.

1 out of 2 ain't bad

Keef said...

"the sooner the better huh? Hope all goes well!"


thanks

Blue said...

so...superbowl party at keef's?

Blue said...

just for that, if it's boy you should name it Clay and if it's a girl name it Troy

Blue said...

or you could do "erin" and "ben"

Jugdish said...

She just found out that her appt is at noon on Sunday.



damn female doctors

Jugdish said...

just for that, if it's boy you should name it Clay and if it's a girl name it Troy



don't let her name it after any Packers...


except Todd

s

Keef said...

Ben is a stupid name

tem said...

he is naming the kid el padrino

tem said...

or vance

Keef said...

"damn female doctors"


Yeah, she's from India, too. It's rev's mil I think

El Padrino said...

fuck this im going to the bar

Jugdish said...

he is naming the kid el padrino



lil tone

Keef said...

O/U on Christina Aguilera's national anthem...1:56

over

El Padrino said...

under

Jugdish said...

push


/cmk's doc

Blue said...

yeah, so she gets induced at noon, means won't have the kid probably til late that night or next day

tem said...

sucks to miss the superbowl.

tem said...

chipolte count at lunch today.

5 girls, 4 guys.

i got my food to go and the weather seemed to have kept everyone away.

Keef said...

"yeah, so she gets induced at noon, means won't have the kid probably til late that night or next day"



Suite, so I can just stay at home


s

Jugdish said...

just make sure there is a tv in there...


/blue

tem said...

you should have sex with her tonight. isn't that supposed to get the kid out of there?

tem said...

this wouldn't have happened if you had taken your time.

/jug

tem said...

someone giving birth during the super bowl was a simpsons episode.

/H

Blue said...

cmk giving birth during the superbowl


O:FB

Keef said...

not sure how that's O:FB but whatever


/h

El Padrino said...

peeps are here

El Padrino said...

keef, i hope everything goes well

inducement for cmep did not go well
i pray

Mize said...

I'm out for a second day with a neck. They won't let me come back to work without seeing a doctor.

That makes no fucking sense.

Keef said...

thanks

Mize said...

Well, yes it does if you're the employer. Keeps the company in a position of power.

Keef said...

"They won't let me come back to work without seeing a doctor.

That makes no fucking sense."



Should of* kept that twitter idea to yourself

El Padrino said...

i ♥ easter candy

Keef said...

i don't like peeps

El Padrino said...

That makes no fucking sense.

actually it does

El Padrino said...

i don't like peeps

i know, its because of your commie beliefs

Beth said...

Well, yes it does if you're the employer. Keeps the company from getting sued.

*fixed

Keef said...

"i know, its because of your commie beliefs"

I drive legally according the the laws of the United States of America

Keef said...

*to the

Mize said...

So they're basically saying that they'd rather lose an uninsured employee whether said employee is fit for work or not.

Mize said...

This is why I don't like it in America.

El Padrino said...

love it or leave it

Jugdish said...

This is why I don't like it in America.


R M, R?

Mize said...

WTF

Mize said...

"love it or leave it"


exactly

Keef said...

"So they're basically saying that they'd rather lose an uninsured employee whether said employee is fit for work or not."

Maybe they realize that if the person quits because they can't work, that maybe that employee isn't really fit for their company to begin with

El Padrino said...

cant you get cobra or something
get your shit together your 30 years old

Beth said...

Cobra only applies if you've had health insurance through your employer already.

Mize said...

Medical insurance is unaffordable.

Keef said...

"Medical insurance is unaffordable."

Come on, bro. You have a car payment and insurance. What other bills do you have?

Jugdish said...

what did you do to your neck?

El Padrino said...

staring down a hols in the ice for 8 hours

Mize said...

"what did you do to your neck?"


Don't know. Slept on a couch this weekend. Went to get out of bed yesterday AM, felt a pop, and couldn't move my head.

Keef said...

"what did you do to your neck?"


He got all riled up when he dapped Greinke

El Padrino said...

"Don't know. Slept on a couch this weekend. Went to get out of bed yesterday AM, felt a pop, and couldn't move my head."

until these things happen to me i never beleive them

same thing when people say "i three my back out"

Mize said...

There may or may not be some pain/numbness in my right arm also.


Also got a nasty burn from a heat pad thing.

Mize said...

Welp.

El Padrino said...

::vanna walking over to me with a "w"::

Jugdish said...

Don't know. Slept on a couch this weekend.


i feel your pain

/tp

Mize said...

"until these things happen to me i never beleive them"


It must be nice to be 5'9"

El Padrino said...

How Many Times will FOX show Jerry Jones on TV during the Game?

O/U 2.5


over for a gazillion

Keef said...

"It must be nice to be 5'9""



and a half

El Padrino said...

It must be nice to be 5'9"

a stiff neck can happen to a dwarf, your just a wussbag

El Padrino said...

speaking of dwarfs and i relaize this is fodder but does anyone watch that show with the midgets and pit bulls?

pit boss

not a bad show and hilarity when the midgets have to run

El Padrino said...

been up til about 1am everynight, expanded my tv watching as a byproduct of that

Keef said...

wussbag, ha

El Padrino said...

suite, the town is on the way

Mize said...

"speaking of dwarfs and i relaize this is fodder but does anyone watch that show with the midgets and pit bulls?"


I can't take that dude seriously. A hard-ass that's like 3 foot? I will punt you, sir.

Mize said...

AJA aside, I'm going to see my old man's doctor. He's a pill pusher. I hope I get good drugs.

Mize said...

This blister on the nape of my neck is sexy.

Jugdish said...

AJA aside, I'm going to see my old man's doctor. He's a pill pusher. I hope I get suppositories.



fixed

El Padrino said...

I can't take that dude seriously. A hard-ass that's like 3 foot? I will punt you, sir.


agree

Keef said...

mizepochondriac

Keef said...

TLC has some show starting next week about people who make balloon animals and shit. Awful

Keef said...

*but I'll probably watch it

Mize said...

"mizepochondriac"


Anything but.

El Padrino said...

rosie

El Padrino said...

brooklyn guy on jeopardy last night was great

Jugdish said...

wall

Keef said...

wall

El Padrino said...

guys kids son fences, is in acting school and majors in photography in high school or something like that

this kid gay?

Keef said...

"guys kids son"

so guys grandson?


s

Keef said...

wall

Keef said...

Silva & Franklin gonna win this weekend

El Padrino said...

did i mention im rocking the Rrichard Kimball look?

bushy beard, big time hair

Blue said...

purgatory

tem said...

" majors in photography in high school "

i was unaware high school had majors

El Padrino said...

long island is a weird place

tem said...

"Silva & Franklin gonna win this weekend"

that reminds me. i gotta do UFC picks so everyone knows who to gamble on.

Keef said...

"i was unaware high school had majors"


It was HDH. He was talking about you.

Keef said...

"that reminds me. i gotta do UFC picks so everyone knows who to gamble on."



Yeah, that was me reminding you

ns

tem said...

damn, stacked card

Spaceman Spiff said...

"atdhe was seized by homeland security... no more free sports streams!"

"Channelsurfing has been taken over by Homeland Security, too. "

fuck

thanks obama!

Keef said...

yeah they're promoting the shit out of it

Keef said...

"atdhe was seized by homeland security... no more free sports streams!"



Goddamn it. I was going to use that to watch the Super BowlTM

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Apparently atdhe.net was taken b/c of its illegal soccer livestreams."

WFT, take soccer and give everything else back

Spaceman Spiff said...

wonder if myp2p still works

tem said...

Anderson Silva vs. Vitor Belfort

Silva almost lost his last fight. Usually after a poor performance Silva shows up big time. But I think the whole Sonnen was on roids thing will make Anderson only half show up.

Belfort supposedly looks real good. Of course I've heard that for years.

I think half of Silva beats Belfort. I expect a boring decision victory then a megafight with St. Pierre assuming St. Pierre beats Shields in a couple months.


Forrest Griffin vs. Rich Franklin

Forrest is a cool dude. I think Rich is a cool dude. This should be a fight where one cool dude gets KOed in about 4 minutes. I don't think either of these fighters can take a punch very well anymore.


Ryan Bader vs. Jon Jones

The winner of this fight probably gets a title shot later this year. UFC people are mega hyped on both these guys. I expect a feeling out first round. This is the biggest fight of both these guy's careers, they will be careful. Round 2 should be awesome and if we get to a round 3 it should be awesome.

I am afraid Bader might try to just tackle Jones and ride him for 3 rounds. That'd be boring, but I don't think he can do it.

Anyway, I could go either way here, but I think Jones is too fast for Bader and wins via TKO late in the 2nd.

Jake Ellenberger vs. Carlos Eduardo Rocha

I don't know these guys. Euardo sounds funnier. He wins.


Miguel Torres vs. Antonio Banuelos

Torres is like 115 years old and weighs like 110 pounds. A crazy ratio. Banelos sounds mexican. So does Torres. Torres should win via decision.

Chad Mendes vs. Michihiro Omigawa

Asian dudes keep coming into the UFC and I don't know much about them. I know a little about Mendes. I don't think he is that great. Asian dude wins.

Norifumi Yamamoto vs. Demetrious Johnson

Asian guy versus black guy. At least I assume black guy. I assume Demetrious will have the height advantage. Black guy wins.

Donald Cerrone vs. Paul Kelly

Two guys in the lightweight division just punching each other. One will connect enough to KO the other one. I'll take the cowboy to win.

Mike Pierce vs. Kenny Robertson

I dunno. Umm Pierce.

Paul Taylor vs. Gabe Ruediger

I think Gabe is the son of the Rudy guy from Notre Dame. My wedding is there so he will win.

Kyle Kingsbury vs. Ricardo Romero

Kinsbury sounds like that QB for Tezas Tech. Ricardo Romero sounds like a character from a telumundo sitcom. I guess a QB can beat up a sitcom guy.

tem said...

"Tezas"

i wrote it mexican like

tem said...

you ever think freak gets mad because you tube doesn't have anything to do with socks?

tem said...

wall

Jugdish said...

cmkod?

Jugdish said...

Rose

El Padrino said...

dont ever link reilly again

Keef said...

I hate agreeiong with LP, but he's right

Spaceman Spiff said...

atdhe.me is the new site

suite

Keef said...

aggreiong, suite

Jugdish said...

actually didn't play attention to that...just saw it was about rose. article was forwarded to me

Jugdish said...

i don't like reilly either

Spaceman Spiff said...

"hree robbers armed with a baseball bat tried to force their way into the wrong house Saturday night in north Pensacola. The 72-year-old homeowner wasn’t going down without a fight, shooting two of them and sending them running for their lives.

“I opened the door, went over here and right off the bat, he hit me with a bat,” Crawford said.

The top of his skull was split open by the blow, but Crawford didn’t go down. He drew the handgun he was holding down on the hooded and masked invaders.

“I don’t answer the door at night without a weapon, so I shot him. Shot the kid next to him,” Crawford said. “The other one was running.”"

get off my lawn

El Padrino said...

awesome

Keef said...

Old people in FL are brutal

Keef said...

Damn right we are

/TP

Keef said...

my neck just cracked. I should call my dad's doctor

Jugdish said...

my neck just cracked. I should call my dad's doctor


i hate america!

/mize

Blue said...

mow them fuckers down

Keef said...

fucking mize

Blue said...

played poker at a guys house on saturday who used to be a pharmacist in Detroit.

His store was on 6mile, so super ghetto.

he said when he started there, they gave him his lab coat, name tag and a bulletproof vest and told him he should probably wear that everyday

Blue said...

he said in the 9 months he worked there they pulled 3 dead bodies out of the dumpster behind the store.

The manager of the store got jumped and shot whilst opening the store one morning....

detroit is awesome

Blue said...

blue missed out cashing out both rounds on saturday, finished 3rd both times and getting a bad beat the second time when I was all in and would have pushed me well into 1st place.

Blue said...

fucking guy who won the first round didn't even really know how to play.

would fold when the shit was checked to him. sometimes bet without looking at his cards.

randomly bet weird amounts

maybe that was his schtick though

El Padrino said...

bad beats are the worse

Mize said...

Gonna be doped up on a muscle relaxer and vicodin.

Mize said...

"sometimes bet without looking at his cards.

randomly bet weird amounts"


I used to enjoy pissing people off by playing hands in the dark on occasion.

Jugdish said...

Gonna be doped up on a muscle relaxer and vicodin.



wussbag

/lp

Jugdish said...

Gonna be doped up on a muscle relaxer and vicodin.


did you get that doctor's note for bosslady?

Jugdish said...

wall

Keef said...

"bad beats are the worse"


stories about bad beats are worst*

Mize said...

"did you get that doctor's note for bosslady?"


Yeah. She wants me to stay home tomorrow, with the snow and whatnot. If I feel fine, I'm going in. I need the money.

Blue said...

did i tell a bad beats story?

Blue said...

maybe i'm leaving you in suspends* for tomorrow

El Padrino said...

lov summitt

Keef said...

"did i tell a bad beats story?"


No. Just saying, in general

Mize said...

Bad beat stories at the summit. Somebody remind LP we're talking about poker.

Keef said...

LP we're talking about poker

Jugdish said...

I like bush

twss

Jugdish said...

damn...i just realized i have 5 minutes left to work. I lost track of time big time

Keef said...

woe

Keef said...

block

Keef said...

bold

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