Wednesday, May 19, 2010

My bum is on the Swedish

Went and saw this guy at comedy works this past weekend. I'm sure most of you think he's awful, but I don't care what you think. One of the funniest comedians of our generation, he was Borat before Borat, only funnier. Everyone has their flaws, and mine is that I ♥ Tom Green.

Jug's is that he's destroyed 2 different space shuttles (and the train thing)
Beth likes cock (sometimes)
Meiz wears glasses (why don't you have lasik)
Tem is afraid of microwaves (and ruins women's lives)
Steve is black (and likes Duke, odd combo)
EP doesn't eat "white stuff" (yet likes cock)
Keith has six dogs (he's like crazy cat lady)
Kod likes cock (sometimes)
TP designed the oil well that broke in the gulf (not to mention his homeless problem)
Spiff...well I can't think of anything
Zeke quits
Deluxe wears glasses (why don't you have lasik)
Tyler died (except on FB)
Rev eats a lot (he ate Tyler)

So anyway, that was a poor excuse at taking shots. SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS...everybody

Hanley is just being Hanley. Maybe it's something about the laid back atmosphere of latin america is why guys like Manny and Hanley are lazy...i'd be lazy too if I was making millions of dollars, hell i'm lazy now.

Celtics pretty much put the magic away last night. Good to hear another 3 months of how great the C's are from Simmons. (maybe he can write an addendum to his book for the paperback version)

Kobe is going to make $30M next year...that may or may not be true, but if he wins champyunship #5 that's a pretty good accomplishment, even if I hate him.

Watch Modern Family, that show is pure comedy gold...and the "normal" family was loosely based on me and cmblue..(s) but kinda (ns).

ok go comment

229 comments:

1 – 200 of 229   Newer›   Newest»
jugdish said...

I like tom green too, thought his show was good

jugdish said...

Deluxe wears glasses (why don't you have lasik)



funny

Steve said...

You think being black is a flaw?


That's Racist! You crackar ass cacker

jugdish said...

You crackar ass cacker


ymsoab!

BLUE said...

"You think being black is a flaw?"

are you new here?

BLUE said...

did you know that the shuttles didn't actually "explode"?

BLUE said...

although I watched challenger and it exploded

kod said...

Watch Modern Family, that show is pure comedy gold.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


Great show; finale tonight

kod said...

"i have to post tomorrow. i need at least a week to prepare

/kod"


says the guy whose never posted

jugdish said...

says the guy whose never posted



yes, and my streak is still alive!

jugdish said...

i thought Challenger exploded

BLUE said...

i think it did, although some websites say it didn't

kod said...

"yes, and my streak is still alive!"


-trying to work a black and white cookie joke in there somewhere, but I got nothing

BLUE said...

looks like an explosion to me

BLUE said...

I was going to make everyone's flaws a disaster that they were responsible for.

but couldn't think of anything for beth because she's flawless

jugdish said...

looks like an explosion to me


TWBS




s

jugdish said...

-trying to work a black and white cookie joke in there somewhere, but I got nothing


funny...I used to know what my no vomit streak was

El Padrino said...

good post

Steve said...

Laura Bush must have spent her 8 years in the white house mumbling "you dumb mother fucker" under her breath and banging her head against the wall. The woman might deserve a medal.

jugdish said...

not taking the bait

BLUE said...

she spent most of the times getting a facelift and apologizing for her whore daughters

BLUE said...

wonder if they asked Amare if his mom was a prostitute

kod said...

I was watching an old Family Guy episode this week when they made a big deal about how Laura was a murderer (at the costume party).

-I always thought it was just a completely random joke....until recently when her book came out. I guess FG was ahead of the curve on that one.

kod said...

not to say that Laura actually is a murderer (she is not of course, you need intent to murder someone)

El Padrino said...

been watching the shit out of the Hangover on HBO and last night it was on at 11pm and on HBO 2 was Dark Knight

I was flipping

BLUE said...

"not to say that Laura actually is a murderer (she is not of course, you need intent to murder someone)"


so she's a manslaughterist

El Padrino said...

Laura Bush is a SAINT!

BLUE said...

"Laura Bush is a SAINT!"

#25? that's reggie bush...common mistake

jugdish said...

colin cowherd is not high on the bulls as a good basketball destination for lebron...but he obviously hasn't seen them much.

El Padrino said...

that guy is a joke, a mafuggin joke

jugdish said...

actually he is not too bad, do you ever listen to him?

Beth said...

"but couldn't think of anything for beth because she's flawless"

Finally someone appreciates me!!!


(Although I do like Tom Green. At Thrashers games one clip they play is him from Road Trip saying and then screaming "unleash the fury!" to the snake.)

BLUE said...

cmblue does not appreciate Tom Green...

El Padrino said...

rough day for d wright fans

El Padrino said...

Tom Green is cool with me

Beth said...

"rough day for d wright fans"

Braves fans thank him though.

El Padrino said...

mets own the bravos thus far

El Padrino said...

zambrano going back to rotation

finally some sense in chicago

Beth said...

"mets own the bravos thus far"

I think the Braves 5th starter beating Johan counts as at least 2-3 wins against the Mets.

El Padrino said...

hahahahh nets

3rd

hahahahaha

El Padrino said...

"I think the Braves 5th starter beating Johan counts as at least 2-3 wins against the Mets."

watch your mouth he didnt beat johan

El Padrino said...

blue jeff francis

please advice, i think he'll be in the rotation even when de la rosa comes back

yay or nay

jugdish said...

ill be at the Rockies Astros game this Thursday, Oswalt vs Jimenez.

El Padrino said...

good matchup

tell ubaldo to show id or he'll be deported

tem said...

"tem
Was the resilient thing a joke? Or are you part of the 0%"

i am part of the 0%.

tem said...

"I like tom green too, thought his show was good"

stop it

tem said...

"i think it did, although some websites say it didn't"

tell that to the teacher lady. she's pretty committed to the lie.

jugdish said...

stop it


they stopped the show, so someone didn't agree with me. I was entertained

tem said...

tom green used to be on my list of 5 people i'd kill if i could easily get away with it.

BLUE said...

"blue jeff francis

please advice, i think he'll be in the rotation even when de la rosa comes back

yay or nay"


of course he is..there's no talk of him not being in the rotation, he's their #2 or #3 starter.

BLUE said...

"they stopped the show, so someone didn't agree with me. I was entertained"

he does a webshow now on his website. I guess at random times, whenever he feels like it. Tons of episodes and hilarity

BLUE said...

rockies rotation Ubaldo (set), Francis (set, barring injury), Cook (set), De La Rosa (set, when he comes back) and a battle for the 5th spot between Hammel, Chacin and Greg Smith

jugdish said...

he does a webshow now on his website. I guess at random times, whenever he feels like it. Tons of episodes and hilarity


i remember the poo microphone...that was hilarity

jugdish said...

maybe tem got hit with the poo microphone, that would explain the hate

El Padrino said...

"of course he is..there's no talk of him not being in the rotation, he's their #2 or #3 starter."

excellent

tem said...

cheese n rice. they have a yahoo! video about some chick who proposed to her boyfriend during her valedictorian speech.

during the speech dude looks like rev size.

then on the today show later in the video he is like half size.

El Padrino said...

for any sophisticated investors out there, and I know it's crazy expensive and a no brainer but Gold could be much more than $1200 an ounce......

so if you can swing it, get some, and it doesnt have to be gold in bullion form or coins but stocks that track the indexes or gold producing companies

store some in your IRA's or 401K's if you can

El Padrino said...

i just don't like the way the world is using credit these days

it's worse than what they perceive

paper money is just about worthless everywhere

Spaceman Spiff said...

meiz says he likes to wear glasses

i used to lie like that, but say that i didnt mind wearing glasses, before i got over my eye touching fear. now i just have to get past my eye slicing fear

fuck glasses(still wear them during the week to conserve my contacts)

Meiz said...

"Meiz wears glasses (why don't you have lasik)"



Guess

H said...

Tom Green is awful.

That is all.

Spaceman Spiff said...

H is here, surprise surprise

tem said...

h knows

El Padrino said...

"Guess"

woe

H said...

I haven't said anything about anything, Spiff. I aint counting no chickens.

kod said...

I was ok with Tom Green until I saw the interview when he acted like a complete bitch after his guest wrecked his desk during an interview.

-relax dude; you didn't buy the desk, and someone else will buy you a new one.

H said...

I'm sitting at a health clinic waiting to take a drug test. Bored as fuck.

El Padrino said...

for what

tem said...

lp, how did operation taxes go?

H said...

Required by one of our clients on the Coach cars that all drivers be drug tested. I'm getting certified so I can drive for them in a pinch.

tem said...

do the drivers have to pass the test or just be tested?

Spaceman Spiff said...

suite bed

tem said...

oh by the by from lov AD, i would pass a drug test.

Steve said...

"I'm sitting at a health clinic waiting to take a STD test. Fuck it burns."

*Fixed

Spaceman Spiff said...

rev wishes this was his blog

El Padrino said...

"lp, how did operation taxes go?"

ok i guess, we are going to call the agent who is handling the notice soon

over 5 years we had 3 years of profits and 2 years of losses equaling negative $124 when all added

so hopefully they will realize that we are just ratards who shoulda never even opened a corp and laugh at us and show us mercy

however nys is strapped for cash so they might make an example out of us with penalties

numberwise i would think they owe us money but penalty/interest hopefully it's in the hundreds and not thousands

Spaceman Spiff said...

"hopefully it's in the hundreds and not thousands"

wasnt it 1600? why would it go up to thousands

BLUE said...

why would they owe you money?

BLUE said...

IRS guy: "so you guys lost money on this business"

eP: "yes, -160"

IRS guy: "ok, so you don't owe any taxes, just penalties"

ep: "can you take that out of our refund?"

IRS guy: "refund of what?"

ep: "we lost money, you should pay us a refund"

IRS guy: "oh yes, I forgot about the tax loophole where if you run a shitty business we bail you out, it's called the Wall Street loophole"

ep: "thanks obama"

kod said...

WWL headline "Didn't C this Coming" might be the stupidist headline/pun I've seen on their site....and that's saying an awful lot

kod said...

IRS guy: "oh yes, I forgot about the tax loophole where if you run a shitty business we bail you out, it's called the Wall Street loophole"

ep: "thanks obama"


-hilarity!

El Padrino said...

"wasnt it 1600? why would it go up to thousands"

it should go down, that's a scare number

i dont know the guy was talking interest, interest on the taxes we owe, but i dont know how much tax we owe

is there a franchise tax we need to pay every year?

El Padrino said...

i dont know blue, i figure the 2 years we lost money we get money back

like a personal return

i have clue what i'm doing obviously

they dont teach corp tax laws on the streets

kod said...

"Sen. Arlen Specter became the fourth Democrat in seven months to lose a high-profile race despite the president's active involvement, raising doubts about Obama's ability to help fellow Democrats in this November's elections.

The first three candidates fell to Republicans. But Specter's loss Tuesday to Rep. Joe Sestak in Pennsylvania's Democratic senatorial primary cast doubts on Obama's influence and popularity even within his own party — and in a battleground state, no less."

-so, Democrats should pick a political opportunist who was a republican a year ago, and is still right of center over a bona fide liberal democrat just because Obama tells us to? It's news when they don't? Most people realize that Obama agreed to support him in exchange for him switching parties anyway

kod said...

I voted for Obama to lead the Country, not to tell me who to vote for in upcoming elections; I'm plenty capable of figuring that out for myself

El Padrino said...

i see ron paul's kid beat a dem incumbent too

hahahaha

tem said...

"numberwise i would think they owe us money "

they won't owe you anything if you didn't pay in anything.

BLUE said...

the reason you get money back on a personal return is because you overpaid in your withholdings.


you can roll losses forward (or back) and apply them against gains for a business though for a certain number of years.

tem said...

"is there a franchise tax we need to pay every year?"

i'd tell you the answer for free, but you were mean yesterday.

so i will tell you the answer for $100.

tem said...

"you can roll losses forward (or back) and apply them against gains for a business though for a certain number of years."

this is not true in all states, but is in most.

for another $25 i will tell el pad if it is true in NY.

Keef said...

"but couldn't think of anything for beth because she's flawless"



OK Steve

BLUE said...

forgot this is state stuff

can't wait til he has to file for the IRS

El Padrino said...

"i'd tell you the answer for free, but you were mean yesterday."

eat my shorts

i was not mean, you were mocking me

kod said...

"i see ron paul's kid beat a dem incumbent too

hahahaha"


-ummm, no. He won the GOP primary against a Republican (Dems were not allowed to even vote in that election). Most dems seem to be happy he won, he's much more extreme and will scare off a number of independents and moderate dems

Spaceman Spiff said...

"the reason you get money back on a personal return is because you overpaid in your withholdings."


whoa whoa whoa, hold the fuck up. wait, do I have to file every year?

/EP

tem said...

IRS probably won't catch on.

it sounds like t-shirt company is an LLC (or LLP) and ny is wanting their annual llc tax paid.

although el pad keeps saying corp...but i don't think he means corp in the tax sense.

El Padrino said...

"can't wait til he has to file for the IRS"

did those last night, 1120 S

gotta do the state ones CT3 S

we are a sub S corp

tem said...

CT3 S



apology accepted

tem said...

filing the 1120S will force you to amend all of your 1040s (federal personal return).

that will trigger an amendment of your NY personal returns.


of course i would wait until the feds and the state ask for updated personal returns.

kod said...

also, mark my words, the tea party is going to help Dems get elected in November (Republicans will gain seats in the House and Senate...but not as many as they otherwise would have gotten)

-Tea Partiers do well in primaries where only Registered GOP members can vote; well, many dems and independents would vote for a moderate Republican, but would not for an extreme right conservative tea partier

-a few will win, but not enough to offset the losses more established GOP members would have mitigated

El Padrino said...

"CT3 S



apology accepted"

i saw that but didnt read it

El Padrino said...

"that will trigger an amendment of your NY personal returns."

but that money is gone, and I owed NY state this past year

kod said...

"but i don't think he means corp in the tax sense."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I doubt they filed all the necessary paperwork to incorporate

jugdish said...

Lp

El Padrino said...

so your saying wait until the fed sends us a letter, similar to the one the ny state sent us

tem said...

that's what i am saying.


however no CPA or accounting firm would actually tell you that. they would all recommend you amend ASAP.

kod said...

"Officials said the Jefferson County geometry teacher was apparently teaching students about parallel lines and angles and used the example of where to stand and aim if shooting Obama.

"He was talking about angles and said, 'If you're in this building, you would need to take this angle to shoot the president,' " said Joseph Brown, a senior in the geometry."

-shocking that this occurred in Alabama

tem said...

shoot the president could be any president.

tem said...

maybe the president of T-Bagz, Inc.

jugdish said...

suite...youtube is not blocked anymore

El Padrino said...

"I doubt they filed all the necessary paperwork to incorporate"

we paid a lawyer too in 05
i have all the paperwork

El Padrino said...

"however no CPA or accounting firm would actually tell you that. they would all recommend you amend ASAP."

but one day the reckoning will come no?

plus the ct3-s says to attach the 1120S's

El Padrino said...

gotta catch a 3:10 boat, no lunch yet

fucking crazy yo

El Padrino said...

In 2008, there were more than 10 million cosmetic procedures performed (surgical and nonsurgical) in the US alone, according to the ASAPS. Men only accounting for a little over 8% of that grand total.



woman

Keef said...

1 woman had that many?

Keef said...

mize
Your name/pic is Go Cubs Go

Keef said...

Beth
Reds/Braves bet?

Keef said...

20/26

Beth said...

"Beth
Reds/Braves bet?"

Why so brave all of the* sudden?

But sure, I'm game. 3 days?

Keef said...

?

tem said...

"plus the ct3-s says to attach the 1120S's"

yes do that.


what i am saying is that down the road you are going to get new letters from the Federal Government and the NY State Goverment telling you to amend your Federal and NY personal returns.

i'd just wait for those letters before amending those on your own. there is a chance the IRS or NY or both will ignore the changes or make the changes on their own and tell you the results.

tem said...

what is a non surgical cosmetic procedure? is that like a pedicure?

Keef said...

If he waits and they send him letters in a few years, won't there be a lot more $ in penalties?

Keef said...

"what is a non surgical cosmetic procedure? is that like a pedicure?"


Botox?

El Padrino said...

"i'd just wait for those letters before amending those on your own. there is a chance the IRS or NY or both will ignore the changes or make the changes on their own and tell you the results."

got it, good to know

tem said...

21/26

tem said...

"If he waits and they send him letters in a few years, won't there be a lot more $ in penalties?"

maybe. thats why no CPA or accounting firm would recommend he do it.

its a gamble.

-160 there is no more penalties.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Botox?"

yea

jugdish said...

i may get to go to Andrews AFB next month...any LOV members out that way? I'm thinking no

Keef said...

tem is spending your money, LP

jugdish said...

DC area

Keef said...

Tomorrow is 'Everybody Draw Mohammed Day!'


Oh boy

Keef said...

Arizona utility officials threaten to cut off L.A.'s power supply as retribution for the city's boycott of immigration law




FACE!!!

Meiz said...

I am reading hilarious insanity. That is all.

jugdish said...

Arizona utility officials threaten to cut off L.A.'s power supply as retribution for the city's boycott of immigration law, unless they actually read the bill.




fixed

Keef said...

"I am reading hilarious insanity. That is all."


Weasel

Go Cubs Go said...

Dammit

Go Cubs Go said...

"Weasel"


Nerve. I'm somewhere else.

Keef said...

Ah, so weaseling out. Got it

Keef said...

(s)

BLUE said...

24/26

jugdish said...

wall

Go Cubs Go said...

Jeezaloo that was a lot of reading. I think I need new glasses now.

Keef said...

"Meiz wears glasses (why don't you have lasik)"



The glasses are slimming

Go Cubs Go said...

Porta john out back just got switched out. Almost puked. Not fucking cool.

BLUE said...

wonder what the latest NBA mock draft looks like

Go Cubs Go said...

Suite

Keef said...

why is there a port a john out back?

jugdish said...

why is there a port a john out back?


mize shits 7-10 times a day and the restroom at the UPS store couldn't keep up

Keef said...

finally saw mize's real life girl

Go Cubs Go said...

"why is there a port a john out back?"


construction next door

jugdish said...

does she have the ear muff hair do like princess leia?

Keef said...

"does she have the ear muff hair do like princess leia?"

No, but she has a light saber. IYKWIM



(s)

jugdish said...

post op

BLUE said...

why are you stalking meiz's chick

kod said...

"why are you stalking meiz's chick"


R, Blue, R?

Go Cubs Go said...

That ain't my chick

kod said...

and the answer clearly is because most of us are a bunch of nosy muthafuckas (myself included)

Keef said...

"That ain't my chick"

So you know more than 1 chick from Phoenix and Grafton?

Go Cubs Go said...

"mine"

Is the key operator

Go Cubs Go said...

Or "my"

BLUE said...

"R, Blue, R?"

I see, i guess since i'm the only one not on FB (no time for that), I'm outta the nosiness loop

BLUE said...

i figure when meiz is ready he'll post a pic here

Keef said...

mize is all semantical lately

BLUE said...

or make a video...hopefully not a sex tape though

Keef said...

Finally saw the pic of mize's future roommate who he's not gonna fuck

*fized

Steve said...

"It was a Facebook campaign meant to make a stand for free speech. But in Pakistan, a contest encouraging users of the social-networking site to submit caricatures of the prophet Muhammad has been viewed as blasphemous, prompting a court-ordered nationwide ban on the website Wednesday."

that's pretty funny

Go Cubs Go said...

"mize is all semantical lately"


I just don't like having words put in my mouth. If somebody stumbles upon this place, that could cause me to be in a world of shit.

Keef said...

I like to picture the prophet muhammad in a tuxedo t-shirt

BLUE said...

""mize is all semantical lately""

he's always hated jews, he lived in the klan house

Keef said...

"I just don't like having words put in my mouth. If somebody stumbles upon this place, that could cause me to be in a world of shit."


So she's not your girl but you want her to be your girl. Got it

Go Cubs Go said...

"So she's not your girl but you want her to be your girl. Got it"


No sir.


There you go doing that again.

Keef said...

It's ok mize. It's mostly perfectly natural to like a girl if your* a guy

Keef said...

Your* not doing much to squash the "mize is gay" theory

Go Cubs Go said...

This is clearly a pointless discussion

jugdish said...

i just heard a rumor that a town near by is getting a minor league team. i hope this is true

jugdish said...

also, our shop just got a new panel van...we're like the A team now

Go Cubs Go said...

"i just heard a rumor that a town near by is getting a minor league team. i hope this is true"


I wish we had one of those here. The Timber Rattlers some really cool things.

Steve said...

"A team"

saw the preview for the movie...it might suck.

jugdish said...

saw the preview for the movie...it might suck.


more than likely. sadly i will still see it (not at the theater though)

Go Cubs Go said...

Sometimes I just sit and stare at my checking account online.

Keef said...

"This is clearly a pointless discussion"

You're right. I should stick with our normally sophisticated conversations we have here

jugdish said...

suite


we have the Astros double a affiliate in corpus and the triple a in round rock, but both are about 3-4 hours away. this will be 30 minutes or so

jugdish said...

the astros are basically a minor league team...not sure why i am so happy

Go Cubs Go said...

"You're right. I should stick with our normally sophisticated conversations we have here"


One doesn't need sophistication to not be pointless.


LIKE YOUR FACE

jugdish said...

Mize: Did we just become best friends?!

Keef: Yep!

Mize: Do you want to do karate in the garage?!

Keef: YEP!

Go Cubs Go said...

I need to see that movie more

Go Cubs Go said...

Who's eracisting?

kod said...

ha ha


awesome

Keef said...

"One doesn't need sophistication to not be pointless.


LIKE YOUR FACE"



Stop trying to start a fight, mize

Keef said...

We just had a meeting with Absolute* people. They gave us all a 50ml of each flavore. Suite

kod said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kod said...

stupid blogger

Keef said...

I'm still gonna buy a 1.75 of Wolfschmidt for $13 before I buy a 750 of Absolut for $19. I don't need that high dollar shit

jugdish said...

you should see the stuff "Military Special" that they sell on base here for like $8

jugdish said...

ill send some to Lp to pay of H's bet

Go Cubs Go said...

$10.99 for the Fleisch, baby.

Spaceman Spiff said...

action shots from the kendra sex tape are out

here

Keef said...

note to self

jugdish said...

60/87

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 229   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino