Thursday, August 12, 2010

Spot Start

OK, firing this up on one day rest. Call me Randy Johnson. Just don't say I look like him. Cause I don't. I look for like a bald guy. Like that Matt Holliday guy maybe. I can't remember. But yeah.


So fun question they like to ask interviewees at the place cgtif works...who would play you in a movie about you and you can't say yourself....my answer is a young Bruce Willis. If not him then my twin brother who doesn't exist.

By the by, I was supposed to be twins when I was born. But then there was only me. My first words right out of the womb were "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"

Anyway, that is why my name is Thomas, it is like Hebrew or something for twin. The other dude was supposed to be Timothy. I should start having birthday parties for both of us and collect double gifts.


My work computer is slower than a fat chick running down the first base line. Unless that fat chick is quick. Sometimes they are. It is wierd. I think in that case they aren't fat, they are just thick. Chicks don't like to be called thick either. Fluffy is out too. So is jolly. If there is a fat chick and you want to call her something I suggest you don't.

I posted the post and decided to edit it more. You know why? Because I am on fiiire.


Back to that interview question...what could they possibly hope to learn from that question? Is that question really the deciding factor for someone? Like you were neck and neck with another person, but you said Robert Downey would play you and the interviewer just didn't see that, so they went with the other person who said Shaggy from Scooby Doo would play him.

At work we are in a lull of things to do. That's how it does. Shit be seasonal you. Anyway, the couple things I was going to do they hired some other guy to do. That's great, now I have nothing to do. Good thing I am too cute to fire. I hope.

I wonder how Kod is doing on that MMA game on facebook? I bet he is bored with it already.


If you could either go back in time or forward in time which would you choose? If I could be immortal I'd choose back in time. It would be cool as heck to go back to like 1,000 BC and just hang out for a couple thousand years. But if there was no immortality I'd be heading to the future so I could see if they invented an immortality drug. As you can tell, I think immortality is cool. I need to get me some of that.

Our phones at work are broke. We can not call out. But people can call us. Sweet.

OK I am now bored enough with posting that I will hit publish again and be done with it.

Enjoy.

266 comments:

1 – 200 of 266   Newer›   Newest»
El Padrino said...

Tom and Timmy

perfect

El Padrino said...

"So fun question they like to ask interviewees at the place cgtif works...who would play you in a movie about you and you can't say yourself....my answer is a young Bruce Willis. If not him then my twin brother who doesn't exist."

Dirk Diggler would play me or Randy Spears.

Mize said...

You fucker. I was typing. Welp, I guess I'll delete it.

tem said...

"You fucker. I was typing. Welp, I guess I'll delete it."

Sorry. I did check to see if someone had a draft in the works, but there was none.

tem said...

or you can just edit my post and post yours in there too.

kod said...

"I wonder how Kod is doing on that MMA game on facebook? I bet he is bored with it already."



^^^^^^^^^^^^^

tem said...

"Dirk Diggler would play me or Randy Spears."


this kind of answer would either get a ::blank stare:: or a ::not getting hired::

tem said...

i guess they ask the question to see if someone would pick a porn star.

tem said...

also for el pad i pictured a matthew broderick, or michael j fox, or verne troyer.

kod said...

Usually I hear David Spade or Haley Joel Osment


-I don't see HJO...but Spade? Yeah, kinda

tem said...

maybe a young joe pesci

tem said...

spade for kod works.

tem said...

young joe pesci was for el pad

tem said...

rev is clearly a john candy or chris farley or john goodman

tem said...

"When Kirsten Ott and Maria Palladino were preparing for their wedding in Atlanta, they were frustrated by the lack of bridal magazines geared to same-sex couples. So they started their own"


good idea to make money.

tem said...

it'll make more than the footlong mozz

El Padrino said...

"i guess they ask the question to see if someone would pick a porn star."

see, Dirk Diggler aka Mark Wahlberg and Randy Spears

My bio movie would be a porno/action/sports drama

El Padrino said...

Think XXX mixed with Boogie Nights mixed with Any Given Sunday

El Padrino said...

it would win many awards

kod said...

"rev is clearly a john candy or chris farley or john goodman"


Rev and I are in talks to star in Black Sheep 2...straight to DVD

El Padrino said...

"rev is clearly a john candy or chris farley or john goodman"

heard goodman lost like mad weight

and candy/farley died so he'd have to pick that fat black chick from Precious

kod said...

aitch

El Padrino said...

"good idea to make money."

about two years ago i said we should start a site that would hookup gays with other gays, like a gay dating service

ns

so much for the homophobe theory

money trumps all

El Padrino said...

i probably would have never went through with it due to my beleefs* but i did throw the idea out there

Blue said...

elp's movie would be a movie about a dude whacking it all the time

Blue said...

then getting his kneecaps broke by the barber

El Padrino said...

"elp's movie would be a movie about a dude whacking it all the time"

based on Charles Haley, former 49er/Cowboy defensive end

El Padrino said...

i'm extremely interested in writing a screenplay but i get as far as drafting 1/4 of it and bail

you need to have zero distractions to bang out quality writing

El Padrino said...

even if the screenplay is crap and never becomes anything i want to do it

El Padrino said...

i've always wanted to punch my father in law in the jaw

kod said...

"about two years ago i said we should start a site that would hookup gays with other gays, like a gay dating service"


craigslist?

El Padrino said...

"craigslist?"

no, like match.com but for faggots

Spaceman Spiff said...

"no, like match.com but for faggots"

hilarity if that was the company motto

Spaceman Spiff said...

gook skillz GIF

Spaceman Spiff said...

dat ass

Spaceman Spiff said...

coppin a feel GIF

Spaceman Spiff said...

dat ass link was rachel mcadams, anyone know she had that much back?

El Padrino said...

from wedding crashers? red eye?

Blue said...

she must have put on some weight

tem said...

i did know

El Padrino said...

fucking flipping gooks

tem said...

i mean did not know

tem said...

she is hot though

tem said...

i think match.com allows dudes to look up other dudes

tem said...

and chicks other chicks.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"from wedding crashers? red eye?"

part of a trailer for a new movie 'morning glory'

tem said...

that is the sequel to 'morning wood'

Blue said...

no it's the sequel to "the notebook"

tem said...

well if she gets naked then count me in

Spaceman Spiff said...

doubt it

tem said...

then count me out

tem said...

i'm going to lunch now

El Padrino said...

she's a prude

El Padrino said...

cant beleive they told Beast to pack his knives

bad, bad, bad, bad call

El Padrino said...

fucking Alex

tem said...

spiff actors would be, jackie chan, jet li or Ken Jeong

kod said...

"cant beleive they told Beast to pack his knives

bad, bad, bad, bad call"


what, no spoiler alert? I'm getting a taste of my own medicine, and it's very bitter indeed

Mize said...

I should go the the tournament today, right?

Keef said...

"spiff actors would be, jackie chan, jet li or Ken Jeong"


Or George Lopez

El Padrino said...

this pic makes me laugh for some reason

Spaceman Spiff said...

"fucking Alex"

this, fucking riding coattails to safety

Spaceman Spiff said...

swann looks like he;s blind and is having his make a wish, wish, come true

Keef said...

"I should go the the tournament today, right?"

aren't you playing?

Keef said...

Is tem's twin the one that hangs out with Brutus?

El Padrino said...

hold me Brutus

miss that

El Padrino said...

as much as i love football, i hate pre-season, almost unwatchable

Spaceman Spiff said...

chipper jones out for the year

kod said...

Distinguishing himself once more from his GOP rivals when it comes to immigration policy, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee said on Wednesday that he didn't back efforts to rethink and perhaps repeal the part of the 14th Amendment that guarantees birthright citizenship.

Speaking to NPR, the 2008 presidential candidate and current Fox News personality noted that the Supreme Court had decided "in three different centuries" that birth in the United States assured one U.S. citizenship. The discussion, in essence, was moot. Asked specifically whether he would favor repealing parts of the 14th Amendment, Huckabee replied: "I don't think that's even possible."


-wow, you know the GOP has gone completely off the deep end when the voice of reason is coming from Mike Huckabee and Lou Dobbs.

tem said...

i lost the timmy and brutus jpg

Keef said...

kod keeps trying to make this a political blog

Blue said...

"as much as i love football, i hate pre-season, almost unwatchable"

sometimes I like watching some of the rookies/younger guys, but only for the broncos.

I could give 2 shits ;( about the other teams backups

Keef said...

so you give 2 shits. got it

Blue said...

yes, 2 shits, nothing

it's like I could care less or couldn't care less

El Padrino said...

you guys never heard the two shits saying? or you just busting balls

Spaceman Spiff said...

heard of it just like i've heard of 'could care less'

Spaceman Spiff said...

went to my friends wedding rehearsal last night, im a groomsman. this will be the second wedding ive been to, the first had 10 groomsmen, this time there is 12 WFT

El Padrino said...

wow, rich people

El Padrino said...

i'm closing in on a 2nd yob, part-time, sales

Spaceman Spiff said...

why would they be they rich, they dont have to pay for the tuxes/dresses

Spaceman Spiff said...

"i'm closing in on a 2nd yob, part-time, sales"

noice*

El Padrino said...

"why would they be they rich, they dont have to pay for the tuxes/dresses"

normally when you have a large wedding party you have alot of guests

Spaceman Spiff said...

OIC, nah, they aren't rich they're mexican

El Padrino said...

makes sense

ns

El Padrino said...

mexicans just need a fucking patch of grass and a cooler to party

El Padrino said...

i enjoyed all my groomsmen roles, good times

Keef said...

"heard of it just like i've heard of 'could care less'"


this

El Padrino said...

might be a best man in the future, AHIK, but cousin just got semi serious with his chick

Keef said...

"went to my friends wedding rehearsal last night, im a groomsman. this will be the second wedding ive been to, the first had 10 groomsmen, this time there is 12 WFT"


Goddman. Someone wants their wedding noticed

Keef said...

"i'm closing in on a 2nd yob, part-time, sales"


Sales sucks. But good luck.

ns

tem said...

i've never been a groomsman

tem said...

what will LP be selling? stocks and sports picks?

Spaceman Spiff said...

shark

fuck the ocean

El Padrino said...

chipper jones out forever

*filed*

El Padrino said...

so long Larry Wayne Jones

i respect the shit out of you but hate your fucking entire existence

El Padrino said...

"what will LP be selling? stocks and sports picks?"

I wish.

I'm in the Mattress business.

NS.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"
i respect the shit out of you but hate your fucking entire existence"

would make a good list

lineup:
3B chipper
SS Jeter

El Padrino said...

"Sales sucks. But good luck.

ns"

yup thanks, just want to get my foot* wet, gonna sell real estate one day want sales experience before I start getting serious with licenses and such

Keef said...

"lineup:
3B chipper
SS Jeter"


1B Pooholes

El Padrino said...

lineup:
3B chipper
SS Jeter

good call

and across all sports too

chipper
jeter
reggie miller

El Padrino said...

McNabb
Witten

Mize said...

I'm out! PGA Championship, here I come!

El Padrino said...

think that's about it

maybe Brady maybe, dont think i have respect for him though, undecided

tem said...

selling real estate is all about who you know

tem said...

i don't hate mcnabb that much

tem said...

or witten

Blue said...

selling mattresses is nothing like selling real estate

Blue said...

i dislike Romo, for whatever reason

tem said...

bobby bowden

tem said...

which is bad for a wava guy to say.

kod said...

"kod keeps trying to make this a political blog"


politics, sports, work, the adventures of the kodashians....just a few things I enjoy talking about, here and elsewhere

tem said...

all politicians are goofy. this is a well known fact.

only idiots become politicians.

El Padrino said...

"selling mattresses is nothing like selling real estate"

ladies and gentleman Mr. Captain Obvious!!!

Let's welcome him
(applause, applause)

El Padrino said...

sales is sales

kod said...

only idiots become politicians.


I think my last shred of idealism eviscerated after the 9/11 first responder health care assistance bill failed to pass last week; both dems and repubs should be ashamed

tem said...

eviscerated >>>>>>>>> D-

Blue said...

"sales is sales"

nope

Blue said...

selling me a car and selling me a house take 2 entirely different types of salespeople

El Padrino said...

but experience wise it reads sales on the resume or bio

El Padrino said...

car salesman are barely human

El Padrino said...

real estate on the side is a perfect gig for a guy like me

El Padrino said...

i'm just trying to get a general feel for sales and marketing before i commit money to actually doing it

Blue said...

"real estate on the side is a perfect gig for a guy like me"

yep

like tem said, it's all about who you know at first though...unless you're going to put your picture on a bus bench

tem said...

if you put your picture on the bus bench you have to be attractive.

nobody ever cold calls an ugly real estate agent.

tem said...

el pad would have an easier time selling cars on the side.

weekends at a dealership.

customers come to you and you only need to know a couple products.

El Padrino said...

i cant be a car salesman, like i said they are barely human and sometimes haggle with someone all day with no sale to show for it

awfulawfulawful job, would rather clean bird shit off park benches

Keef said...

"but experience wise it reads sales on the resume or bio"


Yeah it says sales, but like bleu said, a real estate company won't look at the fact that you sold mattresses and think that you'll fit right in selling houses. Selling a house is more about being able to build relationships. Someone doesn't just go out and look at houses on a whim. If they want a house, they're going to buy one. If you build a good relationship with them, they'll buy through you. Selling a mattress, you have to deal with people who are just out and about and probably don't really need one so any shady dude can sell those. Not saying you're shady, just saying you don't need to be as focused on building the relationship with the buyer

El Padrino said...

i'm already dreading april when my car lease is up

kod said...

real estate is a tough market to crack into these days



or so I hear

El Padrino said...

"Yeah it says sales, but like bleu said, a real estate company won't look at the fact that you sold mattresses and think that you'll fit right in selling houses."

i understand this guys

really i do

kod said...

I have two family members who were laid off from their commercial real estate positions in the past year

but...that's only two (in the same metro area), so who knows?

Keef said...

"I have two family members who were laid off from their commercial real estate positions in the past year"


Jesus, aitch


(s)

Keef said...

LP can be on that Selling New York show on HGTV

tem said...

"sometimes haggle with someone all day with no sale to show for it"

real estate agents haggle for months and sometimes don't get a sale.

Keef said...

motherfuckers sell 4 million$ condos and make like 200K$ commission

tem said...

work involved in selling a house >>>>>>>>>>>>> work involved in selling a car

El Padrino said...

"real estate agents haggle for months and sometimes don't get a sale."

but when it does close it pays BIG, most of the time

tem said...

"motherfuckers sell 4 million$ condos and make like 200K$ commission"

yeah this is the who you know part of the process.

Keef said...

Eldrick -3 thru 3

Keef said...

"yeah this is the who you know part of the process."

yes

tem said...

3% is standard for buyers agent here.

3% for sellers agent too.

if you are the only agent then you'll probably get 4%.


that is around here.

differs from place to place.

and a $5M house probably would have a lower % commission.

El Padrino said...

cracking a rotation in a car dealership by only working on the weekend must be hard, got guys there all week working why should you get any foot traffic

Keef said...

7 game suspension for Kung Fu Cueto

kod said...

my dad sold cars for about 5 years

absolutely hated it; said it was by far the worst job he's had

tem said...

"cracking a rotation in a car dealership by only working on the weekend must be hard"

probably easier than cracking the multimillion dollar real estate broker business.

El Padrino said...

"3% is standard for buyers agent here.

3% for sellers agent too."

avg home, 750K = 22K

staight cash homie

Keef said...

go be a loan officer before you think about selling cars

Keef said...

"probably easier than cracking the multimillion dollar real estate broker business."


tem is being glass half empty today

tem said...

did you know there are more want-to-be real estate agents than there is want-to-be actors?

tem said...

"
tem is being glass half empty today"

someone has to because you aren't being as much as an as. as usual lately.

tem said...

avg home around here is about 175k.

El Padrino said...

"probably easier than cracking the multimillion dollar real estate broker business."

no, you get listings, your job to sell them

tem said...

i suspect if the average home price is at 750k then the commissions are a bit lower.

Keef said...

"someone has to because you aren't being as much as an as. as usual lately."


HDH

Keef said...

"avg home, 750K"


I'll take 3 of em'*


/blue

El Padrino said...

"avg home around here is about 175k."

decent money

tem said...

"no, you get listings, your job to sell them"

good luck getting a listing.

tem said...

cookie kwan is going to take you out if you touch the east side.

El Padrino said...

"i suspect if the average home price is at 750k then the commissions are a bit lower."

it aint 1% so even if it's 2%, great money or 2.8% or 1.9%

tem said...

she''ll kung fu your ass right back to selling mattresses

tem said...

you know you have to pay taxes on whatever commission you get right?

El Padrino said...

"good luck getting a listing."

assmonger if a company sponsors your test, you get listing immediately

El Padrino said...

"you know you have to pay taxes on whatever commission you get right?"

yes, still good money on the side no?

Keef said...

"you know you have to pay taxes on whatever commission you get right?"


hilarity

Keef said...

"assmonger if a company sponsors your test, you get listing immediately"

ahik*

El Padrino said...

shoulda said now i do

kod said...

"cookie kwan is going to take you out if you touch the east side."


alsome

Keef said...

I want to be a race horse trainer on the side

Keef said...

"Cookie Kwan"


::michelle kwan::

El Padrino said...

Simpsons

Keef said...

oic

El Padrino said...

"Vasectomy should not be confused with castration, which is actual removal of the testicles."


Right. It shouldn't.

El Padrino said...

"The operation was first developed by Eugen Steinach as a way to increase virility in what is now a discredited theory."

Worse guy ever.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"unless you're going to put your picture on a bus bench"

or in a urinal

El Padrino said...

i love you man

kod said...

"The operation was first developed by Eugen Steinach as a way to increase virility in what is now a discredited theory."


you mean vasectomies don't make you more fertile? Shoot, maybe that's the problem cmkod and I are having

El Padrino said...

yeah what a idiot

Spaceman Spiff said...

c-string

nice cameltoe

tem said...

"yes, still good money on the side no?"

yes. i just wanted you to know that you'd have to pay taxes. you said before you wish someone had told you about the t-bagz shirts business and taxes so i am telling you now about real estate stuff.

El Padrino said...

pic

Blue you lost, your name is Bluesectomy and that is your pic

El Padrino said...

thanks tem

ns

tem said...

"virility "


this doesn't mean the ability to knock somone up (i.e. fertility) does it? it means like getting hard and actually having sex.

i fail to see how anyone could think a vasectomy could increase fertility.

Keef said...

"it means like getting hard and actually having sex."

Now your talking my language

/LP

tem said...

vi·ril·i·ty   
1. the state or quality of being virile; manly character, vigor, or spirit; masculinity.
2. the power of procreation.

tem said...

vir·ile 

1. of, pertaining to, characteristic of, or befitting a man; masculine; manly: virile strength.
2. having or exhibiting masculine energy, forcefulness, or strength in a marked degree.
3. characterized by a vigorous, masculine spirit: a virile literary style.
4. of, pertaining to, or capable of procreation.

tem said...

so he thought cutting your wire from your balls would make you more of a man?

kod said...

"this doesn't mean the ability to knock somone up (i.e. fertility) does it? it means like getting hard and actually having sex."


from the definitions I looked up, it appears to mean either/or, or both

kod said...

always one step ahead of me, aren't ya tem?

El Padrino said...

And furthermore, the Rockies were pumping Madonna in the clubhouse before the game, and I mean that in the most innocent sense of the term. First “La Isla Bonita,” then “Like a Prayer.” Pretty weird.

wth blue

tem said...

"always one step ahead of me, aren't ya tem?"

no

kod said...

"no"



oh

tem said...

indeed

Keef said...

I-O

tem said...

quite

tem said...

everyone watch WVU football this year.

if they don't win 9 games that coach gets fired.

and they'll replace him with Pete Carrol as he returns to college.

El Padrino said...

bet?

Keef said...

1 year bet?

kod said...

will they take Rich-Rod back after Michigan fires him this season?

kod said...

"everyone watch WVU football this year."



pass

Keef said...

tem makes me aitch at least once a day

Keef said...

bold

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