Monday, January 18, 2010

Running diary

I didn’t realize that there was an awards show tonight. I should of* realized it because it’s January and I think there’s an awards show every weekend during January. It’s kind of annoying. But cmk & I were at Costco getting a new patio set and the following conversation takes place…

cmk – The Golden Globes are on tonight. I guarantee hsil has the dvr set up for that. We can probably watch that later.
me – Yeah, that’s fine. I can do something for the blog.
cmk – What?
me – It’s called a running diary.
cmk - ::hank hill::
me – It's pretty funny. I-
cmk – You’re retarded

All times are MST.

9:30 – Here we are, live at the as. Mansion. The Golden Globes are starting with the introduction of the host, some Brit I’ve nerve* heard of. I guess he was in the British version of the Office. His humor is <<<<<<< than Steve Carrell. I’m already tired of listening to him ramble on and on. 2 minutes in and his jokes are already getting a ::get on with it:: from the crowd

9:32 – He’s still unfunny. The crowd is getting uncomfortable. He’s really ackward*.

9:35 – Holy crap, is this guy still talking? I haven’t laught* at one thing that he’s said. He did just take a sip of a beer that he had sitting under the podium, though. I didn’t know that was allowed on TV.

9:36 – Nicole Kidman is pimping some Haiti relief fund. What happened in Haiti? /LP

9:37 – The first award of the night goes to some big black chick. She has stretch marks and hair covering her arms. It’s grosser than it sounds. But at least the token award is out of the way. I didn’t say that.

9:40 – Tina Fey looks awful.

9:44 – Fucking AT&T commercials with Luke Wilson are the worse. I’ve nerve* heard of a person who “needs” a phone that they can surf the internet as they are talking on the phone. But that is their pitch and they’re making it sound like it’s a necessity. Why not just say “Our service sucks. This is all we got.”

9:47 – John Lithgow just won an award. I didn’t know he was on TV. I’m not a fan of his. 3rd Rock from the Sun was the worse show ever. There, I said it.

9:52 – The get off the stage music is the best. People go from shook to SHOOK

9:55 - Nine looks like a suite musical. /Kevin

9:57 – British guy is back on stage and making stupid jokes and laughing at them. Where’s Kanye at to take the mic away from him

10:00 – Cancer Dexter guy just won for best actor in a TV drama. He’s wearing a beanie and cmk says “What the hell is he wearing”. I said “I think he’s got cancer. Your* going to hell.”

10:05 – Harrison Ford’s corpse is presenting an award. Seriously, he sounds like he’s dead. I guess he worked around the clock too much.

10:08 – Cher and Christina Aguilera presenting an award. One of them looks like Michael Jackson and one looks awesome*. I’ll let you guess which was which.

10:18 – Jesus, some bitch just talkt* about 3 minutes into the get off the stage music. One more minute and the floor would of* dropped out from under her.

10:20 – Colin Farrell is still alive? He just fuckt* up his joke. Hilarity. He looks like he’s trying to be the John Stamos of the 2000s, except with more hair gel.

10:22 – Meryl Streep just beat herself for Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical. Congrats, there were 4 people nominated and you took 2 of the spots. I probably won’t watch either of your movies. Go kiss Sandra Bullock now.

10:27 – New celebrity apprentice with Goldberg? Suite. ETEO

10:30 – Kevin Bacon seems like a cool motherfucker. He’s high on something right now. He probably weighs about a buck-o-five right now. Even kod thinks he looks little

10:33 – Drew Barrymore looks the same today as she did 15 years ago. It’s crazy. She doesn’t age at all. She’s fucking long-winded, though. Wrap it up already. TWSS

10:38 – cmk’s reaction to seeing Cameron Diaz on stage… “Uh, eat something bitch”.

10:45 – Don’t forget about Haiti. They need our help

10:52 – Samuel L. motherfucker. He’s still tired of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane.

10:55 – I would definitely have sexy time with Sophia Loren. Yeah, I said it. Don’t judge me. I know I’m not the only one.

11:00 – I’m gonna fast-forward now because it’s only halfway through and I’m already bored. This might be the more boring show I’ve erve* seen. NS

11:01 – Oh wait, there’s been a Kristin Bell sighting. I love me some Kristin Bell. When is she going to do Playboy?

11:03 – Stopping the FF right now because Halle Berry is presenting. The puppies are looking grate* tonight. I bet they’re built for speed and pleasure

11:10 – I don’t get how Marty Scorsese’s hair is white but his eyebrows are dark black. But holy crap, he is short. Are there any tall Italians except for the guy who plays for the Knicks?

11:15 – Mel Gibson presenting. Let the jew bashing begin. He did make an Inglorious Bastards joke, so that was kind of funny. Mel also thought that Hitler was ok at first, he just went too far.

11:17 – James Cameron has the 2 highest grossing films of all time. I wonder if he’ll loan me some money if I email him. Seriously, like $1000. I’m good for it.

11:18 – Shot of Leona Lewis in the crowd. I would definitely have a party that involved her and burritos.

11:20 – Fucking stupid. Award for best TV show, with the nominees including The Office, 30 Rock, and Entourage, and the winner is Glee. You know how I know that Hollywood is ghey? Right now kod is saying IN YOU FACE

11:23 – The stars from The Hangover and Iron Mike are presenting now. Goddman, I always forget how short Mike is. Marty Scorsese thinks Iron Mike needs platforms.

11:25 – Tem’s girl Reese Witherspoon presenting now. I’m not gonna lie. She looks hot as fuck tonight. She always looks better when she uses her 15” bangs to cover up her forehead. She’s presenting for the best comedy, which The Hangover wins. The Hollywood Foreign Press must of* watcht* the non-Ohio version of it.

11:30 – cmk just said “I’m going to bed. Are you gonna finish your stupid blog stuff?”

11:33 – OH MY GOD. Mariah’s bewbs look monstrous tonight. God bless her. Nick Cannon probably gets lost in those pieces of heaven every night.

11:45 – I’ve honestly nerve* heard of half of the movies or TV shows that have been nominated tonight.

11:50 – Finally, we’re to the last award. Best motion picture, presented by Julia Roberts. I bet Avatar wins. Strong limb I’m standing on.

11:52 – Avatar wins. Man, I’m awesome*. That pick should make up for my 0-4 football picks this weekend. (s)


Freak is a pussy.

Out

303 comments:

1 – 200 of 303   Newer›   Newest»
H said...

No chance Kristen Bell ever does playboy.

Sounds like I need to google some pics from last night.

H said...

Have I mentioned how much I love snow and sleet. No really, because when you drive for a living, slippery roads are your best friend...

H said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
blue said...

H's last comment was brought to you by the letters

w
o
e

H said...

Good morning Blue

blue said...

mornin H...good to see your typed words today

ToddPacker said...

kev doesn't know who ricky gervais is?

ToddPacker said...

"3rd Rock from the Sun was the worse show ever."


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ToddPacker said...

so the jets are 1 game away from the SB

blue said...

thought it was "thirty rock from the son"?

tem said...

anna paquin's tits were awesome last night.

just fantastic.

tem said...

i also made a bad joke about that dexter's dude's head.

cgtif tolt me he had something something lymphoma something.

tem said...

then there was a commercial of a kid playing football with one eye.

tem said they needed to put a patch on that sumbitch or at least use a crayola marker and color some eye in that spot.

tem said...

good post freak.

blue said...

freak is still hi from the colts win

ToddPacker said...

"freak is still hi from the colts win"

freak will have a bad post next monday

tem said...

this is the worst tcs final ever.

tem said...

el pad post:

zeke 5

kevin 65

tem said...

running total:

z - 72
k -155


if this was a boxing fight the ref would have called a stop to it already.

El Pad said...

congrats TP, cool run for the bums

NS

El Pad said...

colts made their bed now they have to lie in it

El Pad said...

they let the 9 win jets in the playoffs now they stand in their way to an AFC championship

cue the alanis morisette deke

El Pad said...

god bless martin luther

El Pad said...

cmk calls hsil, hsil?

El Pad said...

But cmk & I were at Costco getting a 16 pounds of frozen cheese, 88 cans of tuna and a newpatio set and the following conversation takes place…

ficced

El Pad said...

But cmk & I were at Costco

shocker

El Pad said...

i'm going to costco today btw

El Pad said...

i go 4 times a year

Steve said...

"cmk calls hsil, hsil?"


that's hot

El Pad said...

10:55 – I would definitely have sexy time with Sophia Loren. Yeah, I said it. Don’t judge me. I know I’m not the only one.

your not

El Pad said...

solid effort as.

tem said...

i would not have sexy time with sophia loren.

she can't move her face, that wierds me out too much.

plus i am putting all my efforts into Reese.

she looked just great. the bees knees.

tem said...

damn, gaines adams died.


good trade by the bucs.


too soon?

El Pad said...

phillip rivers has thrown a pick in every single playoff game he's played in, 9 total compared to 8 td's

El Pad said...

young kid, that's fucked up

El Pad said...

more rivers bashing:

11 career 4th quarter combacks
14 game winning drives
1 of them was a playoff game (Ten)

elijah

13 career 4th quarter comebacks
16 game-winning drives
3 of them was playoff wins and all three were in 2007 all of them on the road and oh the last one was the super bowl winning drive

El Pad said...

i'll drop those eli bombs and run now

enjoy your day

elijah >>>>>>>>>>> rivers

any day of the week

let's not forget the Chargers ARE LOADEDDDDDDDDDD



hahahhahahahaha

chew on that eli haters

suck it

fuck aitch
fuck zeke

hahahahahahahahahhahaaa

ELISHA NELSON MANNING is the truth

El Pad said...

::sobbing::

that's MY QUARTERBACK!

tem said...

so eli is better because his team sucks all game and then has to come back to win?

tem said...

if eli would play better during the first 3 qtrs his team wouldn't need to comeback all that much.

tem said...

is it a wall morning?

lots of people off work?

blue said...

"if eli would play better during the first 3 qtrs his team wouldn't need to comeback all that much."


same story with Elway and that made him "great"...if you look at his stats over his career broken down by quarter, he's a fairly average QB quarters 1-3, but when it was money time, he was the best ever.

tem said...

elway is definitely the best horse to ever play QB in the NFL.

blue said...

his daughter has a horrible horse face...she played bball at Stanford, might still be there.

H said...

"fuck aitch"

Was that necessary you midget?

tem said...

that's too bad. horse faces are bad.

girl used to work here with a horse face. but she had an amazing body.

she was the definition of a butter face.

blue said...

block

H said...

And don't act like the last drive in the Superbowl was an amazing QB performance. It took an unreal catch from David Tyree and a defender falling down while covering Plax for the game winner.

The Giants deserved to win that game, but not because Elisha was superhuman.

blue said...

aitch should have sang the "pants on the ground" song, and he would have gotten on Idol/

ToddPacker said...

eli sucks

blue said...

cue the: "elisha did an amazing job avoiding the rush and keeping the play alive on the tyree play" and "elisha deked the cb into falling down"

comments

tem said...

i wonder if el pad heard back from that tiny company yet?

probably not today. i'm not sure if he is even working today.

Meiz said...

Rough shape

tem said...

don't worry meiz, dummy will cheer you up.

blue said...

i thought Obama made today a national holiday

Beth said...

People are actually working today?

tem said...

i am at work.

i like working on days like today. traffic is really light.

Beth said...

And kev, we've disagreed on a lot in the past but I think it just reached a new level. Ricky Gervais is unbelievably funny when he can let loose. He wasn't at his best last night (but still good) but you really need to see one of his standup specials sometimes. He is incredibly politically incorrect and incredibly hilarious.

Beth said...

And add me to the Reese fanclub from last night. She and Penelope Cruz looked the best I thought.

Beth said...

But yeah, I'd probably do Sophia Loren too. The accent alone gets my nips hard. :-)

H said...

Beth, marry me? Haha.

Beth said...

Oh and for the record, Dexter is an amazing show. We don't have Showtime but I've been buying the past seasons on DVD as I'd read the books years ago and loved them.

Steve said...

"Oh and for the record, Dexter is an amazing show. We don't have Showtime but I've been buying the past seasons on DVD as I'd read the books years ago and loved them."


books?

Beth said...

"Beth, marry me? Haha."

Like you'd give up your FB's...

Beth said...

"books?"

Well, I kinda used "read" a little loosely as I listened to them on CD's in the car.

JFreak said...

I have tickets to the AFC champioship game.

BAM!

And then the next day I leave for Italy again.

BAM!

The Kods said...

He is incredibly politically incorrect and incredibly hilarious.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

-I didn't watch the show, so I'm not saying he was funny last night....but he is usually very entertaining IMO

H said...

"Like you'd give up your FB's.."

Like you'd give up your lawyers.

Beth said...

So yesterday fmbeth orders some bacon bourbon caramel popcorn. What is about guys and bacon???

Beth said...

"Like you'd give up your lawyers."

Yeah, good point.

Meiz said...

So sore. Don't want to deal with customers.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"He wasn't at his best last night (but still good) but you really need to see one of his standup specials sometimes."

i gonna go ahead and say kev would not like his standup if he didnt find him funny at all last night. gervais is hialrity

Kevin said...

"kev doesn't know who ricky gervais is?"


I do now. But I don't watch British crap

Kevin said...

"cmk calls hsil, hsil?"

exactly

Spaceman Spiff said...

"So sore. Don't want to deal with customers."

sat on something and got hammered eh

H said...

And for the record, Beth, when I'm in a relationship I am a one woman man.

Kevin said...

"But cmk & I were at Costco

shocker"


Didn't buy food. Had to get the patio set and turbo tax

Meiz said...

This year's dunk contest is gonna suck

Kevin said...

"she looked just great. the bees knees."


She's hit or miss for me, but she looked grate* last night

Meiz said...

"sat on something and got hammered eh"


Pretty much.

H said...

Damn it, Freak. My only rooting interest in that game was that the stadium collapsed and eliminated both teams. Now I can't even hope for that! You can be insufferable at times, but I can't wish you any physical harm!

Meiz said...

Gervais is hilarious. you're missing something, keith

Meiz said...

I hate when people go stand at the end of the counter.

JFreak said...

"You can be insufferable at times, but I can't wish you any physical harm!"

Thank you?

Kevin said...

"And add me to the Reese fanclub from last night. She and Penelope Cruz looked the best I thought."


The chick from the Al Bundy show lookt* awlsome* too

Kevin said...

I ♥ Colombian chicks

Meiz said...

South American women can be so damn hot

Kevin said...

Apparently I missed the bought* on Ricky Gervais. But if someone is a 10 on the comedy level, being a Brit automatically takes you down 3 levels

Kevin said...

mize knows

H said...

Fucking Limeys

/Kevin

Meiz said...

WALL

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Former Knicks guard Stephon Marbury has signed with Shanxi Zhongyu of the Chinese Basketball Association"

when contacted for a statement, the team replied, "we got help now"

H said...

Vote Scott Brown!

Oh wait, wrong forum. None of you live in MA.

tem said...

re: Gervais


he is ok. i get the appeal. but the ohio version of him is just OK.

JFreak said...

Stupid Clint Dempsey getting hurt.

Kevin said...

"Oh wait, wrong forum. None of you live in MA."


Praise Allah

tem said...

"Had to get the patio set and turbo tax"

fuck turbo tax.

Beth said...

"Stupid Clint Dempsey getting hurt."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

tem said...

can i see another shot of anna paquin's rack?

tem said...

is clint dempsey the guy on Grey's Anatomy?

Kevin said...

If I ever see the Gervais stand-up show on TV, I'll give it a shot. I just don't think he was funny at all last night

Kevin said...

"fuck turbo tax."

I should of* hired you?

Kevin said...

The fuck is Clint Dempsey?

Kevin said...

The fuck is Clint Dempsey?

Kevin said...

I'm stuttering

tem said...

when i started watching it was right after big black chick's speech. Gervais wasn't on after that for like 10 minutes.

i axed cgtif if he was sick or something and not there. then i said i like the show with no host.

then he showed up.

tem said...

"I should of* hired you?"

no, i ain't looking for more work. i got a friend who would do it though.

Kevin said...

I got the deluxe version of turbo tax. mize is proud

Beth said...

"The fuck is Clint Dempsey?"

American soccer star, who is now going to miss the World Cup.

tem said...

"Sharapova falls at Aussie"

did she get back up again?



"Nadal finds gear"

he lost all his stuff? it was probably in the pool.

tem said...

"American soccer star"

is there such a thing?

Kevin said...

Turns out that it really was the token award given out first

tem said...

" who is now going to miss the World Cup."


soccer players are too emotional. he can just dvr it and watch it later.

Kevin said...

"is there such a thing?"

^^^^^^^^^^^^

tem said...

what did the black chick win for?

aja, i think that chick is funny. she was on the parkers and was funny.

jenna von oy was on there too. she is hot.

tem said...

"McGwire cheered in first public appearance"

i think he has been in public before.

Kevin said...

"what did the black chick win for?"

blackest lady in a drama

"aja, i think that chick is funny. she was on the parkers and was funny."

::tyler perry::

"jenna von oy was on there too. she is hot."

Six is hot. COLOV

Kevin said...

"blackest lady in a drama"

She shouldn't have won, though. That other chick at her table was really much darker

tem said...

she got blackest supporting lady.

because the blacker chick was up for blackest leading lady, but lost to sandra bullock.

tem said...

"::tyler perry::"

you'd know what the parkers is if you didn't hate black people.

Meiz said...

The Parkers was decent daytime reruns

blue said...

moving on up...to the east side...to a deluxe apartment in the skyyyyyyy...oh movin on up...

blue said...

we finally got a piece of the piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeee

tem said...

that's the jeffersons blhitler

blue said...

parkers/jeffersons/clevelands/browns

its all the same

tem said...

the clevelands are the browns.

blue said...

exactly

tem said...

blhilter*

Meiz said...

Fuck it. I'm going ice fishing this weekend.

tem said...

i thought you were planning on it all along.

Meiz said...

"i thought you were planning on it all along."

That was this past weekend

Meiz said...

I got fucking trashed

tem said...

did you catch fish?

tem said...

i also got trashed on saturday.

tem said...

i was shitfaced.

tem said...

drank at a bar for like 10 hours

tem said...

i did eat a burger and fries though.

tem said...

no shots thankfully.

Meiz said...

"did you catch fish?"


Deluxe caught a tiny perch, and that was it. 10 tip ups out, and not a single fish. We had a bite on one, and when I went to set the hook, it got away.

Meiz said...

"drank at a bar for like 10 hours"

hoo doggy.

Meiz said...

We stopped over at another cabin on saturday night. The way to get back on to the lake from shore was to do a controlled fall.

tem said...

other than sitting at the bar i did nothing.

tem said...

block

Kevin said...

"because the blacker chick was up for blackest leading lady, but lost to sandra bullock."

ooooh, tough brake*

Kevin said...

"you'd know what the parkers is if you didn't hate black people."

obviously I know what the parkers is if I put ::tyler perry::. I just haven't watched that shit

Kevin said...

because it's not funny, not because they're black

Kevin said...

"We had a bite on one, and when I went to set the hook, it got away."


It was probably a monster

Kevin said...

I got shit canned playing wii on Saturday night

Kevin said...

csil paid $115 to register for the Rock in* Roll marathon yesterday. Then she didn't run in it

Kevin said...

in related news, she has LP sized debt

Kevin said...

Jesus, Jose

Kevin said...

we're supposed to get an as.load of rain this week. Goddman El Nino

Kevin said...

Spanish for "the nino"

The Kods said...

We were eating at the restaurant casino after the Tesla show on Saturday night, and the only people in the restaurant were Tesla (minus their lead singer) and us; our tables were right next to each other.

-The bassist made a comment that he was going to beat the shit out of his wife when he got home.
*That didn't go over so well with cmkod (and she had already had about 5 coctails at that time).
-The altercation was pretty amusing actually; I was drunk, so it wasn't too embarassing...more funny to me.

Kevin said...

mize plays bass?

The Kods said...

although I had just watched the move Big Fan the night before, so I was wondering if Tesla was going to beat the shit out of me as I'm cracking up in the background

ToddPacker said...

re: ricky gervais

surpirised no one mentioned "extras". funny show

ToddPacker said...

"I have tickets to the AFC champioship game."

well done, freak. i bet that was a tough ticket

ToddPacker said...

"mize plays bass?"

funny

Kevin said...

PETROS, STOP YELLING. THAT MICROPHONE IN FRONT OF YOU WILL DO ALL THE WORK

tem said...

why were there only 2 groups of people at the restaurant after the concert?

were there only 10 fans at the concert?

tem said...

"I got shit canned playing wii on Saturday night"

what's a good wii game to get?

Kevin said...

"what's a good wii game to get?"

Depends on what you like.

Kevin said...

Tiger Woo is pretty good

Kevin said...

If you like trivia shit, smarty pants is fun

ToddPacker said...

wii resort is fun

Meiz said...

"It was probably a monster"

Didn't feel like it.

tem said...

twss

Meiz said...

"what's a good wii game to get?"


None of them

tem said...

nerve heard of smarty pants.

wft is wii resort?

Kevin said...

"wii resort is fun"

I want to get that

Kevin said...

TP
Do you have that new wii sensor attachment thing that they came out with? Supposed to make movements more accurate or some shit

Kevin said...

"None of them"

fishing game is fun

Kevin said...

mize
spill the beans on the new chick

Kevin said...

goddman holder outers

Kevin said...

holder outers are the worse

ToddPacker said...

"wft is wii resort?"

it's like wii sports part 2.... ping pong, fencing, water skiing, basketball, bowling, archery, cycling, canoeing, a couple of flying games, golf, frisbee golf

Kevin said...

"wft is wii resort?"

ta daaa

ToddPacker said...

"Do you have that new wii sensor attachment thing that they came out with?"

yeah, one adapter came with wii resort and we bought another. games that use the adapter are much better. i don't think you can use the adapter on old games though

Kevin said...

"games that use the adapter are much better."

suite

"i don't think you can use the adapter on old games though"

unsuite

Meiz said...

"spill the beans on the new chick"


What? No.

Meiz said...

Weekend outlook doesn't look very good for fishing. Damn.

ToddPacker said...

bowling is a lot better on wii resort... the flying games are cool. you hold the controller like a paper plane and twist up/down/left/right to control the plane

Kevin said...

"What? No."


So what does "Negative. You'll see. Not FIRE, but enough temperature. And funny." mean?

Kevin said...

"you hold the controller like a paper plane and twist up/down/left/right to control the plane"



Is it as suite as the paper airplane game from LOG?

Meiz said...

I forgot about that. Disregard. I was trashed last night.

ToddPacker said...

"Is it as suite as the paper airplane game from LOG?"

sure

Kevin said...

Didn't we have a paper airplane game a while back?

Meiz said...

New Big Boi album coming soon. Excellent.

ToddPacker said...

"Negative. You'll see. Not FIRE, but enough temperature. And funny."


meiz is dating sarah silverman?

Kevin said...

"I forgot about that. Disregard. I was trashed last night."


Oh, your* one of those people

Kevin said...

"meiz is dating sarah silverman?"

Gross.

Kevin said...

she has hairy arms

Kevin said...

she's disgusting

Kevin said...

premie

ToddPacker said...

block

ToddPacker said...

block

ToddPacker said...

block

Kevin said...

plus, the klan haus wouldn't allow mize to date her

ToddPacker said...

block

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 303   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino