Friday, June 04, 2010

PJ's bulls and Lakers are 47-0 when winning game 1

Batting Average .284
Home Runs 630
RBI's 1,836
Runs 1,662
Hits 2,781

13 time All-Star, 10 gold Gloves, 11 time Silver Slugger Award winner, MVP 1997, 3 time HR Derby Champ and MLB's All Century Team. Not to mention some of the flyest kicks I ever did rock. I loved his appearance on The Simpsons. His MVP year was stupendous. .304, 56, 147. He was my favorite non-Met baseball player growing up and still my favorite non-Met baseball player. I have over 50 rookie cards of KGJ, I have an autogrpah ball and program, I have his starting lineup figurine and I have the button from 1996 (Griffey for President Nike promo with Penny Hardaway). Everyone will say imagine if he didn't get hurt what numbers he could have reached and sure I can look at it that way too. Or I can say man, all those injuries he sustained have to prove he was clean right? Because if he wasn't I'd be crushed. His swing was the suitest swing any player ever produced. It was like a swooping ray of sunshine. His bat speed was faster than the Batmobile. Remember the slide in 1995 that got Buck Showalter fired? Remember the catch along the Yankee Stadium wall? Piece out Ken. We'll miss you and thanks. Hopefully Trey will turn out to be just like you.

When guys like that retire it makes me want to pull out all my baseball cards and reminisce. But then I start thinking of my dad and it makes me all sad like a faggot so I don't. Woe. I have some weird shit too, like Wonder bread (which I hate) used to distribute baseball cards. I have like 11 Wonder bread sets. Go figure. And I have Norman Rockwell baseball posters from Kelloggs. Those were cool, I want to frame them and put them in my little boys room. If I have a little boy. Do you know how happy I am going to be if it's a boy. I don't think youz know. Sports was so much better, it seems, when I was growing up compared to now. But probably not. HD is pretty fucking suite. But I don't like my hero's roided up. I prefer the greenies era or the coked up linebackers. Everyone is so fucking huge now. Wally Backman was one of my favorite players. Scrappy lil bastard. I was a Chris Sabo fan. Mostly because he wore those spec goggles and since I was a kid who wore glasses and played sports I had to wear those too. It was like we had a bond. I imitated every batting stance, I was batting stance guy before there was batting stance guy. I remember going to my grandmas house and drawing a strike zone on the building next to their house (fire burned it out but the back wall stood for years, east new york, mad rough you) and I would pitch for hours. And go through a lineup 4 times. Making the plays off the wall. Obsessed with baseball. Still am. And in case you're wondering fuck replay. I'm against it. Remember this? That's it I'm done.

512 comments:

1 – 200 of 512   Newer›   Newest»
jugdish said...

damn kod, read what happened in lovad. Hope you're feeling better! I have heard of that happening before, painful stuff.

jugdish said...

and reggie miller sleeping with tp's wife every night was funny

jugdish said...

when i was in high school i saw a kid get injured from the pole vault pole snapping back and popping him in the nuts. Probably the most pain I've ever seen someone in.

Beth said...

Yikes kod! I have actually heard of that before but had always heard that like 99% of the time it was for teen boys. Lucky you got in that other 1% or so apparently.

Glad you're ok.

Beth said...

And we never found out ep's middle name, did we?

jugdish said...

look at this freaking tattoo...what kind of guy would put this on his body?

jugdish said...

And we never found out ep's middle name, did we?


Anthony Shortround

jugdish said...

Anthony Gollum

Beth said...

That's gotta be a fake tattoo.

Beth said...

Hey look, EP is writing news headlines now.

jugdish said...

That's gotta be a fake tattoo.


or a fake man

jugdish said...

That's gotta be a fake tattoo.


weird...he has a dragon on the other leg


s

jugdish said...

Anthony DiGiorno

jugdish said...

Anthony Sbarro Padrino

jugdish said...

Anthony Hussein Padrino

El Padrino said...

easy cowboy

El Padrino said...

kod's nut 'sploded?

Todd Packer said...

griffey was solid

jugdish said...

i don't feel comfortable talking about kod's nuts...go back to lovad for the complete description

Todd Packer said...

wiki says that griffey tried to kill himself when he was 18.... i did not know that

Todd Packer said...

time to call the insurance people

Beth said...

"i don't feel comfortable talking about kod's nuts...go back to lovad for the complete description"

I don't mind talking about kod's nuts. :-) Basically though somehow he got one twisted and was close to having something in common with Lance Armstrong, but apparently the doc thinks he was able to save it, but not before quite a bit of pain and worry for kod.

Beth said...

Dammit, i was hoping there were some dong references in kod's nut story.

/ep

El Padrino said...

what a pain in the balls

El Padrino said...

but his dong is ok?

/ep

El Padrino said...

pics please kod

/ep

El Padrino said...

hahahahaa

jugdish said...

his cats were playing with his nuts while he was sleeping

Beth said...

"his cats were playing with his nuts while he was sleeping"

There's a pussy joke in there somewhere but I'm too tired to think of it.

El Padrino said...

aja good to see the berries are good kod

jugdish said...

aja good to see the berries are good kod, now let's talk about the twig


fixed

jugdish said...

wall

BLUE said...

grif, no doubt

tem said...

grifs stats are not as good as i thought they would be.

SAS he does not have 3,000 hits. i know all the injuries, but still thought he had 3k

El Padrino said...

bbm from cmep

they just took 10 tubes of blood fro me

my response

did he bite your neck?

El Padrino said...

10 tubes is ALOT

BLUE said...

stats are worthless

kod said...

"damn kod, read what happened in lovad. Hope you're feeling better! I have heard of that happening before, painful stuff."

thanks Jug! Feeling 1000X better today

"I guess the question to be asked is, what were you doing that twisted your testicle?"

the only contact I had with it that morning was in the shower, and I didn't do anything differently...very confused on how it could have happened. ONE IN A MILLION DOC....ONE IN A MILLION

kod said...

"but had always heard that like 99% of the time it was for teen boys."

-you're right; my doctor told me that as well

tem said...

kod isn't doing it right if his nuts are getting twisted.

tem said...

that sounds painful as hell.

i am glad kod is ok.

El Padrino said...

the only contact I had with it that morning was in the shower

lol

tem said...

""but had always heard that like 99% of the time it was for teen boys."


why does beth know of nut twisting stats?

El Padrino said...

man a dr. that looks at balls all day, a chosen profession at that

weird

El Padrino said...

(cue el p should have been a dong dr. jokes)

jugdish said...

ONE IN A MILLION DOC....ONE IN A MILLION



fusilli kod!

Spaceman Spiff said...

"but had always heard that like 99% of the time it was for teen boys."

maybe you just have to look as young as a teen boy

BLUE said...

latest big rumor about conference re-alignment

Texas, A&M, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, OK state, and colorado to join the Pac-10.

have 2 division of 8, the new 6 teams and the two AZ schools make up the eastern division.

BLUE said...

this one has been discussed realistically I guess

BLUE said...

that leaves Nebraska and Missouri to join the big10 with the other schools joining

no idea what kansas and iowa state and baylor are going to do

El Padrino said...

so i was all excited about the lobster roll joint under the greatest architectual masterpiece on earth and i come home and tell cmep and she just looks at me all sad and im like what man! be happy you love lobster rolls

and she throws the remote at me and yells i can't eat them asshole no fish while pregnant, even shellfish!

and stormed off

i felt so bad

but i called her doc and he said a few lobster rolls during the summer wouldnt totally be bad but just a couple

El Padrino said...

"latest big rumor about conference re-alignment"

sort of sick of these rumors
wish something would happen already

BLUE said...

i guess stuff will pick up steam because decisions have to be made by the end of june if they want to realign for 2011

BLUE said...

probably will have 3 or 4 16 team conferences soon

Spaceman Spiff said...

"and stormed off"

she's def gonna follow dr's no sex recommendation now

Beth said...

"and she throws the remote at me and yells i can't eat them asshole no fish while pregnant, even shellfish!"

Good to see you paid attention during the 1st pregnancy.

s

BLUE said...

why don't you go home and brag about some great wine you bought too

El Padrino said...

yeah i forgot

jugdish said...

don't let her use the microwave

/tem

BLUE said...

look honey, i brought you your favorite cigarettes and wine, and some sushi

/lp

BLUE said...

34/40

Spaceman Spiff said...

pigs still cant fly

El Padrino said...

whoa big girl

kod said...

"and stormed off

i felt so bad"

-she should cut you some slack on that; it was a nice gesture you made (a bit misguided, but nice nonetheless) ns

Keef said...

Good to see that LOV isn't the only thing that LP doesn't pay attention to

El Padrino said...

"-she should cut you some slack on that; it was a nice gesture you made (a bit misguided, but nice nonetheless) ns"

that would rational, something woman are not

El Padrino said...

apparentely i'm the only human alive who forgets things from time to time

Keef said...

31/40

kod said...

re: blown call by Joyce

"....people such as Yankees manager Joe Girardi and Cardinals manager Tony La Russa were wrong to suggest Selig should have intervened and changed history. Is such power reserved only for warm and fuzzy moments"

-agreed 100%. Not sure how many saw, but the Twins lost a game later that night to Seattle on a blown call at second that was equally horrible. If they change the blown call in the Tigers game after the fact, it opens up a huge pandoras box....I mean, to me, a blown call causing a loss is as bad or worse than a blown call blowing a perfect game. Not that the Twins would have necessarily won, but it would have extended the game until the 13th inning. All I know is I'd be pissed if they reversed the blown call against the Tigers, and not against the Twins.

Spaceman Spiff said...

food network copying that travel channel food wars show

food feud

tem said...

29/40

Keef said...

"I mean, to me, a blown call causing a loss is as bad or worse than a blown call blowing a perfect game. Not that the Twins would have necessarily won, but it would have extended the game until the 13th inning. All I know is I'd be pissed if they reversed the blown call against the Tigers, and not against the Twins."


Relax, kod. Don't get your balls all twisted

El Padrino said...

oh yea that's funny

El Padrino said...

apologize you uneducated lymie

Todd Packer said...

"Relax, kod. Don't get your balls all twisted"

nice work, keith

Meiz said...

I broke my not puking streak last night.

New guy is a fucking douchebag.

Meiz said...

Re: waterboarding and doing it again

"-Part of me thinks W is awesome for saying this (ns)"


Definitely

Meiz said...

"JFreak said...

And I know we've been over this, but seriously, if anyone was gay in that rivarly it was John Starks."


Starks was so gay, Biggie was fucking his woman, robbed him, AND wrote a song about it.

El Padrino said...

meiz went to the bait store

BLUE said...

h was on tosh.0?

BLUE said...

lightning bolt

lightning bolt

kod said...

"nice work, keith"

-yeah, that was well played

kod said...

Twins play the National league East in interleague play this summer, plus another series with the Brewers.

sweet; hopefully I can win 4 LOV bets (Twins always do really well in intergeage play)

Meiz said...

"meiz went to the bait store"


Don't act like that song isn't about John Starks

kod said...

I'll bet my left nut on it

kod said...

"Don't act like that song isn't about John Starks"

What's the name of the song, I want to google the lyrics

BLUE said...

who is john starks?

Keef said...

"I broke my not puking streak last night.

New guy is a fucking douchebag."


Did he stick his finger down your throught*?

Keef said...

"sweet; hopefully I can win 4 LOV bets (Twins always do really well in intergeage play)"


J

I

N

X

tem said...

"sweet; hopefully I can win 4 LOV bets (Twins always do really well in intergeage play)"

goddman that's a jinx

tem said...

new guy got meiz drunk and took advantage of him

goddman sundresses

jugdish said...

I'll bet my left nut on it



funny

kod said...

I decided that jinxes are just self fulfilling prophecies. If I don't believe in it, it might not work.

and the nut thing was (s)

Keef said...

"and the nut thing was (s)"


The story, or you betting it?

El Padrino said...

"and the nut thing was (s)"

you mean you really aren't betting your left nut on it?

El Padrino said...

did steve ratard die?

tem said...

steve found out that Grimace wasn't real and hasn't been the same since.

jugdish said...

steve quit


/ghost of zeke

kod said...

"The story, or you betting it?"

-betting it; I didn't even know what this was before yesterday, let alone would make up and disclose something so embarassing.

kod said...

I read that some people lose both their guys. When that happens the body stops producing testosterone and you turn into a woman (grow breasts, stop growing facial hair). I could have been turned into a fucking tranny.

El Padrino said...

I read that some people lose both their guys. When that happens the body stops producing testosterone and you turn into a woman (grow breasts, stop growing facial hair). I could have been turned into a fucking tranny.

i know

/meiz

kod said...

seriously, I will be letting anyone who wants to know about this....the consequences can be so dire and you have to act so quickly, it's good for people to know about it.

JFreak said...

You should do a series of "the more you know ads" with felix pie.

jugdish said...

i know

/meiz



hilarity

El Padrino said...

"Total credit market debt in the United States, including government, corporate and personal debt, has reached 360 percent of GDP"

kod said...

good call freak; I had never heard about that. Just googled it.

El Padrino said...

In-N-Out is offering a $20 gift card if you order a year of home delivery of the Los Angeles Times. Print media is saved! A subscription costs $39, so the deal is basically a few free burgers and a whole lot of newspapers to recycle.

El Padrino said...

save print media guys

do your part

Keef said...

"Total credit market debt in the United States, including government, corporate and personal debt, has reached -160 percent of GDP"

*fized

Keef said...

"save print media guys

do your part"


Stop it

Keef said...

LP lives in the 1960s. Wants to keep newspapers and wants to keep the "human element" of beisbol

Keef said...

preggo test last night was inconclusive

ns

jugdish said...

LP lives in the 1960s.

good times


/tp

Keef said...

need to have a replay on it

El Padrino said...

"preggo test last night was inconclusive

ns"

spring for the name brand one you cheap as

Keef said...

"spring for the name brand one you cheap as"



hilarity

Keef said...

I thought the pack of 3 for $1.50 would be alright


s

El Padrino said...

cool beer commercial

El Padrino said...

i think that aziz comic kid is funny

BLUE said...

the guy on parks and rec?

BLUE said...

that commercial was like my johnson


too long

El Padrino said...

yeah he's on that show

Keef said...

"that commercial was like my johnson


too long"


Tell me more about this.

Keef said...

/LP

Meiz said...

KOD,

"What's the name of the song, I want to google the lyrics"

I've Got A Story To Tell

Keef said...

lebron whacked danny ferry

kod said...

thanks Meiz

jugdish said...

you're welcome

/mize

kod said...

nice

El Padrino said...

drummer rocks

Spaceman Spiff said...

suite brawl


"Rangers Class A CF Engel Beltre hits game-winning HR, taunts opponents around the bases, massive brawl ensues"

Meiz said...

Work is actually pretty cool today. Shocked and surprised

El Padrino said...

big boxing match apparentely

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Colts' Manning: Neck surgery a total success"

they must have shortened it

El Padrino said...

it was a bit long

jugdish said...

suite brawl



good brawl music in the background

El Padrino said...

that brawl should have been better

El Padrino said...

potato launcher

jugdish said...

kod

jugdish said...

wadr

El Padrino said...

"A male bedbug (Cimex lectularius) traumatically inseminates a female bedbug. The female's ventral carapace is visibly cracked around the point of insemination. Bedbugs reproduce solely by this process, in which the male pierces the female's abdomen with his penis and injects his sperm through the wound."

bedbugs get down

Meiz said...

"and she throws the remote at me and yells i can't eat them asshole no fish while pregnant, even shellfish!"


What? This can't be remotely true.

Meiz said...

"Good to see that LOV isn't the only thing that LP doesn't pay attention to"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

El Padrino said...

"What? This can't be remotely true."

pregnant woman cant eat fish and most dr's extend that to shellfish for precautionary reasons

Spaceman Spiff said...

meiz is smat*

The fish that should not be eaten during pregnancy, according to the FDA, include:

* Shark
* Swordfish
* King mackerel
* Tilefish

Spaceman Spiff said...

and you can even eat those, just not regularly

Meiz said...

"save print media guys

do your part"


Fuck that shit

El Padrino said...

so i'm a liar now

El Padrino said...

when youz grow up you'll say el p was right

Spaceman Spiff said...

my mom ate a lot of fish cuz she supposedly makes the kis smater*

and just found this on interwebz

"When pregnant mom eats fish, kids do better
Study: Seafood can boost children's IQ, despite possible mercury exposure"

too bad for bgep

Spaceman Spiff said...

i think the key word for this subject would be


moderation

Spaceman Spiff said...

kid*

jugdish said...

moderation


funny

El Padrino said...

dr said no fish, her first dr said no fish, my family said no fish, etc.

maybe this is why gooks are better or good at math than americans

jugdish said...

mize...are we staying with cubs bitch?

s

im looking into hotels though

jugdish said...

i figure anywhere near michigan ave would be good and we can take public transportation whereever

El Padrino said...

looks like dr's are lazy and just ban fish instead of saying dont eat fish with high mercury

to be safe following the no fish rule seems good enough for me

not trying to have a steve

Spaceman Spiff said...

"The illnesses you can get from shellfish are not specifically dangerous to pregnancy and shellfish are not usually on the lists of foods to avoid.
"

if cmep loved lobster rolls as much as you say she does, she would have found all this shit on the internets so she would have a reason to eat them

El Padrino said...

What are the foods I should avoid during pregnancy?

Fish with Mercury: Fish that contain high levels of mercury should be avoided. Mercury consumed during pregnancy has been linked to developmental delays and brain damage. A sample of these types of fish include: shark, swordfish, king mackerel, and tilefish. Canned, chunk light tuna generally has a lower amount of mercury than other tuna, but still should only be eaten in moderation. Certain types of fish used in sushi should also be avoided due to high levels of mercury. Please see Mercury in Fish for specific types of fish and further information on how to calculate mercury levels.

El Padrino said...

"if cmep loved lobster rolls as much as you say she does, she would have found all this shit on the internets so she would have a reason to eat them"

she was too busy looking up tanning do's and dont's, plus she has bad sickness so anything close to the dont list she follows it strictly

Spaceman Spiff said...

"to be safe following the no fish rule seems good enough for me

not trying to have a steve"

hilarity, but from what the interwebz says, you may be helping create steve padrino

"Recent information released in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine says that no one should cut fish out of their diet altogether. Fish contains too many healthy nutrients that are essential "

El Padrino said...

doc also said no caffeine (but gave the ok for a soda once in awhile) so he's strict

Todd Packer said...

tanning, really?

BLUE said...

yeah, the mercury levels in fish are what's bad

can't have any kind of uncooked fish, like sushi because of listeria or some crazy bacteria

kod said...

no caffine isn't strict; that's pretty standard

El Padrino said...

"hilarity, but from what the interwebz says, you may be helping create steve padrino"

aja she doesnt eat fish when she's not pregnant so it's a non issue

she likes shrimp, lobster, crabs and that's about it

kod said...

yeah, raw tuna sushi has high levels of mercury

most fish is fine for her

El Padrino said...

"no caffine isn't strict; that's pretty standard"

to totally ban it is strict

kod said...

you don't want to end up like Jeremy Piven and get mercury poisoning

El Padrino said...

"tanning, really?"

it's a dont but really

Todd Packer said...

"to totally ban it is strict"

not really

El Padrino said...

in the end all fish is something to avoid during pregnancy, relatively speaking

moreso if it has HIGH levels of mercury

El Padrino said...

yeah maybe your right, no caffeine seems pretty standard

tem said...

"i figure anywhere near michigan ave would be good and we can take public transportation whereever"

ftr i do have an issue with sharing a bed with another man.

tem said...

when you hit up a hotel jug send me the details and i will get a room there too.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"in the end all fish is something to avoid during pregnancy, relatively speaking"

just google -fish pregnant iq- for the fuck of it

kod said...

yeah, it would be convenient if everyone was able to stay in the same Hotel

El Padrino said...

"just google -fish pregnant iq- for the fuck of it"

i hear you but my first kid is brilliant so far (knock on wood)and she stayed away from fish

sounds like bullshit or sounds like it doesnt fucking matter

jugdish said...

when you hit up a hotel jug send me the details and i will get a room there too.

will do

El Padrino said...

"when you hit up a hotel jug send me the details and i will get a room there too.

will do"

make sure porn ppv is available

El Padrino said...

Mets DFA Gary Matthews Jr.

YES!

Todd Packer said...

"Mets DFA Gary Matthews Jr.

YES!"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

BLUE said...

dude, when it's your kid, then tell me about how your wife ate fish...

until then, don't preach about how it's ok. There are risks associated with it, so why take a chance.

BLUE said...

risks = -160

so if the doctor is sitting there telling you "don't eat fish", then you don't eat fish no matter what you find on the interweb

interweb is filled with half truths and lies...except for wikipedia. (s)

Spaceman Spiff said...

thats not how it works on LOV

Meiz said...

I have no opinion on the Hotel thing since I ultimately have no say in anything involving LOV Chicago pants party

jugdish said...

thats not how it works on LOV

^^^^^

blue got serious on us

Meiz said...

Fuck having kids

tem said...

" There are risks associated with it, so why take a chance.
"

because there are benefits too.

you could have a merman son who could fix this goddman water spilling into the ocean problem for BP.

jugdish said...

merman = hilarity

Meiz said...

Big Merman fan here

jugdish said...

i have no clue what the risks are. is there a higher chance of something going wrong from eating a filet of fish at McD's one day than there is of getting hurt or kilt in a car wreck?

jugdish said...

not faulting anyone for following doc's orders...just wondering

jugdish said...

my mom worked at Red Lobster when she was pregnant with me


/steve

BLUE said...

filet o fish is ok cuz it's not real fish

BLUE said...

bad analogy jug

car wreck = accident

eating a filet o fish = choices

you control what you can control, maybe

Keef said...

"not trying to have a steve"


You can't spelt* and cmlp can't name any presidents. wadr

BLUE said...

although pregnancy = accident

transitive property

pregnancy = car wreck

BLUE said...

and now i'm going to go try and keep my testicles from getting too twisted.

Keef said...

"There are risks associated with it, so why take a chance."

There are also risks associated with walking outside in Brooklyn.

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 512   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino