Monday, August 31, 2009

2009 College Football Preview

These rankings are based on my thoughts on where teams will finish the regular season…

1) FU Gaytors – I don’t know how this team is gonna lose. Returning the entire 2-deep on defense and not really losing anyone but Percy Harvin on offense. But they have a frosh coming in (Debose) who is could have the skills that Harvin brought. They are by far the best team in the country, and the shouldn’t lose a game. But they always have 1 hiccup during the season that keeps them from being a dynasty. Word is that Tebow & the coaching staff is doing everything to keep the entire team focused every day. But who knows? Every team says that. I want to pick them to go undefeated but they’ll probably drop a game they shouldn’t. Only real tough game for them is at LSU on 10/10. 12-1 regular season record and a spot in Pasadena for a shot at 3 titles in 4 years.

2) Texas – This is McCoy’s year. I think he’ll win the HEEsman*. This team has a bad taste in their mouth after getting snubbed for the BCS game last season so they’re coming into this season with a big chip on their shoulders. Their running game isn’t grate*, but McCoy led them in rushing last year and it didn’t slow them down much. Big games on the schedule along with the Red River shootout are at Mizzou, at Oklahoma State, and at A&M. They’ll probably lose one of those games. 12-1 record and a shot at FU in the BCS title game.

3) Virginia Tech – Beamer has his boys prepped for a big run this year. They start the season with a big game against Alabamer* in Atlanta. If they can win that game (AKIIK), they’ll put themselves in the national title hunt. As usual, Beamer has an A+ defense and special teams. The offense needs some help. They have a solid running game, and QB Tyrod Taylor is elusive, but he needs to stop making silly mistakes. He’s entering his 3rd year as a starter, so I think he’ll do enough to lead them to another ACC title. Other than the Alabama game, the schedule isn’t too tough. Road game at GT in October might present a challenge. 11-2, an ACC Championship, and a spot in the Orange Bowl.

4) Boise State – I like the blue turf demons. They are getting the benefit of having a top 20 ranking to start the season, which will allow them to be able to slowly creep up in this territory by the end of the season. They start the season at on the blue turf against the Ducks. Get past that game and its smooth sailing for the Broncos. They are going to put up a lot of points this season and the defense just has to bend but not break. I think they’ll go 13-0 and play in the Orange Bowl.

5) OU Sooners – Here’s another team that will score points by the truckload. Sam Bradtard* is back to defend his Heisman, but he’s gonna get beat up by the Longhorns in Dallas. Kudos to OU for scheduling a non-conference game against BYU, though. It’s good to see BCS teams playing some top non-BCS teams out of conference. They also play at Miami, although they should handle them pretty easy. Big games against UT, at Kansas, at Nebraska, at TT, and at home against OSU. 10-2 and a spot in the Fiesta Bowl.

6) Penn State – I know some people here aren’t fond of PSU but JoPa has some talent in Happy Valley. I do wish that old fuck would go away, though. Darryl Clark is the real deal, and they have a load of RBs behind him. I’m happy to see a lot of Big Te(leve)n coming into the 21st century and going with the spread offense, aka the Beth offense. Linebacker U is still living up to its name. Their non-conference schedule is a joke. Akron, Syracuse, Temple, and Eastern Illinois. Big conference games at Illinois, at home against OSU, and at UM & MSU. 11-1 and a spot in the Rose Bowl.

7) USC – First time ever that USC has started a true frosh at QB in their first game. That’s a lot of pressure. Good thing for Barkley that he has a lot of talent around him. Losing the O- & D-coordinators will hurt. This is gonna be Joe McKnight’s year, though. Look for him to be a HEEsman* finalist this season. He’s like Reggie Bush Jr. Defense lost lots of talent at LB, but Taylor Mays is a man-beast at safety. Barkley gets thrown right into the fire with a trip to Columbus in week 2. Also big games at Cal, at ND, at Oregon, and at home against Oregon State. 10-2 and a spot in the Rose Bowl.

8) Ole Miss – I’m gonna buy the hype coming out of Oxford. Jevan Snead leads they way on offense. Almost all of his WRs are back, and his top returning RB is only a sophomore. Defense is the strength here. Lots of talent on the line and at LB. Secondary is the weakness, but they return 3 guys there. Not sure if that’s good or bad. Schedule gods helped them out, as they don’t have to play FU until the SEC title game. Big games at Auburn, home vs. LSU. 11-2 and a spot in the Sugar Bowl.

9) Ohio State – If Terrelle Pryor learnt* how to throw in the offseason (AHIIK), then look out. But I’m gonna say that he’s gonna need another year for that. He’s still electric, though. I don’t think they’re gonna lose much production at RB because Boom Herron is redonk. Seems like they never lose a step at RB. Offense lost top 2 WR but they have some young guys who can develop with Pryor. And it looks like Ray Small is gonna be eligible, which is suite. Defense lost a lot of talent, but just like RB, they always reload. Big games vs. USC, at Penn State, at UM. 10-2 and a spot in the Sugar Bowl.

10) Oklahoma State – Robinson and Bryant are a solid QB/WR combo. Just like most Big 12 teams, the Cowboys will put up a ton of points. But they’re also gonna give up a lot of points. They’ll win a few 52-45 type games. They’ll be fun to watch. And their coach IS A MAN. HE’S 40 YEARS OLD!! Big non-conference game against UGA. Tough conference games at home against Texas and at Oklahoma. 10-2 and a spot in the Cotton Bowl.

Rose Bowl - USC over Penn State
Fiesta Bowl - Oklahoma over Wava'
Sugar Bowl - OSU over Ole Miss
Orange Bowl - Boise State over VT
BCS Champyunship* - FU over Texas


Softball temchallenge update: 3-4 with a walk and 2 RBI. 2 hits to LF and 1 to RF. And we finally won. For the season, 8 for 10 with 3 walks and a sac fly.

Friday, August 28, 2009

What's your fantasy?

Philly crowd ate it up, loved Vick. 2nd play of the game, a pitch to the RB. This might actually work. Announcer keeps saying Jag-Wires. And Herman Edwards is really making no sense. Not like he was always a beacon of logiv but shit he really is making no sense. Enough Philly talk I'm seriously thinking of praying to the sports god to end O;FB and start O:FPHILLY.....

My fantasy thoughts,

I think Peterson is the 1 back, Forte second, Mojo third, Turner 4th and DeAngelo Williams 5th. I think if you are sitting at ninth or tenth in a league where 2qb's are needed you should draft one that early. Otherwise don't. BTW I have 3 drafts now on Sunday, $$ one was changed. I hope your happy Freak. Moving on, Larry Johnson lurks as a value pick because he seems rejuvenated and is still a horse, Ray Rice is silly good, man the Ravens have a great team, NS. That rushing attack, that defense and Cam Cameron calling more pass plays this pre-season is frightening. SJax is a beast, Tomlinson despite the frailty is a hell of a bargain at 7th or 8th. Glen Coffee, Gore's backup. Donald Brown in Indy like I mentioned might take over THIS year if Addai doesn't stay healthy. Bernard Scott might win the backup job in Cincy he's looked really good in pre-season action.

My Top 5 WR's. Fitz, Moss, Andre, Steve Smiff and Greg Jennings. Sleepers let's go woth Donnie Avery, Steve Breaston, Miles Austin and this Pierre Garcon kid in Indy, I believe he'll see some slot action and we remember Manning to Stokley from that slot. Also Davone Bess is interesting. Troy Williamson making noise in the JagWires camp. Is he finally ready?

My top 5 QB's, Brady, Manning, Brees, Rodgers, and then .....Warner I guess. Got a bad feeling about Warner though, I think he's one hit away from being retired. Concussion type situation. So 5-A I'd go with Rivers I guess. I think Shaun Hill a decent get real late, especially if you want to go cheap at QB. If Warner goes down Leinart would put up good numbers just based on that WR corp. Not even Kellen Clemens could fuck up that situatuon. Carson Palmer scares me a bit but can put up huge numbers if he plays 16 games. Flacco and Ryan are the truth. No sophmore slumps. Bounceback year for Hasselback, TJ House, Branch and that kid TE I like Carlson.

TE is not really important if you miss out on Gates, Gonzalrez, Witten and Clark. After those guys who cares. A TE sleeper for my money would be none other than the Shank. Career high 42 catches and 8 TD's last year with no QB.

Defense and kickers YAWN.

Tidbits:

Braylon Edwards is in his first contract year, also in a contract year (other than the TO's and other one year deals):

Vincent Jackson, Chris Henry, Breaston, Mark Clayton, Chris Chambers, Ronnie Brown, Rick Williams, Pierre Thomas, Willie Parker, Sphroles, Lendale, Le'Ron McClain, Orton, Penningtion, and J. Campbell.

Check fantasy playoff periods, Rayan Grant has a tough three weeks, right in the middle of fantasy playoffs. Arizona has a easy skate during those three weeks. That is important. Don't draft Browns, Bucs or Jets (other than Leon Wash) if you don't have to.

See ya Sunday.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Thursday Ramblings...

I thought about putting up 4 posts to give tem back his 5s and 0s, but don't want to start that war. It could turn out to be the new Sparta, and I don't want to be responsible for that.

Brett Favre is causing a "schism" in the Vikings locker room. According to Adam Schefter (how long has he worked for ESPN ), half of the vikings support Tavaris Jackson and half think Sage rosenfels gives them the best shot to win. Very little support for Brett. This is hilarity. At least last year the Jets' players waited until AFTER the season to voice their displeasure with Favre. Talk about sabotaging a season before it begins. Picking up Favre was a solid move.

The Philly NAACP and some clergy association plan to march around The Linc tonight in support of Michael Vick. So they are basically protesting a protest. Right. Good luck with that. The Eagles have actually asked them not to do this to avoid an "ugly scene." God I love sports. Nothing else produces these types of storylines.

Speaking of the NAACP, isn't it about time they change their name? The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. The term colored people seems very outdated. I'm pretty sure if I called a black guy colored, I'd get thrown a beating. I'm just sayin'

So the 9th circuit court of appeals found that the gubment had no right to seize the list of 104 names from the 2003 tests, only 10 or so that were the subject of their investigation. Thanks for that, but it seems like too little, too late. The cat is out of the bag. Nothing will change the fact that hundreds of people have now seen this list and the names will come out. Now that the case is (hopefully) resolved, unless the government appeals for the 4th time, baseball should just release the list, take their lumps, and finally move on.

Lastly, on a serious note, today and tomorrow is the Jimmy Fund Radio Telethon. For those of you unfamiliar with this charity, it supports the Dana Farber Cancer Institute here in Boston. They do amazing things there in leading the charge to find treatments and eventually a cure for cancer, especially in children. If you find some time today, listen online to WEEI radio and some of the stories of both the triumphs and tragedies of this cause. And I'd you can muster any funds, I can't think of a better cause to donate to. While the DFCI is in Boston, people come from all over the world to be treated. So please do what you can. www.jimmyfundradiotelethon.org

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Chad Is Not My Son.

So they're still playing a lot of Mike Jackson on the radio, and I am convinced that in the song Billie Jean he says "The Chad Is Not My Son" in the chorus. Some people say it's "The Kid", but if you listen to that song, I swear to Jeebus that he says "The Chad". I'm telling you. The Chad, it's science*.

I went to a Steakhouse Saturday night and had the best steak I've ever had in my life, hands down. Mastro's Steakhouse. It was EXCELLENT. No need for hot sauce on my steak AT ALL. There are like three in Scottsdale, I don't know how far that is from our AZ peeps, but I highly recommend it. It's not cheap either, we had a $125 gift card and we spent almost exactly that much out of pocket. I still have dreams about the lobster mash potatoes; they were so good. And seriously, it was best steak I've ever had. I wish Obama and/or Congress would come up with some kind of Universal Steakhouse Bill where you pay a monthly premium and then when you go to eat a steakhouse, you have like a $10 co-pay. And there could be an HMO version, which places like Outback and Sizzler would participate in and there there would be a PPO option, which the more expensive steakhouses would be affiliated with. Yeah, these are the kinds of things I think about.

I've got a bachelor party to go to Saturday night and then I've got three fantasy football drafts Sunday afternoon. So this weekend is going to be pretty rough. Two of them are LoV drafts. So if you see me drafting Tight Ends in the fourth round and defenses and kickers in the eighth and ninth rounds, you'll know that I'm probably operating at 50% capacity. At the very most.

Last night was sweepers for my summer bowling league. One dude took 13 out of a possible 14 money envelopes for the pairs. He went home with loot. I had an average series and did not go in with him, so I did not win any money. Woesauce.

So you can buy Simmons new book from Randomhouse for $30, or from Amazon for $19.80. Hmmmmm, I wonder where I'm going to get it from. And even though my hate for Simmons has been well documented, but I am interested to see what he has to say about basketball for 700 pages. I am preparing for 650 pages covering the Celtics and Larry Bird, with the other 50 pages focusing on the rest of the entire history of basketball.

Hey, so, this is a sports blog, right? Maybe I should write about sports. El P, you need to tell your boy Plax to just stop talking. Every time I turn on my TV, he's doing an interview. Knock it off, you do that after you get out in two years to rebuild the rep. No one is going to remember you media blitz in two years. Save it until you're out on parole.

So half of the Mets are on the DL. I'm not kidding, with Yo-Han* and Putz, they have TWELVE players on the DL. That's crazy talk.

Philip Rivers got $92 million for six years, huh? Wow, that is a giant contract. Apparently the Chargers aren't affected by the crappy economy and they have plenty of money to spend. They are also going to have to trade him or cut him in about three or four years when LT has lost seventeen steps and the team is in last place.

This Dodgers situation is getting out of hand. Their lead is now down to two games and they have two more games in Colorado. I am worried. The pitching situation is now just a complete debacle.

Speaking of debacles, this Michael Beasley story is just crazy. He's had a meltdown and is going to rehab and that was just after one year of playing professionally for a team that was in the lower half of the playoffs in the weaker conference. So, what's going to happen if they make the Finals at some point and they lose? That would be one rough off-season. Good luck trying to move him now, Riles.

Ok, that's enough, I'm done.



*I know this is going to drive Kod crazy and he will make a comment about my well-known rep for ruining 80's song lyrics.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

NOT REAL

License Plate

I didn't see this plate, but I wish I did. And I wish some rockin' chick with huge boobs was driving it. Then I'd know her rack wasn't real. Generally speaking I am OK at identifying fake boobs (in person, I am terrible with photos). But it is a skill I could refine and get better at.

The key to life is to better yourself everyday.

The key to a happy life is to better yourself in ways you want to everyday.

temthought

Tem is a big Family Guy fan. Funny show. Totally retarded, but I don't watch TV to see reality or drama. If I wanted those things I'd go outside and talk to people. I watch for comedy and action. My life isn't as funny as TV and I rarely see explosions or disasters. So I will watch TV for that. Anyway, the following is a list of things that I am surprised Family Guy has not made fun of:

Saved By The Bell
Family Matters (especially Urkel)
Perfect Strangers
Step By Step
Full House
Wendy, the Wendy's mascot chick
Michael Vick
Hagar The Horrible
Miley Cyrus
Rachel Ray
American Gladiators


temrant

Hmm, well two days in a row now I have been in good moods. I don't know what gives. I am thinking that something happened to my brain. Maybe I have a tumor. It's like when John Travolta got smart in that one movie...I am just getting nice. Well not nice, because generally speaking I am nice, but I am getting in better moods. Seriously, it is like I have news for you, but I don't. If I ever get news for you then I might break a personal happy record.

Seriously though, something must be wrong.

temsports

I am not sure Jaws and Gruden are going to work out very well together. Gruden tells a lot of the same kind of stories that Jaws does. Jaws is going to have to stop telling stories. Yesterday they were talking about how Mike* Sanchez played at USC so the weather was always great but now he will have to play in crappy weather. So Gruden said something about how he would dump water on the balls (footballs) when trying players out to make sure they could throw a wet ball. Then Jaws said, that he has heard of coaches putting balls (footballs) in a bucket of water and having the players throw them to make sure they could throw a wet ball....ummm, that's basically the same story. Knock it off Jaws.

As for WVU football I am torn. They could go 3-9, they could go 12-0. I don't know. My thoughts on their season change depending on my mood. I don't think the 3-9 or 12-0 are very likely, but they are possible. Their schedule isn't tough, at least compared to say OSUs or USCs or UFs or heck, even Notre Dame plays a tougher schedule. Anyway, that's that.

Rockies rubbing it in with a walk off slam. That's not nice.

Rose over Beasley will be the anti Bowie over Jordan pick. It will never be questioned.


tem movie review

This week I had a chance to see an advanced screening of Halloween II. I didn't go. But if I did I think the movie would have been pretty good. Halloween is a good holiday. It sucks for the parents who walk around with their kids, but other than that it is all good. You get to send your kid out of the house for a couple hours. Then they come back with candy and they have to behave otherwise you don't let them eat any of it. Win win.

Anyway, so some smart parent said, "you know what? we need a spring halloween." This parent decided to call it Halloween II. I guess their ingenuity ended with dreaming up the scheme and they are not strong in the "naming" department.

Anyway, this movie is a kids movie about spring Halloween. I advise all parents to take their children to this movie as kids love Halloween. Age doesn't matter, even 2yr olds love them some Halloween. Costumes and free candy in the Spring! So yes parents, take the kids and let them enjoy a world where they get free candy twice a year.

2.5 helmet stickers out of 5. (This is the max a new kids movie can score on the temscale. Old kids movies that tem saw when he was a kid score higher)

Monday, August 24, 2009

Mess are the worse

I did not think I was going to be able to post tonight because my dog chewed the power cord for my laptop in half. I emailed mize from my phone to have someone else post. But I got home from softball tonight and realized I have some electrical tape, so I used my science skillz and spliced the cord and taped it up and voila, good as bnew.

From last night....
The Rev said...
First time in MLB history that a game has ended on an unassisted triple play.

Or not. Rev shamforded that one. *ahem* IN DE FACE, REV! But the play was pretty suite, and it happening against the Mess this year just rubs a little hot sauce (just an ounce) in LP's wound.

I was out of town all weekend, so I didn't see any fooyball. I heard today that some punters were kicking footballs off the scoreboard in Dallas and Jerry Jones was pisst or something. I got stupid drunk on Saturday with an afternoon of golf and spending the evening in an area known as Whiskey Row. But I didn't puke. I almost did, but fought through it. Me & 5 buddies ran up about a $300 bar tab. And every time we did a shot, the server we had did the shot with us. She was fucked up at the end of the night. She made up some shot to give us that was pretty suite. Midori, Malibu rum, pineapple juice, with a layer of Jager on top. I recommend it for everyone. I'm not a huge Jager fan, but this shit was pretty tasty. Our server called the shot a Masturbating Butterfly. WADR to Beth, this chick is the best waitress in the world. She had at least 1 drink in front of us the entire night. Didn't have to ask for a refill once. We hook her up with a suite tip every year when we go so she makes sure that we're always over-served. Here we are on about our 4th round.


Dude from Megan Wants a Millionaire apparently thought he was a jacket. Police found him hanging in a closet at a hotel. When will people learn? Hopefully he didn't have a cable tied around his nuts. And by the way, NFW that chick he kilt was a supermodel. Her face is pretty beat. Unless all the pics they show on the news stories are of how she looks now. That would be pretty cool. I still think it's awesome that since her fingers and teeth were gone, they identified her body by the serial numbers on her breast implants. I didn't even know those things has serial numbers.

Softball temchallenge update: 2-2 with a sac fly and a walk, 3 RBI. For the season (2 games) 5 for 6.

That is all. I need to sleep.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Lambeau

So today's football post centers around my 2006 trip to Green Bay Wisconsin. Leg #2 of my Football Tour, a quest in which I will visit every NFL stadium within 20 years or so. When I get rich that'll shorten to like 10 years. Anyway this trip was by far my favorite and the only reason to go to Wisconsin. WADR meiz. I wish we had the camera when we drank in the hotel bar or when I stood at the sports bar wiating for food in a ginny-t and no shoes. Cuz that was fun. I tried to put a caption on each pic but the blogger is being the bitch with that so ask me questions if you need to know what shit is. I'm downtown til 10:30 so miss me. P.S. I am the guy in the gray sweatsuit.




















Thursday, August 20, 2009

H on Entourage and the myth of NFL scheduling parity...

I'm quite sick of hearing about the NFL striving for parity through their strength of schedule. It is a complete farce. Every year coming into the season, we hear complaints about teams' schedules. This team's schedule is too easy based on last year, that team's is too hard. Morons. Each year 14 of the 16 games on your favorite team's schedule is predetermined YEARS in advance. You play each team in your division twice (6 games). And every team in your division plays each team in another division within your conference (4 games) and every team in a division in the other conference (4 games). These 8 games are known way in advance. So only 2 games or 12.5% of the schedule is the result of last year's performance. But I guess kudos to the NFL for convincing the average fan of this myth.

Has anyone else been peeping game on this season of Entourage? I gotta say, it can be eerie when art imitates life. That is sort of happening with the Eric, Sloan, Ashley story arc. It is always awkward watching episodes with FB (that's f**k buddy, not Facebook). I think she is starting to realize that she is the Ashley to ExfmH's Sloan. This could end badly.

Memo to President Obama: Get off my fu**ing TV! Seriously. I'm not ready to make a decision on his presidency yet. It is still too early for that. But doesn't he have a country to run? We are facing a hugh economic crisis, a divisive health care situation and war on two fronts. Why is he hosting NASCAR drivers at the white house??? Do your job and stop trying to be a rockstar. You have more important things to address.

Memo to Brett Favre: just tell whatever team you want to play for that you don't want to go to training camp. This retire/unretire BS is getting tired. We've seen this movie before. It's boring.

Hey ESPN, Favre is not the Messiah. There are other things going on in sports. I get it. It's a story. It doesn't need to occupy half an hour of SC. Get it together.

I think I'm done...though I am a bit fired up today so I may update later.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Jesus Chris.

BRET FAVRE IS BACK!!! PRAISE ALLAH!!!

God. Dammit. All. To. Hell. I am so pissed I can't think of anything else to right*. Seriously, Bret, I hate you. Why would you do this to us? You got our hopes up that you had retired and then you dash them by signing with the Vikings. I hope they serve beer in hell Bret, cuz that's where you're going.

That's all I've got. I am too emotionally drained from this news to write any more. Godmanit all to hell.

Monday, August 17, 2009

GOT EVN

License Plate

Saw GOT EVN on some chick's mustang. She was OK enough looking. She should have asked for a boob job instead of a Mustang. Also when did the Mustang become a chick car? I must have missed the memo. I know the Eclipse is a chick sports car, but I was unaware that the Mustang was too. People need to read me these memos.

mini temrant

WFT is with the articles I read ranking the recruiting classes of 2011??? Jebus Chris, I don't even know where to start. 2011 is a long way away, stop it. I wish I was allowed to shoot people legally.

mini temwoe

Approaching what would have been my 2yr anniversary. It is weird how one decision can change your life so much. I mean it wasn't like I didn't know cancelling a wedding was a huge decision, but if I had known where it would lead me I wouldn't have cancelled it. OK, maybe I would have and I guess that proves that it was the right decision, but damn chain reaction events be tough, you. By the by I wrote that part while kinda drunk last night. I guess I'll leave it in.

mini temrant 2

Why is it OK that the new Michael Strahan sitcom is called Brothers??? Would it be OK if it was called that and about 2 white guys? I say no...You know what, if it was it would be called Two and a Half Men. Yeah, Strahan's new show is basically Two and a Half Black Men. They should have just called it that. Or just Black Two and a Half Men. At least then I'd know the plot ahead of time. I'd still watch it. Although they showed 3 jokes on the commercials and 2 were about his teeth. It's got that wheelchair guy in it too. I like him, he is funny. Sucks for him that he is in a wheelchair.

mini temmentary

This Big Bang Theory show isn't too bad. I mean it is pretty dorky, but I guess I kind of like dorky. I get the jokes and that makes me feel better about myself. Smart people jokes are A OK.

Sports Talk

Nice ending to the preseason game last night. L Pad was probably jumping for joy. Was on the phone while I watching it so I had it on mute. Still haven't got to hear Chucky talk. From what I hear he isn't terrible. Good for him.

Nationals signed that good pitcher. I wonder when he will show up and pitch for them. They suck so bad they minus well throw him out there tomorrow. The results will be similar.

Paulus will start at QB for the Orange. Wow. Just wow. They must suck a lot. I can't imagine him making it through the whole year as a starter. I don't get it. I guess the coach thinks they have a shot at doing something this year...otherwise it might have been better to let a young guy get some experience. Is this coach on the hot seat? I can't remember if he is new or old. If he is old he is probably on the hot seat.


tem movie review

Big Fan


This movie is coming out soon. It is some sort of cartoon from those cartoony guys. It is done in super cool CGI or whatever. Anyway, this movie is about some scientist's plan to stop global warming. He is going to build a big fan to cool the world down.

So he goes about his business trying to get funding to build this big fan, but nobody wants to give him money. Really none of this part of the movie was funny. I am not sure why anyone would watch it. Finally he decides to put a 2nd mortgage on his house and build his big fan. Of course I don't get how the numbers add up there, but whatever.

So he builds his big fan and turns it on. It basically blows the shit out of Kansas. Trailers fly everywhere. It is a success, everyone is happy. The people who just had their shit blown away don't seem too happy, but the government is, so the scientist gets all his bills paid and they move the big fan out to sea.

The big fan blows the cool air down from the north pole onto the US and Canada. In a mini story arc it is discovered that the scientist did in fact make it an oscillating fan, so Canada can get cool too.

Then the movie ends. I guess that was it.

I can't say I really got this movie, but the animation was great.

1 helmet sticker out of 5.

Hey young world, I'm the new Slick Rick

Is it just me or do these goddman weekends get shorter and shorter? I think this weekend lasted like 15 minutes. Remember when you were a kid and it seemed like every day took forever to get through? Where did those days go? Is that what responsibility does to a person, making their life feel shorter? Fuck responsibilities.

Mess place Wright on the DL. Fuck DWright, that's what he gets for shitting on my $FMLB roster the first half of the year. Don't get me wrong, I kid about this because it appears that he's alright, but yeah, fuck that guy. And those Mess jerseys with the N on one side and Y on the other side are fucking ugly (fugly, to the layperson). They Mess will probably pull a Ewing theory and go on a winning streak now that everyone is on the DL. Ah, who am I kidding?

Thanks to rev, I get all the 0 & 5 posts now. IN YOU FACE, TEM!!

O:FB continued this weekend as the Red Sux lose the series against the Rangers, and in the process fall out of the WC lead. I ♥ O:FB. The only operation I like more than O:FB is this one.

Usain Bolt is fast. LP's favorite sprinter finished a distant 2nd, but set a new USofA record.

I don't really have anything to say about Tiger Woo. The Korean showed huge stones and basically ended the tourney when he chipped in for eagle. Like zeke said, Tiger was SHOOK.

I just watched that Gina Carano MMA fight from this weekend on YouTube. 1) Women's MMA is awful. 2) Gina got her as. beat up pretty good. 3) Let's move on.

Softball update: This week was our first game of the season. Last week's game was just a qualification game to see which division we were gonna play in. We jumped out to a 10-0 lead after 2 innings tonight, and we ended up losing 17-16. Stings the nostrils. 3-4 with 2 singles and an inside the park HR for me tonight. All three hits to right field, tem.

That is all.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

3 years and 849 posts later...

Three years ago on this day, we all got together, threw off the shackles of the man we called DB, and started this man cave of a blog.

(OK... it's a man cave with a smokin' hot occasionally swinging both ways chick that hangs out with us, which all man caves should have, I think.)

I'm not getting mushy over this. But really, I only have one thing to say to all of you people who visit and comment on this blog on a daily, or somewhat daily basis.

Do you people realize that you just spent the last three years of your life commenting over and over again on a blog? I mean, some of you have families and jobs and stuff, don't you? Really, what's with you people? You should be reading a book or something.

Of course, WADR to all of you.

I continue to be amazed that you all stuck around this long. It's actually mind-bottling. Thank you for entertaining all of us this long.

Happy anniversary, bitches! I will now type the following sentence in Hindi since Blogger lets me do that...

विवा ला रेवोलुशन

Translation... VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Hey Rook

These next few weeks I'll be in football mode with the posts so I hope that makes mouths happy. This week I'm looking at the rookie class and trying to figure out who will have an impact right away.

I'll start with Percy Harvin because obviously his workouts and training camp reports have been phenomenal. He's really fucking fast and can really give that offense a jolt. Something different other than AP off tackle. Also he's returning punts. Think Eddie Royal or DeSean Jackson and their rookie campaigns. Pack's first round pick is not even signed so I can't imagine him making that much of an impact. He's a horse though so hopefully he gets in there soon. They have no other rookies that I think will impact this season. If Clay Matthews wins one of the OLB's jobs I'd be surprised. 2nd year man Jeremy Thompson is winning that war as of right now. Remember the Pack are not a 3-4 defense. (UPDATE: RAJI signed)For Detroit obviously Stafford is the guy to watch. Starting a re-tread like Culpepper would not be wise. In Chicago it's a bit of a stretch to think Jauquin Iglesias can make an impact but he is the only guy that might crack the roster high enough to get some playing time. I doubt it though.

Despite what it means to my boy Mike Hart the Donald Brown pick really gave the Colts a solid #2 and a surefire replacement #1. No doubt about it I think Brown is going to start if not this year (other than the annual Addai injury) then most definitely next year. Addai just cannot stay on field and had arthroscopic knee surgery this past off season. Addai also enters the last year of his deal in 2010. Brown is a Peyton Manning dream in that he works hard, blocks well and does not turn the ball over. Titans punter rookie A.J Trapasso is a man! Also Kenny Britt should fit in nice. Don't know a rookie on the Jags roster that will make an impact that does not play the tackle position. And as far as the Texans go it's clear Brian Cushing has the OLB job however he is pretty banged up so his camp time is in jeopardy.

I have to mention Pat White or tem would kill me. However I think with the birth of the Wildcat a player like White can excel. Shonn Greene for the Jets is a kid to watch along with the obvious Mark Sanchez anointment. In Buffalo Aaron Maybin has yet to sign so he would be the only impact player they have this year and now his holdout jeopardizes that. Darius Butler is going to crack the rotation for sure, nickel packages at the very least.

Obviously Jeremy Maclin can do some things in Philly as can LeSean McCoy. As far as the Giants, first round pick Hakeem Nicks is not the guy I'm looking at to make an impact. Ramses Barden, 7th rounder out of Cal-Poly is really starting to turn heads at camp. Making catch after catch. He's a Plax-like 6'6 which is a whole lot taller than me. Think red-zone. Skins pick Brian Orakpo seems to be getting good practices in as the SAM linebacker. Probably your starter at that spot. Cowboys have a nice young linebacker in Brandon Williams but I don't think he's going to have much of an impact this year.

Crabtree is not going to do shit this year if he keeps this holdout up. I love how the Niners are acting like they don't give a shit. It's refreshing. Nate Davis is hoping to make the roster, I'm Jason Whitlock? Also the 49ers have been practicing a version of the Wildcat, calling it "Taser". So maybe a Glen Coffee sighting? If Beanie Wells can stay healthy I imagine him having a solid rookie season as the backup to that bulldozer Hightower. Aaron Curry will be making alot of tackles and alot of money after getting into camp 8 days late 34MM dollars richer. Legion of Doom spawn starts at MLB for the Rams. Nuff said.

As far as the Champs go they drafted well, no real impact players for this year but they grabbed two starters for their O Line. Ulrbick and Shipley. Ravens rookie CB Lardarius Webb could potentially be on the field quite a bit. The Browns suck and Mangini sucks. But Mohammed Massaqoui is the #2 WR so he might be making plays this year. Doesn't appear any Bengal will have an impact on the team this year. With Andre Smith unsigned, the rookie class after him is a bit weak.

Chargers are so loaded they don't need the 09' draft classes help. Broncos will rely on Moreno early and often. KC will rely heavily on both Tyson Jackson and Alex McGee, two key cogs on the down line. Heyward-Bey is the guy in Oakland. McFadden is going to have a huge sophomore year btw.

Panthers rookie DE Everett Brown is having a great camp, could make an impact for Carolina this year. I'm trying to find a rookie on Tampa's roster that could make an impact but I can't find one. I'd be shocked if they won 4 games this year. That roster looks like it got beat by the "scrub" stick. I'll give you Josh Freeman's name because Leftwhich is done and McNown will fail. Peria for the black birds is going to be solid. Malcolm Jenkins missed some time due to a contract holdout but he's talented enough to end up starting mid-season. He'll be solid.

News broke about Vick and I am still shocked. What are the Eagles going to do with him? Wildcat? McNabb is so sensitive this has to hurt his feelings. I can't believe it. This needs more thought. Talk amongst yourselves.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Here's your request and dedication...

I gotta say, I miss hearing Casey Kasem on the radio. I used to listen to AT40 every Sunday morning. It was fantastic. My favorite part of the show was always the long distance request. I mean it didn't matter what was going wrong in your life. Wife left you? Lost your house? Injured in a freak smelting accident? Just request a song from "Casey" (his real name is Kamel Amin Kasem), and every thing would be ok.

In that spirit, I'd like to send out a couple requests and dedications.

First to EP, I'd like to dedicate "Wishing on a Star." Don't worry, little buddy, someday someone will ask you to grab something off the top shelf. Until then, keep trying to convince yourself that you're average height.

Next, I'm sending out Shaggy's "It wasn't me" to Rick Pitino. The reason for this is two fold. First, you know he nailed that girl in many freaky places. Second, I'm sure he tried the "wasn't me" defense at first.

Lastly, "I kissed a girl" goes out to Beth. Either by Jill Sobule or Katie Perry, whichever you prefer. No further explanation required.

So the Flyin Hawaiian got a beer tossed on him last night. I didn't see the play, but I imagine it took some good concentration to still make the catch. Given the way he went crazy on that umpire on Sunday, I'm surprised Shane didn't pull a Ron Ron and go into the stands. Stay classy, Chicago.

This is getting long so I will just say that it takes a lot of efforting to post from a blackberry.

That's all for today. Read, laugh, comment. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Eight Fody Sex.

So we're no longer a SPAM™ blog? That sucks. I wonder who reported us? Shamhoff? Mills? Corby? With the amount of people we've pissed off, that list could go on for a very long time.

I'm tired of getting updates that "Michael Vick is close to signing with a team". ESPN just copy/pastes that headline into about 8 new articles a day. He was close like five weeks ago. Sign a contract already, a-hole.

Pow! Gasol! broke some fin-gers and is out for three weeks. Did someone start up an O:FLA when I wasn't looking?

Don't Put Baby in the Corner: Big Baby gets a contract; 2 years, $6mill. I think I read a Simmons article where he was breaking down one of his imaginary trades (surprising that he'd write about such things) and in the one that involved Big Baby he described him as a "proven playoff performer". Um, yeah, you might want to sit the next couple out, Bill. Speaking of Simmons, he conned his editor into accepting a photo blog about going to the National Sports Collectors Convention. He has got to have pictures of his editor with an under-age intern somewhere.

The Pedro/O:FP era begins. Moyer and his 46-year-old arm goes to the bullpen. Pedro "hasn't had double digit wins since 2005 (15-8), his first with New York". Man, the Mets really know how to overpay for vets who are past their primes, don't they? (Don't feel bad EP, the Dodgers do a lot of that too; my favorite example: they're still paying Jason Schmidt)

Thank-you Kurt Rambis (an excellent NBA photo blog) posted this the other day. I haven't been around much lately, so I haven't gotten Kod's reaction to Rambis as the Twolves new head coach. I'm assuming he hates it.

In other Twolves news, president David Kahn says that the Ricky Rubio buyout situation is "still very problematic". Way to go there, like you couldn't have seen that one coming from a mile away. He also dropped this gem:

"He also clarified his position on playing Flynn and Rubio together with the Timberwolves. When he drafted the point guards back-to-back in June, Kahn said he saw the two playing off each other much the way Detroit's smaller backcourt of Isiah Thomas and Joe Dumars did with the Pistons."

Good luck with that one, Dave.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

GOBKYIZ

License Plate

Today is the commonly seen GOBKYIZ. This means Go Buckeyes for the license plate deciphering impaired. I am not sure why they needed to Y, but whatever. There are approximately 1,000,000 such license plates in Columbus. Or at least variations thereof. I think the Buckeyes must be popular.

By the by Freak sent me an email with some funny license plates from around the US. They were funny as heck, I might not share them with you all because that's how I roll.

mini temrant

I am getting a little sick of movie starting times. They freaking list a movie starting at 8:00pm but the previews don't even start until 8:15 at the earliest. The dang movie won't come on for another 15 minutes. It is a little ridiculous. I don't want to walk in 10 minutes late and actually be 20 minutes early. In other news I will probably see GI Joe this weekend. Hopefully. I am hopeful that it is not ratarded.

Sports talk

Jose Rios to the Chisox. I guess they want to spend some money. Between him and Peavy I think they owe over $100 million. That's a lot of money for those two dudes. Expect heavy roster turnover for the Sox next season.

NASCAR race was Monday. Tony Stewart won. Whip de do. It was a road race. Back in the day Mark Martin used to be good at road racing. Now he is the worse. Not sure what happened. I think he might have stroked out and now can't make right turns.

Speaking of strokes I heard Lee Corso had one....Was it the Peter Gammons kind or the Dr. Z. kind? Why am I only hearing about this now? Because I am a little like L Pad I guess.

Lots of injuries in the NFL. No more than usual though. Plan your drafts accordingly. In my keeper auction, where this is my last year, my RBs were the bestest in 2004 or so. Larry Johnson, Joseph Addai, Jamal Lewis. I need a time masheen to take me to victory. I do have Javon Ringer, so maybe he'll come around for whoever manages the team in the future. I like me some fantasy football, but not with ratards who can't hold their blatters*.


tem movie review

All About Steve


This movie is coming out in September or something and good lord is it awesome. It is all about Steve. That's right. All About Steve is all about Steve. Our very own Steve gets another movie! After being a main player in What's Eating Gilbert Grape and then having a bit part in Something About Mary, Steve has hit it big time and has a movie all about him.

From morning to night the cameras follow him. It's like the Truman Show or that other movie that was basically the Truman Show but Matthew Mcwhatever was aware he was on camera. 24/7 of Steve. Can't miss movie. Will Steve find his baseball? Will Steve pass his spelling test? Answers to this and more can be found in All About Steve.

4 telmet stickers out of 5.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Ouch

I got concussed tonight, so there won't be much to this post. I was playing softball and was running out a grounder and got drilled in the temple from the throw by the shortstop. Not like the Mormon temple. But in the head. It hurt. Woe.

Tiger Woo is still good. He used new strategery this week. He played really slow at the beginning, backing away from the ball when he was ready to hit because there was a "bug" flying by his head. He did this numerous times. Then by the 16th hole, the group was 16 minutes behind "normal" playing time so the bossman said they needed to hurry up, and the Irish dude shoots a +3 on a hole and that was that. Tiger is like a golf scientist.

Fooyball* is back. I just saw the first quarter, but the fake punt for a TD was probably the best one ever. At least tem says so. And tem is a scientist, so there's that. I think the Oilers won, though.

I saw csil's boobies on Saturday night. Like, a lot. They're pierced. Noone should be SOS.

That's all I got. I need to go lay down. If I don't wake up, call 911.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Housewives of LOV

It's come to the point now that the NFL network is on all the time. I seriously have no idea what I would do without it. And have no clue how I lived a normal NFL life prior to not having it. CMEP hates HATESSSSSSSS football and now I can watch this shit from July - April (hardcore) it really bothers her. But I argue that her watching marathon episodes of Bravo's Housewives of Atlanta, NY, NJ, Orange County is just as bad if not worse. I mean those shows are downright awful. You talk about golddigging hookers and douche bags. If a Housewive show centered around some Boston cougars the world would just blow up. I mean really the douchness level and bitch-ass-ness of the womanz on that show is at a level, I just can't explain it. Your goal this weekend is to watch one of these episodes with your CMXX or FMXX and see what you're missing. I'm telling you that shit is rife with douchey hilarity, cougars with giant fake tits/tans and cattyness you've never witnessed befo'.

I'm declaring the Mets season over. All you haterz can rest now. Quick summary of the injuries because it really is unbelievable......
Met major injuries include Reyes, Beltran, Delgado, Niese, Maine, Putz.
Time spent on the DL by other players are : Perez, Schneider, Martinez, Cora, Church, Sheffield, and Castillo.

Let that marinate for a bit. Woe.

Charles Barkley. Raw. This is a must click link, if it's El Padrino I do not care.

Smoltz...psst. Smoltz... Enough dude. Stop it. Your ruining yourself. Go sell lawnmowers at Home Depot. In other O:FB news Ortiz will "speak on this" positive test. If he says he took some shit he didn't know had a banned substance in it I will not be Shocked nor Surprised.

I traded Sizemore in my keeper for Max Scherzer. I plan on keeping Mad Max going into next year. Thanks for showing up this year Grady. You were only my first round pick (9th overall). I hope an Indian groupie gives you AIDS. And not magic AIDS, like real shit. easy E shit. Rip Easy.

Fantasy football boner is halfway up. I imagine having the first pick and taking Purple Jesus. Then with the 24th/25th pick I'd try and get nice WR/QB combo.

These are my stories.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

This post is dedicated to Freak...

Freak has gone MIA. So the call to the bullpen came asking for the fat man. Bobby Jenks was unavailable. So here I am. Thanks for the chance, Freak. I'm pouring some chocolate milk on the concrete in your memory, youngin.

So we found on LOVad that Rev's head is growing. He must be takin 'roids Barry Bonds style. Speaking of steroids...

So Big Papi is on the infamous list. (He's so famous, he's infamous. Name that movie for bonus points.) I can't defend Ortiz. If his name is on that list, his whole career is tainted. Pointblank and period. I love the people who try to use the "he hasn't failed a test since" defense for any steroid guy. People seem to forget one thing. If it wasn't for a disgruntled track coach sending a syringe to federal investigators, we might still not know The Clear existed. Trust me, the next undetectable drug is out there and players are using it.

Funny cab story. I picked a guy up yesterday morning at 10 a.m. And brought him to a VFW. Picked the same guy up at 4 p.m. Obviously he was sauced. I asked if I was taking him home. He said "no, I need you to take me to the crackhouse. I'll show you where it is." NS

I'm done. Comment away.

Disclaimer: all times are EST.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Eight-fo-uno.

It's kind of a slow sports day, so I'll start off with some entertainment news:

This Saved By The Bell reunion thing is turning out to be a little bit more crazy than I thought it would be. Click here for the skinny.

Basketball HoF is going to open Jordan's exhibit before his enshrinement. He should have an entire wing of the building. Hopefully at some point, I will make the trip because that is something I would like to see.

The Bucks waived Bowen after they couldn't swing a trade. Turns out they misunderestimated* the market for 97-year-old defensive specialists who can only hit 22-foot 3-pointers. Yeah, I could have told you that one.

The Lakers cut Sun Yue. Time to eBay your Sun Yue jersey, Spiff, you don't want to end up on SCH.

Marshawn Lynch's three-game suspension was upheld. Bills head coach released this quote; "We'll lose a real good football player for three games. But, hopefully, Marshawn has learned a good deal from it." Um, yeah, I don't know who is more delusional; the Bills or the Bucks. I know they're not in the same sport, but they should really try and work out a Lynch for Bowen trade. Ok, I just looked it up and the Bill would have to throw in John McCargo (if he can pass a physical).

Simmons head would explode if ESPN came up with a trade machine where he could trade players from different sports. He would probably spend an entire day trying to add +25 wins to the Patriots (LeBron as their starting Tight End would be his first move) and then tell his editor he was "doing research". Man, that guy has an easy job.

Is it me, or does the Vikings Quarterback situation remind you of Spinaltap's drummer situation? They're just going to waste Purple Jesus' prime with mediocre QB's.

Volquez is going to have Tommy John surgery. It was nice knowing you Edinson. You burned bright for about a season and a half.

Brandon Webb also had shoulder surgery. My keeper team got an amazing 4 innings, 2 strikeouts and a 13.50 ERA from him this year. Thanks Brandon.

I will leave you with this wish: I wish that Michael Vick becomes a Green Bay Packer so he and Meiz can get an apartment together. I would Tivo the shit out of that reality show.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

ANT BEE

LYSNS PL8

Saw ANT BEE yesterday. Some 20 something year old kid was driving it. On a Prius. I haven't a clue, maybe he likes bugs. Maybe he used to have a Volkswagen beetle but then got all environmental on us. He is a pussy.

mini temrant

Where the hell did the phrase "blow smoke up your ass" come from? I'm not going to blow smoke up your asses, I have no clue where it originated. My guess is on Little House on the Prairie.

Sports Talk

Beanie Wells injured still is hilarity. And entirely predictable. That guy is more fragile than something that is really freaking fragile.

WWL says the best team in the AL is the Angels. Whatever, I have east coast bias, I didn't even know they still had a team out there.

I think it is funny that a coach for a college team commonly referred to as The Rainbows used a gay slur. And at first didn't get in much trouble, but then when people started bitching about it he did.

WWL says the Eagles lost LB Bradley....better check the pool.

UFC this weekend, tem is going with the upsets. Florian over Penn and Forrest over Silva. Tem doesn't think that either Silva or Penn really want it as bad anymore. They are in the "beginning parts of Rocky III" stages of their careers. I'll check the rest of the card later and make picks. I know The Barncat is fighting and I'll pick him. He looks so dorky and then steps into the octagon. He must be crazy, or have invented something that makes him awesome. Or he is Peter Parker.

Well I better go to work. I was supposed to be there 1 minute ago.



tem movie review'

Blue wanted me to review some movie. I forgot which one. Enlighten me and I will "watch" it and add a review on.

The Time Traveller's Wife

As Blue has stated this is a movie about the wife of the Incredible Hulk who starts to Time Travel. She is pretty much fucked in the husband department. Not only does her husband turn into a big green crazy dude, but also he time travels at the most opportune time....or does he???

Yes indeed, in a twist worthy of being mentioned along with Kevin Spacey is Kayser Soze and Bruce Willis is dead we find out that this husband never time travels. He is just a fucking genius and tells his wife he was time travelling....Bitch wants him to go to the store, bam, he can't, he was watching the Civil War and helping free slaves. Bitch wants him to go to the Opera, bam, he can't, he was in the future hanging out with their kids. Bitch wants him to clean the bathroom, bam, he can't, he was trying to help Jesus out.

I mean this guy does no freaking chores at all. He is a genius. And the best part is that she can't yell at him either. If she gets him mad he turns into a big green hulk and goes apeshit. Short story this guy has it made.

So basically this is a movie about a dude who turns green and destroys shit and avoids any and all housework.

4.5 telmet stickers out of 5. I'd give it 5, but this movie ruins a perfectly good excuse for getting out of chores.

Monday, August 03, 2009

ROMANCE! Look it up!

Tiger Woo, ya'll. On Thursday, this comment was made here towards the end of Tiger's first round: "tiger woo might miss another cut". Then he comes out and shoots -18 over the next 3 rounds and wins by 3 shots. I feel pretty secure in saying that there is probably not another golfer out there who people think could miss the cut, then dominate in a way that he doesn't even need to try on his last few holes of the tourney. Tiger missing the cut in The Open was bad news for the rest of the Tour. Last time he missed a cut (the US Open after his dad died), he finished 2nd in the next tourney and then won 7 in a row. This time he blew right past the 2nd place and has already started the streak of 7 in a row.

I guess Clifton was a good pickup for the Phils. I didn't realize, but they are a lefty loaded team, bolth* pitching and hitting. I fucking hate them and don't need to see any more of rev being insufferable, but I don't know of another team that has more talent than they do right now. That doesn't mean I think they'll win it all. Their bullpen is still shaky. They lost 2 of 3 to the Giants this weekend, but SF has been playing pretty well. If SF makes the playoffs (AHIIK), they'll be a tough matchup because they have 3 pretty solid starters and they've got a solid manager. The last 2 months of the season should be pretty suite. The NL Central & WC race will be tight. I dunno if anyone can catch Philly in the East. And all 3 AL races should be exciting.

Apparently it's all a joke now

Cmk & I went and saw Funny People this weekend. I wasn't especting* much going in. I had heard that it was a serious movie for Apatow, but I thought it was pretty goddman funny. The movie was too long, 2 1/2 hours. And the last 30 minutes brought down the level of the movie. But overall, I think it was a pretty solid movie. 3.5 out of 5 helmet stickers.

Comedy Central Roasts are the better. Right now I'm watching the most outrageous moments from the Roasts, and there is some funny shit. Watching Betty White say "cock ring" is pretty hilarity. It's weird that most of the people up on the dais are marginally talented comedians but when they're allowed free rain* to rank of people with unlimited profanities, all of a sudden they're hilarity. The only thing I don't understand is that Comedy Central bleeps out "fuck" but "shit" is ok. Fuck, they just showed Dane Cook roasting someone. This show just got ratarded. But they keep showing Pamela Anderson wearing a shirt that you can see bolth* of her nipples right through it.

Zeke will be happy to know that there's a new season of Real & Chance on VH1 that starts tonight. That is one of my favorite VH1 reality shows. Tonight I tried watching Megan Wants a Millionaire. Holy shit, what a plane wreck into a skyscraper that show is. 10 supremely awkward douchebags who happen to have money. None of them have any social skills whatsoever. You would think that you'd kind of need that in order to become a multimillionaire. Unless they're all computer or internets geeks. I didn't pay enough attention to it to see what they did. But I'll probably continue to watch it. I'm not scared.

So apparently the supreme leader in Iran just has to say "go" and they'll put together a nuclear bomb and blow up the world. I hope he doesn't say yes. I don't want shit to blow up. Unless it's after me, my kids, & their kids are dead. But by that time, the guy who has to give it the go ahead will probably be dead.

This is hilarity. What balls she has. If you're depending on your alma mater to find a job for you, then maybe you should give the diploma back to them.

I was gonna write more, but this is already probably too many scrolls. So go comment.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino