Monday, November 22, 2010

Runny* diary

American Music Awards running diary. I'm really only watching this to see Backstreet Boyz & NKOTB perform together. (S) All times are MST. I had goddman softball tonight (we won 39-4 ns), so this is via DVR.

8:00 - Apparently there isn't a host for the showThe show starts with a performance from Rihanna. Cmk says "Oh my god, I hate her. I can't stand her music". Good start to the show.
Side note: Rihanna looks pretty goddman good. But yeah, I'm not really a fan of her music either.
8:05 - 3 songs later and she's finally done. cmk: "get off the stage, bitch"
8:06 - They're introducing who's gonna be on the show, and apparently P. Diddy is now knows as Diddy Dirty Money. Fucking ratarded
8:08 - Usher wins the 1st album of the night for blackest album of the year. Good job!
Side note: I've never seen Usher not wear sunglasses. He must hang out with Tony Sparano.
8:10 - Black Eyed Peas won some pop rock award. I only mention this because Will I Am is wearing a hat that is made out of Legos. I want that hat. (NS)
Side note: BFAHIA here, but Fergie is fucking gross
8:13 - Enrique Kournikova performs his song with Pit Bull. I'm pretty sure if you have a song that Pit Bull is involved with, it's going to be a hit. He's the new Nate Dogg.
8:15 - From Pit Bull we go to a performance by Miley Cyrus. After they introduce her, cmk says Suite. cmk ♥s her some Miley. (NS) Then she sees me start typing and she says "Don't say anything mean about Miley." So I won't. But I really want to.
8:24 - I'm not typing anything now because I'm eating a Blizzard
8:26 - Taylor Swift won something. She looks like Phoebe in Friends. I hope Kanye busts in to interrupt again.
Side note: Cmk thinks Taylor Swift should eat something.
8:30 - Kid Rock is singing some awful song. Cmk says that the only way this can be saved is if he breaks into Bawitaba (sp?) right now.
Side note: My dog has giant ears
8:37 - I guess they don't have a host for the show because they need the extra time to have 2 music performances in between each award. The Black Eyed Peas are on stage now. This is really annoying.
Side note: I don't like the BEP, but I can see why they're so popular. The music itself is usually pretty catchy. It's too bad they have those awful lyrics that we have to hear.
8:39 - Katy Perry is next. Suite. I told cmk Katy Perry is probably in my top 5. She said that's fine because she's pretty cute, but her music still sucks. I can't argue that.
8:45 - Rihanna just won for blackest female artist of the year. Way to go!
8:47 - Justin Bieber performing now. Good thing for fast forward. Just as I type that, cmk says "can you FF this, please".
8:49 - Biggest cowboy hat award goes to..... Brad Paisley. WTG, Brad!!! Your genre sucks.
8:50 - Oh look, another live performance. Bon Jovi. cmk: "You can go ahead and FF this, too".
8:51 - Commercial for Winter Wipeout this week. Suite. I ♥ Wipeout.
8:55 - Goddman, Kelly Osbourne is skinny as fuck. WFT happened to her? But she's out to, wait for it, introduce the next live performance. This is at least the 10th one and we're not even halfway through the show.
Side note: This has been talked about ad nauseum here, but Pink no doubt has a giant penis that she fucks Corey Hart with every night. I wouldn't fuck Pink with LP's dick.
Is a penis like a weiner? /bglp
9:00 - Skating with the Stars? Really, ABC? Are you officially out of ideas? The only suite thing about that show is that Finkel is Einhorn is going to be one of the contestants.
9:01 - NeYo live performance. We'll FF through this.
9:02 - Oh, followed by a Taylor Swift performance. We'll keep FF.
9:03 - Nominees for pop/rock artist are.... Justin Bieber, Eminem, & Usher. One of these things doesn't belong. And JB wins. What the fuck is going on here? Eminem & Usher have more talent in their fingernail than this douche has. This shit is awful.
9:05 - Christina Aguilera on stage singing now. It's weird seeing her not rail thin. She's got thighs like what, now. And the hounds still look pretty good.
Side note: John Legend might be whiter than Wayne Brady.
9:10 - And the award for the biggest cowboy had worn by a group goes to.... Lady Antebellum. Which is weird because they were nominated for pop/rock group earlier in the show.
9:12 - Usher on stage now. He's one of the best performers of my lifetime, probably only behind MJ. (NS) If I could be any other dude for a day, it would probably be Usher. (NS) That's right, there's Usher chills in the room. (NS) But I'm not going to go so far as to say that I'd fuck him, mize.
9:18 - Another live performance. This time it's jug's least favorite band, Train. I like Train. They've had some good songs over the last 8 or 9 years. That Soul Sister song is pretty suite. Any song that uses a ukelele has to be good.
I like trains, too. /Beth
9:23 - Goddman, DVR is coat* up now. I hate having to watch commercials.
9:24 - Adult contemporary nominees are...Michael Buble, Train, and.... Lady Antebellum? WFT? How many categories can you be in?
9:27 - Performing live, it's.... KESHA!!! Fuck her stupid dollar sign. You need to have talent to pull that one off. They need to stop forcing her down our throughts*. 1) She's not hot. 2) She uses a computer to alter her voice. and 3) She's not hot.
9:35 - Santana & the singer from Bush on stage performing now. That's a weird combo. The Bush guy has a suite ponytail, too. And the song they're singing is Bang A Gong (Get it On). Just an awful performance.
9:40 - Lady Antebellum is presenting the award for the blackest male artist of the year. I'm SAS that they aren't nominated. And Usher wins. Which makes sense. He won blackest album at the beginning of the show, so of course he'd be the blackest male. WTG Usher!
9:48 - Ryan Secrest presenting artist of the year. Justin Beaver*, Eminem, Kesha, Lady Gaga, & Katy Perry are the nominees. Beaver wins artist of the year. Let that sink in. Seriously. cmk just said that music is stupid. I don't get it. Who votes on this shit?
9:52 - Final performance of the night is New Kids & Backstreet Boys. I'm somewhat intrigued. The only question I have is, was Backstreet the 1st group that was axed to join NKOTB, or did NSync & 98° get axed first and politely decline?
Side note: Marky Mark's brother thinks that he's such a pimp. It's hilarity to watch.
Show's over. Don't forget to tip your server.

194 comments:

Beth said...

Nice running diary keef. I especially enjoyed hearing cmk's comments.

(both statements are NS)

tem said...

Indeed good post

El Padrino said...

love these posts

tem said...

aren't the american music awards just based on record/album sales?

Keef said...

The team we played last night was the worse* team I've ever seen. 1st baseman missed every ball that was thrown at him. (ns) I batted 8 times in 6 innings. And we were visitors, so during the bottom of the last inning we're in the field and it starts raining, and then a little harder, and then it was pouring so hard that they canceled the rest of the games because the fields were unplayable. But we still had to finish our game. It would have been 39-0 probably if it didn't start raining, ahik*

El Padrino said...

must have been fun

Keef said...

"aren't the american music awards just based on record/album sales?"

I don't think so. Lady Antebellum gave away an award and the chick said that the 3 of them each voted for a different nominee in that category

Keef said...

Fuck the Bengals

Keef said...

Terry Collins, LP? Thoughts

Keef said...

Un-suite

Keef said...

congrats on winning the mls cup, blue

El Padrino said...

they were created by Dick Clark

Keef said...

natty

El Padrino said...

he decides all labels

El Padrino said...

"Terry Collins, LP? Thoughts"

anyone but Melvin

Keef said...

"they were created by Dick Clark"

Who?

Keef said...

"they were created by Dick Clark"


It's weiner Clark, daddy

/bglp

El Padrino said...

"they were created by Dick Clark"

Who?"

AMA's were created by Dick Clark

why i dont know, maybe something to do with american bandstand?

El Padrino said...

"aren't the american music awards just based on record/album sales?"

That would be the Billboard awards

El Padrino said...

AMA's are a popularity contest, voted by fans and shit like that

El Padrino said...

sort of like the MLB All Star game

El Padrino said...

explains why bieber won everything

El Padrino said...

he's quite popular, ask freak

Keef said...

LP
we're betting OSU/UM, no?

Keef said...

straight up


s

Keef said...

The line is probably going to be about 17

tem said...

i see, fan voted, online.

I ♥ nuts said...

"we're betting OSU/UM, no?"

lots of good games this weekend... 1,2 and 4 all play semi-tough games on friday

Keef said...

Where's gameday this week? OSU/OU?

I ♥ nuts said...

ou/ok state
osu/mich
nd/usc
uf/fsu
uga/ga tech
mich state/penn state
lsu/ark
sc/clemson

I ♥ nuts said...

"Where's gameday this week? OSU/OU?"

yep

I ♥ nuts said...

iron bowl should be solid... i think auburn it going to lose

I ♥ nuts said...

i'm hoping nevada will beat boise state, but i doubt it

I ♥ nuts said...

"Terry Collins, LP? Thoughts"

not happy... backman should of* got the job

I ♥ nuts said...

went shopping with sotp and dotp while cmtp was working yesterday. had to pick up some winter clothes for our trip to CM tomorrow.... spent way too much and cmtp freaked when she got home.... i think she is bringing some shit back today.... the nice part about it is next time we need to do some clothes shopping for the kids she won't ask me again. i did this once before about 8 years ago and she hasn't asked me to take the kids shopping since... this should cover me for a while

El Padrino said...

LP
we're betting OSU/UM, no?

yes

El Padrino said...

tp is a genius

I ♥ nuts said...

"love these posts"

yeah, nice work keith and cmk.... runny* diaries are always good

I ♥ nuts said...

sotp got a purple jesus jersey ($50) and dotp got some ugly ass boots ($70).... those two items are probably gone today

I ♥ nuts said...

sotp got some jeans that were buy 1 get the other pair for 1/2 off... we didn't buy the other pair instead we bought a different brand... cmtp will fix that today too... sotp/dotp will be pissed when they get home from school today... i'll blame it all on cmtp and spend most of the NY trip on the corch*

El Padrino said...

did she give you "I have to do everything line"

I ♥ nuts said...

uf won ugly in bball yesterday... either morehead state is OK or uf stinks

I ♥ nuts said...

"did she give you "I have to do everything line"

more than once

El Padrino said...

TSA patdown leaves man crying, covered in urine

I ♥ nuts said...

just checked the weather... possibility of snow on friday, ep?

El Padrino said...

"did she give you "I have to do everything line"

more than once"

hate that fucking line

El Padrino said...

"just checked the weather... possibility of snow on friday, ep?"

no shot

El Padrino said...

skies too warm leading up to the rain

rain on tgiving blows

thank god im stayin local

El Padrino said...

what hotel you camping the packers in?

El Padrino said...

I am deathly afraid for the NYC homeless this week......who are VERY agressive because of tourists

El Padrino said...

eli kilt me last night with the awkward dive slide

cant defend him on that one, dude lookt* like steve's dad trying to slide into home

El Padrino said...

goofball

even peyton laughed at that shit

El Padrino said...

fucking iggles aint shit, shows how fucking horrible wash played

El Padrino said...

vince young career over

he's a headcase, injury prone, dumb ass

El Padrino said...

and fisher is tired of that shit

El Padrino said...

did i tell you guys we have a REV in my office, aka Paul Berra looking dood*

he puts 4 Splenda's in his coffee, when he orders eggs in the morning he gets 4 eggs, bacon, mayo, lettuce/tomato hero OR 4 eggs over easy home fries, extra bacon no toast

he puts two of those hotel square butters on on slice of toast, he drinks "fresh orange juice" in the morning (cept it's Fanta)

im half waiting for him to have a heart attack at his desk, NS

El Padrino said...

gets a tuna hero sometimes for lunch but asks for extra mayo (even though tuna is mixed with mayo)

douses hot sauce on all chinese food orders to the point of, you don't even know what he's eating it's just red

he's a fucking slob

between him and the gollum eating garlic and bread sandwitch*'es I wanna kill my self

El Padrino said...

serious eats turned me down

:(

tem said...

half waiting? what does that even mean?

tem said...

el pad office rev sounds like a simpsons ep.

El Padrino said...

"half waiting? what does that even mean?"

means i'm half waiting, half not

I ♥ nuts said...

"what hotel you camping the packers in?"

staying at my brother's place... upper east side... we'll spend most of our time at my other brothers place in mid-town though

El Padrino said...

"When a player fractures his leg in a football game he is kept out of the game for three months," said Omalu. "A concussion is similar to a fracture. It damages brain cells. Don't you think it's counterintuitive if you keep a player out for months for a leg fracture that you would do the same for a person who sustains a fracture of their brain cells?"

say what

El Padrino said...

staying at my brother's place... upper east side... we'll spend most of our time at my other brothers place in mid-town though


suite

El Padrino said...

"Young boy falls to death at Staples Center"

LA has the worse parents

I ♥ nuts said...

""Young boy falls to death at Staples Center"


Keef said...
Un-suite

November 22, 2010 9:29 AM


a little late, ep

El Padrino said...

i loved that Dick Seymour slapped rothlisberger

gimme dat gif spiff

El Padrino said...

Keef said...
Un-suite

November 22, 2010 9:29 AM


nerve saw it

Jugdish said...

good post. i still have the CMAs on my DVR...maybe i can do a running diary of that sometime soon.

not for turkey day though

I ♥ nuts said...

my brother and his wife that live in mid-town just had a baby... no way i'm staying there

Jugdish said...

who mentioned St. Louis for lov summit II?

I ♥ nuts said...

"gimme dat gif spiff"

i think spiff already posted two over the weekend... the one in slow motion was suite

Jugdish said...

"It was just an awkward situation," Young said. "I just want to play football. I want to win games. I want to go to the Super Bowl. That's it."



im sure he has connections to get tickets

El Padrino said...

"It was just an awkward situation," Young said.

so clueless

tem said...

"Don't you think it's counterintuitive if you keep a player out for months for a leg fracture that you would do the same for a person who sustains a fracture of their brain cells?"


no, i have millions of brain cells. i don't have millions of legs.

I can't lift my arm said...

Good post, Freak.

I can't lift my arm said...

And if you guys don't think Anne Hathaway is hot I have to seriously start questioning your heterosexuality.

I can't lift my arm said...

Rent the movie Havoc. Done and done.

I ♥ nuts said...

"Rent the movie Havoc."

colov

I can't lift my arm said...

"Un-suite"

That sucks. JT the Brick mentioned something about it this morning, but he didn't know the kid's condition. He said that the kid was still alive, then said he fell from 50 feet. I figured there was no way a kid could survive that. Sad.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"did i tell you guys we have a REV in my office, aka Paul Berra looking dood*"

see no problem except the too much hot sauce on the gook food

Spaceman Spiff said...

cant find a GIF of elisha giving away the game

BLUE said...

i'm tired

BLUE said...

fuck having a 2nd kid...you can't just let it cry itself out at night because it wakes up the other kid.

one kid is the maximum for me from now on

Spaceman Spiff said...

hilarity

jug at the texans game

BLUE said...

course I wouldn't trade either of them for a brazilian dollars, but still...

Spaceman Spiff said...

"one kid is the maximum for me from now on"

one kid in the west wing of your mansion with a nanny, other kid in the east wing

Spaceman Spiff said...

matty ice on his period

Spaceman Spiff said...

used to fear the angry lispers, now they just get obliterated

RIP zeke

I can't lift my arm said...

My friend is throwing a benefit show for his friend because she had sinus surgery. Really???

Jugdish said...

jug at the texans game


that was funny. i like how the announcers don't like to give the fan any attention, so instead they have the camera guys show the coaches and players laughing

Jugdish said...

matty ice on his period



he was wearing my underwear

/beth

El Padrino said...

"see no problem except the too much hot sauce on the gook food"

he's dying, dood's like 350

your* 170 pounds

El Padrino said...

i like how that texan fan was in full sprint, he lookt* like forest

El Padrino said...

mayo is disgusting, but especially disgusting when combined with eggs

Spaceman Spiff said...

petros and money in for rome

Jugdish said...

mayo is disgusting


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

El Padrino said...

colov

I ♥ nuts said...

gonna miss not making turkeys this year... last few years i fried one bird and smoked another... good stuff

BLUE said...

ep doesn't like white sauce

I ♥ nuts said...

ftr, smoked bird was always a little better than the fried

Spaceman Spiff said...

"The torn ligament in the left foot of Miami Heat forward Udonis Haslem(notes) will at least keep him out until the All-Star break in February – and possibly for a significant portion of the regular season"

O:FM

Keef said...

"id she give you "I have to do everything line"


cmtp: How much did you spend?
tp: $500
cmtp: Jesus chris*. I have to do everything line!

Keef said...

"petros and money in for rome"



BOOOOOOOOOOOO

Jugdish said...

cmlp: How much did you spend?
lp: $500
cmlp: Jesus chris*. I have to do everything line!
lp: c'mon man!

Keef said...

"fucking iggles aint shit"


So the NYG suck. Got it.

Keef said...

cmon bro

Keef said...

Childress fird*

Spaceman Spiff said...

chilly fired

Jugdish said...

cmon bro



oops

Jugdish said...

chilly fired

spifffast

Spaceman Spiff said...

O:FB

tem said...

frazier promoted

El Padrino said...

just in a meeting with chick from PWC with nice fluffy bres-a-sis

twas nice

tem said...

first girl head coach in the NFL

El Padrino said...

nice chilly fired

El Padrino said...

"So the NYG suck. Got it."

bills huh, at home up 31-14.....

El Padrino said...

saw grown ups

relatively funny, still want my $5 back

El Padrino said...

IHOP will open its 1500 location on in Washington, DC tomorrow. The first 1500 customers in the door will receive a free short stack, and they're going to build a replica of "one of Washington's most famous monuments" out of a bunch of pancakes.

El Padrino said...

Takeru Kobayashi Eats 16 Bananas in Under a Minute


gay

I ♥ nuts said...

"Takeru Kobayashi Eats 16 Bananas in Under a Minute"

i like it better when that guy eats wieners

/bgep

I ♥ nuts said...

i heard that childress got axed

I ♥ nuts said...

"BOOOOOOOOOOOO"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I ♥ nuts said...

i'm on cruise control with tps... only woking a half day tomorrow and tps is getting the cold shoulder until after thanksgiving

I ♥ nuts said...

sas uf only fell to 14 in the polls after the beat-down from tosu

Keef said...

"bills huh, at home up 31-14....."

Yeah, I already knew the Bengals sucked. I'm not swimming in denial

El Padrino said...

so give me your prediction of the remainding giant games swami

El Padrino said...

me and beth almost had the same thing for lunch today

i had 5 guys, burgers & fries

she literally had 5 guys

BLUE said...

hey-o

BLUE said...

votto MVP

El Padrino said...

DANCE KEEF

Keef said...

"so give me your prediction of the remainding giant games swami"


I can't tell the future. I just don't think my team is better than they are

Keef said...

"DANCE KEEF"


I only do that when I have the day off

Spaceman Spiff said...

"The Redskins-#NYG game on Dec. 5 will not be "flexed" and will remain a 1 p.m. kickoff"

suite, skins chances dont drop from 10%

BLUE said...

flex it

Hey there! said...

"I wonder if any LOV guys have been with black women. For some reason I'd think Kod has been (but definitely not blhitler)."



-you are correct; cmkod was actually the first white woman I ever slept with (ns)

Hey there! said...

my preference definitely was for black and asian before meeting cmkod

tem said...

"cmkod was actually the first white woman I ever slept with (ns)"

i'm SAS.

tem said...

not SAS that you did black women or asian, but that cmkod was the first white one.

BLUE said...

white chicks like tall dudes...it's science

Keef said...

"my preference definitely was for black and asian"

That splains where you got all the Lysol from

tem said...

mexicans have all the lysol.

tem said...

and lawnmowers

BLUE said...

and guns

El Padrino said...

"my preference definitely was for black and asian"

had no clue they lived in Minnesoda*

BLUE said...

vikings head coach is black

BLUE said...

Boise State gets to open next season @ georgia again.

BLUE said...

although I guess it's not technically @ UGA...since it's in Atlanta.

BLUE said...

again...meaning like they did 5 or 6 years agao

BLUE said...

what's another word for

BLUE said...

usability

BLUE said...

use-ablity

maybe usefulness?

El Padrino said...

italians say youz*abilidy

Keef said...

"mexicans have all the lysol."


you've nerve* seen an asian or black housekeeper?

Keef said...

"although I guess it's not technically @ UGA...since it's in Atlanta."


So it's at Georgia. Got it

s

Beth said...

"Boise State gets to open next season @ georgia again"

Yeah this was big news here, several days ago when the deal was done.

Beth said...

"cmkod was actually the first white woman I ever slept with (ns)"

For some reason this doesn't totally surprise me. ns

El Padrino said...

yeah you said that alreay tits

El Padrino said...

bud adams is a ratard

El Padrino said...

i hate owners who know nothing about football chiming in on fottball decisions

El Padrino said...

"you've nerve* seen an asian or black housekeeper?"

of course i have, i hired them

/blue

BLUE said...

"Yeah this was big news here, several days ago when the deal was done."

oh, you mean Friday

BLUE said...

my housekeeper is from the czech republic (ns)

Spaceman Spiff said...

winner for favorite comment from the various youtube vids of griffins dunks over the weekend

"imagine if he was full black"

Keef said...

I installed some dual flush things on my terlets* this weekend. They have a #1 & #2 button, so it uses less water if you just pee. Mize would need one with a #4 button

Keef said...

"my housekeeper is from the czech republic (ns)"


Bitches from Czech are hot. I was going to study over there my 1st semester @ ASU but I met cmk a few months before that and was wipped*.

ns

El Padrino said...

the fuck

I ♥ nuts said...

"I installed some dual flush things on my terlets* this weekend. They have a #1 & #2 button"

is there a button for cat vomit?

/kod's cat

I ♥ nuts said...

"Boise State gets to open next season @ georgia again."

uga will crush bsu again

El Padrino said...

met fans react to the collins hiring

tem said...

"you've nerve* seen an asian or black housekeeper?"

i have, but of all the housekeepers i have seen about 85% have been mexican.

1% white
7% asian
6% black
1% haitian

Keef said...

"is there a button for cat vomit?

/kod's cat"


hilarity

El Padrino said...

dong flasher gets bitched on

JFreak said...

Do you think Knowshon Moreno will score less than 90.82 points tonight so I will keep my lead over deluxe in the yahoo league?

El Padrino said...

i think your safe

El Padrino said...

FIFO

El Padrino said...

piece, boring ass lov

BLUE said...

"uga will crush bsu again"

doubtful

BLUE said...

although Aaron Murray is going to be a damn good qb in the SEC

I ♥ nuts said...

"doubtful"

it's the SEC

Keef said...

still at work. woe

Keef said...

have a safe trip to CM tomorrow, tp

Mize said...

I hope Dook crushes Marquette tonight

Mize said...

Yo Keith, gotta be a little careful with the hating white people jokes when commenting on the same thread as the Grand Wizard.

Keef said...

why? Is he going to lynch me?

Mize said...

Or me

Mize said...

Thanks a lot, Keith. Now I'm on the Klan's radar.

Jugdish said...

suite

BLUE said...

i have officially given up on this NFL season

Jugdish said...

we have given up on your face

Beth said...

"we have given up on your face"

That assumes we ever had hope for it.

BLUE said...

my face is great

BLUE said...

it's at least a playoff face

tem said...

go

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