Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Blue's wednesdays posts

Let the madness begin. I'm not talking about NBA free agency that starts tonight at midnight, i'm talking about another event that took place last night at midnight. I'm talking about Eclipse, of the new moon saga....Are you team Edward or team Jacob? discuss in the comments. The showings of these movies is like shooting fish in the ice pond for the Teej. Think about it, a bunch of horny teenage girls all in one place, then throw in a bunch of sex-starved 30something women it's like teej died and went to Notre Dame.

Ok, Lebron prediction=Cleveland, Wade prediction=NY, Bosh Prediction=Chicago

write them down, throw away the key because those are das troofs.

the video below is one that me and TP and EP made. We let steve in because we had to have the token black guy, but this gives keef something to look forward too.

Dad Life

link to comments since blogger is being the gay

Tem sucks

::borat voice:: NOT!

Monday, June 28, 2010

When I was a kid...

Why do cartoons suck nowadays? I think this is colov, but Saturday morning TV is awful now. I remember when I was a kid, I'd get up bright and early on Saturday mornings and watch Scooby Doo, Pee Wee's Playhouse, Muppet Babies, Flintstone Kids, Smurfs, Alvin & the Chipmunks, The Real Ghostbusters, & Mighty Mouse. That's some good shit right there. I'd watch all those if they were still on TV right now (AHIK*). I woke up early on Saturday this weekend and turn on the TV and there's nothing but garbage on the tube. There are 1 brazilian more channels than we had when I was a kid and there are less good shows on Saturday mornings for kids. I don't get it. When did it go wrong? Like, what year did they decide "You know what, let's make kid shows on Saturday mornings just awful". So that's a big reason why I'm not big into cartoons now. The kids' ones suck, and I don't think the "adult" cartoons are that grate* at all. So there.

I think the same goes for sitcom television as well. The 80s had great sitcoms that our family would sit and watch every week. You know, before the parents decided to get divorced. Woe. But I digress. But we'd have dinner and then go into the family room and watch the same shows every week. Maybe I don't notice it now because I don't really have a family with kids yet, but it doesn't seem like there are any quality sitcoms that are on nowadays. All the shit that's on in the evening is either a reality show, a contest show like AI (which I guess would be considered a reality show), or some garbage shit like Ugly Betty. I know I'm sounding like an old fuck right now but shit just ain't the same.

Next on the hot tub time machine, remember what it was like to be able to go out and play in the neighborhood and not have to worry about people kidnapping you? Man, those were the good ol' days. I would leave the house at 10 in the morning and be out on my bike all day and be home in time for dinner at 6 or 7:00 and there were no worries at all for my mom. She knew that we were never in harms way. But now, that is a huge concern of mine. I'm probably going to be a way overprotective parent, which I guess isn't horrible. But I read that shit on the news all the time about kidnappings and that shit freaks me out.

So to recap: The 80s were >>>>> than today.

Shitty softball team won 19-5 last night. Last week when I didn't go, then won 21-2. So we're 3-1 now and the only loss was when we had to forfeit. Maybe they decided to make a lower division this season and didn't tell us. That's the only explanation.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Love the way you lie

John Wall is rich. And alot of other baby daddies are rich too. They play basketball. Most of them play it pretty well. I think the GM for the Blazers got fired.....(confirming)... yup the Blazer GM got fired BEFORE the draft. Farve is being silly and saying he wants to beat the Saints. Dummy. He had a shot to beat them in January. In fact, he (your not gonna believe this) but he threw the game changing interception (sound familiar)Farve needs some Ginko Biloba. Anyway you know Real Sports with the skinny Gumbel? That old guy Bernie is a frightening looking man. The Dallas Braden piece was lovely. Now for non sports items.

Was watching this Jaws documentary on the History channel the other night. And I kind of forgot how totally fucking awesome that Jaws film was. I understand the Shark was not life like but it was like 1979 or something like that. What'd you expect. Micheal Bay wasn't even born yet. Or he was born but didn't read CGI yet. Whatever. Point being that shit was classic. Needs to get more props. I want a Jaws T-shirt. 80's tee shirts are great.

Tem, are you telling me you wouldn't rock this? Or this?
I know Meiz would rock THIS.
Kidding Meiz. Here.
Todd Packer would NOT wear this.
Jug would so wear THIS.
I think Steve would wear this for multiple reasons.
There is a good chance that Kod would rock all of these.
Blue would love this one.
Found a shirt for Aitch.
Here is a shirt for Keef.
Another shirt for Keef.
I'd say this is a perfect shirt for beth.
Perfect shirt for Spiff. Even though I don't know what it means.
No shirt for Freak. But these will do.
USA USA USA Love it or leave it Zeke.
Because he loves 80's music, this is for Tyler.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

The 3rd Annual No Knowledge NBA Draft Lottery Mock

1. The Washington Wizards select John Wall, guard who didn't graduate from Kentucky.

I'm pretty much sick of Calipari. I know that really has no bearing on the John Wall pick, but it really makes me want to see Wall fail. He could be a fail wall. Kind of like the twitter fail whale, but more immobile. And with less birds trying to carry him.

2. The Philadelphia 76ers select Derrick Favors, forward who didn't graduate from Georgia Tech.

Favors was born in 19 freaking 91. That's just weird. Yeah, Turner could go here, but he and IggyPop don't seem like they would be too compatible. Someone said Favors measures out to be Dwight Howard. Not exactly sure what that means, but I think he's still Derrick Favors no matter how you measure him.

3. The New Jersey Nyets select Wesley Johnson, forward who didn't graduate from Syracuse.

Somewhere, a russian child is screaming. That probably has nothing to do with this pick, but you never know. Who wants a player who went to Iowa State? I don't think New York needs anymore cyclones. They're already scared enough as it is. Plus Wesley is a sucky name.

4. The Minnesota Timberwolves select Evan Turner, guard who didn't graduate from Ohio State.

As a proud member of the trillion man march, I am required by law to call Evan Turner "The Villain." The Villian gets the shaft and has to move to Minnesota. But he really will up the explosiveness of the Wolfies by being able to be on the same court as phantom Rubio. Wizards and Villains go well together. Something something Kevin Love.

5. The Sacramento Kings select Greg Monroe, forward who didn't graduate from Georgetown.

A perfect match. To the team I know the least about, goes the player I know the least about. I know two players on Sacramento, Tyreke Evans and Kevin Smith, no Martin. I think. Apparently Monroe is left-handed. Hopefully he's not a big of a douche as Lefty. Not really sure what else to say about this.

6. The Golden State Warriors select DeMarcus Cousins, center who didn't graduate from Kentucky.

Where else do you want a dysfunctional, tempermental big man to go than a team coached by Don Nelson? This is going to be awesome. I could see this bringing us the first fight between coach and player since PJ and Spreeeeeeeeee. People keep saying Cousins in the best player in the draft. Crazy people are always the best.

7. The Detriot Pistons select Al-Farouq Aminu, guard who didn't graduate from Wake Forest.

Al's parents must hate him. What a terrible name. Also, Joe Dumars secretly wants to be fired, so he's making as many awful moves as he can. Charlie and Gordon and Aminu, what a great combination. There is no way the Pistons aren't picking in the lottery again next year. So how about that long Wimbledon match?

8. The Los Angeles Clippers select Ed Davis, forward who didn't graduated from North Carolina.

Thank God this is halfway over. Ed is a 6-10, 227 lb, 20 year-old from Richmond, Virginia. If you see those qualifications and read hall-of-famer, there's probably something wrong with you. Team Edward will be a servicable nobody. Yay!

9. The Utah Jazz select Cole Aldrich, center who didn't graduate from Kansas.

Utah sets it's eyes on regaining the whitest team in the league title from the Pacers. They go a long way with this pick of a big, white stiff from Minnesota. He's slow, awkward and white. There's really nothing more you could ask of a pick like this. Someone find this team some chocolate rain.

10. The Indiana Pacers select Gordon Hayward, guard who didn't graduate from Butler.

I can't decide if I really want this to happen or not. On one hand, it would be a tremendous boost to the fan base who is all in love with this guy. On the other, last time the fan base clamored for a player, the organization went another direction and that turned out pretty well (see Steve Alford vs. Reggie Miller). Gordo definitely has the skills, but the Pacers really don't need another 3. On the reals, I think they take Udoh or trade out.

11. The New Orleans Hornets select Epke Udoh, foward who didn't graduate from Baylor.

Great defender and whatnot. Has the wingspan to play center. Has two vowels in his first name. Chris Paul needs some help. I wonder where Udoh's name is from. He's from Oklahoma, but that name isn't hick enough for that state. He's 23 and was only a junior. Someone was not a very good student.

12. The Memphis No-Grizzlies-In-Sight select Luke Babbitt, forward who didn't graduate from Nevada.

For the purpose of this blurb, I'm going to pretend his last name is Rabbit. Because I can. Rabbit was also the name of Eminem's character in 8 mile. Maybe. I remember Rabbit being said as a name in that Lose Yourself song. Keith can probably confirm or deny since he loves him some em. Basketball-y stuff: Luke sucks on defense. He's white. Sometimes when he shoots, the ball doesn't touch the rim and he airballs it.

13. The Toronto Raptors select Patrick Patterson, forward who didn't graduate from Kentucky.

So, Pat is 6-8 and a power forward. I don't think that will work well in the NBA. And he doesn't really have the shot to be a 3. But the Raptors are losing Bosh anyway, so who cares? It's not like this team is going to matter. All things aside, it's not like there's anyone better on the board, might as well take someone who's been somewhat productive in college.

14. The Houston Rockets select Xavier Henry, guard who didn't graduate from Kansas.

It's only fitting that the guy who doesn't know how to pronounce his own named be taken with the last lottery pick. Why is that fitting, you might ask. Because stupid people are always last, that's why. Maybe he can be as big a letdown as Tracy McGrady. At least Henry will probably get out of the first round once in his life. Landon Donovan rules!

Please come back next year for more crappy analysis of the NBA Draft Lottery section.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

It's GO time (the prediction version)

USA USA USA....Prediction: they thump algeria 3-nil and move on to lose in the first round of the elimination round....or being "robbed" gives them the "us against the world" (which is actually true if you think about it) attitude and they cruise through and they give everyone a shitburger and win the whole damn thing. Maybe they can get a life size picture of that referee and each time they win they take off a piece of his clothing...i don't know, it's what grass fairies do.

Term that blue hates "re-forecast". This term does not exist. It's a fallacy. You can forecast, and then when you adjust your forecast it's just another forecast, not a re-forecast. People that use this term look stupid...yes I'm talking to you CFO of blue's company. Stop saying that, people laugh at you and it shows you had a shitty education from a non-trad commuter school. Prediction:

The jaguars are making a plea to people to buy season tickets...or tickets...or anything. They don't want another season full of blackouts. Maybe they should have drafted Tebow then, morons. Maybe you don't draft a guy with the 10th pick overall, who is projected to go in the late 2nd round. Maybe you don't have a coach who has a mexican last name and probably doesn't have his papers. Or maybe it's italian...or irish, but I hate him. Prediction: Jags move to New Jersey and become the third team to play at the meadowlands.

When I was a kid I always got "the meadowlands" and "the netherlands" mixed up. Prediction: there won't be tulips at the new giants stadium, but I do enjoy the idea of everyone at the games wearing wooden clogs.

Speaking of clogs, worst fucking idea in history...."crocs". Somehow this company went public and somebody made a shit ton of money off of a crappy idea. They are local company so everyone must love them. Prediction: They will "re-forecast" earnings to show how shitty they are and their stock will be worth .38 by the end of the year.

I have a lot of hate in me today. Prediction: this post will end badly

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Go go Gadget Boots

So the NBA draft is this week. I think. I'll just go ahead and do a draft preview.

No, not really, I won't. That's Freak's thing.

I saw some frozen General Tsaos Chicken in the grocery store yesterday. I picked some up. We'll see how that goes.

Can you tell that I don't know what to write about today? During the week I always think of fun things to write about, but on Tuesday morning I always forget them. I tried writing the stuff down during the week, but I was too lazy for that.

In FMLB news Beer Man Here lost to the Worst Team Ever. Beer Man Here has to change his name to "I suck the Worst" for infinity days. Nobody should lose to that team.

In FPGA news I just can't keep up with changing my people around over the weekend. Too much work. No time for that ish.

The baseball college world series is going on, but I have no clue what round. I can't follow that stuff. It is too complicated.

I think we are just going to have to deal with the fact that this post sucks. Freak's draft preview will be great though.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Is it fall yet?

I'm tired of summer already. It's been mild so far, I guess, but I'm done with it now. Bring on fall, and football, and the World Series, and football, and football.

US Open wasn't that grate* to watch on Sunday. Saturday was suite because Tiger & Dustin Johnson were posting good scores. But noone wanted it on Sunday. Tiger couldn't hit a fairway or a putt. Phil was missing every putt. Johnson was +7 thru 7, finished with an 82. Jesus, the leprechaun that won shot +3 for the day. Just wasn't very entertaining to watch on TV. It's a shame because I always look forward to watching the final round of the US Open each year.

Cmk is watching this show on E! with that Holly chick from Playboy. Seriously, I guess anyone can get their own show now, huh? What could she possibly have to offer that hasn't been on TV yet? She has a nice body but her face is beat.

I skipt* softball tonight because it's dad's day and we were over at my in-laws' house for dinner. Normally I would leave early and go to my game, but this team is so bad that I don't mind skipping it. I bet tem's coed team could beat our team. That's a NS.

On Saturday night we watched some show on E! about the 15 most shocking acts of violence. It included things like Columbine, Cho, the Nebraska mall shooting, etc. I like watching these shows because the stories interest me, but I have a problem with them "ranking" them, from 15 down to #1. Columbine was #2 and the VT shootings was ranked #1, so basically they're saying "You win, Cho. Congrats, you're the best murderer". Huge problem with that.

I ate too much cake tonight. I feel like I'm gonna throw up right now.

We saw the SNL with Betty White on Saturday. I didn't see it the first time around, and it wasn't bad. I always like when they do the "Really" skit during the weekend update. And BW had some funny moments. I don't like that fat black guy on the show, though. He's not really funny and they try to hard to use him as a "hard" guy because he's black. TWSS

Starting today I'm going to be less of an as. Not gonna totally go away from it, but will be less of one. NS

Friday, June 18, 2010

Did Ron-Ron just thank his therapist?

Game 7's are awesome. That game was awesome. I'm so tired watching it. Ugly game, bad shooting, free throws like Memphis but it's nice to see O:FB reaching it's pinnacle. This could be the top boys. Great run. Pierce is kind of gangsta. I know he is a nappy vagina but he does alot of basketball things well. Can't stand the Ostrich scream. Lamar Odom died then came back to life. Artest kept the Lakers in the game early otherwise that would have been a blowout. You notice Vujacic fixes his eyebrows before making free throws. Fucking Euro trash, Wanted to see if the Lakers lost if Adam Morrison was going to lay down on the court in his suit and cry. By the way for those not on Twitter, Mike Jordan's son has a message for you all:


NO ONE...And I mean NO ONE should EVER com par kobe Bryant to my dad an say that he is anywhere near close to my dad He's jagging this game


Soccer is starting to suck me, might pick a EPL team to follow. Does MLS suck? Please advice.

What is your idea of a great bar? Beer selection? Decor? Prices? Location? Games? Camraderie/Neighborhood? Chick ratios? Music? Sports? If a bar had all these things it's be the most awesome bar ever right? Anyone else like Fruit Stripe gum?

The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria, I'll do you in the but while your drinking Sangria.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

USA, USA, USA!!!!!!!

If you don't know...now you know. We aren't really going to Atlanta. Right now, those of you who didn't know are probably saying "I knew it!". That's easy to say after the fact. CMEP knew since she is on Facebook. We thought it would be funny to see Lp's and Steve's reaction the most. So hopefully no one booked any flights to Atlanta. I think the biggest loser in this whole thing is Beth since she won't be able to hang out with us. So Chicago is still on...that is real. I have a flight and a hotel reservation to prove it. Everyone is still welcome!

So no way Rev hit that ball...I think that much has been established. The form was phenominal though and I expect he will be receiving offers from Tem or Keef's softball teams in the near future.

I don't like that guy with the big fro on TUF. If he quit in a fight he shouldn't be talking any shit.

Breaking news...THE Temhio State University has decided to stay in the Big Tem.

This Saturday I am going here for this concert.

I heard a radio station mention this the other day. When bands have been around for awhile and start replacing band members, at what point should they stop using the original band's name? Is it all tied into the lead singer? Van Halen seemed to pull it off changing their lead singer a couple of times. Journey without Steve Perry? Kod wouldn't be singing that at red lights, that's for damn sure!

I'm feeling a little patriotic tonight...country music video of the week is Angel Flight by Radney Foster.

USA, USA, USA!!!!!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

the most interesting post in the world

Karate Kid remake could be decent. You have to get over the fact that it can't compare to the original. Karate Kid had some very memorable lines, the popular ones "sweep the leg", "no mercy", "get him a body bag.....yeaaaaaaaaaaah", "wax on wax off". I hope Jackie Chan has some good lines. As I was watching the original this weekend, there was another line that doesn't get used enough. In the lockerroom before the tournament, Dutch says to Danielson "points or no points, you're dead meat"...i'm using that one in my everyday life now.

Of course the A-team movie opened over this last weekend as well, so two of my favorite shows/movies from the 80's had remakes that opened the same weekend. Good thing for me that I don't waste money at the theatre* anymore. Tem gives the movie his approval, which means its somewhere between the hangover and grease2. You figure out which is the higher rating in Tem's system.

Kobe and the Lakers stuck out their jaw and showed massive underbite last night. Celtics have won all 4 game 7's between the two teams. Of course 4 of those 4 games were played before most of the guys on both teams could walk, or were born, so that stat has absolutely nothing to do with the game tomorrow night. Only 4 teams have ever lost game 7 in the finals at home...again, the lakers were one of them, to the Celtics in like 1964, so again, who gives a shit.

Izzo staying at Michigan State, probably smart, if Lebron doesn't re-sign (which he won't) then Michigan State might be a better team next year than the cavs.

World Cup is going on right now. Goals are being scored and nobody has been shot...yet. I don't get why people get so crazy into soccer...maybe because it's so boring that you can easily drink lots of alcohol and not miss a beat with the action. It's like the NASCAR of Europe, only if in NASCAR drivers fake crashed all the time.

It's grilling season, I don't have a recipe for you, but just go grill something.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Let's Talk About

First of all, I was going to do an "I love" post to rival Keith's "I hate" post. But I got to like 3 things and decided it was a dumb idea. I will say this. I love titties. On girls. I love girl's titties. Legal age girls. Also under 50, generally. I mean Vanna White is still kickin' it at over 50 and I'd hit that, but she is an exception. I'll make the rule under 50 and just deal with having to eliminate Vanna...sorry Vanna we were thisclose.

Now, let's talk about Joe Morgan. Isn't it time Sunday Night Baseball just put him out to the pasture? That dude just says whatever he wants and hopes that something sticks. He is the me of baseball broadcasting. Actually he is worse. Anyway, I was watching the Chicago vs Chicago game on Sunday. Floyd and Lilly are both pitching no-nos late into the game. Lilly is sitting on the bench with someone right next to him and someone on front of him. Cue Joe Morgan. "See that's how it always is with pitchers when they have a no hitter late. They sit somewhere by themselves and nobody goes near them." I'm not sure how close he wants people to sit by each other but Lilly and Lee could have held hands. Then they showed Lilly again and his catcher was sitting next to him on the other side. Also Morgan was talking about Koufax's perfect game and said he remembered it well, Ernie Banks was one of the last outs. Well Ernie batted 5th that game, I don't think that makes him one of the last outs. He was an 8th inning out I guess, maybe that counts. I just think Joe was just saying shit to say shit.

Now let's talk about my idea for how news would be run if I were in charge of the country. Each company would get 5hrs a day where they could broadcast news. That's it 5hrs. Companies like ABC, CBC, NBC, FOX would have to split some of that time with their local affiliates. Sucks for them. And it is each company that gets it too. So ESPN can't run sportscenter for 5hrs on ESPN then again for 5 more on ESPN 2. They get 5 hours across all their stations. And I'd catch you if you made a new company to try to get around the rules. There'd be no cheating. There is too much news on and the media just makes up stories so they have something to say. For example, yesterday Texas was going to the Pac 10, the SEC and staying in the Big 12. All three things reported by different ESPN outlets in the same day. Basically they had no fucking clue. Example two: this oil spill. The governors of Florida and Alabama have come on TV begging tourists to come visit. You know why? The media is telling everyone that the spill is all up on the beaches. Well it isn't. Tourism is down like 75% in the Alabama coastal region for no reason other than the media is just making shit up. Oh no, 50 turtles found dead in Alabama! Umm Alabama is a big state. If I spread 50 turtles over their beaches you wouldn't even notice them.

Let's talk about O:FB. I think the final straw in O:FB was when the Bruins lost their 3-0 series lead and lost game seven after being up 3-0 in the game. That was the final O:FB blow. Boston is now free to recover. Of course if the Celts win we will have to institute a new O:FB. Why? Because if the Celts win we all know the Celts fans will be insufferable again. Or I guess continue to be insufferable. That's why O:FB exists. To humble New England. Seriously I would sell New England, CM included, back to the English for like 3 Thomas English Muffins and nekkid pictures of Beckham's wife....I believe both of those things are readily available too, but I don't care.

Let's talk about El Tardo's running diaries. They could be funny, I don't know. I can't print them out. That's dumb.

Alright, I have temranted or temblinged enough. I am going to go put deodorant on and get dressed (that's right, I wrote this in my towel after taking a shower) and go to work. I shaved and brushed my teeth before my shower so I don't need to do that.

Monday, June 14, 2010

I hate

First of all, I hate Boston
I hate everything around Boston
I hate New York City Metro Area
I hate Philadelphia
I hate Los Angeles
I hate Michigan
I hate Cleveland
I hate all teams around those cities
I hate that Toddlers & Tiaras show that cmk watches
I hate that South Africa is thinking about banning those vulva trumpet things
I hate that ESPN & MLBN can't stop talking about Strasburg for 1 minute
I hate Kendry Morales
I hate softball night on this team
I hate that this immigration law is still being protested
I hate that athletes can't go to a strip club without getting in trouble. Jesus, act like you've seen tits before
I hate people that can't back out of a parking spot. They're 15 feet away from the car behind them but they act like they're 2" away, then they have to pull forward, back up, pull forward, back up, etc etc etc. FUCK!
I hate that rappers always gotta have beef
I hate 2-3-2 setups in Finals' series. The team with home court advantage gets that taken away for 1 game, basically. Give the higher seed the 5th game at home. Who cares if there's another day off. Don't schedule 4 days off in between games in the 1st round
I hate that mize doesn't know what a suicide squeeze is
I hate when I can't figure out a simple electrical issue in my house, and have to axe someone I work with and then feel like an idiot when I find out how to do it
I hate that you all can't see the picture of rev playing softball. He's swinging at the ball, but looking about 10 feet in front of the ball. It's the better
I hate getting sunburn
I hate monsoon season
I hate when people visit and bring their pets with them
I hate one of my yobs*. Not the nighttime one
I hate when I have to take a shit after I shower in the morning
I hate that Lady Antebellum song
I hate when my dog jumps up on the bed when I'm asleep and steps on my nads
I hate that our garage is only clean enough to park 1 car in it
I hate when pitchers have a no hitter going into the 9th and the announcers break out the jinx montage of videos of past no-nos of the current year or most recent of that team
I hate when guys get a hit to break up a no hitter in the 9th inning
I hate that I'm not a MLB player or umpire
I hate Star Wars, obviously
I hate people that dress up as movie characters when they go to the movie or go to a convention
I hate that I can't go to the LoV union in Atlanta
I hate time limits. Why you gotta rush me?
Aaaaanddddddd IIIIIIIIIII, hate everything about youuuuuuuuu (s)

Go comment

Friday, June 11, 2010

The Grass Fairies Play Now

I might get caught up in the World Cup despite it being soccer. I like to chant USA, USA, USA and do so every opportunity that I get. With that said the USA soccer team is not winning the World Cup. But, they will have some success and it will be fun for awhile. Italy will not repeat so my hood will be quiet this time come July 11th. The round of 16 will include:

Mexico, France, Argentina, Nigeria, US, England, Germany, Ghana, Netherlands, Cameroon, Italy, Paraguay, Brazil, Ivory Coast, Spain and Chile.

Suite 16 : Meheeco over Nigeria, US over Ghana, Nether over Paraguay, Brazil over Chile
Germany over England, Argentina over France, Titaly* over Cameroon, Ivory Coast over Spain.

Quarters : US over Meheeco, Brazil over Nether, Argentina over Germany, Italy over IC

Semis : Brazil over US, Argentina over Italy

Final : Argentina over Brazil, 3rd place game US over Titaly*
( The Argentina coach is a pshycho.)

Now back to your regular scheduled programming. Fuck Strasburg. Serious fuck that kid. And Bryce Harper. Douchebags. And fuck Philly. China sucks. Salt and pepper can rap. What's rap? /Steve. I don't think I can go to Hotlanta in August. Shame too, I'm fun and I've been wanting to slapbox aitch for quite sometime now. Could have also smoked Meiz in bball and raced Jug around the block 80 times. I have no challenge for tem. But I'll beat him in whatever he is good at. Fucking annihilate you. You know those Real Housewives shows? I like how all the dudes made thier riches in real estate and I like how all of that has been wiped out. Their lives are a fraud. Cue the Uncle Joey. I try telling cmep this but she watches the shows anyway. Vince Lombardi has a birthday today. Nelson Mandela great granddaughter died in a car crash. That's the sad news of the day. Big Baby was hollering all game and the Celtics won to tie the series. Fun. When IS IT OVER!!!!! Roethlisberger: 'I was young, immature' -- so i fondled woman whenever the fuck i wanted I'M NEIL DIAMOND, I'LL SMACK YOU IN THE MOUTH. That fat jew retard Katz when on SC last night and was like I know I said he wasn't going to coach in the NBA but it appears he is know. Thanks Mort. These guys are like weatherman now. The Costas proposal to Strasburg is real, they even set a date. (well costas set the date strasburg has no clue)

Thursday, June 10, 2010


The Rev said...
It's going 7.

The Flyers might lose, but it won't be at home.

June 8, 2010 8:17 PM

I'll be honest, this is really the first year that I've been into hockey. For me it started in the Olympics. After the gold medal game I started watching some of the Blackhawks games when I could and I just got hooked. I watched more hockey than basketball throughout the regular season and the playoffs. It helps when your team is doing really well when you start watching a sport, so I was spoiled there. I think its awesome that the Blackhawks grabbed the cup this year. I'm pretty pumped although I haven't experienced the 47 year drought; I still enjoyed this one! I am also happy I won't have to read Rev's live blogging on Facebook during these games.

OK, so big news...no more Chicago trip for LOV. The venue has been changed to ATLANTA!!!! I'm not going to lie...tits was the major motivation for this change. Who would believe otherwise? Luckily I was the only one to make my flight reservation, and I was able to change it without any problem. I'll be flying into Atlanta right at noon. I'm hoping I can be at the hotel around 2 or so. The room I got is like the one before...2 double beds and a rollaway (for beth...s). The room has a handicapped accessible bathroom for steve as well.


Country music video of the week is Smoke Rings in the Dark by Gary Allen Good jam! dedicated to mize

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Reno Sucks

So everyone is saying that this Strasburg kid is legit. 14Ks in a debut is ok. Now if he could only pitch against the pirates every game. Talk to me when he does this against a real team like the Mets. Lakers won last night. Derek Fisher owned the Celtics. When asked about the game, c's assistant tom thibideaux said "Frustration" (that's for jug). Bill Simmons is a douche, and I don't care if his dad has a suite mustache, he's a douche too. Apple revealed their new iphone which is the same one that everybody already knew about. Won't mean shit if they don't start offering the phone from multiple carriers. I don't understand toll roads, or maybe we should have more toll roads, i'm not a scientist so i've never done the research. I wonder how you get into the toll bridge game. I've seen a few places that could use bridges, does that mean that if I just go ahead and build one, I can charge people to use it? Obama was in a whoomp there it is video. Don't deny the facts that he's the coolest president since Jefferson. You know TJ was down with the black folk. (Obamer is at the 1:00 mark playing dominoes with his Easy-E hat on)

i'm gonna bring that phrase back into popularity. You want something from me well "whoomp there it is"

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Keno Sucks

You know how things that used to be cool fade away but then come back? Like bellbottoms and jean jackets? I wonder why powdered wigs never made a comeback. People wore the shit out of those in the 1700s, but haven't since. The founding fathers constantly wore that stuff to every event and then bam, nobody wore them. I wonder when they faded out of style. Who was the first rich dude to say screw it, this wig looks dumb? I bet wikipedia knows the answer but I am not going to look. I am going to let it be a mystery. Maybe Scooby Doo will show up to solve it.

For the record I always wanted to bang Daphne. And Daisy Duke. And Larry's girlfriend on Perfect Strangers. And Mokey the fraggle. OK not Mokey.

Strasburg vs The Pirates tonight. I'll take a normal 2 day* bet with someone. I say he takes the loss and gives up 4 ER or more. First person to accept the terms is my betting partner. If he wins the "Pirates are just like a AAA team" jokes will be flying around the intraweb machine.

I am not down with the best player in the MLB draft being named Bryce.

UFC talk: I am taking Franklin over Liddel. I think Chuckie has too many miles on him. Ace has a lot too though. Should be a good fight, but I doubt I will be shelling out the bucks for it. Will have to see what else is going on.

Mega jinx has been imposed by every media outlet on the Lakers. As soon as that Phil is like 49-0 when being up 1-0 in the series stat came out you knew OF:B was not going strong. Apparently it is now O:FLA.....side note, does the colon go after the 'o'?

Blackhawks can close out the Flyers tonight. Rev will be sad if the Flyers lose, but unbearable if they win. Good thing he never comes around here anymore.

In Soccer news Woody Harrelson made a goal in some charity event. Also there is a big tournament going on and it apparently smells.

That's all I got now. So go get your wig and bring the powdered wig back.

Monday, June 07, 2010

Runny* diary

Per LP's request, here's a running diary of the MTV Movie Awards...

We’re coming to you live, on tape delay, from the Valley of the Sun for tonight’s running diary of the MTV Movie Awards on DVR. All times are PST.

7:55 – Betty White is in the crowd. She’s older than everyone else in the crowd…combined
7:56 – Some stupid spoof with Tom Cruise, Will Smiff and his son Lil Romeo*, and some Twilight douchebags. We’re off to a grate* start for the evening.
8:00 – The host for the evening is Aziz Ansari. Are we all sure he’s not on the terrorist list? /LP
8:02 – YAYYYY, more lame spoofs, these ones involving rev’s brother in law. Remember back when MTV was watchable? Those were the good ol’ days. This shit is awful.
8:07 – Our host is wearing a white jacket, black pants, bow tie ensemble. I think he’s wearing it so it distracts you from noticing that his monologue is terrible. Like, really, like, bad. And he’s like saying like every like other word.
8:10 – The stars of Grown Ups come out to present the first award. I think this might be a decent movie. That would be a cool group to party with, too. Except for Chris Rock. /blue
8:12 – First award of the night goes to the chick from Twilight, who by the way, is not at all cute. This show has squeezed a lifetime of suck into 17 minutes so far.
8:15 – I like the Chuck Barkley is Taco Bell’s Whore era
8:16 – Is anyone else tired of Jonah Hill?
8:20 – Ken Jeong is on stage in a tiger outfit that is almost unleashing his own dong. LP has it on pause right now.
8:22 – Cruise is on stage now as cmk drops a “Um, you’re not cool anymore” comment. Then J-Lo comes out as cmk says “Um, you aren’t either”. If this was 1997, this would be the best show eVar!
8:29 – World premiere of a new Harry Potter trailer. Looks like this is the movie where Harry starts a bingo club and collects social security.
8:30 – Kiss cam comes out and shows Shaun White in his traditional Indian leather vest, sitting next to some super hot chick. It was as weird as it sounds. Best kiss scene goes to, um, Twilight. I don’t understand the Twilight era. And I’m proud of that.
8:32 – The hockey game ended about 45 minutes ago, but the Blackhawks just scored again.
8:35 – Katy Perry, live. Yum. Not #1 in Maxim’s top 100 yum. But I digress. She seems like she’s probably a weird, goofy chick. But she’s hot, so it’s ok.
8:40 – I’ve been trying to explain the blog to cmk, and I think she understands it. She doesn’t really “get it”, but she understands. If that makes sense.
8:45 – Betty White, Bradley Cooper, & Scarlett Johansson(sp?) are on stage. If I had to play the F(uck)M(arry)K(ill) game here, I’d probably F ScaJo, M Betty, and K Cooper. The 3 of them are on stage to present the “We realize you’ve had a bad 6 months so we’re going to give you an award” award to Sandra Bullock.
8:50 – Sandy & Scarlett kiss. It wasn’t as hot as you probably imagine. Bummer
8:53 – Ken Jeong wins the WFT Award. It was a well-deserved award. /LP
8:55 – Aziz is performing as RKelly. Without the piss and 15 year old. And without the humor that was intended.
8:57 - Blackhawks scored again
9:00 – Samuel L, Eva Mendez, and The Rock are on stage. I’d F Eva, M Samuel L, and K Dwayne. Will Ferrell & Marky Mark are hanging from cables from the rafters and Marky Mark dropped and F bomb that didn’t get bleeped. That was fun. They give the award for the Best Villain, which goes to some dude from Harry Potter. Jesus Chris*, do awards only go to fantasy movies now? Cripes. Marky drops an S bomb that sneaks through. Lots of fines for MTV tonight.
9:01 – We’re gonna end this right here because cmk wants to watch Dateline NBC. I’m cool with that because this show was fucking awful. RIP MTV

And finally, here is Eminem's Without Me, performed by you'res* truly. Cmk did the video, and turnt* the camera sideways because she thought that you could rotate the video like you can for images. I thought it was hilarity.
Fuck Eminem /mize

Friday, June 04, 2010

PJ's bulls and Lakers are 47-0 when winning game 1

Batting Average .284
Home Runs 630
RBI's 1,836
Runs 1,662
Hits 2,781

13 time All-Star, 10 gold Gloves, 11 time Silver Slugger Award winner, MVP 1997, 3 time HR Derby Champ and MLB's All Century Team. Not to mention some of the flyest kicks I ever did rock. I loved his appearance on The Simpsons. His MVP year was stupendous. .304, 56, 147. He was my favorite non-Met baseball player growing up and still my favorite non-Met baseball player. I have over 50 rookie cards of KGJ, I have an autogrpah ball and program, I have his starting lineup figurine and I have the button from 1996 (Griffey for President Nike promo with Penny Hardaway). Everyone will say imagine if he didn't get hurt what numbers he could have reached and sure I can look at it that way too. Or I can say man, all those injuries he sustained have to prove he was clean right? Because if he wasn't I'd be crushed. His swing was the suitest swing any player ever produced. It was like a swooping ray of sunshine. His bat speed was faster than the Batmobile. Remember the slide in 1995 that got Buck Showalter fired? Remember the catch along the Yankee Stadium wall? Piece out Ken. We'll miss you and thanks. Hopefully Trey will turn out to be just like you.

When guys like that retire it makes me want to pull out all my baseball cards and reminisce. But then I start thinking of my dad and it makes me all sad like a faggot so I don't. Woe. I have some weird shit too, like Wonder bread (which I hate) used to distribute baseball cards. I have like 11 Wonder bread sets. Go figure. And I have Norman Rockwell baseball posters from Kelloggs. Those were cool, I want to frame them and put them in my little boys room. If I have a little boy. Do you know how happy I am going to be if it's a boy. I don't think youz know. Sports was so much better, it seems, when I was growing up compared to now. But probably not. HD is pretty fucking suite. But I don't like my hero's roided up. I prefer the greenies era or the coked up linebackers. Everyone is so fucking huge now. Wally Backman was one of my favorite players. Scrappy lil bastard. I was a Chris Sabo fan. Mostly because he wore those spec goggles and since I was a kid who wore glasses and played sports I had to wear those too. It was like we had a bond. I imitated every batting stance, I was batting stance guy before there was batting stance guy. I remember going to my grandmas house and drawing a strike zone on the building next to their house (fire burned it out but the back wall stood for years, east new york, mad rough you) and I would pitch for hours. And go through a lineup 4 times. Making the plays off the wall. Obsessed with baseball. Still am. And in case you're wondering fuck replay. I'm against it. Remember this? That's it I'm done.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Frank Drebin

New Tosh.0 was hilarity tonight. The Larping guy on the web redemption kind of looked like aitch. His standup on comedy central is pretty good too...check it out.

I don't want to deal with that shit.

LeBron watch: He's still on the Cavs. I have a bad feeling that this NBA off season is going to be months of hype with very little movement. Sports talk is almost unbearable with the constant analysis of every word LeBron says, what he should say, and what he didn't say. Mize, if you have some game tape of you playing ball in high school, you might be able to get yourself invited to that free agent summitt with LeBron and the gang.

So everyone saw the Tigers pitcher get screwed out of the perfect game. Seriously? The ump in my coed softball league could have got that call right from home plate. I feel bad for the pitcher, but props to the ump for owning up to it and apologizing. Also, add him to your death pool.

Chicago trip is the weekend of 8/21...I'll be making my flight reservations this week and looking for a good hotel. I plan on flying in on Friday afternoon and heading out Sunday. Mize...pack granola bars. So far its Mize, H, myself, with maybes being Kod, Tem, and Freak. I'm still waiting on Freak's signed permission slip.

Country music video of the week is Rich O'Toole. This guy played at the Steamboat music festival I went to back in January. He actually hung out with us in our condo and played a few acoustic songs for us...good times!

and done

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Sit on it Potsy

I had a dream that I saw Bill Clinton in Home Depot. Not sure why he was there and he didn't have any secret service or anything around him. Maybe he was there to get supplies to help people of some devestating natural disaster in a 3rd world country. By the way, the term "3rd world country" is no longer politically correct, they are called "developing nations" now. Maybe it's because the 3rd world were countries that were not capitalists and not socialist/communists, hence the 3rd world status. Since capitalism is dead and communism is dead, maybe we're all 3rd world countries now.

Speaking of capitalism, I think it was Tem who talked about an interesting idea where Lebron could join the knicks and then buy shares of MSG basically increasing his net worth by being awesome. I took it a step further, what if he decided to buy a shitload of shares the day before he announced he was signing with the Knicks? Wouldn't there be a huge jump in the price of those shares? Although, that's pretty much the definition of insider trading, he might just be dumb enough to do that. And then we would have the Lebron in prison years...which would be nice. Either way, I'm buying some MSG stock (currently 21.01), lets just keep an eye on it.

I keep seeing the commercials for the A-team movie...and even though I know i'm probably stupid for thinking this, it might not suck. Especially if you're a fan of the A-team. Bradley Cooper is alright, and Oskar Schindler as Hannibal is pretty good. Not sure how Jessica Biel ties into the story unless they're remaking the last years of the show when it sucked.

Rockies beat the Giants, the curse of Barry Bonds lives on.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

ATL was nice

ATL was a good time. Didn't see Beth, but had lots of fun. Went Striper fishing on some lake. It was fun. We didn't catch much though. Some guys were shooting some video on another boat and weren't catching anything. So they saw us catching a fish and filmed us. Bro-in law of cgtif reeled one in and then his buddy caught one too. While this was hapening tem was pissing off of the back of the boat. I hope that makes their video.

At one point during the weekend someone said they lost something, so tem said, its probably in the pool. Then tem was tolt that they don't have a pool. Awkward moment.

Sis of cgtif just had a baby. The thing is like 4 weeks old. Sis of cgtif had to breast feed that thing like every three hours. I ran out of ways to avoid these moments. It was wierd sitting next to some chick I just met whipping them out and feeding something.

I don't know what happened in sports even though I watched UFC and the basketball and some hockey.

I also watched some tennis but knew who won ahead of time. NBC insisted on showing me matches that had finished like 14 hours ago.

I do know it is a Boston-LA series. I saw enough commercials for it to know that it is on. I also watched a lot of Seinfeld episodes.

OK this is going to have to be enough for today. It is the first day of the week and I was on vacation. I am surprised I posted at all.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"

"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem

"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug

"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino

"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H

"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino

"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino