Friday, January 29, 2010

READ

Not sure if you guys want the Pro Bowl pick or not. The dead week before Super Bowl sunday is almost over. Can you feel it. It's almost time for me to start paying close attention to basketball. Starbury debuts for his China club real soon. I'm sure he'll do a u-stream video after while crying and eating dog. The Daily News did this thing about Peyton and asked whether or not is he one of the greatest QB's of all time and most had him in the Top 5. The unanimous #1 was Joe Cool followed by the unanimous #2 Johnny U. Then opinions started going awry and #3, #4, #5 spots were all scattered. One guy had Brady 3, Manning 4 and Bradshaw 5. Bradshaw's numbers are so underwhelming but he won alot of Lombardi. Did you know Bradshaw recorded 5 music albums? WFT? Wikipedia is great. Hey remember when we all had encyclopedias in our house. It was like the big thing your parents bought. A huge purchase. Wonder what encyclopedia salesman are up to right now? I'm gonna write this post and not skip any lines. You know what bothers me, when I send someone an email and they say that they didn't get it. Um, yes you did I sent it. It's email. I didn't send it by pigeon. Just say that you accidentially deleted it so we can move on. Less painful. If John Smoltz signs with the Mets I will blow torch my big toe. Right now I'm leaning towards taking the Colts because they look like a dynasty. They'll be back in the Super Bowl at lease once more before Peyton retires. And if he has 5 more years left than he'll be there 2 more times. But the Saints are easy to root for. Kanye is rooting for black people in general. So is Steve. It's so ironic he is a Duke fan, the entire team is ghost. If bacon makes everything taste better why not try it when we eat pussy? That's salt overload. But so tasty I bet. I don't get art. Do you toast your pop tarts or eat them as is? I told cmep to choose 5 cities she would like to visit that she never visited before and I would choose 5 cities and we would go to 2 or 3 a year, on the cheap if possible, like a weekend or something like that (if I get a decent bonus, fucking barack, AHIK) and here are mine......in no paticular order. Austin, Tx. Santa Fe, NM. Seattle, WA. San Diego, CA. Minneapolis-St.Paul, MN. She hasn't given here yet. Notable other, Charleston SC, Portland OR, Kansas City MS and Nawlins. I enjoy seeing my country. Forthose who want kids, 2 and half to I think 4 years old is the best. I'm really having a ball hearing my kid talk and say silly things. Pitchers and catchers, 21 days. DET.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Hail to the Thief...

That's what they were saying after Bush got elected in 2000. Well maybe that's what we should start saying about Obama, because he stole that election with lies and empty promises. Obviously, I listened to the State of the Union Address last night. I will say Obama made a few good, solid points, but mostly it was just more and more BS and blame-laying. At this point, does the guy have any credibility left?

On to sports related stuff, It is a few days later, but the Vikings loss is still just as sweet. Sorry, Kod. It has nothing to do with the franchise itself as I have no issues with Minnesota. It is just my outright hatred for Brett Favre and all things Favre related. The guy has just proven himself to be a selfish jerk. Point blank and period. And I for one am glad that he cost his team the game.

Everyone here knows my opinion on the Gilbert Arenas situation and I applaud David Stern for his actions yesterday. Suspending both Agent Zero and his teammate, hopefully he sends a message that this thug nonsense will not be tolerated.

I may add more to this post later, but right now I have to go get a fare. Comment away.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

TPS attack

I've been buried the last 2 weeks in TPS..and I keep forgetting to put the cover page on my reports...so i'm kind of out of the loop on everything.

I heard that there was an earthquake somewhere in the carribean?

News came out that the Los Angeles area was having troubles with mudslides?

Bert Farve destroyed another entirely different fan bases hopes and dreams?

Kobe wants traded?

Tiger and Elin are getting back together?

Obama is making a speech tonight? I hope he uses the term "jive turkey".

That is all.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

An obvious ending

Alright so I haven't really been paying attention to the blog the last couple days so I figure most of this has already been said...but I'll say it anyway.

Bert*

Was there really any other way that game could have went? I guess he could have won it and then blown it in the Super Bowl. The point is you knew he was going to blow it. Everyone knew it. He knew it. Which is why it happened. Kind of a self fulfilling prophecy. But really that game was a microcosm of his whole career. Some great plays and then a boneheaded play that cost his team a win.

Super Bowl

I am already sick of Archie Manning stories. Fuck him.

I am already sick of Katrina stories. I swear the media is sapping any ounce of sympathy I had for that town out of me. I actually care less now than ever before. And not just because time has passed and you care about things (things like that, probably not true with people, but maybe) less as time goes by. I care less because the media is still shoving it down my throat. I hate the media.

NHL Update

San Jose has the most points, they must be the best team. Also the Olympics are soon so he players should be taking a break soon. At least it isn't a lock out.

Pro Bowl

I have no clue who is playing in it. I hope Bert plays. I've never really wished a career ending injury on anyone, but he is probably the closest anyone has ever been to receiving that wish from me.

Anyway, I think I actually have a higher chance of watching it now that they changed the date. I used to have about a 0.5% chance of watching it, now I am probably up to 10%. Unless some good college bball game is on I will probably watch.

Tennis

Roddick lost, Nedal "retires." I hate when they say a player retired from a match. He quit. I am not sure why he quit, maybe his leg fell off, or maybe he is a Spanish Pussy. I don't know, I am not a Doctor. What I do know is that smoking didn't make him quit.

OK it is late so go comment.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Uninspired

Fuck that guy
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Verrrrrrrrrrry nice ending to your season
Really, fuck that guy
Everyone has had enough of your bullshit

2 reasons I loved the outcome of the Vikes game. #1, obviously, is that Bert is a giant douche that we're all tired of seeing. It's awsome* that he ended their season in typical Bert fashion. He had the entire state of Minny roped in, and then he drops the late INT. Fucking awsome*. #2 is that my sister's husband is a Vikings fan. I hate him more than any person in the world. I have never been more happy to see a team lose than I was when that final FG went through. With that being said, I will be rooting for Indy. I hate them < than I hate the Saints.

It is goddman cold here. Obviously this is relatively speaking. I get it, East Coast. Cold here is not the same as cold there. I've lived in the midwest, I understand all that. But it's cold here. I'm ready for winter to be over.

I need to backwash my pool to fix the pump, apparently. I don't know how to do that, though. Home ownership is fun until you have to do shit like that.

Dallas put on a shooting clinic that crushed the Knicks' spirits, ignoring the absence of two starters and rolling to the biggest win in franchise history with a 128-78 victory Sunday. IN YOU FACE, LP

Rev is making a trip to the left coast. If ever there was a time that California was gonna break off from the rest of the country, it'll be when rev steps foot inside the border.

New season of softball started tonight. Playing on a different team. We're in the lowest league. It should be fun. ETEO.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Championship Games On

The end of an era, I was going to do a running diary of the finale of The Jersey Shore but am really lazy. Apologies.

Colts -7.5 over Jets


This season, NFL teams blitzed Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning 149 times.
The result: He completed 101 passes, 10 for touchdowns, and was only sacked five times. In fact, his completion percentage on blitzes was only one point lower than his overall mark. This Colt team might be better than the Super Bowl team from 2006. It's faster on defense for one, it has a bevy of WR's not just two and the Colts are almost unbeatable at home. (8-1 ATS). The Jets threw alot at the Colts in Week 15 and Manning has it all on tape. Colts shook off the rust against a team that is very similar to the Jets. And beat them pretty handily despite struggling a bit on offense. I think the game will be close until the 3rd quarter. Nice run the Jets have been on. The San Diego win was huge. But this is the end of the road, the Colts are much better than San Diego. I really believe they would have clobbered San Diego too. ($250)


Saints -2.5 over Vikings


Ok here's the thing with the Minny team. They are loaded obviously. Very. And Farve, I can't deny it, has been amazing this year. All the off-field drama was worth it because look where they are. One game away from the Super Bowl. But riddle me this Farvemen, is this Saint team the best team the Vikings have played all year long? I think so.


Vikes lost 4 games this year. All of them on the road. The Saints sport one of the nosiest dome field advantages in the league and you have to really multiply that times 10 since the Saints have never even hosted a Championship game, ever. Nor have they ever been to the Super Bowl. Farve's playoff record (eyemuffs Farve lovers) is pretty atrocious for a hall of famer. Last NFC championship game he was in he was schooled by Eli Manning, in his own backyard not to mention the awful pick that ended his teams chances at a Super Bowl. Can Farve avoid the big mistake in a louder than loud venue for the entire game? ($250)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Philadelphia version of Aitch...


Well, maybe not. I have no FB's. I can't sing. I'm not in a band. But I'm a large man with a goatee. That's close enough.


Hello, my name is Rev, and I'm a recovering Democrat.

I was asked to spot start today by H. I don't know why. You might not care. You won't read this. You'll just go and comment without paying attention. You ignore me anymore. I used to be somebody.

I need some bagels. There's gotta be something I can bet ElP on. How about over/under on house seats the Dems will lose in 2010? I'm setting the number at 47.

Eric Gagne said he was going to have a tryout for the Phillies. Stop it, Meiz. I don't want your castoffs.

It has gotten to the point where the only way Donovan McNabb can make a Pro Bowl is if one of the NFC QB's gets to play in the Super Bowl. That's a kick in the nuts. Oh, and Tom Brady has decided not to play due to a sprained haircut. And by the way... thank you NFL for making a game I don't give a crap about even more craptacular because some of your best players won't play in it because they're getting ready for the Super Bowl. Just take the game and play it in Japan or something to make me care even less.

I've decided I want to see Rex Ryan win a Super Bowl just to see if the players will attempt to carry him off the field. And yes, a fat guy is allowed to make jokes about other fat guys. So bite me.

Speaking of me, apparently Conan O'Brien made a joke Tuesday night, saying "NBC is headed downhill faster than a fat guy chasing a runaway cheese-wheel!" Well, I dispute this because when it comes right down to it, fat guys don't run. We just let it go and drive to the store to buy a new cheese wheel. Then we eat it the whole wheel and poop in the refrigerator. Impressive, isn't it?


And speaking of cheese, I leave you with this picture I took in Philly on Monday of a large mural in the Italian Market dedicated to cheese. It's over 20 feet tall. I mean, we really are obsessed with this stuff in my town. You all were right. It's embarassing.




Go say something profound.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

double dragon

Conference champyunship games this weekend...snoozefest. I find the possible storylines much more compelling. Why's that you may ask (but probably didn't because you're a douche), it's because of a little thing I like to call irony.

Lets take Bert Farve if the Vikings get to "the bowl" he has one of 2 teams he gets to play. If he plays the Colts and Peyton Manning, well then it's a matchup of 2 of the greatest QBs ever to play. John Madden's head will explode. Not to mention all the stories about how a 40 year old QB has never made it to the superbowl, and how he didn't even play in the preseason, and how he had off-season surgery on his throwing shoulder, and how he looks in his Wrangler jeans. I can't wait....but there's more...what if (AHIIK) the JETS jets jets jets, make it to face Farve in "the bowl". The team that he led last season, the guys who were all calling him out after he "retired" and left the JETS. Imagine the headlines, imagine the drama...if only TNT were doing the game (because they know drama).

Ok i've grown bored with that scenario, lets move to the next one and imagine that the S(don't call us the)aints make it to the "big game". There will be excitement because of the first trip ever for the Saints, there will be stories about Katrina, stories about how Drew Brees got that thing on his face, stories about Drew Brees' mom, stories about Reggie Bush, and lots of picture of Kim Kardashian and her ass...maybe even another sextape. Throw in the fact that they could be playing the Colts who are led by non other than Peyton Manning who grew up in.....New Orleans. Who's father was the greatest Saints QB of all time, (which will change if Brees gets them into the big game)...3rd on the list is Aaron Brooks...it's not a great list. Imagine the stories and possibility...they're endless. Now imagine if they played the JETS....keep imagining...keep trying to imagine it...ok that story sucks...except everyone will talk about the Sanchise being the first rookie QB to lead his team to the highest level possible.

So I guess what i'm hoping for is that somehow none of these teams win this weekend and we just call the season a draw...although i'm probably rooting for the Saints (sorry kod) more than anyone, for no real reason. Which means they'll lose this weekend and there will be no Saints storylines to speak of.



PS. Dear NFL, please not that I did not use the term "super" or "bowl" in conjunction. I appreciate you acknowledging that and not suing me for Trademark infringement or whatever other legal thing I may have done.

SuperBowl™

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Quick Recaps Shammy Style

OK, I overslept and have a meeting soon. Morning meetings suck. Let's get to it.


Kansas State beat Texas in hoops. Don't really care. Don't start paying too much attention until conference tourney time. That's probably why my NCAA picks are so bad. I love me some hoops, but I don't pay attention to the regular season that much. Not sure if that is good or bad. For football I pay attention all season, for hoops just the end.

LeBron isn't doing the dunk contest. I thought he promised???? Speaking of which that's what the Cleveland fans are going to be saying when he is playing somewhere else next year.

Keith destroyed Zeke in the TCS. Horrible final. Congrats Keith. That's back to back wins. Back to back finals losses for Zeke. Zeke is working on being the Buffalo Bills.


OK I gotta go. Shitty post, I know.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Running diary

I didn’t realize that there was an awards show tonight. I should of* realized it because it’s January and I think there’s an awards show every weekend during January. It’s kind of annoying. But cmk & I were at Costco getting a new patio set and the following conversation takes place…

cmk – The Golden Globes are on tonight. I guarantee hsil has the dvr set up for that. We can probably watch that later.
me – Yeah, that’s fine. I can do something for the blog.
cmk – What?
me – It’s called a running diary.
cmk - ::hank hill::
me – It's pretty funny. I-
cmk – You’re retarded

All times are MST.

9:30 – Here we are, live at the as. Mansion. The Golden Globes are starting with the introduction of the host, some Brit I’ve nerve* heard of. I guess he was in the British version of the Office. His humor is <<<<<<< than Steve Carrell. I’m already tired of listening to him ramble on and on. 2 minutes in and his jokes are already getting a ::get on with it:: from the crowd

9:32 – He’s still unfunny. The crowd is getting uncomfortable. He’s really ackward*.

9:35 – Holy crap, is this guy still talking? I haven’t laught* at one thing that he’s said. He did just take a sip of a beer that he had sitting under the podium, though. I didn’t know that was allowed on TV.

9:36 – Nicole Kidman is pimping some Haiti relief fund. What happened in Haiti? /LP

9:37 – The first award of the night goes to some big black chick. She has stretch marks and hair covering her arms. It’s grosser than it sounds. But at least the token award is out of the way. I didn’t say that.

9:40 – Tina Fey looks awful.

9:44 – Fucking AT&T commercials with Luke Wilson are the worse. I’ve nerve* heard of a person who “needs” a phone that they can surf the internet as they are talking on the phone. But that is their pitch and they’re making it sound like it’s a necessity. Why not just say “Our service sucks. This is all we got.”

9:47 – John Lithgow just won an award. I didn’t know he was on TV. I’m not a fan of his. 3rd Rock from the Sun was the worse show ever. There, I said it.

9:52 – The get off the stage music is the best. People go from shook to SHOOK

9:55 - Nine looks like a suite musical. /Kevin

9:57 – British guy is back on stage and making stupid jokes and laughing at them. Where’s Kanye at to take the mic away from him

10:00 – Cancer Dexter guy just won for best actor in a TV drama. He’s wearing a beanie and cmk says “What the hell is he wearing”. I said “I think he’s got cancer. Your* going to hell.”

10:05 – Harrison Ford’s corpse is presenting an award. Seriously, he sounds like he’s dead. I guess he worked around the clock too much.

10:08 – Cher and Christina Aguilera presenting an award. One of them looks like Michael Jackson and one looks awesome*. I’ll let you guess which was which.

10:18 – Jesus, some bitch just talkt* about 3 minutes into the get off the stage music. One more minute and the floor would of* dropped out from under her.

10:20 – Colin Farrell is still alive? He just fuckt* up his joke. Hilarity. He looks like he’s trying to be the John Stamos of the 2000s, except with more hair gel.

10:22 – Meryl Streep just beat herself for Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical. Congrats, there were 4 people nominated and you took 2 of the spots. I probably won’t watch either of your movies. Go kiss Sandra Bullock now.

10:27 – New celebrity apprentice with Goldberg? Suite. ETEO

10:30 – Kevin Bacon seems like a cool motherfucker. He’s high on something right now. He probably weighs about a buck-o-five right now. Even kod thinks he looks little

10:33 – Drew Barrymore looks the same today as she did 15 years ago. It’s crazy. She doesn’t age at all. She’s fucking long-winded, though. Wrap it up already. TWSS

10:38 – cmk’s reaction to seeing Cameron Diaz on stage… “Uh, eat something bitch”.

10:45 – Don’t forget about Haiti. They need our help

10:52 – Samuel L. motherfucker. He’s still tired of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane.

10:55 – I would definitely have sexy time with Sophia Loren. Yeah, I said it. Don’t judge me. I know I’m not the only one.

11:00 – I’m gonna fast-forward now because it’s only halfway through and I’m already bored. This might be the more boring show I’ve erve* seen. NS

11:01 – Oh wait, there’s been a Kristin Bell sighting. I love me some Kristin Bell. When is she going to do Playboy?

11:03 – Stopping the FF right now because Halle Berry is presenting. The puppies are looking grate* tonight. I bet they’re built for speed and pleasure

11:10 – I don’t get how Marty Scorsese’s hair is white but his eyebrows are dark black. But holy crap, he is short. Are there any tall Italians except for the guy who plays for the Knicks?

11:15 – Mel Gibson presenting. Let the jew bashing begin. He did make an Inglorious Bastards joke, so that was kind of funny. Mel also thought that Hitler was ok at first, he just went too far.

11:17 – James Cameron has the 2 highest grossing films of all time. I wonder if he’ll loan me some money if I email him. Seriously, like $1000. I’m good for it.

11:18 – Shot of Leona Lewis in the crowd. I would definitely have a party that involved her and burritos.

11:20 – Fucking stupid. Award for best TV show, with the nominees including The Office, 30 Rock, and Entourage, and the winner is Glee. You know how I know that Hollywood is ghey? Right now kod is saying IN YOU FACE

11:23 – The stars from The Hangover and Iron Mike are presenting now. Goddman, I always forget how short Mike is. Marty Scorsese thinks Iron Mike needs platforms.

11:25 – Tem’s girl Reese Witherspoon presenting now. I’m not gonna lie. She looks hot as fuck tonight. She always looks better when she uses her 15” bangs to cover up her forehead. She’s presenting for the best comedy, which The Hangover wins. The Hollywood Foreign Press must of* watcht* the non-Ohio version of it.

11:30 – cmk just said “I’m going to bed. Are you gonna finish your stupid blog stuff?”

11:33 – OH MY GOD. Mariah’s bewbs look monstrous tonight. God bless her. Nick Cannon probably gets lost in those pieces of heaven every night.

11:45 – I’ve honestly nerve* heard of half of the movies or TV shows that have been nominated tonight.

11:50 – Finally, we’re to the last award. Best motion picture, presented by Julia Roberts. I bet Avatar wins. Strong limb I’m standing on.

11:52 – Avatar wins. Man, I’m awesome*. That pick should make up for my 0-4 football picks this weekend. (s)


Freak is a pussy.

Out

Friday, January 15, 2010

Divisional Weekend

I had a vivid Erin Andrews dream. And yes we fornicated. It was magic. Here's the setting, I was at this sporting event. I think it was a football game but I'm not really sure. My brain neglected that detail. But she wasn't there working she was chillin and she smiled at me and I smiled back. Bizarre I thought. So I was at concessions grabbing a cup of chilli and she was behind me, I noticed and told her to get whatever she wanted. After I swiped my AMEX gold card we started talking and she asked me back to her seat. The game is over and the crowd is letting out so we hop on this Disney like golf cart tram car thing (oh that's right it was ESPN the weekend) that takes us to her hotel. I ask if she would like a drink she says yes and some wings. I was taken aback. I love wings. So I order a Jack and Coke and she gets a glass of cabernet. We bullshit for awhile over wings and talk about our lives and then start making out. We are like Ricky Bobby and that girl in the glasses right now just all over each other, so she invites me upstairs and we had sex. Her hair smelled like a fairy tale. I lasted 3 minutes the first time and 27 minutes the second time (no condom, don't judge me). I came twice she came last. Then my daughters ice cold milk cup was shoved in my armpit so I woke up. The End.

If I didn't fucking wake up I definetely would have sported some Eggs Benedict at the hotel the next morning. I'm nice like that.

AZ +7 over New Orleans


How can I bet against the team that just dropped 51? You know what's funny. AZ during this playoff run they seem to be on are 4-0 ATS. Add to that a 8-2 ATS against teams with a winning record and you are looking at a winner winner here. ($200)
Anyway, the Cards played the late game Sunday and this week play the early game on Saturday? That makes sense?


Indy -6.5 over Baltimore


I'm ignoring all this "Colts haven't played in a month" crap for this one. The Ravens secondary is not as good as Tom Brady made them look. Manning is going to shit on them. Flacco is going to have to beat them because Indy is going to put 8 men in that box, it'll be up to Freeny and Mathis up front to put pressure on the 2nd year QB and we'll see how he'll respond. I think he'll fail and Indy will go up two scores late to seal it. ($300)


Minnesota -2.5 over Cowboys


I hope. I don't have great confidence in this pick but if the Vikings have one thing going for them it's #28 Adrian Peterson. Last week Philly didn't even fucking attempt to run the ball which is why I am always puzzled by media people saying Andy Reid is a genius. But whatever, Dallas is playing as well as anyone so they are going to be a tough out. With that dome cranked up to HIGH I can see Romo floating a pass or two into the purples hands. And Flozell Adams with about 11 false starts wont help either. ($100)


San Diago -7 over NYJ


I was all over the Jets at 9 but at 7? I wasn't born yesterday bookmakers. They want you to pound the Jets, moving the line down like that is sneaky and cruel. But I ain't new to this game I'm true to it. So I will go the other way even though I think the game will be tight. If there is a WR out there that will give Revis a problem it will be Vinny Jackson. Because he's fast and big. Not just fast, and not just big. Rivers is playing lights out too and Tomlinson is motivated, fully aware his career is coming to an end and he is ringless. ($250)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Happy Thursday

I don't know if anyone noticed, but I will point it out myself. I went 0-4 on my wild card round picks in last week's post. Therefore, I make no predictions for this upcoming weekend. I will simply watch and try to enjoy.

Chris Johnson won offensive player of the year. I wonder what qualified him for this award. I mean, why did people find him so offensive? Did he not shower after the games? Does he use a lot of vulgar language around children and the elderly? Strange. "I kind of realize what I did and I feel like I had a dream season," said Johnson. I don't know if being considered the most offensive player in the NFL is something you should have been dreaming about Chris...

I'm not sure if this is the end or a continuation of O:FB. No one here cares about soccer anyways.

This is something every sports fan should be following. Whatever the final decision is, it will have an effect on every major sports league.

I was gonna post an update on the old man's pending legal situation, but I don't know how smart that really would be, so I will leave it alone. All I will say is I have to get up early on Friday morning, after working until at least 2 a.m., to go with him to court. Fantastic.

Is it wrong that I hope neither Kevin nor Kwitter win the TCS? I guess my only hope is that Beth or Spiff come through with a naked Beth picture. I'm thinking this is more likely to come from Spiff than Beth, but you never know. That southern grl is crafty. I wouldn't put it past her to post a naked picture like a minute before Tem's next post goes up. That would be the better.

Well that's all I have. Spam away, Kevin.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Haiti got leveled

I like earthquake stories...especially ones that destroy entire nations.

Mark Mcgwire took steroids? No way, say it ain't so Jose. I find it laughable that he contends it didn't help him improve as a player. Considering that he never played at the Major League level without roids, how the hell would he know? He's a douche, and a lying douche. If you're going to come out and say you took roids, come completely clean, and be honest about why you're doing it. Don't say it's because you have a guilty conscious. Say it's because you want a job with the Cardinals and don't want to have Pujols and Holliday have to get tested extra. Say it's because you hate your mom. I guess it was time to talk about the past now. Jose Canseco had the best line when asked about McGwire's "confession"..."there's no crying in baseball".



one more thing...really Lane Kiffin is who you want to lead USC. I get it that he coached there and recruited there when they were super awesome. And the guys he brought in turned out to be dirty (I'm looking at you Reggie Bush). So now he's had a bunch of infractions at Tennessee, and USC might be going on probation, so you hire this dishonest dude...good call.

blah

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

TCS Finals

Well the TCS semi-finals are over. They ended up being pretty good. The contestants were allowed to draft a person to help them this round. With the first pick Meiz took nobody. With the second pick El Pad took nobody. With the third pick Zeke took nobody. With the final pick Keith took Spiff. That's right, to start the semi-finals Keith went all that one white guy from the Matrix on Meiz and drafted Spiff even though there was an apparent agreement to go 1 on 1. Well, I hope Meiz learned his lesson.

So how costly was Meiz's decision not to draft anyone? Well it cost him the win. Keith barely tried this week. In fact Meiz outpointed him 128 to 108, but since Keith drafted Spiff, the additional 72 points from Spiff put Keith over the top and into the finals. Meiz was never really competitive in this game. Mostly because it was 2 on 1. So congrats Keith, you made it to the finals again.

The other semi final matched started off as a snoozer. El Pad was running away with it. Zeke was blocked at work and El Pad just racked up the points. But then came the weekend and Zeke stormed back. Zeke put up an amazing 71 points over El Pad's post against El Pad's 47. That narrowed the gap to 5 going into the final post.

During the day El Pad coasted. I guess he thought he was way ahead. He had the opportunity to shut the door on Zeke, but didn't do it. He left the door open, but Zeke isn't really the come from behind kind of TCSer. At this point El Pad had 16 points for the day. Not his weakest day of the tournament, but the kind of performance you would expect from a NY team in the playoffs. Basically a Mess of a day.

Zeke had every opportunity to quit. He logged on and his first wall was blocked by Rev. Of course Rev steps in with his one post and tries to have a huge impact on the TCS. But Zeke didn't quit. He forged ahead and put up some good walls and some good links. Finally though he ran out of steam and finished up the night with 29 points. A solid day for sure.

Now, I bet one of you did the math and has figured out that at this point Zeke was up 8 points. So what did the El Pad Mess do in the morning? They put up 3 walls. That six points closed the gap, but wasn't enough.

Zeke 141 El Pad 139. That's the final folks. Even though he was blocked for most of the week Zeke still put in the time and effort to pull out a win. You can't call him a quitter anymore.....OK you can still call him a quitter.

For El Pad it is a disappointing loss for sure. He'll probably think back to that draft day when after Meiz foolishly picked nobody El Pad could have had Spiff or Jug or TP or anyone. He had the chance to make his team way better, but passed. So yet again, another NY team watches someone step up to the plate with the game on the line and not even swing the bat.


So the it is an all Arizona Final. Keith vs Zeke. I think centsports has the line at Keith -9. Keith is the defending champ so he might coast and that'll give Zeke a good chance here.

Let the Finals Begin.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Monday post

Some things suckt this weekend. The Bengals game really suckt. Congrat, TP. I hope a Whale's Vagina rolls all over the Jets, though.

What didn't suck this weekend was the Balt/NE game. I really hate the Ravens, but I really really really really really hate NE. It's grate* when your QB throws for 34 yards and you still score 33 points and blow your opponent out. I ♥ O:FB.

Another thing that didn't suck is the Eagles losing. We needed a break from the Philly insufferableness.

LP turnt old yesterday. Happy belated. And he also won the BK Pop Warner champyunship*. Congrats on that, too.

csil is ratarded. She broke up w/ her boyfriend right before New Year's, and she's already said three different times since then that she found a guy that she's gonna marry and have kids with. Then on Friday she said that she needs to take a year off and not date anyone. We all laught* because there is < than 0 chance of that happening. I told her that I would bet her that she couldn't last a year w/o dating someone and that if I lost the bet she could have my house. She said that she didn't have anything she could bet me, that all she has is her dog and she can't bet her. So I told her that she knows she wouldn't win the bet. Then yesterday she goes to the Cardinals game and says that she met a guy and she's going on a date with him on Wednesday. First thing she says is "He's rich". So he's a douchebag if he mentions how much money he makes in the probably 15 minutes that they talkt*. Second thing she says is that he's Italian and he's from Jersey. A fucking guido. I should of* axed if he was 5'9.5".

Speaking of the Cardinals game, all I saw of that game was the last 12 minutes of the 4th quarter and then OT. What a suite fucking finish to the game. I really didn't care who won, but the ending was pretty cool. Neil Rackers owes Karlos Dansby a car or house or something. Fucking kickers. You have 1 job responsibility. ONE.

Counting Crows talk this weekend on LOV was suite. CC is the better. The top 3 CC songs probably are Round Here, A Murder of One, and Long December.
What is your favorite CC song and WHY? (s)

Friday, January 08, 2010

Wild Card Weekend

Alabama won. McCoy not that tough.

Last Week : 7-8
Overall : 52-57
Situation : -1200


New England -3 over Baltimore.

Because I just can't see the Pats being a one and done. And because the Ravens have been too inconsistent. And because the Pats D have played really well down the stretch.

These two teams met in October, this was the Clayton dropped ball game. If I recall, the past three times they have played the games have been pretty tight, so I'm not saying blowout. I'm just saying the Pats will find a way to win. Even without Welker I feel like Moss can be effective. If he wants too. Which I'm sure he does. It's January now. BTW the Pats are 8-0 this year ATS in Gilette Stadium. ($300)


Philly +4 over Dallas

First, the underdog is 8-3 ATS in the past 11 games. Second, is there any way the Philly offense is shut down two weeks in a row? Dallas has given up 16 points to the Eagles in 2 games, the rest of the league has given up 26+. Do the Cowboy's simply have the Eagles figured out? It seems that way. But I still don't trust the Cowboys. Beating a team three times in one season, albeit done before, is very though. Two weeks in a row is even tougher. Dallas is pretty bad in January ATS, to the tune of 3-9 in the past 12. Philly loves the field turf, they are 7-2 on it. ($250)

Green Bay +1 over Arizona

It's destined to be Farve Bowl III isn't it? Powers that be have decided this already. It's the grand plan. Farve will get buttfucked by Aaron Rodgers and his old team for treating them and the beautiful city of Green Bay like dogshit. This has to happen. It's the only reason why I'm taking Green Bay in this game. Even though they are playing pretty well and have the formula/team to beat the Cardinals. I love football. ($250)

Jets +2.5 over Cincy

Rex Ryan is fat. That's all I got.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

It's Thursday and I'm bored.

NFL Playoffs begin this weekend. I'm gonna steal a bit of EP's thunder and give you my winners, without rhyme, reason or explanation. Patriots, Bengals, Easgles and Packers.

Police won't file charges against Chris Henry's fiancee in connection with his death. "Charlotte-Mecklenburg police announced Wednesday that there was no evidence Loleini Tonga drove recklessly or with excessive speed when Henry came out of the back of her pickup truck on a curvy, residential road and suffered fatal injuries." Um, driving with someone in the bed of the truck isn't reckless? Good to know.

I said it on LOVAD and I will say it again, I hope Gil Arenas is suspended for a long time. What he did was stupid, sure. But his attitude since and clwning around about it on Tuesday night with his teammates shows he doesn't get it. Enjoy the time off, Agent Zero.

How dumb can you be?

I bet the other trucker did it.

And I'm spent.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

shamhoff style yo

since i've been too busy trying to raise a 2nd kid, I haven't had much time to keep up with anything anywhere, so today is ESPN headlines and my version of te story without reading it or doing any research.

Shanahan signs deal with redskins--Ok, I lied, I do know about this one...he's getting like $90MM for 2 years or something. Zeke was right, Shanny went for the big bucks and Snyder was dumb enough to pay him and put him in charge of everything, which was shanny's problem in denver. Expect shitty drafts, worse free agent signings and an average team skins fans. (average is better than what they are now, so there you go)

Big Unit retires after 22 seasons--Didn't know he was still pitching. Now he can move into porn and keep the same nickname. Do you think one of his teammates gave him that nickname early on after seeing him in the shower? EP likes to think that this is how he got his name. HoFer, he's like 2nd all-time in Ks

Holliday, Cards agree to 7 year deal--I thought he got traded to Philly for a bunch of prospects? He's a good player, and will be great protection for Pujols. But giving a guy who's 31 or 32 a 7 year deal???? fuck you scott Boras

Iower D stymies GA Tech in Orange Bowl--who gives a shit? glad its over

Sources: NBA weighs suspension for Arenas--I hope they weigh it in grams

Harvin AP's top offensive rookie | Cushing for D --and to think both of those guys were available when the Broncos picked Slowshon Moreno. Imagine how good Percy might be if he ever gets this disc problem fixed

FSU appeal denied; Bowden out 14 wins? --maybe he'll come out of retirement to get those 14 wins back

i'm tired of these headlines...Nuggets won despite not having Carmelo, Chauncey, Birdman, and losing Ty Lawson in the 1st half. They won because the warriors fouled JR Smith on a 40 foot jumper at the buzzer, when they were up 1. That's why they're the warriors. I'm sure it was just how Don Nelson drew it up.

a couple headlines from CNN

Cable is going to cost more--I thought Al Davis was firing him

Google reveals its new smartphone--it's not that smart, they're launching it on T-mobile

Kids beg drunk bus driver to stop--if you can't feel safe driving a bus drunk, what can you feel safe in?

OK go, this post sucked

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

TCS Semi Finals

You know the rules; or should. So go already.

Now onto business:


1) isiah thompson said...
I really wish TCU and Boise St played a "major" power and not each other, I'd like to see how they do, this game will not satisfy anyone.

January 4, 2010 8:13 PM


Truer words.....

2) The announcer FOX had for that game was horrible. He got most calls wrong and also randomly stopped in the middle of sentences.

3) Boise State cheerleaders are pretty much orca fat. Sorry, but there should be a limit. I think one girl was over 200lbs.

4) Boring ass game. Neither team looked very good on O. Hard to say that the defenses were that good.

5) TCUs coach sweats a lot. Especially for someone who just walks everywhere.

6) Jimmy Johnson at halftime had no clue who was playing or what they were playing for. I think he was filling in for someone.

7) It is cold in temhio.

8) I change my battery about every 5 years, maybe more. I think the one in my Elantra lasted 7.

9) The effort here has been poor all around.

10) This post is poor.

Monday, January 04, 2010

I'm just not that into it

Bengals had a nice plan last night. Don't show up or run any professional plays. Then next week when they play the Jets again. they'll be totally unprepared. Looks like the Cardinal's* had the same plan. I hope it fucks them over, though. I'm tired of all the sudden "lifelong" Card's* fans that have suddenly appeared here. Here, meaning the PHX, not LoV.

LP did better on his Friday picks than I would have thought.

Beth won the pick 'em league. She should take over the Friday football picks.

tOSU beat the Ducks. It was a good game. Pryor didn't look like a ratard. Blount did look like a ratard.

Tesus had a great game. Showing all the pro teams that he can, in fact, throw the ball. (S)

Wes Welker is keeping O:FB in 5th gear.

I don't know if this has been posted before. But I'm glad LP posted his reaction to the Giants losing in the playoffs last year...

And if has been posted already, fuck it, I didn't read it.

Softball suckt last night. Playoff game and we were up 12-2 and lost 16-15. not good times. We lose more games when we have a 10 run lead than we win. ns

Friday, January 01, 2010

El Pad's Weekly Betting Guide

Happy New Year guys. May we all prosper, grow and get rich.
Cashing checks and breaking necks.

This decade sucked.
Think about all the shit that has happened. Bank bailouts, war, jon and kate plus 8, terrorism, 9/11, obama, britney spears, tiger woods, mets lose 2000 World Series then 2006 blew it all then blew everything else, on top of that Philly won something, Boston won many things and the Knicks had the worse decade in franchise history.

The only good thing that came out of this decade was LOV was born. VIVA!

My picks have been shitty, I apologize. In the classic sink or swim scenario I'm handicapping all the games this weekend plus some Bowl Games over the next few days. I need to finish above .500 for my own sanity.

Overall : 45-49-2
Situation : (-1800)

Florida -13.5 over Cincy ($200) - Tesus last game. 56-24 Gators.
WVU -2.5 over FSU ($200) - Emotions aside the WVU team is just better.
Oregon -4 over OSU ($200) - James, Blount, Masoli, repeat.
LSU +2.5 over PSU ($200) - If the Iowa defense confused Clark, wonder what a faster SEC defense will do to him?

Cincy +10 over NYJ ($200), even if they pull starters.
Browns -1.5 over JAx ($200), the Dog Pound is back!
Chicago -3 over Det ($200), Lions have had the worse decade ever.
Atlanta -2.5 over TB ($500), Falcons are serious about that winning record.
Titans -4 over Seattle ($200), Finish strong.
Steelers -3 over Miami ($200), Always sad when defending champs miss out on playoffs.

The rest, all for $100.

Houston -8, San Fran -7, AZ -3.5, Bmore -10, Philly -3, SD -4.

Enjoy January 1st. My New Year Resolution is simply to continue to be awesome, I posted all the things that can help me be that on my blog.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino