Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Good intentions

Seinfeld Voice

So what's the deal with school buses stopping on railroad tracks, opening their door and then driving off? Is the best place to see if a train is coming directly on the tracks? What are these drivers trained to do if a bus is coming? Floor it I guess.


Headlines

Arenas: I'll try to rebuild relationship with youth

Umm Gilbert, I would not recommend that. Most celebs who do that get in a world of trouble. See: Jackson, Michael.

Speaking of Michael, would it shock anyone if he was murdered because someone decided he did in fact rape little kids and he deserved to die?

Ruling: $220M NFL sharing pool stays

That's a big pool. I bet Keith couldn't fix it either.

Schefter: Westbrook snubbed for All-Decade

Was it an all decade all injury team? If so, yeah he was snubbed.

Plan to abandon 'don't ask, don't tell' to go before panel

Are they going to replace it with just allowing openly gay folk, or just not allowing any gay folk? ns

Pirates release ship after ransom paid

Who says Pirates aren't honorable? I hope this helps their win projection.

'GI Janes' train to protect Iraq

An old movie staring Demi Moore will not help Iraq.

Moss played hurt for Patriots

Pot is a wonderful drug.

NHL Update

San Jose has the most points, they must be the best.

UFC Picks

Randy Couture vs. Mark Coleman

Couture should roll Coleman. Coleman is usually tired after about 3 minutes of action. I would be shocked if this one makes it past round 2.


Nate Marquardt vs. Chael Sonnen

Gotta think Sonnen is completely outmatched here. Nate the Great should roll. Again, I don't see this one lasting past round 2.


Mike Swick vs. Paulo Thiago

This should be a competitive fight. I'll give the edge to Thiago, but really this one could go either way....by the by everytime I say that someone wins by KO inside of 2 mins. So if you are betting just go ahead and bet on Swick to KO Thiago.

Demian Maia vs. Dan Miller

I don't think I like either of these guys. I hope it ends in a draw, but Maia should roll.

Matt Serra vs. Frank Trigg

Serra is all talk. So is Trigg I think. This fight will feature the most in octogon talking ever. Ever. Even more than when a Shamrock fights. In any case, this should be a good one. I'll give Trigg the nod even though I am basing that on nothing.

Mac Danzig vs. Justin Buchholz

Danzig is a TUF winner. I think they are still giving him softies. He should win.

Ronnys Torres vs. Melvin Guillard

Guillard has the same last name as a guy from Walker Texas Ranger. If he learned anything from Chuck Norris he will win.

Phillipe Nover vs. Robert Emerson

This sounds like a battle of poets. I haven't heard of either of these guys. Let's say Nover wins because his name sounds foreign.

Phil Davis vs. Brian Stann

Stann can punch a lot. I think he is an ex Marine, so I figure the UFC is giving him someone who will stand with him. That is a 100% guess. I'll go with Stann because he seems more marketable than the guy I never heard of.

Tim Hague vs. Chris Tuchscherer

Hague because his name is easier to type.


Rolles Gracie vs. Whoever

Gracie will roll around on the ground a lot. A lot. And then some more. If this fight goes to the mat Gracie will win via submission in round 1. If Whoever can keep it standing he has a shot. I figure Gracie will pull guard and win easily. Whoever won't be able to resist getting the top position.

514 comments:

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blue said...

good work freak

blue said...

fuck the mets

blue said...

and the browns

blue said...

and the patriots

blue said...

and the cavs

blue said...

and the celtics

blue said...

and the bruins

blue said...

and whatever hockey team plays in cleveland

blue said...

and fuck roger federererereer

blue said...

fuck andy murray and his crying

blue said...

fuck serena williams

blue said...

and venus

blue said...

the tennis player, not the planet

blue said...

fuck axe

blue said...

i don't like old spice much either

blue said...

kanye west can suck a dick

blue said...

maybe even lady gaga's dick

blue said...

miley cyrus sex tape is out there

blue said...

just gotta find it, and try not to go to prison for watching kiddie porn

blue said...

supposedly it's her and jaime lynn spears

blue said...

wearing their micky mousketeer hats

blue said...

fuck Disney

blue said...

that fucking mouse owns everything

blue said...

i know his name is mickey mouse, not disney mouse

blue said...

i used to watch walt disney on tv when i was little

blue said...

on saturdays...he was an old fuck

blue said...

he was an old fuck everyday...but i watched him on saturdays

tem said...

"good work freak"

it published before i was done.

there is more now. it is a decent post now.

blue said...

it was right before some safari show

tem said...

"fuck serena williams"

no.

blue said...

not jack hannah's safari show

tem said...

"wearing their micky mousketeer hats"

was miley a mousketeer? how would you know these things?

blue said...

mutual of omaha's something

blue said...

because insurance and wild animals go well together

tem said...

"not jack hannah's safari show"

he works for the columbus zoo and aquarium.

the aquarium is a small pool.

tem said...

"because insurance and wild animals go well together"


animals need insurance too.

blue said...

that was TCS practice...

it's like minicamp

blue said...

otas


except i don't have a team, and i'm not organized...but it was an activity

tem said...

it would have netted you some premie points.

tem said...

minus points for neglecting to say FUCK AXE

blue said...

i did say fuck axe

blue said...

it was right after the serena/venus discussion

tem said...

oh, i sit corrected.

good work.

tem said...

good read on football concussions, biased a bit, but a good read

tem said...

my link kilt the palce.

tem said...

groundhog always "Sees his shadow"

he comes out of his hole and smells about 200 humans. then he goes back in.

tem said...

at least blue tried this morning.

I Love Bill Simmons said...

blem show is no heiz show

blue said...

in the hizzie to the lezzie

tem said...

::charlie brown teacher voice::

Beth said...

Tem, you forgot to type "go" on the old comment thread.

Jugdish said...

That's a big pool. I bet Keith couldn't fix it either.



hilarity

Jugdish said...

Tem, you forgot to type "go" on the old comment thread.



blue got the message

blue said...

i was premature


it happens

tem said...

"Tem, you forgot to type "go" on the old comment thread."

oops. sorry.

tem said...

"At 7:30 a.m. Staten Island Chuck very reluctantly came out of his winter home and did not see his shadow, .....Chuck has had correct predictions 80% of the time since the 1980s"

because nobody goes and sees chuck.

tem said...

"i was premature

it happens"

sure does /lp

Beth said...

"i was premature

it happens"

Well at least twice it didn't.

El Pad said...

staten island chuck says early spring

he wins

El Pad said...

meeting with caller company tomorrow, the guy aint coo he is a level beneath him, called managing ditrector

Jugdish said...

good luck!

tem said...

managing ditrector is a big deal.

tem said...

you don't just get that ditrector title on accident.

El Pad said...

ny times piece on mcgwire

El Pad said...

"you don't just get that ditrector title on accident."

true, it's a big fish

thnaks juggernaut

tem said...

i am glad it isn't an instant message interview.

blue said...

director is just ahead of associate

tem said...

i thought sr. associate was ahead of associate.

and then manager.

and then sr. manager.

and then executive sr. manager.

then director.

then sr. director.

then ditrector.

then coo.

blue said...

ditrector is da troof...you get to that position and you're set for life

tem said...

wall?

tem said...

bam.

i would rock the tcs.

Beth said...

"i would rock the tcs"

Not if I was making up the scores for it.

Meiz said...

I'm in a dangerously good mood this morning. Look out.

tem said...

"Not if I was making up the scores for it."

ahiyk

tem said...

"I'm in a dangerously good mood this morning. Look out."

dummy will wreck that soon enough.

blue said...

deluxe must have given up the zj last night

Meiz said...

Hey fuckfaces, retweet the LOV tweets.

Meiz said...

"dummy will wreck that soon enough."

That happens at noon tomorrow.

tem said...

what does retweet mean?

blue said...

retweet your twat fucker

Beth said...

"ahiyk"

ik

tem said...

yeah, yk.

El Pad said...

"Hey fuckfaces, retweet the LOV tweets."

I did or do.

Meiz said...

I'm rooting for more winter.

More winter = more ice fishin'

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Rolles Gracie vs. Mostapha Al-Turk "

gracie won this, al turk had visa issues and got replaced

El Pad said...

keef i will not be coming to your super bowl party

El Pad said...

i need a HAIRCUT

no really I need a haircut badly

El Pad said...

my sideburns are gross

tem said...

"gracie won this, al turk had visa issues and got replaced"

so he didn't win, got it.

El Pad said...

ufc sucks

tem said...

your face sucks.

El Pad said...

"Are they going to replace it with just allowing openly gay folk, or just not allowing any gay folk? ns"

allowing openly gay folk

tem said...

i see.

thoughts el pad?

tem said...

HUNGRY

El Pad said...

"thoughts el pad?"

nothing wrong with dont ask dont tell, not sure why they need to change it, having openly gay folk in the military probably will cause some friction within some platoons, groups and various other divisions

Spaceman Spiff said...

thanks to the expansion to 10, the hangover got a best pic nom

El Pad said...

media day
oh yea

Meiz said...

"I did or do."

There is zero evidence of this

El Pad said...

oscar roster of movies looks awful

El Pad said...

"There is zero evidence of this"

i retweeted lov tweets more than once pecos

El Pad said...

what's the access to the twitter feed anyway

Meiz said...

"i retweeted lov tweets more than once pecos"

This morning?

Last night?


All signs point to no. I thought you were Mr. "We need to expand".

Beth said...

"thanks to the expansion to 10, the hangover got a best pic nom"

You forgot the S.

Keith S said...

"i didnt see not one movie on any oscar list"


::hukt on fonix::

Keith S said...

"That's a big pool. I bet Keith couldn't fix it either."


It's fixt* now

Keith S said...

"dummy will wreck that soon enough."


Dummy doesn't work today, tem

Spaceman Spiff said...

"You forgot the S"

yea, for shanny. i was bamboozled

Jugdish said...

having openly gay folk in the military probably will cause some friction within some platoons, groups and various other divisions



^^^^^^^^

Meiz said...

"what's the access to the twitter feed anyway"

txt sent

Spaceman Spiff said...

couple of idiots on pawn stars last night, they were both ripped off previously and in denial

El Pad said...

"Last night?


All signs point to no. I thought you were Mr. "We need to expand"."

i was drunk, I replied I didn't retweet, then I retweeted myself

good stuff

El Pad said...

Mr. "We need to expand".

front and center, if we were focused years ago we'd be at media day today asking silly questions

El Pad said...

txt sent

got it

Meiz said...

I want to smoke a doobie with SG

El Pad said...

jersey shore season 2 not on jersey shore, i think miami

El Pad said...

taking them out of thier element might be the most genius thing they did

El Pad said...

can you imagine being inside charlize theron

god that must feel awesome

Meiz said...

Same cast?

Meiz said...

"can you imagine being inside charlize theron

god that must feel awesome"


I imagine she's got a bony vag

Keith S said...

mize & LP are getting a ::tweety bird:: from me

Spaceman Spiff said...

shocking

Spaceman Spiff said...

shocking

re: bony vag

El Pad said...

same cast

Keith S said...

On Sunday night, in an interview with ESPN during the Pro Bowl, Peyton Manning accidentally called Darren Sharper “Jamie.” Darren is the Saints’ safety; Jamie is his older brother, who was a linebacker for the Ravens, Texans and Seahawks.

Monday, Darren got his revenge while answering a question about Colts tight end Dall Clark.

“We know we have athletic linebackers who can match up with him and also have athletic safeties or whoever we decide to put on him,” Sharper said before delivering the punch line with a wry smile: “He’s a guy you have to watch out for and be aware of where he is because he’s Peyton’s – or should I say Eli’s – go-to guy.”

El Pad said...

i'm sleepy, Blow came on late last night and it's must watch so i watched it

blue said...

that's eli's problem...he's always trying to throw to dallas clark and he's not on his team.

Meiz said...

"i'm sleepy, Blow came on late last night and it's must watch so i watched it"


Shoulda got some coke on the way into work

El Pad said...

no supermarket has wings on sale this week

fucking whores

Keith S said...

why would they put something on sale when they know they're gonna sell a bought*load of them anyway?

El Pad said...

boss talking to dog on phone


UNCOMFORTABLE

Meiz said...

"no supermarket has wings on sale this week

fucking whores"


Round up your wife & kid and go to Costco.

El Pad said...

"why would they put something on sale when they know they're gonna sell a bought*load of them anyway?"

i dont know, why do they put hot dogs, burgers, chips, soda and beer on sale for memorial day weekend?

Meiz said...

And don't forget the cheese

El Pad said...

"Round up your wife & kid and go to Costco."

i like the smaller wing variety, costco got the big frozen ones

El Pad said...

why are the chips and dips on sale but not the wings?

why is the soda and beer on sale but not the wings?

El Pad said...

what to expect when the Who Dats coming to town

Keith S said...

more competition for soda & beer and hot dogs and chips. Not all brands are on sale

Meiz said...

I really irritates me when a customer comes in with pre-paid label on whatever they're shipping, and the asian dude says "That should be ready to go". NO, you ignorant ass, it IS ready to go. Not "should be", IS.


end rant

Meiz said...

"i dont know, why do they put hot dogs, burgers, chips, soda and beer on sale for memorial day weekend?"


Possibly related to profit margins?

El Pad said...

weazy

Meiz said...

Jesus, Dwayne

Meiz said...

Cooley & Ocho teaming up for Media Day is money. OCNN

El Pad said...

yeah good stuff

H said...

"i posted the onions "Cowboys Release Jerry Jones" article to my friend's page on FB and he thought it was realy for a few minutes. we have another H on our hands."

Fuck you. WADR

Meiz said...

"yeah good stuff"

Hopefully they post the questions/interviews somewhere

Steve said...

Why Reagan wasn't a Reaganite

Keith S said...

"Possibly related to profit margins?"



that too

Jugdish said...

Vick: I'm still a top 10 quarterback


top ten in what?

tem said...

"why is the soda and beer on sale but not the wings?"

because the nation is going through a chicken wing shortage.

ns.

tem said...

boneless wings might be on sale.

tem said...

"Vick: I'm still a top 10 quarterback


top ten in what?"

reverse alphabetical order

Jugdish said...

boneless wings are the better

Meiz said...

Freddy Garcia drunk at White Sox fan fest?

Meiz said...

"boneless wings are the better"


Or drumsticks only

Meiz said...

Wow. Freddy was loaded.

Meiz said...

You better get your boy, Jug.

El Pad said...

freddy garcia is a no one

tem said...

garcia still plays?

tem said...

garcia is a usedtacould.

Meiz said...

What should I write about today?

Keith S said...

"Or drumsticks only"


Flappers only

Meiz said...

"freddy garcia is a no one"

Much like 4/5ths of the Mess rotation

Meiz said...

"Flappers only"

I can nerve get all the meat off of 'em

El Pad said...

"Much like 4/5ths of the Mess rotation"

i dont have a problem with that statement at all

Keith S said...

Freddy's tooth fairy movie looks awful

Keith S said...

"I can nerve get all the meat off of 'em"

Drumsticks have too much grissle(sp)

tem said...

i like drumsticks better.

Keith S said...

Pecota projects Cincy to have 60 wins now. I'll take whoever wants to bet that

Keith S said...

s

Keith S said...

LP
1 week bet Reds/Mess better record?

tem said...

"Pecota projects Cincy to have 60 wins now. I'll take whoever wants to bet that"


pirates got changed to 12 wins.

Meiz said...

"grissle(sp)"

gristle

Keith S said...

When are espn & yahoo gonna have the fmlb leagues set up?

Meiz said...

Cooley was with Ray Rice?

WHY WASN'T I INFORMED?

Meiz said...

"When are espn & yahoo gonna have the fmlb leagues set up?"

WWL should be live in a couple weeks. I had a draft in February last season. That was dumb. Won't be doing it again.

El Pad said...

"LP
1 week bet Reds/Mess better record?"

let's do it again, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it

Keith S said...

"That was dumb"


^^^^^

Keith S said...

"let's do it again, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it"

I'd do a bet where the winner gets something from the other person's city but we don't "own" anything here

Keith S said...

unless you count tequila with a scorpion in it but I think you can get that anywhere

tem said...

you own the sun.

tem said...

keef, is your addy still the 1434 one?

Meiz said...

"unless you count tequila with a scorpion in it but I think you can get that anywhere"


Box o' scorpions.

Keith S said...

plus, that shit's like $60

El Pad said...

An ESPN source said, “It’s a done deal with the expansion of the tournament. Depending on how soon a (TV) deal is done, the added teams could start next year. The NCAA confirmed that bidders would be interested in 96 teams, so they’re going with it.”

what?

this means it will be 96 teams not 64?

Keith S said...

"keef, is your addy still the 1434 one?"

si

tem said...

60$ or $60?

tem said...

"si"


siidss

El Pad said...

"I'd do a bet where the winner gets something from the other person's city but we don't "own" anything here"

this is unfortunate, caput mundi has so much to offer

tem said...

"what?

this means it will be 96 teams not 64?"


that is stupid. 64 is perfect.

tem said...

"this is unfortunate, caput mundi has so much to offer"

he doesn't want your bad parents.

tem said...

or your fear of planes.

Keith S said...

"this is unfortunate, caput mundi has so much to offer"


AJA, what does CM have that I can't get online?

Spaceman Spiff said...

"that is stupid. 64 is perfect."

already stupid then, its 65

Keith S said...

yLP. I could send a 12 of these. Not gonna send a case, shipping would be redonk

Keith S said...

hsil just found out she has to work during the super bowl. hahaha, IN HER FACE

Keith S said...

mize, you like JT WAY too much

El Pad said...

funny, guy behind guy on tv looking at naked chick on computer

El Pad said...

65 with the play in game, right

El Pad said...

"AJA, what does CM have that I can't get online?"

illegal reptiles

Keith S said...

"funny, guy behind guy on tv looking at naked chick on computer"


Look at the size of that guy's heeeeed

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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





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