Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Littleton Sucks

So another school shooting in Littleton. Some crazy guy, his dad's name is "War Eagle" (ns). He must be a huge Auburn fan. This shooting was right down the road from Columbine...it also was the same place that a kid was shot and killed at school in 1982. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to live in Littleton. Fool me once shame on....shame on you...fool me...we can't get fooled again.

Anyway, on to other news of the wild, Tebow is working on his throwing motion...maybe if his Mom had done the right thing and aborted her pregancy when she was adviced to, we wouldn't have to have such ludicrous news reports.

I think I should learn a foreign language. Something really rare to set myself apart. I'm taking suggestions today. So far the leader in the clubhouse is Prussian. I'm also going to add to my resume "speaks english fluently".

I think they should add an event to the winter olympics for sprint nordic skiing...like a 400M cross country skiing event. That might be fun to watch..instead of watching guys go around a circle 15 times as the announcers say "we expect this to last another hour or so"...screw that. And who are the people sitting in the stands watching this, the guys come by for like 30 seconds every 10 minutes.

There are too many "runs" in bobsled. Why not just make it one or two runs. What will we find out after 4 runs that we didn't know after 2? Also, the best way to improve curling is if you could play defense, so while the sweepers are sweeping, you could body check them, or at least follow them down the ice and hurl profanities in their direction...maybe that will be in the X games.

british magazines are the best NSFW, but very awesome.

492 comments:

1 – 200 of 492   Newer›   Newest»
Jugdish said...

I'm also going to add to my resume "speaks english fluently".


good idea

Beth said...

Too bad EP can't add that to his.

blue said...

I like boobs.

i'm not even going to hide that fact anymore...i'm not ashamed anymore.


(holding right hand up) My name is Blue, and i'm a boobaholic.

Jugdish said...

i'm not even going to hide that fact anymore...i'm not ashamed anymore.


im surprised you were ashamed of that to begin with

Steve said...

"british magazines are the best"


glorious

Beth said...

"(holding right hand up) My name is Blue, and i'm a boobaholic."

No need to confess that - you're a guy and we women just assume all (straight) guys love boobs. We rely on that fact and use it to our advantage.

blue said...

it's not PC..now you have to be an ass-man, or a leg man, or like their eyes or some shit...or you're shallow

i'm going to stare at women's breasts when I talk to them. I'm going to ogle big breasted women. I'm going to choose to discriminate and hire women based on their cup size.

Steve said...

"im surprised you were ashamed of that to begin with"

cmBlue has been wearing him down over the years. Today is Blue's independence day.

tem said...

learn klingon.

Jugdish said...

blue is going to hire fat chicks with huge tits

Jugdish said...

learn klingon.




sign language

tem said...

" I'm going to choose to discriminate and hire women based on their cup size."


this could backfire. you might get a whole bunch of fat chicks with huge boobs in the office.

you need to hire (and fire) based on a cup size to waist size ratio.

tem said...

fat chicks with huge boobs i2i

Jugdish said...

you could also use the "divisible by my weight" scale

blue said...

no fat chicks

tem said...

does your company post a "no fat chicks" sign on it's door?


we have a "no firearms" sign, but not a "not fat chicks" sign. i should put up a "no fat chicks" sign.

blue said...

I have that sign in my office


I had that shirt in college..it did not go over well when I went bar hopping

Beth said...

"i'm going to stare at women's breasts when I talk to them. I'm going to ogle big breasted women. I'm going to choose to discriminate and hire women based on their cup size"

I hope your company has a good sexual harassment attorney.

Steve said...

"I hope your company has a good sexual harassment attorney with big boobs and a small waist."


*fixed

tem said...

"I hope your company has a good sexual harassment attorney."

looking is still legal.

blue said...

no where in equal opportunity employment act does it mention breast size or cup size.

i can discriminate based on that, it's true

tem said...

hooters does

I wish he was my dad said...

no where in equal opportunity employment act does it mention breast size or cup size.

i can discriminate based on that, it's true


-there's a Seinfeld reference/joke somewhere in there; jug? HELP!

tem said...

apparently rich rod was filmed "flipping off" the cameras right before the AD got up to speak.

he is rubbing his eyebrows with his middle finger up.

Jugdish said...

-there's a Seinfeld reference/joke somewhere in there; jug? HELP!



you got the A, the B, the C, and the D...that's the biggest

Jugdish said...

NCAA: RichRod, you had sex with a cheerleader.

RichRod: Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I gotta tell ya, no one ever mentioned to me that that sort of thing was frowned upon. I gotta plead ignorance on this one.

Steve said...

You Rock, Howard Stern

tem said...

having sex with cheerleaders is rarely wrong.

tem said...

male cheerleaders would be wrong.

Beth said...

"male cheerleaders would be wrong."

Not for me.

El Pad said...

rough morning

Steve said...

""male cheerleaders would be wrong."

Not for me.""


maybe not. but a female cheerleader would be a whole lot cooler.

Beth said...

Rev is bulletproof.

Jugdish said...

The suspect remains at large.


that cracked me up too

tem said...

"rough morning"

do tell

tem said...

if she was smaller the bullet would have missed her completely.

El Pad said...

Ever wonder who designs those illustrations that transform the Google.com logo on holidays and other special occasions such as the Vancouver Winter Olympics?

No.

CNN is so whack i dont even know why i stop there

tem said...

"Ever wonder who designs those illustrations that transform the Google.com logo on holidays and other special occasions such as the Vancouver Winter Olympics? "

i didn't even know suck logos existed.

Steve said...

"After incident: ‘I want to be as big as I can if it’s going to stop a bullet’"


yea, i think your looking at this in the wrong kinda way.

El Pad said...

"do tell"

work related, i wont trouble you with that talk

although you know when you have one of those clumsy mornings?

like you keep dropping things or you spilled a lil beverage on your pants, shit like that

El Pad said...

this dude lives up in the sticks of NY and got some snow apparentely so he calls in sick but the way he calls in sick is via text message

really

we text message in sick now?

Jugdish said...

although you know when you have one of those clumsy mornings?


WORD!


/steve

tem said...

"although you know when you have one of those clumsy mornings?

like you keep dropping things or you spilled a lil beverage on your pants, shit like that"

yeah, but those aren't work related.

tem said...

"we text message in sick now?"

i email in sick.

when i am not really sick.

Jugdish said...

like you keep dropping things or you spilled a lil beverage on your pants, shit like that



i thought those sippy cups were spill proof nowadays?

El Pad said...

women are crazy exhibit 254789642 your honor

Steve said...

"i email in sick.

when i am not really sick."


i call before my boss is there and leave a message.

El Pad said...

"yeah, but those aren't work related."

no i know keef, but i got that going on too

mama said they be days like this

El Pad said...

"i call before my boss is there and leave a message."

standard and appropiate

Keef said...

"And who are the people sitting in the stands watching this, the guys come by for like 30 seconds every 10 minutes. "

I thought the same thing when luge was on. People probably paid lot for those tickets to see a guy for .3 seconds every 5 minutes

Keef said...

"mama said they be days like this"

Does she SILTIRL

Keef said...

Big win for FU, TP

tem said...

"i call before my boss is there and leave a message."

i'd do that if i got up before my boss got in.

Steve said...

"Woman Who Lied About Rape Sentenced To 1-3 Years"


he spent almost 4 years in prison. she should have to spend every minute in jail that he did.

tem said...

"no i know keef, but i got that going on too

mama said they be days like this"

i have to play the role of as. when as. is not here.

also i have to be an as. to as. if the situation calls for it.

these are the rules of the lawless society.

tem said...

"she should have to spend every minute in jail that he did."

i wonder how much he will get in his lawsuit.

Steve said...

"i wonder how much he will get in his lawsuit."


who is he gonna sue? she probably doesn't have any money. and i don't think you can sue the court system...could be wrong though.

Keef said...

last night...

cmk: I started my period on Sunday

me: Apology accepted

Keef said...

I thought you could sue anyone

blue said...

i'm going to sue Meiz

El Pad said...

you can, but good luck collecting the money

El Pad said...

london sucks

Keef said...

"i'm going to sue Meiz"

THANK YOU! ugh

Keef said...

If you sue mize, do you get half of what Bo Jones brings in?

Todd Packer said...

"You Rock, Howard Stern"

he has been hyping this for a while.. i think he is going to have celebrity judges too

blue said...

"london sucks"


elpadstevefastery

Todd Packer said...

"Big win for FU, TP"

huge win... they need to take care of UGA this weekend

Keef said...

London is the Caput Mundi of England

Todd Packer said...

"last night...

cmk: I started my period on Sunday

me: Apology accepted"


nice work, keith

Jugdish said...

cmk: I started my period on Sunday

me: I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.


fixed

El Pad said...

cmk: I started my period on Sunday

me: So that's why you were acting like a bitch


*double figged

Steve said...

cmk: I started my period on Sunday

me: sweet! blowjobs for a week."


*triple figged

El Pad said...

american idol wussies get paid yo

El Pad said...

*triple figged

yeah blowjobs

right

Jugdish said...

LOS ANGELES — It is doubtful that any of the remaining 24 contestants on “American Idol” hope that they will be playing the Teen Angel in a touring production of “Grease” in Milwaukee three years from now.



Mize...you HAVE to go!

/keef

Keef said...

"yeah blowjobs

right"


^^^^^^^

Meiz said...

"tem said...

was it that bar trivia where they ask a question and you can look the answer up on your phone?"


We don't cheat, Tem.

Keef said...

We don't cheat, Tem. We'd rather bitch about the other team having more people after they beat us


*fized

blue said...

We don't have cool enough fones* to look up answers tem


*figed

blue said...

i don't have time to look up answers because i'm fawning over the latest Bo Jones tweet, tem


*fizlled

Jugdish said...

does this bar have a pay phone bank?


/mize

Meiz said...

"i'm going to sue Meiz"


Nothin from nothin is nothin.

El Pad said...

the snowboarder with the pics after winning bronze i mean cmon

dude is 22 was getting hammered partying

Steve said...

"Dr. Earl Bradley has been charged with sexually molesting 103 children at an office he had decked out with a merry-go-round and a ferris wheel, in Delaware, US...He is accused of videotaping sex acts while the children's parents were waiting in another room."

link

fry that son-of-a-bitch

Meiz said...

"the snowboarder with the pics after winning bronze i mean cmon

dude is 22 was getting hammered partying"


Funny how the Olympics want the snowboarders for ratings/money/relevance, but they don't want the snowboarding atmosphere, eh?

Steve said...

Taco Salad Day!!


DET

El Pad said...

"Funny how the Olympics want the snowboarders for ratings/money/relevance, but they don't want the snowboarding atmosphere, eh?"

this is called hitting the nail on the head

good point

Meiz said...

Baseball stadium timeline.

Pretty cool.

Steve said...

gorgeous

but what's up with her boobs. SFW

El Pad said...

was all over mila a couple of weeks ago

boobs look fine

Meiz said...

Look at these fuckin' assholes.

No, really. Take a fucking look.

blue said...

mila is really hot in Sarah Marshall

blue said...

that was a great link Meiz, i'm suing you for a refund

Keef said...

Look at this fucking link


/mize

Keef said...

John Daly on Rome right now, mize

El Pad said...

mila is really hot in Sarah Marshall

^^^^^^^^^^

blue said...

i like bo jones too

blue said...

sarah marshall has more dong than I like in my average movie though

El Pad said...

"sarah marshall has more dong than I like in my average movie though"

not enough for me

/ep

Keef said...

stop it

/LP

Steve said...

"sarah marshall has more dong than I like in my average movie though"

and here comes the pitch...straight down the middle.

El Pad said...

meanwhile there are sex scenes in it which give the opportunity to see kristen bell tits or mila kunis tits/ass and they dont show it

all i get is a polaroid of mila tits at the end

Steve said...

"not enough for me

/ep"

"stop it

/LP"


fly ball, center field. 2 outs

Spaceman Spiff said...

"all i get is a polaroid of mila's head above someone's tits at the end"

*fized

/colov

Keef said...

""all i get is a polaroid of mila's head above someone's tits at the end"

*fized "


It's Tebow's gf

Steve said...

isn't mila supposed to have some sort of make out session with N Portman in their next movie?

El Pad said...

i dont know she was hot in Max Payne asswell

Keef said...

Hilarity

El Pad said...

canada is so gay

El Pad said...

Authorities in a Texas suburb have their hands full with a real drug problem: “Liquid O.” That’s the “street name” for liquefied black tar heroin that is currently all the rage and often gets packaged in Visine bottles according to police. Like crack, it’s cheap, fast, and one drop in the nose only costs $5.


damn, first cheese heroin now this

Keef said...

apple pork chops last night were HDH

El Pad said...

easy Sam, easy

Keef said...

Report: NFL proposes HGH test; union against it



shocking

Keef said...

wall

Keef said...

wft happened here

El Pad said...

movie based on Speedy Gonzalez mouse

George Lopez the lead

YES!

/aitch

blue said...

my favorite Sam Wyche moment

Keef said...

"my favorite Sam Wyche moment"


That was a grate* moment

Steve said...

"George Lopez"


has anybody watched his late night show? any good?

Jugdish said...

has anybody watched his late night show? any good?



::changed channel::

Keef said...

George Lopez is awful

Keef said...

O:FB, motherfuckers

Meiz said...

I still can't come up with a restaurant for tomorrow.

El Pad said...

i assume you are talking about something mentioned in LOV

El Pad said...

AD

Jugdish said...

roommate is moving out soon, but another brother of jug might move in in his place...suite

El Pad said...

"George Lopez is awful"

this and that

El Pad said...

how many bros you got?

Meiz said...

"i assume you are talking about something mentioned in LOV"

No. Aunt & Uncle taking me out to dinner tomorrow for my birthday & I can't decide on a restaurant.

Jugdish said...

how many bros you got?



3

Jugdish said...

No. Aunt & Uncle taking me out to dinner tomorrow for my birthday & I can't decide on a restaurant.


no decision is a decision

blue said...

hooters...pick hooters

Jugdish said...

gross!

/mize

Keef said...

"No. Aunt & Uncle taking me out to dinner tomorrow for my birthday & I can't decide on a restaurant."

Taco Bell. They're meals are expensive

blue said...

sizzler has good steaks

/meiz

Jugdish said...

Chuck E. Mize

El Pad said...

"No. Aunt & Uncle taking me out to dinner tomorrow for my birthday & I can't decide on a restaurant."

Tomaso's

Keef said...

they're is suite

Keef said...

Tomasos is good

El Pad said...

brew city BBQ or Dixie Ribs

El Pad said...

Kowloon chinese son

El Pad said...

"how many bros you got?

3"

nice

dont forget bros before hoes

El Pad said...

Sabor Brazilian son

you ever been to one of those
they just keep coming to the table with meat

like all night

Jugdish said...

dont forget bros before hoes


troof!


I might need to invest in a kegerator

Jugdish said...

a kegerator is a much more real dream than the bang bus

Keef said...

"a kegerator is a much more real dream than the bang bus"


Kegerator in the bang bus

done & done

Jugdish said...

Kegerator in the bang bus


that was mentioned

Meiz said...

"hooters...pick hooters"


I might say BW2, but so far all I have is Here and here


Pic

Meiz said...

"Tomaso's"


I don't like Tomaso's

Keef said...

Morton's, dumbas.

El Pad said...

meiz can turn free food into a woe situation

unreal

Keef said...

going sledding this weekend

El Pad said...

guess zeke is back to being blocked

that sucks

El Pad said...

"going sledding this weekend"

flagstaff?

Jugdish said...

going sledding this weekend



suite

El Pad said...

looks like another deadly nor-easter

El Pad said...

weather man said 80mph winds

so this is like a snow hurricane?

wft

Keef said...

"flagstaff?"

Si

blue said...

"Morton's, dumbas."


Morton's has awesome happy hour deals(NS)

blue said...

"so this is like a snow hurricane?"


snurricane


I AM EL NINO

Keef said...

"Morton's has awesome happy hour deals(NS)"

Mize hasn't been happy for an hour his entire life

Keef said...

"I AM EL NINO"

Spanish for "The Nino"

El Pad said...

stop it, you know i don't speak spanish

blue said...

because it's funny

El Pad said...

rip farley

Keef said...

RIP Farley

Keef said...

woe*

blue said...

how keith should have covered his "bitch" comment

Spaceman Spiff said...

"@espn

Michael Westbrook says he's not retiring, has heard from NFL teams for 2010 "

hilarity

meiz, apply to run espn's twitter

blue said...

for steve

RAINMAN

Steve said...

"BW2"


blasphemy

Steve said...

Duke vs Kentucky

::wipes a tear away::

Steve said...

this is funny. everybody text M9 to 74567

blue said...

do standard text messaging charges apply?

Steve said...

probably

Keef said...

I'm not voting for Jon Scheyer

El Pad said...

vonn fell

El Pad said...

sg with a "here are my great ideas to save the nba" article

wHeasel said...

"movie based on Speedy Gonzalez mouse

George Lopez the lead

YES!

/aitch"

This one I don't understand. Why is aitch yessing this?

Jugdish said...

jug is getting off early on friday to go here to see concert and hang out for free food and beer.

Saturday I'm doing this, and then going back here for some more free food, music, and beer.

Good times!

Jugdish said...

This one I don't understand. Why is aitch yessing this?



that's why

Keef said...

fucking rodeo

Meiz said...

"Morton's, dumbas."

I think we all know about me & steak.

El Pad said...

"It's about Jamaal Tinsley getting paid $10.6 million this season and the next by Indiana NOT to play there."

Milk, bad choice.

Keef said...

"I think we all know about me & steak."

Yeah, you don't like paying for it. You're not paying for this one

Jugdish said...

fucking rodeo



shocker...and its the BBQ cookoff, not the rodeo. if you can't have fun there then there is something wrong with you

El Pad said...

"This one I don't understand. Why is aitch yessing this?"

cuz aitch made a comment about g lopez being funnny

Meiz said...

"blasphemy"

Why so?

Steve said...

"While the camaraderie is fun and festive, the judging is all business as teams vie for the coveted title of World’s Championship Bar-B-Que Contest Grand Champion."


sounds tasty

wHeasel said...

"cuz aitch made a comment about g lopez being funnny"

Really, Anthony? Really?

Meiz said...

"Yeah, you don't like paying for it. You're not paying for this one"


Steak is kinda meh

wHeasel said...

Cuz I'm pretty sure it was Carlos Mencia that I referenced.

Keef said...

"shocker...and its the BBQ cookoff, not the rodeo. if you can't have fun there then there is something wrong with you"

I didn't click on the link. Just saw rodeo

Keef said...

"Steak is kinda meh"

Your* dumb

wHeasel said...

And I didn't say he was funny, I jsut referenced his "You're retarded!" schtick (sp?)

Jugdish said...

sounds tasty


its actually pretty cool. they have the tent city all setup. you have to have access to particular tents, but not hard to do. if you have access to a tent they usually have free beer, liquor, and BBQ. some have live bands...but there is live bands on the main stage too.

Keef said...

"Cuz I'm pretty sure it was Carlos Mencia that I referenced."

Not helping your cause

wHeasel said...

So, in closing, you're a dumbass.

The H rests, your honor.

Jugdish said...

I didn't click on the link. Just saw rodeo


ok Eelp


s

Jugdish said...

bold

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