Friday, August 20, 2010

Let's rap

I did it. I made a cock. I am legend.

Imagine if Tony Perez or Johnny Bench played in Great American Ballpark? Or Mike Schmidt played in CBP? They'd hit like 80 home runs. No?

Blame the BCS. That's what everyone is saying so I'm rolling with it. Stub your toe on the bed. Blame the BCS. Get your girlfriend pregnant, blame the BCS. You suck? Blame the BCS.

Clemens thinks we are dumb and it's so insulting. Really. It is.

Have fun in Chicago dickweeds. Hope nothing happens.

Dungy and Rex Ryan had a man to man talk. If they stood together Dungy on the left and Rex on the right they'd look like the number 10.

Again, I did it. I made a quarterback/centerfielder/point guard.

Look to my blog for a giant pair of baby nuts shortly.

I won't do a TOP 25 cuz keef is right. It's his parade I don't want to shit on it. I will do something though for college, just cuz I love it. Also maybe a fantasy Top 20 on each position even though you'll all ignore it and argue against it. It's the LOV way.

Astros race Taco Bell hot sauce packets? The fuck.

Nother NFL teaser? Ok sure. San Francisco will win the west. I know the QB situation is shaky but I believe. They are built like the Ravens but play not in Baltimore. They will be tough and win 10 games which will be enough. Eat it Leinart.

Combat boots. And beer.

290 comments:

1 – 200 of 290   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

Congrats on the boy EP!! (Or I guess I should say congrats on the cock EP, but that just sounds weird.)



Now try not to screw him up by demanding he be just like you.

part s, part ns

Beth said...

So last night we go to trivia at the local pizza place and a question is what 3 US states have the largest Native American population. I instantly think of Kod and tell the whole table that Minnesota is probably one of them. After everyone finishes laughing at me the answer is revealed and of course Minn is nowhere near correct.

Thanks Kod! (s)

El Padrino said...

thanks beth

i think?

El Padrino said...

were your parents this happy when they found out you were a boy too beth?

/zeke

kod said...

Thanks Kod! (s)


aha; sorry beth. I would guess AZ, New Mexico, and Oklahoma

El Padrino said...

thanks guys from the earlier thread, funny jokes too

Beth said...

"aha; sorry beth. I would guess AZ, New Mexico, and Oklahoma"

And you'd have been right.

Beth said...

So EP, has cmep brought up the boob job promise yet?

Aitch said...

I'm now sitting in O'Hare, at the gate Jug will be arriving at.

El Padrino said...

"So EP, has cmep brought up the boob job promise yet?"

almost immediately

Aitch said...

In case you missed it last night, I will say it again. Congrats, EP.

El Padrino said...

jug/meiz/tem

make sure no one buys aitch a beer, when you buy a round let him buy his own, in my honor

Aitch said...

""aha; sorry beth. I would guess AZ, New Mexico, and Oklahoma"

And you'd have been right."

Kod knows his Indians (feathers not dots)

Aitch said...

"almost immediately"

EP, dunno if you saw it last night, but my friend recently went from an A to a C and they look fantastic. Don't let Spiff spoil your fun.

Aitch said...

"jug/meiz/tem

make sure no one buys aitch a beer, when you buy a round let him buy his own, in my honor"

Chances any of them read that comment? <10% methinks.

Beth said...

"Chances any of them read that comment? <10% methinks."

Chances that aitch does all he can to distract them so that none of them read that comment = 100% methinks.

kod said...

congrats EP!

Aitch said...

And I used to think you were cool, Beth.

kod said...

"make sure no one buys aitch a beer, when you buy a round let him buy his own, in my honor"


haha, awesome (WADR Aitch)

kod said...

Chances any of them read that comment? <10% methinks.


-now that we've both re-posted it, I'm gonna say around 90%

Aitch said...

"haha, awesome (WADR Aitch)"

Listen midget... WADR to you.

Beth said...

"And I used to think you were cool, Beth"

I'm still cool, you just don't think so anymore.

El Padrino said...

thanks aitch/kod

Steve said...

Congrats EP.

Aitch said...

"I'm still cool, you just don't think so anymore."

Isn't that what I said?

El Padrino said...

"EP, dunno if you saw it last night, but my friend recently went from an A to a C and they look fantastic. Don't let Spiff spoil your fun."

good to know

El Padrino said...

thanks steve

Aitch said...

Beth, I'm still upset that you aren't here this weekend. I think you would have been fun to chill with. NS.

Aitch said...

And unlike EP or Steve, I wouldn't have tried to sleep with you. Well... I wouldn't have tried as hard ar they would.

Steve said...

just think, in two or three years he'll be looking down at you.

Aitch said...

Steve is alive

Steve said...

"And unlike EP or Steve, I wouldn't have tried to sleep with you"


tried? please. I would have knocked that out in the parking lot.

Beth said...

"tried? please. I would have knocked that out in the parking lot."

Depends on how much cash you had brought with you.

s

Aitch said...

"tried? please. I would have knocked that out in the parking lot."

Only if we visited a Cracker Barrel

Beth said...

"Beth, I'm still upset that you aren't here this weekend. I think you would have been fun to chill with. NS."

I have to admit, I never gave it much serious thought but now that y'all are there I'm kinda wishing I had. Although realistically the timing of it after my 2 recent trips would've made it impossible, both financially and cause of work.

Aitch said...

I'm sure that you would have passed up one of your trips to come on this one instead.

S

Steve said...

"I'm still upset that you aren't here this weekend"


who all is in Chicago?

Aitch said...

I'm here. Jug's plane just landed. Tem's plan comes in around 11 CDT. And Meiz is meeting us at the hotel I believe. Not sure on timing of that.

Aitch said...

Gotta roll kids. I may check in later. If not have a good weekend, all.

Steve said...

Somebody better get arrested or have their eyebrows shaved off.

If not, then all of you have failed.

Keef said...

"I'm now sitting in O'Hare, at the gate Jug will be arriving at."


hold a sign that says Jug

Beth said...

Or better yet, a sign that says jugs and see if any big breasted women approach you for a ride.

Keef said...

SG column is douchetastic

tem said...

I read the don't buy h a beer commen t

tem said...

Congrats on getting cock and big boobs el pad

tem said...

I read h's sleep with beth comment as he'd try to sleep with elpad and steve but he wouldn't try with beth

Beth said...

"I read h's sleep with beth comment as he'd try to sleep with elpad and steve but he wouldn't try with beth"

If that's what he meant I think I should feel insulted.

tem said...

I'm in cbus waiting for my flight to board...airports are boring...looks like 0 hot chicks on my plane

tem said...

Glad to see steve is alive

BLUE said...

that's the way i had it read to me as well

tem said...

If that's what he meant you should feel insulted

BLUE said...

it's my favorite black man...

steve

BLUE said...

I didn't even know H was attracted to EP or steve

El Padrino said...

tem thanks, enjoy the weekend
and remember no beer for aitch

tem said...

I thought some haitian was your favorite black man.....oh thatgs right haitians aren't black

El Padrino said...

"hold a sign that says Jug"

would be hilarity

BLUE said...

congrats EP.

I won't say that i'm jealous or bitter or envious.

even though I am

BLUE said...

I wasted the good sperm on stupid bitches I guess

El Padrino said...

thanks blue

i'll name him in your honor

s

El Padrino said...

I wasted the good sperm on tissues and in the shower stall

*filed

tem said...

I'm excited, wish I would have gotten an earlier flight now....h and jug might be drunk when I get there......also I did think it would be cool if they had a big tem sign and some floozys h picked up waiting on me when I got off the plane...then i'd sign some autographs and see if some stranger asked me for one

tem said...

Good sperm got swallowed or spit out

El Padrino said...

cmep : any name ideas?

ep : yeah how about Anthony Blue

cmep: Blue?

ep : yeah in honor of one of my interweb friends

cmep: R A, R?

BLUE said...

jug brought cgjid

BLUE said...

"Good sperm got swallowed or spit out"

or shot all over some tits


stupid college making me waste all my good guys

El Padrino said...

"I'm excited"

color me jealous

never thought this would happen

tem said...

Is she sharing a bed with meiz?

tem said...

Your college sperm were all drunk anyway

BLUE said...

"Is she sharing a bed with meiz?"

yeah, I guess she wants to go to the zoo and the chicago museum of fine arts or something, according to her FB page.

tem said...

Sounds fun...zoos are always a blast. Jug will probably try to piss on olne of the caged animals...that's how he rolls

El Padrino said...

NO SWIMMING: Martha's Vineyard waters contaminated with fecal bacteria...

El Padrino said...

"jug brought cgjid"

R J, R?

tem said...

I wasn't planning on swimming there

tem said...

its awesome that cmlp is excited for the new boobs

tem said...

Boarding the plane in about ten minutes....my last chane to bail

El Padrino said...

"Along Came Polly" (2004): Atrocious.

i loved this movie

Keef said...

"cmep : any name ideas?

ep : yeah how about Anthony Blue"



Are you really doing the Jr thing?

Keef said...

"For instance, when we take my 3-year-old to the beach, he takes his clothes off, refuses to put on a bathing suit, then walks around showing everything off for two hours."


RB, R? You let your son walk around the beach naked for 2 hours?

Tyler said...

So there's an LoV Convention in Chicago? I thought we were still two years away from the end of the world.

tem said...

time for chicago...later

Keef said...

tyler and steve in the same morning?

El Padrino said...

"Are you really doing the Jr thing?"

he'd be the IV (4th)

so no, I think it's spooky

might just do my first name and switch the middle name

El Padrino said...

jug and aitch just texted me

my jealousy meter is off the charts right now

Tyler said...

How did this happen? And now everyone's texting each other? This is crazy.

El Padrino said...

i'm putting out a contract for James Dolan's head

El Padrino said...

"How did this happen? And now everyone's texting each other? This is crazy."

i blame the juvorce

El Padrino said...

"Jeff Pearlman thinks the Mets are baseball’s worst franchise and Bobby Valentine should be the next manager."

Mets are brutal, again, because of bad ownership but worst franchise in baseball?

cmon

stop it

Tyler said...

RE: Dolan - He's still 5x the owner Donald Sterling is.

Tyler said...

"Mets are brutal, again, because of bad ownership but worst franchise in baseball?"

They are aware there's a team in Pittsburgh called the Pirates, right?

BLUE said...

and a team in Kansas City?

El Padrino said...

"They are aware there's a team in Pittsburgh called the Pirates, right?"

yeah that's what im saying, Royals hello?

BLUE said...

"RB, R? You let your son walk around the beach naked for 2 hours?"

That's how SG rolls, no tanlines for that kid

BLUE said...

although I can see that argument.

given the resources that the Mets have, to be so unsuccessful over the last few years has to be because of shitty management right?

basically, if you had better management, the team would be better.

Pitt and KC, no matter how awesome of a GM you have there's always that limit because they don't have the resources. It's kind of like the Rockies...they know they can't compete every single year because they dont have the cash, so they have to take advantage the years that they do actually have a shot

Tyler said...

You make some good arguments, but you just kind of hit on a point, the Rockies understand how it is and they do what they can when they feel they have a shot, the Royals and the Pirates have no clue/have never taken a shot in the last 20 years.

El Padrino said...

"given the resources that the Mets have, to be so unsuccessful over the last few years has to be because of shitty management right?"

i see the argument but they were in first place two years in a row and were a pitch away from the world series before that

i understand they collapsed but that's not managements fault

managements fault started right after that by not dealing with it and tying up money in the wrong players

Tyler said...

It's revisionist history, the last two years they've been horrible, so they must have been horrible for the last 10+ years. I don't buy it.

El Padrino said...

yeah me neither

Tyler said...

The Royals have had years of profit sharing, good draft picks, and they're still in the cellar. The Pirates haven't finished higher than 4th in their own division in the last 10 years (they finished 4th once). I think that's terrible management. And some point you should have even a fluke year where you could be at least in contention to win your own division.

Tyler said...

Royals finished 3rd once in the last 10 years. Every other year it's 4th or 5th. They're a dumpster fire.

Tyler said...

The Rays have shown that you can be a small market team, be terrible for a long time, and still win in a tough division. You just need a plan.

El Padrino said...

A's too

El Padrino said...

there are always teams that get it wrong for a small stretch but the pirates and the royals have gotten it wrong for LONG stretches

Keef said...

"he'd be the IV (4th)"


Thanks for clarifying what IV is

El Padrino said...

no problem ( no big deal)

Keef said...

L Cent (the rapper)

tem said...

Landed in chicago, getting ready to meet h and jug.

Keef said...

slap h in the face instead of shaking his hand

tem said...

I love the parentheses era

El Padrino said...

would be jilarity

Keef said...

Looks interesting

tem said...

I love the parentheses era

El Padrino said...

chances meiz and h swap woe stories for 8 hours one night

Keef said...

It would be funny if H was a IV

Keef said...

"chances meiz and h swap woe stories for 8 hours one night"


-160

tem said...

They put my plane in the penalty box...so we are just sitting on the runway, well next to it.

El Padrino said...

"They put my plane in the penalty box...so we are just sitting on the runway, well next to it."

jug is pumped, text me "tems plane has landed and we have beer for him"

so hope your thirsty

El Padrino said...

they are socreboard watching but instead of scores they watch planes land

i'm sure there is a drinking gmae that can be made off that

tem said...

Meiz is 30 mins into his train ride

JFreak said...

Shouldn't have checked the cessna into the boards.

Keef said...

"They put my plane in the penalty box...so we are just sitting on the runway, well next to it."


box. ewww

/mize

El Padrino said...

"Meiz is 30 mins into his train ride"

fuck meiz
he was a douchebag yesterday

tem said...

I am thirsty...will suck for them when they find out I am a twelve year old.

Keef said...

"Meiz is 30 mins into his train ride"


Would be hilarity if he didn't get a ride to the station and misst* the train

Keef said...

"will suck for them when they find out I am a twelve year old."


TWBSWSW12

tem said...

Ha!

El Padrino said...

hilarious

Keef said...

wall

El Padrino said...

bach party tomorrow, just looking forward to eating at The Palm

Keef said...

Cromartie has 4 kids who are three yrs old and the oldest of his 8 is 5? jesus

El Padrino said...

yeah it's crazy

Keef said...

fucking CM parents

El Padrino said...

you cannot blame us for that animal

Keef said...

I can

Keef said...

I will

El Padrino said...

i'm going to take a shit now, i will think of you keef

Keef said...

thanks

tem said...

Heading to town. H biught me a beer....suck it lp

Todd Packer said...

congrats on the boy, ep

Todd Packer said...

"Heading to town"

stay away from their crappy pizza

Todd Packer said...

"you cannot blame us for that animal"

dirtbag 'nole

Keef said...

"stay away from their crappy pizza"

They're in Chicago, not CM

Todd Packer said...

"They're in Chicago, not CM"

go eat some frozen cheese and tuna, keith

El Padrino said...

face

El Padrino said...

thanks tp

El Padrino said...

"H biught me a beer....suck it lp"

let me know if he buys you 12

tem said...

Pizza here is awesome....sign says everything is better in chicago

Beth said...

So are we about to get fake drunk comments from all 4 of them in Chicago?

tem said...

Fake drnuk is later

Todd Packer said...

i think the top 4 fake drunk commenters are going on the chicago trip

/meiz

tem said...

Top one for sure

BLUE said...

blue just found out that opening reception for the conference he's going to on Sunday is cash bar


that's bush league

Todd Packer said...

that's obama league

*fixed

/zeke

BLUE said...

no, in obama league everyone drinks for free

El Padrino said...

and celebrate ramadaan

Todd Packer said...

"no, in obama league everyone drinks for free"

poor people drink for free and rich people pay.... plus everyone has to drink socialist beer

El Padrino said...

i brought in some Prosecco to toast with the guys at work, it's the only thing i had, i drank all the beer i had last night with Jack Daniels

BLUE said...

"poor people drink for free and rich people pay.... plus everyone has to drink socialist beer"

rich people, unless they're bankers

BLUE said...

you and jack are buds huh?

El Padrino said...

yeah, like two peas in a pod

also johnnie and i are tight

BLUE said...

i'm sure we've talked about this before but liquor is ridiculously cheap in CA and NV

El Padrino said...

really i forget

how cheap

BLUE said...

like $17 for a half gallon of Jack

El Padrino said...

wow that's cheap

Keef said...

"go eat some frozen cheese and tuna, keith"

We're out. Gotta go to Costco tomorrow

El Padrino said...

kod jug wants to know if you want to do a standardbet on the lil league minny vs texas games?

ns

Keef said...

So TP is a Rays fan and jug is a Rangers fan? Bunch of freaks we have here

Keef said...

Going to take the computer cop test now

BLUE said...

keith wants to be a computer cop?

BLUE said...

like the interweb police?

Keef said...

OH MY GOD!! THAT'S NENAD KRSTIC' MUSIC!

Keef said...

"keith wants to be a computer cop?"

Yeah this week it's a computer cop and next week it's a physical agility cop

El Padrino said...

piece of cake

Keef said...

Have to run a mile & half in 15 minutes. I should probably run this weekend to make sure I can do that

Keef said...

That's a 10 minute mile. If I can't run a 10 minute mile, I should probably reassess things

El Padrino said...

word up

El Padrino said...

rev and aitch would not be cops

Keef said...

and mize. Even though his dad was a cop

El Padrino said...

he was gonna do that though

Keef said...

exactly

Steve said...

I call dibs on all the weed Keith confiscates.

Keef said...

Ice Cube (the rapper) Friday on the radio right now. Haven't heard that in a minute

BLUE said...

keef is gonna be like the cops in superbad

Todd Packer said...

"So TP is a Rays fan and jug is a Rangers fan? Bunch of freaks we have here"

i never said that i like the rays before? mess are my #1 team by far, but i casually root for the rays too... got a few friends that work for the rays. $$$ is good for them when the rays do well... they had many tough years before 2008

El Padrino said...

draft should be 8/29 at night, like it usually is

El Padrino said...

piece

JFreak said...

Well, it's not going to be, and I already said why.

It's labor day weekend sunday. If you want it earlier, let me know.

JFreak said...

Earlier in the day*

I think it's at 8:30 ET, now.

Keef said...

solid work this afternoon everyone

Keef said...

"i never said that i like the rays before?"

I dunno, maybe. I don't remember

Keef said...

Fucking Carlos Marmol

Keef said...

Guarantee mize was talking shit in the bar during that meltdown

Keef said...

HAHAHAHAHA, fuck the Cubs!!! Chicago is a bunch of bitches!!! Fuck everyone in Chicago!! Jug, I need another drink!

/mize

Keef said...

wall

Keef said...

fuck this place

Todd Packer said...

"Jug, I need another drink!"

funny

tem said...

Jug wins first to pass out

Keef said...

Well, he is the oldest

Todd Packer said...

i wonder how meiz paid for his drinks after jug passed out

Keef said...

I should of* bet rev on the game tonight

Keef said...

Couch night, TP?

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