Friday, March 05, 2010

Brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack

Cromartie is a Jet. Panthers cut Delhomme. He was terrible. Clears the way for Vick. John Clayton is excited about the uncapped year. Shut up. No way footyball goes on strike. You ever wonder why the sea foams? Is it the salt? March Madness is soon. I can go to Knicks/Nets tomorrow if I want but I think I'd rather get donkey punched by a gorilla. You guys know I lost my virginity on a bean bag in a walk in closet inside a mansion when I was 15 right. Blood everywhere. WE GOT A BLEEDER! Awkward. Don't you hate when you forget to charge your phone and you leave it on all night. Baseball is actually happening again. Tickle me pink. CMK doing a running diary of the Oscars. Now THAT, would be gold. Oscar odds if you care : Over/Under 45 seconds for Meryl Streep's acceptance speech. Looks like Hurt Locker and Avatar will win Best Pic. I don't think I've seen any Oscar nominated film this year. How sad. The snooze button was abused this morning. I called CMEP cantankerous last night. I got a ::merrimans:: on that one. Good times. Car insurance sucks. Especially in NYC. Rates too high. Cost me more. So post 1000 next week huh? Wow. What will I do. The pressure is mounting. I want some lard bread right now.

694 comments:

1 – 200 of 694   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

1 word for you EP: Ritalin.

blue said...

"I lost my virginity on a bean bag in a walk in closet inside a mansion when I was 15 right. Blood everywhere. WE GOT A BLEEDER! Awkward."

it hurt your vagina?

blue said...

craptastic

El Pad said...

hi

El Pad said...

no her vagina

you would have thought i shot her

El Pad said...

cromartie has like 7 kids

colov i know but might have 12

Beth said...

"you would have thought i shot her"

Strange, all that from just a little pinprick too...


(The joke was there, I had to go for it. I mean since I'm smarmy and all.)

El Pad said...

it's fine beth

El Pad said...

hymin

Beth said...

"hymin"

Thanks for clarifying that.

Beth said...

So it looks like this summer I may be a LOV traitor - fmbeth and I are talking about a week spent visiting Boston and Caput Mundi.

El Pad said...

"So it looks like this summer I may be a LOV traitor - fmbeth and I are talking about a week spent visiting Boston and Caput Mundi."

your better off going just to Caput Mundi, nothing to see in boston except Cheers

blue said...

"no her vagina"

you didn't specify that she was a wirgin too

Beth said...

"your better off going just to Caput Mundi, nothing to see in boston except Cheers"

Something tells me H will disagree with that.

El Pad said...

aitch is dead

El Pad said...

beth dont underestimate the powers of O:FB, would you want to be there if a unprecedented natural disaster occurs within boston?

El Pad said...

plus georgia peaches and baked beans dont match

Beth said...

I think you have forgotten there's also a O:FNY.

I realize the risks I'm taking with this potential trip.

El Pad said...

"I think you have forgotten there's also a O:FNY."

no there isn't

El Pad said...

at least non i am aware of

there is a O:FMESS but not NY

El Pad said...

DC Area schools are the worse, the 8th graders are the worse

El Pad said...

they are like in the 30 percentile which is way below the national average

tem said...

there is an operating fuck NY

El Pad said...

i dont recall

El Pad said...

anyone following the air traffic controller story with the kids clearing pilots to land and take off?, it's sort of ridiculous, even the pilots feel bad for the guy

Beth said...

"i dont recall"

Shocking.

s

blue said...

O:FNY...pretty much started 9/11/2001

blue said...

O:FNY...pretty much started 9/11/2001

El Pad said...

Orel Hershiser has horse teeth

blue said...

"anyone following the air traffic controller story with the kids clearing pilots to land and take off?, it's sort of ridiculous, even the pilots feel bad for the guy"


This is new news...i've nerve heard of this story...shocking





























(s)

El Pad said...

really blue, really

that O:FUSA not O:FNY

Beth said...

"anyone following the air traffic controller story with the kids clearing pilots to land and take off?, it's sort of ridiculous, even the pilots feel bad for the guy"

Yeah, it's ridiculous. It's not like the guy left his kids there while he went out for coffee or something. People need to lighten up a little.

El Pad said...

i agree elizabeth

El Pad said...

btw i have a cousin named Eliza and Beth

they are sisters

unrelated

El Pad said...

i mean they are related but the comment itself is unrelated

you know?

El Pad said...

wanna hear a williamsburg store owner whine about Starbucks pushing there way into the area?

no?

fuck you

I talked with the landlord two weeks ago. He asked me if I wanted to stay and I said of course! Right now I'm paying $7,300 a month. He told me, okay, I'll give you a break and only raise the rent to $14,500 a month. We can't afford that, but he says that's what Starbucks can pay. Right now I have to borrow money from my other store to cover the rent on this one! You can't squeeze blood from a rock. He said I had until this Tuesday to decide. That day came and went, and then I heard one of his sons told the owner of the cell phone store down the street, "The deal is done. You should have expected this. It's Williamsburg, you know."
Well, we're not going to be raped. It's like organized crime. Our landlord, Yehuda Backer, essentially said, "You've been here a long time, you've always payed your rent on time, and for that we're going to double your rent." When we moved in here in 2001 it was a dead man's zone. Everybody wanted North 7th Street, as they still do, but nobody wanted to move in here; it was just a big empty warehouse. We were the first to move in, after that came King's Pharmacy and Millennium Market. Now Duane Reade is going to open across the street from the pharmacy, and I'm scared for them! I know the owners, I know their families. They're from around here, I'm from Bensonhurst. Starbucks isn't from here.

El Pad said...

back story

there are no Starbucks in Williamsburg and 9 years ago the neighborhood successfully blocked them from putting a store there

fast forward and this is happening

not that i care but i do find it interesting how corp franchises and such can easily get whatever they want simply based on how much more money they can make for a landlord

El Pad said...

die gook

(not you spiff)

blue said...

"that O:FUSA not O:FNY"

agree to disagree

blue said...

maybe just delete that comment EP

El Pad said...

Lundqvist made 50 saves last night

and gave up 5 goals

great D
S

El Pad said...

Antrel Rolle is here

El Pad said...

why is sinorice moss still on the team?

blue said...

"Antrel Rolle is here"

in your office?

blue said...

or posting on LoV?

El Pad said...

Schoop's Hamburgers
215 Ridge Road, Munster IN 46321


Freak, place looks off the chain son.

El Pad said...

"in your office?"

in nyc

you are so literal today blue

El Pad said...

are you gonna do a new cribs?

i want one of the Pods too

El Pad said...

also what hood are you in now?

blue said...

you want me to take a picture of all my shit in the pod?

blue said...

still gonna be in the same town

new house won't be done for a few months. i'll do a cribs when it's finished.

El Pad said...

what company is building it and will you have a hot tub time machine?

El Pad said...

also, will you have a home office with cardboard people that you can fire whenever you want?

El Pad said...

are you building a Rob Dyrdek Warehouse behind your house?

El Pad said...

will you have a pond with Koi fish?

El Pad said...

any chance of a Mc Donald's in the basement like Richie Rich?

El Pad said...

one more thing, grand piano in the foyer or a cylinder aquarium?

El Pad said...

please advice

El Pad said...

hope this aint track houses, dont you want some creative input in this fucker since it's brand new

pimp your ride son

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Looks like Hurt Locker and Avatar will win Best Pic."


not gonna happen, only 1 will win

isiah thompson said...

DRUG DEALIN MUUUUSIC!!!

El Pad said...

again with the literal stuff

El Pad said...

zeke!

isiah thompson said...

Skins lookin at Chad Clifton.


please allah, don't let this mean they'll actually draft Clausen.

isiah thompson said...

O LET DOOOOO IT!!!!
O LET DOOOOO IT!!!!

isiah thompson said...

zeke!

*pops collar*

*goose steppin*


ayyyyyeeeeeeaaayeeeeee

El Pad said...

damn zeke kilt lov

El Pad said...

zeekwall

blue said...

we got a lot of input, but no mcdonalds in the basement.

isiah thompson said...

negro please

isiah thompson said...

bleu, do the wipers like their new quarters?

Spaceman Spiff said...

"please allah, don't let this mean they'll actually draft Clausen."

another tackle visiting today, looks like QB at #4, but i thought it was gonna be bradford

tem said...

"they are sisters

unrelated"

that isn't even possible in west virginia.

isiah thompson said...

gonna try to make some fried chicken tonight instead of tacos.

I'm gonna pick up a 2 liter of grape soda on the way home tonight.


ns

Spaceman Spiff said...

new staff not protecting this house, im fine with that

tem said...

"i mean they are related but the comment itself is unrelated

you know?"

OIC

isiah thompson said...

bradford will go #1

Spaceman Spiff said...

"gonna try to make some fried chicken tonight instead of tacos."

if it isnt broke...

tem said...

"not that i care but i do find it interesting how corp franchises and such can easily get whatever they want simply based on how much more money they can make for a landlord"

that's how business works.

isiah thompson said...

Mawae considering skins.

they just inked raybach for 3 years


wft

isiah thompson said...

if it isnt broke...


word life, this has disaster written all over it.

isiah thompson said...

Panthers cut Delhomme. He was terrible.




fool, just lost a bet because you said Jake was legit.

don't even trip

tem said...

TB should end up with the safety from Tenn or one of the big DTs.

i'm ok with that.

if they draft dez bryant or a QB i'll go apeshit.

isiah thompson said...

fool, just lost a bet because you said Jake was legit.



this might, or might not have been engrish*

tem said...

they cut him, they take a cap hit but do they save $$$?

isiah thompson said...

"DMN: The Bears are the new Redskins"


Skins can't win for losing.

isiah thompson said...

Gints* sign Jake to replace Eli



wow

isiah thompson said...

CHARLOTTE, N.C. -- Carolina general manager Marty Hurney calls it the toughest decision he ever made. Panthers coach John Fox couldn't fight off tears while answering questions.



R JF, R?

tem said...

maybe they were tears of joy?

tem said...

oh, they still gotta pay him real cash...damn.

El Pad said...

"gonna try to make some fried chicken tonight instead of tacos."

fried chicken is hard

El Pad said...

bradford will go #1

bet

isiah thompson said...

bet

ok, terms?

isiah thompson said...

fried chicken is hard

is it? how so, shit seems easy enough, looks like you just gotta make sure the oil in the pan isn't too hot and you cook it long enough?

isiah thompson said...

re: that kid doing the air traffic control shit


shit ain't suite*. dood was trying to show off his kid, leave the kid at home mayne, I'd Bleu that guy with a quickness.

what happened if shit got serious?

El Pad said...

"is it? how so, shit seems easy enough, looks like you just gotta make sure the oil in the pan isn't too hot and you cook it long enough?"

i've tried it 3 times, it tasted good but it never came out as crispy as i wanted and it's a goddamm mess

El Pad said...

you got a thermometer for the earl*?

El Pad said...

is it sitting in some buttermilk right now?

El Pad said...

"what happened if shit got serious?"

the guy was right there, it's like putting the kid on your lap in the parking lot while the car is in park

El Pad said...

"ok, terms?"

2 day standard

Spaceman Spiff said...

3 days is standard

isiah thompson said...

"you got a thermometer for the earl*?"


I'm gonna use shortening and I was gonna go ghetto style and use a meat thermometer.


"is it sitting in some buttermilk right now?"

si

isiah thompson said...

3 days is standard


yeah that was hilarity


EP, ymsoab!

isiah thompson said...

bradford going #1:

I say yes, yous* say no.

3 days


lock it up

El Pad said...

by standard i mean, name/pic change

isiah thompson said...

i've tried it 3 times, it tasted good but it never came out as crispy as i wanted and it's a goddamm mess


you just use AP flour or something else

El Pad said...

locked up

Spaceman Spiff said...

season the flour

isiah thompson said...

the guy was right there, it's like putting the kid on your lap in the parking lot while the car is in park



for some professions bringing your kid to work isn't a big deal but air traffic control? what's next, the mook working the x-ray machine lets their snot nosed brat work the security line?

isiah thompson said...

season the flour


I'm going to season the shicken* and flour

blue said...

here's the best fried chicken recipe.



go to KFC, order an 8 pc bucket..extra crispy...eat..enjoy


your* welcome

isiah thompson said...

Gints sign LDT

isiah thompson said...

go to KFC, order an 8 pc bucket..extra crispy...eat..enjoy


fo real dough.


not a fan of extra crispy though.

El Pad said...

"you just use AP flour or something else"

flour right

isiah thompson said...

where are all the big name signings to start free agency?

wft

El Pad said...

here's the thing zeke

to me, fried chicken just is best when bought

like i said it taste good, but never better than one's i've had elsewhere

not sure the reason

El Pad said...

"where are all the big name signings to start free agency?"

what kyle vandenbosch doest do it for you

El Pad said...

i want that fried chicken that they pimp down in New Orleans

Willie Mae's Scotch House

Steve said...

"go to Bojangles, order an 8 pc bucket..extra crispy...eat..enjoy"


*fixed

isiah thompson said...

to me, fried chicken just is best when bought


yeah no doubt, just trying something new.

isiah thompson said...

Philip Daniels returns to Redskins







BAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



s

isiah thompson said...

I got a wicked push in my tiger woods '08 golf swing.

Steve said...

"I got a wicked push in my tiger woods '08 golf swing."


Wii or XBox?

isiah thompson said...

360

El Pad said...

forget the article, the hipster grifter is a fine poa spiff

Meiz said...

"So it looks like this summer I may be a LOV traitor - fmbeth and I are talking about a week spent visiting Boston and Caput Mundi."


WHAT. THE. FUCK.

isiah thompson said...

Gibril Wilson on his way out in Miami


remember when EP said Wilson was grate*? Those were fun times.

El Pad said...

meiz is jealous of your travels beth

El Pad said...

dont remember saying Great.

remember saying solid/good

isiah thompson said...

El Padrino said...

your crazy, Gibrile Wilson is a top 5 safetee i nthe nfl.

September 5, 2007 1:14 PM



ball don't lie

blue said...

""go to Bojangles, order an 8 pc bucket..extra crispy...eat..enjoy""

bojangles is good...i'd take the black guys word on fried chicken anyway.

but bojangles no here

El Pad said...

"your crazy, Gibrile Wilson is a top 5 safetee i nthe nfl.

September 5, 2007 1:14 PM



ball don't lie"

didnt say great

apology accepted

watered down year in 07

El Pad said...

i bleed blue ezekiel

El Pad said...

Six people were killed when a passenger bus hit another vehicle and rolled over on the interstate south of Phoenix.

where's keef?

isiah thompson said...

i bleed blue ezekiel

yeah I made that quote up, couldn't find the real one.

isiah thompson said...

the hdh, mis-spellings and typos were a nice touch though - for authenticity purposes.

El Pad said...

gays can marry in me-hee-co now

isiah thompson said...

11 days until UM spring ball starts.


det

isiah thompson said...

gays can marry in me-hee-co now


hayzooz, do zoo take 'ector to be your mans?

El Pad said...

steve you ever been called a "Monday" ?

Meiz said...

LP, you ever been called a Herb?

El Pad said...

Yes. I have.

El Pad said...

that was a common diss back in the day

isiah thompson said...

the word is the herb is the word and I'm deep like Bob Marley!


song/artist

det

isiah thompson said...

that was a common diss back in the day

my favorite dis was calling someone lunchbox.

ns

El Pad said...

"the word is the herb is the word and I'm deep like Bob Marley!"

stop it

Scenario, Tribe

El Pad said...

my favorite dis was calling someone lunchbox.

ns

::thermos::

Meiz said...

"that was a common diss back in the day"

Interesting. I thought it was just a southern thing.

isiah thompson said...

Scenario, Tribe

Like some most stale urine!

Meiz said...

"my favorite dis was calling someone lunchbox."


My buddy has a dog named lunchbox.

tem said...

"the hdh, mis-spellings and typos were a nice touch though - for authenticity purposes."

i thought they were a bit much even for lp

Meiz said...

Hey there

tem said...

that thing must be 2000 calories.

tem said...

that thing must be 2000 calories.

tem said...

wft?

tem said...

blogger be tripping lately you

tem said...

triple post with a different time stamps...nice.

isiah thompson said...

you on point Tip?

Keef said...

goddman buses

El Pad said...

what adult, do you know, leaves the crust on the pizza?

Keef said...

Bobby V on Rome right now

Keef said...

I leave the crust on a pizza. Why would I take it off?

Keef said...

Some funny hsil crying stories from this week. She cries over anything and it's hilarity.
She was renewing her car registration online on Wednesday and it tolt* her that she had to get an emissions test this year. So she calls her mom, and her mom's like what's up? hsil says that she's trying to renew her registration, and then she starts crying. her mom says what's wrong. hsil breaks down and is like "It says I need to get an emissions test! What do I do?" Her mom gives her a ::ys, c?:: and tells her that she's annoying

El Pad said...

"I leave the crust on a pizza. Why would I take it off?"

y, sc?

i mean who leaves it, doesnt it eat it

El Pad said...

you guys need to start learning ep language this is getting ridiculous

isiah thompson said...

does hsil have daddy issues or is she just not well adjusted?

El Pad said...

so hsil is chsil too

Keef said...

Then yesterday, she went into her dad's office to do something and her mom was there, too. Her mom says "Are you gonna watch the Oscars with us on Sunday?" The Oscars is to hsil as figure skating is to aitch. It's her holy day. She starts bawling and everyone is just looking at her and laughing. She says "WTF? I have to work on Sunday night? How did I NOT KNOW that it was Oscars night" and everyone there just sat there and laughed. She couldn't stop crying

Meiz said...

"you guys need to start learning ep language this is getting ridiculous"

Maybe you need to take some middle school english classes.

Keef said...

"i mean who leaves it, doesnt it eat it"

Oh, well that's different. Yeah, that's dumb

isiah thompson said...

YO! - microphone check one, two what is this?

Keef said...

"does hsil have daddy issues or is she just not well adjusted?"

No idear. Don't think she has daddy issues. She just starts crying for no reason. She even said that she knew getting the emissions done was easy, but she couldn't not cry about it

isiah thompson said...

Maybe you need to take some olde english classes.


/freak

Keef said...

"so hsil is chsil too"


They're all c

El Pad said...

grow up meiz

isiah thompson said...

No idear. Don't think she has daddy issues. She just starts crying for no reason. She even said that she knew getting the emissions done was easy, but she couldn't not cry about it


interesting

I ♥ hsil stories.

ns

El Pad said...

Redskins interested in Rex Grossman

in you face

Keef said...

Doctors find Mets' Reyes has thyroid imbalance


ahahahahaha

isiah thompson said...

Redskins interested in Rex Grossman

in you face


I just threw up in my mouth a little.


figured they'd have to do something like this though since they cut Tom* Collins yesterday.

El Pad said...

"Doctors find Mets' Reyes has thyroid imbalance


ahahahahaha"

wouldnt that mean he's fat

and i tweeted about this almost 2 hours ago

Keef said...

"wouldnt that mean he's fat"

I'm not a doctor



"and i tweeted about this almost 2 hours ago"

Congrats

Keef said...

I'm not on twitter and I still found out about it.

DIT*

El Pad said...

"I'm not on twitter and I still found out about it.

DIT"

old news just like your face

isiah thompson said...

from webmd:

commmon symptoms of thyroid imbalances:

Fatigue and weakness
• Low basal temperature ( cold intolerance)
• Dry and coarse skin
• Hair loss
• Cold hands and feet
• Weight gain
• Failure to get the bat of your shoulder in crucial situations.


makes cents*

El Pad said...

• Failure to get the bat of your shoulder in crucial situations.

hdh

isiah thompson said...

BAM!

up in that ass two times, two times

Keef said...

• Hair loss
• Weight gain



Time to call the doc, LP

isiah thompson said...

bat of your


*tipping cap*

El Pad said...

reyes has no symptoms and feeling great, headed to ny for more tests

per heyman

isiah thompson said...

per Reyes' hymen


*fized

isiah thompson said...

circle of 9:46AM


lean back

Steve said...

"steve you ever been called a "Monday" ?"



hu?

El Pad said...

hu?

kelly

El Pad said...

i heard in bahstan they call black people monday's cuz no one likes Monday

Meiz said...

Dummy makes me want to kill people

Spaceman Spiff said...

zeke cue up the deke angry quote

Spaceman Spiff said...

bnew

isiah thompson said...

Dikembe Meiztombo said...
I'm not an angry person at all.
September 8, 2008 1:03 AM

isiah thompson said...

Dummy makes me want to kill people


KILL

KILL

KILL


da white man

isiah thompson said...

momma lickabooboowall

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