Monday, May 17, 2010

I might effort

There was a zorse race this weekend. The Derby favorite won, the Derby winner finished like 8th, and neither of them are going to race at Belmont in a few weeks. Zorse racing is the suck. I don't know how the Derby suckt* me 2 weeks ago.

Rafael Nadal won his 18th Masters title. I think that's a record. We all talkt* about how Tiger was going to break Nicklaus' record and Nadal slipped under the radar and blew right past Jack. Good for you, Raffy.

Jeff Van Gundy says that LeBron won't put da Bulls over the top. I probably agree with him. I wouldn't be shocked or surprised if LeBron wins < than 2 titles in his career. He's happy being a star, he doesn't want to be the best.evAr.

On Sunday the Twins won for the first time ever in the Bronx. At least it seems like the first time ever. I think the last time they won there, kod was riding the bologna pony. wadr

The Reds are in first place. jinx

The Mess are in last place. And Niese got hurt so OP probably has to come back into the rotation. FACE!!

Suite Lou says the Cubs must start winning. He should of* said that a long time ago. No wonder why they couldn't win shit.

This may come as a surprise, but Justin Duchscherer is on the DL. No, really, look it up. First time he's been on it this week. Doug Davis has a heart condition. He should go see The Wizard.

I said I'd effort on this post. I didn't say it would be good.

The Celtics need a refresher on O:FB.

There was some automobile racing this weekend. Check out the results on the internet. I don't feel like looking it up.

Softball suckt*, yet again. Last night was playoffs. First off, I don't know how we made the playoffs because we only won 2 games. Then we lost the game by about 10 runs. Or as one of the guys on our team calls them, "points". That tells you everything you need to know about how this team is. Fucking terrible. But they boat* my jersey this season, so I feel obligated to play on this team at least for another season or 2.

I think that's enough. Go comment.

229 comments:

1 – 200 of 229   Newer›   Newest»
It's true. It's true. said...

blah

Beth said...

Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays.

It's true. It's true. said...

yep

It's true. It's true. said...

out late on sat and sun. i'm too old for this shit.

It's true. It's true. said...

rumor has it that i am getting a raise today too

It's true. It's true. said...

nobody has gotten a raise in like 2 years. now i get one.

everyone is going to hate me.

It's true. It's true. said...

hate me more than before.

It's true. It's true. said...

that's not really woe. that's more sarcasm than woe.

It's true. It's true. said...

i should probably go to work i guess

El Padrino said...

i'm in a world of shit

BLUE said...

why would you tell everyone at work that you got a raise?

BLUE said...

a world of shit? sounds like 2 chicks, one cup

El Padrino said...

did you know that if you own a company you have to file taxes every year even if it is dormant and no profits were recorded?

BLUE said...

i knew this

El Padrino said...

good use tem and blue are
they coulda told me that

they also coulda told me i need to pay taxes on the tshirt money i used a few years ago

thanks guys

El Padrino said...

be there at the divorce proceedings at least

BLUE said...

fyi, you're supposed to pay taxes on gambling winnings as well if they're over a certain threshold...but can be offset by losses.

tem said...

"why would you tell everyone at work that you got a raise?"

i won't. small company. they'll know.

tem said...

also the only reason i know is that big big bossman was talking about it in the hallway to the cfo. he doesn't really talk about those things behind closed doors.

tem said...

"did you know that if you own a company you have to file taxes every year even if it is dormant and no profits were recorded?"

yes. i did know that.

tem said...

"fyi, you're supposed to pay taxes on gambling winnings as well if they're over a certain threshold...but can be offset by losses."


you are supposed to pay on them no matter what. even if it is $1 of winnings.

tem said...

"did you know that if you own a company you have to file taxes every year even if it is dormant and no profits were recorded?"

just file back taxes with $0 profits and be done with it.

it shouldn't be a huge deal.

Steve said...

"gambling winnings as well..."

"ven if it is $1 of winnings"

so, EP has nothing to worry about then.

Steve said...

First Arab-American wins Miss USA

El Padrino said...

just file back taxes with $0 profits and be done with it.

it shouldn't be a huge deal.

but we had a profit, i;e tshirt money

about $1100, they say we owe estimated 1600

that makes 0 sense

El Padrino said...

help me

BLUE said...

"you are supposed to pay on them no matter what. even if it is $1 of winnings."

right, but you can net that against your losses..

El Padrino said...

i have to go to an hr block or something

BLUE said...

so typically, the only way you have "winnings" is if you hit some huge moneymaker

BLUE said...

1600 is just an estimate, and then they probably have tacked on penalties and interest onto those

so what you'll have to do is figure out what your actual tax is, and then pay penalties and interest on those

El Padrino said...

"you are supposed to pay on them no matter what. even if it is $1 of winnings."

that's not how vegas and AC work

i won, i didnt pay shit

there is a threshold

El Padrino said...

"so what you'll have to do is figure out what your actual tax is, and then pay penalties and interest on those"

and how do i find that out?

BLUE said...

you'll probably have to go to a tax guy, i wouldn't go to HR block, they're worthless

BLUE said...

you could probably do it yourself, if it's a partnership you'll need form 1065. IF you're the sole proprietor, you'll have to re-file your income tax on a 1040 and amend them to include Schedule C

El Padrino said...

i cannot do it myself

El Padrino said...

i fucked this up already

BLUE said...

they always play commercials on the radio here about how some tax guy helped them save thousands and kept them from going to jail

probably wouldn't hurt to call a local tax guy and see what he'd charge.

El Padrino said...

total profits over 5 years was $1191.30

so i guess taxes on that wouldnt be close to $1600

Steve said...

"total profits over 5 years was $1191.30"


doesn't seem worth your time.

El Padrino said...

"doesn't seem worth your time."

yeah except the IRA wants thier money or they'll fuck something up

BLUE said...

IRS is like a dog with a bone, they won't give up on that shit either

BLUE said...

interleague starts this weekend? already?

jugdish said...

yeah except the IRA wants thier money or they'll fuck something up



send them a free tshirt

BLUE said...

Todd Helton is making almost 18M this year...are you kidding me/

tem said...

"just file back taxes with $0 profits and be done with it.

it shouldn't be a huge deal.

but we had a profit, i;e tshirt money

about $1100, they say we owe estimated 1600

that makes 0 sense"


penalties and interest.

if you made money you should have filed.

tem said...

"right, but you can net that against your losses.."

on a schedule A and you have to have 2% of AGI of losses (and/or other 2% items) before the netting takes effect.

tem said...

"that's not how vegas and AC work

i won, i didnt pay shit

there is a threshold"

vegas and ac doesn't have to report you to the irs unless you win over $2K or some threshhold.

if you win less it is your responsibility to report the winnings on your own.

tem said...

"they always play commercials on the radio here about how some tax guy helped them save thousands and kept them from going to jail"

these are bullshit.

usually the IRS tells someone they owe $60K because the IRS is just guessing. then the tax guy calculates the actual tax and it is like $1000 and he says he saved the person $59k. in a way i guess he did, but not really. they never truly owed $60k.

tem said...

el pad probably doesn't even itemize so he can't even offset.

Steve said...

"if you win less it is your responsibility to report the winnings on your own"


yea, i can see that happening.

[s]

El Padrino said...

"if you win less it is your responsibility to report the winnings on your own"


HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
BWWWHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

El Padrino said...

either way i have to pay
either way i'm dead

hopefully it's minimal and i can tell my partners it's backtaxes and make them pay my share

BLUE said...

you laugh...but if you get audited and they see trips to AC and Vegas, they'll ask

Spaceman Spiff said...

fucking IRA*

Steve said...

"you laugh...but if you get audited and they see trips to AC and Vegas, they'll ask"

IRS: Steve, did you win any money in Vegas?

Steve: No

done and done

BLUE said...

not that easy steve


they'll look at your bank records, ask how you paid for stuff, see if there are any weird deposits around that time.

They're relentless with that shit

Beth said...

IRS: Steve, did you win any money in Vegas?

Steve: No, don't you see the helmet?

done and done


*fixed

jugdish said...

IRS: Steve, did you win any money in Vegas?

Steve: No

done and done


looks like you've got it all figured out

s

Steve said...

any money i won in Vegas (it's never happend) would go directly to strippers and blow.


I'd be in the clear.

BLUE said...

"IRS: Steve, did you win any money in Vegas?

Steve: No, don't you see the helmet?

done and done"

rainman almost took down vegas and he's a ratard

tem said...

IRS isn't really concerned about you going and winning a little bit and not reporting it.

BLUE said...

"any money i won in Vegas (it's never happend) would go directly to strippers and blow.


I'd be in the clear."

good plan...i like it, it all comes back to cocaine and hookers

BLUE said...

"IRS isn't really concerned about you going and winning a little bit and not reporting it."

they are if they audit you

it's a fucking awful process

The Rev said...

From what I know, chances of an audit are about 1%.

Unless you do anything that is a red flag. Then it goes up dramatically.

BLUE said...

they try and find any little mistake, it's like they're colombo

tem said...

i don't understand how if el pad had a business and was operating it and it was making money he had no idear that he was supposed to file a tax return.

BLUE said...

rev is correct

if you're a small business owner that increases to like 40%

BLUE said...

"i don't understand how if el pad had a business and was operating it and it was making money he had no idear that he was supposed to file a tax return."

he's in the mafia, they don't pay taxes

BLUE said...

that's why 90% of those mobsters end up in jail for tax evasion

El Padrino said...

"IRS isn't really concerned about you going and winning a little bit and not reporting it."

that works then, cuz i'm not concerned with telling them

got a noon appt downtown to file these returns i'll holla when i get back

The Rev said...

if you're a small business owner that increases to like 40%


Which I am.

And this is why I have a tax guy figure this out for me.

The Rev said...

I think if it is about $1600, they'll send you letters instead of going through full blown audits. Auditors are generally concerned about going after bigger fish.

But I could be wrong.

El Padrino said...

"i don't understand how if el pad had a business and was operating it and it was making money he had no idear that he was supposed to file a tax return."

said the accountant

El Padrino said...

i probably should have thought that through

some sort of capital gain tax i guess

jugdish said...

said the accountant


not like taxes are a secret

jugdish said...

got a noon appt downtown to file these returns i'll holla when i get back


good luck!

jugdish said...

"any money i won in Vegas (it's never happend) would go directly to strippers and blow.



just keep your receipts

Spaceman Spiff said...

tiger's main mistress doing playboy suite

Meiz said...

Beth,

Admit it. At least once, you stopped and just yelled "FUCK! Temgagement! Fuck! They're gonna kill me over this!"

C'mon now, we all know it happened.

Beth said...

"Beth,
Admit it. At least once, you stopped and just yelled "FUCK! Temgagement! Fuck! They're gonna kill me over this!"
C'mon now, we all know it happened."

Well if by "they" you mean LOV, let's just say there's a reason I waited a few weeks to mention it on here.

BLUE said...

why would we kill her over it.

it gives some of us "hope"

Keef said...

"i don't understand how if el pad had a business and was operating it and it was making money he had no idear that he was supposed to file a tax return."


You obviously haven't paid attention to the last 4 years of LP

Steve said...

does anybody else get the feeling that if BP wasn't interested in collecting the oil they could have had the leak plugged long ago.

Keef said...

mize
Reds/Breer's* 2 game series bet?

BLUE said...

BP is morons

all these oil companies are idiots

Keef said...

NYC metro area has the worse pizza

tem said...

the amount of oil coming out of that well is just a fraction of what seeps out of the ground in the oceans naturally.

this spill is adding like 0.01% to the amount of oil in the oceans.

tem said...

temgagements suck. i am still sorry to hear that.

jugvorce is worse though (i suspect).

tem said...

"You obviously haven't paid attention to the last 4 years of LP"

clearly not.

jugdish said...

jugvorce is worse though (i suspect).


it wasn't fun, that's for sure.

BLUE said...

7/11

tem said...

"got a noon appt downtown to file these returns i'll holla when i get back"

not sure you can file years of returns in one meeting, but let's hope they go easy on you.

take some lube.

well it is 1pm EST now, so i hope you took lube.

Meiz said...

Fuck. Ketchup is rough right now.

This tax stuff is thrilling. NS

Keef said...

also 7/11

Keef said...

"be there at the divorce proceedings at least"



Don't forget that after the divorce you'll have to pay child support. You don't want them coming at you after a few years to collect that

BLUE said...

at least he won't have to answer to the wife about that

tem said...

6/11

Steve said...

"the amount of oil coming out of that well is just a fraction of what seeps out of the ground in the oceans naturally."

that much doesn't seep out in one spot over the course of a couple weeks.

El Padrino said...

FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

El Padrino said...

i'm gonna have to do this myself

private accountant wants $3000, H&R Cock* wants $2000 to file returns for the past 4 years

there has got to be an online tax site where i can file past corp taxes

tem said...

you can get the forms at irs.gov

tem said...

is it a partnership or are they amending your personal returns?

tem said...

actually if they IRS is trying to bill you it is either a C corp or you have it on your personal return.

BLUE said...

you can pay the 2K and then you'll have a net loss and not owe anything, can deduct it from your personal taxes if you itemize

Meiz said...

"mize
Reds/Breer's* 2 game series bet?"


Sure, I'll gladly let you change my name & avatar.


Assume the sweep

tem said...

and if you have real partners and are putting it on your personal return then it is all fucked up.

tem said...

"can deduct it from your personal taxes if you itemize
"

i doubt he does.

BLUE said...

my comment was in gest

tem said...

the best part is that after he amends NY will come asking for even more money.

tem said...

or the worst part depending on how you look at it.

BLUE said...

do you have an LLC or something?

Steve said...

- note to self.

never hire EP as my CFO.

Keef said...

"Sure, I'll gladly let you change my name & avatar."


good xnij

BLUE said...

IRA* will usually let you setup a payment plan with them.

BLUE said...

cuz if it's an LLC gets a lot more confusing

tem said...

"IRA* will usually let you setup a payment plan with them."

yep. they might actually be required to accept a payment plan.

El Padrino said...

"the best part is that after he amends NY will come asking for even more money."

it is ny, havent heard boo from the fed

tem said...

are these sales tax returns or income tax?

BLUE said...

oh, it is the state of NY?

then I don't know shit about shit there

BLUE said...

yeah, that was going to be another question, did you file the sales tax returns?

tem said...

how is the cmk football team doing?

keith should post pics. cmkless if he wants.

El Padrino said...

income tax

tem said...

by the by tell hsilok that i am resilient.

El Padrino said...

this is a disaster

Keef said...

"how is the cmk football team doing?

keith should post pics. cmkless if he wants."


THeir season is done. They had some party at a bar last night. I think they finished 1st. Don't have any pics

El Padrino said...

"yeah, that was going to be another question, did you file the sales tax returns?"

that's the other site's problem
bascally I designed the shirts and sold them through another site that charged the customers

i was paid a commish on the design

jugdish said...

IRA* will usually let you setup a payment plan with them.


pay it off from the tshirt money


s

Keef said...

Start gambling again. You'll win the money back in no time

Keef said...

Just bet against the Mess every night. You'll be a billionaire

Keef said...

The pic on the front page of msnbc is hilarity

jugdish said...

ouch!

jugdish said...

23/30

Keef said...

25/30

Keef said...

Goddman

Meiz said...

I've got nada today

Tyler said...

I have been reading Simmons basketball book. I am considering starting a blog to keep track of some things.

Meiz said...

"I have been reading Simmons basketball book. I am considering starting a blog to keep track of some things."


He already did that

Tyler said...

I think he has some kind of Boston reference on each of the first 50 pages. Then somehow he lets a page go by without one, and then it's another 20 pages straight, then he gets into NBA history and I think there were actually three pages in a row without one.

Tyler said...

He already did that


Yeah, I saw on his blog where he posted all of the incorrect stuff, I'm talking about what I just commented about. Also: he does into this big thing about how Russell was better than Wilt, but never asks the question who was better; Bird or Magic? He's afraid of the answer because the same arguments he made for Russell you can make for Magic. And then when he makes a reference to the two, he ALWAYS lists Bird first.

Tyler said...

Plus, Jesus Christ, you thought the first book was hard to read with all of the footnotes, I think I'm on page 90 and there's been 3-4 pages without a footnote. It's not an easy read.

Tyler said...

Also, the amount of times he's referenced the Ewing Theory as "one of the greatest theories in the last twenty years" is at 2 and I'm only 12% of the way through the book.

El Padrino said...

so the book sucks

got it

Tyler said...

This place is dead anyway...

Keef said...

"so the book sucks

got it"

^^^^^

Tyler said...

It's...interesting; if you love the Celtics (Aitch), you'll love it.

I've gotten into the section where he talks more about the league and not so much about the Celtics every other sentence, so it's getting better.

El Padrino said...

this is just an awful day

Meiz said...

I thoroughly enjoyed the book. Loved all the footnotes.

El Padrino said...

and to top it off some dickwad is harassing me to trade Prince and Ian Stew for

D.Lee and Billingsley

El Padrino said...

and that's not even the end of it

there is more

Keef said...

woe woe woe woe woe

Meiz said...

LP's going to Federal Pound Your Ass Prison





Night night, don't forget to keep your butt hole tight.

Keef said...

A Cincy starter didn't get the win until their 16th game this year. Wow

El Padrino said...

"LP's going to Federal Pound Your Ass Prison"

nonsense

Keef said...

I'm SAS that LP isn't going to use H&R Cock

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Adam_Schefter

Andre Johnson negotiated his last deal by himself, using an uncle as an advisor. Saved himself three percent and cost himself 100 percent. "

hilarity

El Padrino said...

"I'm SAS that LP isn't going to use H&R Cock"

$500 a year = $2000

no thanks

El Padrino said...

i've emptied my savings to pay debt off, when cmep finds this mess she will flip the fuck out

El Padrino said...

i'm keeping it from her for now but it's wearing on me

i'm stressed

El Padrino said...

and she's pregnant

BOOM

El Padrino said...

NS

Spaceman Spiff said...

congrats if on purpose

Keef said...

"$500 a year = $2000

no thanks"

Yeah, that's not what I meant

Keef said...

congrats on the new kid

ns

El Padrino said...

"congrats if on purpose"

she was on top

El Padrino said...

thanks as/spiff

jugdish said...

congrats on the new kid

ns



^^^^^

congrats man!

Keef said...

you should never let debt stop you from procreating

jugdish said...

she was on top


that's how i was conceived


/steve

Todd Packer said...

congrats, ep

El Padrino said...

"you should never let debt stop you from procreating"

that's right, see me

El Padrino said...

thanks old guy

El Padrino said...

and jug

tem said...

congrats el pad

tem said...

"i'm keeping it from her for now "

good plan.

tem said...

what form does NY want you to fill out?

Todd Packer said...

"good plan"

^^^^^^^^^

El Padrino said...

"good plan"

^^^^^^^^^

it's tough

El Padrino said...

"what form does NY want you to fill out?"

i dont know dude, i think a 1056

BLUE said...

1065 probably

BLUE said...

congrats on the kid...having 2 is harder than it looks, but worth it anyway

Keef said...

"what form does NY want you to fill out?"


-160

El Padrino said...

"congrats on the kid...having 2 is harder than it looks, but worth it anyway"

thanks, expecting the worse

Spaceman Spiff said...

"thanks, expecting the worse"

another girl? dont think like that

Keef said...

Oh he's definitely having another girl, with all the porn he watches

Keef said...

wadr

El Padrino said...

"Oh he's definitely having another girl, with all the porn he watches

wadr"


totally

El Padrino said...

tem i'll give you $300 to do the taxes for me

whatta think

ns

El Padrino said...

need to file corp taxes from 2006-2010

i can fed ex or fax or scan into an email all the documents

and pay you via paypal

straight cash homey

sleep on it

piece

Meiz said...

Too bad about the kid thing

tem said...

"tem i'll give you $300 to do the taxes for me

whatta think

ns"

if you can't even tell me what form they want you to fill out then i don't want anything to do with it.

ns

Beth said...

"and she's pregnant

BOOM"

Congrats EP!! When's she due?

Meiz said...

I'll do it for $300

Beth said...

i'll screw it up for $300

*fixed

Meiz said...

Never said I'd do it right

Meiz said...

Shit. Maybe that's part of the reason I can't hang on to girlfriends.


s

Keef said...

wall

jugdish said...

wall

jugdish said...

block

jugdish said...

block

jugdish said...

bnu

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"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino