Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Speaking of things...

The title has nothing to do with anything. Deal with it.

So last thursday at work my buddy doesn't come into the office. Happens again on friday. So he quit/resigned/got fired whatever. Then over the weekend another guy up and quits. All sorts of drama here. Drama leads to new news though, so that is always good.

Turns out my buddy who quit/resigned/got fired was tagging the only thing worth tagging here off and on for the last year or more. Now she is the executive assistant to one of the two big bosses. She was assistant to both of them but now just one. Anyways, needless to say she has dirt on everyone in the office. And of course after you get a chick to climax she'll basically tell you anything, so for the last year or more my buddy has had all the dirt on everyone in the office. It was fun to hear who was trying to fuck who and who was cheating on their wives and who was paying other people under the table and what not. Nothing ground breaking or super amazing. Apparently nobody has any secret super hero powers, but it would seem a lot of people (especially the dudes in construction) really enjoy cheating on their wives. It kind of opened my eyes a bit. I knew people cheated and I knew it happened often but to hear it about people you wouldn't have thought it about was something else. Of course what my buddy was saying could have been all lies.

Anyway, complete change of subject. Have you ever been driving on the interstate, or anywhere really, and looked at the light poles. You are driving and looking at them and then you think to yourself "hmm, those don't look too far apart, I could probably run from 1 to the other at this pace. It is taking me like 10 seconds to get there. I could run that." But the thing is you are driving at like 70mph, there is no way you could run that. You'd never come close to finishing that quickly. But it just seems like it when you are in the car. Bottles the mind.

OK it is late I better publish. Also people keep asking me questions at work. I think because people quit I get to do their work...woe.

370 comments:

1 – 200 of 370   Newer›   Newest»
I'm not a harASSer said...

exactly

I'm not a harASSer said...

there is a lot of hooking up going on in offices these days

#1 place to find a "cheating partner"

not sayin, jus sayin

I'm not a harASSer said...

how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse?



none...alligators can't fly

Steve said...

"#1 place to find a "cheating partner""

when i read this i pictured Blue hitting the Publish button and then giving the hot secretary a wink.

IT'S TRUE said...

"I could probably run from 1 to the other at this pace. It is taking me like 10 seconds to get there."

fucking annihilate you

Beth said...

"And of course after you get a chick to climax she'll basically tell you anything"

That's just what we want you to think.

I'm not a harASSer said...

EP doesn't have to ♥ dong anymore unless he just likes having that picture

I'm not a harASSer said...

"if you can get a chick to fake climaxing, she'll tell you anything"


*fized

Beth said...

"if you can get a chick to fake climaxing, she'll lie to you about anything"

*double fized

El Padrino said...

fucking chicks

Beth said...

"fucking chicks"

Yeah, that's what you're usually doing when we're faking our orgasms.

El Padrino said...

It was just another day in the life of Staten Island's Joel Lederman on May 10, 2004—that is, until he bent over his kitchen stove to light a smoke and his T-shirt went up in flames. He sustained severe burns to his body and hands, and spent three and a half weeks in a hospital Burn Center, undergoing surgery twice. Then came Lederman's lawsuit against Macy's, where he bought the "light-blue, 100-percent cotton Club Room by Charter Club T-shirt." Now, some might say that's what ya' get for wearing Club Room, but Lederman's lawyers demanded monetary satisfaction, and they have prevailed


jesus

tem said...

he sued them because he caught his own shirt on fire?

Steve said...

I’m designing a new system that manages surveillance cameras over a network.

I’ve been trying to think of a good name for it and I almost asked LOV but I figured it would lead to a bunch of retard jokes. Then it hit me.

Helmet Surveillance System

huummm...

Beth said...

"Helmet Surveillance System"

With the motto "surveillance so subtle it won't hit you over the head".

El Padrino said...

"While Tim Tebow is learning how to acquire these skills, Paulus already showed them after a five-year vacation."

::dick vitale::

El Padrino said...

"he sued them because he caught his own shirt on fire?"

yes and he won

Thanks obama!

Meiz said...

My credit union's online banking is broken. WFT

El Padrino said...

RIP Guru

Steve said...

"Although his stats aren’t good, Paulus did set a Syracuse record with a 67.7 percent completion rate. And 13 of his 14 interceptions came in the first five games, including 5 picks in one game. This indicates that Paulus is a quick learner. After adding 20 pounds to his frame to prepare for pro football, Paulus claims to have more velocity on his passes, which is plausible. Although Paulus was at times frenetic in the pocket, stared down receivers and attempted too many high-risk passes, his pocket maneuverability, savvy ball movement, anticipation and timing are difficult skills to teach. While Tim Tebow is learning how to acquire these skills, Paulus already showed them after a five-year vacation. It is why I believe the Packers must have told Paulus at his workout that the two-time captain of the Blue Devils basketball team has a brighter future in football."

El Padrino said...

i know where it came from steve

El Padrino said...

The Supreme Court, voting 8-1, struck down a federal law aimed at banning videos that show graphic violence against animals, saying it violates the right to free speech. The justices threw out the criminal conviction of Robert Stevens of Pittsville, Va., who was sentenced to three years in prison for videos he made about pit bull fights.

The law was inspired by so-called crush videos, where women kill chicks or mice, but was written far more broadly to outlaw depictions of any animal cruelty that is unlawful. Chief Justice Roberts, writing for the court, said the measure stretched too far. Justice Samuel Alito was the lone dissenter, saying the harm caused by the underlying criminal acts outweighed any value of the depictions.

I'm not a harASSer said...

so if vick had videotaped it, he'd be fine...got it

El Padrino said...

sam adams

I'm not a harASSer said...

speaking of beer, had a miller lite over the weekend...fucking awful beers

I'm not a harASSer said...

had probably been 2 years since I had shitty cheap beer.

Beth said...

"sam adams"

Interesting article EP. (ns)

El Padrino said...

yeah i liked it, i meant to link it yesterday, glad i remembered

El Padrino said...

penguins are funny looking

Steve said...

"i know where it came from steve"


nobody said you didn't

Tyler said...

Just heard about Guru. Sad news.

Tyler said...

And the Prez shut down Westwood to go to the airport. I got in on time, others were not so lucky.

I'm not a harASSer said...

The NFL is pushing divisional games into the final few weeks of the season to curb the problems of teams resting guys because they've clinched the division.

interesting approach...makes the last 3 weeks very interesting to say the least

I'm not a harASSer said...

Jon Rauch has 6 saves already?

awelesome*

El Padrino said...

unpleasant argument with CVS girl

I gave you a ten.

No you gave me a five.

Yeah no it was a ten.

Sir. It was a five.

Can you count your draw out I need the five back because it was a ten.

I'm sure it was a five.

I'll give you a minute to count it.

Sir I owe you five dollars. Sorry.

Apology accepted.

El Padrino said...

"interesting approach...makes the last 3 weeks very interesting to say the least"

doesnt matter, they'll still rest

colts rested against titans didnt they

I'm not a harASSer said...

might matter, might not....but it's better than nothing

if a team is 13-1 and has a 3 game lead on the division, then of course it doesn't matter

I'm not a harASSer said...

i think the idea being that teams won't know how the tiebreakers will play out...because they'll have so many divisional games left.

El Padrino said...

polian is laughin right now, i can hear it

El Padrino said...

having been keeping up with Erin

she still looking fabulous? and did she get voted off?

Meiz said...

I had a dream that the Joker was after me last night, and Batman was being an asshole and not helping me. Fuck that guy.

Meiz said...

"having been keeping up with Erin

she still looking fabulous? and did she get voted off?"


She's still in the house. Dressed up as Mrs Wallace at Jack Rabbit Slim's last night. Me likey.

El Padrino said...

yummy

Steve said...

"She's still in the house. Dressed up as Mrs Wallace at Jack Rabbit Slim's last night. Me likey."


no link?

Steve said...

for the love of god, somebody find this video

El Padrino said...

college expansion again

Beth said...

Erin Andrews dancing link.

El Padrino said...

wind farms in the ocean

I'm not a harASSer said...

damn that nose


/tem

El Padrino said...

thanks beth

Steve said...

"Erin Andrews dancing link."


i'm gonna have to start DVRn that show

Meiz said...

Beth is a better googler than me.

I'm not a harASSer said...

pam anderson looks alright as well

i haven't watched in a few weeks since cmblue hasn't been home

Beth said...

"Beth is a better googler than me."

Well I used the very creative search of: erin andrews dancing with the stars. (ns)

I can see how that might've stumped you.

Meiz said...

wft

Steve said...

"Well I used the very creative search of: erin andrews dancing with the stars. (ns)"


ahhh, maybe that's how i messed up i did "erin andrews boobs"

[s]

El Padrino said...

the fuck are you linking meiz

Meiz said...

Just ignore it

Beth said...

"Just ignore it"

Wow, that's pretty surprising (the link/retirement, not that ep doesn't care).

Meiz said...

"Wow, that's pretty surprising"\


28 years old, best player in the world...Ahh fuck it. I quit.

Beth said...

"She married last December to AeroMexico CEO Andres Conesa, and has said for years that she would quit competing when she was ready to begin a family."

El Padrino said...

"28 years old, best player in the world...Ahh fuck it. I quit."

SHE'S A WOMAN!

El Padrino said...

dont link lpga stories man

cmon

Pop It In! said...

"And 13 of his 14 interceptions came in the first five games, including 5 picks in one game. This indicates that Paulus is a quick learner."


If he was a quick learner he wouldn't have thrown 13 picks in the first 5 games

Beth said...

Maybe LPGA stories need a tag of NSFEP.

El Padrino said...

PED suspension looming in beisbol

El Padrino said...

Will Carroll of Baseball Prospectus believes a pitcher has begun the appeal process for a PED suspension, and while the process can be lengthy, he says a high ranking baseball executive said a suspension will be announced shortly.

El Padrino said...

if it's johan i will lose my shit

El Padrino said...

if it's not i'll be fine

El Padrino said...

i say it's cliff lee

El Padrino said...

i smell a wall

I'm not a harASSer said...

i think Brandon Webbster

El Padrino said...

good call

El Padrino said...

mcnabb wants TO on skins

Meiz said...

Zambrano!


Or is he too stupid to use PEDs?

I'm not a harASSer said...

jamie moyer

Steve said...

girl from HS has 4 kids: 7, 4, 2 and 6 months.

her husband just ditched for another woman.


ouch

El Padrino said...

happens all the time

Steve said...

"happens all the time"


already planning your exit strategy?

El Padrino said...

was this linked? some fool from apple left a prototype i phone in a bar

El Padrino said...

"already planning your exit strategy?"

i would never

El Padrino said...

unless she stared it

El Padrino said...

"Bonilla wasn’t any better the second time around, so the Mets waived him in 2000. The problem was that the team still owed Bonilla $5.9 million in guaranteed salary. Bonilla’s agents worked out a deal with the Mets where he would defer the salary if the team would pay him $1,193,248.20 every July 1 from 2011 to 2035. Not a bad deal for someone who was so bad the team basically paid him to go away."

OMG

Pop It In! said...

i would never

unless she stared it



So you would. Got it

Meiz said...

"was this linked? some fool from apple left a prototype i phone in a bar"


Christ, man.

Pop It In! said...

$1,193,248.20 X 25 >>>>>>>>>>>> than $5,900,000

Mess are smat

Pop It In! said...

Phone found alive, hiding in bar

Pop It In! said...

O:FB

Steve said...

"$1,193,248.20 every July 1 from 2011 to 2035"

Mets suck at math.

Pop It In! said...

"Mets suck at math."

LP is their mathematician

El Padrino said...

good contract facts here

El Padrino said...

"So you would. Got it"

if i fount her naked with another dude in my house i would

but i'd get possesion of the kids, cuz iz love the kids

El Padrino said...

The Seattle Mariners star outfielder signed a five-year contract extension in July 2007 that included, among other perks, four round-trip airline tickets to Japan each year and the services of an interpreter and trainer throughout the season. It also included a housing allowance for each year of the deal. While the numbers themselves aren’t eye-popping—the allowance ranges from $32,000 to $36,000 a year over the life of the deal—kudos to Ichiro for getting someone else to pay his rent.


rent free for ichiro

Pop It In! said...

"but i'd get possesion of the kids, cuz iz love the kids"


kids?

Pop It In! said...

cmep is preggo, congrats? Is it yours or the dude you found her naked in bed with?

Steve said...

per wiki

"When the New York Mets placed Bonilla on unconditional waivers in 2000, they agreed to pay out the remainder of his contract by deferring the remaining $5.9 million. Instead of paying him upfront for that money they came to an agreement where the Mets would pay him 25 equal payments of $1,193,248.20 every July 1 from 2011 until 2035. He spent the 2000 season playing for the Atlanta Braves. Although that seems like a large amount of money, the present value of those payments at an interest rate of 8% is $5.9 million."

i don't know all (any of) the bball salary rules, but why didn't they just cut him a check?

hell, they would have come out cheaper getting a loan from the bank if they didn't have the cash.

El Padrino said...

"LP is their mathematician"

in actual terms you would be indifferent than having 5.9MM in 2000 vs. the 1.1MM yearly for 25 years

inflation

if any of YOU knew math you can figure it out

i'll never tell (rip britney)

Steve said...

"but i'd get possesion of the kids"


good luck with that

El Padrino said...

"cmep is preggo, congrats? Is it yours or the dude you found her naked in bed with?"

negative

I'm not a harASSer said...

did you guys here that apple lost an iphone?

Pop It In! said...

I'm awful at economics. Splain to me how giving Bonilla $30 million is the same as giving him $5.9 million

ns

Spaceman Spiff said...

"if i fount her naked with another dude in my house i would

but i'd get possesion of the kids, cuz iz love the kids"

how would you get possession when you'd be in jail

Steve said...

"in actual terms you would be indifferent than having 5.9MM in 2000 vs. the 1.1MM yearly for 25 years

inflation"

RA,R?

Spaceman Spiff said...

"was this linked? some fool is linking it again"

*fized

I'm not a harASSer said...

present value of money

with interest and no payments by 2011, they owe him almost 15MM

spreading it out as an annuity makes the repayment 25M

I'm not a harASSer said...

so basically what the Mets think is that they can take that 5.9M and invest it in something that will grow more than 8% per year over the following 11 years

I'm not a harASSer said...

like carlos beltran (s)

Meiz said...

It was Cliff Lee

I'm not a harASSer said...

so if they bought a high yield bond (say 10% coupon rate) they would actually make money because the 5.9M would be worth more by 2025, than what they pay Bonilla.

El Padrino said...

"I'm awful at economics. Splain to me how giving Bonilla $30 million is the same as giving him $5.9 million

ns"

in short, due to inflation the 6MM in 2000 is the same as the 25MM over the course of 25 years

also the mets probably just bought an some investment vehicle that they'll just pay him with, like an annuity

its why lottery officials always like when you choose payments over lump sum, the only smart thing bonilla did was gtee himself money after playing career

I'm not a harASSer said...

so by doing this, they actually make money



it's one of the first things you learn in finance, you'd rather have the lump sum of money today than have an annuity that pays you over a period of time, even if the annuity comes out higher (as long as you can invest at a higher interest rate than the annuity pays)

Steve said...

"so if they bought a high yield bond (say 10% coupon rate) they would actually make money because the 5.9M would be worth more by 2025"


fair enough. but couldn't they get a loan from the bank at a much cheaper rate?

I'm not a harASSer said...

its counterintuitive

but that's how people get rich on wallstreet, by being smarter than avg folks

El Padrino said...

blue is smat

El Padrino said...

twitter meiz?

my crackberry is in repairs, actually i'm getting a new one delivered today it was broked*

I'm not a harASSer said...

"fair enough. but couldn't they get a loan from the bank at a much cheaper rate?"

they have the cash, they don't need a loan.

they're either paying it to Bonilla, or investing it and earning interest.

El Padrino said...

but that's how people get rich on wallstreet, by being smarter than avg folks

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I'm not a harASSer said...

what bonilla did was smart on his part too because truth be, he'd probably have wasted that 5.9M by now on hookers and cocaine and would be hanging out with lenny dykstra in the welfare line.

his agent obviously knew that Bobby wouldn't invest the money

I'm not a harASSer said...

tmft

I'm not a harASSer said...

when you have large amounts of cash like that, interest becomes really important

like a home loan, 30 year loan you typically pay for the home twice.

El Padrino said...

that's why i'm waiting til i got cash to buy a home

det

El Padrino said...

last comment was s and a little ns

I'm not a harASSer said...

my kitchen better have enough room to make chili

El Padrino said...

i'll be renting for like 15 years if that were the case

Steve said...

"they have the cash, they don't need a loan."


right. i mean what's stopping me from taking a loan out from the bank (smaller scale of course) and doing the same thing. can you only get those large returns from large investments. like i couldn't buy a bond for 15k and get 10% could i?

El Padrino said...

"what bonilla did was smart on his part too because truth be, he'd probably have wasted that 5.9M by now on hookers and cocaine"

exactly my point, it's a solid deal for both parties

I'm not a harASSer said...

you could, no problem

the issue is that you'd probably have to service the debt, meaning make payments to the bank along the way to repay the loan

El Padrino said...

"like i couldn't buy a bond for 15k and get 10% could i?"

if you buy a bond that matures 25 years from now maybe

depends, there are all kinds of fixed income products out there that people dont know anything about

I'm not a harASSer said...

that's what's odd about this situation, they didn't have to make any kind of payments to Bonilla for using his money for 10 years.

El Padrino said...

the bond interest returns might now cover your min payment back to the bank though

Meiz said...

"twitter meiz?"


John Heyman mentioned it. Now they're saying its an NL pitcher.

I'm not a harASSer said...

10% is a pretty high rate right now...

a lot of times to get a high return you have to invest more $$$...also the higher the rate, the riskier the investment, meaning there's a chance the bondholder might not pay you back in 20 years because they spent all their money on hookers and cocaine

Meiz said...

"RT @denverpost: BREAKING: Colorado Rockies president Keli McGregor has been found dead in Salt Lake City. http://dpo.st/ds5pPx"

I'm not a harASSer said...

"the bond interest returns might now cover your min payment back to the bank though"

yep, but then you can't compound the interest so you won't make as much money.

I'm not a harASSer said...

the president of the rockies was a chick?

El Padrino said...

bondholders i think get paid first in a bankruptcy situation or 2nd

preferred stockholders get theirs first than bondholders

El Padrino said...

stock holders get shit

I'm not a harASSer said...

it all comes back to cocaine and hookers

Steve said...

"a lot of times to get a high return you have to invest more $$$...also the higher the rate, the riskier the investment, meaning there's a chance the bondholder might not pay you back in 20 years because they spent all their money on hookers and cocaine"

right, plus what would 15k return in 20 years? probably not enough to make worth the trouble.

i'd rather spend it on hookers and cocaine now.

I'm not a harASSer said...

well, 15K invested at 8% for 20 years compounded annually yields 75K

but remember 75K in 20 years won't be like having 75K today because of inflation..it would be more like having 15K

I'm not a harASSer said...

i'd like to com-pound her anussly

Steve said...

glorious

NSFW

Pop It In! said...

"so if they bought a high yield bond (say 10% coupon rate) they would actually make money because the 5.9M would be worth more by 2025, than what they pay Bonilla."

Thanks blue. LP, you suck as an educator

Pop It In! said...

"in short, due to inflation the 6MM in 2000 is the same as the 25MM over the course of 25 years"

Yeah, thanks captain obvious. That doesn't tell me anything, though

Pop It In! said...

"it's one of the first things you learn in finance, you'd rather have the lump sum of money today than have an annuity that pays you over a period of time, even if the annuity comes out higher (as long as you can invest at a higher interest rate than the annuity pays)"

Good to know, thanks. Finance was my least favorite topic

I'm not a harASSer said...

finance sucks

tem said...

"And 13 of his 14 interceptions came in the first five games, including 5 picks in one game. This indicates that Paulus is a quick learner."

i think it shows that they started to run the ball more and not rely on paulus to throw the ball.

Pop It In! said...

BGLP: Daddy, how do I add 2 + 2


LP: Long story short, it equals 4

Steve said...

"paulus"


so do ya'll think a team will pick him up?

Pop It In! said...

"so do ya'll think a team will pick him up?"

no

Pop It In! said...

"the president of the rockies was a chick?"

McGregor, the team's president since 2001, had been with the Rockies front office since 1993, when he started as senior director of operations. He was promoted to senior vice president in 1996 and executive vice president in 1998.

Steve said...

"no"

"BGLP: Daddy, how do I add 2 + 2


LP: Long story short, it equals 4"



^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Pop It In! said...

NFL should make the final 3 weeks of the season division only games

tem said...

i think a team will sign him as an undrafted FA.

he'll get to do some shit work during camp and get cut.

El Padrino said...

"the president of the rockies was a chick?"

finkle was eihorn

El Padrino said...

*einhorn

and einhorn was finkle

El Padrino said...

"Yeah, thanks captain obvious. That doesn't tell me anything, though"

wadr, i was trying to dumb it down

sort of like the tech guy did to me a few days ago

Pop It In! said...

hilarity

tem said...

keith the pirates swept the reds?

you should just quit on the reds now.

Pop It In! said...

"wadr, i was trying to dumb it down"

It worked

Pop It In! said...

"keith the pirates swept the reds?

you should just quit on the reds now."


Baseball season is over in my opinion

/LP

El Padrino said...

Baseball season is over in my opinion

/LP

IKE!

El Padrino said...

keef can i be your stockbroker

make you rich son

El Padrino said...

meiz you too, just give me whatever is in your credit union account

El Padrino said...

Stocks and Sports, LLC

gonna make it happen

El Padrino said...

AJA sports are alot easier to predict than the market

El Padrino said...

i love chocolate joya jelly rings

El Padrino said...

aitch if you dont pay me before the baseball season is over you will be banned from LOA for life

El Padrino said...

that's LOV

over

El Padrino said...

dont make me do it
i dont want to

tem said...

from LOA?

tem said...

nevermind

tem said...

"keef can i be your stockbroker"

don't you have a noncompete with your company?

don't you need to pass the series 7?

I'm not a harASSer said...

lordz of assholes

I'm not a harASSer said...

non-competes aren't binding unless you have some really cool insider info or trade secrets

I'm not a harASSer said...

well, guess it depends on the state. some states they might be

tem said...

i see.

I'm not a harASSer said...

states like temhio

El Padrino said...

"don't you need to pass the series 7?"

legally yes

i'm just saying go on etrade create and account and let me run it

Steve said...

"non-competes aren't binding"


i've signed many. filed and forgotten.

Steve said...

anybody ever have BBQ David Sunflower Seeds?

I wish i could get my hands on that seasoning.

Steve said...

"make you rich son"

why don't you make yourself rich?

Steve said...

"legally yes"


so if you can't legally trade, then what excatly is it that you do?

El Padrino said...

"why don't you make yourself rich?"

no capital

El Padrino said...

"so if you can't legally trade, then what excatly is it that you do?"

hello mcfly

you start an etrade account i just make the decisions for you

Steve said...

"hello mcfly"

i meant at your job.

Meiz said...

"meiz you too, just give me whatever is in your credit union account"


How will I pay my bills?

El Padrino said...

"i meant at your job."

oh you want to know what I do
hahaha

El Padrino said...

I am the margin guy for hedge funds and other institutional banks.

basically I assess risk, apply haircuts and facilitate stock and money transfers

El Padrino said...

*cue a barber joke

El Padrino said...

"How will I pay my bills?"

give me the excess

El Padrino said...

margin call gentleman

El Padrino said...

act as if meiz

El Padrino said...

the only passing is done by quarterbacks and i dont see a number on the back of your shirt meiz

Todd Packer said...

"IKE!"

looks good so far

Meiz said...

"give me the excess"


I have no excess money. None. Zero.

El Padrino said...

Woe

El Padrino said...

women are nuts

Todd Packer said...

got a check for $24,000 from my insurance company yesterday.... i asked cmtp if we could put it toward funding a "sort-of-picnic type thing".... got big ::stank face::

Steve said...

"give me the excess"


EP's plotting ways to get his CC debt down.

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