Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Going for 2

Well I am going to take another shot at it over Christmas. I am 1 for 1 now, let's see if I can get 2 for 2.

Now let's talk sports. The Heat are all better after 1 win. 1 win over the Wizards who aren't that good. I guess Lebron didn't take a 3 and instead took a 2 so that solved everything. Good for the Heat.

Derek Anderson is not good. Sorry.

Boise State's kicker received numerous threats on his life. Stop it Blue.

tOSU fans are saying they have never beaten an SEC team in a bowl game. Is that true Keef?

tOSU fans are already assuming they are going to lose in the Sugar Bowl to LSU. tOSU fans think they have the shittiest 1 loss team that ever lived. Except Michigan State, they assume they would destroy Michigan State if the two teams played.

Speaking of Michigan State, poor fellas. They go 11-1 and get stuck in the Capital One bowl. They'll probably lose that game too. Teams that get bounced from the BCS when they thought they deserve it perform very poorly in bowl games. It is science. Or rigged by the BCS people.

Speaking of the BCS get used to seeing TCU in the Fiesta Bowl or Orange Bowl. I don't see how they don't win the Big East every year for the next 5 years. Well except next year when they aren't in it yet. Also some tOSU fans were getting all holier then now* about TCU being in the Big East. Saying the travel time isn't good for College kids. It's not like Nebraska is really close to Penn State. Plus College kids don't study anyway.

Word on the street is that if Harbaugh wants the Michigan job it is his, if not then RRod stays.

How in the world do Andre Johnson and Whatever Finnwhatever only get fined $25k each? WTF? Some people are getting fined $50k for hits during the game that 6 weeks ago were pretty much legal. These guy get into an all out brawl and get that? WFT?

People again think I am here in the office to work. I am totally made for winning the lottery and doing nothing with my life. I used to have drive, but I lost it.

WFT are these Wikileaks? Should I read about them? Do I care?

Jeter seems dumb for thinking he is worth $20M per year.

Drew Brees is SIs sportsman of the year. His scar got 2nd.

Washington has the most NHL points, they are the best team.

Is Major League Soccer in session?

In MMA news if Fitch fights Penn Fitch will whip him.

Time to post this nonsense.

Monday, November 29, 2010

26 days until Chrismas*


Hopefully everyone had a safe & satisfying Thanksgiving weekend. Mine was pretty productive. All the Chrismas* decorations are up and I even got some Xmas shopping done. I didn't even have to use my AK.

Fuck those blue turf turds.

Hopefully everyone saw the suite fight from the Texans game. Courtland Finnegan seems like a punk bitch, so I'm glad he got a few punches to his dome. Plus, his name is Courtland. So he's a punk bitch and he's ghey.

New BCS standings are out and Stanford is up to #4 which gives them an automatic BCS spot if they stay there. I would imagine that if they stay at #4 they would play in the Rose Bowl against Wisconsin, which would be a suite matchup of teams that like to pound the ball.
I wouldn't find that game compelling. /mize

Bears lookt* pretty good against the Pheagles. But some dude got kilt* because he fell from the 2nd deck about 50 feet during the game. Drinking is bad, kids.

Cmk & I were watching Unique Eats on the Cooking Channel last night, and they were showing this Voodoo Donuts place. LP would ♥ this donut that they make.
Is that a weiner? /bglp

We're fighting now. /Lee Myung-bak

I don't know which Bronco is worst*, Boise or Denver.

Holy cow, Peyton Manning was getting tainted left and right last night. It's good to see him break out the Peyton Manning face every now & then. It makes us feel that all is right with the world.

Falcons lookt* solid yesterday against the fudge packers. GB's running game is just atrocious. If they had any semblance of a running game, ahik*, they probably would have won yesterday. And if I had $1,000,000 I probably would not have been working over the weekend.

LP, your name/pic is How bout dem Buckeyes

GFY, Boise.

RIP Frank Drebin. As a tribute, everyone give their favorite Leslie Nielsen quote today. Don't post 57 quotes, LP.

Go comment.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Whys it gotta be black friday? /Steve

Cuz i said so. / Blue

Who's at work today besides keef? *and me

Green Bay (+2) @ Atlanta - Think Green Bay plays like it's hair is on fire. that home record for Matt Ryan is damn impressive though. I must say.

Pittsburgh (-6.5) over Bills - Bills have won two in a row but the losses came over bad teams. When bad teams play each other we all lose. Ryan Fitzpatrick is becoming quite the QB though. If I'm Buffalo I think about this guy long term or at least start thinking about it. Steelers demolished the Raiders last week and the money was on the Raiders, it was a sexy upset pick last week. That's how hotels in the sand are built my friends.

Carolina (+10.5) over Cleveland - Holy shit I like the Browns play of late but 10.5 points? Easy oddsmakers. Delhomme is walking through that door.

Jax (+7) over NY Giants - I wouldn't give 7 points to the Lil Giants right now. This team is not healthy and playing a bad brand of football right now.

(as I'm writing this I see another Palmer pick, my god, he's terrible, If I ever hear another analyst say "If Carson Palmer plays to his potential again" or something of that nature I will fucking send them asbestos in an evelope, he's fucking terrible. Awful. Just stop. Terrible. His potential is gone and was only there for a minute.)

Minnesota (+2) over Washington - Just like the Cowboys needed (a kick in the ass), the Vikes got it. Here's to quitting on your coach to get him fired then rip off 5 out of 6.

Titans (+6.5) over Houston - I know some dude named Rusty is going to play QB but there is something about the points that bother me. They still have the best back in the league and Houston secondary is putrid. Maybe the kid makes a play or two. Titans need this game.

Miami @ Oakland - No line due to QB situation. I'm guessing if it's Henne it will be fins -2 no Henne Oakland -1. Either way it's about aFG spread. I'm taking my fins no matter the spread. They won't go away this year.

(as I typed this they cut to the troops at a base watching the game and it's Matt Millen's son giving the holiday message and now I feel like a dick for making fun of him....Rule #8 in life. You can't make fun of someone if thier son is fighting a war.)

KC (1.5) over Seattle - Nothing to see here.

Philly @ Chicago (+3) - Fuck it, everyone else seems to think the Bears are for real I'll give it a shot.

St. Louis (+4) over Denver - Not sure what the Broncos really are but I honetly think the Rams can hang around.

Tampa Bay @ Baltimore (-7) - Let's see if Freeman likes getting smacked in the mouth.

San Diego @ Indy (-3) - There was a stat out there that said Bill Belichick only had like one 2 game losing streak or something like that. I wonder how many times Peyton has endured one in the same stretch (outside of his rookie year). I dont think you ever beat him at night on national TV anyway let alone coming off a loss and at home.

San Fran (-1) over Arizona - What a Monday Night slobberknocker. Jesus Christ can they fucking flex this game to never and play another matchup. I'd even consider the KC/Seattle tilt or fucking Carolina/Cleveland.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

TCS is dead

just goes to show that nothing lives forever.

I know this has been discussed before but who'd have thought that out of Mandy Moore, Jessica Simpson, Xtina, and Britney, that Xtina would end up the normal one...although Mandy Moore is pretty normal too I guess. I'm just tired of her being all goody three shoes in movies. Break out and do something exciting or sexy, quit being meg ryan. Fuck a guy in a barn or something. Or become a serial killer who likes to have sex with women...i don't know, i'm not a screenwriter

Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday. It's the start of the ski season, it's the start of the playoff push for the NFL, it's winding up the CFB season with a lot of good rivalry games usually. It's 4 days off (not for me /mize). Then we get to the eating part. I'll eat all day tomorrow, and then when it's Turkey time, I won't be able to eat that much, but i'll force it down. I'm not a pumpkin pie guy though (colov). What time do most peeps eat Thanksgiving...we're eating at like 3 I think, which is the best way in my opinion. Once had Thanksgiving meal at like noon, which was awful, and I can't wait until 6pm or something, that's just crazy talk.

The games tomorrow are going to be crappy. (not the lions, they're a 10 win team /mize). But that's ok, means I can sleep off some of the food.

It's budget season for blue, and he's all pissed off at the company for giving out shitty raises...he should go work for Google. Maybe they'll give him an Ipad.

Thanksgiving eve is here, all rejoice and sing songs of turkey delight.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I really have nothing

I've got nothing today. I could talk about Vince Young, but I don't want to. I could talk about Operation F$#k Miami, but I don't want to. I could talk about how the Blue Jackets are OK apparently, but I don't want to. I could talk about Jimmie Johnson, but I don't want to. There is a lot of not want in me today.

I saw someone today, it was a funny story, but I forgot.

Sometimes when there is a spider in the house I will kill it, but other times I take it outside. I think that might help me if there is an afterlife, but maybe not. Maybe the inconsistency is the killer.

Some guy just walked into my office and set his coffee cup down and then left. I bet he thinks I am going to do work for him. I probably will, but his coffee stinks. Good thing I have a stuffed up nose.

I was going to do a mailbag, but it seems like I have to do work now.

So since it's a holliday week I leave you with this image. It is one of my favorites.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Runny* diary

American Music Awards running diary. I'm really only watching this to see Backstreet Boyz & NKOTB perform together. (S) All times are MST. I had goddman softball tonight (we won 39-4 ns), so this is via DVR.

8:00 - Apparently there isn't a host for the showThe show starts with a performance from Rihanna. Cmk says "Oh my god, I hate her. I can't stand her music". Good start to the show.
Side note: Rihanna looks pretty goddman good. But yeah, I'm not really a fan of her music either.
8:05 - 3 songs later and she's finally done. cmk: "get off the stage, bitch"
8:06 - They're introducing who's gonna be on the show, and apparently P. Diddy is now knows as Diddy Dirty Money. Fucking ratarded
8:08 - Usher wins the 1st album of the night for blackest album of the year. Good job!
Side note: I've never seen Usher not wear sunglasses. He must hang out with Tony Sparano.
8:10 - Black Eyed Peas won some pop rock award. I only mention this because Will I Am is wearing a hat that is made out of Legos. I want that hat. (NS)
Side note: BFAHIA here, but Fergie is fucking gross
8:13 - Enrique Kournikova performs his song with Pit Bull. I'm pretty sure if you have a song that Pit Bull is involved with, it's going to be a hit. He's the new Nate Dogg.
8:15 - From Pit Bull we go to a performance by Miley Cyrus. After they introduce her, cmk says Suite. cmk ♥s her some Miley. (NS) Then she sees me start typing and she says "Don't say anything mean about Miley." So I won't. But I really want to.
8:24 - I'm not typing anything now because I'm eating a Blizzard
8:26 - Taylor Swift won something. She looks like Phoebe in Friends. I hope Kanye busts in to interrupt again.
Side note: Cmk thinks Taylor Swift should eat something.
8:30 - Kid Rock is singing some awful song. Cmk says that the only way this can be saved is if he breaks into Bawitaba (sp?) right now.
Side note: My dog has giant ears
8:37 - I guess they don't have a host for the show because they need the extra time to have 2 music performances in between each award. The Black Eyed Peas are on stage now. This is really annoying.
Side note: I don't like the BEP, but I can see why they're so popular. The music itself is usually pretty catchy. It's too bad they have those awful lyrics that we have to hear.
8:39 - Katy Perry is next. Suite. I told cmk Katy Perry is probably in my top 5. She said that's fine because she's pretty cute, but her music still sucks. I can't argue that.
8:45 - Rihanna just won for blackest female artist of the year. Way to go!
8:47 - Justin Bieber performing now. Good thing for fast forward. Just as I type that, cmk says "can you FF this, please".
8:49 - Biggest cowboy hat award goes to..... Brad Paisley. WTG, Brad!!! Your genre sucks.
8:50 - Oh look, another live performance. Bon Jovi. cmk: "You can go ahead and FF this, too".
8:51 - Commercial for Winter Wipeout this week. Suite. I ♥ Wipeout.
8:55 - Goddman, Kelly Osbourne is skinny as fuck. WFT happened to her? But she's out to, wait for it, introduce the next live performance. This is at least the 10th one and we're not even halfway through the show.
Side note: This has been talked about ad nauseum here, but Pink no doubt has a giant penis that she fucks Corey Hart with every night. I wouldn't fuck Pink with LP's dick.
Is a penis like a weiner? /bglp
9:00 - Skating with the Stars? Really, ABC? Are you officially out of ideas? The only suite thing about that show is that Finkel is Einhorn is going to be one of the contestants.
9:01 - NeYo live performance. We'll FF through this.
9:02 - Oh, followed by a Taylor Swift performance. We'll keep FF.
9:03 - Nominees for pop/rock artist are.... Justin Bieber, Eminem, & Usher. One of these things doesn't belong. And JB wins. What the fuck is going on here? Eminem & Usher have more talent in their fingernail than this douche has. This shit is awful.
9:05 - Christina Aguilera on stage singing now. It's weird seeing her not rail thin. She's got thighs like what, now. And the hounds still look pretty good.
Side note: John Legend might be whiter than Wayne Brady.
9:10 - And the award for the biggest cowboy had worn by a group goes to.... Lady Antebellum. Which is weird because they were nominated for pop/rock group earlier in the show.
9:12 - Usher on stage now. He's one of the best performers of my lifetime, probably only behind MJ. (NS) If I could be any other dude for a day, it would probably be Usher. (NS) That's right, there's Usher chills in the room. (NS) But I'm not going to go so far as to say that I'd fuck him, mize.
9:18 - Another live performance. This time it's jug's least favorite band, Train. I like Train. They've had some good songs over the last 8 or 9 years. That Soul Sister song is pretty suite. Any song that uses a ukelele has to be good.
I like trains, too. /Beth
9:23 - Goddman, DVR is coat* up now. I hate having to watch commercials.
9:24 - Adult contemporary nominees are...Michael Buble, Train, and.... Lady Antebellum? WFT? How many categories can you be in?
9:27 - Performing live, it's.... KESHA!!! Fuck her stupid dollar sign. You need to have talent to pull that one off. They need to stop forcing her down our throughts*. 1) She's not hot. 2) She uses a computer to alter her voice. and 3) She's not hot.
9:35 - Santana & the singer from Bush on stage performing now. That's a weird combo. The Bush guy has a suite ponytail, too. And the song they're singing is Bang A Gong (Get it On). Just an awful performance.
9:40 - Lady Antebellum is presenting the award for the blackest male artist of the year. I'm SAS that they aren't nominated. And Usher wins. Which makes sense. He won blackest album at the beginning of the show, so of course he'd be the blackest male. WTG Usher!
9:48 - Ryan Secrest presenting artist of the year. Justin Beaver*, Eminem, Kesha, Lady Gaga, & Katy Perry are the nominees. Beaver wins artist of the year. Let that sink in. Seriously. cmk just said that music is stupid. I don't get it. Who votes on this shit?
9:52 - Final performance of the night is New Kids & Backstreet Boys. I'm somewhat intrigued. The only question I have is, was Backstreet the 1st group that was axed to join NKOTB, or did NSync & 98° get axed first and politely decline?
Side note: Marky Mark's brother thinks that he's such a pimp. It's hilarity to watch.
Show's over. Don't forget to tip your server.

Friday, November 19, 2010

It's Friday, you know what to do

In sports news a highly ranked college football team is facing uncertainty because their star football player may or may not have indicated he wants to get paid for his comittment. In other news politicians are lying.

Onto the picks.

Bills @ Bengals (-5.5) - I don't know. Here's how I look at this game. Let's say retarded Steve had a brother. And he too was retarted but he was also missing a hand. And let's say they scheduled a fight between each other to settle am argument that centered arounf Leggo's and boogers. Steve would be favored -160 (Bengals) over handless retarded brother (weird enough also named Steve but with a ph) Steph (Bills). I'd take older brother Steve. Makes sense right?

Detroit (+6.5) @ Dallas - I know, it seems like a hate pick. Being as the Lions haven't won a road game in the same amount of time Jug hasn't reached third base with cgjug. Talk about taking it slow Detroit. That's alot of points to give the Lions who hang around then usually collapse in the last 2 minutes. I don't think Dallas covers.

Washington @ Tennessee (-7) - Well it would be an understatement if I said the Skins are coming off a bad loss. I'm not sure how they are going to respond but the Titans are a good football team. And they are coming off their own loss. And are home. Vegas nailed this line.

Arizona (+8) over KC - Well the polish has rubbed off that turd. Yeah Arizona is horrible and yeah it's a 1pm game a long way from Arizona and yeah KC is good at home but damn. Denver dun whupped they ass on Sunday man. I'm throwing a coin on this one. I wouldn't be surprised if KC won by 40 but I also wouldnt be surprised if Arizona won a FG. I guess McDaniels knew exactly what Crennel would try and do. Whizzanator has to try and duplicate that no?

Green Bay (-3) @ Minnesota - Whoa, Vikes a home dog in November. Weird. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. SWEEEEPP. Rodgers puts on the belt in the Metrodome. The Vikes nightmare season continues.

Houston @ NYJ (-7) - The overtime drama kings won't need the extra time this week. How many seasons of 8-8 football do the Houston fans have to put up with before this Kubiak guy gets fired?

Oakland @ Pittsburgh (-7) - Steelers rebound. Palomalu vs Blacktard. Who ya got?

Baltimore (-10) @ Carolina - Jimmy Claussen is gonna feel like he just got groped by a TSA agent after this one. I smell a spleen injury.

Cleveland (+1.5) @ Jacksonville - Feisty bunch those Browns. I like. Don't forget the Jet team fat boy is winning with was built by the Mangenius and his man tits. Bobby Flay ain't got nothing on the Mangina.

Atlanta @ St. Louis (+3) - It's gonna take a signature win like this one to turn heads Spags. Get it done. Then they'll believe.

Seattle @ New Orleans (-11.5) - Well that's two road wins for the Seahawks. Can they get to three despite me thinking the first two never happened? No. And yes I know the Saints are like 1-6 ATS at home so far this year. I don't give a shit.

Tampa Bay (+3) @ San Fran - Can't wait for Monday's Legarrette Blount gif.

Indy @ New England (-3.5) - Man fuck this pick but it's the right move.

NYG (+3) @ Philly - Vick's cock is dry to the bone after a week of the media draining his kids out if it. Eagles are flying high. Perfect storm for the New York Football Giants who played like shit against the Cowboys. Humbled and re-focused it's time to show these clowns who the beast of the east it. Bow down Rev (don't tip over big guy).

Denver (+10) over San Diego - Shit 10 points. Denver just hung 59 yo. Oh wait. Is it time for the Chargers to turn it on yet?

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Jug is sick...woe

Sore throats suck!

So it looks like everyone is on board with New Orleans for the LOV Summit II.

Pat Summit?!?! Suite!!


Is it too early to try and pin down a weekend next year? If so, I'm proposing late August like we did this year.

Tiger is doing interviews now since its been a year he got beat with his own golf club. His interviews are horribly boring, but then again, he has been asked the same questions by everyone over the course of the last year. I can't blame him for not being entertaining. Besides, he's not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe. Oh Tiger said he enjoys making mac and cheese with his kids and taking them shopping. No way he is doing those things, Consuela is.

Tomorrow is the football picks column, since there is a game tonight Lp was nice enough to email me his pick for that game to include on my column today...here it is:

"Chicago +1.5 over Miami. Thursday night footyball makes me want to take a nap inside Kim K's vag. I'm starting to think this Bears team mite be for realz you. Their D is solid and even Steve thinks their special teams are special. Their offense has been shakey, but Cutler makes some throws that make me cum in my pants. Chad squared is out for the season, I'll take the Bears."

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Rough Morning

I'm having a rough morning. Went to the nuggets game last night...guy walking by spilt his beer on me. I gave him the "c'mon bro" line...and it was on like donkey kong ™...stupid short knicks fans.

Fuck Winter already

College basketball started yesterday...sort of. tOSU beat FU...revenge...Greg Oden and Mike Conley and Troy Smith approve.

Who names their kid Thad...what a douchetastic name

Clouds are circling for Cam Newton...the good news for that kid...the NCAA takes forever to figure anything out, so he'll get to play the rest of the season...the bad news for Auburn, it'll all get taken away soon. Basically they were using the "we never heard of this" excuse up until last week, when the NCAA said that Cam's pops admitted to talking about a pay for play scenario. The NCAA then left it up to Auburn to decide if they wanted to play him. So basically they said, "fuck it" lets go all in and try and win and get the cash payout, and if he's later ruled ineligible...well they can't take away what we did on the field.

Why did Mike Belotti quit at Oregon...I still haven't figured that one out. If he still wanted to coach (he's a candidate for the CU job) why would he give up the brazilions that is Phil Knight.

Too much Mike Vick love..trap game for the iggles this week, gints coming off an ass beating...sets up way to well for the Gints.

Watch Boardwalk Empire don't watch Hawaii Five-0

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

UFC talk at the end

Drove a Kia Soul in North Dakota, it was not that cool.

What the heck is up with this Glee show? Is it like Grease 2, but in TV form? Are the songs original or are they just singing songs that are from other musicals or something? Is this something tem would like? I don’t think he would like it.

Michael Vick just played one of the greatest games a QB has ever played. Or the Redskins just let him do it. Either way, 4 passing TDs, 2 rushing TDs, over 300 passing, over 50 rushing, that’s never been done. Except when El Pad calls the plays.

tOSU Talk
Basketball, basketball, basketball. tOSU fans are hoping that the men’s basketball team beats Florida. They will consider it revenge for the national title football game. tOSU fans generally hate the SEC and all things SEC, but they really really hate Florida and LSU.

Fantasy sports talk: ________
Vick won my $$$ league for me. He scored like 52 points. Lloyd, who I just traded for scored another 25 or so. The two of them lost by 2 points to the other team. Tamme, who I just traded for put me over the top. I like it when 1 player scores +50. At least when he is on my team.

Is _________ hot ?

Maggie Gyllenhaal

No, this is the dumbest one I have ever done. Just no.

Final Race this Sunday, or Saturday….final race this weekend. Hamlin leads Johnson and Harvick. It is a 3 dog race. Zenyatta won’t win.

UFC Talk
IMO a big fight looms this weekend. Rampage vs Machida will basically demote one of the fighters to gatekeeper status. The winner launches themselves back into the title talk and the loser probably gets Jon Bones Jones (assuming he wins his next fight against Darth Vader (no force allowed)) to test and see if Jones is legit.

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson vs. Lyoto Machida

Rampage will hate fighting Machida because Machida will not just stand there and punch. Machida should be the heavy favorite here because Rampage will run in and Machida will side step and counter. The only way Rampage wins is if he catches Machida.

The bigger story line here is will there be a sequel to the A Team movie? If Rampage shows up in terrible shape then bank on it, if Rampage shows up looking ripped then maybe not.

Either way the fight should go to Machida by either a TKO because Rampage wore down or a decision.

B.J. Penn vs. Matt Hughes

Penn can’t win the lightweight crown so he moves up to fight Hughes. Penn doesn’t historically do well at this weight and Hughes looked pretty legit last fight. I thought Hughes had hit the bottom, but he apparently has a little gas left in his tank. I am pretty sure these guys hate each other so this should be a good fight. Although it has the possibility of being 15 minutes of Hughes laying on Penn and getting a boring decision.

Tem says Hughes wins by TKO because Penn won’t be in shape.

Aaron Simpson vs. Mark Munoz

Mark Munoz is not related to Anthony Munoz. Aaron Simpson is not related to Homer Simpson.

Munoz wins by decision.

Gerald Harris vs. Maiquel Jose Falcao Goncalves

Good lord that second guy has a lot of names. Is this a tag team match? Like WWF style where it is 2 on 1? Gerald Harris must be a beast if he is fighting 2 dudes.

I guess I’ll go with the guy with 4 names.

George Sotiropoulos vs. Joe Lauzon

I can’t pronounce the one guy’s name, so the other one wins.

Brian Foster vs. Matt Brown

Matt Brown could be legit. Maybe not though. I get him mixed up with another Matt. In any case I think Foster wins because he is Australian for beer.

Tyson Griffin vs. Nik Lentz

Tyson used to be a little tank with lots of energy that just rolled people. Then he must have gotten off roids or something because he looks normal now. I think he needs this win to stay in the UFC. He’ll get it.

Phil Davis vs. Tim Boetsch

Boetch wins.

Edson Barboza vs. Darren Elkins

Barboza is a pirate from those movies with Depp. He wins by ransom choke. I made that up.

Karo Parisyan vs. Dennis Hallman

Karo fights are always boring to me. I hope Hallman destroys him. Let’s say he does.

Paul Kelly vs. T.J. O’Brien

I don’t know at all. Umm O’Brien sounds Irish and they are lucky so he wins.

Monday, November 15, 2010


F it, I'm going to pile on. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Giants. That was pathetic. Maybe the blackout distracted them.

Speaking of pathetic, the goddman Bengals are embarrassing. If they could not turn the ball over multiple times in the 1st quarter, ahik*, they would probably have won the last 2 games. But spotting teams like Indy & Pitt double digit leads in the 1st quarter isn't going to work, obviously.

Congrats on taking down the undefeated team, Freak. Figures that I was deciding between Ben & Fitzpatrick @ QB and I should of* gone with goddamn Orton. Oh well.

We boat* a new washer & dryer @ HD this weekend. You know how I know I'm old & married... and ghey, apparently? I was looking forward to going and buying a new washer & dryer. My life is basically over, right? Right? But it was a suite deal. LG, normally $1099 each, got them for $599 each.

OK enough ghey talk. Let's go eat some meat & drink some beer.

Goddman pirates finally released that British couple that they kidnapped like a year ago. I honestly thought that they had already kilt* them. But good for them that they didn't. I think the pirates go paid some good cash money, too, something like $750k. I need to go into piracy.

By a narrow margin of about 4,300 votes, Arizona voters approved a ballot measure that would legalize medical marijuana, state election officials said Sunday. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't even realize that was on the ballot. I don't pay attention to election stuff unless it's a presidential year. ns

Suggestions are welcome for the site of the 2nd LOV Summitt. So far Austin, N'awlins, Vegas, & um, St. Louis have been mentioned.

I say we should have it in ND. /tem

No, not in Indiana, that's dumb. /LP

Where are they at, Tem?

Goddman softball started tonight. We lost. Nothing new to see here.

So what does everyone want for Christmas?

Friday, November 12, 2010

All you can eat


Detroit @ Buffalo (-3) - The combination of Shaun Hill and the Lions on the road is never a good thing. The Bills get off the schneid!

Minnesota (-1) over Chicago - I don't think either team is any good but it looks like the Vikings found their pass rush just in time to play the worst offensive line in football. So Vikes big here. If I had a million dollars I'd a brazillion dollars on the Vikes.

NYJ @ Cleveland (+3) - Home dog and the Jets keep playing like dogshit for 58 minutes then excellent in the final 2 minutes so here's to hoping it will finally run out for fatboy and the mexican.

Cincy @ Indy (-7) - Maybe if the game was at Cincy I'd bite on the 7 but it's not so I won't. If you want to see how bad Carson Palmer really is put him on the same field as Peyton.

Titans @ Miami (+1) - Looks like Young will play but it never really mattered for me when capping this game. Miami wants and needs this game more and they'll get it.

Carolina @ Tampa Bay (-6.5) - Talk about teams going in the wrong direction.

Houston (+2) @ Jax - Again, if I had a million dollars...I'd put a brazillion on the Texans this week.

Kansas City @ Denver (+1) - Weird line so I'll just roll with it. Would've taken the Cheifs if I didn't think this was a trap. KC off a tough division loss, Denver off a bye with pretty much everything at stake at this point.

Dallas (+14) @ NYG - If Wade was still coach hell yeah I'd lay 14. But there is always a dynamic in sports when a coaching change is made. The team immediately gets better so the points scare me off.

Seattle @ Arizona (-3) - As usual I won't take Seattle on the road.

St. Louis (+6.5) @ San Fran - The Rams are alright man. I don't think two weeks is enough to fix whatever mess is in San Fran so even if they escape with a win the game will be tight.

New England @ Pittsburgh (-4.5) - AFC Championship game preview. NS.

Philly @ Washington (+3) - I don't have a clue what when on during those 2 weeks since the McNabb benching but whatever went on might have stoked a fire under everyone's ass like HEY, if you make stupid mistakes and play like a rookie your ass will be hung out to dry in front of the world. I'm Mike Shanahan dammit. I'll slap you in the mouth.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Happy Veterans Day!!!

Both of my grandfathers served in the Army during World War II. My dad was in the Marine Corps during Viet Nam. My brother was in Army for 6 years and is now in the Naval Reserves. I was in the Air Force for 8 years and have been in the Texas Air National Guard for the last 9 years, so military service has always been something that is important to me and something that I've been thankful for. Thank a veteran today (not me) and pray for the ones who gave the ultimate sacrifice so that we can live the lives we lead today.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

who likes pasta

Not much to say so far this morning

Working from home and have a stupid dentist appt. so i'm gonna keep it brief

Cam Newton is one and done at Auburn after all this shit. If i've learnt anything...where there's smoke, there is fire. I think this might kill his chances of winning the heisbow because they won't want another reggie bush debacle on their hands where they have to take the trophy back again.

In other sports news, the cricket championships are taking place and two teams have been playing for like 4 days.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

ND is cold. Going there this weekend.

Have you ever been sitting on your couch or chair or wherever and then a fly buzzes by your head? Then on his next buzz by you smack the shit out of him right out of mid air? Yeah, you backhand has ass about 10 feet over, but he keeps on flying like nothing happened? How the heck does he do that? If I got hit by a giant hand that was like 80 times bigger than me I think I’d die. Or at least I’d have a concussion or something. Football players need whatever kind of padding flies wear because their padding in the bomb sauce.

tOSU Talk
tOSU is talk around town has slowly started to focus on basketball. People around here thing tOSU has a legit shot to be a final 4 team this year. They lost the National Player of the Year (goddman pools) but they’ll keep on ticking. They got the kid from Catcher in The Rye, or his brother or something, so they are gonna be OK. The football team is basically just cruising into the Iowa game and then the Rose Bowl, or at least that’s what fans around here think.

Fantasy sports talk: ________
Lost in my $$$ league. I am trying to work out a trade though to help my team down the stretch here. Going after Tamme, I hope he is legit because I am going to over pay for him. I’m trading the guy in last place for him so I am hoping that overpaying doesn’t come back to bite me in the rear.

Is ________ hot ?

Cobie Smulders

Wow that is just a great name. First name, what the hell? Last name, what the hell? In any case she plays Robin on that How I Met Your Mother Show. She has long dark hair and a good to decent body. She reminds me of a cross between Tina Fey and Megan Fox. Although less Megan and more Tina. While her name is pretty awesome to say she is not hot. She is OK to Good looking. We’d all bang her (Jug after many years of dating her), but none of us would cut off any body parts to bang her. At least I doubt any of us would be that hard up. I mean if it came to that you could just pay a prostitute and that prostitute would probably look as good or better. So it’d be like lose a finger and bang Cobie Smulders or lose like $200 and bang a whore who looks like Cobie Smulders.

Denny Hamlin is making a run this year at dethroning Jimmie Johnson. Johnson has won the last 4 titles, but with 2 or 3 races to go Hamlin is now in the lead. Also, my favorite driver, Mark Martin, has finally figured out how to race again. He’s led some laps and gotten a couple top 5s. Good for him. Too bad his missed the playoffs.

NHL Talk

Lots of teams with 20 points, but St. Louis has done it in the least amount of games. They must be the best team. Currently Columbus is in a position to make the playoffs. I think the season ends in like 10 months, so we’ll see how they are doing in 8 months.

Monday, November 08, 2010

The Mess should sign Zenyatta

Lots of upsets in bolth NCAA & NFL footyball this weekend. Alabamer, Oklahoma, Mizzou, FSU, Clemson, New England (O:FB), & KC all go down this weekend. The best part of all that is Simmons crowning the Pats #1 on Friday. IN YOU FACE, SG!

To borrow a line from tem, NBA season is a couple weeks old. The Lakers & Hornets have the best records, they must be the best teams.

WSOP is down to 2 people. 2nd place wins $5 mil, 1st wins $8something mil. Bolth guys will gamble away their winnings in the next 6 months. I wish I could win $5 mil and have the chance to gamble it away.


Channing Crowder is hilarity. "Then they said something about they let [Dolphins linebacker] Karlos Dansby get away with a face mask the play before," Crowder said. "Who the f--- cares? A guy just spit in my face! I don't give a damn about Karlos pulling somebody's face mask. Like they didn't see [Dolphins quarterback] Chad Henne get hit twice when he slid. Yeah, a little Stevie Wonder and Anne Frank."
Asked what the Anne Frank reference meant, Crowder said "Who was that? Is that the blind girl? Helen Keller ... I don't know who the f--- Anne Frank is. I'm mad right now. F--- it. I'm not as swift as I usually am.
"I'm not as swift as I usually am" is the new "I'm mad busy, yo".

Thanksgiving is like 2ish weeks away. Goddman crazy.

Did anyone see the interview with Obamer on 60 Minutes last night? Not a grate look by him. It's funny how easy he thought everything would be.

An African won the NY Marathon. I think I read that was the first time ever. (s)

So I guess that shithole arena in Philly had some thing this weekend where people could go in and take anything that wasn't bolted to the floor or wall. Rev walked away with all the cheese dispensers. SCORE!!!

My beisbol award picks: NL MVP (Votto), NL Cy (Halladay), NL Mgr of Year (Baker), NL ROY (Buster), AL MVP (Hamilton), AL Cy (CC), AL Mgr (Maddon), AL ROY (Feliz).

Friday, November 05, 2010

Don't Ever Emasculate Me

Since anytime I mention anything that has to do with money/economy, etc I always get some ::blank stares:: I figured I'd offer a :

Wall Street Lesson of the Week
This week we'll take it slow (/jug) and learn about Fixed Income. Fixed Income simply means a type of an investment that yields a return. Bonds are a good example of Fixed Income. We'll talk about Bonds another time. Again, taking it slow.

Now onto sports.

ESPN arcade is pretty awesome. This just in.........James Harrison bumped into someone at the supermarket and was fined 50K for a bump within 10 yards of a Squash. I love College campuses. Like Gameday when it's at a cool looking college I love that. Missouri had a nice campus, the buildings were so cool. GA Tech has been in the top 4 in rushing for the past three years. They run it on first down, second down, third down and sometimes fourth down. They are like the Mariano Rivera of Collge Football. Everyone knows they are going to run, stop it. Everyone knows Rivera is throwing a cutter. Hit it. Sports. The best.

Look Zenyatta I'm impressed ok but you can't be the greatest horse that ever lived if A) you never ran in any leg of the Triple Crown or B) you can talk. So fuck you Zenyetta. If you can't stand the Mint Juleps than get out of Kentucky. I do hope you win though so Rick Reilly's head explodes.

Bar Debate of the Day:
Fellas if you can pick one girl from one era to pork who would it be (Pfeiffer /Tem), like for example, who didnt want to bang the young Britney Spears before she went wacko. So a 19 year old Britney would be a good example. For me, it's tough because the now version of Kim K I feel like we are living in an era where looking back I'd want her but there are some tough choices looking back. 1993 Mariah, 1997 J -Lo, maybe a nice 1992 Pamela Anderson or a 1989 Cindy Crawford. Maybe you'd go old school and fuck around with a nice bottle of a 1970 Raquel Welch. It's tough to pick one.

NFL Picks

Tampa (+8.5) @ Atlanta - Matty Ice at home is a lock but a frisky team within the division is worth taking a chance on. Especially with 8.5 points.

Chicago @ Buffalo (+3) - Bills come close every week, this week it happens.

New England (-4.5) over Cleveland - Little bit of a crazy line but I guess because the Browns whupped up on the champs then had two weeks to prepare for the Pats with an insider like Mangini on the sidelines is the reason for this line. It won't matter, O:FB is real but god damn the Pats look good this year.

Jets @ Detroit (+4) - I like the Lions at home, just like I like the Seahawks at home and the Rams at home. I'd like to see Dong Suh throw Sanchize around in this one. Bad teams play well at home. Good teams beat them. Let's see if the Jets are good. Apparentaly they are included in everyone's top 5 teams list except for mine. Am I letting the hate get in the way?

Arizona (+9) over Minnesota - Fucking nine? I don't care if Minnesota was playing San Jose St. on purple turf, there is no way the Vikings should be laying 9 to any NFL team. Fucking Derek Anderson baby. Bring the noise.

New Orleans (-6) over Carolina - If this game was in the dome the spread would be 12 or more. And I know they played them close a few weeks ago. I dont give a shit. I think the Saint D is starting to come around.

Miami @ Baltimore (-5.5) - I'm ashamed picking against my adopted 2010 team. But Baltimore is tough. Especially at home. Off a bye after nearly losing to Buffalo. I'm even ignoring Miami's strong road record and monster ATS numbers (6-2 vs team with winning record, 16-5 ATS past 21 road games!!!!!).

San Diego @ Houston (+3) - Yummy, home dog. Delicious. The lines are fucked up this week.

Giants (-6.5) @ Seattle - I know. I mentioned earlier that I like taking Seattle at home. But cmon, let's be serious for a minute. The Seahakws beat the Niners, Cards and Chargers at home.
Those teams have like 15 losses combined. Outside of a driving wind/rain storm I expect the Giants to win by like 20.

Kansas City @ Oakland (-2.5) - I'm taking the home team because it's the first time in like 4 years that the Black Hole will be awake. And I mean awake. Have you seen the way those people dress?

Indy (+3) @ Philly - Vegas crowned they asses? Philly that good? I know Vick is back but damn.

Dallas @ Green Bay (-8) - Packers gonna ass rape the Cowboys.

Pittsburgh (-4.5) @ Cincy - Let's see if primetime football wakes the Bengals up. Doubt it. Not sure they know the season started 8 weeks ago.

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Lp Wrestling

So I checked off Extreme Midget Wrestling off my bucket list last week (being a spectator that is).

I boat* tickets on line the day of the event. On line it said ringside seats were $15 and general admission were $20. I thought that seemed odd, but I got two ringside seats. We got there a little early and snagged our ringside seats, and the people behind us told us that the website had the ticket prices backwards. Later on in the evening some waitress tried to get us to move, but that was not happening.

I came with my digital camera and flip cam ready to get some good stuff for LOV, but they told us we'd get kicked out if we took pictures or video. Had I known that the chicks we were with would want to leave after the halftime show, I would have take some video towards the end of the half and just got kicked out then. Since I didn't get any good pics of video, I found some on the interwebs.

The reigning midget champ Nasty Boy came out to the ring first with his belt in hand. He was the resident villian, and proceeded to tell the crowd how much the Texas Rangers suck. He was right, but still. Nasty Boy eventually took on a little midget black guy named Rampage in a title match. Nasty Boy was yelling stuff at the crowd the whole time and Rampage was getting his little ass handed to him for most of the match, until he won the upset. Yup...we got to see the midget title change hands. Apparently the little ref didn't like Rampage and the two started jawing at each other and eventually the mini ref challenged the small, black Rampage to a match later in the evening. Suite!

Here is a video of Lil Rampage giving some chick a lap dance. This is what they did during the half time show, which is why the chicks we were with wanted to leave.

The next match was Lil Devil, who looked kind of like Darth Maul, and another midget named Kid J. Even though they were both midgets, Lil Devil was quite a bit bigger than Kid J. Kid J was sporting some board shorts, but they looked like pants on him. Lil Devil was quick though, and he escaped with the win after doing a little 619. Kid J vs Lil Devil

I don't remember many details about the third match because they started over an hour late, and after the intros and everything I had consumed enough beer that I wasn't paying close attention to details. What I do remember was that the match was ended on a Stunner...which was suite.

Half time show had the midgets giving lap dances to random women in the audience...so we ended up leaving. Good times...I recommend seeing it once.

This weekend I am working on Saturday and Sunday, but Saturday night I am going here to see these guys.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

maybe its time

Megan Fox kind of annoys me now. I'm working my way through the 2nd Transformers movie on my dvr. And by working through it, I mean I can watch about 20 minutes at a time before I get bored. Megan Fox nudity is what's missing.

Speaking of nudity...Boardwalk Empire has a lot of it. Not really attractive nudity though, but naked chicks is better than not naked chicks I always say.

Elections were yesterday, somewhere zeke is smiling cuz the GOP dun whooped some ass.

I'm not sure why it's called the GOP...is that like OPP?

That Tunucci guy was on the radio here last night talking about the Randy Moss tirade. Dude was hilarious. The radio guys were ripping on him and he kept making jokes back. It was good times. He was very proud of their "funeral menu".

Speaking of Randy Moss...who thinks that this was all a ploy by Belicheat to get a draft pick...It's like he told Randy: "look, we're going to trade you away for a pick, but if you throw an absolute fit and can get yourself waived, we'll pick you back up. If you do all of this, we'll give you a long-term contract, that's the ultimate sacrifice for a team." Belichick knew they were going to play the Vikings in week 8. I'm down with the consipiracy theory.

Seems to me that Lebron is trying to hard to let people know that it doesn't bother him that everyone hates him. I think it does bother him, and he goes home and cries like a baby every night...and then rolls around on a bed full of money and falls asleep.

The Big lEast has plans for football expansion. That's great...put a bunch more shitty teams in your conference so everyone can make fun of how crappy you are. I think the BCS should be like the soccer leagues in Europe where if you have a shitty year you lose your BCS auto-qualify the next year, and have to work to get back into it. ACC and big lEast are both worst than the Mtn West and maybe even the WAC.

NFL coaching firings: at the midway point, here's my prediction: Fox (Carolina) is gone, Singletary is gone, Phillips is gone, Mcdaniels is gone if they don't win at least 5 games over the 2nd half, Mangini is gone, Marvin Lewis is gone, Childress is gone, Whisenhunt should be gone for the Leinart debacle alone (but he'll get one more year because of the superbowl run), if the texans struggle down the stretch...Kubiak is gone too.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010


Someone hit my car in the parking garage. They left a note with a phone number, but when I call the phone number I get an error message. No voicemail, just an error message. It is OK though, they just scratched it a bit. No worries.

Things I Take Too Literally And They Piss Me Off

This goddman taco bell commercial about the big chalupa. Girardi is bringing in Rivera before the guy even touched the chalupa. The chalupa isn’t half eaten or even a quarter eaten. The thing isn’t touched. You don’t bring in the closer to relieve the starter before the starter even throws a pitch.

tOSU Talk
tOSU is on BYE this week so the talk has been minimal. Thanks be to Obama.

Fantasy sports talk: ________
Bad win in my $$$ league. I scored the second least amount of points this week. Luckily I played the team that scored the least. My team should be playing better than it is, but it’s not. I think it is time to blame the coaching staff. My defense is pretty good, people aren’t scoring a lot of me, but my offense is too inconsistent. 140 pts one week, 78 the next.

Is _________ hot ?

Morena Baccarin

Yeah she is hot. I bet half of you don’t know who she is. She is the chick on V. She was also on Firefly a TV show back in the day that tem liked but it got cancelled. Tem didn’t know about the show until after it was cancelled.

NFL Talk
Moss story is weird, more later.

Baseball Talk

Giants in 6. I jinxed Texas by picking them. I am the worse picker.

Monday, November 01, 2010

It's November already???

Labron* would do the decision differently now

The Bangles* still suck.

LOV sucks sometimes.

Bert looks good when he's bleeding.

Boise keeps falling. Good.

That's all. Good post, freak.

Go comment.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"

"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem

"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug

"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino

"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H

"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino

"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino