Friday, November 19, 2010

It's Friday, you know what to do

In sports news a highly ranked college football team is facing uncertainty because their star football player may or may not have indicated he wants to get paid for his comittment. In other news politicians are lying.

Onto the picks.

Bills @ Bengals (-5.5) - I don't know. Here's how I look at this game. Let's say retarded Steve had a brother. And he too was retarted but he was also missing a hand. And let's say they scheduled a fight between each other to settle am argument that centered arounf Leggo's and boogers. Steve would be favored -160 (Bengals) over handless retarded brother (weird enough also named Steve but with a ph) Steph (Bills). I'd take older brother Steve. Makes sense right?

Detroit (+6.5) @ Dallas - I know, it seems like a hate pick. Being as the Lions haven't won a road game in the same amount of time Jug hasn't reached third base with cgjug. Talk about taking it slow Detroit. That's alot of points to give the Lions who hang around then usually collapse in the last 2 minutes. I don't think Dallas covers.

Washington @ Tennessee (-7) - Well it would be an understatement if I said the Skins are coming off a bad loss. I'm not sure how they are going to respond but the Titans are a good football team. And they are coming off their own loss. And are home. Vegas nailed this line.

Arizona (+8) over KC - Well the polish has rubbed off that turd. Yeah Arizona is horrible and yeah it's a 1pm game a long way from Arizona and yeah KC is good at home but damn. Denver dun whupped they ass on Sunday man. I'm throwing a coin on this one. I wouldn't be surprised if KC won by 40 but I also wouldnt be surprised if Arizona won a FG. I guess McDaniels knew exactly what Crennel would try and do. Whizzanator has to try and duplicate that no?

Green Bay (-3) @ Minnesota - Whoa, Vikes a home dog in November. Weird. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. SWEEEEPP. Rodgers puts on the belt in the Metrodome. The Vikes nightmare season continues.

Houston @ NYJ (-7) - The overtime drama kings won't need the extra time this week. How many seasons of 8-8 football do the Houston fans have to put up with before this Kubiak guy gets fired?

Oakland @ Pittsburgh (-7) - Steelers rebound. Palomalu vs Blacktard. Who ya got?

Baltimore (-10) @ Carolina - Jimmy Claussen is gonna feel like he just got groped by a TSA agent after this one. I smell a spleen injury.

Cleveland (+1.5) @ Jacksonville - Feisty bunch those Browns. I like. Don't forget the Jet team fat boy is winning with was built by the Mangenius and his man tits. Bobby Flay ain't got nothing on the Mangina.

Atlanta @ St. Louis (+3) - It's gonna take a signature win like this one to turn heads Spags. Get it done. Then they'll believe.

Seattle @ New Orleans (-11.5) - Well that's two road wins for the Seahawks. Can they get to three despite me thinking the first two never happened? No. And yes I know the Saints are like 1-6 ATS at home so far this year. I don't give a shit.

Tampa Bay (+3) @ San Fran - Can't wait for Monday's Legarrette Blount gif.

Indy @ New England (-3.5) - Man fuck this pick but it's the right move.

NYG (+3) @ Philly - Vick's cock is dry to the bone after a week of the media draining his kids out if it. Eagles are flying high. Perfect storm for the New York Football Giants who played like shit against the Cowboys. Humbled and re-focused it's time to show these clowns who the beast of the east it. Bow down Rev (don't tip over big guy).

Denver (+10) over San Diego - Shit 10 points. Denver just hung 59 yo. Oh wait. Is it time for the Chargers to turn it on yet?

356 comments:

1 – 200 of 356   Newer›   Newest»
Jugdish said...

the steve vs steph thing was funny...good work. Leggos and boogers made me aitch

Jugdish said...

Being as the Lions haven't won a road game in the same amount of time Jug hasn't reached third base with cgjug.


this is not true

Jugdish said...

Rodgers puts on the belt in the Metrodome.


very gay...everytime he does it it makes me hate him more

Jugdish said...

Jimmy Claussen is gonna feel like he just got groped by a TSA agent after this one. I smell a spleen injury.



he isn't playing, they signed mize

Jugdish said...

mike and mike was making fun of sparano wearing the sun glasses on the side line. they didn't know about his eye injury. they either need better research guys or their research guys need to read LOV

Jugdish said...

mize should have his own morning show

Jugdish said...

This is Mize in the Morning on KWOE.

Jugdish said...

"Chicago +1.5 over Miami. Thursday night footyball makes me want to take a nap inside Kim K's vag. I'm starting to think this Bears team mite be for realz you. Their D is solid and even Steve thinks their special teams are special. Their offense has been shakey, but Cutler makes some throws that make me cum in my pants. Chad squared is out for the season, I'll take the Bears."


good pick Lp

tem said...

Yeah st. Pierre is starting...and all that HDH in a paragraph about tards was fitting

Jugdish said...

im glad the bears get the long week to prepare for philly

tem said...

Bears offense will struggle against philly

Jugdish said...

maybe, but they've been playing better

tem said...

They still aren't good

Jugdish said...

they have been efficient and sustaining drives lately.

tem said...

Bears taked it too slow

tem said...

Tikme for work

Keef said...

"El Padrino said...
jug i got the fins"


LP ♥s Tyler Thigpen

Keef said...

it's too early

Keef said...

"they either need better research guys or their research guys need to read LOV"

I dunno. If they read LOV, they'd think that Claussen was playing this weekend

Beth said...

"this is not true"

I caught this even if no one else has yet. Nicely done jug.

Jugdish said...

turn your clocks back, go back to sleep

Jugdish said...

that was to keef

Jugdish said...

I dunno. If they read LOV, they'd think that Claussen was playing this weekend


this is true

Keef said...

I was watching the 1st half of the game last night w/ cmk and she says "his name is Thigpen?" I say yeah. Then a minute later I say why, is that weird? She says it sounds like pigpen. I say good job, those rhyming classes are paying off

Jugdish said...

Sources: Claussen injures spleen

Keef said...

best man in my wedding had his 2nd kid last month and had to get snipped yesterday. poor bastard

Jugdish said...

had to?

Jugdish said...

thanks obama!

Keef said...

well I don't know about had to. He got it done.

Jugdish said...

they say its easier for the guy than it is for the girl

Keef said...

i hate when people pronounce groing as gro-in

El Padrino said...

excellent

El Padrino said...

keef needs to seek a grammar pshychiatrist

Keef said...

"they say its easier for the guy than it is for the girl"


I bet he would argue that right now

El Padrino said...

thigpen is not answer

El Padrino said...

cutty always comes off as a douche but the punk douche not the brady douche

Keef said...

groing is suite


i meant groin, obviously

Jugdish said...

I bet he would argue that right now



when i was on active duty a guy in my shop got one done, and they sewed one side of his sac to the other side...or something like that. either way, it was not good for him

El Padrino said...

"they say its easier for the guy than it is for the girl"

that's what they want you to believe

Jugdish said...

cutty always comes off as a douche but the punk douche not the brady douche



marshall too...tossing the ball to him. Marshall is an awesome talent, just not too smat*

El Padrino said...

yeah marshall is more stupid

Jugdish said...

random stat...the Texans have allowed 24 or more points in ten straight games

Jugdish said...

at least that is what i think i heard on the radio. either way their defense sucks

tem said...

flights to ND are the same price as flight to london.

Keef said...

"flights to ND are the same price as flight to london."


Everyone is going to see Touchdown Jesus

/LP

Jugdish said...

Everyone is going to see Touchdown Jesus

/LP


chuckle

tem said...

columbus to london round trip $691.20.

columbus to bismarck round trip $677.00

tem said...

so they aren't the same price got it. /as.

El Padrino said...

'1 IN 5' AMERICANS MENTALLY ILL

that might be higher

El Padrino said...

talk about not being able to make a decision on your own

"Couple puts abortion to an online vote!"

El Padrino said...

fucking peta

they all have mental illnesses

Beth said...

'1 IN 5' AMERICANS MENTALLY ILL

that might be higher *on LOV


*fixed

BLUE said...

good post

BLUE said...

it wouldn't be an EP post without some wild inaccuracies and hdh

BLUE said...

if wanting to sex beth makes me mentally ill..then lock me up

Beth said...

With lines like that blue I can see why the hot receptionist was after you.

El Padrino said...

what was wildly inaccurate other than the Claussen thing which i still refuse to look up and verify

El Padrino said...

good post

thanks

BLUE said...

if you have to say "other than", that's probably it

BLUE said...

denver also did not score 59pts

BLUE said...

or i guess KC didn't give up 59 points

BLUE said...

fuck the nuggets...fuck them in their asses

El Padrino said...

49, typo

El Padrino said...

fuck the nuggets...fuck them in their asses

meiz, get on it

El Padrino said...

keef iowa taking down osu this week?

I ♥ nuts said...

"keef iowa taking down osu this week?"

i don't think so

I ♥ nuts said...

apollo 13 is on.... you know what that means

El Padrino said...

grate movie

Spaceman Spiff said...

"what was wildly inaccurate other than the Claussen thing which i still refuse to look up and verify"

yesterdays comments

ctrl f jeebus

El Padrino said...

"yesterdays comments

ctrl f jeebus"

still dont feel like checking i beleef you

Spaceman Spiff said...

BSP is gonna try to laynpray the ravens for 4 rounds, get that decision victory

Spaceman Spiff said...

tampa mike williams got arrested for DUI but blood alcohol was below the limit


fuck it, suspended

/goodell

Spaceman Spiff said...

"The University of Hawaii is close to joining the Mountain West Conference for football"

another small step closer to a conf championship for blue's idaho

BLUE said...

idaho should dominate that conference every year now...it'll be like the big west all over again


what a joke of a conference the WAC has become, if it wasn't already a joke

Spaceman Spiff said...

55" Samsung UN55C5000 1080p 60Hz LED Ultra Slim HDTV

$1299.99 after applying code MRF11641 at checkout. Shipping is free, supposedly tigerdirect doesnt charge tax either.

damn thats a suite deal

El Padrino said...

tampa mike williams got arrested for DUI but blood alcohol was below the limit

dsaw that

makes no cents

Spaceman Spiff said...

brandon marshall GIF

jcutty would have caught it

redskins need to find out who defended the pass and sign him

Spaceman Spiff said...

"A Burger King manager and an employee are being fired after a Sacramento man got a receipt that contained an offensive message, the company said Wednesday.

Francisco Perez said upon ordering food at the Arden Way restaurant, he received a receipt that said "f--- you."

pic

best part of the story:
""That’s not acceptable," said Blong Xiong, the shift manager at the Burger King."

Spaceman Spiff said...

steve failing hard

at interrupting a domestic dispute

Spaceman Spiff said...

EP gonna love this shit

Spaceman Spiff said...

eltardo up, NBA is the main course

El Padrino said...

tremendous story spiff

crazy ass gooks

El Padrino said...

im getting crushed but free pizza is on THEEE Way

El Padrino said...

so i cant complain

Spaceman Spiff said...

yea you can

/meitch

El Padrino said...

my boss is cool like that

not always but sometimes he'll crush us with shit but then buy up some lunch

Spaceman Spiff said...

jeebus

I ♥ nuts said...

"/meitch"

just as funny as woe bros.

Spaceman Spiff said...

EP WFT is this shit

Spaceman Spiff said...

fixed

El Padrino said...

that's someone desperately trying to hold on to the tinyiest little fame she has

El Padrino said...

funda buztwat

is a real name

Jugdish said...

safety first

Spaceman Spiff said...

gus frerotte disapproves

Jugdish said...

(OK, fine, fine … dropping to 28 teams wouldn't hurt anyone. If you wanted to knock out the Pacers and Bobcats tomorrow and have a dispersal draft for their players, I'd sign off.


IN YOU FACE freak!

El Padrino said...

hahahaha

Jugdish said...

IN YOU FACE freak!


as long as they don't take the indiana fever!

/freak

Spaceman Spiff said...

' "In "The Zookeeper," the animals at the zoo adore their caretaker Andrew (Kevin James), an amiable but lonely guy who's never quite fit in. Finding himself more comfortable with a lion than a lady, Andrew decides he should leave the zoo and get a life. When the zoo animals discover his plan they decide to break their code of silence and reveal their biggest secret: they can talk!"

Adam Sandler ... Monkey (voice) '

stop it

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Raheem Morris says Mike Williams will play"

he also said he bucs were the best team in the NFC

/beff

Keef said...

"keef iowa taking down osu this week?"

Maybe. Maybe not

El Padrino said...

ok tree limb

Keef said...

"so they aren't the same price got it. /as."

tem knows

Spaceman Spiff said...

ok tommy tree limb

*fized

Keef said...

"ok tree limb"


I don't like picking my team's games. I hope they win, but I'm not going to say they're going to win. Maybe I'll just say they're going to lose so I can xnij them

Keef said...

"ok tommy tree limb

*fized"


I laught*

Keef said...

wall

Keef said...

You know what sucks?


This place

Jugdish said...

your face

El Padrino said...

sorry man im mad busy yo

El Padrino said...

this GM IPO has wreaked some havoc

Spaceman Spiff said...

monkey business

hilarity

El Padrino said...

you ever go to the zoo man, the monkey exhibits are always hilarity

they straight be fucking, you cant even stay there for like 5 minutes with your kid

meiz knows

El Padrino said...

wrigley football is retarded

Keef said...

"sorry man im mad busy yo"

Yo tambien. I include myself in the "this place" comment

Keef said...

"they straight be fucking, you cant even stay there for like 5 minutes with your kid"

You gotta shelter your kid from animals having sex?

Keef said...

although the holidays are going to make me a shit ton of money selling booze, I'll be glad when they're over

El Padrino said...

"You gotta shelter your kid from animals having sex?"

no, dont want her watching that shit live

get ideas ya know

Keef said...

That was a woe & eow comment rollt* into one

Keef said...

don't even trip

Keef said...

"no, dont want her watching that shit live

get ideas ya know"



I hope that was S

El Padrino said...

if yours was s then yes mine was s

Spaceman Spiff said...

"I'll be glad when they're over"

would cmk kill you if she heard you say this

El Padrino said...

i love the holidays but hated them when i was in retail

Keef said...

Her parents let her watch animals have sex

Keef said...

"if yours was s then yes mine was s"

No, mine was ns. I'm not going to shelter my kid from animals having sex

Keef said...

"would cmk kill you if she heard you say this"

She might. She called me this morning to tell me that xmas music started on the radio today

Keef said...

But like LP said, I like the holidays. But it makes me mad busy, yo

Keef said...

"No, mine was ns. I'm not going to shelter my kid from animals having sex"

Here's my logic behind this, LP. If you don't make it seem like it's a big deal, the kid isn't going to think it's a big deal. If you try to rush them away from it, the kid's gonna wonder what they're missing

ns

El Padrino said...

"Here's my logic behind this, LP. If you don't make it seem like it's a big deal, the kid isn't going to think it's a big deal. If you try to rush them away from it, the kid's gonna wonder what they're missing

ns"


she was 2 years old

El Padrino said...

when shes 7 yeah i agree

El Padrino said...

i dont have time to deal with that shit

Keef said...

I know you want to keep her off the pole, LP. I can respect that

ns

Jugdish said...

I know you want to keep her off the pole, LP. I can respect that


it all starts with monkey sex!

/Lp

Keef said...

"she was 2 years old"

I hear stories all the time about 2 year olds hanging out at daycare having sex because they saw monkeys do it


s

Keef said...

Speaking of daycare, I found out yesterday that cmk has a friend who does daycare out of her house and charges $40/day. That's not bad.

El Padrino said...

"I hear stories all the time about 2 year olds hanging out at daycare having sex because they saw monkeys do it"


you'd be shocked

yesterday she asked me if Parker (her lil cousin) yanks his weiner

ns

no idea where she got that from

El Padrino said...

"Speaking of daycare, I found out yesterday that cmk has a friend who does daycare out of her house and charges $40/day. That's not bad."

i pay $41.67

El Padrino said...

i think it's alot but when you think about it it's not

$500 a month, feels like alot for only 3 days a week

Jugdish said...

no idea where she got that from



i have an idea

Keef said...

"yesterday she asked me if Parker (her lil cousin) yanks his weiner"

maybe tone down the dong comments around the house

ns

Keef said...

at least she knows who to go to with dong questions

Keef said...

"i think it's alot but when you think about it it's not

$500 a month, feels like alot for only 3 days a week"

Yeah, it'll be something like that for us, too. Cmk said she can do work from home in the morning and drop the kid off @ noon and I can pick him/her up at 4 so it'll only be a half day

El Padrino said...

good deal

Jugdish said...

cmlp: Lp, stop yanking your weiner and take the trash out!!!


...two weeks later...

bglp: Daddy, does Parker yank his weiner??

::short stack::

El Padrino said...

"maybe tone down the dong comments around the house

ns"


i dont think i've ever said weiner

it's the rotten kids in school

ns

Jugdish said...

/Lp

Jugdish said...

cock...balls


/frank the tank

Keef said...

you don't have to celebrate it, jug

El Padrino said...

hilarity

El Padrino said...

sin choo choo is safe!!!!!!

El Padrino said...

the north korea soccer coach was sent to a labor camp for life

ns

El Padrino said...

passenger 57 got 3 years yo

El Padrino said...

nice tackle then the fat mexican gives the kid a concussion

Jugdish said...

These never happened

/NCAA

El Padrino said...

picee

Keef said...

wall

Jugdish said...

wall

Jugdish said...

wall

BLUE said...

tcs starts next week

BLUE said...

no the week after

BLUE said...

i can't already taste the excitement

BLUE said...

fucked up my natty


i'm out of practice

BLUE said...

also fucked up the premie/


damn

BLUE said...

now i got the premie...

BLUE said...

twss

BLUE said...

TCS is black and better than ever

BLUE said...

because it has a huge dong...

/lp

Spaceman Spiff said...

"also fucked up the premie/"

suite

/beff

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Basketball Gods were cruel to Boston. Missing out on only chance to see Durant is criminal."

O:FB

Keef said...

"because it has a huge dong...

/lp"




Is a dong the same as a wiener?

/bglp

Keef said...

csil broked* up with the no ambition guy

Mize said...

"mize should have his own morning show"


Yes I should

Mize said...

"csil broked* up with the no ambition guy"


Hey there

Keef said...

no, not you

Mize said...

wall

The Rev said...

Bow down Rev (don't tip over big guy).


Oh, it's on, bitch!

Keef said...

hey, rev's alive. I didn't know what to think because my bet payoff hasn't arrived yet

Keef said...

#weasel

Mize said...

WEASEL

Mize said...

Facebook humiliation bet.

Keef said...

work time

The Rev said...

Sorry, Keef. I've been distracted lately.

I'm literally dropping the card in the envelope now and it will be in tomorrow's mail.

The Rev said...

I'll throw in a bonus card since I made you wait

I ♥ nuts said...

"I'm literally dropping the card in the envelope now and it will be in tomorrow's mail."

careful keith, that card is going to be covered in velveeta residue

I ♥ nuts said...

if app state beats uf tomorrow, i'm taking down 8-10 homeless guys

I ♥ nuts said...

dong/wiener talk from earlier was hilarity

Keef said...

"Sorry, Keef. I've been distracted lately.

I'm literally dropping the card in the envelope now and it will be in tomorrow's mail."


Apology accepted

ns

Keef said...

wall

Keef said...

wall

Keef said...

M GO BLUE!


hahahahahaha

Mize said...

Michigan looks good today

Keef said...

"Michigan looks good today"

You must not have seen the 1st half

Keef said...

Jets -7
Cheifs* -8 (I'd take them -28 if I could)
Balt -11.5
Tampa +3
Denver +10

Mize said...

Packers
Chefs*
LIONS!
Tampa
Colts

Mize said...

Cassel vs AZ is >>> Ben vs Oak, right? RIGHT??

/looking for youse to make my mind up for me

Keef said...

cassel is a good bet

Keef said...

wall

Keef said...

no more football at beisbol stadiums

Keef said...

tosu WRs need to work on catching this week

Keef said...

bold

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"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





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"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino