Wednesday, August 11, 2010

From the Cheap Seats

cmBlue won the sweepstakes yesterday. She got a check in the mail for 3K, telling her that it was to cover the taxes on her winnings of 65K. It was a real check, very authentic. I was thinking how i'd have to split the 65K 8 ways with LoV. But then it dawned on me that this might be a scam. The check was very very real looking. So I tried to google the scam and nothing came up. I kept trying to figure out how they're scamming me. So I called them. I told them I was very excited to have won and couldn't wait to get my 65K. I told them that Meiz could really use the 8K share he was going to get, but I had a few questions.

First question to the guy: "Is this legit"

answer: "oh yes, absolutely, you're one of the lucky winners"

blue: "why did you send me only $3k"

answer: "that's for the taxes on the winnings, you just need to wire us that money back and we'll release your funds"

blue: "why would the taxes only be 4.5%? You should have sent me a check for roughly $25K for taxes"

answer: "the tax rate on sweepstakes is only 4.5% in the US"

blue: "if you're giving me the money for the taxes, don't I have to include that in my taxable winnings, so now I really have to pay tax on $68K"

answer: "Unfortunately, I can't give you tax advice, I just process the winnings"

blue: "ok, then why do I pay you the taxes, what assurance do I have that you will remit these taxes to the correct taxing agencies?"

answer: "umm, well, all I know is that in order for you to receive your $65K, you need to wire us back the taxes, and that will allow us to release payment"

blue: "I think i'll just handle the taxes on my own, I think I have enough deductions to cover the extra income, please send me my winnings"

answer: "the government won't let us release the funds until you prove you've paid your taxes"

blue: "this sounds kind of fishy to me, like mail fraud, I think i'll take this to the local authorities to see what they think"

answer: ::click::


Anyway...I was listening to a classic rock station this morning hoping to hear the eagles, but stupid Journey came on...they aren't classic anything except classic shit.

I decided that I like the Who the best of all classic rock bands, I hate zeppelin, I really hate the stones, and the Who is just pretty awesome. I compare them to John Elway, someone who's accomplishments get better the longer they've been out of the game.

Brandon Phillips ain't no bitch, at least he's making the series entertaining.

Fuck Mike Pelfrey...his line against the rockies this year 14innings, 0runs, everyone else he has an era of like 6.38.

167 comments:

El Padrino said...

suite deul blue

El Padrino said...

deul

El Padrino said...

duel

El Padrino said...

doole

El Padrino said...

dule

El Padrino said...

dual

El Padrino said...

dool

El Padrino said...

duil

El Padrino said...

you know i told cmep that jet blue story yesterday (how she didnt already hear of it bottled* my mind) and her first response was

Why did he get arrested....

El Padrino said...

she's a rebel that cmep

Blue said...

cmblue axed the same thing


she hadn't heard the story either

Blue said...

i swear women live in their own world sometimes

Blue said...

O:FI?

Blue said...

O:FLOV?

El Padrino said...

what a brutal brutal conf call

El Padrino said...

i swear women live in their own world sometimes

^^this

oblivious to all news not concerning celebs and tv shows

she asked me the other day about the AZ law thing, what's that 2 months old now?

yes she knows Bethany's baby decor like the back of the her hand

Spaceman Spiff said...

"i swear women live in their own world sometimes"

that world hasnt embraced the entire interwebz

Spaceman Spiff said...

had some hard boiled eggs last night, yolk was perfect

El Padrino said...

do you like poached? with runny yolk?

Blue said...

i don't like HB eggs, or poached eggs sam I am

Spaceman Spiff said...

not a fan of poached

Spaceman Spiff said...

oldie but goodie GIF

Spaceman Spiff said...

i like runny yolk with toast, i'll get over easy or over medium

Blue said...

yes, runny yolk is good with toast.

omelette..yes please

El Padrino said...

wonder what she said

El Padrino said...

i like poached, depending on the dish

Mize said...

"over medium"


What is over medium?

Spaceman Spiff said...

EPs favorite.pic.evar!!!

Spaceman Spiff said...

"What is over medium?"

cooking both sides but longer than over easy

Spaceman Spiff said...

used to eat over well as a kid and still like it for sandwiches

Spaceman Spiff said...

montana fishburne was already in a porno, but they didnt mention she was morpheus' daughter in that one, hilarity

do-over!

El Padrino said...

why do i have to dial so many numbers to call overseas?

Spaceman Spiff said...

so the phone can tell if youre trying to reach uncle vinny in italy, not uncle vinny in long island

Blue said...

my cousin vinny

Mize said...

Got some disheartening news today. Motherfuck.

El Padrino said...

"Got some disheartening news today. Motherfuck."

Andy told Meiz Andy is gay?

Mize said...

Dummy's gonna roll up in here in 45 minutes and make my shitty day even worse.

Blue said...

"Got some disheartening news today. Motherfuck."

she's pregnant

Mize said...

Motherfucking shit.

Mize said...

"she's pregnant"


Not unfunny

Spaceman Spiff said...

before

after

fat bitch hilarity

Blue said...

that's some funny shit right there

Spaceman Spiff said...

vagina on the back of a hand

El Padrino said...

"fat bitch hilarity"

hahahhahahahahahahahahaaaa

El Padrino said...

it's funny cuz they're fat

El Padrino said...

True Romance cast is one for the ages, old ass flick too

got stuck watching it last night, could turn the channel

El Padrino said...

n't

Keef said...

"lots of people think this is less efficient than just leaving it on at whatever temperature you like. the thought is that the place heats when you are gone, so then you get back and turn on the AC. The AC has to work really hard to get the temp down to where you want it. Harder than it would have worked had it just been maintaining a lower temp."


I've heard other people say this but nerve* seen any evidence that it's true.

Keef said...

yes she knows Bethany's baby decor like the back of the her hand


He just likes to remind us of his talents sometimes

El Padrino said...

jblue flight att. boyfriend pic in this article is hilarious

El Padrino said...

Harry Reid: 'I don't know how ANYONE of Hispanic heritage could be Republican'...

wow

El Padrino said...

Obama: $3 Billion More in Aid for Unemployed...

Wow

El Padrino said...

market getting raped

El Padrino said...

"Restaurant chain Denny's updated its value menu with the Fried Cheese Melt, a sandwich made with "four fried mozzarella sticks and melted American cheese grilled between two slices of sourdough bread." Priced at a reasonable $4, it's served with french fries and a side of marinara sauce. Deep-fried cheese sticks inside a pan-fried grilled cheese sandwich"!


I gotta get going with the footlong mozz stick

El Padrino said...

guy fieri profile

Keef said...

big day

Blue said...

of course the jetblue guy lives in Queens

Blue said...

four team trade the pacers get the steal

funniest line of the article: "The Hornets are hoping that the addition of Ariza addresses Paul's concerns about the team's commitment to winning "

yeah because adding Trevor Ariza means champyunship

El Padrino said...

spiff Grimaldis for whatever reason arent paying their rent and could be gone from the DUMBO location shortly

crazy

Blue said...

they aren't "paying their rent" or they haven't paid the landlord

one gets you kilt, other gets you evicted

El Padrino said...

landlord

El Padrino said...

and probably because they aint paying the rent
;(

kod said...

gotta love the winking frown; makes me aitch every time I see it (ns)

Spaceman Spiff said...

"spiff Grimaldis for whatever reason arent paying their rent and could be gone from the DUMBO location shortly"

glad i ate there when i had the chance

El Padrino said...

Raiders' Davis likens Campbell to Plunkett

El Padrino said...

cueto kick

FINISH HIM

Keef said...

I had Grimaldi's last weekend

Keef said...

Looks like the Reds are the ones who are bitches this wek

Spaceman Spiff said...

wek=3 days

Blue said...

fuck the ress

Keef said...

"wek=3 days"

this

Keef said...

standard 3 day bet, aka "wek"

tem said...

"I've heard other people say this but nerve* seen any evidence that it's true."

i've been testing the theory out this last month. i'll report my findings once i get a bill

tem said...

they got rid of the wek

El Padrino said...

cue uncle joey, alanis is pregnant

Blue said...

pregnant by a white rapper that is not named "snow"

El Padrino said...

found out what my wedding song is, it's awful

also i liked the "2nd wedding song" better and argued that be the one

i remember this shit now

Mize said...

Fuck the police

Keef said...

"i've been testing the theory out this last month. i'll report my findings once i get a bill"


My mom & step dad bolth work for the electric company here and they turn their thermostat up during the day too, so that's why I do it

Keef said...

The main reason is because during the day is high peak time so rates are way higher. I turn ours down after 6pm (PST) when the rates are lower

Keef said...

man your so cheap

/LP

El Padrino said...

you are an effecient man

El Padrino said...

not me

El Padrino said...

what happened today

Keef said...

"what happened today"

LoV suckt

Keef said...

"not me"

fucking gross

El Padrino said...

didnt know some of youz guys were muslims, today first of Ramadan

Keef said...

I'm trying to figure out how I'm gonna spend my powerball winnings

El Padrino said...

i do that all the time

NS

Keef said...

I'll give $50 to LP to get out of debt (aka gamble with)

$30k to blue to reverse the vasectomy so he can have a boy

$10k to tem so he can buy a suite ring for femtem

$30k to mize so he can buy a used truck and bass bought*

$5k to rev so he can get a lifetime supply of cheez wiz

$0 to h until he pays LP his beer

$10k to yug so he can buy a suite ring for femjug

$100k to spiff so he'll nerve try to dig up dirt on me

$50k to kod so he can get fertile

$5k to freak so he can buy a lifetime supply of kamikaze mix

$5k to zeke so he won't quit

$20k to TP so he can throw a suite tailgate party and invite all the homeless people in Gainesville


($)

Keef said...

that's supposed to be $50k to LP

Keef said...

I know I'm missing someone

El Padrino said...

beth

Mize said...

"gotta love the winking frown; makes me aitch every time I see it (ns)"


Agreed

Mize said...

"what happened today"


I had to go talk to a detective.

El Padrino said...

about

Keef said...

Was someone staling from UPS?

Keef said...

"beth"

Oh, right. I can't give her any money because that would be considered prostitution, which is illegal here

Keef said...

Did mize get busted for paying hoes to fuck him?

Keef said...

aja, hope everything's cool, mize

Keef said...

I ♥ cheddar &; sour cream ruffles

Keef said...

mize kilt LoV

Mize said...

"about"


Some lady is alleging that one of us stole a ring she allegedly shipped. Yet she made no mention of said ring when she shipped it. She also says she had it hidden in the garbage bag full of clothing she shipped. We're pretty much calling bullshit on her.

Keef said...

Is it bad that I care more about the Reds finishing ahead of the Mess than getting to the playoffs?

Mize said...

Sorry. I was catching up on my twitter timeline.

Mize said...

"Is it bad that I care more about the Reds finishing ahead of the Mess than getting to the playoffs?"


No. You can root for that. I've taken over the rooting for the Reds to win the division part of your fandom.


You're welcome.

Keef said...

blame it on dummy

Keef said...

"No. You can root for that. I've taken over the rooting for the Reds to win the division part of your fandom."

A) I'm still rooting for them to win it. I just want some fresh kielbasa.

B) Thanks for the sweep, fag

El Padrino said...

"Is it bad that I care more about the Reds finishing ahead of the Mess than getting to the playoffs?"

you love me

Keef said...

We are having a meeting at 3:00 (PST) at Culvers and boss lady is buying . Suite

Keef said...

"you love me"

I love kielbasa

Mize said...

Rome's horse won today

Keef said...

No shit? He was talking it up a lot today

El Padrino said...

"A) I'm still rooting for them to win it. I just want some fresh kielbasa."

yeah sure

/aitch

Spaceman Spiff said...

"I ♥ cheddar &; sour cream ruffles"

they are phenomenal

Keef said...

"yeah sure

/aitch"


ha

Blue said...

keilbasa is portugeuse?

El Padrino said...

polish

El Padrino said...

its basically a gourmet hot dog

ns

Mize said...

"Gomes on Cueto kicking #littlebitches: "If you don't want to get kicked, don't be within kicking distance." Sound advice."

Mize said...

""I ♥ cheddar &; sour cream ruffles"

they are phenomenal"


Sometimes the saltiness gets a little overbearing, but yes. Phenomenal.

Mize said...

"its basically a gourmet hot dog"


Polish sausage > Kielbasa

Spaceman Spiff said...

no zeke for the knicks, damn

Mize said...

Suite. I earned a .25% APR rebate on my car loan.

Aitch said...

"I hate zeppelin"

Now Blue is dead to me too.

Aitch said...

"Restaurant chain Denny's updated its value menu with the Fried Cheese Melt, a sandwich made with "four fried mozzarella sticks and melted American cheese grilled between two slices of sourdough bread." Priced at a reasonable $4, it's served with french fries and a side of marinara sauce. Deep-fried cheese sticks inside a pan-fried grilled cheese sandwich"!

Otherwise known as a heart attack on a bun.

Keef said...

"Polish sausage > Kielbasa"

i agree

Keef said...

I am also not a zeppelin fan

Keef said...

but I don't listen to much classic rock

Mize said...

I gotta do some whites tonight

Keef said...

"oldie but goodie GIF"


That's mize, right?

Keef said...

just fird* up the grill for stakes* & potatoes & cotc

kod said...

I agree with you about The Who, Blue; they are pretty grate.

Mize said...

I don't care for The Who. Not sure why, they just don't do it for me.

kod said...

I love Zeppelin too though

kod said...

and Journey (ns)

Keef said...

Styx is the greatest band in the world and the only get a bad rep because most critics are cynical as.holes

Mize said...

I've traded in the magazines for books about resume writing and interviewing, in the bathroom.

Mize said...

I've been drinking vodka & lemonade lately. I've been housing them. Not good.

Keef said...

I got some absolut acai from work a couple weeks ago and it's not that grate. Too fruity

Keef said...

but it was free so I'm not woeing

Keef said...

"not woeing"


INCONCEIVABLE!!

/aitch

Mize said...

I feel dirty for reading these college books about interviewing.

A lot of this shit goes against my sensibilities and morality.

America wants everybody to be a fucking robot.

kod said...

"Guillen said that the Twins were baseball's most underrated team ("They're so underrated you can't believe it"), that Ron Gardenhire was baseball's most underrated manager and that Michael Cuddyer was baseball's most underrated player.

"They play the game right," Guillen said, repeatedly. "They've got good players. They're good. They find a way to beat you. They play good. They're not arrogant. They play the game."

-Guillen hearts the Twins. It's funny, for pretty competitive rivals, there really is no bad blood between the teams

Aitch said...

"Got some disheartening news today. Motherfuck."

Now what?

Mize said...

"Now what?"


Don't worry about it, man. Nevermind.

Mize said...

"Guillen hearts the Twins. It's funny, for pretty competitive rivals, there really is no bad blood between the teams"


Ozzie is the best. I wish there was some way the Brewers could steal him away from the Sox. Easily my favorite manager in MLB.

kod said...

yeah, I like Ozzie a lot. If we didn't have Gardie, I'd love for him to manage the Twins

Aitch said...

"Don't worry about it, man. Nevermind."

I see now. I cot* up.

Aitch said...

That's shitty.

Mize said...

Oh, that wasn't the bad news.


ns

Mize said...

It was much more disheartening than having to talk to the 5-0

Aitch said...

Remember when people used to comment here? That was fun.

JFreak said...

you're a whiner.

Aitch said...

"you're a whiner."

Shouldn't you be going to town on a sock right now?

Aitch said...

I'm going to the Patriots game tomorrow. Suite* seats for free. I'm psyched, even though it is only preseason.

Keef said...

O:FCM

Keef said...

TP is in town teach BBRod how it works

Mize said...

Nice golf picks, mize

El Padrino said...

i guess jug is out of town

tem said...

yeah jug needed a spot start and you said you'd cover for him.

El Padrino said...

No i didnt, liar.

tem said...

you just don't remember saying it

tem said...

you also said that keef was the best and that if beth wanted you to have sex with her you would say no.

El Padrino said...

body of lies

El Padrino said...

post something you jagaloon i'm busy

tem said...

GO

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino