Thursday, April 29, 2010

Lazy dogs

"A new report from UK's Daily Mirror claims Tiger Woods has enumerated the exact number of women he cheated with. The number is... wait for it... 121."

That's alot of fucking. Like alot of fucking. Tem should have filed a patent for "The Angry Tiger".
Look! Hockey is cool again! The playoffs! Is Barry Melrose serious with those long dracula suit coats? The hair is hilarity in itself but does he have to top it off with the fashion statement? I bet he crushes pussy though.

The Hawks are not as good as we thought they were.

Rap of the day:

"I'd rather turn this club into a bar room brawl," Eminem "sings" in his latest offering, Recovery. "Get as rowdy as Roethlisberger in a bathroom stall."

Time 100 list. I enjoy this yearly list more than any other one. Don't know why.

193 comments:

blue said...

great post freak

blue said...

meiz, i need my name/pic

Steve said...

121

i thought it would have been higher

Beth said...

"121"

I don't know, this seems made up to me. Would a guy continue to keep track of #'s when they get that high?

(Like anyone here would know...)

Beth said...

I mean I know I quit counting once I reached triple digits.

s

Steve said...

agreed beth.

El Padrino said...

tiger is not your normal guy though

he is a huge dick, so yeah i can see him counting bedded women

blue said...

i've always counted


gotta know your numbers

blue said...

but then counting to 1 is not very hard (s)

Meiz said...

"meiz, i need my name/pic"


What is this for?

El Padrino said...

i mean i counted but i married young, it's all on one hand

Steve said...

i stopped counting a long time ago. not that i'm some sort of stud but 10-15 years of sexy time adds up.

and yes, i know masturbation doesn't count.

blue said...

"What is this for?"

nuggets winning

blue said...

steve carrell is leaving the office after next year?

wft?

Beth said...

"i stopped counting a long time ago. not that i'm some sort of stud but 10-15 years of sexy time adds up"

Plus mentally challenged women have a harder time saying no to where you can understand it.


(I love making the Steve/helmet jokes.)

El Padrino said...

"Man stabs 28 China kindergartners"

cmon

El Padrino said...

classic power play, they'll pay him to stay

Steve said...

"Plus mentally challenged women have a harder time saying no to where you can understand it."


not only that, but they're up for anything. you just have to know where to place the candy.

Beth said...

"not only that, but they're up for anything. you just have to know where to place the candy"

No, you're getting confused, that's dogs and peanut butter.

El Padrino said...

oh no

Meiz said...

"No, you're getting confused, that's dogs and peanut butter."


Eh. Dogs, retards, what's the difference at this point?

Beth said...

"oh no"

Apolo?

Meiz said...

I can't come up with a name/pic for blue.

blue said...

retard sex doesn't sound enticing

blue said...

ratard sex*


sorry

blue said...

"I can't come up with a name/pic for blue."

ok

Beth said...

"I can't come up with a name/pic for blue"

You can always go with something like Tebow is our savior

I know it's not great but better than nothing.

blue said...

people in Denver are getting into the Tebow thing.



how did jacksonville (a team that needs to sell tickets) not take him? mind bottling

blue said...

the proshop at Dove Valley (broncos HQ) sold out of Tebow jerseys in like an hour yesterday

blue said...

personally, i'm just going to take my B-Marsh jersey and tape Tebow over the name

Spaceman Spiff said...

"in spiff's defense it was initially reported he'd miss the year"

DD

tem said...

"retard sex doesn't sound enticing"

some chick at Big Lots in town fucked a retard.

it made the news because they were thinking of charging her with rape.

she did it because she wanted to know what it was like to fuck a tard.

they caught her because where they did it had security cameras.

tem said...

she said the retard fucking was disappointing. he didn't know what he was doing.

tem said...

"how did jacksonville (a team that needs to sell tickets) not take him? mind bottling"

long term thinking.

they could sell a lot of tickets for 1 or 2 years then the fans would turn on them when they figure out tebow sucks.

then they'd never sell a ticket again.

at least this way they can build a winning team.

tem said...

personally, i'm just going to take my B-Marsh jersey and tape Tesus over the name*


*fixed

Meiz said...

If I had the magical excess, I'd pitch in to get Blue a Tesus jersey

Beth said...

"she did it because she wanted to know what it was like to fuck a tard."

You know I've been curious about a lot of things in my life but this has never been one of them.

wadr steve

blue said...

""in spiff's defense it was initially reported he'd miss the year""

after further review...ruling is confirmed...spiff mortensen stands

blue said...

"at least this way they can build a winning team"


i think the fans would have appreciated tebow more than aoaiaoasli (DT from CAL that should have been a late 2nd round pick)

blue said...

so what tem is saying is that jacksonville ownership wants to move the team

Meiz said...

Suite. Creating the Bucks 7 Nation Army ringtone.

Meiz said...

This place rocks the bells on thursdays

blue said...

brandon jennings deserves ROY

El Padrino said...

mad busy yo

ETD option requirements are painful

El Padrino said...

*ETF

Steve said...

Boobs at Bard


very NSFW

tem said...

"so what tem is saying is that jacksonville ownership wants to move the team"

^^

tem said...

yesterday big boss tolt tem "jesus, you are ruining my reputation"


so today is filled with tem getting yelled at more.

tem said...

i told the big boss i am not jesus, but he didn't want to hear it.

s

blue said...

good link steve

blue said...

ep will be interested in the bardcocksoncampus blog

real blog (ns)

El Padrino said...

what did tem do to deserve a lashing?

tem said...

nothing really.

a project is taking longer than he had hoped.

blue said...

"what did tem do to deserve a lashing?"

cocaine and hookers

tem said...

he fired a guy in march/april and i took over the project.

the project was already behind schedule, but he didn't know how far behind.

so i delivered the bad news.

he is just shooting the messanger. he'll get over it. or just forget about it.

blue said...

"yesterday big boss tolt tem "jesus, you are ruining my reputation""


tem: "quit cheating on your wife then"

tem said...

messanger ihisiirl

tem said...

"tem: "quit cheating on your wife then""

big boss doesn't do that.

other people do, but not the big bosses here.

tem said...

our land guys do.

and construction guys.

Meiz said...

"what did tem do to deserve a lashing?"


This usually happens when someone is too good at their job, so it makes the boss look bad.

blue said...

"yesterday big boss tolt tem "jesus, you are ruining my reputation""

tem: you're reputation wasn't very good to begin with really

Meiz said...

Damn. I was wrong.

Was trying to big up Tem

blue said...

you're is for the messanger

blue said...

is that why meiz is always getting a lashing?

tem said...

tem's first response was almost "no, you're doing a good enough job at that on your own"

but tem needs a paycheck so he didn't say that.

blue said...

O:FC?

tem said...

"This usually happens when someone is too good at their job, so it makes the boss look bad."

he had pent up anger because of this.

tem said...

if they had done triple A teams the pirates would have been on the list.

blue said...

"The San Francisco Giants and Oakland Athletics were the most popular teams among fans, according to Neilsen's study."

gay people have very little hate

Steve said...

"a project is taking longer than he had hoped."


well, your review has taken longer than you would have hoped. sounds about even to me.

tem said...

now that giants don't have b. bonds nobody hates them.

tem said...

"well, your review has taken longer than you would have hoped. sounds about even to me."

big boss is like 75+ yrs old. so he doesn't really know what is going on.

he yells at people all the time. just not usually something like "you are ruining my repuation."

usually it is "when is matlock on? did you tape matlock?" or "why do we have so many women working here?" or "what's that mexican doing inside?"

Steve said...

usually it is "when is matlock on? did you tape matlock?" or "why do we have so many women working here?" or "what's that mexican doing inside?"


or "When is my good old friend TP getting here?"

Meiz said...

I wish I could go to the game tomorrow

tem said...

we told him TP died.

had a fake funeral and everything.

we had to.

it was always "where is TP?, is TP gonna be there?" "you aren't TP" "have TP take care of this"

so now he thinks TP is dead. he wept at the funeral.

tem said...

i also wish meiz could go to the game.

blue said...

if only meiz were one of the bogut crazies

tem said...

ahiik

Spaceman Spiff said...

"LeBron James of Cleveland Cavaliers has elbow strain, bone bruise, still exepcted to play"

suite, the celtics will beat that arm up

El Padrino said...

shitty day

tem said...

his arm will be fine by saturday.

tem said...

and the refs will call a foul if the celts even look at his arm

Meiz said...

"if only meiz were one of the bogut crazies"


Hopefully next year

blue said...

then it won't be AHIIK

tem said...

that is true

tem said...

i'm going to make myself scarce around the office for awhile.

might leave and go shopping.

Meiz said...

Home time

El Padrino said...

some obstacle course

tem said...

nevermind big boss is offsite until 3. i'll make myself scare around 2:40 then.

El Padrino said...

ants are aliens and can take over the world one day

El Padrino said...

"He was 0-3 this season with a 20.52 ERA before the injury."

stellar

El Padrino said...

that was jason marquis

El Padrino said...

how are the Indians the most hated team?

hate = pity now?

El Padrino said...

mickey rourke is loving this new found attention

Keef said...

wall

El Padrino said...

pretty much all day

Steve said...

pretty cool

Keef said...

LP

El Padrino said...

thanks but it doesnt work

when i click for available seats says

this promotion is not for sale

Beth said...

Well once you get to the page to where you can choose the game, it says they don't go on sale til May 4th.

Meiz said...

Fuck blogger

Keef said...

"Well once you get to the page to where you can choose the game, it says they don't go on sale til May 4th."

Beth read it

Keef said...

That's a good day, too

Meiz said...

"That's a good day, too"


HAPPY STAR WARS DAY, KEITH!

Keef said...

may the fourth be with you

El Padrino said...

cantankerous


like that word

blue said...

you would

Keef said...

"cantankerous


like that word"


Because it kind of sounds like crank?

El Padrino said...

no just like it

i also like fungible

dropped that on a couple of people today

blue said...

fungible: like a mushroom or other type of fungus

El Padrino said...

yeah not that

Steve said...

EXCLUSIVE: U.N. Elects Iran to Commission on Women's Rights


and then last friday we have: Iran: Women’s Rights Activists Get Suspended Lashing Sentences


nice! way to go UN!

tem said...

"cantankerous


like that word"

SAS you spelt it right

blue said...

he lookt it up on wiki

blue said...

fuck tyreke evans

Keef said...

My pleasure!

/mize

Spaceman Spiff said...

kolb just got 12 mil guaranteed, WFT, did he get drafted again

Meiz said...

"fuck tyreke evans"


Jennings could have gotten better numbers on a rat ass team like Sacramento

Keef said...

says you

Meiz said...

Fucking right, says me

Meiz said...

Kod,

GOMEZ

blue said...

jennings would have looked good in a knicks jersey

blue said...

and he could have spoke italian with galinari

Meiz said...

"jennings would have looked good in a knicks jersey"


NO

Meiz said...

Too bad the Knicks were too dumb & didn't land him

blue said...

they can sign him in 4 years when his rookie contract is up

blue said...

nah, they'd rather have Jordan Hill

El Padrino said...

"The march on Wall Street is on its way, with what looks like thousands of marchers and already over 800 watching the live stream online. "It's a great New York day, but it's not a great day for the working men and women of New York City," said one leader, while National People’s Action executive director George Goehl simply said, "That ain't right!"

Protesters are calling for banks to be held accountable for the economic crisis, with some bold enough to protest inside the JP Morgan building before the rally even started. Over 100 protesters allegedly handed a letter to an executive, demanded a meeting with the CEO, and chanted "Bust up! Big banks!" while being escorted out of the building. The groups will convene downtown."

what is wrong with people

El Padrino said...

"Too bad the Knicks were too dumb & didn't land him"

donnie complained there wasnt enough tape on him

ns

good scouting by the bucks

Meiz said...

I think Jennings is long for Milwaukee. Him & Bogut both know they have an incredible thing going on here.

Meiz said...

"good scouting by the bucks"


John Hammond clearly knows what the fuck he's doing

El Padrino said...

i mean it's not like he lit up the euroleague

El Padrino said...

wow meiz is knee deep in the kool aid

Spaceman Spiff said...

incredible is a reach

El Padrino said...

he's euphoric spiff

let him live, the crash will be awesome

Meiz said...

"incredible is a reach"


Not really. They really embrace the fans & the fans embrace them. Its a weird dynamic.

Spaceman Spiff said...

oh, i thought you meant incredible thing as in bball

El Padrino said...

you sound incredibly gay right now

Meiz said...

And yes, I think they can defeat Orlando.


There. I said it.

El Padrino said...

whoa whoa

slow down dewey

Meiz said...

Now if you'll excuse me for a minute, I'm gonna go pay my cable bill.

Meiz said...

"whoa whoa

slow down dewey"


They have a fuck-ton of fouls to use on Howard's no-offense having ass.

Spaceman Spiff said...

orlando didnt even need howard last series

blue said...

"And yes, I think they can defeat Orlando."

you realize you just xinjed them and they'll now lose the next 2 to the ATL

El Padrino said...

that would be glorious

tem said...

yes, meiz just jixed the bucks.

tem said...

jixed = hisiirl

blue said...

oh, and simmons is on the fear the deer bandwagon...it's the kiss of death

El Padrino said...

disgusting

El Padrino said...

piece

blue said...

hopefully durantula can drop a bombo on the lake show tonight


hasta

kod said...

just got back from Fargo

loved the town last time I was there (1998) and seems to have held up pretty good. Didn't get to stay nearly long enough, but I did end up with a pretty good story (TMI for LOV though)

kod said...

One thing I can say is that it involves me giving a sample at the fertility clinic.

kod said...

Another funny thing about the clinic's private rooms. I figured they'd have magazines like Victora Secret or something like that (I figured they wouldn't have actual pron).

Turns out they had a video; and it was one of the most graphic porno videos I have ever seen. Like gangbanging and all kind of unpeakably filthy moments.

Meiz said...

I'm tempting fate on purpose

Keef said...

Simmons said the Bucks are in round 2 and he's gonna go to a game. Sorry, mize

Keef said...

i met a strange lady, she made me nervous
she took me in and gave me breakfast

kod said...

do you come from a land down under?

Keef said...

no I'm just a man at work

Keef said...

Good to see an actual lack of fair weather Bucks fans. I'm rather surprised by that. We don't want ya on the bandwagon.


Did you ever talk about them before the 2nd half of this season, mize?

Meiz said...

"Did you ever talk about them before the 2nd half of this season, mize?"


Yes, you fuckbag.

Keef said...

Oh, right. When you golfed with GK and the boys

wHeasel said...

I know I'm way behind on this, but I'm watching Community for the first time. This is some funny shit.

El Padrino said...

nothing like rubbing one out then shotgunning a beer

El Padrino said...

so relaxing

El Padrino said...

"Turns out they had a video; and it was one of the most graphic porno videos I have ever seen. Like gangbanging and all kind of unpeakably filthy moments."

how i roll

Meiz said...

Now that's an entrance

El Padrino said...

mavs have 8 points in the 1st quattro

El Padrino said...

i should eat dinner

Meiz said...

It sounds like there's hockey going on outside.

Either way, I'm bringing in my laundry & going back out on a lengthy way.

El Padrino said...

cmep is mad, i called her a smartass

couching it tonight

El Padrino said...

she says that's the first time i cursed at her

i told her ass is not a curse

El Padrino said...

tell me im right

El Padrino said...

you know in europe they drink beer warm?

El Padrino said...

i would love a warm beer from aitch right now

Meiz said...

you're right, and there is no way that was the 1st time you cussed at her. None.

kod said...

This is some funny shit.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

-I've been watching all season; great show

Spaceman Spiff said...

"she says that's the first time i cursed at her"

hope you responded with YS, C?

El Padrino said...

dallas sucks

El Padrino said...

"hope you responded with YS, C?"

she means name calling, i've cursed towards? her but never called her a curse

ns

El Padrino said...

anyway she fell asleep so i'm sleeping in my bed, she forgot to lock the door

must not be that mad

fool

Jugdish said...

I'm late to the game

30/40

Jugdish said...

15/25

isiah thompson said...

nice work today fellas

isiah thompson said...

shoulda stuck to my guns, re: spurs/mavs

isiah thompson said...

38/40

isiah thompson said...

22/25

Jugdish said...

are you blockt at work? i have been lately and the comments link has not worked either

JFreak said...

"I know I'm way behind on this, but I'm watching Community for the first time. This is some funny shit."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

isiah thompson said...

not blocked but I'm not trying to use the internets too much for non-work stuff during my first few weeks.

isiah thompson said...

suns/spurs again


sick

Keef said...

"30/40"


38/40

Keef said...

"15/25"

19/25

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