Friday, January 28, 2011

would you eat fish sperm?

We need credentials so we can send me to Dallas to piss on that new stadium and ask the players dumb questions during Media Day. I'd ask Mike Tomlin why his eyes are so big. And I'd ask Hines Ward why is his name Hines? I'd ask Aaron Rodgers what his favorite finishing move was in wrestling. And I'd ask Ryan Grant if he was pissed he wasn't in the photo. Also I'd ask Mike McCarthy why does he wear a pen in the back of his hat. I'd thank James Harrison for hitting Mohammed Mossaquoi because he's a muslim. And he deserves pain.

I'm writing this from my blackberry because I'm running late because I had to feed AJ because my daughter was up some of the night because she is a brat because all toddlers are brats because its science because cake is food because that's also science.

I'm tired.

350 comments:

1 – 200 of 350   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

I thought this list was kind of interesting:

The Top Defensive Player in the History of Every NFL Franchise

Jugdish said...

TPS gonna be bad on a Friday...dammit

Beth said...

But then who is going to post "wall" when one is needed??????????

Jugdish said...

I'll be on the lookout for walls.

El Padrino said...

fuck your walls

Blue said...

toddlers think they run the world

Jugdish said...

toddlers think they run the world


they run your world

El Padrino said...

blue you claim on w-2 married with 4 exemptions?

El Padrino said...

toddlers think they run the world

parent : pick up all that play doh now

toddler : i dont want to you do it

parent : excuse me?

toddler : you do it!!!!!!!(screaming)

parent : I wish i can smack you right now

El Padrino said...

meant 2

Beth said...

Upon learning of Hasselbeck's tweet, Cromartie hit back on Twitter:

"hey Matt if u have something to then say it be a man about it. Don’t erase it. I will smash ur face in.”

Blue said...

thanks bethfast

Blue said...

"blue you claim on w-2 married with 4 exemptions?"

no because of student loans and tuition and mortgage interest, I claim like 11 exemptions and still get money back.

I went to the IRS website, they have a calculator where you can put in what you claimed last year and it will tell you how to fill out your w-4 if you want to basically break even on taxes.

Beth said...

"thanks bethfast"

Damn. I saw the post about Hasselbeck's tweet but didn't think anything about Cromartie's response had been posted.

El Padrino said...

"I went to the IRS website, they have a calculator where you can put in what you claimed last year and it will tell you how to fill out your w-4 if you want to basically break even on taxes."


married, 2 = $175

even

Jugdish said...

Upon learning of Hasselbeck's tweet, Cromartie hit back on Twitter:


what i found funny when reading about that exchange was that they didn't say the original one came from Haselbeck...but Hasselbeck's account.

Spaceman Spiff said...

EP, no pro bowl pick and analysis?

S

El Padrino said...

whats probowl

Spaceman Spiff said...

found steve

Blue said...

champ got a courtesy invite to set the record for NFL CB's

of course he deserved it more than mccourty or asomoghuaghaga anyway

tem said...

set what record?

Spaceman Spiff said...

tracy morgan with the TNT guys yesterday

so nice he said it twice

Spaceman Spiff said...

ernie johnson played the part of mike myers on that clip

Blue said...

"set what record"

most pro-bowl's in NFL history for a CB

tem said...

is he tied for it now or did he break the tie?

Spaceman Spiff said...

"The Green Bay Packers and Pittsburgh Steelers are two of the six NFL teams that do not employ cheerleaders, and the NFL said Thursday that they have no plans to bring in ringers."

should have brought in the oregon crew

Blue said...

10 is the new record, he set it.

some other guy, i think from the raiders had 9, that champ tied last year.

Blue said...

mike haynes had the previous record of 9 with champ

Blue said...

they asked him yesterday since he and asomugahaghah are both unrestricted free agents, if he'd do a deal like lebron and team up with asomughagha and offer a team them as a package.

he thought that was interesting but said "lebron took a paycut to do that, i'm not taking a paycut for namdi"

tem said...

blue hearts champs.

makes me think champ is white.

tem said...

"no because of student loans and tuition and mortgage interest, I claim like 11 exemptions and still get money back."

you must have a ton of mortgage interest. you make too much to take student loan interest deductions.

Jugdish said...

makes me think champ is white.



chump?

/steve

El Padrino said...

found steve

spiffast

El Padrino said...

im sick of irs holding my money, was doing single, 0 to get big refund but how do i know they are giving me the dough back

El Padrino said...

so i switched to married, 2

like any of you care

El Padrino said...

does anyone do wageworks?

doubt it since most drive in

Blue said...

"im sick of irs holding my money, was doing single, 0 to get big refund but how do i know they are giving me the dough back"


exactly...this is plan one for the republicans...eliminate tax refunds, that'll cut 1 trillion off the debt.

El Padrino said...

"major snow event"

expected feb 2nd


the fuck

El Padrino said...

1 trillion is alot considering the defecit is 1.5 trillion

Blue said...

"you must have a ton of mortgage interest. you make too much to take student loan interest deductions."

i'd have to look through my itemized stuff, you're probably right, i've been in school so I didn't have sl interest the last few years anyway

Blue said...

""major snow event""


only on NBC

tem said...

NBCUniversal


*fixed

tem said...

I would not eat fish sperm

Spaceman Spiff said...

eltardo nba up

El Padrino said...

love when woman say they have nothing to where yet her drawers are overflowing with clothes you can barely close it

El Padrino said...

fucking hilarity

Spaceman Spiff said...

"nothing to where"

nice

Keef said...

"love when woman say they have nothing to where"


tell that women they're are tons of clothes to where

El Padrino said...

im awesome

Blue said...

lp is legend

El Padrino said...

i want some flava flav fried chicken

Keef said...

wall

El Padrino said...

wall

Keef said...

"eltardo nba up"


Brutal. I got to the first chart of stats and gave up

El Padrino said...

yup he's obsessed

El Padrino said...

chocha

Beth said...

"love when woman say they have nothing to where yet her drawers are overflowing with clothes you can barely close it"

Sigh, men just don't understand.

Keef said...

I thought it was parents who just don't understand

tem said...

men are parents.

sometimes.

El Padrino said...

brian wilson is gone

tem said...

barenaked ladies were lying in bed with him

tem said...

or were at least lying in bed like he did.

Jugdish said...

Dallas can't handle the Super Bowl

Keef said...

I like how they say that there was a "bomb scare" near the stadium today. There was a suspicious package that ended up being just trash. How is that a bomb scare?

Jugdish said...

they were scared it might be a bomb

Jugdish said...

bomb threat is when its really a bomb

Jugdish said...

come on keef


s

El Padrino said...

reddi-whip

El Padrino said...

How is that a bomb scare?

r k, r?

Jugdish said...

reddi-whip


cool wHip

Jugdish said...

How is that a bomb scare?

r k, r?



i wouldn't be scared, i'd just walk away

/keef

El Padrino said...

cool wHip


gross, it's oil

Jugdish said...

cool wHip


gross, it's oil


family guy reference

Keef said...

so any random item is a bomb scare, got it.

El Padrino said...

they didnt know it was trash at the time

Keef said...

There was a random newspaper in my yard this morning. But no worries, it wasn't a bomb

Keef said...

has me scared for a minute, though

Jugdish said...

so any random item is a bomb scare, got it.


if someone thinks its a bomb, then yes

Jugdish said...

There was a random newspaper in my yard this morning. But no worries, it wasn't a bomb



so you don't get it, got it

/lov

s

Keef said...

"if someone thinks its a bomb, then yes"

my point is that it shouldn't be a national story

El Padrino said...

it's the super bowl

anyone farts its a story

Jugdish said...

my point is that it shouldn't be a national story



well you should have said that

Jugdish said...

anyone farts its a story


^^^^^

Keef said...

"well you should have said that"


I did

Keef said...

"anyone farts its a story"


I haven't read that story yet

Jugdish said...

I haven't read that story yet


I'll fill you in


/mize

El Padrino said...

have you read the story about your face being awful?

Keef said...

I'm gonna send a box full of trash to your house

Blue said...

i'm going to build a bomb that looks like a toy airplane

Jugdish said...

wall

Keef said...

48/60

Keef said...

26/30

Jugdish said...

anyone going to be on AD tonight?

Keef said...

5/6

tem said...

"so any random item is a bomb scare, got it."

yeah if you think it is a bomb and are scared

tem said...

"anyone going to be on AD tonight?"

are you in the doghouse with cgjsbfbn?

Jugdish said...

are you in the doghouse with cgjsbfbn?



no...she is hanging out with one of her friends tonight

tem said...

so, no threeway, go it.

tem said...

*got it

tem said...

you should go to the Busted Moose or whatever the fuck that bar was called.

tem said...

fmtem is in vancouver for a conference. i should have flown down to texas to see some busted moose.

Keef said...

22/24

Keef said...

"fmtem is in vancouver for a conference. i should have flown down to texas to see some busted moose."


Vancouver is awsome*. Best city I've been to that's not named Las Vegas

Keef said...

I'm doing hsil & csil's taxes right now. Woe

Keef said...

actually not too woe. Only takes like 10 minutes apiece and they're each giving me $20

El Padrino said...

too bad it's canada

Keef said...

NY is basically Canada

Blue said...

i thought you meant vancouver washington, just across the river from portland

Blue said...

vancouver wall

Spaceman Spiff said...

"actually not too woe. Only takes like 10 minutes apiece and they're each giving me $20"

averages out to 10 a piece when hsil doesnt pay you

s

Spaceman Spiff said...

went to vancouver when i was a kid, dont remember shit

Keef said...

averages out to 10 a piece when hsil doesnt pay you

ns



fixed

Blue said...

fucking turbo tax

El Padrino said...

piecec

Spaceman Spiff said...

multi meiz

Keef said...

"fucking turbo tax"

using hrblock for sils

Spaceman Spiff said...

double nba flop phaggotry

Jugdish said...

fmtem is in vancouver for a conference. i should have flown down to texas to see some busted moose.



Twin Peaks...and yes you should have...suite place

tem said...

"they're each giving me $20"

they say that now.

one was sposedta* pay rent too

Jugdish said...

"they're each giving me $20"


can't find my checkbook...hope ya don't mind i pay ya in change

Keef said...

"they say that now.

one was sposedta* pay rent too"


yeah spiff made that joke

Jugdish said...

yeah spiff made that joke


put your account down when you efile...take the rent and give her the rest


done and done

Keef said...

thought about that but she's not getting that much

Jugdish said...

thought about that but she's not getting that much


how did she get her W2???

/mize

Keef said...

it's called a W-4

/lp

tem said...

accounting manager here effed up the tax program so tem can't do his taxes right now.

gotta wait until monday.

Keef said...

Your* not the accounting manager?

s

tem said...

no, i am the cfo jr

Keef said...

wall

Jugdish said...

CFO lite

Mize said...

"i can hook ya up...ill burn em this weekend if you want it"


Absolutely. Thanks and regards.

Keef said...

it's mize

Mize said...

"cool wHip"

Cool hWhip

Mize said...

"anyone going to be on AD tonight?"

Yep

Keef said...

I'll be here for another hour, then it's pizza time

Keef said...

Winter x games. Suite

Mize said...

Get cmk her own pie

Keef said...

Why?

Keef said...

This snowboard long jump thing is kind of lame

Keef said...

Didn't know about NHL all star selection process this year

Mize said...

yeah, it's a draft right?

Keef said...

Yeah. Cool idear

Mize said...

Can they draft any old body?

Keef said...

suite dunk

1:44 mark

Keef said...

"Can they draft any old body?"

I would imagine there are some rules. Would be hilarity if they just picked their own team

Jugdish said...

im actually home on a friday night and there is nothing on tv...might be a red box night

Jugdish said...

rev thinks he is the philly sportsguy...facebooking from the game

Mize said...

I absolutely have to go out tomorrow. This is awful.

Keef said...

76ers vs grizzlies must be an awful game to be at

Jugdish said...

all you can eat cheesesteak night


s

The Rev said...

How did you know what I had to eat?

Jugdish said...

How did you know what I had to eat?

played the odds

The Rev said...

The only redeeming quality of this game is that the Sixers are kicking ass.

There was a really weird play in the 2nd quarter. It should make Sportscenter.

Jugdish said...

good john lynch interview on rome today...

Jugdish said...

you should rush the court

Mize said...

I need to figure out how to use the USB port on a cable box.

The Rev said...

I got a clear lane to the court from my seat. It could happen

Jugdish said...

red box time...

Jugdish said...

also gotta finish up my taxes tonight

The Rev said...

The Sixers are determined to blow this game

JFreak said...

What's the best streak anyone has in the ESPN Streak for Cash?

I just got to 10 in a row.

Mize said...

I've gotten 6 a handful of times, and then I usually forget about it.

Mize said...

Starting a new streak. VC over KG

Mize said...

Simmons' column today was much ado about nothing.

Jugdish said...

picked up a 6 of that Big Flats beer from Walgreens...2.99 a 6 pack. i believe that was mentioned here earlier

Jugdish said...

im the complete opposite of a beer snob...but its not bad for 2.99

Keef said...

How did you know what I had to eat?


You eat everything

Jugdish said...

social network...go

Keef said...

"I got a clear lane to the court from my seat. It could happen"


Are the aisles 17 feet wide?

S

Jugdish said...

Are the aisles 17 feet wide?


no, its a sixers game...no one is there

Keef said...

I also need Vince to score more than KG. I'm at 5 right now.

Jinx

Keef said...

no, its a sixers game...no one is there


Touché

Jugdish said...

i guess the aisles would still be the same size...but that would ruin the joke

Jugdish said...

we're gonna have a "practice" next week for softball...might have to stock the cooler with Big Flats and not tell anyone

Keef said...

This weekend is our last game of the season. Thank jesus

Jugdish said...

we are finshing up the "winter" break...usually have three seasons a year starting in a few weeks

Jugdish said...

our team is less competitve than it used to be, but we have a good time

Jugdish said...

also got The expendables...

Jugdish said...

id like to see a documentary on fb...always wonder how much hollywood makes up in these types of movies

Jugdish said...

wall

Jugdish said...

wall

Jugdish said...

going here tomorrow night

Jugdish said...

going here on sunday

Jugdish said...

hacking tournaments while taking shots?

Jugdish said...

Bulls beat Magic...suite

Jugdish said...

not a lot of bulls games on tv here

Jugdish said...

sorry rev

Jugdish said...

i would not eat fish sperm

Jugdish said...

MikeMarici @sportsguy33 O:FB


IN YOU FACE!

Jugdish said...

wall

Jugdish said...

expendables...go

Jugdish said...

statham's name in the movie is lee christmas...not sure if he is related to lloyd

The Rev said...

Yeah, that was a big suckfest in the end.

But the tickets were free, and they were awesome seats, so I can't bitch much.

Plus I got to see this play.

After the commercial, forward to the 30 second mark

There were a few highlight film plays in the game.

Jugdish said...

But the tickets were free, and they were awesome seats, so I can't bitch much.



that's cool

JFreak said...

Rev logs on to lov? Huh?

Jugdish said...

Elton Brand has fallen off the map

The Rev said...

Brand has actually played better lately. But he can't move anywhere near like he used to.

The Rev said...

i just saw Keef's video of the dude dunking himself through the net.

I'd hate to be the guys dunking after him because there's no good way to follow that. It can't be topped.

JFreak said...

How's the indian food?

JFreak said...

block

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