Tuesday, August 31, 2010

September is the greatest month

I love september. Best month of the year. You have the start of College Football season. You have the start of the NFL season. Kids are back in school. It starts to cool off, not as hot. Labor Day. Blue's Birthday. Only 30 days. Yom Kippur. Ramaadaan. Blue's birthday. Football. Leaves changing color...it's the best month.

August is the worse, can't think of one good thing about that shitty month.

So with a month left to play in beisbol, looks like the Reds have pretty much clinched the NL Central. Bravos are in great shape, same with the Padres. That leaves the Wild Card. I don't give a shit about the AL.

In the "year of the pitcher" bunch of guys have ERAs under 3.00, at the same time, there's 3 guys in the NL with a legit shot at the triple crown. Votto should be the MVP, redonk numbers for a team with the best record in the NL. Pujols again put up great numbers, but shitty cardinal team, and apathy because he always wins work against him. And then there's my man-crush Cargo. Dude is just the best baseball player alive...period. Reminds me of when I used to crush on Junior. He's leading the NL it batting avg. 5th in HRs and 3rd in RsBI. Take that Matt Holliday. Monday night Cargo shattered his bat and still hit it over the RF's head for a triple to win the game. He rarely gets cheated, almost every ball he hits is hard. Guy plays defense lake a banshee running into walls. I remember when he first got called up with the A's (i picked him up in Fantasy) because he came up right after Jay Bruce, and the peeps were saying he'd be just as good. Then he hit like .209 and everyone hated him...a few months later he was traded to the Rockies (or maybe a season later, can't misremember). Lots of potential when he started with the Rockies, but was hitting in that .200 range in May/June last year and they sent him down to AAA. He got called back up, and hit like .600 in the playoffs and almost singlehandedly beat the phillies (but stupid huston street kilt them) So in the course of basically a year, he's gone from being a huge disappointment to Superstar. He even has his own Taco Bell commercial locally.

So I'm going to enjoy September and watch the Rockies struggle to try and catchup in the Wild Card, but continue to be amazed by Cargo. I'm going to watch some NFL. And by this time next week, i'll know whether or not Boise State's season is ruined or if they've got a legit shot at making a run.

Grenade Salad

So I didn’t wait to hear Beth’s answer. I got the Nano. She already has one, but hers is a 2GB one. I had a suite* Best Buy coupon that made it tons cheaper than one of those bracelets.

What’s with ________ as a hot chick?

Anne Hathaway

So she totally got her start doing like teenage girly movies…maybe not where she was a teenager, but where teenagers would watch it. But then she was like, screw it, I need to get some adult fans and she did that Havoc movie. Her boobs were small, but she is a pretty girl. I’d hit it. I think tons of people would hit it. But she just never took off. Now she is back to doing non-hot chick movies.

Did she marry some old dude and that ruined her?

Anna Paquin just married an old dude. I always thought she was hot too in that attainable kind of way. Like yeah she is hot, yeah she is a Hollywood actress, but her teeth are fucked up just enough that I could attain that. Not Dunst fucked up (whatever happened to her too?), but fucked up.

So this is a tem APB put out on Anne Hathaway…where did you go and when are you getting nekkid again?


Fantasy sports talk: ________

Had my draft last Thursday. I think my team will be solid. I have Wayne, Marshall and Welker at WR. That should be good if Wes’s kneed holds up.

Was reading football guys today, and they said Campbell hurt his wrist, but its OK because the Raiders have one of the better backup QBs in the league (Gradkowski).

WHHHHHAAAAA? When did the Bruce is Loose become one of the better backups? I missed that memo.


Popular sports topics

Last time I wrote “Strasburg calls out Harper for waiting so long to sign? Umm, pot meet kettle. Yes pot, that kettle is black, just like you.”

Now Strasburg needs TJ surgery…..KARMA BITCH.

Last time I wrote “Eli got his head cut up. Maybe he’ll learn to buckle his helmet up properly.” Same damn thing happened to a Steeler on Sunday. Maybe the players will figure it out.

Manny is going to be a ChiSox. If history holds he should do well for the remainder of the season. He usually plays lights out when he joins another team. Plus he is playing for another contract. Although I think he might be about ready to not try at all and just collect a small few million dollar contract for doing nothing. We’ll see what happens. Jug should be excited because the Sox need some help and this might be it. Maybe. It is better than nothing.



It is interesting ________

How different people react to not getting free tickets to football games.


We have 4 stadium seats here at work that the big boss gives away to people. This year everyone wants the Miami tickets…well 18 people want them and only one gets them. This was the same case last year with the USC tickets.

It is common knowledge that the golden boy gets the tickets. Whoever is big boss’s favorite at the time is going to get them. Last year it was tem. This year it is another guy. All these old people are pissed at the other guy now because they wanted the tickets. Now they are pretty much going to sabotage his career.

By the by this is why tem is no longer the golden boy. Not because I got sabotaged, but because I figured out that if you stay golden boy too long you get fired. Too much time in the sun will burn ya.

Anyway, grumpy old men bitching about not getting free football tickets is funny. A couple of them even promised them to their family. So now they have to go on StubHub and pay like $450 a ticket. Dumb As.s



OK that is enough for today. Enjoy, go comment and frolic. If you are new and reading this go comment. The comment section needs some more people commenting.

Monday, August 30, 2010

2010 College Footyball preview

Here’s how I see the 2010 CFB season ending up.

10) Boise State – Lots of hype for Boise this summer. They’re returning a shit ton of players from last year’s team, yes. They’re getting the highest preseason ranking that a non-BCS team has ever had, yes. They’re 49-4 in the last 5 seasons, yes. But they start the season against VT, in what is basically a home game for the Hokies. If Boise wins, ahik*, they probably run the table because their only other big game is at home against Oregon State. If they lose this game, ahik*, they drop out of the top 10 and will need a ton of help to get back up. My feeling is that they lose against VT, drop to about 7 or 8 in the polls, and then lose again to OSU at home 3 weeks later. They’ve been a nice story the last 3-4 years, but eventually nice stories come to an end.
Prediction: 11-2. Key games: 9/6 vs. VT, 9/25 vs. Oregon St

9) Notre Dame – This pick makes me throw up in my mouth. I hate ND as much as anyone. But Brian Kelly knows what the fuck he’s doing. ND has had talent, they just have had a shitty coaching staff. They still need help on defense, but Kelly’s offenses are typically among the best in the country. Do I think that ND is among the top 10 teams in the country? No. But the voters love them some Notre Dame, and if you give them any reason at all to vote for them, they will come out in droves to vote. The schedule isn’t that tough. They could be 5-0 going into the game at home against Pittsburgh. Then they have road games at Navy & USC in the 2nd half of the season. But USC is coached by Lane Kiffin, so they’ll suck. But they haven’t beaten USC in a while, so it will be a big win irregardless. Big bounce back year for ND this season. I hate to say it, but Kelly was a grate* hire by the Catholics.
Prediction: 10-3. Key games: 10/9 vs. Pitt, 10/23 @ Navy, 11/27 @ USC.

8) Pittsburgh – The stache knows how to recruit. He’s not the greatest coach in the world, but he can get the players. Add to that, the Big East is going to be kind of down a bit this year, and Pitt has a shot at running the table in conference. The defense is going to once again be the strong point of the team. RB Dion Lewis is one of the top 10 players in the country, and he’s only a sophomore. The 2nd half the of the schedule is going to be tough, but if they can make it through that undefeated or with 1 loss, ahik*, they’ll be in a BCS bowl.
Prediction: 10-3. Key games: 9/23 vs. Miami, 10/9 @ ND, 11/11 @ UConn, 11/26 vs. WaVa

7) Oregon – Obviously the #1 concern here is at QB. Massoli was a douchebag, so they kicked him off the team. UO runs that spread offense, and the 2 QBs they have battling for the spot are a pure pocket passer (5th year senior) and a guy who can run like the wind (soph). Either way, they’re gonna put up a shit ton of points once again. They’re returning 17 starters and could run away with the Pac-10 title. James, their RB, is a beast. The biggest question for them is their defense. They won’t have the best points against average, but they’ll do enough to let the offense win games.
Prediction: 11-2. Key games: 10/30 @ USC, 11/13 @ Cal, 12/4 @. Oregon State

6) Oklahoma – Stoops always has loads of talent in Norman. Finding a replacement for Bradtard* won’t be a problem this year, because they played almost all of last year w/o him. Landry Jones will have a big year for the Sooners. The defense is normally the strong suit for OU, and they will be again this season. I think the biggest key for OU is the awful season they had last year is going to give them more motivation to come out this year and dominate. Last year was the 3rd time that a Stoops coached OU team had single digit wins. The previous 2 times it happened, they came back and won the conference title the following year. So, um, yeah.
Prediction: 11-2. Key games: 9/25 @ Cincy, 10/2 vs. Texas, 11/27 @ OkSt

5) Florida – It’s hard to keep a team that just lost Jesus Christ in the top 5. But ol’ Urb has some boys who can play down there in Gainesville. Brantley steps in to replace the savior, and the good news for him is that he has arguably the best offensive line in the country. The defense lost 6 starters, but they have enough redonk ath-a-letes that they shouldn’t fall back too much from last year’s team. Big test at Tuscaloosa during the middle of the season will give us an idea of what to expect from FU. Outside of that game, the schedule is pretty favorable for the Gators.
Prediction: 12-2. Key games: 10/2 @ Alabama, 10/9 vs. LSU, 10/30 vs. UGA

4) Nebraska – The Black Shirts are back, baby! Bo Pelini has those hicks in Nebraska excited for the first time in a while. The biggest question mark for this team, as it has been for the last few years, is the quarterback. Zac Lee was pretty bad last year, and he’ll be on a short leash this year with the 2 youngsters backing him up being hungry for his job. They don’t have any stars in the backfield, but they have one of the best running games around with 3 guys who each have the talent to be the starter. The D lost Suh and their 2 star safeties from last year, but Pelini is a defense guy and he’ll find a way to fill those spots.
Prediction: 12-2. Key games: 10/7 @ Kansas St, 10/16 vs. Texas, 10/30 vs. Missouri

3) THE Ohio State – Fuck it I’m drinking the Kool-Aid. Terrelle Pryor is a beast. I don’t care if he’s got Johnny Damon’s arm. He showed me a lot against Oregon in the Rose Bowl in January. tOSU is going as far as Pryor takes them. The Vest let Pryor loose in the Rose Bowl, and he shined. I’m interested to see if he will open it up this season like he did when Troy Smith was an upperclassman, or if he’ll stick with the field position game. As is the theme for some of the other teams here, their schedule is favorable, with Wisconsin & Iowa being the only tough road games.
Prediction: 12-1. Key games: 9/11 vs. Miami, 10/16 @ Wisconsin, 11/20 @ Iowa

2) Virginia Tech – Ol’ skin graft is ready to make a run at the national title this year. He’s got the QB (Taylor), the RBs (Evans & Williams), and a solid OL. The defense lost 8 starters from last year (goddman pools!) but it seems to be that they always reload on D instead of rebuild. They’ve got a favorable schedule, with only big road games @ UNC & Miami. They should feast on what appears to be a down year for the ACC.
Prediction: 13-1. Key games: 9/6 vs. Boise St, 11/13 @ UNC, 11/20 @ Miami

1) Alabamer – Saban is the best college coach in the country. Yeah, I said it. He’s going to lead the Tide to back-to-back titles, the first time it’s happened since Nebraska did it in the mid-90s. They’ve got the best RB in the country, a star at WR in Julio Jones, and a senior QB who knows how to win games. The defense lost quite a bit, mostly in the backfield, so they’ll be pretty young on D. But guys love playing for Saban and he’ll get the most out of all the new guys.
Prediction: 13-1. Key games: 9/11 vs. Penn State, 10/2 vs. FU, 11/6 @ LSU

Rose Bowl: Oklahoma over Oregon
Fiesta Bowl: Nebraska over Boise St.
Sugar Bowl: FU over Pittsburgh
Orange Bowl: VT over ND
BCS Championship: Alabamer over tOSU

Friday, August 27, 2010

El Pad's Fantasy Football Rankings

Today's topic : Fantasy (not involving french maid outfits, semen spray bottles, burritos, Kim K, ninja stars, arabic scarves, corn muffins, vacuum hoses, hot light bulbs, feathers, skittles and a slip and slide) I mean football. Your rankings below.

Top 20 QB's:
1. Aaron Rodgers
2. Drew Brees
3. Peyton Manning
4. Tom Brady
5. Matt Schaub
6. Tony Romo
7. Phillip Rivers
8. Jay Cutler
9. Bert
10. Eli Manning
11. Joe Flacco
12. Kevin Kolb on the corn
13. Matt Ryan
14. McNizzle
15. Chad Henne
16. Vincent Young
17. Carson Palmer
18. Matt Stafford
19. Alex Smith
20. David Garrard

Top 40 RB's
1. Chris Johnson
2. Adrian Peterson
3. MJD
4. Ray Rice
5. Gore
6. SJax
7. Mike Turner
8. DeAngelo
9. Ryan Grant
10. Ced Benson
11. R. Matthews
12. Mendenhall
13. Beanie
14. Jamal Charles
15. Pierre
16. Shonn Greene
17. Jon Stewart
18. Knowshon
19. Addai
20. Forte
21. McCoy
22. Ricky Williams
23. Jacobs
24. Ronnie Brown
25. Felix
26. Forsett
27. Arian Foster
28. Jerome Harrison
29. Barber
30. Best
31. Bush, Reginald
32. Bush, Mike
33. Fred Jackson
34. Thomas Jones
35. Ahman Bradshaw
36. Portis
37. McFadden
38. CJ Spiller
39. Donald Brown
40. Sphroles

Top 50 WR
1. Andre Johnson
2. Randy Moss
3. Fitz
4. Wayne
5. Roddy White
6. Brandon Marhsall
7. Calvin Johnson
8. Steve Smith CAR
9. Miles Austin
10. DeSean
11. Greg Jennings
12. Colston
13. Steve Smith NYG
14. Mike Sims Walker
15. Boldin
16. Ochocinco
17. Crabstree
18. Hines Ward
19. Driver
20. Welker
21. Bowe
22. Garcon
23. Mike Wallace
24. Percy
25. Nicks
26. Housh
27. Braylon
28. Breaston
29. Maclin
30. Vincent Jackson
31. TO
32. Santana Moss
33. Meachem
34. Lee Evans
35. Johnny Knox
36. Dez
37. Derrick Mason
38. Aromashodu
39. Collie
40. Berrian
41. Kenny Britt
42. Kevin Walter
43. Louis Murphy
44. Devin Hester
45. Santonio
46. Naanee
47. Josh Morgan
48. Eddie Royal
49. Donnie Avery
50. Golden Tate

Top 20 Tight Ends
1. Gates
2. Clark
3. Vernon
4. Gonzo
5. Jermichael Finley
6. Celek
7. Witten
8. Cooley
9. Winslow
10. Vishante the Shank
11. Owen Daniels
12. Heath
13. Olson
14. Zach Miller
15. Boss
16. Keller
17. Shockey
18. Ben Watson
19. Aaron Hernandez
20. Carlson

Not ranking Defense and kickers. If you need that then don't play fantasy. Rankings are boring so here's who I love.

Love Gore, love Smith, love Vernon, love Crabtree, love the defense and fuck it i'd take the kicker too. Love the Niners this year, they win the West with 10 wins.

Love Johnny Knox but hate Hester but love Devin Aromashodu but hate Olson. Fucking Martz.

Love Greg Jennings and Jermchael Finley. Fucking black people. Jermichael? The hell kind of name is that. Anyway the bst QB to ever play in Green Bay will be Aaron Rodgers not Bert. The guy is electric. I'd even take Driver late on principle. James Jones too. Love the Packers this year, 13-3. Fuck Minnesota.

Chad Henne. At Michgan he had Braylon. Now he has Brandon. Who is much better than Braylon.

Flacco with Boldin and Stallworth should be nice. Rice is a beast play action will work well.

Fred Jackson is nasty. Love him.

Love Bradshaw, he's fully healed from last years injuries.

Love Arian Foster. He'll be the most productive back in Houston this year. Love Beanie Wells too, he'll take Hightowers job if he doesnt have it already.

Hate Shonn Greene just because I think Tomlinson will be taking Greene's red zone touches.

I love Mike Bush. Think he gets more points than McFadden. Love Mike Wallace, Hakeem Nicks, Naanee, Kenny Britt and Devin Thomas. The latter might finally put together a very good year with a real QB.

Hate DeSean Jackson and McCoy. Nothing to do with hating Philadelphia. Jackson is a risk because he's a home run guy and a home run guy only. McCoy, cmon, Reid throws the rock more than anyone. Especially in the red zone.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Is LOV slowly dying??

Say it isn't so! Zeke quit before, so we knew he would eventually do it again (s), but Blue? Blue doesn't quit...he fires people. Rev left long ago for Facebook. Soon Keef might be leaving for the police academy. Good luck Keef (ns), just don't give the Commandant a blow job at the podium like in the movie (ns). Did the LOV Summit kill LOV? All that jealousy?? There was talk about doing another one next year in Vegas for a weekend. We can get a villa, like in The Hangover. Who is in??

White Sox are talking about getting Manny. I'm for this...why not? The whole "Manny being Manny" thing won't be that big of a deal with Ozzie around. One thing I like about Kenny Williams and Ozzie is they always keep it interesting. Williams will sell if they are out of it, but he will go all in to win and as a fan I like that. I made this comment last weekend, but as we walked around the city of Chicago you wouldn't think there are two baseball teams in that city. We so so much Cubs hats/shirts/etc, but few Sox. 2005 Cubs fans...FACE!!

Chicago thoughts: Tem's running diary was suite, no way I'm going to try and re-create that. He hit all the high points, the order is not important. He did forget the bet with Mize about walking out of his yob, but its safe to say Mize won that one. All weekend long I would call Mize, "mEEz", and he would respond by calling me Mark. Everyone else called him Meiz. Bossman called him mEEz on Monday and you see how that went over.

I don't like United Airlines. For those who don't know, I got an automated call last Thursday afternoon at 4 saying my flight to Chicago the next morning had been cancelled and I have been rebooked for one on Saturday morning. Long story short, instead of flying out at 8:30 on Friday, I rebooked for one at 6 AM (UGH!). Good news is I got to drink with Aitch for 2 hours while we waited for Tem. United also wanted to charge me $95 for making said change when they cancelled the flight...YS,C? Southwest is the better!

Chicago was good times and I am up for another LOV summit. I'll even help plan, and I like the Vegas idea, or Nashville like mEEz mentioned.

Don't let LOV die...talk.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Blue is on a Yacht

Elin was SAS and angry and grieving now. Makes cents. I'd be pissed if cmelp fucked 40 guys.

MYSTERY: Military's top secret X-37B shuttle 'disappears' for two weeks...
Good job Military now that's top secret. Betcha the Jay Bush family wants some advice for thier Baked Beans.

Fucking Iran

Damon see through you O:FB and wants no part of it. Face.

Sidney Rice surgery news happened two weeks ago Favre wouldn't have come back. Serious.

Trying to convince Cmelp to allow me to name my son Maximus. Not working thus far.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Patience comes to those who wait

First part of this got deleted...at first I posted a mini riddle because I was busy typing out this long post...you need to go due south. you have an analog watch and the sun is out. how do you make sure you are going due south?


Alright, here we go. Running diary of the summit. I'm going to try to be non-biased here, but that is impossible. I am sure I will leave out some stupid things I did, partially because I forgot. Remember we were drunk. All times are made up, so I don't care what time zone you choose...


Friday:

8:45am - Alarm goes off. Tem ponders sleeping more but figures he will miss his 11am flight. Goddman aerodomes and their get here really early rules. Anyway, by this point H and Jug are either in Chicago or at least in route. No idear what Meiz was doing.

11am - tem's flight takes off. jug and H are definitely having beers now, probably on beer 2 or 3 by now. They have made the first official LOV meeting. Only they know what happened. It may have been a hug, maybe a kiss, maybe a handshake.


11:01am - tem's plane lands. tem texts jug and H to let him know. H orders tem a beer. Tem wants Miller lite. The bar is small so they don't have it. Bud Light it is.

11:14am - tem's plane gets put in the penalty box immediately after tem texts jug and aitch saying he is going to just ask to walk to the gate.

11:24am - tem deplanes...deboards?....tem gets off....of the plane. Walks to chilis to meet jug and H. Jug and H are probably 4 beers in at this point.

11:26 - tem sees a guy that might be jug and a guy that might be H. But they aren't sitting together. Guy really looks like Meiz, other guy doesn't really look like H. Jug has a beer, other guy doesn't. Tem decides to just text H and see where he is.

11:27 - turns out H was in the bathroom or something, after tem texts him he walks back to sit by jug. sees tem. handshakes break out. fat guy at the bar misses out. he could have been part of this.

11:30 - tem has a beer, compliments of H. it is an $8 bud light. It came in a nice plastic cup. FACE to LP.

11:35 - H tells jug that jug is the last person H expected to wear flip flops....what does that even mean? /lp

11:40 - traveling to the hotel. meiz is in route. this will time up well.

11:45 - hot chick sticks her ass in tem's face on train....her boyfriend sticks his in jug's face. jug got the worse end.

11:55 - we are the obnoxious people on the train. consistently making inside jokes about everyone else. we see a guy in a I heart NYC shirt, he is now LP. Cubs shirt, that's freak. Skinny asian guy in a Phillies shirt, that's rev and spiff's kid. OK we didn't see that last one.

12:45 - get to hotel to check in. they ask me if anyone else can ask for keys to the room. i tell them H. they ask me how to spell that.

12:50 - go to hotel rooms. somehow meiz and jug meet up on the elevator. H either showers now or later. time for hotel bar.

1:00 - hit the hotel bar. have many drinks. bartender hates us at first, but warms up to us later (common theme). H won her over by calling her a "bah-tendah." She tells us to go to Gioridanos or something for pizza. Because we asked her where to go.

2:15 - go to the pizza place. it is glorious. deep tish fantastic (see below). LP gets texts about this. he is amused no doubt. more beers are had at this place.



3:55 - time to go. waitress asks us if is ok if she takes the plates. tem tells her she'd have to ask the manager because the plates aren't ours. tem gets ::waitress stare:: (common theme)


4:30 - H needs a nap and maybe a shower. time to hit the hotel rooms for an hour or so break.

5:00 - back down to the hotel bar. H is still napping. We see a hooker and her dad. See below. Pictures are taken on my camera phone so they suck...deal with it.



7:00 - h wakes up from his long overdue nap, he was awake for about 40hrs straight. we decide to head to the zoo.



7:01 - zoo is crazy with mixed animal sex. we leave and go to find Cubs chick.

7:45 - take a cab to happy village. cubs chick excitment is at an all time high.

8:00 - cubs chick is bailing. H is not happy so he fights a chair.



8:15 - H wins the fight with the chair. More drinks are had. Hamms for everyone. WFT is Hamms? A beer. It was decent enough.


9:45 - time to get a cab ride somewhere. tem tells the cab driver to take us to a place near our hotel where meiz and h can get laid. cab driver laughs. takes us to Rush St. He knows.

10:00 finally decide on a bar at Rush St. umm, maybe Dublins. Many drinks are had.



11:00 - switch up bars. head to Pippens. Sit by a big black guy. Immediately he hates us, but then Meiz wins him over by talking about rap.

11:15 - guy almost punches meiz re: stance on kayne

11:25 - h and tem sing blaze of glory because that's what was on the radio. it was not good. tem is horrible.

11:45 - meiz gets the guys twitter info. meiz has jungle fever.

12:15 - time to leave bar. we head to the store and buy a case of miller lite and three tall boys for the road. not sure why H got shafted on the tall boys.



12:30 - back at the hotel. hit up the bar with our case of miller lite. tem decides we need ice. goes to room to get ice. finds no ice bucket. goes down and temrants the shit out of the manager about the ice bucket. manager tells tem it is in his room by the coffee maker. tem tells the manager that tem didn't sign up for a scavenger hunt so just get tem a bucket for his ice. in the meantime jug orders wings.

12:45 - time to leave the bar since meiz, h and jug were asked to leave because they brought in their own beer. tem is still yelling at management.

1:00 - up to the rooms. jug passes out. tem drinks 1/4 of a beer then fixes up the case of beer with ice. some beer goes in the trash can with ice, some in the bathroom trash can with ice, some in the extra bucket he got. meiz goes back to his room, finds passed out jug. the night is over.


Saturday:

10 am - meiz and jug are up. tem and h are not.

10:45am - finally tem and h mobilize.

11:00 - off to find food. we go to giordanos again, but a different one.

12:10 - tem is sluggish. people are worried. tem poops and feels better. still sluggish.

12:30 - off to wrigleyville.



1:00 - lots of freaking people down here. we walk around the park taking pictures. we are total tourists.

1:30 - settle on a bar. it is packed. cubs fans are everywhere. all the chicks wear the same thing, either a jersey or a blue tight shirt....so it isn't the same thing, got it. /as

2:15 - cubs game starts in 45 mins or something. bar clears out a bit. tem orders a diet pepsi. many people make fun of him.

2:25 - H tells the waitress he wants a bud light. Waitress makes fun of him. He tells her that she is getting no tip. She hates us. Later she warms up to us.

2:35 - diet pepsi works, tem is back. rally time. caffeine was a must. beers are had, girls are looked at. el pad is texted. so is keith. at this point tem is so far behind on drinking that he will never catch up. the other three put him to shame.

3:10 - More drinks in. tem decides to annoy meiz by cheering loudly for the cubs. it works. tem stops.

4:15 - Time to leave this bar. Game is in hand.

4:30 - hit up some diner. get some food...ok maybe this was after the bar with a batting cage.

5:15 - hit up some bar with a batting cage. rev makes his LOV Summit call. All 4 of us hit some slow pitch softballs.





7:00 - we learn that nomar garciaparra is pronounced nomah garciapahra. because the double arra at the end would just be "ahahaahahaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" and never end.

7:15 - time to go back to Rush St. Wrigleyville is full of Cubs fans and all meiz wants to do is clothesline one.

8:15 - long trip to rush st. ready for drinks. head to jakes first. have some beers, watch Da Bears a bit. Eat some hot ass wings. Meiz thought they were great. Tem's eyes watered. Jug finished 4 of them I think. Damn things were hot. Waitress there hated us, then warmed up to us.

9:15 - time for another bar. back to Dublins!

10:15 - H works his "i am from bahston, ain't my accent wicked wierd" game. it fails.

10:30 - shots and more drinks are had. except tem. he is not drinking much since he has an early flight. meiz, h and jug do not make too much fun of him. they are nice guys.






11:35 - bachlorette party arrives. H works his "i am from bahston, ain't my accent wicked wierd" game. it works.

12:00 - meiz moves this lady's scarf. people were stepping on it. she immediately gets pissed and searches her purse to see if meiz stole anything. big city people don't trust anyone.

1:30 - jug is pretty drunk. we better get him back to the hotel. we pull H away from the bachorlette party. he is not happy. he would have scored. this is probably true. we head outside and jug is marked by a chick. she wants him. he considers it. she also asked if me and jug were twins. i think she wanted a threeway.



1:50 - we escape from the lady and we stumble back to the hotel. on the way jug asks everyone he sees for a "HIGH FIVE" it works about 80% of the time....everytime. H joins in. Works for him too. Meiz does this all the time back home. it is common place for him.

2:00 - back to the hotel. time for sleep. meiz disagrees. he goes to millenium park for an all nighter.

Sunday:

7:25am - tem wakes up. showers. goes to the airport. decides to have breakfast. opens up the menu and discovers other people hate joe buck too.





I hope it shows up in the photo that someone wrote HOMO on his head.


1pm - tem lands in temhio. the others went out for more sunday fun. tem missed that.

Monday, August 23, 2010

I love the way you lie

There was something I really wanted to talk about in the post today but I totally forgot what it was about. I thought about it on Saturday and what I was going to say, and now I have no idear what it was. The lesson for you kids, don't get old.

I guess everyone made it out of Chicago ok. Cubs girl is a no-showing bitch, too. Ho!I hope tem's post tomorrow is basically a runny* diary of the entire weekend. NS

Sweet Lou quit yesterday. I'd make jokes about him quittin but I guess his mom's pretty sick so he gets a free pass. But the Cubs are awful. Explains why Cubs chick is awful.
I don't know why ou say shit like that. She doesn't even like sports at all. /mize

Am I the only one here who's been watching the 85 bachelor show? If so, fuck all ya'll bitches. It's a grate* show. That Rubi chick is smoking hot.

LOV MLB bets update... Cincy is 10 games ahead of the Mess & 13 games ahead of the Breer's. Which means that the Mess are also 3 games ahead of the Breer's. And the Braves are 11 games ahead of the Mess. Start figuring out how to ship that kielbasa, LP. Jinx

Footyball season is coming up on us pretty quickly. First NFL game is in 17 days. Does anyone here have a team that they root for? /aitch

I think some folks here watched that Arrested Development show, right? Me & cmk watched the pilot show on Netflix yesterday. It looks alright, I think we're gonna start the series. Is it a decent show?

Miners found alive, hiding in mine

Goddman softball was canceled last night. We got a shit ton of rain on Saturday night and apparently the fields were still unplayable on Sunday night. I guess they the grounds crew left the state because they didn't have their papers.

This coming weekend is gonna be suite. We've got an all day sales meeting down in Tucson on Friday. That part is not suite, but the suite part is that the meeting is over at 4:00ish (PST), and for the rest of the night it's an open bar. I've tolt* myself that I'm gonna lay low and just have a few so I can get up early on Saturday to drive back home, but 10 hours of free booze only happens once every blue moon. mmmmmmmmmmmm....Blue Moon. Then our $FNFL draft is on Sunday. So I'm looking forward to the weekend. Which means the rest of the week is going to be awful. Woe. I sound like mizaitch now.

Next week: NCAA footyball preview. Hold your breathe*.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Let's rap

I did it. I made a cock. I am legend.

Imagine if Tony Perez or Johnny Bench played in Great American Ballpark? Or Mike Schmidt played in CBP? They'd hit like 80 home runs. No?

Blame the BCS. That's what everyone is saying so I'm rolling with it. Stub your toe on the bed. Blame the BCS. Get your girlfriend pregnant, blame the BCS. You suck? Blame the BCS.

Clemens thinks we are dumb and it's so insulting. Really. It is.

Have fun in Chicago dickweeds. Hope nothing happens.

Dungy and Rex Ryan had a man to man talk. If they stood together Dungy on the left and Rex on the right they'd look like the number 10.

Again, I did it. I made a quarterback/centerfielder/point guard.

Look to my blog for a giant pair of baby nuts shortly.

I won't do a TOP 25 cuz keef is right. It's his parade I don't want to shit on it. I will do something though for college, just cuz I love it. Also maybe a fantasy Top 20 on each position even though you'll all ignore it and argue against it. It's the LOV way.

Astros race Taco Bell hot sauce packets? The fuck.

Nother NFL teaser? Ok sure. San Francisco will win the west. I know the QB situation is shaky but I believe. They are built like the Ravens but play not in Baltimore. They will be tough and win 10 games which will be enough. Eat it Leinart.

Combat boots. And beer.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Lordz of Chicago

I hate speaker phone for the most part. I know I mentioned this the other day, but its still true. I don't mind it if people are dialing in for a meeting or something like that. I don't like being on speaker phone at work because some people don't know the rules...like identifying other people in the room before you start talking. I also don't like how all sounds in the room are amplified when I'm trying to listen. Finsih what you are doing and call me back.

I think the term "overrated" is overrated. It gets used way too much. Sometimes things are fine just where they are rated. On Houston sports talk one of the DJs said that Aaron Brooks is overrated. Really? Where is he rated at? Your face is overrated.

Chicago

"It starts with a "C", ends with an "O", with a "Hicag" in the middle. First LOV meeting this weekend since TP stood up Lp last weekend. I think Lp secretly avoided him because he didn't want to be punched...that is how TP greats people he hasn't met before.

If you go to the 1:07 mark of this video...that is Mize and I sharing a room this weekend. SFW and not dirty...keef.

So aitch is the wild man leaving early in the morning and arriving at O'Hare at 7:45 AM. Tem and I get in at roughly the same time around 11, and I believe the plan is for the three of us to take the train downtown. Mize will already be on a train to downtown, I hope nothing happens to him.

H said that the fact that we are sharing rooms will make it difficult to bring chicks back. I told him to do it on a train Risky Business style.

The only thing I know for sure that we are doing is going to Wrigleyville on Saturday to hang out during the Cubs game. We'll wing it from there. Freak, you should come out. The only thing I know for sure that we are not doing is going to a zoo.

I hope we can keep our bus and cab expenses below the $450 mark set by the TP clan.

I wonder how much of that $450 was for tips. /H

We should take some pictures, maybe some flip cam videos (no sex tapes).

I hope tem gets the bedskirt he requested for his room.

O/U on how many "slap H in the face" jokes we make is around 51.5.

Decent chance that Mize makes us one of those Jager and roofie shots on Friday night. If that happens, then...

- H wakes up with no tooth
- tem wakes up temgaged to a stripper
- Mize wakes up with no pants on
- Jug wakes up on the roof...hopefully of the same hotel

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

HE'S BAAAAAACK

Bert's gonna fight...bert's gonna fight...oh my gosh people, bert is gonna fight



I'm already over the Carmelo Era. He has a superstar personality, but doesn't have a superstar game. He's the modern day 'nique, if 'nique didn't rebound. Honestly, I wish him luck, when he comes back to Denver to play, i'll stand up and cheer for him when he's introduced. I don't have any of those ill feelings that he's ruining any chance the nuggets had at winning a championship. They had their shot two years ago, and they blew it. 7 years, 7 playoff seasons, 6 first round exits, and a lot of fun to watch. So good luck young prince, I hope you enjoy the glitz and the glamour wherever you go. If you're not going to win a championship you may as well live near a mosque.

BGBlue1 got a tebow jersey. I'm not ashamed. The guy is a cult hero, like none other. Cmblue has family in Alabama, die hard Auburn fans...hate tebow, made fun of his crying reveled in his losing, and yet the word is that pretty much all of SEC country is rooting for him now that he's in the NFL. Cmblue's brother in law called me to talk about the broncos preseason game the other night, just to talk about Tebow. I didn't get it before, I get it now though, and it's very weird, unlike anything i've ever seen in sports before.

How come there was never a Happy Gilmore 2. Happy whoops it up on the PGA tour. Adam Sandler never makes sequels. Maybe because people think the first movies suck, i don't know. In Hollywood everyone makes sequels (not adam sandler though).

Too much talk about Rex Ryan cussing in Hard Knocks...yeah it was probably a little over the top, but who cares. Really, who? Tony Dungy? Ok, take your one superbowl and go home buddy, and you know the only reason you won that game is because you coached against a black head coach, who chose to play their 2nd best QB in the biggest game of the season. Maybe spend some more time rehabbing Mike Vick instead of telling me how a coach should talk. As Kod would say: "It's Rex Ryan's first amendment right to talk however he wants, freedom of speech...STAND DOWN, bitch. Ok, i added the bitch part, but I think it might fit.

I heard a guy on talk radio saying that the reason Tiger sucks is because as he walks up the fairway all that's running through his mind is "what do these people think about me"...i'm gonna say that's bullshit. I think he used to walk up the fairway looking for hot pieces of ass he could nail. And now, all he does is think about golf, he's overthinking. He needs to go play in the Dubai classic again, get a harem of women and relax.

ok that's about it for today. Tune in next week when blue talks about more stuff nobody cares about.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Bowling for Funions

OK let’s just get to it. The Tuesday post…

Random driving to work weird thought….ever look at the chick in the car next to you and then look at the chick in the car on the other side of you and then think, “wow, this wouldn’t be a bad threesome.”?

Also, how come I never see semi trucks with a big “Student Driver” sticker on them? I think it would be funny if some dude put one on his truck. I figure they go to some school and they drive around their school area. Just must not be any schools around here.

Did anyone ever answer my question as to why Indian (dot not feather) people wear polo shirts, khakis and long socks when they work out?


Whatever happened to ________ as hot chicks.

Alicia Silverstone and Reese Witherspoon

Alicia never really had a huge run of movies she carried, so maybe she never really reached the peak of Hollywood hot chick, but Reese definitely did. Then she got married had kids and divorced and BAM, gone.

I think that must be a problem for Hollywood women. Having kids cramps their style. Even Angelina slowed down and stopped showing boob when her kids were procured.

In any case, both of these chicks would have had a shot at the tem Mount Rushmore of hot chicks, but I think they’ll both fall short. Neither really had a long enough career of hot movies. Plus I don’t think either showed their boobs in a movie.

So, if Alicia or Reese are reading….show us your boobs and maybe you’ll make Mount Rushmore, there is still time….


Fantasy sports talk: ________

Jordan Shipley

He is going to be a good sleeper pick this year. Really late round. Great for a dynasty draft, or an auction draft. Pick him up for the minimum and watch him do OK this year. The Bengals see him as Wes Welker, but a Bengal. Which is good because the Bengal part is key.

Anyway, he’ll be in the slot a lot and run a ton of choice routes. OchoUno and OchoCinco will get lots of attention so Shipley will run amok. Amok I tell you.


Popular sports topics

Strasburg calls out Harper for waiting so long to sign? Umm, pot meet kettle. Yes pot, that kettle is black, just like you.

Eli got his head cut up. Maybe he’ll learn to buckle his helmet up properly. Drives me nuts when players don’t buckle those things up right. Helmets fly off of heads about once every other play. It should happen about once a game, tops. If you put it on right, it will stay on.


It is interesting ________

How different people react to death.


One of the people who used to manage the construction of one of our condo complexes died last night. His ex-wife called it in to tell us. Our receptionist is a mess even though she only met the guy like 5 times. And she hadn’t talked to him in like 2 years. Other people are in the “oh my, that’s terrible camp.” Some people are in the “how sad” camp. One person is in the “who the fuck was he?” camp. But she is in the bawling hysterically and probably can’t do her job today camp.

I actually knew the guy because I live in the condo complex he built. He was a cool dude. Wrecked his motorcycle awhile back (couple months) and broke a rib and punctured a lung. I figure the death was complications from that. It is terrible because he was a nice guy. RIP Mr. Condo builder.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Does this post make me look fat?

Man, LoV is a sack of shit lately. I giant bag of ground up, steamy shit. Remember when the weekends would get 200-300 comments? Well say good bye to those days. We'll probably never see rev again until the TCS.

I know there aren't many ladies here, so Beth, mize, &; freak this is for you. Stop asking us questions. It doesn't matter what the question is. Stop asking us. The answer is nerve* going to be what you're looking for, so just stop. cmk axes me "Do I look fat"? I say no. She says "yes I do". I say no you don't. She gives me a ::flank steak:: and I say, "you're 4 1/2 months pregnant. Obviously you're going to get bigger because of nature". X wrong answer. Now, I didn't say yeah you're fat. I used common knowledge to point out the obvious. But me saying no was wrong, and me being the scientist was wrong. So stop axing us questions.

So a stupid play golf rule prevented the PGA tourney from having 3 play golfers in the playoff. Dude is in an area that the spectators trampled on all weekend, but it's considered a "sand trap". Play golf rules are stupid sometimes.

The Reds are back in 1st place. Jinx. In terms of LoV bet's* the Reds are 8.5 games in front of the Mess and 12.5 games in front of the Breers.

The Tesus era has started in Denver. He's on pace for 60 preseason TDs in his career.

New season of softball started last night. I'm playing on 2 teams this season. The shitty team I was on is shittier than ever. During the 1st week, they have every team play to determine what level they'll be playing at. I think there are 6 league levels at this park. Low & high rookie, low and high A, and low &; high AA. The shitty team lost 31-4 so hopefully they'll stick us in low rookie league again. The other team is a little better. We won our classification game, against my other shitty team no less, 17-8. We kind of tanked it after the 1st inning to keep it close so we wouldn't get put into an upper league. This is boring me now, which means it bored you all about 50 words ago.

I'm tired. Go comment.

Friday, August 13, 2010

If you want dance. Dance.

All I know is I can totally be a sports talk radio host. Some of the shit they spew is crazy talk. Also on the short list of things Icould do well if I wasn't doing this job well :

Farmer, Pilot, Beekeeper, Paintball Instructor, Butcher, stock broker and that guy from Pawn Stars who knows shit about old weapons.

Funny as the Revis thing gets older the more I realize that despite getting paid alot of money to play football the Owners have ALL the leverage. Think about it. Revis aside, just about everyone is replaceable. Always another hungry football player in the shadows. I mean there isnt one cent on the Revis deal that's gteed money. He gets hurt, he's out. And if it's major then he's really fucked.

What do you think the "That" is in Metaloafs I'd Do Anything For Love song. He says he'd do ANYTHING for love but he just won't do that. What's that? Ass. He won't eat ass? Maybe THAT's what THAT is. Interesting.

Enabler. Dumb. In parenting they talk about not being an enabler to your kids habits. Just because I give her milk in the middle of the night doesnt mean I'm enabling her not to sleep. Her yelling for it makes me do it, I just want to back to fucking sleep. I hate psychotherapists.

Andy had fun yesterday at the golf tournament. Good for him, just don't understand how you can have fun following people around and watching them golf. Mind bottling*. COLOV.

Georgia State University everyone. New collitch sports program.

You know that's not even Krod's father in law. Common law wife. Herbero ain't married. If I were the owner I'd cut him. NS. I'm cold stone though*.

Next week your TOP 25 the way I see it, it's getting darker earlier = football.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Spot Start

OK, firing this up on one day rest. Call me Randy Johnson. Just don't say I look like him. Cause I don't. I look for like a bald guy. Like that Matt Holliday guy maybe. I can't remember. But yeah.


So fun question they like to ask interviewees at the place cgtif works...who would play you in a movie about you and you can't say yourself....my answer is a young Bruce Willis. If not him then my twin brother who doesn't exist.

By the by, I was supposed to be twins when I was born. But then there was only me. My first words right out of the womb were "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"

Anyway, that is why my name is Thomas, it is like Hebrew or something for twin. The other dude was supposed to be Timothy. I should start having birthday parties for both of us and collect double gifts.


My work computer is slower than a fat chick running down the first base line. Unless that fat chick is quick. Sometimes they are. It is wierd. I think in that case they aren't fat, they are just thick. Chicks don't like to be called thick either. Fluffy is out too. So is jolly. If there is a fat chick and you want to call her something I suggest you don't.

I posted the post and decided to edit it more. You know why? Because I am on fiiire.


Back to that interview question...what could they possibly hope to learn from that question? Is that question really the deciding factor for someone? Like you were neck and neck with another person, but you said Robert Downey would play you and the interviewer just didn't see that, so they went with the other person who said Shaggy from Scooby Doo would play him.

At work we are in a lull of things to do. That's how it does. Shit be seasonal you. Anyway, the couple things I was going to do they hired some other guy to do. That's great, now I have nothing to do. Good thing I am too cute to fire. I hope.

I wonder how Kod is doing on that MMA game on facebook? I bet he is bored with it already.


If you could either go back in time or forward in time which would you choose? If I could be immortal I'd choose back in time. It would be cool as heck to go back to like 1,000 BC and just hang out for a couple thousand years. But if there was no immortality I'd be heading to the future so I could see if they invented an immortality drug. As you can tell, I think immortality is cool. I need to get me some of that.

Our phones at work are broke. We can not call out. But people can call us. Sweet.

OK I am now bored enough with posting that I will hit publish again and be done with it.

Enjoy.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

From the Cheap Seats

cmBlue won the sweepstakes yesterday. She got a check in the mail for 3K, telling her that it was to cover the taxes on her winnings of 65K. It was a real check, very authentic. I was thinking how i'd have to split the 65K 8 ways with LoV. But then it dawned on me that this might be a scam. The check was very very real looking. So I tried to google the scam and nothing came up. I kept trying to figure out how they're scamming me. So I called them. I told them I was very excited to have won and couldn't wait to get my 65K. I told them that Meiz could really use the 8K share he was going to get, but I had a few questions.

First question to the guy: "Is this legit"

answer: "oh yes, absolutely, you're one of the lucky winners"

blue: "why did you send me only $3k"

answer: "that's for the taxes on the winnings, you just need to wire us that money back and we'll release your funds"

blue: "why would the taxes only be 4.5%? You should have sent me a check for roughly $25K for taxes"

answer: "the tax rate on sweepstakes is only 4.5% in the US"

blue: "if you're giving me the money for the taxes, don't I have to include that in my taxable winnings, so now I really have to pay tax on $68K"

answer: "Unfortunately, I can't give you tax advice, I just process the winnings"

blue: "ok, then why do I pay you the taxes, what assurance do I have that you will remit these taxes to the correct taxing agencies?"

answer: "umm, well, all I know is that in order for you to receive your $65K, you need to wire us back the taxes, and that will allow us to release payment"

blue: "I think i'll just handle the taxes on my own, I think I have enough deductions to cover the extra income, please send me my winnings"

answer: "the government won't let us release the funds until you prove you've paid your taxes"

blue: "this sounds kind of fishy to me, like mail fraud, I think i'll take this to the local authorities to see what they think"

answer: ::click::


Anyway...I was listening to a classic rock station this morning hoping to hear the eagles, but stupid Journey came on...they aren't classic anything except classic shit.

I decided that I like the Who the best of all classic rock bands, I hate zeppelin, I really hate the stones, and the Who is just pretty awesome. I compare them to John Elway, someone who's accomplishments get better the longer they've been out of the game.

Brandon Phillips ain't no bitch, at least he's making the series entertaining.

Fuck Mike Pelfrey...his line against the rockies this year 14innings, 0runs, everyone else he has an era of like 6.38.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Front Row Seats

OK let’s just get to it. The Tuesday post…

Anyone else have weird thoughts when driving into work? Like sometimes you are driving and you think “what would I do if a missile blew up that building over there?” Or “what would happen if a bomb blew up my workplace and I was the only person from work alive. I mean would I lose my job instantly? Would the relatives of the family that owns the company keep me around? How would this go down?” Umm, yeah me neither.


________ is totally underrated as a hot chick.

Amy Adams

She gets some credit, but I don’t think enough. I think it is because she tends to play the dopey looking chick that may or may not turn into a hot chick later in the movie. In Sunshine Cleaning (not a funny movie by the way) she plays a dopey chick that is a home wrecker but then falls for a one armed man. Oh, yeah spoiler I guess.

Speaking of home wreckers I think that the home wrecker mentality doesn’t get enough credit for contributing to the downfall of marriage. People are getting divorced more than ever. Part of it is that divorce is getting easy (costly for Tiger, but easy for most people), part of it is that the stigma of a divorce being bad (it definitely was a black mark years ago) has gone away. But the part nobody talks about is that other chicks and dudes are always getting involved with married people and wrecking things. People just don’t care if some person is married. They’ll go after them anyway. Fucking home wreckers, they are the worse. Go find some single person to have sex with. Quit messing up marriages. Marriage is apparently hard enough, the married people don’t need you helping mess things up.

Anyway, Amy Adams is hot. And she is that attainable looking kind of hot too, which is the best kind in an actress (IMO). So she isn’t getting inducted into Tem’s Mount Rushmore of Hot Chicks, but she is getting a shout out here. So umm yeah, you are hot Amy.


Fantasy sports talk: ________

The Worst Team Ever climbed out of the basement of the FMLB league. This should never have happened…actually that’s not true. The Worst Team Ever isn’t really that bad. Its manager is terrible. He probably should check the team more often and get rid of some DL people. FMLB takes too much work. It is like FNBA. You need to adjust the lineup too much. Give me FNFL any day. They only play once a week and that is really all I can handle in terms of setting up a fantasy team…I’m mad busy you.

Popular sports topic

Van Gundy says the Heat have a good shot at breaking the Bull’s record of 72 wins. In fact I think he said they will break it. Oh My God!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Wait, why is this news? Yeah, they do have a great shot at it and it certainly isn’t going out on a limb to say that they will break it. They have 2 of the top 5 players in the league on the same team. They play in the East which now just has Orlando I guess. Cleveland stinks now and Boston has Shaq, so they stink too. Hawks and Bucks will be good, but come on, who can really match up with the Heat? Nobody.

So some commentator beating everyone else to the punch and saying they will break the record is just genius on that commentator’s part. Saying what everyone else was thinking before anyone else says it makes you look smart. Now, saying they will go undefeated would be news….


Why do people always want ________?


You to have the same type of computer equipment that they do….


We have a guy here in the office that is constantly trying to get everyone to switch to a wireless keyboard and mouse. He says it is great. Apparently they are totally awesome. I don’t get it. I sit at my desk and work, I don’t do work away from my desk. Why do I need a wireless mouse? My current mouse can move all around my desk, the wire is long enough. The wire isn’t in the way, why would I spend $$$ on a wireless mouse that seems pointless to me. I get it for him, he travels, he does work all over the place. Not me. I have a laptop, but I only use it at work…well for work purposes I only use it at work. And when I am at work I only work at my desk.

This guy is crazy. He is the same guy that bikes about 300 miles every weekend. His balls can’t possibly work.

Monday, August 09, 2010

Tiger who?

Most of you will want to skip this first part...

UFC PPV this weekend was one of the best ones I've seen in a while. The first fight of the night was pretty good because it involved a fat guy (from here on we'll refer to him as "rev") getting the shit beat our of him but he wouldn't go down. I've nerve* seen a guy take the shots he took over a course of 15 minutes, but give him credit for standing there and taking it. But rev needs to learn that in a fight you also have to throw punches. Then Clay "The Spaz" Guida and Matt "Past His Last Leg" Hughes come up with fairly entertaining wins. Guida broke Two Years' jaw in the first round and Two Years foat* for 2 more rounds before he even quit. The worse* fight was probably the co-main event, even though it was fairly entertaining. But the Silver*-Sonnan fight was suite. Sonnan was in that ass, so to speak, for 4 1/2 rounds. He could have even had a couple of 10-8 rounds, he was so dominant. But I said at the time to my buddies that I didn't think Silva was hurt. And I won $30 from them when I said Silva would win at the beginning of the 5th round. I think Silva should give Sonnan a rematch right away and they need to have this fight again in December.

In between 2 of the matches, they needed to kill some time so they showed one of the prelim fights. It was with that one dude who's like 6'10 1/2" (from here on we'll refer to him as "PL"). He was getting his as. kicked in the first round, and his bottom lip looked like it was going to fall off. Then in the 2nd round, his opponent comes out and sticks his hand out, like most fighters do, for PL to tap it and then they'll start the round. But PL taps his hand and as he taps it, he throws a leg kick and ends up getting a few punches in right there and knocking the dude out. I thought it was a dick move by PL. Pun intended.

Tiger Woods played well. ETEO. I think mize could have golfed better than Tiger over the weekend. I didn't watch 1 minute of the tourney, though, so I couldn't tell you who won. I just know Tiger finished last or something. He sucks at golfing.

Goddman Bangles* game lookt* boring. I only saw maybe 30 seconds of it because of softball, but they sucked apparently. LP & blue, I'm gonna cancel those season record bets now. (S) But I did not see any of the HOF induction speeches. Was Emmitt's speech pretty suite?

Another near no-hitter on Sunday by someone on the Blue Jays. Goddman, giving up your first hit with 2 outs in the 9th inning has to be the worse. And Tampa has the worse batting order. They get no-hit or almost no-hit about once every other week it seems.

Goddman softball. Goddman mother fucking softball. We won the semifinal game 21-10. Then we end up losing 14-7 in the champyunship* game. So close. We should of* flew in LP to call the plays.

Friday, August 06, 2010

I talk you listen

We haven't talked much about Collitch* footyball lately. I can see everyone salivating for NFL but no college thirst? We all love college football so this has SAS me. You got a bunch of coaches heading into YEAR 3 which is big in the world of recruiting. As you know it's their guys they recruited so pretty much Year 3 is the year to start raising expectations, depending what program it is. I'm obviously looking at you Rich Rodriguez. Also you have Mike Sherman, Paul Johnson, Neuheisel, etc. Couple more. Also the realignment thing. Should be interesting. Lane Kiffin saga, also if they go undefeated they can't play in a bowl game so USC haters should root for that scenario.

I noticed Boise St. is returning 21 of the 22 players from last year's undefeated team. Crazy. What does Florida look like without Tebow?

Did Alabama lose too much defensive power to repeat?

Dion Lewis for Heisman?

Petrino year 3, jus sayin

Stanford, Andrew Luck, etc.

Landry Jones break out? Got some experience last year for sure.

Mike Riley believes in that program to turn down USC (interview but still), I like the Beavers.

Tons of other subplots to this upcoming season. Can hardly wait.

Something about 65 degrees, sun, heros, beers and football. The October comes and it's 50's and pot roasts and chilli's and Ocktoberfest beer and football. Fucking best time of the year.

NFL thoughts.......

I side with Revis. He outplayed his contract, give him another. Owners always have all the leverage anyway so it's not like Revis is "pulling one over on em".

Steelers are going to suck. Gonna be bold here but Browns might finish with a better record. I haven't peeped schedules yet so dont hold me two* it.

Also preview Sept 3rd post. Will have all the analysis you can handle.

Packers getting mad love for super bowl. Dangerous.

Rex Ryan breathes out of his ass.

Dolphins. AFC East champs. Book it.



Thursday, August 05, 2010

2 weeks until Chicago

Something like that right? Anyways I was playing ketchup this morning and I saw that Freak wanted an agenda. Well, we will get there around noon or one on Friday. There is a decent chance a drink or two will be consumed on Jug's ride in...and it will be like that all weekend. What else do you need to know? Maybe we can all pitch in a few bucks and mail Lp a six pack of Old Style.

When I first moved to Texas and got my yob at the NASA contractor my boss at the time invited me to be in his fantasy football league. It was a league he had been in for about 15 years or so and they never had a lot of turnover. I thought it was cool that bossman invited me in...he also paid me overtime while I was working on a project once, but that's another story. We have a league kickoff lunch every year and we had ours yesterday...now I'm officially pumped for fantasy football. I'm in three money leagues, 2 with those guys and one that I commish. They are all live drafts (2 snake and one auction), so that week before the season starts will be much fun!

The "I heart Keef" pic is disturbing...well done for Beth's name.

Jug is taking a work trip to DC next week, so I might need a spot start next Thursday. I'm taking my laptop...so I'll see what I can do. Maybe I'll write a post this weekend and schedule it for Thursday...that'll be interesting. I'm hoping to take in a Nats game and visit some friends while I'm there. My old boss from about 15 years ago now works at the Pentagon.

Origin of Obama's campaign strategy revealed

Hilarious Tosh.0 from the other day

My brother just randomly sent me a text message that said "There's no hope with dope!" Made me laugh.

Has anyone tried that Urban Gangs thing on MMA pro fighter? I refuse.

That's all I have this morning...

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Goodbye Bert v3.0

We hardly knew ya.




Kod is trying to pretend he doesn't care...and maybe he doesn't, it's not like bert was ever going to be Fran Tarkenton. I think it's fitting that he retired after a season ending interception in Green Bay, a season ending interception in NY, and a season ending (for all intensive purposes*) in Minneapolis. But, chances are he'll be back, so whatever

I watched Gordon Ramsey's new show "Masterchef" last night. It was like American Idol for chefs, right down to the nasty mean British guy. Problem is, American Idol early on had that hilarity of the awful singers. There might have been some awful cooks on the show, but i'll never know because I couldn't tastes* their food. That's why that show will not do well, although the food did look good, so maybe it will. It's basically "the next food network star" on Fox, with a limey brit who can be funny at times.

Btw-Gordon Ramsey has had to close a couple of his restaurants recently, maybe he should spend less time making television shows (hell's kitchen, kitchen nightmares, and masterchef) and more time actually looking after his kitchens. I don't doubt that he's a talented dude, and has way more personality than that douche Bobby Flay.

My new neighborhood has a bunch of alcoholic parents in it. Basically a couple nights a week 4 or 5 of the families get together and basically get trashed while their kids play together. I'm excited about this, the dudes seem pretty cool. It's the little things in life that make all the difference.

For guys who like boobs kinda sfw, kinda nsfw (no nudity)

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

It's wierd

I find it funny that seemingly 90% of the animal kingdom only does it doggie style, yet dogs were the ones to get the style named after them. Rhinos do it that way. Let's call it rhino style.

But I digress...onto the post.

Why are _________ better than _________?

Showers / baths.

I don’t get why baths have such a stigma as being bad. Nobody takes baths anymore. Probably because of the time it takes. Showers are quicker and seem to get you cleaner so I guess they are the run away winner. But I think baths have their place. After a long workout they are relaxing. After football practice players always hop in the hot tub or a cold tub. Cold tub was the worst. When the trainer told you that you needed to go into that thing you instantly got better. Cold tub is a tub filled with ice water. You could just sit on the edge and soak your feet/legs or sometimes you just had to get in.

Anyway, I went to the parade of homes last weekend, which is just touring a bunch of houses only Blue could afford. In there they had the fanciest showers I have ever seen. Multiple heads per shower. One shower had two huge heads and then about 8 little ones. It was like a hot tub shower. The bath tub they had was some tub you’d see in 17th century France. It had no jets or anything. It was so small that I figure I wouldn’t have been able to really get into it.

Baths are getting the shaft and I don’t really get why.


________ is totally underrated as a hot chick.

Elisabeth Shue.

She has some new movie coming out….Piranha 3D or something. The movie looks bad, but she looks good. She has looked good for like 20 years of movies. She was good looking in the Karate Kid, good looking in the Saint, etc etc. She doesn’t get enough credit for being pretty damn hot. Well that stops today. I am officially putting her on my Mount Rushmore of hot chicks. The worst thing about her is that she spells her name funny. I actually think that is why people don’t write about her a lot. They are afraid of spelling it wrong. Well I don’t care if I spelled it wrong. Here at LOV spelling is not one of our strong suits. So Elisabeth Shue, welcome to Tem’s Mount Rushmore of chicks. You are the first official member. In honor of this occasion I hope that Spiff digs up some naked photos of you and posts them. They shouldn’t be hard to find, you got naked in a movie or two.



Fantasy sports talk: ________

General knowledge.

It amazes me how much news coverage goes to fantasy football now. Within minutes of Moreno getting hurt I had an email telling me about it. I think that is really cool, but getting that notice so soon meant that there was a high chance of the news being blown out of proportion. The media never errs the other way. You never hear that Player X got carted off the field, but he’ll be back tomorrow. You always hear Player X got carted off and he’ll likely be out for 4-6 weeks. Truth is they have no idea how long he’ll be out, they are just pushing the story out as fast as possible so that they can get credit for being the first to publish it. Blue should do that for us. He can go down to Broncos camp and just write about everything. Some lineman is holding his side after practice, well he might have appendicitis and he might be out 2 weeks, publish it. A WR dropped a pass, well he might be getting LASIK soon and soon his drops might be a thing of the past.

Popular sports topic

Arod

The media is definitely shoving Arod down our throats. But I think this time they realized they were doing it and backed off. Either that or they got tired of waiting for him to hit number 600. His first few ABs were covered by tons of channels. FSN Ohio would tell me what Arod did in his AB. ESPN is still showing them all live, but the other stations have decided they don’t care. Or they figured out that the rest of the nation doesn’t care.

Look he got to 600 and he took steroids. That makes it less interesting. It would be like finding out that France just put a man on the moon then finding out he got there by hitching a ride on a US shuttle. It just isn’t the same as if he had done it himself. Sure it was tough to negotiate with the US and get on the shuttle. And it probably cost a lot of money, but that isn’t the part that is impressive. When you shortcut the impressive part people care less. Yep it is tough to hit a baseball. But it is far easier just to make contact than it is to drive it 400 feet. So when you are cheating on the ability to drive it 400 feet then people care less.

So eff you Arod. I don’t care how many homeruns you hit.


By the by I think it is easier to think of something to post when you have a regulated format. I’ll be posting something in this format for the next few of my posts to see how it goes.
OK I am done.

Monday, August 02, 2010

Monday's* are the worse*

I hate Mondays. You hate Mondays. Everyone hates Mondays. They should do away with Mondays.

This weekend was nice. Sub-100° weather in July/August is the better.

Carlos Silva almost died on the mound yesterday. Goddman thin air. Maybe he only does well in fat air.

Fooyball* is almost here. First game is Sunday. Don't even trip. My pre-preseason Super BowlTM prediction: Saints vs. Ravens

Don't forget about the Lions. /mize

Cmk &; I went to the movies to see Grown Ups on Saturday night, but it was sold out. WFT?? So we ended up going home and going to sleep. Don't get old. Or married.

Beth, your name & pic is I ♥ Keef

Ozzie is talking junk again. I don't mind Ozzie, normally, but this time I think he's going a little overboard. The immigration law isn't just for latinos. It's for anyone coming into the country illegally. Jeez.

Softball was suite tonight. Doubleheader, playing for the #1 seed in the playoffs that start next week. We tied the first game. Then in the 2nd game, we're down 10-0 going into the bottom of the 1st and end up winning 19-18 with a walkoff double to end the game. So #1 seed in the playoffs after not making the playoffs the last 17 seasons. So basically we'll be 1 & done.

Let the woe begin.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino