Thursday, July 08, 2010

LeBron Suipestakes*

I'm not going to mention LeBron.

/Blue


I won't be watching the LeBron hour tonight since I have softball. Actually we will probably be rained out, but I still won't watch because I hate the Boys and Girls Club. Actually that's not true, I think the money going to them from the LeBron hour is cool...I just think that the whole LeBron announcement hour is a a bit much. I'll outline a couple of the possibilities here.


Chicago Bulls - The Jug Scenario

This was covered somewhat yesterday, but I'll rehash. LeBron is supposed to make is announcement within the first ten - 15* minutes of the show. Cleveland fans think that LeBron would never screw them over if he is making this big announcement during the LeBron hour on ESPN. They will be shocked to see the LeBron hour hosted by Art Modell...this can't be good. Art will do a little interview with LeBron, then bring out the special guest...Michael Jordan. Jordan will bring out a LeBron Bulls jersey along with John Paxson as the LeBron to the Bulls signing is announces to the world.

Cleveland fans will be stunned and unable to talk during the next few interviews with LeBron, and their sports world will be crushed as the last image they see will be Paxson, Modell, Jordan, and LeBron all smiling on stage while a video of the Jordan shot over Ehlo is played over and over in the background. "The inbounds pass comes into Jordan. Here's Michael at the foul line, a shot on Ehlo...GOOD! BULLS WIN IT!!!"


Caput Mundi Knicks - The Lp Scenario

The Knicks have been pathetically tanking their last three seasons for this moment. That is very impressive for such an important franchise to the NBA. Their fans must be proud! The good thing New York City has going for it, is everyone wants to live there (except for Bosh and Wade...also Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, Dirk, Jug, H, Keef, and a few others).

The LeBron hour opens up with LeBron on one side of the stage and the GMs competing for his services on the other. There is a single rose on a stand that LeBron will present to the GM of the team he will sign with. A 15 minute video starts outlining all of LeBron's dates with each GM and coach. There are some scenes with LeBron's mom, but those are censored for some reason.

After the commercial break sponsored by the MSG network, the rose ceremony begins and ends quickly with LeBron presenting his single rose to Donnie Walsh with D'Antoni and Stoudemire looking on with tears in his eyes. Somewhere in the woods...Lp celebrates!


That's it...I'm tired. Thursday is my Friday this week. I have a 4 day weekend and am heading to a beach house in Port Aransas, TX. The website said it was the Caput Mundi of the south...should be suite!

344 comments:

1 – 200 of 344   Newer›   Newest»
jugdish said...

LeBron leaning towards Heat. Really with the names that have signed...if he wants a chance at winning the Bulls and Heat are his only two choices at this point. Sadly, it seems like it'll be the Heat.

jugdish said...

I still think Art Modell should host it tonight though.

Beth said...

"They will be shocked to see the LeBron hour hosted by Art Modell...this can't be good."

"There is a single rose on a stand that LeBron will present to the GM of the team he will sign with."

"There are some scenes with LeBron's mom, but those are censored for some reason."

All 3 are hilarity.

Beth said...

Whitlock on Lebron.

jugdish said...

He's not going to appear on an hour-long TV special to take a dump on Cleveland by revealing he's the black Art Modell.


funny

jugdish said...

maybe the wolves can trade for CP3

Meiz said...

Fuck Miami.

BLUE said...

lebron is going to burst onto stage with rocky and announce that he's going to the nuggets

Beth said...

I think he's going to announce his retirement.

s

BLUE said...

he shouldn't sign in Miami, if we've learned anything from the dream team it's that a team full of superstars always loses to the scrappy overachieving foreigners

BLUE said...

jennifer aniston is on the front page of ESPN in some smart water ad.

I liked it.

BLUE said...

"The Dallas Mavericks are next in line at $17,582,574, followed by Cleveland ($15,410,550), Boston ($14,928,662), Orlando ($11,046,595), San Antonio ($8,810,302), Denver ($5,562,942), New York ($5,199,024), Phoenix ($4,958,790), Utah ($3,105,372) and Miami ($3,039,769)."


which one of these is not like the other one.

jugdish said...

i was going to write a miami scenario with a wwe degeneration X style theme, but i got tired last night.

however if he sign with miami i want to start an O:FM

jugdish said...

from sports guy twitter:

Announcing tomorrow if I renewed my Clips tix or not. ESPN 1pm: "Bill's Choice" hosted by Warner Wolf. All proceeds go to Shawn Kemp's kids.

BLUE said...

i think the miami talk was to throw people off the scent.

if everyone was convinced he was signing with NY, and then he announced that on his TV show, everyone would be like "yeah, I already knew that"

it's to keep the intrigue

BLUE said...

"Announcing tomorrow if I renewed my Clips tix or not. ESPN 1pm: "Bill's Choice" hosted by Warner Wolf. All proceeds go to Shawn Kemp's kids."


this is why I don't follow him on twitter, because his jokes are the gay

jugdish said...

damn msg stock

BLUE said...

told you to short it

Meiz said...

New kid is very aware that I dislike him.

BLUE said...

because you told him you dislike him?

BLUE said...

meiz: I don't like you, and knowing is knowledge.

Beth said...

Having a woman has given meiz confidence to tell the new guy to F off.

Can a brother get 4 mo? said...

"91 world series trophy on ebay, do it, 5 grand"


it's gotta be a fake right? I mean, how would you even get a hold of that....and if you did, how could you part with it for 5-6K? (I would have guessed the actual trophy to go for anywhere between 50K-250K)

Can a brother get 4 mo? said...

If I was sure it was real, and if I weren't burning through money on the fertility stuff, I'd buy it in a heartbeat (for $6500 or lower)

Can a brother get 4 mo? said...

I'd also send a picture of me with it to Beth every October



s

Meiz said...

"Having a woman has given meiz confidence to tell the new guy to F off."


I do not have a woman.

Beth said...

"I'd also send a picture of me with it to Beth every October"

That's ok, I take solace in the fact that y'all had to cheat to win.

Beth said...

"I do not have a woman."

Semi?

Can a brother get 4 mo? said...

"That's ok, I take solace in the fact that y'all had to cheat to win."


HRBEK
HRBEK
HRBEK

Can a brother get 4 mo? said...

I'd argue with you Beth, but Hrbek has pretty much admitted he pulled him off the bag

Beth said...

Which all Braves fans knew at the time.

But being totally honest, it was really Puckett's home run that killed us. Hrbek is just something we console ourselves with.

Meiz said...

"Semi?"

Nope. Shit doesn't work like that.

Beth said...

Dammit Meiz, I thought we told you to quit putting it on a pedestal!

s

tem said...

i am too confused about meiz and a chick talk.

is he banging some chick or not?

tem said...

so whitlock says paul and james in cleveland?

tem said...

"Pierce retires from NFL, joins ESPN"


paul pierce is too much of a cry baby to play in the NFL.

Meiz said...

"i am too confused about meiz and a chick talk.

is he banging some chick or not?"


Perfect.

Beth said...

"i am too confused about meiz and a chick talk."

I think it's looking more and more like he likes to talk like he is until he gets pressed and then admits he isn't.

tem said...

i'll lean towards hanging out but not banging.

Beth said...

So that would make her cgmihow.

Beth said...

Or to be more detailed, cgmihowbnb.

Meiz said...

You shouldn't really be this concerned. I'm just on a hot streak. That's all.

Meiz said...

Actually, that might be a perfect way to put it. I'm on a hot streak.

tem said...

i am not concerned per se.

i am just curious.

curious because i have nothing else to be curious about right now.

tem said...

a hot streak would mean banging multiple women.

Beth said...

"a hot streak would mean banging multiple women."

Not in Wisconsin apparently.

tem said...

apparently

Spaceman Spiff said...

"In May, after the Cavs were ousted in the conference semifinals, I wrote that LeBron was facing one of the greatest sports decisions ever: "winning (Chicago), loyalty (Cleveland) or a chance at immortality (New York)."

I never thought he would pick "HELP!""

nothing wrong with asking for HELP!

/H

Spaceman Spiff said...

from eltardo's lebron column

Meiz said...

"a hot streak would mean banging multiple women."

So, a hot streak. Got it.

Spaceman Spiff said...

hot streak? sounds like any other day to me

/H

Keef said...

"I think it's looking more and more like he likes to talk like he is until he gets pressed and then admits he isn't."


this

Keef said...

""a hot streak would mean banging multiple women."

So, a hot streak. Got it."



They must be raising up

Keef said...

Did you like my raising up joke, h?

Keef said...

LP's favorite headline

Beth said...

Keeffast.

Keef said...

goddman

BLUE said...

this lebron thing is getting out of control.

just tell everyone already

BLUE said...

when MJ came back from baseball he sent in a fax that had two words

"i'm back"

that's how this should be done

Lebron should fax something to the AP saying "NEW YORK"

BLUE said...

fuck this place

Keef said...

^

jugdish said...

Lebron should fax something to the AP saying "CAPUT MUNDI"



fixed

tem said...

so meiz is now banging multiple women?

tem said...

well i am lefthanded so meiz doesn't trust me, so i don't trust him.

Can a brother get 4 mo? said...

"fuck this place"


seems like we're having a lot fewer gems dropped in here this week; not sure what would explain that



s

Can a brother get 4 mo? said...

tem is lefthanded; that means

1) he is smarter than us, and


2) he will die a lot younger than us

Can a brother get 4 mo? said...

at least, that's what the stats say

BLUE said...

meiz is banging women again..when did this happen

BLUE said...

the stats say that meiz is banging women?

Keef said...

"meiz is banging women again..when did this happen"

splains where the money is going

tem said...

i play sports right handed and write left handed.

eat lefthanded too.

Can a brother get 4 mo? said...

The only thing I do lefty is smoke; and that's probably because of years of smoking while driving

tem said...

i would probably smoke left handed if i smoked.

Keef said...

I should of* taken Paul Goydos with GOLF PICKS

jugdish said...

so meiz is now banging multiple women?



if by banging, you mean slapping when they rise up...then yes.

BLUE said...

i guess that sundress thing paid off for him

congrats mize, tolt you that a slumpbuster was a good thing

Keef said...

"if by banging, you mean slapping when they rise up...then yes."


Use my jokes now, huh

jugdish said...

Use my jokes now, huh


takes too long to make up my own

BLUE said...

"Use my jokes now, huh"

aren't all jokes/stereotypes on LoV recycled?

Spaceman Spiff said...

blue

"Toronto Raptors sign Linas Kleiza to 4-year offer sheet"

jugdish said...

i missed it earlier too...my ketchup skills need work

Can a brother get 4 mo? said...

"If Lebron spurns them, then suddenly we're looking at the most disastrous decade in the history of New York sports -- first the Layden Era, then the Isiah Era, then Walsh spending two years gutting the team so he could spend $100 million on a guy with a bad knee and a bad eye who hasn't played defense in six years. Do you realize the Knicks will have given away top-10 lottery picks in 2004, '06, '07, '09, '10 and, potentially, '11 and '12 without making the playoffs or landing one superstar? How is that even possible?"


*grinning*

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Adrian Wojnarowski: Jermaine O'Neal has agreed to sign with the Boston Celtics"

O:FB

Keef said...

"aren't all jokes/stereotypes on LoV recycled?"

Your face is recycled

jugdish said...

*grinning*

^^^^^^

Keef said...

LeBron is picking a team today

jugdish said...

Bulls

jugdish said...

it makes cents* lebron

tem said...

cleveland

tem said...

if he picks miami he will be kilt by cleveland people

tem said...

i'd be OK with him picking the Bucks

Can a brother get 4 mo? said...

I think it's going to be Miami, and it's going to be a mistake

BLUE said...

""Toronto Raptors sign Linas Kleiza to 4-year offer sheet""

yeah, saw that. Kleiza is bullshit...nuggets probably won't match, would rather have Joey Graham anyway

tem said...

although actually since meiz is playing games and not being forthcoming with this cgmihow talk i think I am going to say fuck the Bucks and find a new team.

Beth said...

if he picks _________ he will be kilt by ________ people

You can pretty much fill in the blanks with all kinds of variations and it still be accurate.

Can a brother get 4 mo? said...

"You can pretty much fill in the blanks with all kinds of variations and it still be accurate."


troof

Keef said...

44/53

Keef said...

13/20

Keef said...

"You can pretty much fill in the blanks with all kinds of variations and it still be accurate."

The old me would of* filled in the blanks with 2 words that would not be accurate

BLUE said...

"although actually since meiz is playing games and not being forthcoming with this cgmihow talk i think I am going to say fuck the Bucks and find a new team"

come root for the nuggets. We'll have Bogut later this year anyway, so there will be somebody you recognize to root for

Keef said...

That sporcle should have been 44/52. Goddman preview

Can a brother get 4 mo? said...

"I am going to say fuck the Bucks and find a new team"

come root for the nuggets. We'll have Bogut later this year anyway, so there will be somebody you recognize to root for"


COME TO PENN STAAAATE

Keef said...

kod just shit himself

BLUE said...

"if he picks black he will be kilt by haitian people"

Beth said...

"The old me would of* filled in the blanks with 2 words that would not be accurate"

Wow, now you've moved to the top of my list!

s

BLUE said...

18/20

don't remember how well I did on the baseball one...pretty well with the newer ones and pretty shitty on the older ones

Meiz said...

I'm tired.

BLUE said...

"I'm tired"

it's from all the sex and thyroid and carbon monoxide poisoing, and mold

Meiz said...

"so meiz is now banging multiple women?"


Past tense

Meiz said...

Carbon monoxide?

BLUE said...

"Past tense"

"so meiz was now banging multiple woman?"



*fized

Beth said...

"Past tense"

And then you woke up?

Meiz said...

"I am going to say fuck the Bucks and find a new team"

Well fuck you.

Beth said...

"so meiz was now banging multiple woman?"

*fized

That made me laugh.

BLUE said...

"Carbon monoxide?"

yes, it's deadly and makes you sleepy

it's chemical formula is CO

Can a brother get 4 mo? said...

"so meiz is now banging multiple women?"


"Past tense"


So Meiz has now banged two women?

BLUE said...

it's the summer in wisconsin

BLUE said...

it's like spanish fly

BLUE said...

"So Meiz has now banged two women?"

that's an average day for beth

Keef said...

"Wow, now you've moved to the top of my list!"


No thanks. I'm allergic to shellfish


s

Keef said...

it would be grate if exfemmize was cheating on her current dude with mize

Meiz said...

"it would be grate if exfemmize was cheating on her current dude with mize"


You just blew my mind.




The only scenario in which I'd take her back is one that would involve A LOT of money.

Beth said...

"No thanks. I'm allergic to shellfish"

I can't tell if this is a reference to crabs or a play on the word "selfish" or maybe both.

Don't worry though, someone explained to me the other day that s stands for sarcasm.

Keef said...

selfish didn't even enter my mind

Meiz said...

I initially read it as selfish

Keef said...

wall

Meiz said...

I was distracted by ramen

BLUE said...

ramen is very distracting

Meiz said...

Its delicious

BLUE said...

what's the flavour du jour?

tem said...

"Past tense"

so the hot streak is over. got it.

Keef said...

ha

BLUE said...

"what's the flavour du jour?"

it's the flavor of the day


mmmm sounds good, i'll have that

tem said...

30/52

Meiz said...

"so the hot streak is over. got it."

No, I still have one more to go. Then, no sex for 5 years.

Meiz said...

"what's the flavour du jour?"

Beef

tem said...

well you should try to drag that last one out for awhile.

tem said...

"LeBron James has rented six cabanas at the W Hotel South Beach this weekend to celebrate his team decision, two sources confirm to UsMagazine.com."

Meiz said...

Just had a hell of a twitter argument. Good times.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Knicks sent Zeke to Akron to make 1 last pitch for Bron"

ahahaha, more beggin

/meiz

Meiz said...

"ahahaha, more beggin

/meiz"


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Keef said...

"No, I still have one more to go. Then, no sex for 5 years."


You need to plan better

Meiz said...

"You need to plan better"

Not the 1st time I've heard that.

BLUE said...

"Once you get the ring, there's no going back. You're locked in. You can get out, but it's almost impossible, and even worse, you might have a one-carat diamond whipped at you at 65 miles an hour."

temgagement

tem said...

yeah el tardo needs to learnt about the temgagement

Meiz said...

How do I do the strikethrough = sign?

Keef said...

I'm such a dumb shit for picking the Breer's for my espn streak. Nerve pick on the side of manny parra

Keef said...

strikethrough doesn't work in the comments, but it works in the posts

< strike >
< /strike >

jugdish said...

i get a little amused when people who live in the north go through those little heat waves and act like they are dying. Its like that down here 6 months out of the year.

Keef said...

"i get a little amused when people who live in the north go through those little heat waves and act like they are dying. Its like that down here 6 months out of the year."

^^^^
We were talking about that at work last night. Oh no, it's 100°, let's all die

Keef said...

FUck, I need some RIF for mize's not equal to sign comment

Keef said...

≠ = "& ne ;" - spaces & "

Keef said...

spaces and "

jugdish said...

We were talking about that at work last night. Oh no, it's 100°, let's all die



i saw a fb post with someone complaining about 92. the temps out here most days is mid 90's with a heat index close to 115 or so

jugdish said...

i don't think Bosh will be nearly as effective without his predator like dreads.

Keef said...

"i saw a fb post with someone complaining about 92. the temps out here most days is mid 90's with a heat index close to 115 or so"

Yeah our lows are usually 85-90

Meiz said...

"We were talking about that at work last night. Oh no, it's 100°, let's all die"


Lady came into the store today sending some DVDs to Caput Mundi & was all "Are they going to be okay? You know, its like 100 degrees there."

Jesus bitch, its DVDs, they'll be fine.

Meiz said...

"≠ = "& ne ;" - spaces & ""


This makes no sense to me

jugdish said...

You know, its like 100 degrees there."


they might burst into flames

Spaceman Spiff said...

meiz put on your helmet

& ne ;

no spaces

Meiz said...

Is it not as easy as alt3 = ♥?

jugdish said...

Lady came into the store today sending some DVDs to Caput Mundi


you should have charged her three times as much

tem said...

oscar whiskey tango


that out spelt wrong.

Keef said...

"Is it not as easy as alt3 = ♥?"


Yeah, hitting 5 keys instead of 2 is rocket science. Ony jug can do it

Keef said...

alt3 takes me .1 seconds. & ne ; takes me .3 seconds

Keef said...

"Lady came into the store today sending some DVDs to Caput Mundi"

Must be that porn that LP ordered

Meiz said...

"Yeah, hitting 5 keys instead of 2 is rocket science. Ony jug can do it"


But ♥ appears right away.

Keef said...

Ubaldo decided to not be terrible today

Keef said...

"But ♥ appears right away."

How? Doesn't appear on my screen. When I hit alt 3, nothing happens

Spaceman Spiff said...

found some shortcuts online, but none of them worked, incorrect symbols popped up

Spaceman Spiff said...

╪ alt216 best i could find

BLUE said...

alt3 only works in firefox

BLUE said...

proper use is the &;

BLUE said...



suck it bitch

BLUE said...

ubaldo wins #15 before the ASB

jugdish said...

Must be that porn that LP ordered



sconnie porn...gross

Spaceman Spiff said...

"There's no alt-code for it because it's a unicode character."

FACE


s

BLUE said...

maybe he'll win 20

Todd Packer said...

"maybe he'll win 20"

maybe he'll get hurt

Todd Packer said...

cmtp is in the hospital... i think they are going to remove her gallbladder. i guess i should go to the hospital

Spaceman Spiff said...

the nerve, lebron james show is on tonight

s

Keef said...

"alt3 only works in firefox"


OIC. Thanks & regards

Keef said...

"proper use is the &;"


^^^^

Spaceman Spiff said...

AJA, hope it goes smoothly

Keef said...

"cmtp is in the hospital... i think they are going to remove her gallbladder. i guess i should go to the hospital"


You should stop punching her

AJA, hope everything goes well

Keef said...

whoa

Spaceman Spiff said...

"disparate opinions among gms, agents, league HQ officials today about where LeBron is going, but consensus on 1 thing: it's not Mia."

bron going all out with the cabanas in south beach smokescreen

Keef said...

csil & mize think that lebron is an attention whore

jugdish said...

csil & mize think that lebron is an attention whore



hilarity

Keef said...

Some low scores @ the Dear John tourney

jugdish said...

i have a friend i used to be stationed with back in the day. cool guy, one of the funniest people I have ever met too. I'm friends with him on facebook and he types "LOL" waaaayyyyyyy to much. I feel like i need to address this.

Keef said...

yeah you should say something. unacceptable

Keef said...

tell him only girls & chowds use lol

Meiz said...

&;

Spaceman Spiff said...

hilarity

Keef said...

yes, only girls &; chowds use lol

Spaceman Spiff said...

"tell him only girls & chowds use lol"

let him lol in peace you guys, lol

/H

Keef said...

if you type & lol ; w/o spaces, your computer grabs its crotch

Keef said...

block

Keef said...

bold

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