Thursday, December 09, 2010

Random Jug

If I were a terrorist, I would like to blow up a mall. Not when its open, but when its closed and no one is there…just because it’s a mall.

I boat* a giant Hooters bag chair the other night while I was drinking out there. It can seat two people and has cup holders for 6 beers…suite!

Why is Sylvester Stallone getting inducted in the boxing hall of fame? That’s like inducting Kevin Costner into the baseball hall of fame for all his baseball movies. Any why not Carl Weathers?

I told you it was real!!!! /Rev

If I was a reporter, I would change my last name to “Source” or “Sources”. Then I would be instantly be involved in almost all stories.

Sometimes I miss Bodog…my online barber that never would break my leg with a sock full of nickels.

Sock??? /Freak

I follow Mize of Twitter but I’m not sure it’s the real Mize, because it’s not a verified profile.

The other day I told cgjitisw that I was going food shopping. She asked me if I was buying anything else other than food and I said I was. She told me I couldn’t call it food shopping if I wasn’t buying only food…and that I should call it grocery shopping. I disagree. I think I can call it food shopping since most of what I’m buying is food.

I’m listening to more Christmas music this year than I normally do.

My brother and his wife are throwing a New Years Eve party in their new house…so I’ll be throwing a Super Bowl party. Good time to break out the giant Hooters chair. I’ll have to post a pic of it soon.

I gave a press conference when I left my last yob, but no one showed up. Is it really a press conference if the press are not there?


T-Mac came back to Houston with the Pistons two nights ago…this pic always makes me laugh.

224 comments:

1 – 200 of 224   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

"I gave a press conference when I left my last yob, but no one showed up. Is it really a press conference if the press are not there?"

Good lord, didn't I already get you straight on this concept when we discussed "food" shopping????

/cgjitisw

Jugdish said...

winner

Jugdish said...

Yankee fans mad at the red sox for signing Crawford and calling them the new evil empire is funny.

Jugdish said...

i think google is trying to take over the world

Jugdish said...

got home late from the concert...1 AM. kind of dragging today (taking it slow)

Jugdish said...

uploaded a couple videos for everyone to hate

Jugdish said...

got more to upload for you to hate later.

Jugdish said...

you know how i know you're white?

/mize

Jugdish said...

im going to get some breakfast

Jugdish said...

ochocinco If our failures in life defined us as people wouldn't we all suck, example: with me being 2-9 does this define me as a person?



what does keef think about that?

Jugdish said...

and get that boom mic away from me kid!!

tem said...

Cgjitisw?

I thought they sped up?

Jugdish said...

im still going to call her that for lov purposes

Jugdish said...

wall

BLUE said...

jug got action?

did i miss this on facebook

BLUE said...

"there was an error processing this form, please try again"


fuck you blogger

Jugdish said...

jug got action?

did i miss this on facebook


it was on Lordz of Sex

BLUE said...

re: food shopping


did you buy food?

case closed

BLUE said...

"it was on Lordz of Sex"

congrats jug...i hope it was all you had dreamed of

now write tucker max type stories about it for us married types (you know what it's like)

Jugdish said...

did you buy food?

case closed


that's what i said

BLUE said...

"that's what i said"

is that when she jumped into your arms and you made mad passionate love together?

Jugdish said...

no it went like this



S

Jugdish said...

my softball team has offered cliff lee an 8th year. no money obviously, but he'd get a lot of beer and get to see some tits now and then

BLUE said...

i wouldn't want cliff lee, he can't beat the Giants, and the rockies play them like 18 times next season

Beth said...

"no it went like this"

Wow, that's what EVERY time is like for me!!

/steve

Jugdish said...

obama

Jugdish said...

wall

Todd Packer said...

stern staying on sirius for 5 more years... suite

Kiss the ring said...

yikes... nice pic, h

BLUE said...

damn rex ryan really lost some weight

Kiss the ring said...

"Rumors: Chris Petersen's shot at Florida job"


that wouldn't be terrible

BLUE said...

he'd be a good fit there I think.

kind of like when Urb showed up from Utar

BLUE said...

i'm still hoping that spurrier goes back

El Padrino said...

sports news has been busy

El Padrino said...

i heard the urb news in the hospital and one of the nurses came into the tv area, stopped, saw the presser, looked at me (only one in the room) and said "Again? What a wussy."

ns

thought that was suite
considering she was like 50

Kiss the ring said...

"i'm still hoping that spurrier goes back"

love to see the obc come back

Kiss the ring said...

"thought that was suite
considering she was like 50"

nurses are smat*

Kiss the ring said...

"kind of like when Urb showed up from Utar"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Jugdish said...

How's your son ep?

Jugdish said...

wall

Jugdish said...

wally world

Spaceman Spiff said...

fuck black bill stoneman

IN YOU FACE Arte 2 years in a row

Keef said...

"what does keef think about that?"


The team is 2-9. 85 is not 2-9. The team is a failure

Jugdish said...

ochocinco What an awesome lunch today in the cafeteria, I think management should make us starve until we win a game, what y'all think?


what does keef think about that?

Keef said...

they should only starve Carson & Marvin

BLUE said...

management should hire the same guys that fed randy moss his last meal in Minneapolis

Keef said...

goddamn dogs drive me crazy. I put out a fresh bowl of water and they still go over & drink out of the pool.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"RonRon is disappointed. "I wanted [Griffin] to dunk on me. I wanted to see what it felt like.""

BLUE said...

""RonRon is disappointed. "I wanted [Griffin] to dunk on me. I wanted to see what it felt like.""


he'll have 3 more chances this year

tem said...

Dogs lost their tennis ball in the goddman pool, they are going to drink that damn pool water til that ball turns up

Spaceman Spiff said...

top chef 2 for 2 in heated eliminations

tem said...

Top chef should have to do a kraft mac n cheese dish

Spaceman Spiff said...

roasted a chicken last night, keller recipe, was awesome, i will stop shitting on him for now

tem said...

Goddman katzingers for lunch. 12.50 for a sammich.

tem said...

Line out the fucking door. I should have told lunch people to go fuck themselves when they said katzingers

tem said...

Nereve seen top chef, don't even know what channel it is on. Or when. Or how often.

BLUE said...

"Top chef should have to do a kraft mac n cheese dish"


i always wanted to see Iron Chef do a hotdog challenge

BLUE said...

carl crawford is not aware of O:FB

BLUE said...

or maybe he is very aware

Jugdish said...

yanks just upped their offer for lee to include a family snuggie

BLUE said...

i would still wreck lindsay lohan

i'd double bag it, but i'd hit it

BLUE said...

"yanks just upped their offer for lee to include a family snuggie"

and a double sized hooters chair

BLUE said...

the chair holds six beers

Jugdish said...

the chair holds six beers



i hear that's a myth

Jugdish said...

i'd double bag it, but i'd hit it



she'd double bag your face

BLUE said...

maybe i'd double bag her face

Jugdish said...

that's a lot of bags

Jugdish said...

blue and lohan

BLUE said...

RIP frank drebin

BLUE said...

sterger camp seeks quick end to Favre case?


really?

really?

i mean really?

Jugdish said...

just another way for him to stick around a little longer

Jugdish said...

i still want to get on his mailing list

/Lp

Jugdish said...

keef's face

BLUE said...

walll

Spaceman Spiff said...

dat ass

Jugdish said...

that what keef's face was for

Jugdish said...

that what keef's face was for


response to "wall", not "dat ass"

Jugdish said...

wall

H said...

"i would still wreck lindsay lohan

i'd double bag it, but i'd hit it"

^That

H said...

I'm taking cghis to see some Christmas lights tomorrow night. It's gonna be chilly.

H said...

I'm not commenting on Carl Crawford until I see a press conference at Fenway with him holding a Sox jersey.

H said...

Or wearing one.

Jugdish said...

the Red Yankees

H said...

Can't beat 'em, join 'em

H said...

So LOV experts, what is the best way for me to tell my buddy I'm seeing a girl he dated for a couple months?

Jugdish said...

take it slow


/jug

tem said...

"So LOV experts, what is the best way for me to tell my buddy I'm seeing a girl he dated for a couple months?"


tell him about the simpson's episode where it happened

tem said...

how often do you see the buddy? because if you and him were good friends and he really liked the girl then you and him aren't going to be good friends anymore.

tem said...

if he didn't really like her then you can just tell him over beers and it'll be cool.

H said...

He really liked her

BLUE said...

"So LOV experts, what is the best way for me to tell my buddy I'm seeing a girl he dated for a couple months?"

tweet a picture of you boning her

BLUE said...

change your status on facebook

BLUE said...

put it on your wall and see if he notices

Jugdish said...

bros before hos aitch

BLUE said...

call him up really late at night and say "do you still miss (insert girl's name?"

"yes"

"do you want to talk to her, i just finished fucking her" (hand her the phone)

BLUE said...

how long ago did they date?

BLUE said...

did they have sex?

BLUE said...

these are all pertinent questions

BLUE said...

h: "i just saw (insert girl's name) the other day, do you know who she's dating now"

friend: "no, who"

h: (pointing thumbs at himself) "this guy"

H said...

the thing is they still work together, so once he finds out he could make work hell for her

H said...

"how long ago did they date?"

She ended things in February. They were never officially together.

Jugdish said...

the thing is they still work together, so once he finds out he could make work hell for her


ill have him fired

/blue

Jugdish said...

She ended things in February. They were never officially together.


then there was nothing to end

/keef

BLUE said...

buy him tickets to the patriots game...when gameday comes text him and tell him that you can't make it, you're too busy having sex with the girl.

he'll be sad because you're boning his girl, but he'll be happy because he's at the pats game

Jugdish said...

he'll be sad because you're boning his girl, but he'll be happy because he's at the pats game


and that he's in chicago

tem said...

"He really liked her"

then i would never tell him. whenever you do you won't be friends with him anymore.

Jugdish said...

i just say you and this chick get a Christmas card photo done and mail one to him

tem said...

and then you'll end up breaking it off with the girl and you'll be friends with neither of them.

Keef said...

"Goddman katzingers for lunch. 12.50 for a sammich."


katzingers is ok

Jugdish said...

typical for berkeley

Keef said...

"carl crawford is not aware of O:FB

or maybe he is very aware"


He is aware. He's getting mad cash to go there and be awful

Keef said...

"yanks just upped their offer for lee to include a family snuggie"


I'd need two of those family snuggies

/rev

Keef said...

2 might fit rev

Keef said...

"dat ass"


fucking grate*

Keef said...

"I'm taking cghis to see some Christmas lights tomorrow night. It's gonna be chilly."



awesome

s

Keef said...

"h: "i just saw (insert girl's name) the other day, do you know who she's dating now"

friend: "no, who"

h: (pointing thumbs at himself) "this guy""



That made me laugh

H said...

"awesome

s"

Not the most fun thing in the world for me, but she loves Christmas lights and there is a huge display in my hometown. She likes lights. I like getting laid. One will lead to the other,

Jugdish said...

wear your santa suit

Beth said...

"then i would never tell him. whenever you do you won't be friends with him anymore"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Jugdish said...

take her to the zoo...instant ass


/mize

tem said...

beth knows

tem said...

stereotypical jewish guy in the small conference room next to my office saying very stereotypical jewish things.

i should tape this shit.

H said...

She doesn't want me to tell him yet. I don't want to sneak around. This is not going to end well

H said...

Keef, did you decide what you're getting for csil?

BLUE said...

"She doesn't want me to tell him yet. I don't want to sneak around. This is not going to end well'

if it ends in you getting laid, what do you care

BLUE said...

you never told us how good of a buddy

like plays bass in your new band good

like plays halo reach online against you from across town

like you'd name your sister's kid after him?

H said...

already crossed that bridge, Blue. I'm not Jug or Tem.

Jugdish said...

are you really friends with this guy, or is it just an acquaintance?

H said...

pretty good friends.

Jugdish said...

already crossed that bridge, Blue. I'm not Jug or Tem.



bridges suck

/jug

BLUE said...

"already crossed that bridge, Blue. I'm not Jug or Tem."

keeps getting you laid then

Spaceman Spiff said...

"She doesn't want me to tell him yet. I don't want to sneak around. This is not going to end well"

how is that sneaking around do you see him all the time and he brings her up every time you see him?

Spaceman Spiff said...

if you are so worried about being a nice guy and good friend why are you fucking her

fuck her and be happy about it or find another chick

H said...

I see him at least once a week. And I can't have anything show up on facebook cuz he like stalks her page.

H said...

And good point, Spiff. I must say.

H said...

Guess I'm just an asshole.

Spaceman Spiff said...

opponent in my other league is starting tennessees defense tonight WFT? suite

BLUE said...

i agree with spiff, you can't unfuck her, so obviously the friendship wasn't that big of a deal to you..or you're a douche

BLUE said...

but if the friendship means anything you don't hold out and keep it a secret...he's a man he can take it


i was on the other end of a similar situation in collitch

Jugdish said...

ive always operated on the friend's exs being off limits

BLUE said...

i'd dated this chick for a few months, we broke up but she was seriously my best friend so we stayed close, did the fb thing.

then a year later, I find out she's been dating one of my pals for the last 3 months and they were too afraid to tell me because i'd be upset.

fuck that, I didn't give a shit. I would have said good for him. It would have been uncomfortable the first few times for sure, but dude I knew it wasn't happening between me and the chick.

But...i was pissed that they tried to hide it from me instead of owning up and being good friends and just telling me.

BLUE said...

long story short...i was never friends with him again really

her and I still talk about once a week.

Jugdish said...

but its a little late for that advice...so what blue said. tell him the soon. it doesn't do any good to wait

tem said...

"This is not going to end well"

^^^^

BLUE said...

"ive always operated on the friend's exs being off limits"


that's not excmjug's policy


(s)

BLUE said...

wADR

Jugdish said...

that's not excmjug's policy



who told you that?

s

BLUE said...

"who told you that?"


mize

BLUE said...

i'm not here to talk about the past

H said...

My buddy wants me to start selling insurance. Thinks I'd make a killing

Jugdish said...

its 100% commission right?

i have a friend who does that...sells to seniors (like tp). he sets his own work hours and seems to do well.

H said...

i believe so. I think I could do it, but anything that is 100% commission is obviously risky

BLUE said...

100% commission is better than 100% tip

Jugdish said...

young mize

Jugdish said...

wall

Keef said...

"Keef, did you decide what you're getting for csil?"

nope. cmk gave me some idears

H said...

Is there a single worse person you could have gotten stuck with? NS

BLUE said...

young jug

Jugdish said...

older blue

BLUE said...

which one is jug

BLUE said...

jug's cool beard

Jugdish said...

blue's youtube confessions

Keef said...

"Is there a single worse person you could have gotten stuck with? NS"



You. You'd just end up fucking it

s

tem said...

blue would be worse, he already has everything or the means to get anything he wants.

H said...

"You. You'd just end up fucking it

s"

This legitimately made me EL-OH-EL.

Keef said...

csil is a health nut so I'll just get her some vitamins or something

Jugdish said...

give her an autographed pitcure of your face



s

Keef said...

I'm loving this attention today

/h

Keef said...

"give her an autographed pitcure of your face"

I could give her an autographed pic of your face

Jugdish said...

she already has one of those

Jugdish said...

its part of the franklin mint LOV collection

Keef said...

I have a bunch of franklin mint beisbol plates from when I was in hike school. I should sell those

Spaceman Spiff said...

"The Angels' offer to Carl Crawford was $108 m. over 6 years,or $18 m. a year. Which means the Red Sox offer was much higher."

fucking idiots

Keef said...

or I guess see if they're werth anything

BLUE said...

is this what she told you to take it slow jug

Keef said...

Orioles acquire Hardy, Harris in trade with Twins



congrats, kod

Jugdish said...

blue in his pac 10 poon days


rip pac 10 poon

BLUE said...

excmjug?

Jugdish said...

haha

Jugdish said...

blue celebrating a win

BLUE said...

D'OH

Jugdish said...

blue misses cutler

Spaceman Spiff said...

jug your boy

thats gotta be devastating

Jugdish said...

photoshopped

BLUE said...

jug's other boy

Keef said...

blue & jug are sittin in a tree

Keef said...

doing n-o-t-h-i-n-g

Jugdish said...

wall

Jugdish said...

i hate when i forget my cell phone at home

H said...

I am not an attention whore

Keef said...

neither is csil

Mize said...

Whores

Mize said...

I need to pack for up north tonight

Keef said...

smile


nsfw probably

I'll Show You How to Pitch said...

damn, I thought I was getting a huge raise today, turns out I was wrong


woe


On the plus side, I am now a proud member of the jelly of the month club

I'll Show You How to Pitch said...

this Community episode is the ghey

H said...

Keef, why is it everyone else can tell stories about what's going on in their world, but when I do it I'm called an attention whore? NS.

Mize said...

Keith secretly hates his life.

tem said...

block

tem said...

terrible block

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 224   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino