Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Bowling for Funions

OK let’s just get to it. The Tuesday post…

Random driving to work weird thought….ever look at the chick in the car next to you and then look at the chick in the car on the other side of you and then think, “wow, this wouldn’t be a bad threesome.”?

Also, how come I never see semi trucks with a big “Student Driver” sticker on them? I think it would be funny if some dude put one on his truck. I figure they go to some school and they drive around their school area. Just must not be any schools around here.

Did anyone ever answer my question as to why Indian (dot not feather) people wear polo shirts, khakis and long socks when they work out?


Whatever happened to ________ as hot chicks.

Alicia Silverstone and Reese Witherspoon

Alicia never really had a huge run of movies she carried, so maybe she never really reached the peak of Hollywood hot chick, but Reese definitely did. Then she got married had kids and divorced and BAM, gone.

I think that must be a problem for Hollywood women. Having kids cramps their style. Even Angelina slowed down and stopped showing boob when her kids were procured.

In any case, both of these chicks would have had a shot at the tem Mount Rushmore of hot chicks, but I think they’ll both fall short. Neither really had a long enough career of hot movies. Plus I don’t think either showed their boobs in a movie.

So, if Alicia or Reese are reading….show us your boobs and maybe you’ll make Mount Rushmore, there is still time….


Fantasy sports talk: ________

Jordan Shipley

He is going to be a good sleeper pick this year. Really late round. Great for a dynasty draft, or an auction draft. Pick him up for the minimum and watch him do OK this year. The Bengals see him as Wes Welker, but a Bengal. Which is good because the Bengal part is key.

Anyway, he’ll be in the slot a lot and run a ton of choice routes. OchoUno and OchoCinco will get lots of attention so Shipley will run amok. Amok I tell you.


Popular sports topics

Strasburg calls out Harper for waiting so long to sign? Umm, pot meet kettle. Yes pot, that kettle is black, just like you.

Eli got his head cut up. Maybe he’ll learn to buckle his helmet up properly. Drives me nuts when players don’t buckle those things up right. Helmets fly off of heads about once every other play. It should happen about once a game, tops. If you put it on right, it will stay on.


It is interesting ________

How different people react to death.


One of the people who used to manage the construction of one of our condo complexes died last night. His ex-wife called it in to tell us. Our receptionist is a mess even though she only met the guy like 5 times. And she hadn’t talked to him in like 2 years. Other people are in the “oh my, that’s terrible camp.” Some people are in the “how sad” camp. One person is in the “who the fuck was he?” camp. But she is in the bawling hysterically and probably can’t do her job today camp.

I actually knew the guy because I live in the condo complex he built. He was a cool dude. Wrecked his motorcycle awhile back (couple months) and broke a rib and punctured a lung. I figure the death was complications from that. It is terrible because he was a nice guy. RIP Mr. Condo builder.

377 comments:

1 – 200 of 377   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

For the record, I'm a fan of the new tem posting format.

El Padrino said...

Reese gets pizaid

El Padrino said...

i really hate lotus notes

Beth said...

Yeah, but what's your opinion on the lotus position?

s

El Padrino said...

beth do you think they should build a mosque 2 blockes away from where 3000 people were murdered in the name of Mohammed the profit*?

El Padrino said...

blockes

sick hdh

tem said...

"beth do you think they should build a mosque 2 blockes away from where 3000 people were murdered in the name of Mohammed the profit*?"

why not? all muslims aren't bad.

tem said...

that's like saying there can't be anything German near a jew.

tem said...

or they can't have anything white where black people used to be slaves.

Beth said...

"beth do you think they should build a mosque 2 blockes away from where 3000 people were murdered in the name of Mohammed the profit*?"

I think we need to round up all Muslims and put them in internment camps. Clearly they are all terrorists.

s

tem said...

how dare they build a fucking bowling alley near that farm...didn't you know that black people used to be slaves on that farm...

Beth said...

While we are at it, can we ban all Baptists from going near black people? I mean a lot of the deep south KKK are Baptists so it's only fair.

Bluesectomy said...

alicia silverstone went crazy and became a vegan or something

and got all political, so nobody would hire her.

Also, they realized that she could essentially only play chicks like the one in clueless

Bluesectomy said...

reese shows boobage in a movie, early in her career, don't remember which movie.

and actually all her big movies were after she had kids

Bluesectomy said...

reese fell off the radar because she got divorced so she doesn't have a husband to stay home with the kids

tem said...

"reese shows boobage in a movie, early in her career, don't remember which movie."

ys, b?

get spiff on the case.

jugdish said...

I mean a lot of the deep south KKK are Baptists so it's only fair.



they're not just in the south

/mize

tem said...

"Also, they realized that she could essentially only play chicks like the one in clueless"

limited acting ability does not prevent you from getting on tem's mount rushmore.

El Padrino said...

gollum is scraping sugar off his jelly donut

El Padrino said...

i wanna fight this man

El Padrino said...

you people dont take these things serious enough

Bluesectomy said...

"ys, b?"

serious

tem said...

"you people dont take these things serious enough"

or perhaps you take it too seriously

El Padrino said...

i've seen her tits, nothing to write home about

El Padrino said...

"or perhaps you take it too seriously"

yeah i tend to take terrorism serious sometimes

sorry dont know what got into me

s

jugdish said...

"or perhaps you take it too seriously"

yeah i tend to take terrorism serious sometimes


i thought he meant the jelly donut

tem said...

why would you ever write home about seeing tits?


dear mom and dad,

today i saw some tits. they were glorious. pert and perky, a rare combo. i tried to take a picture, but my ninja skills aren't up to par. anyway, i just thought you should know. also i was making angel food cake and the recipe called for salt but never told me when to use the salt. when should i use the salt?

tem said...

got it, all muslims are terorrists.

all italians are in the mob.

all white people are bad at sports.

El Padrino said...

"got it, all muslims are terorrists."

the debate to build a mosque has nothing to do with muslims/religion and everything to do what 9/11

so i guess Tem agrees with Hamas, a known terrorist organization

El Padrino said...

*with 9/11

Bluesectomy said...

"i thought he meant the jelly donut"

me too

El Padrino said...

plus its a national security risk

Bluesectomy said...

how is it a national security risk?

tem said...

got it all muslims were responsible for 9/11

Bluesectomy said...

they're not building a mosque on the lawn of the pentagon or the white house

it's in the middle of a bunch of shitty office buildings.

and actually right now it's next to a big hole

Bluesectomy said...

"got it all muslims were responsible for 9/11"

thanks obama

tem said...

"i thought he meant the jelly donut"

me too


^^^


but i'm going to run with the terrorist stuff anyway.

Beth said...

"you people dont take these things serious enough"

By "these things" I'm guessing you mean blind stereotyping.

Beth said...

EP, you do realize even if there's no mosque there that muslims might still be able to get near the same location, right?

tem said...

"If built, the 13-story community center and mosque project will be one of hundreds of buildings located within blocks of Ground Zero — a densely populated area that already includes a couple of mosques, along with less "hallowed" institutions, like strip clubs, bars and Off Track Betting operations."


better tear down those existing mosques....

Beth said...

Or are you proposing banning all Muslims from coming within a certain distance of Ground Zero, mosque or no mosque?

jugdish said...

i don't have them a problem with them NOT building a mosque down there.

muslims would be up in arms if some American company built a bacon factory next to one of their mosques...why can't americans not like this?

Beth said...

"This is not a War against Islam."- President George Bush.

Bluesectomy said...

i'm not saying you can't hate the idea..

but just expect to feel dumb about it

tem said...

factory next to a mosque (or any church) would probably violate the zoning codes of any municipality. those codes being made presumably by non-muslims.

jugdish said...

but just expect to feel dumb about it



i don't.

jugdish said...

factory next to a mosque (or any church) would probably violate the zoning codes of any municipality. those codes being made presumably by non-muslims.


::you get the point::

tem said...

for the record i'd also give the muslim who was mad at the bacon factory shit for being mad.

Beth said...

A comment similar to "I guess I'm the only true American here" or "You don't understand since you're not in NY" coming from EP in 3..2..1...

tem said...

actually i think he is trying to explain how it is a national security risk.

tem said...

which might be " you don't understand b/c you're not in my"

jugdish said...

it the majority of caput mundians don't like it, they shouldn't do it.

El Padrino said...

"EP, you do realize even if there's no mosque there that muslims might still be able to get near the same location, right?"

yes, do you relize muslims like to build mosques on site of conquest or victory

like i said my problem isnt the mosque, it's the location

tem said...

too bad its on private property.

jugdish said...

too bad its on private property.



the government can do whatever they want


/Obama

jugdish said...

plus it will give me somewhere to hangout when im in caput mundi

/Obama


/Zeke

tem said...

they can't make a white guy who can jump.

Beth said...

"yes, do you relize muslims like to build mosques on site of conquest or victory"

I'm sure they like to build them in other places too.

jugdish said...

they can't make a white guy who can jump.



maybe not one that jumps high

Beth said...

It's just quite ironic that 9/11 was an attack on the American way of life, and a big part of that way of life is freedom of religion, yet people want to restrict that freedom here.

See, if you don't allow the mosque then the terrorists have won!

s

El Padrino said...

it's a national security risk because i feel like militants use these mosques to conduct or scheme illegal activities and i feel that al qaeda will infiltrate operatives in this mosque

most mosques are a front for extremists, there are already hundreds of mosques all over nyc

tem said...

"most mosques are a front for extremists"


ha, sure.

tem said...

"most mosques are a front for extremists, there are already hundreds of mosques all over nyc"


if most mosques are fronts for extremists why aren't you trying to get the hundreds of mosques torn down? are you on the terrorists side?

El Padrino said...

wow tem

open your eyes

not all muslims are peaceful, just like not all catholics are straight

just so happens the ones that aint peaceful like to kill Westerners

Bluesectomy said...

so if they move the mosque down the street it's less of a national security risk?

jugdish said...

"most mosques are a front for extremists"


im not buying that, although I'm sure there are some out there that the govt does keep an eye on

tem said...

you're the one letting all these mosques stay open for extremist activities. Most of those mosques are used for extremist activities.

you don't see a lot of mosques in ohio or wava. we don't tolerate that shit out here.

have your mob friends clean out the extremists. clean up your city.

tem said...

el pad is catholic right?

gay ball.

Beth said...

"most mosques are a front for extremists"

Wow, just wow.

Beth said...

I think it's clear that if EP was alive during WWII he'd have been heavily pushing the internment camps.

El Padrino said...

what's done is done, they picked that site for obvious reasons

if you dont think a certain # of muslims are not chomping at the bit to worship their prophet a few blocks away from where there brothers killed innocent people than i dont know what to say

i believe that, when in rome

it bothers me, i'm not the only one it bothers

would you like a japanese shrine built close to pearl harbor? should a nazi sign be posted anywhere near the death camps

its inappropiate to build a new mulsim community center there where there already have hundreds of mosques across the city and across the country, no issue if it was being built near central park or further north of the site

El Padrino said...

"most mosques are a front for extremists"

Wow, just wow.

most is strong, some
but bet your ass this new one will be one of the somes

El Padrino said...

seems like the site was chosen to rub our nose in it

tem said...

maybe you should let them build it. then you will know where the extremists are.

keep your friends close and your enemies closer...

then you and your mob friends can take them all out.

El Padrino said...

it's a sensitivity issue, bottom line

should not be built THERE, like 2/3 of the community feel like it's a slap in the face, they are angry and they view it as a victory symbol for islam

if you had any anger in you still simmering from that day maybe you'd understand my position

jugdish said...

you should get your own food cart and go down there and sell bacon sandwiches outside their mosque.

El Padrino said...

good idea

jugdish said...

then the ACLU will come down and say how offensive that is.

El Padrino said...

IT'S A LOSE LOSE SITUATION

tem said...

"you should get your own food cart and go down there and sell bacon sandwiches outside their mosque."

they probably wouldn't buy many.

and he'd have to pay taxes on any money he made.

jugdish said...

they probably wouldn't buy many.

and he'd have to pay taxes on any money he made.



the people from the surrounding office buildings would...out of principle

jugdish said...

spiff and tp would also on their trips to nyc

jugdish said...

you could also sell mattresses to the ladies of the night in that neighborhood

jugdish said...

or rent them

Bluesectomy said...

"would you like a japanese shrine built close to pearl harbor?"

nope, but if they wanted to build a buddhist temple, I wouldn't care

El Padrino said...

nope

apology accepted

Bluesectomy said...

different story dude..like I said, if the buddhist people in Hawaii wanted to build a buddhist temple, I wouldn't give a shit.

Even though all buddhist are kamikaze samurais

El Padrino said...

blue, Melo a Knick soon?

tem said...

yeah, but they have to be since all catholics are gay and all muslims are terrorists

Beth said...

Aren't all Knicks terrorists too? I mean they've certainly done their share of damage to NY.

jugdish said...

i hate speaker phone.

Mize said...

"nope, but if they wanted to build a buddhist temple, I wouldn't care"\



Blue knows.


Muslim isn't a nationality.

Mize said...

Heads up. Ames, IA is flooded, so if you're shipping stuff there it'll be delayed. Thanks and regards.

jugdish said...

Heads up. Ames, IA is flooded, so if you're shipping stuff there it'll be delayed. Thanks and regards.



damn, weezy's beer i sent might be delayed.

/aitch

El Padrino said...

"Muslim isn't a nationality."

::you get the point::

El Padrino said...

bryce harper gots paid

kod said...

"This is not a War against Islam."- President George Bush.


^^^^^^^^^^^


plus, say what you will about W, but at least he understood that freedom of religion was one of the main bedrocks of our founding. I'm sure the same people who complain about the Mosque would have no problem with a church being built there....well guess what? Government cannot favor one religion over any other; it's as ingrained in our society as freedom of speech, press, assembly, etc.
-Even 5 years ago, if someone had told me that people would be seriously challenging the 1st and 14th amendment I wouldn't have believed it; I am truly shocked and surprised over these two debates.

kod said...

"the debate to build a mosque has nothing to do with muslims/religion and everything to do what 9/11"



so when that religious fanatic bombed the abortion clinic in Kansas last year, you blamed all Christians right?

Beth said...

Leave it to the lawyer to summarize things up nicely and logically.



God I'm so turned on right now...

s

El Padrino said...

I'M NOT BLAMING ALL MULSIMS FOR 9/11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why is that everyones first comment?

i'm not calling any of you dumb but cmon, you cant think that's what i really think

i would expect that argument from a high school kid, we are adults

i oppose the location not the right to worship

kod said...

"i oppose the location not the right to worship"


if you hate the 1st amendment so much, why don't you just go back to Italy? (ns)

El Padrino said...

i cant talk to you about this

you sound fucking crazy with that ridiculous question

kod said...

you sound fucking crazy trying to alter the bill of rights; unless you want government getting into the business of religion (and you don't) then stand the fuck down

kod said...

but....as far as the sensitivity thing goes, I'm not agreeing with the decision; just that it's very dangerous to expect the government to decide who gets to build their places of worship where

kod said...

Jug....I know I shouldn't jinx the Twins right now, but are you interested in a standard name/pic bet on the Twins/WSox series starting tonight?

El Padrino said...

"but....as far as the sensitivity thing goes, I'm not agreeing with the decision;"

oh, so apology accepted

i never said i was expecting government to intervene nor do i expect them to

law always trumps feelings

El Padrino said...

"stand the fuck down"


ok michael douglas in falling down, next time i have an opinion i wont express it

kod said...

"ok michael douglas in falling down, next time i have an opinion i wont express it"



LOVE Falling Down....I need to rent again, haven't seen in years

El Padrino said...

lou gehrig did not have lou gehrig disease

Bluesectomy said...

"blue, Melo a Knick soon?"

not until next year.

I was thinking about that this morning, he's basically ruined all trade value. The knicks don't have shit that the Nuggets would want in a trade, so that's not gonna happen unless they get a 3rd team involved.

Nobody is going to trade for Melo knowing he wants to go play for the knicks, unless he signs the extension beforehand so they know they have him for 3 years, but why would he do that if he wants to play in NY

Bluesectomy said...

Basically he hasn't backed himself into a corner, but the only way he's getting to NYC is to playout this year and become a FA, and then hope that the new CBA doesn't cost him an exorbitant amount of money

Bluesectomy said...

he should have signed a shorter deal like Lebron and Dwade and Bosh so he could have been a FA this year and not had to deal with the CBA issue

El Padrino said...

so Gallo, Randolph, Curry's exp contract and Chandler wouldnt get it done?

El Padrino said...

he shouldnt have gotten married

El Padrino said...

/meiz

Mize said...

"Chris Douglas-Roberts confirmed you as a friend on Facebook..."


This should be interesting.

Mize said...

"so Gallo, Randolph, Curry's exp contract and Chandler wouldnt get it done?"


Plus the 2014 1st rounder

Bluesectomy said...

I don't think so, why would the nuggets want them?

expiring contracts don't do them anything because everybody on their team has an expiring contract next season practically.

Randolph contract is way too big.

Bluesectomy said...

I almost expect them to tear it down and build back up again...basically let everyone's contracts expire like they did in 2002, be a lottery team, and then hit the FA market and start building from the ground up.

El Padrino said...

"Plus the 2014 1st rounder"

right, not a bad deal

they are young and under contract

Bluesectomy said...

problem is that there's not one guy they can sell tickets with

So, like I said, they'd be better off blowing it up (k-mart's deal comes off the books, JR is a FA, don't exercise Chauncey's option, Nene would have one year left, Melo would be gone) So they're whole core could be gone and they could start over.

Bluesectomy said...

There's a huge transition going on in the front office, fired Warkentein and Chapman, Stan Kroenke giving the team to his son, so he can own the Rams.

So Josh Kroenke is going to want to do something his way, re-build, so flexibility I think is the key for them.

Keef said...

"you cant think that's what i really think"


I can

ns

Keef said...

"then stand the fuck down"


Scrappy Doo is all riled up

Bluesectomy said...

And my honest opinion for 'Melo, he's dumb to leave, but I get it.

I think he'll regret it. He won't win a championship in NY, but he'll make a lot of money and be popular

El Padrino said...

"I can

ns"

well, your* an as. so that makes sense

El Padrino said...

"He won't win a championship in NY"

wont win one in denver either mine* as well be popular and where you want to live

Mize said...

El Tardo's 'Melo to NY trade

Bluesectomy said...

"wont win one in denver either mine* as well be popular and where you want to live"

like i said, I get it from the want to live in NYC side.

but, if you truly want cult status you stay in Denver, and even if he doesn't win a championship he'll always he a superhero here...won't be that way in NY, he'll always be asked, "why don't you play defense, why do you suck, why don't you win a championship"

Bluesectomy said...

he could be the john starks of Denver

kod said...

"Scrappy Doo is all riled up"



funny (ns); I am getting pretty surly these days with some of these stupid election-time wedge issues and certain Supreme Court/Court of Appeals decisions

El Padrino said...

i obviously want him here, especially since i was a fan of his from cuse and the title run and all

Keef said...

Eli just woke up

jugdish said...

Jug....I know I shouldn't jinx the Twins right now, but are you interested in a standard name/pic bet on the Twins/WSox series starting tonight?


sure...although im not feeling so good about this series. im down for the standard bet.

Keef said...

41/60

Keef said...

good xnij, jug

kod said...

"sure...although im not feeling so good about this series. im down for the standard bet."


sounds good

kod said...

ug, the summer of woe continues; I just found out my cousin was killed in a car accident this morning.

I'm going to look like a hot mess in Court today; oh well

jugdish said...

dude, sorry to hear that kod!

Beth said...

Damn, my condolences Kod.

Bluesectomy said...

41/60


fuck that question #42

El Padrino said...

sorry bout that kod

Keef said...

8/24

Keef said...

"I just found out my cousin was killed in a car accident this morning."

Fuck. Sorry to hear that, kod

Keef said...

"fuck that question #42"

^^^

jugdish said...

i ate way too much for lunch...

tem said...

41/60

Keef said...

"i ate way too much for lunch..."


Let's have a lunch meeting yesterday

jugdish said...

Let's have a lunch meeting yesterday



can we meet at Lp's bacon cart?

El Padrino said...

bacon cart is brilliant btw

Beth said...

But it's insensitive to Muslims EP, I think you need to reconsider.

s

tem said...

16/24

tem said...

el pad will just use his bacon cart to rape boys because he is catholic.

jugdish said...

But it's insensitive to Muslims EP, I think you need to reconsider.


::beth knows::

El Padrino said...

i'm not a priest

tem said...

oh yeah, you'll bomb an abortion clinic

jugdish said...

that was a mosque disguised as an abortion clinic

tem said...

oh, well in that case it more than likely had some extremist activity going on inside. most mosques do.

jugdish said...

a shit load of coat hangers was found in the rubble...but no coats


plastic coat hangers too...amateurs

jugdish said...

s

Keef said...

"can we meet at Lp's bacon cart?"

No. I'm opposed to it's location

Keef said...

its*

jugdish said...

No. I'm opposed to it's location


its mobile

Keef said...

"its mobile"

Oh, so he's going to run it into the new WTC then.

jugdish said...

No. I'm opposed to it's location


bacophobe!

Keef said...

"oh, well in that case it more than likely had some extremist activity going on inside. most mosques do."

you can't spell mass al qaeda operation suicides without mosques

(s)

Keef said...

That took longer than it should have taken for me to come up with something that had those letters in it

jugdish said...

"I love our fans. Cleveland fans are awesome," he told GQ. "But I mean, even my family gets spoiled at times watching me doing things that I do, on and off the court."




yeesh

El Padrino said...

fool

Keef said...

lebron should stop talking anytime now

Beth said...

"lebron should stop talking anytime now"

And give up his right to free speech and the 1st Amendment??? You need to stand the fuck down keith!

/kod

jugdish said...

hilarity

jugdish said...

lebron is actually kind of humble for a guy who at 16 years old his high school games were on national TV and everyone was calling him King James. He could be a lot worse.

Keef said...

Jorge Cantu has a smooth face.

Bluesectomy said...

i'm taking mental notes

Bluesectomy said...

lebron WAS actually kind of humble for a guy who at 16 years old his high school games were on national TV and everyone was calling him King James. He could be a lot worse.

Keef said...

"/kod"

awesome

El Padrino said...

"/kod"

awesome

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

El Padrino said...

The chuck they use at In-N-Out Burger is 60% lean, 40% fat.

tem said...

USA USA USA USA

Keef said...

"The chuck they use at In-N-Out Burger is 60% lean, 40% fat."


That's why it taste* so good

El Padrino said...

duh

Mize said...

Getting slaughtered today.

tem said...

probably by muslims

Keef said...

ha

jugdish said...

that mequon mosque is a peaceful place

Keef said...

And since I can't help you with taking a heavy dump I can help you get a nice sleep.


fucking awesome slogan

Keef said...

LP
Who's gonna buy a mattress online without knowing how comfortable it is

ns

jugdish said...

hookers

jugdish said...

maybe pimps

jugdish said...

mize too


s

tem said...

maybe he can do a mass sale to some mexicans in gilbert.

keef, talk to your coworkers

tem said...

"And since I can't help you with taking a heavy dump I can help you get a nice sleep."

that's a real slogan?

jugdish said...

they sleep on straw

El Padrino said...

"LP
Who's gonna buy a mattress online without knowing how comfortable it is

ns"

they go to the store, spec out the one they like, sit on it, then buy it online hundreds cheaper

El Padrino said...

most people buy the same one so they know which one it is anyway

tem said...

what kind of mattresses are you selling?

tem said...

are they selling for like $50 each?

Mize said...

""fuck that question #42"

^^^"

35/60

NFW you guys got #36

El Padrino said...

luxury european mattresses

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