Friday, May 28, 2010

DID YOU PLUG THE HOLE YET, DADDY?' --- TWSS

Well that is the last time I try to use my blackberry to schedule a post. I swear I wrote stuff. I wrote alot of stuff too. I wanna act all pissed but I'm really not. Anyway it's funs watching the Mets pound that lil hippie twat waffle Cole Hammels into the ground. 27 innings, 27 zero's. O:FP is upon us. Trust me. SAH-WEEP. No I can forget about the past two collapses. ESS. Lakers won, it was close. Cardiac Artest!! You say corny I say genius. I wrote about jobs. I will re-hash in comments. Blackberrys are no IPADs.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Chicago...let's do this!

Still getting used to the posting routine.

So the Super Bowl is going to NJ. I was just giving Lp shit the other day, I really have no problem with the Super Bowl being there. I actually hope it opens the door for other cold weather cities to get the Super Bowl. The reaction on sports talk radio has been mostly negative from what I’ve heard, but that’s not surprising. These sports talk pussies will be traveling to the game and don’t want to be cold. I’ve always enjoyed the conference championship games more anyways. True fans are there and the games are usually more exciting. Lp…my advice to you is don’t go to the Super Bowl up there unless you get a free ticket. Why? You will pay WAY too much money to go to game that the Giants will probably not be playing in just so you can say you have been to one. In reality you will probably have more fun either hosting or going to a Super Bowl party with friends and family.

So the MLB draft is on June 7th. I only mention that because the Nationals have the first pick again, and they will pick Bryce Harper…who has been called the LeBron James of baseball. The kid left high school two years early, got his GED and has been playing at the juco level. The Nats are building a decent little team there. I’m anxious to see how long it takes this kid to work his way through the minors.

OK, so this Chicago thing is going to happen…even if I’m the only one there. The weekend is TBD at this time, but everyone is invited. As soon as I nail down a weekend for my softball team’s beach trip we’ll figure one out that works. I’m planning on flying in on Friday evening and staying two nights. We could have an agenda that may include a personal finance briefing by Lp, an AARP presentation by TP, a yob fair for Mize and H, and bridge safety by me.

Country music video of the week is by the Randy Rogers Band. Go see them tem…do it, do it.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

what ever happened to...

Predictability, the milkman, the paper boy, evening TV?

EA did not win dancing with the stars. She made some speech about how this show made her feel better and get her life back together. So to recap...nude video taping adored by millions online not ok, wearing slutty clothes and dry humping on national TV, OK.

Caput Mundi (actually east rutherford, NJ) won the rights to the superbowl in 2014. How do you spend $1.4Billion (with a B) on a stadium and not have a retractable roof? If you think this will be better than other superbowls, you're wrong. Although, maybe now Denver can get the superbowl, but they won't.

Why do you care what I have to say, you don't. But I have the microphone and you will listen to every damn word I have to say.

Had a discussion with my Dad about the Winter Olympics coming to Denver. I thought it was a cool idea, because then I don't have to travel to go to the olympics. Then we started talking about it, and it sounds like a huge waste of money (taxpayer money, so EP doesn't care).

This is going on in the little town that I live in this week. It's kind of a big deal. I won't go because i'm not wasting an entire day to watch a bunch of geriatrics hit a tiny ball. But I am playing for the first time this season tomorrow, hookey day.

Suns beat the Lakers, O:FB would be complete if Orlando came back from a 3-0 deficit to beat the Celtics (AHIIK). How awesome would that be, both the Bruins and the Celtics losing a playoff series after leading 3-0, in the same season.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Sleepy

It is 8:15am and I am still dead tired. I slept for 8hrs but still I am tired. Maybe I sleep too much. Maybe I have chronic fatigue syndrome. Is that still around or did they finally figure out some doctor made it up? I figure some whiny chick was always asking her doctor why she felt tired. She wouldn't stop asking so the doctor made up chronic fatigue. I also think that is how the meniscus was invented.


So on saturday I went to the Lion's Den (porn store). It was your usual saturday of hitting the batting cages then going to a porn store. Anyway, porn be expensive you. It was like 50 bucks per movie. At least the good ones that said they were winners of AVN awards. Not sure what AVN is, but I assume it is their Oscars. They had some hilarious spoof porns. They had Seinfeld, Scrubs, Cosby Show, Dukes of Hazard. It was cool. I almost got the Dukes of Hazard one but it was 59.99. It did have over 4 hours of action though. Also Alexis Texas was in it. My buddy bought some Lions Den special DVD, it was only 30 bucks and is just a bunch of cut scenes from different movies. The guy behind the counter said it was a good deal. Anyway, the trip got me thinking about what could be the most inappropriate plot for a porn. Right now I am thinking something along the lines of recently widowed 65yr old lady adopts twin 8yr old girls from an Orphanage. I bet El Pad would watch that though.


Well OF:B is still alive I guess. Orlando had a few things go for them and they won. 1) Dwight Howard played a lot of minutes and shot the ball well 2)Coach RJ figured out that JJ Redick > Vince Carter and 3) Rondo shot like crap. I doubt anyone thinks the Magic are coming back to win this series, but I guess it was nice to see them not get swept. Its only a matter of time though before the refs hand games to Boston and LA. That is a dream finals for Stern and Co.


French Open is going on now. I don't even know who is in it really. But I say Federer and a Williams win. Is Nadal still hurt? Was he ever hurt? I don't know. By the by, is tennis a sport or a game?


I forgot to cut my hair last night. Probably because I was at work until 8:30pm. I hate late afternoon meetings that just drag on into the night.


No raise yet. Meiz still is blocking it. Thanks.


Keith, think of my name now, no way the Pirates win this series. xnij.


I'll toss out some UFC picks in the comments. Right now I need to shower.

Go Comment.

Monday, May 24, 2010

There's new TOTPM

It doesn't bother mize, though.

Here's what happened this weekend.

Interleague play. I'm SAS that the National League won more games this go-around. It looks like the Mess are really putting it together and are ready to make a run for the pennant.

The Magic are awful. No idear how they swept through the first 2 rounds, unless Charlotte & the Hawks are really just that bad. Orlando has no playmakers on offense and they have 1 defender.

The Suns showed that they can shoot well at home. I'm not a Suns fan but I hate the Lakers so it was good to see the PHX win 1. I don't think they'll win another game, though. Celtics & Lakers final again. Yay. ETEO. I hate the NBA

In NHL news (that's hockey), the Jughawks are in the finals and will probably play Philly. I hate Philly, so I guess if I watcht* hockey I'd root for Chicago. cmk says I have to root for them since it's Chicago. Whatever

We were watching TV on Sunday and they showed the interview that Marv Albert had with Obamer. Obamer made the comment about LeBron would be a good fit for the Bulls and cmk says "LEBRON SIGNED WITH CHICAGO????" and I gave her a ::LIF::

RIP Lima Time. 37 is way too young to have a heart attack

Your people, Jug. Who knew that Griffey could throw down like that. Fuck Deadspin

This global warming thing is getting out of hand. It was 79° here on Sunday. Fuck you, Al Gore. ETEO

Friday, May 21, 2010

Sex crimes are the best crimes

Could you imagine if professional wrestling and baseball got married. Like as a sport. Hulk Hogan as the manager, putting everyone on a strict vitamin and prayer program. Everytime Macho Man Randy Savage does something good he lets out a OH YEEEEAHHH. The Ultimate Warrior tracking down a ball in centerfield than shaking the outfield fence like a gorilla. The Undertaker as the closer. How fucking terrifying would that be. Right before he throws strike three he does the cut throat gesture. Holy shit who wouldn't buy this concept as a video game. It's like Blitz for football awhile back but with baseball. And with WWE. Something Vince McMahon can make money on as well as MLB. I'm a fucking genius. You can have like Ric Flair as the announcer because WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO never fucking gets old. John Cena swipes a bag then does the "you can't see me" face palm to the catcher. Suite brawls would ensue, the bullpens would empty. Imagine seeing the Legion of Doom running in from the bullpen. And the other bullpen emptying with The Rockers or The Hart Foundation. Arguing with the ump can end in you being ejected but the ump being put in the cross face chicken before you go. Or the sharpshooter. A take out slide on the SS on a double play would instead be a Stone Cold Stunner. This is an awesome idea. The more I type it out the better it sounds. I hate people that brush they teeth at work. You ain't better than me bitch. I brush at night. I miss Bo Jackson. This WWE baseball game has to happen. EEEEE. PPPPP. SPORTS. It's IN MY MIND. The A-Team looks ok. Don't you hate it when you take a shower then you have to take a shit? That's why I need a bade' (SP?). You know the giant sized sink in the bathroom where rich bitches douche their twat? I'm gonna stop here.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Thursdish: Blogger sucks!!!

I have no idea if this will actually post because blogger sucked ass tonight.

Its official, my posting streak is over. It was a good run, except the exact opposite. Sometimes I disappeared for months at a time, so maybe the streak doesn't really count. Either way, I've already typed more characters on this post than what H averaged on his posts, so I feel pretty good about that. I plan to do a cribs post one of these days, as soon as everyone moves out of my house. Maybe I'll do a work cribs too, so you can see the old as hell government building I work in...Thanks Obama!

The NBA playoffs have not sucked me, they have just sucked. This is really my first year watching the NHL playoffs from the beginning, but they have been much better! I'm actually starting to enjoy watching hockey more than basketball. It is definitely a more exciting game, and the closer games are more exciting at the end of the game. I'd rather see a team pull their goalie and be desperate to score than watch 20 minutes worth of guys shooting free throws while running 38 seconds off the clock...but that's just me. The hockey play by play guys are way better too. However, it looks like it will be a Boston/LA finals. Despite O:FB, I'll be pulling for Boston for the simple fact that I don't want to see Kobe get another ring. I'm a hater.

I don't think its an official post by Jug if I didn't tell you that this weekend I am going here to visit a friend of mine. I'm actually heading there Saturday morning, I have a beer pong party to attend on Friday night.

As promised, below is the country music video of the week. It got late and the embedding thing wasn't working for me...so maybe next week. D- for sure. CoLOV, but most of the country I listen to is not mainstream, so that's what I'll be posting for awhile. This is Cross Canadian Ragweed. They were the headliner at the Music Festival/Ski Trip I went on in January. Tem, when you come down here to visit, schedule it around one of these outdoor music festivals...they are bad ass! NS

Alabama

As a bonus and to go along with Kod's "who smokes and who doesn't" question, here is another one.

Boys From Oklahoma

P.S. Driod phones have porn apps...lots of porn apps.

Talk...

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

My bum is on the Swedish

Went and saw this guy at comedy works this past weekend. I'm sure most of you think he's awful, but I don't care what you think. One of the funniest comedians of our generation, he was Borat before Borat, only funnier. Everyone has their flaws, and mine is that I ♥ Tom Green.

Jug's is that he's destroyed 2 different space shuttles (and the train thing)
Beth likes cock (sometimes)
Meiz wears glasses (why don't you have lasik)
Tem is afraid of microwaves (and ruins women's lives)
Steve is black (and likes Duke, odd combo)
EP doesn't eat "white stuff" (yet likes cock)
Keith has six dogs (he's like crazy cat lady)
Kod likes cock (sometimes)
TP designed the oil well that broke in the gulf (not to mention his homeless problem)
Spiff...well I can't think of anything
Zeke quits
Deluxe wears glasses (why don't you have lasik)
Tyler died (except on FB)
Rev eats a lot (he ate Tyler)

So anyway, that was a poor excuse at taking shots. SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS...everybody

Hanley is just being Hanley. Maybe it's something about the laid back atmosphere of latin america is why guys like Manny and Hanley are lazy...i'd be lazy too if I was making millions of dollars, hell i'm lazy now.

Celtics pretty much put the magic away last night. Good to hear another 3 months of how great the C's are from Simmons. (maybe he can write an addendum to his book for the paperback version)

Kobe is going to make $30M next year...that may or may not be true, but if he wins champyunship #5 that's a pretty good accomplishment, even if I hate him.

Watch Modern Family, that show is pure comedy gold...and the "normal" family was loosely based on me and cmblue..(s) but kinda (ns).

ok go comment

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Pirates

Not sure how they aren't like 0 for the season. I guess that's baseball. 6 games under .500 but they clearly suck. Maybe next year.


Apparently the Lakers decided that the best way to win a game was to shoot the ball and make the shot. They shot dang near 60% last night. Kobe was on fire. He was showing LeBron how it is done. LeBron should take some notes on how to show up. Actually that's not really fair to LeBron, in his final game he had a triple double, so that was nice. Of course it still seemed like he should have done better. I guess it is tough to be King James. Poor guy. ETEO.


Anyone ever look at the birds sitting on the light posts on the interstate and wonder if they are secret cameras put there by the police? I do. I swear I see the same damn bird on the same damn post every day. It just stares down at the cars.


Can people just buy testosterone? How's that work? Do you inject that into the blood or just take it Flintstones vitamin style? What's it do? Make you angry all the time? Isn't it what they give chicks who want to have a sex change?


I bet you there is at least twice as many men to chick sex changes as there is chick to dude.


Report: USC is paying Kiffin $4 million a year....wow that is a lot for a dude who hasn't really proven himself. I guess that 5-15 NFL record is really something. I guess a shitty NFL coach worked out well there before so it should work again.


I think Meiz called in and cancelled my raise. No word on it from my boss. I think I was tricked.


Shia LaBeouf keeps ripping on his movies. After you say like 4 of your movies are terrible shouldn't you start to think that maybe its you?


I don't have much steam today. I think it is all the TPS. It is busy yo.


Did keef quit at the HD yet?


Beth, like 10 more days then I'll be in town.


Saw Brooks and Dunn and Jason Aldean in concert on Sunday. I was entertained. It doesn't take much to entertain me though. Also I went to a minor league baseball game on Saturday. Had this exchange with the lady behind the counter.

tem - Large miller lite and a brutus dog please (brutus dogs are what they call hotdogs anywhere in columbus)

lady - sure if you have ID

tem - oh i don't have an ID on me so forget the hot dog and just give me the beer.

lady - blank stare

lady - stank face

tem - i'm kidding here is my id. (I had it in my hand the whole time)

lady - this is probably a fake, i gotta run it through the system.



I got home from cgtifs at 7am this morning. I was going to take a nap before work, but instead I wrote this post. I bet we all wish I had just slept.

Monday, May 17, 2010

I might effort

There was a zorse race this weekend. The Derby favorite won, the Derby winner finished like 8th, and neither of them are going to race at Belmont in a few weeks. Zorse racing is the suck. I don't know how the Derby suckt* me 2 weeks ago.

Rafael Nadal won his 18th Masters title. I think that's a record. We all talkt* about how Tiger was going to break Nicklaus' record and Nadal slipped under the radar and blew right past Jack. Good for you, Raffy.

Jeff Van Gundy says that LeBron won't put da Bulls over the top. I probably agree with him. I wouldn't be shocked or surprised if LeBron wins < than 2 titles in his career. He's happy being a star, he doesn't want to be the best.evAr.

On Sunday the Twins won for the first time ever in the Bronx. At least it seems like the first time ever. I think the last time they won there, kod was riding the bologna pony. wadr

The Reds are in first place. jinx

The Mess are in last place. And Niese got hurt so OP probably has to come back into the rotation. FACE!!

Suite Lou says the Cubs must start winning. He should of* said that a long time ago. No wonder why they couldn't win shit.

This may come as a surprise, but Justin Duchscherer is on the DL. No, really, look it up. First time he's been on it this week. Doug Davis has a heart condition. He should go see The Wizard.

I said I'd effort on this post. I didn't say it would be good.

The Celtics need a refresher on O:FB.

There was some automobile racing this weekend. Check out the results on the internet. I don't feel like looking it up.

Softball suckt*, yet again. Last night was playoffs. First off, I don't know how we made the playoffs because we only won 2 games. Then we lost the game by about 10 runs. Or as one of the guys on our team calls them, "points". That tells you everything you need to know about how this team is. Fucking terrible. But they boat* my jersey this season, so I feel obligated to play on this team at least for another season or 2.

I think that's enough. Go comment.

Friday, May 14, 2010

MSG Announcer : NUMBER 23 (33333echo) LEBROoooonn JAMESSSSS!!!!

Wonder what Montell Jordan is doing right now. Cleaning people are hilarity. They just toss all your shit all over the desk. Thanks Esmeralda. Thanks for dusting my desk up. So the Lebron sweepstakes is on. You think Ohioians hate NY now. Wait until he comes to the mecca. How many bagels can you eat? I can eat three. In one sitting of course. I think Rev can eat 10. Because I lost a bet to him a long time ago and had to send him a dozen bagels. And I remember he was working as a traffic DJ or like a Frasier on the radio and he mentioned he got them and ate them but gave 3 away. (Cue Keef, LP math dozen = 12). Easy as. it was a bakers dozen. Aitch must be miffed right now. Yeah Aitch people actually paid bets around here until you showed up. You know that saying, best thing since sliced bread? Makes no sense to me. First of all sliced bread is awful, assuming we are talking about white bread in the bag like Wonder. Shit is terrible and all the incarnations of it are awful too. Wheat, honey wheat, fiber this and that. Terrible. When cmep buys it I may eat two or three slices from it and it's toasted to death and haveily buttered. So I dont see why sliced bread would be so awesome it would get it's own saying. What did they do back in BC times anyway? Rip the bread apart? How do we know they never sliced it. Tiger, karma is on the phone. Simmons is so giddy I cannot wait until the Magic destroy Boston. They are the only team in the East who can defend all 5 positions. David Stern and the officials will make sure the Lakers win because a Pheonix/Orlando series is not appetizing to the pockets. Cougars, old people and douchers. Great crowds at lease*. Yost told the Royals before they took the field last night to make the Indians remember the night they played the Titans. It worked. Genius.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

stream of conscious

Had an unemployment hearing yesterday for chick I fired... I win again...blue 2 firee's 0. I should have been a lawyer I would have been Denny Crane (undefeated).

rumor out there that Michael Jackson is still alive. Ok, he's hanging with Tupac and Elvis.

Rockies won yesterday with HR in the 10th...take that Doc Holladay...O:FP is in phull ephect.

Miley Cyrus is a whore...I see her following the lindsay lohan path of destruction...it will be great.

Bryant Westbrook is here visiting the Broncos today...maybe they can not sign him....more O:FP

First Screen caps from Kendra's sex tapes are out...not much to see, but definitely looks like it might be worth a watch.


that's all you get

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

stupid

i've never been able to figure something out.

twilight-eclipse tickets go on sale tomorrow, beth is wet

sex and the city tickets already on sale...meiz has his.

ironman2 was a disappointment.

Betty White might host the Oscars

LeBron quit on his team

If lebron was going to stay in Cleveland, don't you think he'd have already said so to end the speculation.

Maybe the Nuggets can get LeBron

I would like to see that amanda seyfried naked...spiff get on it

other people i'd like to see naked, Kathy Ireland, Jennifer Aniston, Beth, Megan Fox (covered up thumb), Sandra Bullock, Avril Lavigne, Betty White, hsil

christian bale /ep

almost time to get my directv back...wahoo

that russian billionaire got final approval to buy the Nets...they're going to move to Brooklyn for sure now. Fits in great with the suckitude that is Brooklyn

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Frogs and Butterflies

Well lots of fun news out there on the WWL today. Tiger lost his swing cost, goddman pools. Habs forced game 7, stupid Pens, just win already. Lakers into the West finals, good for them. Steroid guy is gonna lose his ROY trophy. I wonder if they come to his house and take it back or if they just make a new one. LeBron asks for Rondo, well Bron its a little late in the year to make trades. (DYSWIDT?) Daley got cut by the UFC for punching Cocksheck in the face after the fight. Haha. Machida just woke up.

You ever wonder what makes an irregular heartbeat so bad? I mean, what if the irregular heartbeat is more efficient? Couldn't it be better? Is the normal human heartbeat the best we have? If I ever get diagnosed with an irregular heartbeat I am going to make them tell me why it is worse than the normal one. Maybe it will be better for 40 yard dashes, annihilate you.

Its raining today and we are supposed to play softball. The over under on number of players who ask me if we are cancelled is 8.5. We have 12 people on the team counting me.

Back to that AP revote...why don't they just give the trophy to the second place finisher? How all of a sudden is he not going to be the new winner? Sorry dude back then you were good enough to get second, but now that the first place guy cheated you are still just second, some other guy did better now.

My roommate wants to buy a motorcycle. He finds one on Craigslist for $5200. Sends the guy an email asking if he'll take $4900. I tell the roommate to look up the blue book value before he makes an offer. So the seller is all about taking $4900. Turns out the blue book is $4000. My roommate is a ratard. Also he can't sell diamonds.

Speaking of diamonds cgtif lost her earring yesterday. She looked for it in the morning and then again when she got home. She finally found it when she took her bra off, it was in there all day. This is awesome because now if anything is missing I can just go right to the boobs and look for it there. Can't find the ketchup in the fridge, check her bra. Can't find my keys, check the bra. This is great.

OK I should go to work. I was supposed to be there 20 mins ago. Its raining so traffic is gonna suck. Although I am leaving later, so I might get there earlier than if I had left...well you know the rest.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Weak sauce

It's 3:30am (PST), so this will be a short post.

Tiger hurt his neck. That karma is a big bitch. Non-PEDs Tiger is worst* than PEDs Tiger. That's not sarcasm. No PEDs means he's going to be breaking down a lot more. Jack's record # of majors is safe.

Rev went to the Grand Canyon but didn't jump in.

Suns finish off the Spurs. People around here think it's grate*, but the Spurs are an average of 81 years old.

BP sucks. Now they want to shoot mud at the oil leak. Smat*.

Freak, I'll have your name/pic later.

Went fishing & camping this weekend. Camping was ok, but the wind was like 30-40mph all day so fishing suckt*. Woe.

I felt like mize there for a second.

Summertime is almost here. Summer summer summertime, summertime.

That's enough

TWSS

Friday, May 07, 2010

They all look alike

I think Chad Ford and Mel Kiper Jr should swap places. Let Mel handle the NBA draft and Chad the NFL draft. Kipe can talk about how far Jon Scheyer has dropped and what a great value he is once he goes. And Chad can rave about the wingspan of Dez Bryant or how "quick to the spot" Brandon Graham is. I believe in hilarity and I believe in hilarity ensuing. The Lawrence Taylor story saddens me. I mean I don't pretend to know him but when you grow up a Giants fan, in my era, he was the best and might still be the best linebacker ever. He isn't a good person obviously but rape is rape. It's ain't funny. Piggybacking on yesterday news, fat boy who threw the ball 80 yards from his knees at the combine a few years ago was released. So that ends that. Wonder if this made Ryan Leaf happy? Or Lane Kiffin. I'm at work really early cuz of the market. They still don't know why the Dow dropped to 1000 in about 46 seconds, crippling over a dozen stocks bringing them to pennies. But you don't care. It's my fault. The Magic haven't lost a playoff game yet. But SG doesn't trust Vinsanity in a big spot so no worries they won't win the whole shebang. I shit you not like 3 dudes on last night's train home looked very similar to the Times Square bomber. You just can't tell, they blend. Unlike Vincent LaGuardia Gambini. He was a fool anyway, he had a getaway car parked 8 blocks from the bomb he left but forgot the keys in the bomb car. He might be on that dumb criminal show now. Back to the Los Hawks for a minute. Do they play defense? I watched like 10 real minutes of the game and the Magic got off like 8 uncontested threes. Someone should coach them. I read an article about baseball merging leagues. That would not be cool. You know we have an immigrant problem when the most poopular team in the USA is Team Mexico. Is an 8 seed gonna win the Cup? Do you care? Well I guess I'll step aside and let the fireworks begin. T, Summer Ale. I got you son.

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Throwback

This is a throwback post.

NBA - Something happened

NHL - Something happened

MLB - Something happened

NFL - Nothing happened

You are now updated.

Carry on.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

OCHOCINCODEMAYO

You know I don't speak spanish.

Come to find out Corey Haim died of pneumonia...not drugs...Corey says apology accepted.

Bret Michaels is going to live. He's not doing his traditional Cinco de Michaels show here this year though...something about brain something.

Bungles are going to sign Pac-Man...I guess since Chris Henry died they needed another trouble maker from WaVa.

Construction on Casa de Blue is coming along swimingly...everything is in but the carpet..yahoo. Of course no work will get done today because of the holiday, and no work will get done tomorrow because the hangover from the holiday.

I guess a guy got tasered at the phillies game, at least he didn't get it IN THE FACE

I'm not watching sports so I have very little to offer on that front. I hear the NBA playoffs are almost over.

LOS suns jerseys back for the game tonight. Coincidence that it's cinco de mayo? I say no....they think they're protesting something or something. Hey if the NBA cared about immigration laws they'd have more mexican in the league. Right now it's Pau and his brother Marc,(which are very odd mexican names, I'd rather have a Jesus Gasol) and maybe somebody else.

Oils Spill in the gulf means blue is not going to the gulf for vacation this summer...he is very disappointed (s).

The hawks lost by 43 last night...by the end of the game they were 2 laps down (nascar joke).


Ok i'm not even going to pretend like this is a great post

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Goddman Computer

My computer is pissing me off this morning. It took a solid 20 minutes to boot up and load up LOV. WFT Mayne?

Oh well, I have 8 minutes to write this post now before I have to go into a meeting. Let's see if I can reach the D- level we all strive for.

O:FB(ron?)......Celtics went ATM on the Cavs last night. Bron had an OK night, except his team got crushed, so he is probably pissed. I guess there is a reason that the teams split the season series. In any case I still think the Cavs win this thing in 5 or 6. I don't think the Celts have that much juice left in them. Their starting five is a combined 501 years old and KGs knees work like the knees of a 156 year old. Of course Shaq and Antawn aren't exactly youngsters anymore.

I was flipping through the channels last night and I came across some WWE stuff. It was Monday night RAW, not sure what that is, but Wayne Brady was on it. I was hoping he'd do stuff from that Chappelle show skit, but he never did. He played the good guy. He got RKOed, whatever that is. Looked like what they called a neckbreaker back in the day. I think it was the same thing Rick Rude used to do, except maybe inverted. Rude called it the Rude Awakening or something....Are there any new moves in the WWE or are they all just shit people did back in the day with new names? I remember watching it a couple months ago and someone got DDTed, but they called it something else. Then they DDTed someone straight down and called that something else, then they did it inverted and it was another name....Anyway, Brady looked terrified before he got RKOed. I don't think he did that kind of stuff on Whose Line Is It Anyway?

NHL playoffs are still going on. This is like day 25 of them.....we are in the 2nd round.

This Dez Bryant stuff isn't going away anytime soon. I think we all get it, his parents were not very reputable...They weren't a dentist with a nurse practitioner wife, I get it. Not everyone has jobs like that. Some people are fucked up, his parents are. Instead of talking about how screwed up his parents are maybe people should talk about how he seems relatively normal. I mean, I listened to him give an interview and he doesn't really sound like the brightest bulb in the pack, but he seems OK enough.

Damn, +3 minutes, I am late for my meeting. Dez Bryant talk ruined it. I was pussy footing around and trying not to insult pimps or make it seem like they were bad. They provide a much needed service.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Tomorrow is Pinocchio McGee's birthday

What a grate* weekend it was. hsil moved out and csil was in San Francisco. It was so quiet and drama free around here. A brother can get used to this shit.

Be prepared to read the headline "Philadelphia man uses Grand Canyon as bath tub" next weekend. On CNN, of course. Then they'll boot his wife right outta here. wadr

Kentucky Derby sucked me this weekend. I watch 3 minutes of zorse racing every year. I thought it was cool that they showed some dude placing a $100k bet on Super Saver about 5 minutes before the race, and they had to make 40 individual bets because the max bet is $2500. ($2500 X 40 = $100k, LP) Then the zorse goes on to win in the slop and dude wins $800k. (Because it was +800 and not -160, LP) Apparently his $100k bet shifted the line from 8-1 to 7-1. That's a new goal in my life, to be rich enough to be able to make a bet on an event that is large enough that it will shift the Vegas odds.

Looks like Mauer is out for a while with a heel. Sorry, kod. Good thing he already got that huge contract. /aitch Apparently he's week to week instead of day to day. Don't hear that too often in sports.

LeBron won MVP. He almost averaged a trip-dub this year. If he played in the 60s (AHIK*), he'd average 50-20-20, no doubt. He's a fucking horse.
Hey, that's my line. /LP

My dad is a pmip.

Pmip is not HDH, either.

GK is a fucking wreck. Fred Wilpon thinks that GK is a mess. I imagine that it's not easy to get a blood clot when you are taking blood thinners. He would reach out to mize for emotional support but mize has no emotions. But he does love being right about that shit that doesn't faze him.

Hockey is still being played. Last week I was into it, but now I'm over it. Just go away. TWSS

There's lot of earl* in the ocean, I guess. PETA is pisst*.

Anyone check out the new Freddy movie? I'm not sure if I want to see it or not. Apparently it did well this weekend. CNN headline says "Freddy Krueger kills at box office". ISWTDT

Phils just phinished off the Mess. Johan lookt* pretty good throwing the ball. Then the game started. When you get beat by a 47 year old guy who throws 80 MPH, you should probably re-evaluate your career.

mize thinks he knows the way to beat Money May. Of course, he also thought Ricky Hatton was the great white hope. Mize should stop thinking.

I think zeke is using this "new yob" story as a front for "I quit again"

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino