Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Goodbye Bert v3.0

We hardly knew ya.




Kod is trying to pretend he doesn't care...and maybe he doesn't, it's not like bert was ever going to be Fran Tarkenton. I think it's fitting that he retired after a season ending interception in Green Bay, a season ending interception in NY, and a season ending (for all intensive purposes*) in Minneapolis. But, chances are he'll be back, so whatever

I watched Gordon Ramsey's new show "Masterchef" last night. It was like American Idol for chefs, right down to the nasty mean British guy. Problem is, American Idol early on had that hilarity of the awful singers. There might have been some awful cooks on the show, but i'll never know because I couldn't tastes* their food. That's why that show will not do well, although the food did look good, so maybe it will. It's basically "the next food network star" on Fox, with a limey brit who can be funny at times.

Btw-Gordon Ramsey has had to close a couple of his restaurants recently, maybe he should spend less time making television shows (hell's kitchen, kitchen nightmares, and masterchef) and more time actually looking after his kitchens. I don't doubt that he's a talented dude, and has way more personality than that douche Bobby Flay.

My new neighborhood has a bunch of alcoholic parents in it. Basically a couple nights a week 4 or 5 of the families get together and basically get trashed while their kids play together. I'm excited about this, the dudes seem pretty cool. It's the little things in life that make all the difference.

For guys who like boobs kinda sfw, kinda nsfw (no nudity)

280 comments:

1 – 200 of 280   Newer›   Newest»
tem said...

my flight leaves chicago at 10:53am on sunday. i have no idear* why i picked that return flight. it was probably the cheapest or something.

tem said...

i hate all cooking shows

tem said...

unless there is one where the chick is just naked. then it is really more of porn than a cooking show.

Blue said...

because they use the microwave?

tem said...

but i could give a shit less if some stupid chef's cake didn't rise enough.

tem said...

no i just think cooking shows are boring. what's next, cleaning shows?

check out the way this dude vacuums, holy shit he is talented!

then the british dude could yell at him for missing a spot under the sofa.

then we could see some chick cleaning some windows. that'd be excited.

yes, sign me up for the cleaning reality show.

tem said...

"that'd be excited."

see it has me so worked up that i type like a ratard*

Blue said...

mastercleaner

Blue said...

i'm going to agree somewhat with Tem on this.

Food can look great on TV but still tastes like shit, so who cares...all it does is make me hungry.

i'm too fucking lazy to try and make any of that stuff.

tem said...

watched Salt last night.

if angie is going to be in a movie and not get naked then they should tell me up front. it should be in the previews in big bold letters.

Blue said...

i'm hoping that everyone uses their LOV names whilst in Chicago.

Jug is the only one that is completely different than what his real name is.

Tem almost sounds right.

also hope everyone pronounces it MEEse

tem said...

i like the one show where they go to places in america and show me cheap tasty food i could get if i went there.

but showing me some idiots cooking food and apparently fucking up does not appeal to me.

tem said...

MEYZE

jugdish said...

i'm hoping that everyone uses their LOV names whilst in Chicago.


i won't be talking to myself

s

I pronounce it mEEz

jugdish said...

MMA pro fighter is down...I'm not happy about this

Blue said...

"if angie is going to be in a movie and not get naked then they should tell me up front. it should be in the previews in big bold letters."


she's a big enough star now that the inverse is true...you'd know if she was going to be naked, if you haven't heard, she probably isn't

tem said...

all the games by that company are down.

tem said...

"you'd know if she was going to be naked, if you haven't heard, she probably isn't"

you are right. this is probably true now. she hasn't been naked in a movie in awhile now. at least a big budget one.

i should have known better.

i used to assume she'd get naked, but that is a bad assumption on my part.

jugdish said...

i should have made the hotel reservations under jugdish

however, if we go out to dinner and there is a wait, I can give them jugdish as my name so they have to yell it out

jugdish said...

i won't answer it right away though...make them yell it twice. H will LOL

jugdish said...

they added something called urban gangs to mma fighter

urban gangs are like the drunk guys in blue's new neighborhood

tem said...

mma fighter is expanding i guess

tem said...

does cmblue let blue go drink with the neighbors?

jugdish said...

cmblue drinks with the neighbors

tem said...

cmblue is pregnant no?

tem said...

i thought el pad, keef and blue had one on the way.

jugdish said...

blue is always the last to know

kod said...

"Kod is trying to pretend he doesn't care...and maybe he doesn't, it's not like bert was ever going to be Fran Tarkenton."

-I'd care more if he was under 40, completely healthy, and if I thought for sure he was coming back all along.
-not sure if Minni is a serious contented even with Favre; his numbers were redonk last year...our team has not seemed to get really any better this offseason; so unless Favre put up incredible numbers like last year (which was a little flukey IMO) AND stayed healthy all year (aHiik) there was no Super Bowl in the cards anyway.

kod said...

as much as it sucks to say, I think the Packers are winning the SB this year

jugdish said...

as much as it sucks to say, I think the Packers are winning the SB this year


suite jinx

kod said...

"Some people like cheap American beer. I happen to be one of those people."



"^^^^^^^"


Amen brothas

kod said...

And Meiz, I agree, CL is huge around these parts.
-Funny thing is they never sold it around here until the early 2000s (at least not in many places). I started out drinking it mostly because it was so damn hard to find anywhere but liquor stores (which I would not use my fake ID in anyway)

tem said...

"as much as it sucks to say, I think the Packers are winning the SB this year"

this is not a ridiculous stance.

tem said...

miller lite and bud light dominate the scene here.

probably bud light moreso since there is a huge budweiser brewery here in town.

kod said...

of course in Madison it was all Miller

-but yeah, even in Minni finding a bar that had CL on tap was like hitting on a pull tab; very very rare but a pleasant surprise when it happened

Blue said...

"does cmblue let blue go drink with the neighbors?"


she does, she encourages it.

she's not pregnant anymore, at least not for the last 7 or 8 months.

and will never be preggo again

jugdish said...

i usually drink miller lite. i don't mind bud lite, it just gives me a headache if i have a lot of it

tem said...

bug light makes me poop a lot if i drink a lot of draft bud light.

tem said...

"she does, she encourages it."

she wants you out of the house. got it.

tem said...

"and will never be preggo again"

did she get fixed or did you?

jugdish said...

bug light makes me poop a lot if i drink a lot of draft bud light.


bud mud

tem said...

"like hitting on a pull tab"

bars in ND had these. they don't in ohio. i didn't get the thrill. i guess because nobody won anything and we spent $10.

if i saw someone win it would probably make it more fun. but as i saw it we just threw away $10 that could have been spent on beer.

kod said...

"if i saw someone win it would probably make it more fun. but as i saw it we just threw away $10 that could have been spent on beer."

-I once hit for $500....so I'm ahead for my life. But you're right, you rarely win on them, and there are several better ways to spend money in a bar

El Padrino said...

bobby flay is a saint!

tem said...

indeed

tem said...

that indeed was not for el pad's comment. it was for kod's comment.

El Padrino said...

saw that show too, meanwhile Ramsey is broke as fuck and a failure lately

tem said...

bobby flay can lick my scrotum

tem said...

BP > $40

jugdish said...

I just beat mize on mma fighter and got 2 experience points and $1.

El Padrino said...

what an awful day thus far

El Padrino said...

Go Missouri, it's your birthday

Go Missouri, get funky

tem said...

its only awful because you are in massive tits withdrawal mode

Blue said...

she got fixed


i gave him 99 ways to say boobs though, so he can't be in tits withdrawal mode

El Padrino said...

FOD is blocked here, i couldnt see the video

El Padrino said...

"she got fixed"

better her than you

El Padrino said...

fucking woman

Blue said...

"FOD is blocked here, i couldnt see the video"

so you haven't seen the eva mendes sex tape then either

tem said...

w
a
l
l

tem said...

╔═══╦═══╦═══╦═══╦═══╗
╠═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╣
╠═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╣
╠═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╣
╠═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╣
╠═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╣
╠═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╣
╠═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╣
╠═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╦═╩═╣
╚═══╩═══╩═══╩═══╩═══╝

Spaceman Spiff said...

dem tits

girl from 'she's out of my league'

tem said...

hungry

Blue said...

those are nice


NIIIIICE

JFreak said...

I had to shut off my TV.

They're talking about Bert again.

El Padrino said...

"so you haven't seen the eva mendes sex tape then either"

no, is it real

dont play with my emotions

El Padrino said...

seriously hellacious day

El Padrino said...

"They're talking about Bert again."

in watching sportscenter last night you know he was home watching it jerking himself off to himself

fucking guy

El Padrino said...

day just got worse

blocked from dem tits

Mize said...

"girl from 'she's out of my league'"


Holy cow, those are magnificent.

Mize said...

Bert sent dong pics to Jenn Sterger

Mize said...

Holy crap. Bert sent Jenn Sterger pics of him whackin it.

El Padrino said...

for real

Spaceman Spiff said...

caput mundi fight

ak-shun starts after a minute

El Padrino said...

pretty sure i linked that a week ago

Spaceman Spiff said...

the fight or the dong story?

s

kod said...

"Brett Favre told ESPN's Ed Werder in Hattiesburg, Miss., on Wednesday that he has not made any decision about returning to play for the Minnesota Vikings this season and says he will play if healthy."

-this is also why I'm not paying too close attention; if he's not there by the week 4 bye, then (and only then) will I be totally convinced that he is done for good.

Keef said...

"no, is it real

dont play with my emotions"


I linkt* it in lovad

tem said...

keef linked the mendes stuff

tem said...

damn kethcup

tem said...

"Bert sent dong pics to Jenn Sterger"

no he didn't and who is Jenn Sterger?

El Padrino said...

this is not funny

tem said...

nobody said it was funny.

tem said...

UFC Talk:


tem picks:

Anderson Silva vs. Chael Sonnen

i hope sonnen wins. i dislike silva. he plays around too much. but he is about 3 times as good as sonnen so he will win.

sonnen is guaranteed to lose because i want him to win. people i really want to win never do.

sonnen will take him down, throw a few punches and then get submitted by an armbar or choke.

El Padrino said...

just saw the Dockett/Brown "brawl"

it was a sack

Blue said...

it's not "unfunny"

tem said...

UFC Talk:


tem picks:

Jon Fitch vs. Thiago Alves


I always think Fitch looks a bit overmatched, but he wins more often than not. He is from Fort Wayne, which is where exfemtem is from.

I see this being a mostly stand up game where alves picks fitch apart. but then i see fitch coming through in the end and getting a tko.

Fitch wins, but only after being punched and kicked a lot.

tem said...

UFC Talk:


tem picks:

Clay Guida vs. Rafael dos Anjos

I used to hate clay guida. he reminded me of a dirty hippy and i hate dirty hippies.

but i think he is ok now.

guida will try to take this to the mat, if he does he'll have to ground and pound a quick win out. if he stays on the mat too long he will get submitted.

guida will bleed a lot in the fight too, i think he cuts himself prefight just so he looks all bloody. he always gets bloodied up.

anyway, dos anjos should be able to pick guida apart in the stand up game or if it does go to the mat he'll submit guida eventually.

dos anjos wins. guida gets really bloody and it will be a fun fight to watch.

tem said...

UFC Talk:


tem picks:

Matt Hughes vs. Ricardo Almeida

Hughes has been fighting forever. He is a hall of famer on his near last legs. Not Marc Coleman last legs though, so he still has some fight in the tank.

I think the UFC put this fight together to get Hughes out of the octogon. Almeida is just going to take him down and submit him. Which will make hughes very sad since he used to be good at stuffing takedowns.

In the end Hughes is too old and slow. Almeida ain't all that, but he is enough. He will win via the ground game.

tem said...

UFC Talk:


tem picks:


Junior dos Santos vs. Roy Nelson

Roy Nelson is a big fat hell of a fighter. I never understand how he wins. I think he mostly just gets taken down then rolls on top of the other guy.

His punches are solid enough to do damage, but he isn't to be confused with young Tyson.

Dos Santos is supposed to be awesome. Good on his feet and he will have a ton better cardio than Nelson. He is good enough on the ground to not get KOed or submitted by Nelson.

So this fight should come down to cardio plus whoever is better on their feet. Both those things go to Dos Santos.

Dos Santos will tire Nelson out then KO him.

El Padrino said...

oh tem

Blue said...

tem watches guys who like to get oiled up and half naked

but won't watch cooking shows

tem said...

UFC Talk:


tem picks undercard:

Dustin Hazelett vs. Rick Story

I always get Hazelett mixed up with some librarian. Then he beats up the guy if the guy isn't awesome. Rick Story isn't awesome. Hazelett will win via submission.

Phil Davis vs. Rodney Wallace

I have not heard of Rodney Wallace. I'll say Phil Davis wins because I have heard of him.

Johny Hendricks vs. Charlie Brenneman

Charlie Brenneman sounds like the name of a sportscenter anchor. Johny Hendricks sounds like the name of a soccer player. I will say Charlie wins because he spells his name right.

Stefan Struve vs. Christian Morecraft

Stefan Struve is like 10 feet tall. Christian Morecraft is not. Morecraft has never lost and I don't think he does here either. Struve is just a big tall guy which decent skills. He is never going to win big in the UFC so he is on his way out. The UFC paired him up with someone that should show him the door.

Tim Boetsch vs. Todd Brown

Boetsch is big and looks like a cop. Brown looks like a guy who wears a popped collar.

Boetsch will be fighting for his UFC life hear. Brown is probably just happy to be there. I'll say Boetsch wins.

Ben Saunders vs. Dennis Hallman

Saunders is pretty tough. He is on the undercard because he lost against really good guys. Hallman is a fight for Saunders to get back on his feet and get some wins. Hallman has fought like 60 times though so he is experienced. He wins more often than not, but this will be a loss. Saunders will KO him early.

tem said...

"tem watches guys who like to get oiled up and half naked

but won't watch cooking shows"


they don't oil up in the UFC. that is illegal.

tem said...

still can't believe el pad doesn't like UFC. seems to be right up his alley.

Mize said...

A good boxing match is always better than whatever a "good" MMA fight would be considered.

Mize said...

Wyclef is running for president of Haiti?

tem said...

"A good boxing match is always better than whatever a "good" MMA fight would be considered."

i disagree, but that's ok with me.

El Padrino said...

"A good boxing match is always better than whatever a "good" MMA fight would be considered."

el pad likes boxing or used to

Mize said...

A-Rod. 600.

tem said...

media made up the bert favre retirement story to take the pressure off of arod so he could hit 600

Spaceman Spiff said...

rev calm your father in law down

i punk your mother!

Blue said...

i punk you, i punk you mother

Keef said...

"Ben Saunders vs. Dennis Hallman "

I hope Saunders does his "lock the guy's head down and throw knees mercilessly" routine

Keef said...

"A good boxing match is always better than whatever a "good" MMA fight would be considered."


Too bad a good boxing match happens about every other year

Keef said...

CarGo on Rome, blue. Or was on, for you. But currently on, for me

Blue said...

Cargo is awesome...

could be a superstar the next 5 years if he doesn't play in CO

Keef said...

ahik*

El Padrino said...

what does that even mean

El Padrino said...

not AHIK, blues comment

Mize said...

goddmann acronyms

El Padrino said...

ISWYDT

Keef said...

"what does that even mean"

Cargo won't become a superstar in CO. RIF

Keef said...

I just got an email from BlackSinglesDating

Keef said...

wall

Blue said...

yeah, if cargo played for a big market team, everyone would already be crazy about him, he'd be the next griffey jr or whatever...

Blue said...

people forget he was trifling so bad at one point last year he got sent down to AAA to get his head straight.


since he came back up last year dude has been amazing

Keef said...

Jugdish

kod said...

"I just got an email from BlackSinglesDating"


you should be expecting an email from AZSwingingCouples shortly asswell; you really shouldnt make your email addy so public


(s...I didn't sign you up for any dating sites; although I have pranked a few friends that way)

Keef said...

"yeah, if cargo played for a big market team, everyone would already be crazy about him, he'd be the next griffey jr or whatever..."

Except if he goes to NY

ns

kod said...

"The last time the Counting Crows Traveling Circus & Medicine Show toured, lead singer Adam Duritz says he "was taking steroids so heavily to keep my voice together that I almost lost a leg."


-great, first A-Rod and now Duritz? Your boy's dirty Keith

Keef said...

he needed the roids to keep his energy because he was banging the shit out of jennifer anniston & courtney cox in their primes

Keef said...

Los doesn't know what he's getting into on LP's blog

Mize said...

Yeah, I was gonna warn him last night.

Blue said...

lp has a blog?

tem said...

el pad should focus his energy here

El Padrino said...

"Cargo won't become a superstar in CO. RIF"

knew what he meant just didnt know why

tem said...

if you knew what he meant then why did you say "what does that even mean"

El Padrino said...

i have like 5 blogs

El Padrino said...

like when the guy from softball said "stay within yourself"

what does that even mean

kind of way

Blue said...

gotchya

i mean that nobody in Colorado will ever be a superstar (at least not in baseball)

Although with Jiminez, Tulo, and CarGo that's a pretty solid core that is all under 26 and all signed for the foreseeable future.

tem said...

what guy from softball?

Blue said...

cargo reminds me of beltran before he watched strike 3

tem said...

"foreseeable future."

just how long is the foreseeable future?

i can't see into the future at all.

tem said...

cargo reminds me of bonds before he starting bulking up.

El Padrino said...

"Although with Jiminez, Tulo, and CarGo that's a pretty solid core that is all under 26 and all signed for the foreseeable future."

^this

is what i was thinking
they got a few hot prospects too outside of that Jhoulys kid

El Padrino said...

"what guy from softball?"

when i played sunday, recanted the story on monday

Blue said...

"just how long is the foreseeable future?

i can't see into the future at all."

that's because you're not a scientist

tem said...

you recanted it?

El Padrino said...

or recounted, whatever word makes sense

tem said...

depending on what you actually did they both could make sense.

Blue said...

foreseeable future is an double entendre though

you can only have foresight into the future.

Blue said...

recounted is what they did to the hanging chads in florida

tem said...

"you can only have foresight into the future."

aren't you mister philosophy today.

Beth said...

Surprise, I'm not dead.

I've actually been MIA due to a combination of a vacation (Niagara Falls & Canada), being swamped at work when I got back, our internet at work being out for most of the time since I got back, and of course not wanting to have my name changed to admit I love Keef.

Ok, the last one was sarcasm. Let me go change it now.

tem said...

who was that?

I ♥ Keef said...

Damn this is scary!

I ♥ Keef said...

Whoever it was, she's gone now.

Keef said...

"I've actually been MIA due to a combination of a vacation (Niagara Falls & Canada), "


How's Teej doing?

Keef said...

You can just do the name/pic for 1 day, beth

Keef said...

thanks for being a trooper and non-weasel

I ♥ Keef said...

"How's Teej doing?"

Let's just say I shoulda got a hotel closer to the 7-11.

tem said...

"being swamped at work when I got back"

guys at work didn't order a hooker to fill in for you?

I ♥ Keef said...

"You can just do the name/pic for 1 day, beth"

Nah, I'll finish out the week with it. I'm no H.

Keef said...

"Let's just say I shoulda got a hotel closer to the 7-11."


hindsight > than foresight

I ♥ Keef said...

"guys at work didn't order a hooker to fill in for you?"

I have special skills. No hooker can replace me.

Keef said...

"Nah, I'll finish out the week with it. I'm no H."


It's not being a weasel if someone tells you not to pay up

Keef said...

"I have special skills. No hooker can replace me."


TOTPM?

I ♥ Keef said...

"It's not being a weasel if someone tells you not to pay up"

Already tired of seeing your face on LOV I see. I don't blame you.

Keef said...

"Already tired of seeing your face on LOV I see. I don't blame you"

yeah that was fat keef. Now I'm just phat

Blue said...

gross

Blue said...

i threw up just a little in my mouth

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Jerry Douthett wouldn't get his severely infected toe examined. Then one night, after drinking "five or six beers" and "huge margaritas," he passed out and his dog, Kiko, crawled into bed and ate his big toe. It saved Jerry's life."

I ♥ Keef said...

Did y'all know that if you stay near the Canadian border and go for a run into Canada and want to come back into the US, in addition to needing your passports you need 50 cents per person? Yeah, neither did me and my friend, so we had to beg for money from Canadian strangers.

Not exactly a USA, USA, USA, USA!! moment.

tem said...

"TOTPM?"

only if we remove some of the other stuff.

IMO the boston one can come down, so can the vegas one and the dildo one.

tem said...

"Yeah, neither did me and my friend, so we had to beg for money from Canadian strangers. "


and how many of them said "show me your tits and the cash is yours"?

or did you just say "we'll show you our tits for a dollar"?

tem said...

"and ate his big toe. It saved Jerry's life."

dogs know

kod said...

"Did y'all know that if you stay near the Canadian border and go for a run into Canada and want to come back into the US, in addition to needing your passports you need 50 cents per person?"


-I did not, but it's pretty funny we now have an admission fee

kod said...

did they stamp your hand in case you wanted to run back to Canada later in the day?

tem said...

that's funny

I ♥ Keef said...

"or did you just say "we'll show you our tits for a dollar"?"

Actually, I had forgotten to take off my garter from work the night before so I just walked around and guys put bills in it. I guess "begged" was too strong a word.

I ♥ Keef said...

"I did not, but it's pretty funny we now have an admission fee"

The funny part is the fee is when you are leaving Canada. It's like they are trying to keep you there. Leaving the US and going into Canada is free if you're a pedestrian.

tem said...

if you want to leave the US for any reason then you gotta pay to get back in.

that's why the USA is so great. its the cover charge.

tem said...

ben wallace for 2 more years with the Pistons? seriously? he is sooo washed up.

El Padrino said...

that pic is offensive

El Padrino said...

but i'm glad my boo is back

tem said...

i thought you had that pic on your mantle.

or dartboard.

El Padrino said...

"I have special skills. No hooker can replace me."

Heineken bottle

disappeared

vegas

Keef said...

"that pic is offensive"

You know what's not offensive? Mess hitters

tem said...

ISWKDT

Blue said...

i never had to pay to get into any country

Blue said...

i think the border patrol agent wanted to see beth's tits

tem said...

does nolan ryan think he can outbid mark cuban for anything?

Keef said...

running whilst on vacation sounds like the opposite of a good way to spend a vacation

tem said...

"i never had to pay to get into any country"

when you take the private jet you don't have to.

Keef said...

If Cuban buys the Rangers, he'll keep Nolan on the payroll

tem said...

no, he will bury ryan for opposing him.

Keef said...

ya'll gon make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here

tem said...

those are song lyrics

Blue said...

looks like mark cuban might own the rangers soon

Blue said...

that comment took way to long to post,

I had the foresight to see what keith used to be thinking

Blue said...

CarGo with another HR today

Keef said...

"those are song lyrics"


Yeah, some country song

s

Spaceman Spiff said...

saw a commercial that wingstop now has 50 cent boneless mondays and tuesdays, looked online and not available at any CA locations so far, the fuck

Keef said...

what about AZ locations

Mize said...

"and the dildo one."


That's the best one

Spaceman Spiff said...

AZ-Tucson-Broadway
AZ-Tucson-Campbell Rd
AZ-Tucson-Ina Rd
AZ-Tucson-Silverbell Rd
AZ-Tucson-Valencia

Keef said...

"AZ-Tucson-Broadway
AZ-Tucson-Campbell Rd
AZ-Tucson-Ina Rd
AZ-Tucson-Silverbell Rd
AZ-Tucson-Valencia"

You're an officer and a gentleman

Keef said...

but all those locations suck because they aren't close to me

Keef said...

but all those locations suck because they aren't close to me

Keef said...

bold

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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino