Monday, August 16, 2010

Does this post make me look fat?

Man, LoV is a sack of shit lately. I giant bag of ground up, steamy shit. Remember when the weekends would get 200-300 comments? Well say good bye to those days. We'll probably never see rev again until the TCS.

I know there aren't many ladies here, so Beth, mize, &; freak this is for you. Stop asking us questions. It doesn't matter what the question is. Stop asking us. The answer is nerve* going to be what you're looking for, so just stop. cmk axes me "Do I look fat"? I say no. She says "yes I do". I say no you don't. She gives me a ::flank steak:: and I say, "you're 4 1/2 months pregnant. Obviously you're going to get bigger because of nature". X wrong answer. Now, I didn't say yeah you're fat. I used common knowledge to point out the obvious. But me saying no was wrong, and me being the scientist was wrong. So stop axing us questions.

So a stupid play golf rule prevented the PGA tourney from having 3 play golfers in the playoff. Dude is in an area that the spectators trampled on all weekend, but it's considered a "sand trap". Play golf rules are stupid sometimes.

The Reds are back in 1st place. Jinx. In terms of LoV bet's* the Reds are 8.5 games in front of the Mess and 12.5 games in front of the Breers.

The Tesus era has started in Denver. He's on pace for 60 preseason TDs in his career.

New season of softball started last night. I'm playing on 2 teams this season. The shitty team I was on is shittier than ever. During the 1st week, they have every team play to determine what level they'll be playing at. I think there are 6 league levels at this park. Low & high rookie, low and high A, and low &; high AA. The shitty team lost 31-4 so hopefully they'll stick us in low rookie league again. The other team is a little better. We won our classification game, against my other shitty team no less, 17-8. We kind of tanked it after the 1st inning to keep it close so we wouldn't get put into an upper league. This is boring me now, which means it bored you all about 50 words ago.

I'm tired. Go comment.

265 comments:

1 – 200 of 265   Newer›   Newest»
Aitch said...

"I'm tired. Go comment."

Woe.

Aitch said...

"Remember when the weekends would get 200-300 comments?"

Weekend post had 347 comment, Keithford.

Beth said...

Finally back from all my travels (well except for Labor Day at Hilton Head) and I'm now officially broke, but it was well worth it. (How about a loan Blue?)

And while I really enjoyed Niagara Falls and Canada, it can't compete with Puerto Rico. Amazingly beautiful and fun place to go if anyone ever has a chance, and the people are in general VERY fit and VERY attractive (men and women), not to mention full of personality and zest for life.

One guy actually introduced himself to me with this line: "My name is Antonio, like Banderas but better looking." (And no, I didn't sleep with him.)

Now it's back to work, ugh.

El Padrino said...

31-4

no mercy rule i guess

El Padrino said...

you so slept with a puerto rican

Bluesectomy said...

so you slept with a puerto rican women


\*fized

Bluesectomy said...

"does this dress make me look fat"



blue: It's not the dresses fault

El Padrino said...

"I giant bag of ground up, steamy shit."

whoa

Aitch said...

"My name is Antonio, like Banderas but better looking."

EP, try this line an report back

El Padrino said...

me and tp couldnt hook up

maybe next time packer, come without the liabilities next time

Aitch said...

Welcome back, Beth. We missed ya.

El Padrino said...

fat question is a no and then silence

i say no, then leave the room

El Padrino said...

whoever watches golf is a moron

wadr

El Padrino said...

grounding club, the fuck does that even mean?

El Padrino said...

GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

El Padrino said...

"In terms of LoV bet's* the Reds are 8.5 games in front of the Mess"

mets are awful, i have to start looking up how dry ice works

El Padrino said...

keef you mind checking the AZ state shipping laws?

can i ship food there?

i would think yes but what do i know, the post office loses 2 billion dollars every year, they are ratards.

El Padrino said...

kyle kendrick

give me a fucking break

jugdish said...

what are you sending?

El Padrino said...

cmk have any cravings keef?, you running to Circle K at like 10pm for some beef jerky

Beth said...

"fat question is a no and then silence

i say no, then leave the room"

Good strategy. I have a married friend who says when she asks her husband something like that he tells her, "You know I don't answer questions like that cause there's no good answer in your mind" (or something similar).

El Padrino said...

Kielbasa

Bluesectomy said...

fucking barmes can't catch a simple pop-up and blows ubaldo's 18th win...fucking loser

Aitch said...

""You know I don't answer questions like that cause there's no good answer in your mind" (or something similar)."

That's a worse answer than the wrong one.

El Padrino said...

"Good strategy."


i'm a crafty veteran

El Padrino said...

"fucking barmes can't catch a simple pop-up and blows ubaldo's 18th win...fucking loser"

they won blue

Beth said...

So did I miss anything interesting on LOV while I was gone? I'm guessing blue got snipped last week.

El Padrino said...

meiz

do it

El Padrino said...

"So did I miss anything interesting on LOV while I was gone? I'm guessing blue got snipped last week."

No.

::leaves room::

Bluesectomy said...

"they won blue"

i've given up on them...now i'm just rooting for Ubaldo to get to 25 wins, which won't happen if barmes keeps being a dickweed.

Bluesectomy said...

"I'm guessing blue got snipped last week."

nope, just lost a bet

if I needed to do that, i would do it the week of march madness

El Padrino said...

"now i'm just rooting for Ubaldo to get to 25 wins"

oh i'm hoping david wright doesnt strike out 200 times

El Padrino said...

"i would do it the week of march madness"

smat

Aitch said...

"smat"

This is why he's rich

Beth said...

"nope, just lost a bet"

It would have been funnier if you actually got snipped because you lost a bet. Well funnier to everyone but you.

El Padrino said...

dont do it blue

Beth said...

I think if Blue had lost a bet like that he might have had to pull an H.

jugdish said...

I think if Blue had lost a bet like that he might have had to pull an H.



im still waiting to see what happens with Lp's bet of Obama gets re-elected. Of course if steve never comes back it could be a mute* point

jugdish said...

did steve like niagra falls beth?



s

Bluesectomy said...

"dont do it blue"

i don't need to, we fixed that the old fashioned way.


there is a guy in the hood though trying to talk other dudes into getting it done the same time as him (during march madness).

I guess misery loves company

El Padrino said...

"i don't need to, we fixed that the old fashioned way."

tubes tied?

Beth said...

"i don't need to, we fixed that the old fashioned way."

"tubes tied?"


A hammer and a bottle of tequila?

Bluesectomy said...

"tubes tied?"

yup, she had a c-section so they just took care of it whilst they were in there.

Bluesectomy said...

alhtough now she thinks she's pregnant again.


I told her I was leaving her if that was true, because she'd obviously had to have cheated on me

it was a very confusing argument

Bluesectomy said...

tebow didn't look great or awful last night

mrs quinn looked horrific...wouldn't be surprised if Tebow went into the season as the #2 QB now.

El Padrino said...

"yup, she had a c-section so they just took care of it whilst they were in there."

^this, is what cmep is doing but i'm trying to convince her not to so we have another crack at a third if all goes well with #2 and my yob

El Padrino said...

"It's August, and the Giants again have the best defensive front in football."

fucking skunkpatch

El Padrino said...

was watching a behind the music on lil weezy and it was fantastic

El Padrino said...

i cooked my balls off this weekend

El Padrino said...

something about the low 70's weather, just feeling it

El Padrino said...

so ready for fall

El Padrino said...

oktoberfest is out btw

El Padrino said...

zeke

El Padrino said...

pandora is annoying

it sucks i conclude

Beth said...

"i cooked my balls off this weekend"

Well there goes any chance for a 3rd kid.

s

Bluesectomy said...

i'm glad we did it. I ♥ my two girls, but....I know i'd get the inkling that maybe the next one could be a boy...and then i'd have 3 girls.

El Padrino said...

"We live in a Coors Light generation, and it's so sad.''

face kod

El Padrino said...

"i'm glad we did it. I ♥ my two girls, but....I know i'd get the inkling that maybe the next one could be a boy...and then i'd have 3 girls."

my predicament exactly

El Padrino said...

saw the Stafon kid injury live, man what a brutal 18 months for that kid

El Padrino said...

chipper said he was gonna play in 2011

El Padrino said...

also peeped game on the stillirs* and i'd be SAS if Dixon doesnt start the season as QB until rapelisberger is finished with his punishment

leftwhich is awful

Bluesectomy said...

Dixon was gonna win the heisbow until he blew out his knee.

kid is legit

El Padrino said...

where'd you stay beth?

Beth said...

"where'd you stay beth?"

San Juan Marriott Resort & Stellaris Casino. (My friend knows someone who knows someone who works for Marriott and was able to get us a great deal.) Nice hotel, right on the beach and in the middle of a touristy but fun area.

El Padrino said...

nice, tit's* on the list of places i want to go

El Padrino said...

meiz you peep game on that Beatles tribute band called Rain?

tem said...

tebow looked like i thought he would

Spaceman Spiff said...

got perfect drunk at the reception, love when that happens

tem said...

cgtif got drunk at a wedding we went to on saturday. 1st time i have seen her drunk.

El Padrino said...

got a bachelor party this weekend

tem said...

Tebow will be the #2 QB. Quinn looked horrible. Because he is.

El Padrino said...

if anyone needs a mattress on the northern east coast let me know, i'm your guy

tem said...

there is some chick on the maury povich show or something that has trotted out 40+ guys for paternity tests for her kid and still hasn't found the dad.

tem said...

i don't need a mattress, but I need a condo in NYC. too bad you can't help.

tem said...

hungry

jugdish said...

if anyone needs a mattress on the northern east coast let me know, i'm your guy


::water bed::

Spaceman Spiff said...

kelly brrok playboy

looks phenomenal but looks like she lost weight thus breast mass

Beth said...

"cgtif got drunk at a wedding we went to on saturday. 1st time i have seen her drunk."

Well? What kind of drunk is she? For your sake I'm hoping she's a horny drunk and not a bitchy or depressed drunk.

El Padrino said...

::water bed::

got a part time yob selling mattresses

El Padrino said...

"i don't need a mattress, but I need a condo in NYC. too bad you can't help."

you coming here?

jugdish said...

got a part time yob selling mattresses


cool...how does that work?

Keef said...

"Weekend post had 347 comment, Keithford."

Of which, maybe 100 were made on the weekend. But thanks for trying

Keef said...

"mets are awful, i have to start looking up how dry ice works"


good xnij try

Bluesectomy said...

"looks phenomenal but looks like she lost weight thus breast mass"


airbrushed

Keef said...

"So did I miss anything interesting on LOV while I was gone? I'm guessing blue got snipped last week"


LP got a yob selling mattresses to prep him to sell houses

El Padrino said...

"cool...how does that work?"

market and promote the product with a site that's linked to me, if someone buys from that site i get commission

Bluesectomy said...

so people buy mattresses online?

El Padrino said...

grounding club, the fuck does that even mean?

please advise

ns

El Padrino said...

"so people buy mattresses online?"

yes, which saves them hundreds since the online store doesnt have a brick and mortar operation

Keef said...

"keef you mind checking the AZ state shipping laws?

can i ship food there?

i would think yes but what do i know, the post office loses 2 billion dollars every year, they are ratards."


here

El Padrino said...

site

El Padrino said...

so fed ex, got it

franks* keef

Keef said...

"grounding club, the fuck does that even mean?"


You can't have your club touch the ground before you hit your shot when you're in a bunker.

Keef said...

The USGA rules say your are not allowed to test the surface by grounding your club. Since the sand is so unstable it could cause the lie of the ball to change and thus giving yourself an advantage

Keef said...

your are not. suite

Keef said...

I cnp that info about grounding the club. Thus the word thus

Spaceman Spiff said...

meiz,

"A billionaire who last week launched a dare for people to stand naked in front of US President Barack Obama has just raised the stakes for the prank to $1 million from a previous $100,000.

Billionaire Alki David, who comes in at number 45 of the Sunday Times' rich list in the UK, promised the money to whoever manages to get naked in front of President Barack Obama with "Battlecam" written on their chest while shouting "Battlecam."

The prank should be filmed and uploaded to Battlecam"

El Padrino said...

"You can't have your club touch the ground before you hit your shot when you're in a bunker."

but people were standing in this "bunker" all day?

tem said...

"Well? What kind of drunk is she? For your sake I'm hoping she's a horny drunk and not a bitchy or depressed drunk."

i would say not bitchy and not depressed.

tem said...

"you coming here?"

no, was just busting your ballz on the real estate stuff

tem said...

"but people were standing in this "bunker" all day?"

yes. but the rules in the clubhouse that nobody reads told the players that the places where people stand are sometimes bunkers and you'll hav to follow bunker rules in them, even though they may not look like bunkers

tem said...

rules be tough you

El Padrino said...

gay

Keef said...

"but people were standing in this "bunker" all day?"


Yeah. That's what you get for having a big tournament in Wisconsin

tem said...

meiz was probably in the bunker at one point in time

Keef said...

"meiz was probably in the bunker at one point in time"


I was going to, but I didn't.

/mize

El Padrino said...

ha

Keef said...

Saw The Other Guys this weekend. I thought it was just ok

Mize said...

stupid golf has me sore as hell.

Bluesectomy said...

Next time use lube before sticking the club up your ass

Mize said...

"can i ship food there?

i would think yes but what do i know, the post office loses 2 billion dollars every year, they are ratards."


I hope you realize how much this is going to cost you.

Keef said...

71/93

Mize said...

I was definitely walking through and standing in bunkers.

El Padrino said...

"I hope you realize how much this is going to cost you."

i think we capped it

Mize said...

The meat's gonna spoil if you don't send it fast.

El Padrino said...

no it's not it's smoked

Mize said...

"cgtif got drunk at a wedding we went to on saturday. 1st time i have seen her drunk."


Not a good sign. Too long. She's hiding something.

Mize said...

"no it's not it's smoked"


Oooookay.


Related: I KNEW that was going to be your response.

El Padrino said...

meiz they hang outside over the counter for weeks, if they dont spoil hanging from a pole in the deli why wouls they spoil sitting in some dry ice for 3 days max?

El Padrino said...

we are not talking about a tastycake here

tem said...

79/93

El Padrino said...

either way we capped it, dont remember what ($25?) but shipping = $10 or so that leaves plenty for product

tem said...

"Not a good sign. Too long. She's hiding something."

maybe.

maybe not.

tem said...

not the first time i have seen her drink. just the first time i have seen her really drunk.

i've actually seen her drunk before, just not "can't drive" drunk.

Keef said...

"i think we capped it"

The cap was on the amount spent for the product itself.

MESS/Reds # of wins
$20 in beer for LP
$20 in fresh kielbasa for keith

El Padrino said...

lets go mess!

Bluesectomy said...

81/93

jugdish said...

"so people buy mattresses online?"



T-mattresses

jugdish said...

do you have to pay for that site Lp, like a monthly charge?

El Padrino said...

no but i have to claim taxes on the commissions

Keef said...

hilarity

tem said...

you can offset expenses against the commissions.

tem said...

like costs for learning about the mattress industry and setting up the website.

tem said...

but not costs for buying the book "How selling mattresses can lead to a lucrative real estate career"

tem said...

you can deduct the cost of that when you sell your first house.

tem said...

doogie howsers boyfriend looks like val kilmer

tem said...

but with a big nose

jugdish said...

selling mattresses for dummies

El Padrino said...

i have no costs

jugdish said...

How'd you get involved in that?

jugdish said...

can i get a free frame?

Beth said...

Do you sell bedskirts also?

/tem

El Padrino said...

"How'd you get involved in that?"

lookt* up part time yobs on craiglist, was perusing bartender gigs and found it

El Padrino said...

why does Tony Dungy have to act like a pussy all the time

jugdish said...

Do you sell bedskirts also?

/tem



hilarity

Keef said...

craigslist killer kilt* hisself*

tem said...

he is thorough

tem said...

jug...i'll call you or something when i land in chicago. i think we are landing within 15 minutes of one another...i think i land 2nd.

tem said...

then we can meet up somewhere in the aerodome.

Keef said...

you guys are going to meet?

tem said...

why do indian (dot not feather) guys always wear polos and khakis when they work out?

and really high white socks....

tem said...

"you guys are going to meet?"

in chicago

tem said...

i'm surprised you didn't know.

the intrawebs have had all sorts of buzz about it.

tem said...

i think mort reported it though, so you probably ignored it thinking it was false.

Bluesectomy said...

hot receptionist just sent blue a reply that said:

"it's not hard, it will only take me a few minutes"



too many jokes

jugdish said...

jug...i'll call you or something when i land in chicago. i think we are landing within 15 minutes of one another...i think i land 2nd.


sounds good

Keef said...

"in chicago"


suite

Keef said...

"why do indian (dot not feather) guys always wear polos and khakis when they work out?

and really high white socks...."


I dunno. Why?

Keef said...

There's a dude on my shitty softball team who wears jeans during the games. Every game

tem said...

is he indian?

tem said...

"I dunno. Why?"

not a joke, it was a question.

Keef said...

No, he's got a perm

ns

Mize said...

Tem & Jug are going to Chicago?

jugdish said...

tp too

jugdish said...

tp got stood up in nyc from what he said

Bluesectomy said...

i wish H was going to Chicago, it would complete the bald trifecta

Bluesectomy said...

the holy trinity of baldness

jugdish said...

im not bald

Keef said...

Sounds like Chicago is gonna be awoesome

jugdish said...

we can get mize to shave his head

jugdish said...

give him the tebow monk cut

Keef said...

We're supposed to have hail &; 60 mph winds later this afternoon. Suite

Keef said...

"we can get mize to shave his head"


I was going to do that but I decided not to

/mize

El Padrino said...

ha

Keef said...

I'm going to golf at Pebble Beach this afternoon

ns

Keef said...

Vampires Suck looks like a grate movie. ETEO

tem said...

i'd shoot a 75 there

/meiz

Keef said...

SHOOT IS A NOUN!!

/mize

El Padrino said...

thought pebble beach was in cali for some reason

El Padrino said...

prob cuz idgaf where it is

El Padrino said...

i know augusta is in georgia though

El Padrino said...

sawgrass in fl

El Padrino said...

st andrews in scotland

El Padrino said...

and that's about it

tem said...

where are the best matresses made?

El Padrino said...

Northeast

tem said...

i heard the midwest. by amish people.

El Padrino said...

fuck this

El Padrino said...

amish are farmers

El Padrino said...

and they make butter

El Padrino said...

cant make a mattress without electricity

duh

El Padrino said...

s

El Padrino said...

piece

Bluesectomy said...

keith is playing pebble beach on the wii

tem said...

"cant make a mattress without electricity"

i'm sure you can.

also amish are incredible craftsmen

Bluesectomy said...

the amish make lamps without electricity

Mize said...

"we can get mize to shave his head"


I was already planning on cutting my hair this week

Bluesectomy said...

jug is bald

Bluesectomy said...

push

Bluesectomy said...

newer

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