Monday, January 17, 2011

Runny* diary

We're back again with another running diary of the Golden Globes. All times are MST.
7:12 cmk is mad because I didn't text her that the Bears had won, so she isn't talking to me. So it'll be a quiet house tonight. Yeah, that's ns
7:14 it looks like that unfunny Brit that hosted last year's show is hosting again. This monologue is less funny than last year. Congrats on getting this gig again but being less funny, Benny Hill.
7:16 Jesus, this guy is so unfunny
7:18 ScarJo is the first person giving out an award this evening. She's announcing the nominees and she's already funnier than the Austin Powers guy. And she looks much better. She has nice ivory globes.
7:20 Michael Douglas looks like Fire Marshall Bill. And the first award goes to Batman in The Fighter
7:22 LL Cool J presenting next. He has bolth pant legs rolled down. And the award goes to.......Peggy Bundy. Al Bundy is shown clapping in the background
7:27 next is the award for best tv series or mini series. I've nerve heard of any of them. The Spanish guy won. And Nicole Kidman is really really really really white.
7:31 British office guy introduces Bruce Willis as "Ashton Kutcher's dad". That was marginally funny
7:34 Some gay guy from Glee won the next award. Yeah, yeah, I know. "Gay guy from Glee". Can you be more specific, as.?
7:36 Sorry tem. But Michelle Pfeiffer looks like she does coke for a living
7:39 Eva Longoria introduces the president of the Hollywood foreign press. He has awesome hair. And by "awesome" I mean awesomely bad. It's like a mix between George Costanza and Ronald McDonald.
7:46 This dude from the facebook movie can't read as he's introducing his movie. Apparently "interestingly" is a tough word to read.
7:52 awards for music and best score. Fast forwarding
7:55 Dustin* Beaver* handing out the cartoon award. That's why I hate cartoons. (s). Toy Story 3 wins. They show a shot of JLH. She has great bronze globes. Then they show a shot of the Precious chick. She has fat mocha globes
8:01 Emma Stone looks pretty good with blond hair. Anne Hathaway still has giant teef.
8:05 Sly Stallone enters the room. Rev just excused himself to the bathroom
8:11 Wow, look at Claire Danes. She's all growed up and looking fine. She beat out JLH for some award so we misst out on seeing the globes.
8:16 Steve Carell is a funny motherfucker. I like how he's basically Michael Scott in real life.
8:19 Miiiiiiiiiila Kunis. Yummmmm
8:20 Naaaaaaatttttttt Portman. yummmmmmmmmmm
8:21 Sofia Vergara. Really really yummmmmm. She lost out to that old dyke from Glee for best supporting actress.
8:28 Hanoi Jane is introducing Burlesque. I thought Jane Fonda was dead. Ns
8:29 Kaley Cuoco os presenting some award. "Kaley Cuoco was hotter when she was younger" /mize. But he's right. She doesn't look real good now
8:35 They keep showing some chick in the crowd who has Edward Scissorhands' hair. I don't know who she is, though.
8:42 Man, Bobby DeNiro looks really old. Mfer has had quite a career though. But wow, he looks old as fuck now. Maybe because he is
8:53 Best comedy goes to..... Glee. Fuck off. Just because it's in the "comedy" category doesn't mean it's funny. Seriously, fuck off
8:55 goddamn, Alicia Keys has some broad shoulders
Random side note. Speaking of broad shoulders, I saw some picture online this weekend with Laila Ali and Curtis Conway. Did anyone else know they were married? I had no idear.
8:59 The boy from third rock from the sun is presenting introducing Inception. It's still weird when I see him because he looks strange with short hair.
9:01 Natalie Portman wins something. Looks like she's pregnant. Mize is sad
9:07 So I guess the comedy category is really the "comedy/musical" category. That sort of explains the whole Glee fiasco earlier.
9:11 So the chick with Edward Scissorhands hair is Helena Bonham Carter. Weirdo
9:13 Fire Marshall Bill is presenting the final award tonight. Best drama award goes to...facebook movie. Some people must have time for that shit. Kind of surprised that movie beat out black swan and inception.

Well, that's all. This show was pretty boring, which means the RD was probably boring. Grammys are next month

148 comments:

H said...

Bart Scott: "Belichick's one Mo Lewis hit from losing his job."

This made me legitimately LOL when I heard it.

H said...

January Jones had some nice globes too.

H said...

For the record, as., my Facebook status last night had nothing to do with the game.

H said...

Packer, make with a name and pic

H said...

Tem and I are tied atop the pick 'em league.

H said...

I really need to get laid

H said...

Almost a month. Unacceptable.

H said...

Does everyone but me have the day off today?

Todd Packer said...

"Does everyone but me have the day off today?"


i'm working.... real bad tps day though

Todd Packer said...

i'll get a name/pic for you later, h

Todd Packer said...

"Bart Scott: "Belichick's one Mo Lewis hit from losing his job."


greatest.postgame.interview.evAr

H said...

"greatest.postgame.interview.evAr"

Let's not go crazy here.

H said...

I think TP may take over the mantle of the master of the xnij

Blue said...

H doens't undderstand the powers of O:FB

The Agony of Defeet* said...

I'll use this until TP comes up with something else...

The Agony of Defeet* said...

Fuck you, Blue :-)

The Agony of Defeet* said...

Brady on WEEI right now. Sounds like his dog died.

Blue said...

don't get pissed at me because you live in the douchetastic sports capital of america

The Agony of Defeet* said...

If you say so blue. I'll take the 3 Superbowl titles, 2 World Series championships, and the NBA title over what any of your cities have done over the same time frame. If that makes me a douche, so be it.

Blue said...

yes, that attitude is absolutely what makes you a douche

Blue said...

yep, that's what makes you a douche

Blue said...

the thing is, the red sox were a good story until all the boston fans became douches about it.

the patriots were a good story, until you found out that they cheated

the celtics were never a good story because they are douches

The Agony of Defeet* said...

"yep, that's what makes you a douche"

So much so that you had to say it twice.

The Agony of Defeet* said...

And on a non sports subject, I hate dating. It fucking sucks.

tem said...

"7:46 This dude from the facebook movie can't read as he's introducing his movie. Apparently "interestingly" is a tough word to read."

reading be hard yo, you

tem said...

"They keep showing some chick in the crowd who has Edward Scissorhands' hair. I don't know who she is, though.
"

that helena botham carter chick. or something like that.

tem said...

"Natalie Portman wins something. Looks like she's pregnant."

best actress. yeah she is preggo.

tem said...

golden globes loved them some facebook shit.

The Agony of Defeet* said...

"All we hear about is their defense. they couldn' stop a nosebleed."

Also a funny line from Bart

The Agony of Defeet* said...

The hardest part about this is that I actually like Rex Ryan. He is a funny bastard. I cannot cheer for the Jets though.

The Agony of Defeet* said...

This week I am a Steelers fan. For the Superbowl, I am an NFC fan.

tem said...

i'm still a bucs fan.

The Agony of Defeet* said...

Must be tough

The Agony of Defeet* said...

Today must be like Christmas to Steve... R.I.P.

tem said...

kwanza is his christmas.

The Agony of Defeet* said...

Where are tits and the guinea? I know they have days off, but I figured they would have checked in by now.

tem said...

tits rarely checks in on non work days.

The Agony of Defeet* said...

Especially after the Falcons lost.

tem said...

so it turns out the patriots are the team that tried the tripping a gunner on the punt team thing first and that's where the jets learned it from?

tem said...

hilarity. pats cheat a lot.

El Padrino said...

working

hahahahahhahaa

boston

hahahahahahahahhahahhaa

El Padrino said...

jet fan or not NYC owns Bahstahn

suck nuts aitch

Spaceman Spiff said...

matty piss ice would like to thank the pats

tem said...

nyc is equally as worse* as boston

Spaceman Spiff said...

fake punt was horrendous, not much time left, getting the ball to start the 3rd, belichek went full retard

El Padrino said...

"nyc is equally as worse* as boston"

not true bahstahn on the top then nyc

according to keef

Spaceman Spiff said...

everyone go back and re-read H and freaks pats/colts lovefest

end of the page

El Padrino said...

going here for sloppy oes and mac and cheese

first stopping here for tres leches doughnut

El Padrino said...

everyone go back and re-read H and freaks pats/colts lovefest

end of the page

puke

The Agony of Defeet* said...

"ke punt was horrendous, not much time left, getting the ball to start the 3rd, belichek went full retard"

Worst play call of the game. The drive at the begining of the 4th quarter that took up 7 1/2 minutes and resulted in no points was also terrible.

The Agony of Defeet* said...

"everyone go back and re-read H and freaks pats/colts lovefest"

Funny.

JFreak said...

I just said that last thing to placate H. The Pats suck balls.

The Agony of Defeet* said...

"I just said that last thing to placate H. The Pats suck balls."

Go back to bed, Freak.

The Agony of Defeet* said...

That line is pretty much the LOV equivilent to "Shut up, Meg."

JFreak said...

"i still have to give freak a name/pic"

I didn't think we ever agreed on terms.

But whatevs.

The Agony of Defeet* said...

Cartoons suck!!

/Keef

JFreak said...

Brady vs. Manning

Pats = the suck

JFreak said...

"Go back to bed, Freak."

You wouldn't say that if I didn't have a bed to sleep in, now would you?

That's right.

Keef said...

"For the record, as., my Facebook status last night had nothing to do with the game."


who said it did?

JFreak said...

The gremlins

Keef said...

"that helena botham carter chick. or something like that."


yeah that was confirmed later on

The Agony of Defeet* said...

"I didn't think we ever agreed on terms.

But whatevs."

wHeasel*

The Agony of Defeet* said...

ESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Keef said...

wall

Jugdish said...

tp...finally got your name and pic


ChiefPacker

Spaceman Spiff said...

"C'mon, that is how guys get hurt, that is how serious injuries happen," Bosh said. "You've got to watch people's legs. I know guys want to hustle and everything but we all want to play and provide for our families and have a job."
"If it is by somebody's leg, don't dive for the ball, it's too close."

hilarity

vid of the play
unavoidable

JFreak said...

Bosh the baby.

Spaceman Spiff said...

brady since dumping bridget

06 - massive chokejob against colts, would have won another title
07 - 18-1
08 - knee got fucked
09 - destroyed at home, 1st round exit
10 - got rex'd as #1 seed

suite

Jugdish said...

williams...that cb for the pack that has been making all of those plays lately...i just heard he was cut by the texans in the preseason.

funny

Blue said...

""If it is by somebody's leg, don't dive for the ball, it's too close.""

our Hikeskool coach always told us, if the ball is on the floor get on the floor to get it..if you're standing there reaching down, your knee is gonna get fucked.

Keef said...

"our Hikeskool coach always told us, if the ball is on the floor get on the floor to get it..if you're standing there reaching down, your knee is gonna get fucked."




my hikeskool coach said that too, but he wouldn't let me play even though I was the best in the skool

/mize

I'll Show You How to Pitch said...

my hs coach always chided me for dropping my racket when diving for the loose basketball

tem said...

i've played bball the last two sundays. i am horrendous, but have somehow made the game ending shot twice in two weeks.

Jugdish said...

tem

Spaceman Spiff said...

nice outfit jug

Spaceman Spiff said...

"A Staten Island man who decided to celebrate the New York Jets’ stunning upset of the New England Patriots Sunday by going sledding on his driveway was killed after he skidded onto the road and was struck by an oncoming car, police said.

A police source said it is believed he had been drinking while watching the game."

sorry but thats hilarity

tem said...

i do not wear a tie when i play. maybe i should. i could shoot like that guy then.

Blue said...

"nice outfit jug"

good thing that guy behind him is in camo...wouldn't want to be seen with his buddy

Keef said...

"Mize said...
"Yeah. I think he's so unfunny"

You might have a worse sense of humor than H.

ADR, H."



You might have rev's figure

ADR, rev

Keef said...

5/6

Keef said...

11/11

tem said...

5/6

Keef said...

22/28

tem said...

9-11

Blue said...

6/6

that's right

tem said...

26-28

Keef said...

I couldn't get the 2nd one of the bands.

tem said...

i couldnt either

Keef said...

I guessed Blondie

Keef said...

can't wait for kod to say that and say "RK, R?"

Keef said...

*see that

tem said...

i guessed sugarland, then dixie chicks, then alabama, then big and rich then sawyer brown then brooks and dunn then sugarland again, then montgomery gentry then emerson drive then lady antebellum then pearl jam, then beatles

Keef said...

no rolling stones?

tem said...

damn!

tem said...

i didn't gues rolling stones, stone temple pilot, starship, jefferson startship, heart, eddie and the cruisers, boyz ii men, guns n roses, skid row, bon jovi or nickleback.

Keef said...

what about Steel Panther?

Keef said...

Wyld Stallyns?

tem said...

i did not guess those either.

Keef said...

h giving himself a name/pic is hilarity

Keef said...

Did you know the average american consumes 750 slices or 23 lbs of pizza every year?


Hopefully this was S, LP.

tem said...

yeah, it was a good name though

Blue said...

attention whores do that

tem said...

that's like 2 pieces a day.

they must be small pieces.

you sure they said pizza and not taco?

Keef said...

it's on lp's blog

tem said...

lp has a blog?

Blue said...

according to LP that's like 750 billion slices of pizza

Spaceman Spiff said...

blake dropped 28 on hanbro* in the first half

Todd Packer said...

"tp...finally got your name and pic


"ChiefPacker"


ok

ChiefPacker said...

you suck, jug... this is the worse* pic change ever

ChiefPacker said...

"I'll use this until TP comes up with something else..."


that's fine, h

ChiefPacker said...

"everyone go back and re-read H and freaks pats/colts lovefest

end of the page"


good stuff

ChiefPacker said...

"I didn't think we ever agreed on terms."


fair enough

ChiefPacker said...

back to tps

ChiefPacker said...

i hate you, jug

I'll Show You How to Pitch said...

6/6

with 51 seconds left


det

Blue said...

how can you type that fast

I'll Show You How to Pitch said...

I think it's the 8 years of piano I took growing up; that and typing class in 9th grade

I'll Show You How to Pitch said...

I think Keith types faster though; he got a crazy high WPM on a fb typing test a while back

Keef said...

also 9th grade typing class

ns

Keef said...

O:FM

Jugdish said...

chief packer avatar looks like its about to sneeze

Jugdish said...

Grant tweeted Saturday: "1st n last tweet.Pack Fans might want 2 start booking flights 4 feb. Not looking ahead but u c we just have better players than other teams."




so you're looking ahead...got it

Keef said...

wall

Spaceman Spiff said...

'When he was finished addressing the media at the stadium, Brady was seen sobbing on the shoulder of teammate Wes Welker, his leading wide receiver.'

Mize said...

Keith thinks Ricky Gervais isn't funny.




Worst sense of humor ever.

Keef said...

did you see the show last night? Even people who like that limey brit think that it wasn't funny

Keef said...

I've nerve seen his standup. Maybe he's hysterical. But as an awards show host, he's not funny

Mize said...

"my hikeskool coach said that too,"


Never in my life have I dove for a basketball. Ever.

I'll Show You How to Pitch said...

The clips of RG from last night I've seen are hilarity; a lot of people didn't think it was funny because they were so pissed off he called out the ceremony for being bullshit. He called out the Foreign Press (who put on the awards) for being corrupt (making jokes about them being charged with bribery for accepting cash for nominating crappy films) and stupid, and he had some good digs on some crappy movies nominated this year and celebs there.

Mize said...

Agreed

Keef said...

I can disagree. It's allowed

Mize said...

DISALLOWED!

Mize said...

I hope I can get my auger started on Friday. It would suck if I can't.

Keef said...

That would just save more time for drinking

Mize said...

Not much more. Need to get holes drilled, and the auger is kind of a bitch.

Mize said...

It's MUCH easier if there are 2 people to get it fired up.

Keef said...

No, I mean if your can't fish, you can drink more

Mize said...

I know what you mean. Ice fishing consists of waiting around for a fish to strike a tip up. There's little to no actual fishing since we don't jig.

Jugdish said...

wall

JFreak said...

Jig your face.

Keef said...

jigga what

Jugdish said...

wall

Jugdish said...

wall

Jugdish said...

wall

El Padrino said...

i love how meiz is an expert ice fisher

El Padrino said...

brady since dumping bridget

06 - massive chokejob against colts, would have won another title
07 - 18-1
08 - knee got fucked
09 - destroyed at home, 1st round exit
10 - got rex'd as #1 seed

suite



karma

Jugdish said...

wall

tem said...

go. more edits coming soon.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino