Wednesday, December 15, 2010

10 days until Christmas

or some variation thereof.

some people ran away from Iraq in a bought* and crashed it into Australia. Never trust desert people with boats. Also, maybe they weren't seeking asylum maybe they were just going on vacation.

Millions of fans are pissed that Favre didn't get the cortisone shot so he could play and keep his streak alive. They're not pissed because he didn't play, they were holding out hope he'd have a stroke when he got the shot.

vikings and bears are going to play outside at the screaming eagles new stadium. Should be fun. I hope they have insurance on that metrodome, otherwise that might be a costly repair. I think it would be cool to make that phonecall to the insurance company though. "yes, i'd like to put in a claim on a building I own, the roof collapsed" "which building" "yeah it was the metrodome, we just need a couple new trashbags sewn into the ceiling and we'll be good."

As i notated on monday, the broncos suck, kyle orton sucks (he might be your next QB kod), and eric stupidsville sucks. Football has been a disaster this year for me, woe.

Today blue gets to go help at some homeless charity shelter for battered women or something. He's hoping something comes up and is too busy to go, but that's unlikely.

I found a new website call boobcritic.com, it's kind of like guesshermuff, but for tits. Except most the tits suck, so don't go to that website.

Carry on my wayward sons.

272 comments:

1 – 200 of 272   Newer›   Newest»
tem said...

"Today blue gets to go help at some homeless charity shelter "


punch someone for me. /tp

BLUE said...

if it wasn't all women I'd be punching away

Beth said...

"Today blue gets to go help at some homeless charity shelter "

Court ordered service hours are the worse*

BLUE said...

i wish it were court ordered. that would mean i'd have done something fun to get ordered

tem said...

wvu hiring a new coach isn't getting much national attention.

BLUE said...

wvu didn't hire a new coach...they picked one to coach after next season...that's the ghey

tem said...

thats what texas did, worked out well for them.

tem said...

penn state did it in 1986 too, but the guy got tired of waiting for jo pa.

tem said...

The Brooklyn New Yorkers??

ysc?

BLUE said...

it's like the philadelphia phillies

it works

I'll Show You How to Pitch said...

ysc?


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^



but at least, that will mean the Minnesota Wild is no longer the stupidest team name in pro sports

El Padrino said...

i wanna stab cliff lee in the face with a serrated bread knife then tie him to a chair and make him watch me fist his wife

tem said...

why would you fist her?

why wouldn't you just fuck her?

He didn't take it slow said...

i wanna stab cliff lee in the face with a serrated bread knife then tie him to a chair and make him watch me fist his wife



those tiny little fists of fury


s

He didn't take it slow said...

Christmas song

El Padrino said...

beff since you've seen like, a kajillion cocks, you prefer circumsized one right?

El Padrino said...

"why wouldn't you just fuck her?"

cuz im married

El Padrino said...

and i want to defile her and clifford

El Padrino said...

fuck the phillies, they are old as fuck anyway and the window is closing

rollins is junk since 08, utley is a punk bitch who gets hurt, howard posted his lowest ops ever, werth is gone, ibanez is like 90 he'll go away soon

next year they will be great but after that, DECLINE

write it down

El Padrino said...

cole hammels is overated

good luck playing cliff lee 25MM in 2014 when your 25 games under .500 fuck nuts

El Padrino said...

kod did we have a standing standard bet going or no

cool if no just wondering

El Padrino said...

gonna be like 0 degrees when they play outdoors

BLUE said...

or they could win 130 games each of the next 3 years

El Padrino said...

ziggy is happy, might actually squeeze a new joint out of this

El Padrino said...

or they could win 130 games each of the next 3 years

stop it

El Padrino said...

did you know that oakland university is not in oakland , ca

El Padrino said...

i see you nets, trying to sweete the melo pot

back off

El Padrino said...

Lee: 'A lot of pros' to rejoining Phillies


what does that even mean

He didn't take it slow said...

michigan?

He didn't take it slow said...

michigan?

that was RE to oakland university

BLUE said...

"what does that even mean"

pro is short for professional. so that means there are a lot of professionals (guys who get paid to play the sport) on the team.

which is good, he didn't want to join the a team with a bunch of amateurs.

I think this was meant to explain why he turned down the 8 years and 80 beers offer from Jug's softball team.

I'll Show You How to Pitch said...

kod did we have a standing standard bet going or no


not that I'm aware of....but we might. I lose so many bets here it's hard to keep track (ns)

I'll Show You How to Pitch said...

"ziggy is happy, might actually squeeze a new joint out of this"


it definitely upped the ante; now Ziggy can move the team without looking like the owners in Seattle with the Sonics

He didn't take it slow said...

I think this was meant to explain why he turned down the 8 years and 80 beers offer from Jug's softball team.



dammit

I'll Show You How to Pitch said...

I think this was meant to explain why he turned down the 8 years and 80 beers offer from Jug's softball team.


oh, and that was definitely hilarity there (ns)

Beth said...

"beff since you've seen like, a kajillion cocks, you prefer circumsized one right?"

Depends what we're doing. Yes if it's a bj but I don't care if it's anything else.

And the correct number is a brazilian, not a kajillion.

I'll Show You How to Pitch said...

"Just trying to determine which guy best fits us at this stage," Frazier said. "Because it's probably going to be a guy who may very well find himself playing in that Monday night ball game."

That reportedly includes journeyman Patrick Ramsey.

Ramsey's agent, Jimmy Sexton, told the St. Paul Pioneer Press on Tuesday that the Vikings contacted his client about a workout."


ahahahahaha; what, Spurgyn Wynn wasn't available?

El Padrino said...

"Depends what we're doing. Yes if it's a bj but I don't care if it's anything else."

bj's are awesome

El Padrino said...

michigan?

that was RE to oakland university

yes

Beth said...

Ep, you didn't tell us about your 2nd job as Director of Marketing for this company.


(SFW except for the name.)

El Padrino said...

yankees went to martin because half black half white thing i guess

cuz i thought the kid was legit

El Padrino said...

hilarity beff

El Padrino said...

member how we talked about like, who decided to eat a shrimp, etc

who the fuck decided to lop off penis skin, i saw one live, it was horrifying

they have a tool like a thimble, with extremely sharp edges and you can picture from there what happens

BLUE said...

"who the fuck decided to lop off penis skin, i saw one live, it was horrifying"

the jews

BLUE said...

"It has been variously proposed that circumcision began as a religious sacrifice, an offering to ensure fertility, a tribal mark, a rite of passage, an attempt to emphasize masculinity, a means of humiliating enemies and slaves,[15] or as a hygienic measure.[15][16]"

that kind of takes care of it all right?

BLUE said...

"an attempt to emphasize masculinity"


that's why I had it done

/beth

El Padrino said...

"that kind of takes care of it all right?"

gollum says why mess with gods creation

He didn't take it slow said...

a means of humiliating enemies and slaves,[15]


that's what i used it for

/blue

He didn't take it slow said...

walk away keef

El Padrino said...

Russell Nathan Jeanson Coltrane Martin, Jr.

the fuck

tem said...

" or as a hygienic measure"

^

BLUE said...

"Russell Nathan Jeanson Coltrane Martin, Jr."

a) his parents are french canadian

2) his dad was some big jazz musician or something

El Padrino said...

sounds like a scam

El Padrino said...

a) his parents are french canadian

this has to be the worse

Beth said...

"sounds like a scam"

El padfast.

El Padrino said...

'People call me possessed': Boy who weeps BLOOD baffles doctors...

El Padrino said...

El padfast.

not fair

tem said...

"'People call me possessed': Boy who weeps BLOOD baffles doctors..."

he probably shouldn't cry then.

seems kind of obvious. his tear ducts are fucked up and blood leaks into them.

Beth said...

Dr. Tem

Spaceman Spiff said...

kinda obvious, he's the son of the villain in casino royale

*fized

Kiss the ring said...

nice cliff lee hate, ep

Kiss the ring said...

watched the whole muschamp presser last night... he's kind of a goof ball

Kiss the ring said...

no timetable on picking an OC or DC.... not a good plan

Todd Packer said...

thanks for ending the rex pic, h

Beth said...

"watched the whole muschamp presser last night... he's kind of a goof ball"

He's a UGA plant sent to infiltrate and keep the UF program down.

s

Todd Packer said...

"if it wasn't all women I'd be punching away"


good for you, blue

El Padrino said...

havent been following but i heard that muschamp name before, i know he's the uf guy but where is he from

Todd Packer said...

"He's a UGA plant sent to infiltrate and keep the UF program down."

he said playing for uga was a "momentary lapse in judgment"

Keef said...

phillies won't be in the WS in 2011. Let's bet again, rev

Todd Packer said...

"havent been following but i heard that muschamp name before, i know he's the uf guy but where is he from"

texas DC (head coach in waiting)... he's a saban guy, been with auburn, lsu and the phins

Beth said...

"he said playing for uga was a "momentary lapse in judgment"

Well of course he did, he's got millions of reasons to say that now.

El Padrino said...

"texas DC (head coach in waiting)... he's a saban guy, been with auburn, lsu and the phins"

yes, yes, i remember
i guess he didnt want to wait under mack

Todd Packer said...

"Well of course he did, he's got millions of reasons to say that now."

yeah, he was making a joke.... he said he tried to play for florida, but spurrier wanted no part of him. he actually said that he came down to gainesville with his dad for a meeting and spurrier stood him up because he was having a grate* day on the golf course and didn't want to leave

Todd Packer said...

muschamp said he wanted to bring a team pastor.... strike 1

El Padrino said...

oh snap xmas party tonight

say word

El Padrino said...

"muschamp said he wanted to bring a team pastor.... strike 1"

trying to recruit another tesus

Beth said...

"he said he tried to play for florida, but spurrier wanted no part of him"

Ok, I was wondering why if he was such a huge UF fan growing up like he was claiming that he played for UGA and not UF. That explains it.

Keef said...

how's the boy, lp

El Padrino said...

An Akron man suffered severe head injuries after police said he was attacked by his brother, who wielded a crowbar during a fight ignited over a half-eaten piece of fried chicken.

suite

He didn't take it slow said...

thanks P90X

Todd Packer said...

"Ok, I was wondering why if he was such a huge UF fan growing up like he was claiming that he played for UGA and not UF. That explains it."

also, his family moved to georgia when he was in HS, so uga was local and cheaper than out of state tuition

He didn't take it slow said...

An Akron man suffered severe head injuries after police said he was attacked by his brother, who wielded a crowbar during a fight ignited over a half-eaten piece of fried chicken.



Is Lp getting a week's pass on all el padcumfast?

Todd Packer said...

you back to work, ep?

Keef said...

"Is Lp getting a week's pass on all el padcumfast?"

It would be the same if he was here

Todd Packer said...

"It would be the same if he was here"

good point

He didn't take it slow said...

Yankees sign prior to minor league deal and now eyeing Big Z is funny

tem said...

i think the yankees are looking at signing Eddie Harris and Rick Vaughn

Keef said...

you just made that up

He didn't take it slow said...

and the duke

El Padrino said...

you back to work, ep?

yes

El Padrino said...

"Yankees sign prior to minor league deal and now eyeing Big Z is funny"

him and kerry wood can anchor the staff now

Spaceman Spiff said...

"NYG WR Steve Smith to miss remainder of season with knee injury"

El Padrino said...

motherfuck

El Padrino said...

he was his only damn catch

Keef said...

sotp

Keef said...

"he was his only damn catch"


::ebonics::

He didn't take it slow said...

obama and kobe talking trash


obama: you know derrick rose may have your number

kobe: well if he calls that number I'll be sure to pick it up after the 5th ring


IN YOU FACE obama!

Spaceman Spiff said...

eltardo doing live diary/chat for celtics/knicks game tonight

El Padrino said...

terrifying, knicks aint all that yet, getting too much pub for a skinny winning streak

Spaceman Spiff said...

you gonna go to a knicks playoff game EP?

El Padrino said...

"you gonna go to a knicks playoff game EP?"

baby steps spiff, baby steps

El Padrino said...

stout is fucking awesome though

El Padrino said...

if they get melo i will crap my pants, live

if the nets get him i will fist cliff lee's wife with a boxing glove

El Padrino said...

damn i remember when xmas parties were at a hall or a hotel ballroom

now we get a irish pub on pearl st.

maybe we can get the secretary drunk and play with her MASSIVE jugs

El Padrino said...

i wanna slapbox those things

Spaceman Spiff said...

"i wanna slapbox those things"

this calls for a repost of this

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Vikings fans are being asked to help dig out the University of Minnesota campus stadium in time for Monday night's Vikings game with the Chicago Bears."

do it kod

"The school will even provide the shovels if necessary."

thats nice of them

Spaceman Spiff said...

jolie ass

El Padrino said...

damn suite ass

zeke would love that

Spaceman Spiff said...

hilarity

El Padrino said...

man bosh gives sam cassel a run for his money in the ugly dept.

Keef said...

how's the boy, lp

tem said...

"and the duke"

he was already a yankee...did he leave?

El Padrino said...

"how's the boy, lp"

still at hosp but catching on real good lately, could be home very very soon, ahik

Keef said...

zach duke is with the Dbags

Keef said...

"still at hosp but catching on real good lately, could be home very very soon, ahik"


good to hear

Keef said...

or read, i guess

El Padrino said...

everytime i look at indian food i think of baby shit

El Padrino said...

thanks

El Padrino said...

did you text me a giant snow dong last night keef?

BLUE said...

bosh is a loser

Keef said...

no

Keef said...

wft, mize axes me if I text him some titties and LP axes if I text him a snow dong. Do you guys have caller ID?

Beth said...

"still at hosp but catching on real good lately, could be home very very soon, ahik"

There was no "if" in that statement EP...

BLUE said...

"he was already a yankee...did he leave?"

they let him go in free agency after he threw at his kid

BLUE said...

"wft, mize axes me if I text him some titties and LP axes if I text him a snow dong. Do you guys have caller ID?"


doesn't that say something about you?

Keef said...

"doesn't that say something about you?"


say what?

El Padrino said...

"wft, mize axes me if I text him some titties and LP axes if I text him a snow dong. Do you guys have caller ID?"

some 808 #, i dont have your #
thought you had mine

google says 808 is hawaii

the fuck

tem said...

"still at hosp but catching on real good "

did you offer to show him how to breast feed? kind of like your first father/son lesson?

lp: whip em out cmlp, gotta show jr how its done

El Padrino said...

i bought fluff yesterday

first time in 10 years, i can eat a fluffernutter now

El Padrino said...

"did you offer to show him how to breast feed? kind of like your first father/son lesson?

lp: whip em out cmlp, gotta show jr how its done"


negative, cmlp not a fan

tem said...

"negative, cmlp not a fan"

i am pretty sure 100% of baby boys who don't breast feed become raging homos.

El Padrino said...

"i am pretty sure 100% of baby boys who don't breast feed become raging homos."

that is not science

(was gonna say i wasnt breastfed, which i wasnt, but I dont want to walk into a joke)

El Padrino said...

if a baby girl is breastfed she becomes a lezbo?

tem said...

"that is not science

(was gonna say i wasnt breastfed, which i wasnt, but I dont want to walk into a joke)"

so it is science, got it.

tem said...

"if a baby girl is breastfed she becomes a lezbo?"


no, that's crazy talk.

El Padrino said...

"so it is science, got it."

walked into it anyway

well played

Keef said...

"some 808 #, i dont have your #
thought you had mine

google says 808 is hawaii

the fuck"



spiff

Keef said...

cmk got a pump, so the baby won't feed straight from the tittay

Keef said...

TMBFT

tem said...

i bet cmlp pumps and dumps or just pumps.

tem said...

don't chicks have to pump or feed?

tem said...

like if not their boobs will expand and they will float away like that house in that movie about that house that floated away.

Spaceman Spiff said...

jets guy taking the complete fall, jets blaming him for telling payers to form a wall

YS, Rex?

Keef said...

"Vikings fans are being asked to help dig out the University of Minnesota campus stadium in time for Monday night's Vikings game with the Chicago Bears."



The don't make snow plows anymore?

El Padrino said...

"cmk got a pump, so the baby won't feed straight from the tittay"

dont misremember and put your mouth on those suckers

Keef said...

I have milk in the fridge

I'll Show You How to Pitch said...

"The(y) don't make snow plows anymore?"


they run on gas, and gas costs money....I bet they don't let the shovelers walk off with the shovels

tem said...

they'll probably make the shovelers bring their own shovel.

Beth said...

"if a baby girl is breastfed she becomes a lezbo?"

Well I was only breastfed half the time if that means anything.

s

El Padrino said...

"I have milk in the fridge"

in the heat of passion

He didn't take it slow said...

ROMANCE

He didn't take it slow said...

Well I was only breastfed half the time if that means anything.



me too

/mize

He didn't take it slow said...

s

El Padrino said...

headache, work related

Todd Packer said...

"headache, work related"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Todd Packer said...

"me too

/mize"

funny

Todd Packer said...

"don't chicks have to pump or feed?"

no... if they don't breast feed they don't fill up

Todd Packer said...

"TMBFT"

yep

Todd Packer said...

might hit newer today

Spaceman Spiff said...

joe pa phone call is hilarity

if anyone missed it

El Padrino said...

cuz of me

/ep

He didn't take it slow said...

heard the joepa call yesterday...i bet his practices and pre-game speeches are funny as well

Todd Packer said...

"joe pa phone call is hilarity"

is that the call to the tampa station.... if so it was very funny. i was listening when it happened

Spaceman Spiff said...

fuck that link, the call is better without that music put in, cant find original

He didn't take it slow said...

wall


/Sal Alosi

Todd Packer said...

"/Sal Alosi"

well played

Beth said...

Speaking of:

The New York Jets have suspended Sal Alosi indefinitely after the team got "new information" that the strength and conditioning coach "instructed" five players to stand in a wall before he tripped a Dolphins player on Sunday.

El Padrino said...

Spaceman Spiff said...
jets guy taking the complete fall, jets blaming him for telling payers to form a wall

YS, Rex?

December 15, 2010 2:07 PM

El Padrino said...

reeses wins

El Padrino said...

"Brian Baldinger has a heavily mutilated right pinky finger"

gee ya think

El Padrino said...

if you have a headache eat reeses pieces cups

will go away

Keef said...

"they run on gas, and gas costs money....I bet they don't let the shovelers walk off with the shovels"

What would it take, maybe a tank of gas to do the whole field? I think the VIkings can afford $45

Keef said...

"in the heat of passion"


There you go assuming again

Spaceman Spiff said...

jug gonna love this

El Padrino said...

not youtube he wont like it

Spaceman Spiff said...

keef
"Arizona State's baseball team will vacate all of its wins from 2007 and is banned from the postseason in 2011 under NCAA sanctions for numerous violations."

Keef said...

suite

Keef said...

fucking pat murphy

Keef said...

never trust someone named pat

El Padrino said...

face packer

Keef said...

tp's gonna treat me like a homeless dude

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Inventor Alan Amron has been working on a solution for the better part of this decade. He has four patents for his First Down Laser System, which shoots a six-inch wide green laser beam across the field that can be seen on both television and in the stadium
Said Amron: “How many times do we see players that don’t even know where it is when trying to get a first down?”

players fault

"Amron said the NFL is concerned that players exposure to the laser, but he says that since the beam is slightly off the ground a player would have to [b]fall on the ground and look to the side and up in order to get a direct laser hit that could lead to eye damage.[/b] "

sounds very possible

El Padrino said...

kill that nerd

Keef said...

"He has four patents for his First Down Laser System, which shoots a six-inch wide green laser beam across the field that can be seen on both television and in the stadium"


Yeah those stupid "yard lines" are impossible to see

Keef said...

anyone watching that next great baker show with the cake boss guy?

Keef said...

he says "youz" too much

El Padrino said...

i am not but can imagine

I'll Show You How to Pitch said...

"I think the VIkings can afford $45"


you'd think; a billionaire owner calling on volunteers to shovel snow, over the holidays, during a time of record unemployment numbers not seen since the 1930s, well...


it's ghey

Todd Packer said...

"never trust someone named pat"

i agree

Todd Packer said...

"anyone watching that next great baker show with the cake boss guy?"

cake boss guy sucks

Spaceman Spiff said...

"anyone watching that next great baker show with the cake boss guy?"

thought it was awful, contestants are horrible

El Padrino said...

i hate those cake shows anyway

fondant shit

El Padrino said...

suite top chef elimination again last week

El Padrino said...

1990 Mets rotation

gooden
viola
cone
fernandez
darling

they didnt win shit and before you say viola isnt lee, viola was the best lhp in the game late eightees early nineties

El Padrino said...

convincing myself

El Padrino said...

keef any bagel preference?

everything, onion, poppy, cinn/rais

Todd Packer said...

"keef any bagel preference?

everything, onion, poppy, cinn/rais"


tuna and frozen cheese bagel would be grate*

/keith

El Padrino said...

and no they dont make a boo berry bagel

El Padrino said...

200

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