Friday, October 29, 2010

If you bang girl ass and like it better than girl pussy are you gay?

Put San Fran's park on that list. How did we miss that one? She's a beaut.
Is Matt Cain serious with that clown hair? Is Mark Lowe Derek Lowe's brother? So the sandlot boys are 2-0 huh. This World Series reminds me of the 2006 Series when the Cards beat the heavy favorite Tiggers...after the Tiggers came into the show guns blazing they completely unraveled and Cards had no problem taking it. Maybe Arlington will help revive the Rangers. I don't care who wins as long as it gets to a Game 6. I'm really enjoying God Bless America live from Pac Bell Park.

My NBA predcition is anyone cares.....Juan Uribe looks like he eats alot.

When I first tasted Maple Brown Sugar Pop Tarts I nealry cam in my pants.

NFL Picks :

Miami (+2) @ Cincy - Road dogs. 3-0 on road. Cincy not very good in real life and ATS, 3-11 past 14 games. And Miami's running game hasn't really clicked yet.

Jax @ Dallas (-6.5) - Jon Kitna baby! Jacksonville is an awful ATS road team going 2-8 over the past 10 road games. Don't let the Denver win and Indy win fool you guys. They lose games by an average of 23 points.

Washington (+2.5) over Detroit - Weird line. I guess because the Jim Zorn edition of the skins would always lose the "At Inferior Team" game every year.

Buffalo @ KC (-7.5) - Not sure what happened in Baltimore last week but I'm getting hooked on laying points for a Chief team. Been awhile. Feels wrong.

Carolina @ St. Louis (-3) - The Spagnuolo's are unstoppable at home. Almost, 3-1.

Green Bay (+6) @ NYJ - Jets may be 5-1 but they haven't really set the world on fire. They have pretty much scraped by and spotting Rodgers 6 is a bet I'd make time and time again. I do worry about all the injuries they have though.

Denver (+1) @ San Francisco (but really London) - Fuck this shit.

Titans @ Chargers (-3) - Is it December yet? /Chargers

Seattle @ Oakland (-2.5) - Outside of the shitty Bears the Seahawks won't win another road game.

Minnesota @ New England (-5.5) -Blame Farve all you want, and I like to but that defensive line is not playing nearly as good as it did last year. All of a sudden you can move the William fat asses and Jared Allen absolutely stinks right now. If Childress is smart (he's not) he'd give Peterson the ball 30 times. It's his only shot at winning.

Tampa Bay @ Arizona (-3) - Fuck this shit. The Sequel.

Pittsburgh @ Saints (-1) - Can bet against the voodoo town on Halloween night right? What the hell happened to Brees last week? Seriously what the fuck.

Houston @ Indy (-5.5) - Revenge at the oil drum.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

As. Challenge

So Aitch has a bet with Keef that was made in LOVAD last night. Aitch bet Keef that he couldn't go one day (today) without making an As. to any LOV member on any subject matter. one week name/pic for keef if Aitch wins, and one month unlimited name/pic change for Aitch if Keef wins.

Its harass As. day!!!

I've been watching random, older "horror" movies on AMC over the last week or so.

Has anyone seen The Human Centipede yet?

Not going to get much easier against Matt Cain, Rangers.

If people walked around in public like they drove, there would be a lot more fist fights.

Seriously, what green shirt?

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

What should I do?

How about shut the fuck up. Should I stop listening to my friends? They're my friends. So the fuck lebron's momma always said, if your friends had sex with me, would you want to do that too?

Somebody is a funny guy.

Los Heat get shellacked by the I told cmblue, I root for 2 teams in the NBA, the Nuggets and whomever is playing the Heat.

Celtics-Will win over 50 games, but everyone will hate them
NYets- Will find out that Derrick Favors sucks
NYKnicks- Will spend half the season trying to trade for Carmelo, and lose 50 games
76ers-Igoudala will blow out his knee in week 3, should have traded him
Raptors-Will be contracted by the NBA at the end of the season
Bulls-Now that they have the 2 douchiest players in the NBA, they'll win a championship
Cavs-will make the playoffs and beat the heat in the first round (thanks dan gilbert)
Pistons-Will fire Joe Dumars by March...wins will be in the 20's
Pacers-Didn't Danny Granger get hurt?
Bucks-Will trade Bogut to the Nuggets for Nene and Aron Afflalo
Hawks-Paid Joe Johnson, so he'll go back to sucking
Bobcats-Larry Brown quits by February, only to come back and lead the team to the playoffs in April
Magic-Will represent the East in the Finals and play the Bulls for the championship
Wizards-Will be the most entertaining 30 win team ever

Warriors-Monta Ellis will shoot a lot and refuse to play at other times
Clippers-They'll be in the Finals playing the Bulls and the Magic
Lakers-Oops, the Clippers comment was for the Lakers
Suns-Could win 30 games, could win 60...could be somewhere in between
Kings-Might could challenge for a playoff spot, tyreke likes to drive fast
Mavs-Caron will use Cuban's new tequila as a replacement for the dew before games
Rockets-Yao Ming will break his foot
Grizzlies-After paying Rudy Gay, OJ Mayo will pout all season
Hornets-Will trade Chris Paul to the NYets for a bag of magic beans..this team will be contracted at the end of the year
Spurs-Will win 60 games and play in the finals with the Magic, Bulls, and Lakers
Nuggets-Will spend all season waiting for the other shoe to drop, then blow the team up and start over next year.
T-Wolves-Will be the most improved NBA team this year...why did Beasley hate Miami so much
Thunder-Getting too much love..will move back to Seattle at the end of the year.
Blazers-Oden will have a significant knee injury
Jazz-Deron Williams will have sex with Kirilenko's wife

There you go.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

East is least

Is Luke Wilson or Owen Wilson better? I think Owen is a one trick pony, but he does that trick pretty good, maybe even excellent. Luke is like a one and a half or possibly a two trick pony and he does a good job, but not excellent. I am up in the air on this one, could go either way. If push comes to shove I am taking Luke because he is less likely to error on the side of totally annoying me.

I sent a bunch of emails with attachments to this lady, but her in box got full. So she called me and asked me to resend the last email (she knew there was one more because I numbered them for her). Anyway, I sent it again and it got bounced again because she hasn’t cleaned out her box. Goddman women need to clean out their box before they ask me to send stuff into it.

tOSU Talk
tOSU fans talked all week about how they get to the Rose Bowl….problem is that most of them don’t know the tiebreak rules in the Big 10. The prevailing theory was that if Iowa beats MSU and OSU wins out that OSU gets to go to the Rose Bowl…but plenty of people said even if that happens MSU gets to go because they haven’t been there the longest. And some people said if that happens and Iowa wins out that Iowa gets to go. One person said Wisconsin would go if there was a 3 or 4 way tie for 1st.

Does anyone here know the Big Ten rules for tiebreaks?

Fantasy sports talk: ________
Bad loss in my $$$ league, I don’t even want to talk about it. I think Beth and I are still alive in the suicide league. That's nice. I am alive in my suicide $$$ league still. I was thinking about rolling with the Cowboys next Sunday, but maybe not now. I don't have many good teams left to pick from. Burned my big guns staying alive.

Is _________ hot ?

Emma Stone

Per El Pad’s request we will decided if Emma Stone is hot or not. First thing I notice about her is that I don’t think she would look good at all with short hair, luckily she doesn’t roll that way. Second thing I notice is that her boobs are small. Too small to be considered smokin’ hot. Third thing I notice is that the area below her nose to her chin has a bad wide to depth ratio. Too wide. Fourth thing I notice is that having said all that she is still way out of my league….probably. That’s good, she has that attainable look to her. Fifth thing I notice is that she has good teeth and an unfucked up nose. Sixth thing I notice is that her ass looks good now, but she might have a 2B ass….that is her ass is destined 2B fat. Seventh thing I notice is that she looks like this accountant downstairs a little. That accountant is a bitch, so that is not a good thing for Emma.

So in conclusion, she is not smokin’ hot because her boobs are too small. But she has some other things going for her. So as far as Hollywood goes, she is not hot, but if you saw her in the mall at home she’d be one of the top 5 girls in the mall, unless that mall was in Hollywood. Or unless more than 5 girls were in the mall that look better than her.

NFL Talk
No knee injuries this week and no brain injuries. I think that is just coincidence, with the new rules it is only a matter of time before someone loses a leg. I guess that is better than someone dying.

Baseball Talk
West coast World Series means the games will start too late for me to watch a whole game. I’ll watch Cliff pitch tomorrow for a bit then I’ll go to bed. Then I’ll check the intrawebs to see who is winning. I pick Texas to win in 6.

Monday, October 25, 2010

West is best

I'm so goddman happy that the Giants & Rangers beat Philly & NY. Like, you don't even know. If either the Phils or Yanks were in the Series, I wouldn't have watched 1 game. But with Texas & SF, I will watch every minute that I'm able to. It's weird how that works. Also, 2 Western Division teams say IN YOU FACE, EAST COAST!! But east coast bias says IN YOU FACE, TV RATINGS!

#1 team goes down in CFB for the 3rd week in a row. But now the #1 spot belongs to another SEC team, Auburn. And Boise is still in 3rd and close to falling behind TCU in 4th place. I'm actually kind of rooting for Sparty to move up to the top 2. Dantonio is a Vest disciple, so I'll root for them the rest of the way since they don't play tOSU.

Beth, if you want to give me a name/pic for the Falcons/Bengals game, go ahead. Fucking Bangles*.

Fuck Bert. I'm so glad that this season is turning out the way it is for him. Doucher.

Mize, congrats on taking down the unbeaten in the keeper league. Nice work.

Apparently we're playing fantasy basketball. Too bad basketball sucks.

Mize doesn't think Randy Moss is a selfish player. All of those who think mize is ratarded about that, say I.

Me & Cmk were watching TV on Saturday night and on CNN there was a show called Black in America and the description said something about blacks in America are increasingly going into debt because of the economy. I'm fairly certain that whites & Asians & Mexicans & Haitians are also strugg-a-ling with the bad economy. I wonder what kind of uproar a show called White in America would cause.

Goddman softball seasons are over. Bolth* teams lost last night, by a combined 36 runs I think. It was awful. Praise allah that neither made the playoffs so the next couple of weeks are off.

Friday, October 22, 2010

I leave my index finger nail a little longer than the others to pick my nose.

So Oregon is good huh?. Phillies and Yanks both push Game 6's. How does Vincent Jackson go back to the Chargers. They dogged him. Lebron keeps whining about angry fans or something like that. Cry me a river doucher. There is this show on called Lottery changed my life and it's a bunch of people that won the lottery across the country and you know what they talk about? Woe. They fucking woe. This one dude from New Mexico won 62.8MM on powerball and he's complaining he gets letters from people to help them. And woe's about his family. WFT. Is this show prduced by Aitch? And created by Meiz? Mo money mo problems I guess. Biggie nerve* lied. Oh yeah Duke is #1. Steve should be coming out from his retarded rock soon.


Cincinnatti @ Atlanta (-3.5) - I think Matt Ryan is like 16-2 or something silly like that at the Georgia dome so I'm gonna ride that. Hate the hook though. Hate it.

Washington (+3) over Chicago - Still not sure how they lost to the Seahawks, didn't catch much of that game but remember when we were talking about the Bears as being an NFC force? That was fun. McNabb loves playing home (Chicago). They tell me he's from there.

Philly @ Tennessee (-3) - Titans know how to beat NFC East teams. Or even NFC opponents in general. They haven't lost in 2 years to an NFC team (11-0). I like them at home and I like them even more if Kerry Collins plays. I'm not kidding. It will force the Eagles to REALLY respect the passing game since Collins can wing it.

Jacksonville @ KC (pick em) - Freebie. No line here because Bauman is the starter for Jax. KC is going to mash them. They are quite the frisky team this year. And it's real. If they had a real QB I'd go out on a limb and say they would cause playoff ruckus. But they don't.

Pittsburgh @ Miami (+3) - One, I like home dogs. Feel like I have an advantage when I take home points. Two, I can't, no matter how much I try, I can't stop loving this Dolphin team despite the mediocre 3-2 record. Three, Miami hasn't won at home yet.

Cleveland @ New Orleans (-13) - First he goes to Pittsburgh (on the very day Big Ben returns) then he goes to the Superdome. Welcome to the NFL Colt McCoy. Baptism by fire? Is that the saying?

St. Louis @ Tampa (-3) - I hope Red Zone channel blacks this game out.

San Fran (-3)
@ Carolina - Panthers stink. Next question.

Buffalo @ Baltimore (-13) - Ass whooping. 38-6 final. Someone might die.

Arizona (+5.5) @ Seattle - Hawks really don't have business giving points. Arizona had a week off to get Max Hall acclimated to the offense and I think they will be hanging around all game, probably even get a win. Beanie Wells day. I feel it.

Oakland (+8) @ Denver - Broncos win but 8 points? Oakland is 6-2 ATS in this series the past 8 games. Oakland has actually won the past 2 out of 3 games they've played outright so I'm a little confused about the line.

New England (+3) over Chargers -

Minnesota @ Green Bay (-3) - Revenge a year later. I just see every Packer who dresses plays lights out, from special teams to defense to offense. I think they play above their ability just to get the Farve monkey off thier back.

Giants (+3) @ Cowboys - It's the Dallas season on the line. Never would I imagine that the Giants could theoretically (AHIK) eliminate the Cowboys from contention during Week 7. But they could and I hope they seize the moment.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

IN YOU PHACE phillies!!!!

I was a phan of bringing Oswalt in the game last night to pitch only because I wanted to see the Phillies lose. They shouldn't have been playing like it was an elimination game, but they can do that today.

Yeah I overslept this morning...

Not too concerned with the Rangers...they did get 13 hits off of CC. Eventually they'll get some runs in. I'd like them to close it out in 6 so Lee can go in game 1 in the World Series.

Yeah I drank last night...

IN YOUR FACE jokes are funny in almost all in into your day today.

cmblue: how was your day?

blue: better than your face!

I'm sure you have a lot to talk about, so that's it.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Worthless Post

NOTE:Image uploads will be disabled for two hours due to maintenance at 5:00PM PDT Wednesday, Oct. 20th

Today is blue's anniversary.

He didn't get cmblue anything...she should just enjoy the fact that she is married to a great man. ROMANCE, i've got it.

Rangers are going to have an epic fail and lose the next 3...just watch. It's the perfect situation for the ewing theory™®

I'm interested to see this whole Carmelo Anthony trade crap play out. The knicks and nets know that if they wait until the season starts and he sees how awful they really are, he might pass on them (doubtful) ((not doubtful that they'll be awful though)).

Charleston Chews were always great

Has freak been hanging out with the Colts punter? Sounds like he knows how to party. At least he wasn't driving, and should be commended for that. Tuesday is an off day for players anyway.

Our CFO is having a colonoscopy resisted the joke that turn-about is fair after all the times the CFO has fucked people in the ass at work.

Last but not least, congrats to Meiz on the new job, and seriously keep the ideas flowing (ns). That's how companies improve. Of course, everyone that now works with you will think you're a total douchebag, but who cares what they think.

I'm reading Tucker Max's new book..quality

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Post 1,167

I wish I had more vacation days. I am just going to take more than I am allotted and see if anyone notices. I suspect the CFO will, but I don’t care.

Also, watched Hot Tub Time Machine last night, thought it was pretty funny. Not Anchorman funny, but still funny nonetheless.

Mrs. Doubtfire
My buddy has made 2 jokes in as many days based on the movie Mrs. Doubtfire. You know how I know he is gay?

tOSU Talk
tOSU fans are still bummed. In general shock. They haven’t accepted that their team may have been ranked too highly. They are blaming it all on Pryor. I am not sure that is a good plan. Dude doesn’t look like he handles failure very well. Maybe he’ll quit on tOSU and take his talents to Boise State so he can be on a top 3 team.

Fantasy sports talk: ________
Another win in my $$$ league. Poor managing in the LOV league. I don’t know about the other LOV league. I think I am in last. $$$ league is shaping up to be a good but not great team. Should make the playoffs and should do some damage there, but I doubt I win it all. We’ll see.

Is _________ hot ?

Rachel McAdams

Of course she is. This is a dumb question.

NFL Talk
People are getting hit hard and hurt. Is this happening more often than in the past? I dunno, but I bet TMQ tells us later. And you better believe this has lots to do with players not wearing their helmets correctly.

And why do QBs unstrap their chinstrap after every play, then strap it back up as they walk up behind center? Does the unstrapped chinstrap help them say the play better? WFT? Just leave it strapped. I got sick of watching McNabb strap that fucker up every play. Bert does it too.

Cliff Lee
I guess he is pretty good. Good pickup for the Rangers. He is the Deion Sanders of baseball, pick him up to win the CHAMP YEE ON SHIP.

Too often I miss the titty and ass links. I have nobody to blame but myself.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Phuck Philly

I could just leave the post empty with that title and it would be in the top 10 of posts this year.

I can't wait for Octwoeber to be over. Bad month for the Bengals, tOSU, Reds, goddman softball, and my fantasy teams. Bring on Woevember. But if SF & Texas can win their respective LCS series, AHIK*, then that will make up for it a little bit.

I'm glad that Boise isn't among the top 2 in the first BCS rankings. I know there are still about 29 weeks left in the season, but every week that Boise isn't in the top 2 is a good week. Fuck those small schools. Let the big boys play the important games. Keep beating up on San Jose State and New Mexico State, kiddies.

There were some upsets in college this weekend, too. Obviously Sconnie dominated tOSU. But FU drops out of the top 25 for the first time since Tesus was resurrected. The Spurriers had a big letdown after beating Bamer. Nebraska looked like shit against Texas. That was disappointing, I figured Nebraska was among the top 3 teams in the country.

The NFL is very mediocre this team. I don't think there is 1 favorite in either conference. I don't see any team winning 13 or more games this year, either. This could be a year where the Super Bowl is made up of 2 wild card teams.

"Police in Pasadena, California, issued an Amber Alert for missing 3-year-old Dylan Kurihara. He was last seen with his father on Saturday, but his father "does not recall being with the child due to his level of intoxication," police said."
Spiff, please return the boy to his mother now.

Thank god that softball is almost over. Next week is the last week before the playoffs. Hopefully bolth* teams miss the playoffs. I'm tired of softball for now. We had to forfeit 1 game tonight because 10 guys were in Vegas for a bachelor party. Shitty softball team lost by like 20. Fucking softball.

Question for the class. This kind of goes with what LP said a few weeks ago about MLB ballparks. Which current park would you want to go to that you haven't been to? My top one was Wrigley until I went there last month. When I was a kid, I always wanted to go to Fenway. But O:FB has overpowered that and I have zero interest in going there now. I'd want to punch every chowd in the face the entire time. I think the stadium I'd like to go to most that I haven't been to is Camden yards. I hear it's a pretty suite stadium and has some grate* food.


Friday, October 15, 2010


Earthquake game. God I remember this. You know sometimes sports seem so much cooler when I was a kid. I remember the next day in school talking about it with friends. Imagine if Twitter/Facebook was alive then. Shit. Al Michaels looks the same by the way. He's drinking blood for sure. Also funny how it happens when McCarver has already talked 30 seconds too long. Classic.

Is it every man's destiny to get fat when you get old? or fatter? See Nolan Ryan? Godammn looks like he ate a kid. Was always a tall skinny guy. Now a tall old fat guy. Shit.

NFL picks in BOLD.

Atlanta (+2.5) @ Philly - Time for the leap of faith. Two straight road wins in a row. Can they make it three? Looks like they'll get Kolb here. Philly is 0-2 at home this year.

Cleveland (+13.5) @ Pittsburgh - This line doesn't adjust for any rust on Big Benjamin's don, er I mean arm. Also doesn't account for the improved play of the Browns. I understand it's Colt McCoy but Hillis for some reason or another is actually for real. Can't believe it either. Look for the Steelers to have some problems putting the Browns away. Cribbs has killed them each time they've played.

Seattle @ Bears (-6.5) - Again, Seattle won't win a road game this year.

Detroit (+10) @ Giants - Lions have like a 23 game road winless streak. Hope they don't get off the schneid this week. Doubt it but a back door cover here is in order. Giants have the leagues top ranked defense by the way. Early I know, but still. They've shown a major improvement the past 3 weeks.

Baltimore (+3) @ New England - I think Baltimore is the best team in the league right now. New England won't be getting any special team treats this Sunday and don't forget the Ravens smacked the shit out the Pats last January to advance out of the first round.

San Diego @ St Louis (+9) - Fuck the Chargers. Seriously. They are dog shit and Rivers will never ever ever never ever win a title. Neither will Turner (as a HC). So fuck them. Rams play competitive football at home.

Miami @ Green Bay (off) - Due to the Rodgers injury no line is published. If this is a pick em then I'll take the Dolphins. Even if Rodgers plays I was taking the Dolphins. Vontae Davis might be better than Revis. (NS).

New Orleans (-4) @ Tampa - I know Tampa is much improved but the Saints are better right? Right?!!! Saints are scuffling right now but I have to believe in Drew Brees. Great QB's carry thier respective teams when they scuffle.

Kansas City @ Houston (-4.5) - The meat and potatoes part of the schedule resumes for the Chiefs. Not as easy as you thought it was huh Haley?

Jets @ Denver (+3) - I like Denver's passing game. Even if Revis plays you have to remember they throw the ball 50 times a damn game. If they gameplan right they could have Revis out just on the first 30 snaps of the day by running go routes on his side and really testing that string of a ham. Jets haven't had a turnover since Week one. Sanchez hasn't thrown a pick yet. Something has to give. If the Broncos can stop the run, keep the Jets under 100 yards they will win outright.

Oakland (+6.5) @ San Fran - When in doubt, take the points.

Dallas @ Minnesota (-1) - First Minnesota, despite scuffling around is 6-1-1 in the past 8 games at home against the spread. Also on sheer betting stats, the home team is 8-0 when posed as the favorite. True it's only a point but they are the favorite here. Vikings haven't clicked yet and that's probably Farve's fault as he's looked terrible. Says his elbow hurts. Either way they won't need him Sunday because that Viking front is going to maul the Cowboys woeful offensive line.

Colts (-3) @ Washington - Colts are statiscally a far better offense than the Skins and I feel like Peyton hasn't even locked in yet. He's looked a bit mortal. Maybe its the WR injuries (Garcon and Gonzalez are probable) and the non-existent running game but he hasn't looked as good as he once did. That probably will change and he knows he can't let Washington hang around as they have proven they can do that, then steal one.

Titans (-3) @ Jacksonville - Two weeks ago I thought Del Rio lost the team. Then they reeled off a huge win against the Colts and went up to Buffalo, spotted them two td's then blew the doors off them. I guess I was wrong. Still like the Titans here. When the lights are on Vince Young wins games.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Take it slow

This is a great way to start off your day...SFW. Stole that from a Facebook post from Rev. It has nothing to do with food.

I was going to post at about 10 AM CST and say I was taking it slow this morning, but I decided against it.

Do you think the Chilean miners had a fantasy football draft down there in that mine? If I were trapped down there, I think I would have liked to have one.

I think it sucks that Cliff Lee won't pitch until game 3 of the ALCS. Only thing good for the Rangers if they have home field advantage going in. There is too much time off between games in the post season.

So the Sports Guy finally explained how he mistakenly tweeted the moss vikings message. I remember seeing that tweet. My brother is the anti Sports Guy with breaking news. He has a knack for sending my other brothers and I text messages on "breaking news" well after its common knowledge. Example: Two days ago he told me Boozer is hurt. Its become a running joke between us...last night I got a text from one of them that said "Cutler out vs Panthers". They have not been unfunny.

This weekend I am going here to see him and these guys. I got a lot of concerts in the next few weeks. Suite!

What are you doing this weekend?

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The rangers won. good for them. There was some rumor that they were the only MLB team to have not won a playoff series. I'm not sure that's true, but i'll believe it. It might have been on a simpsons episode though, i'm not sure.

They're making snow in the mountains here. Which is pretty lame, i'm ok with waiting until it actually snows to go skiing. But there are a bunch of crazies who think skiing one run on rocks in October, makes them ultra cool or something. Screw that.

I wonder if I texted a picture of my junk to the hot receptionist, if nothing would happen for 2 years? I think Sterger liked it. She probably texted him pictures of her penis too.

Maybe that's what people do, down on the farms in Kiln, Mississippi.

Deion Branch was traded back to the Patriots. Woohoo, superbowl, O:FB is in full swing mode. An overpaid, average wide reciever got traded to the Pats, huge news story...I heard Troy Brown wasn't available.

Reading that Agent story in SI. I knew Rian Fien, went to school with him for a year and had a few classes together, that was about the last time that Idaho football was decent. Can't remember, but I think they were still I-AA back then. He wasn't a guy I would have thought was on the take, although he did end up in an NFL camp. There were a couple dudes I lived in the dorms with that were on the team that were from Barstow...broke as hell...yet, by their Junior year both were driving nice new Chevy S-10s pimped out. Interesting how that happens.

I don't eat much pork other than bacon and sausage, so I guess I eat a lot of pork.

I still owe kod because UM shit the bed, he needs to make with a name/pic change quick or the statue* of limitations will have run out.

Boardwalk Empire could be good, but it needs more action. Like the first season of the Sopranos, gotta have a lot more seedy stuff, and less conspiracy and cover up crap. First Episode was real good, last few have been ok, but could get on the boring side.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


Rough tem morning. Chew on this for now. Saw a guy flip another guy off on the way to work today. He held his flip off pose for about 10 miles. I was impressed. He must have been really upset with getting cut off by a guy who had his turn signal on and was merging every other one like you're supposed to. Anyway, how long do you usually hold the flip off pose?

Now, I'll type more stuff. I forgot my work shoes at home when I stayed at cgtif's last night. Oops. I need to prepare better. Maybe have a checklist or something. I think if I went through life with a bunch of checklists I would never get laid. But if I did the "getting laid" checklist would be fun. Maybe I'd even give her a survey afterwards.

Don't know where the fuck I was, but I totally missed this whole Duke girl writes a thesis about the 15 or so guys she slept with and ranks them.

Also don't know where everyone else was, but didn't this Bert Ferve news about his penis pics come out like months ago? I swear we talked about it here. How is it just now news?

I hate it when I hear a trainer tell someone losing weight won't happen quickly because the weight didn't get put on quickly. Eff that. They weren't trying to put the weight on, that's why it went on slowly. They are trying to lose it, so it should be lost quicker. I'm not saying overnight, but this bullshit where they say well it took you two years to gain 20 lbs so it will take 2 years to lose it. Bullshit. Eff you trainer people. It should take a month if I am trying. Less if I really try.

I think some gym should let really fat people join for free. Like if you are a dude and over 400lbs, you get a free membership. It'd be like an act of goodwill from the gyms. They could pretend they care. And if there was a dude who joined at 400 and lost a lot of weight, he'd be their Jared. You know, he could put his penis in Strahan's gap and sell memberships. Justin Tuck would be there too.

I got really drunk on Sunday. I might have dined and dashed too. My buddy says I paid, but so far nothing has shown up on my credit card statement. I had about 120 ounces of Octoberfest during the Bucs/Bengals game. I don't remember the 2nd half. I should have had some diet Pepsi.

Saw the Sesame Street Grover spin off of the Old Spice commercial. It was OK.

My $$$ FNFL team did well. Rice and Forte exploded on the competition. Now I have no clue who to play this upcoming week. Rice, Forte, Welker, Wayne, Marshall. 1RB, 2WR, 1 Flex. Also I think I need a QB. Palmer is on BYE and my other QBs are Kolb/Vick. Maybe Kolb will do.

Last softball game tonight. Thank goodness. We'll probably make the playoffs though. So it won't be the last it. Anyway, I hate organizing co-ed teams. For tonight 1 girl responded and said she "should" be there. The rest of the girls didn't even bother to respond at all. I'd get subs for them all, but I don't know that many girls who want to play softball in mid october at 10pm.

I saw a commercial this weekend for some toy. It had furry animals that raced around a track or someone. One was a Hedgehog named Dash McFlash. Cracked me up.

If it turned out that one of the Mario Brothers was a hard core drug addict which one would be more likely? You gotta go with Luigi right?

Monday, October 11, 2010

This is going to be short and painless


Beisbol is over. It was a good season.

Pro football is over. It was a bad season.

Seriously, though. Shitty month for my sports teams. Reds didn't show up for the playoffs. It's ok though. They'll be back in 2025. And Bengals start October by losing to Cleveland & Tampa Bay. tem, if you want, I'll give you a 3 day name/pic payoff since we forgot to bet.

Also seriously, though. The beisbol playoffs with NY, SF, Tampa, & Philly are good for MLB, I guess. But I vow to not watch 1 more pitch of this postseason. If the Rangers make it past this round, AHIIK, maybe I'll watch some. But otherwise, no.

LP is back this week, right? O/U on the # of hours he watched porn whilst on vacation is 27.5 hours.

We went 1-1 in softball last night. Shitty team won, SAS, and good team lost, SAS. I was 8 for 8 with 2 walks on the night. All hits were singles. I'm like Rafael Belliard.

Friday, October 08, 2010


Really Cincinnati? Really? I'm sure you guys covered this but no hit? You get no-hit? I know the Mets are trash but cmon. Act as if. Apologies Kod on the Twins. Is it me or is Girardi dying? Dude is wasting away. Got Yankee Aids I guess. TBS coverage is woeful. They should broadcast the games with two analysts from both teams that called the games for that team all year long. Even if they are ESPN property. Why have the UMPS been so awful? Moreso than usual. Baseball needs an instant replay system, at least for plays in the outfield. Managers should get one challenge a game but it can't be used on balls and strikes. So the Pena thing, whatever. He should have sold it he would have been awarded first base. Retard Mexican. The Conan commercial is awfulness. Anyway they could use it for catches and fair/foul calls. You would think this are the simpler calls but NOOOOOOOOOOOOO they blow that shit all the time. Baby steps, once that gets to be a part of the game then you'll see plays at the bases being part of instant replay. Just have to wait for Bud Selig to die. He's old so soon people.

NFL- Pick in BOLD.

Jacksonville @ Buffalo - Books want you to pound Jax. That's why the game is a pick em.

Kansas City @ Indianapolis (-7) - Remember what happened to the Giants when the Colts were coming off that week one loss to Houston? Yeah. That.

Tampa Bay @ Cincinnati (-6.5) - Take the points, Bengals shouldn't be giving anyone points right now.

Green Bay @ Washington (-2.5) - Packers will go 4-0 against the NFC East teams, already 1-0.

St. Louis @ Detroit (-3 0) - Hey look Mize, Detroit is on the board. Happy tweeting!

Chicago @ Carolina (-1) - Bears are not as bad as the Giants made them look last Sunday night. Panthers not as good as they looked Sunday afternoon. Got it?

N.Y. Giants @ Houston (-3 0) - Just take the over if you want to win some money. Schaub won't hold the ball as long as Cutler did. Especially after watching THAT tape. Giants will have to get to the QB alot again to have a good shot at winning this game. Ware had three sacks vs Houston two weeks ago and that really helped Dallas beat the Texans. Troy teammate Osi Umenyora had 3 sacks last week against the Bears. All this talk about the Giants ability to get to the QB and no talk of the Texans ability. Houston is last against the pass giving up a ton of yards so this is the key to the game for NY.

Denver @ Baltimore (-7 0) - Tough to come into Baltimore and win. Especially off a huge road win the week before. Ravens always handled the Pats well and McDaniels will run a similar offense this weekend. Funny thing is I thought the Ravens secondary was the Achilles heel for Baltimore but they've been great, #1 in the league in passing yards allowed. Orton damn near averaging 3-something so this is the matchup to watch.

Atlanta @ Cleveland (+3) - Need a road win. Haven't had too many under Mike Smith. Huge one two weeks ago but good teams win these games. And that's exactly Mike Smith's message in the team hotel the night before this contest. (That last line was written by skunkpatch).

New Orleans @ Arizona (-6.5) - Amazing how one player throws the entire team in disarray. Max Hall now starting as the Mr. Anderson project was put to bed this week. Man that dude is awful. He totally Brady Anderson'ed that 2007 Pro Bowl year. Saints haven't hit that championship caliber of play yet but they are 3-1 and a 29 gimme FG away from 4-0 so they keep marching along in the desert.

Tennessee @ Dallas (-7) - Cowboys are too inconsistent to give a TD. I hate this line.

San Diego @ Oakland (-6) - Toss up for me. I literally flipped a coin on this one. Sorry. Sometimes all the analysis in the world can't explain the Raiders week in, week out.

Philadelphia @ San Francisco (-3.5) - San Fran gets on the board. That division is still winnable by the way. Kolb, ah, I don't know about this guy.

Minnesota @ N.Y. Jets (-3.5) - Whoa. Just Whoa. Percy Harvin will annihilate the Jets. Moss can now stretch the field for Farve who will take his shots with the jump ball but the real benefit is Harvin who can run amok underneath the way Welker did for New England. He always killed the Jets. Harvin is faster too. Plus Peterson? New England NEVER had a running game. Sick bro.

Thursday, October 07, 2010

I'm your huckleberry!

Its a good thing Keef got home before 2 PM PST yesterday because he got to see the Reds make history! I got home in time to see the last 4 innings of the game. I'm all for O:PhPh*, but that was awesome to see.



Halladay's first post season game ever against one of the better offenses in the league. The second post season no hitter ever and one walk away from a perfect game. Its really a shame that this guy has been stuck in Toronto for all those years and is just now getting a crack at the post season. Now the Reds face another Roy who has been dealing during the second half of the season. I try to stay away from Facebook after a Phillies win during the post season due to Rev's insufferableness.

I'll stay on baseball and address the Twins. They can't beat the Yankees. Sorry Kod. Actually the Yankees pitching has been bad lately outside of CC, so they do have a chance in the next few games.




Go Rangers!

NBA...Wade pulled his hamstring the other day. I hope this is a sign of things to come for the Heat this year. Everytime I think about the Heat I think of that gay little pep rally they had with LeBron, Wade, and Bosh and it makes me hate them more. Hate is not a word I throw around a lot, which is anti-LOV, but I hate the Heat right now.

NHL...Its starting soon, I'm officially a fan and will be watching. I'm also going to try and hit up some local hockey when the Chicago Wolves come to town. Suite!

More Roy...I heard on the radio this morning that Cito Gaston said Halladay was always the first one at the park in the morning, doing his morning workout, etc. Just because someone is the first one to work every morning doesn't always mean they are a hard worked. My bossman gets here between 5 and 5:30 AM CST, when we are supposed to be here at 6:30 CST...but he gets here and sleeps and watches TV. Ironically, that's what Gaston did a lot of.

and done...

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

The Pats are going to trade Randy Moss to the Vikings. I guess Minnesota is pretty desperate. Not that Moss can't still be a great player, but I seem to remember his slapping up a meter maid and crashing his car against the little police buggy thing...but hey, everyone makes mistakes.

Baseball playoffs start's my in depth analysis of the divisional series....Reds over Phils...Giants over Braves. Twins over Yankees...Rays over Rangers.

One thing I love about fall, beef stew. I guess you could have it any time of the year, but it just seems perfect in the fall.

Bill traded Marshawn Lynch to the seahawks...the land of second chances and disappointments. What the heck happened to Marshawn? Remember when he was good for that one year?

The NFLPA says that owners are set for no season in 2011. I don't buy that. These guys didn't get rich by being stupid. They've covered their asses in case they can't work out a deal, but I highly doubt they want to cancel a season. Except of course unless somebody dies on the field.

My last thoughts and then i'll give up for the day. There's a lot of clamoring about Boise State and should they or shouldn't they be national championship contenders. My thought is that the way the system is today*, they should not. Although they have 2 quality wins, (VT will probably still come back and win the ACC), and have a chance for one more quality win if Nevada keeps trucking along. But they don't have the depth of the schedule as Ohio State or Alabama or even Oregon. Could they beat any of those 3 teams, absolutely, could they endure the full season of playing at that level? I don't know. They do have tremendous depth now, which was always the knock on the little schools. I think BSU would win or finish 2nd in the Pac-10 this year. I think they'd win or finish 2nd in the Big 12. I think they'd win the Big lEast no problem (and probably run the table). They'd win the ACC. They'd be in the top 2 in the Big 10. They'd be in the top 3 in the SEC. But I don't think in any of those conferences, an undefeated season is likely. That's my main argument against them being in the title game. Now, should they be there instead of a 2 loss team absolutely, but it will be tough to beat out a 1 loss SEC team.

*BCS sucks for this reason

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Clean Up The ToTPM

So when you are driving and need to merge and someone lets you in do you wave? I always give them a wave, but only a three finger wave, well I guess 2 fingers and a thumb. A whole hand wave seems gay and one finger and a thumb doesn't seem to even count as a wave. Three fingers and a thumb is hard to pull off, so I always do thumb, pointer, middle finger. People seem to appreciate it.

Fantasy Talk

Another win for my fantasy team. Beat a 3-0 team, that's nice. I am now 3-1, in second place in my division. I play the first place team, but my QBs suck and Welker and Marshall are on Bye....I'll be leaning on Rice to actually show up and do something.

By the by, Ray Rice has to be the biggest fantasy disappointment this season. In a PPR league he was a top 5 pick. He has like 40 total points. Forte got that in week 1. Ray Rice is letting me down and thousands of others. He should be ashamed. Well not really, it is only fantasy football so he shouldn't be bothered by it, but if he wants to play better that'd be fine with me.

Random Movie Talk

So I watched this movie while I was working out at the gym last night. Sidenote: cgtif and I have a bet to see who can lose the most weight (percentage wise) in october. I had to spot her 3% too. I guess I am a 3% fat favorite. So anyway, I was at the gym and they have treadmills and stuff in front of a big screen and they were showing some movie about roller derby chicks. Juliette Lewis was playing someone who I think was supposed to be in hike school. And she pulled it off. I am not sure what the record is for oldest actress playing a high schooler (I assume it was that chick on 90210) but Juliette Lewis might have just beat it. Anyway, I think the movie was called Whip It and it was not good.

Is ________ hot?

Ellen Page

She was in this Whip It movie. She was also in the latest X-Men movie. I think she is hot, but not smoking hot. Again she has that attainable hotness look going for her. Of course she is totally not attainable for me, but one can dream. I guess. Anyway, she can look kind of toothy (teethy?) and has small boobs, but I still think he is hot. So if she is reading this she should come to temhio and we can party.

That is the worst pick up line ever....hey baby you wanna come to temhio and party?

NFL Talk

So where was Cutler supposed to throw the ball when he was getting sacked all those times? Just out of bounds, well most times he was in the pocket so that might have been called. And also, if he has 6 freaking blockers and the Giants rush 4 people I think he is OK to think that maybe his 6 blockers can hold off the D. Had Cutler thrown a bad pick or gotten intentional grounding the commentators would be all over him. What he should have done was run for 4 yards then slid. I'm not sure why running is not an option for some QBs. 4 yards is a nice play sometimes. Maybe you don't do that on 3rd and 15, but on 1st and 10 go ahead and run for the 4 yards. Slide way early, don't get hit, go back to the huddle and call another play. Don't throw it away, don't take a sack, get some yards. The really good QBs know when to run, even if they are horrible runners. I guess this is the part where you say Cutler isn't a good QB. Umm, well, ok, you got me.

tOSU talk

Going to the game this week. I think IU has a chance to score. Maybe even score about 20 points. But I don't think they can win. I'll be sitting in the IU alumni section. I'm going to wear some IU gear. Cgtif is going with me, she'll be wearing OSU gear. Buckeye fans will be nice to me though because IU sucks. If I wore Michigan stuff to a game I'd end up getting into a fight. I don't think cgtif would like it if I wore Michigan stuff ever.

OK I am going to post this, just realized how late it is.

Monday, October 04, 2010

Roll Tide

Ouch, TP. Your name/pic is My Tesus tat is suite

Big footyball weekend. Bengals looked awful against Cleveland. That happens a lot. The Giants just sacked Cutler again. Falcons, Ravens, & Jags with last second wins. Actually there were lots of close games on Sunday. Fuck Mario Manningham, though. Dickhead.

Oregon jumped ahead of Bluesie State in bolth poles*. Boise needs to win the rest of their games 60-0 to have a shot to play for the title. Hell, TCU could end up jumping over them.

Big game this week between UM/MSU.

Big Ten sucks. /TP

I don't remember seeing this talked about here, but has anyone seen that red turf that Eastern Washington has. 1) Don't be lame and copy Boise State. 2) That color is really fucking annoying. It's almost painful to see on TV. It's way too bright. Again, don't be lame.

US Ryder Cup team sucks. Shocking, but not surprising. Fucking Euros. Mickelson might be the worse* Ryder Cup player, ever. NS

Breer's not picking up Macha's option for 2011. Mize is happy. Well, if it was possible for mize to be happy, he would be. wadr

Goddman softball suckt. Bolth teams lost. I don't want to talk about it.

I really don't have shit else to talk about, so that's it. Suck it.

Friday, October 01, 2010


My take on 18 games is who cares. Let's do it. What does it matter they play 20 games right now. Pre-season counts (as games played), regulars play Game 3 of pre-season so really it's only one extra game and they'll be paid for it so the fuck. What's all the hub-bub? Another game, another reason to stay home and watch football, another RED ZONE day, another pizza pie, more beer, wings, etc. The fuck with all the complaining about football. Everyone is acting like a bitch, like relax you'll still be able to shave your legs on Sundays faggot. Be a man. Embrace the 18 game schedule. Sissies.

You know those football trips I used to go to? Well they'll be back next year. That's all I have to say about that. Gonna knock out two next year since we missed 2 years. Also one guy dropped. Not sure why I'm telling you this.

If there was one sports venue that is no longer ERECT that you wish you could have visited what would it be? Mine would be, obviously, Ebbet's Field. Which is now a housing project of course. Close second the Polo Grounds, close third and not NYC related is Tiger Stadium. Maybe the Kingdome too. Most older parks have been completely renovated so not sure if those count but if they did Candlestick park gets on that list. Coliseum?

Overall : 19-25

NY Jets (-5.5) over Buffalo - Was impressed with Buffalo's play in New England last week but the Jets are riding high right now. Very confident team and it's not time for a letdown just yet.

Baltimore (+1) over Steelers - No one had the Steelers 4-0 without Big Ben. The Ravens will take advantage of Charlie Batch, the fairly tale for Chuck ends with a concussion. Ravens are 0-4 against the Steelers when Big Ben is quarterbacking. 1-0 when he isn't (2008 loss when Dixon started for the injured Ben). Chew on that.

Seattle @ St. Louis (+1) - The Spagnuolo's with 2 in a row! Break up the RAMS! I have a strong feeling the Seahawks will lose all their road games this year.

San Francisco (+7.5) over Falcons - Jekyll & Hyde performance from the Niners continues. This week they play like contenders. Anyone else notice how much Singeltary has shrunk since his playing days?

Cincy (-3) over Cleveland - I hope the Red Zone channel never shows this game. Even if one of the teams enter the Red Zone.

Denver (-7) over Tennessee - The Titans are not as good as people think. I guess that makes them overated. Giants destroyed them on paper. Upset special. Orton is playing excellent football right now. Without the neckbeard which is throwing people off. If they can find a running game, even if it's 70 yards and enough to keep the Titans honest they'll get a big road win.

Washington (+6) over Philly - Still dont understand Reid's decision to move McNizzle to division rival. The fact that he thinks he knows Donovan well is stupid because he knew him well when he was running HIS offense. Reid is not playing McNabb one on one in basketball he's playing a Mike Shanny led team/offense with McNabb as the QB. Andy Reid is crazy. I hope McNabb (and I've never rooted for McNabb) hangs 4 TD's at the Linc.

Carolina @ New Orleans (-15) - Gonna get ugly for Fox real soon. I smell a Claussen pick six.

Detroit (+16) over Green Bay - Taking the points, Lions hang around long enough because they'll put Rodgers on the ground 4 or 5 times.

Houston (-3) over Oakland - Foster going to have a big day, Oakland so far has been the opposite of stout against the run.

Colts (-8) over Jax - Del Rio will the first coach to go. Traditionally the Jaguars have been able to keep these games close but they have already tuned out Del Rio and given up for the year.

Arizona (+8.5) over San Diego - Chargers win but don't cover. That's a big number for them. Still can't believe the McNeil debacle.

Chicago @ Giants (-4) - Giants will be more disciplined than last week and will explode on the Bears face. Cutty with 3 picks.

New England @ Miami (+1) - Dolphins are better than the Pats. Literally. They'll play much better than last week.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"

"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem

"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug

"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino

"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H

"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino

"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino