Wednesday, December 09, 2009

RIP Barrel Man

An iconic figure in NFL fandom has passed away. Tim Mckernan the Barrel Man died the other day because he smoked too much or something. Fans here are crazy, they think he should be inducted into the ring of fame, he already has a barrel in the Hall of Fame in Canton. All because he didn't want to be a weasel and lose a $10 bet. I won't post his picture because i'm sure everyone knows what he looks like, and that wouldn't be good for the TCS.

So the office holiday party was last night. Nothing like a bunch of drunk women opening shitty gifts. I had to put on my "oh this is nice" face that I learnt when I used to get presents from my grandma. Although this year we did something different and stupid, basically we did secret santa, but you had to buy that person something they would have enjoyed when they were between the ages of 6-18 and then we give that gift to some homeless charity thing.

It was kind of lame. I drew short mini-skirt lady who I should have fired a long time ago. She's like 50 something, so I thought that when she was 15 she would have liked a box of condoms. Cmblue talked me out of that, although I think the homeless shelter would have appreciated it. My second choice was a bottle of Jack Daniels, because i'm sure she liked to party back then...again cmblue shot it down. So I bought some of those ghey twilight books (because maybe she likes vampires). She opens them up and says, that's funny, I hate reading... Well they weren't for you anyway bitch...should have fired her on the spot. The food was horrible, the gifts were lame...I "got" a toy safe and a monopoly game, because i'm an accountant I guess. This just in, when I was that age, I didn't want to be an accountant. Oh well...at least the party is over, so I can go back to worrying about what to buy cmblue.

Last christmas rant and i'm done. So the other day, I get an email from my step grandmother about christmas this year. We have never spent Christmas together, because frankly, she's my step mom's mom, and I don't give a shit about that side of the family. Well this year we don't have any choice because cmblue is to pregnant to go anywhere so we're stuck here with that part of the family. Anyway...in this email she states that this year we're going to do a secret santa for all the people that will be at the celebration. (By the way, she hired a professional photographer as well for this Christmas) So, i'm not opposed to the secret santa idea per se, but the problem is that I want to get something for my parents and that's it, and maybe my sister. Instead, I drew my step-aunt's lesbian life partner, who i've met like one time. So beyond that, typically my Dad and Step-Mom usually buy each of their "kids" some gifts and blah blah blah. Well because of this awesome secret santa idea, i get screwed out of getting a blu-ray player from my pops this year. Fuck it, I said it, i'm selfish, who cares. The moral to the story, don't get your wife pregnant.

625 comments:

1 – 200 of 625   Newer›   Newest»
ToddPacker said...

barrel man will be missed

make daddy proud said...

they interviewed him in the hospital right before he died.

I half expected him to be wearing a barrel in the hospital

El Padrino said...

this was a great post

ToddPacker said...

"cmblue is to pregnant"

kevin will like this

El Padrino said...

step-anything gets awkward fast i bet

ToddPacker said...

"this was a great post"

yeah, nice work blue

El Padrino said...

i had no clue cmblue was preggers

congrats blue

El Padrino said...

that last comment was brought to you by SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

El Padrino said...

wow i just realized i'm not happy with the way things have shaped up this morning

El Padrino said...

between the rain, commute
my leg is still wet

and the problems here at work, someone will get donkey punched before noon

El Padrino said...

i got a feeling

that today someone will die

that today someone wi-iilllll dieee


ooooooooooooo

Beth said...

"I thought that when she was 15 she would have liked a box of condoms"

Hilarity.

El Padrino said...

today's the day
that someone dies
let's buy guns
and shoot them down

El Padrino said...

it's the remix

tem said...

from AD:

""Tem must've edited it"

uh-huh"


tem did edit it.

make daddy proud said...

temp when i left my house this morning was -16° with a windchill of like -34°

that's too fucking cold

kodiac said...

temp when i left my house this morning was -16° with a windchill of like -34°

that's too fucking cold

-that's about what it is here too; and yes, TFC and too early in the winter to be this cold

El Padrino said...

agreed, too early for that shit

i'd take that right now though

driving, windy downpour, cold

ToddPacker said...

"temp when i left my house this morning was -16° with a windchill of like -34°"

blue is speaking spanish today

ToddPacker said...

it's a chilly 76° in tampa today

ToddPacker said...

weather talk is always good

s

ToddPacker said...

nice remix, ep

Steve said...

TP. ---->

ToddPacker said...

"TP. ---->"

thank you

ToddPacker said...

my natty timing is getting better

ToddPacker said...

i wish tem would mix in some more trivia

ToddPacker said...

kelly will be the named new nd coach by friday - lou holth

make daddy proud said...

hahahah

chick on the radio is talking about using "plentyofish.com" had a few bad experiences...my guess is she dated Teej.

tem said...

through last post:

meiz 7
beth 6
blue 3
tp 9
lp 9
freak 3
h 7
jug 1
keith 15
kod 2
rev 1
spiff 5
steve 3
zeke 4


come on zeke. more blocks and newers are expected from you.

make daddy proud said...

skip holth would be a good fit at ND

tem said...

"i wish tem would mix in some more trivia"

scoring takes a long time.

make daddy proud said...

True

make daddy proud said...

did i get that trivia right?

tem said...

what was the nickname for tem's high school?

tem said...

"Well because of this awesome secret santa idea, i get screwed out of getting a blu-ray player from my pops this year. "

we do a gift exchange with the family, but my parents still buy me a gift and i get them gifts.

i don't think the secret santa thing prevents you or your dad from buying each other gifts.

tem said...

"did i get that trivia right?"

obviously wasn't trivia, but was funny. so points are awarded.

tem said...

i'm going to be more generous with points today. yesterday i was in a bad mood so everyone's TCS score suffered.

Beth said...

"what was the nickname for tem's high school?"

The In-breds?

Keef said...

"keith 15"


So I didn't get pts for the temrant. Shitty

tem said...

Nets won another game.

Kiki must be special.

Keef said...

"what was the nickname for tem's high school?"


The Cadets

tem said...

"So I didn't get pts for the temrant. Shitty"


kevin got them, but i didn't post his score.

tem said...

The Cadets = correct

tem said...

"The In-breds?"

that was grade school.

Keef said...

suite

tem said...

kevin is up to 4pts already

Beth said...

"that was grade school"

That should be worth partial credit then.

tem said...

your face is worth partial credit.

Beth said...

My face should be worth full credit.

tem said...

says you

El Padrino said...

"what was the nickname for tem's high school?"

T-Birds and he drove The Grease Lightning

Beth said...

"says you"

Yes, it was I who said that. You're sharp today tem.

tem said...

i'm on fire

make daddy proud said...

"i don't think the secret santa thing prevents you or your dad from buying each other gifts."

except that the parents sent out an email yesterday clarifying that they aren't buying presents for any of the kids, but they will buy for the grandkids.

whatever

make daddy proud said...

Elin's mom is fugly

tem said...

"except that the parents sent out an email yesterday clarifying that they aren't buying presents for any of the kids, but they will buy for the grandkids."

damn, that sucks.

tem said...

maybe kevin will buy you a new blu-ray player.

tem said...

did keef use facebook to figure out cadets?

make daddy proud said...

this is just funny

can't believe they're actually going to discuss this in congress

Beth said...

"did keef use facebook to figure out cadets?"

Who is keef?

tem said...

congress talks about too much shit they have no business talking about.

make daddy proud said...

" Matthew Sanderson, a founder of Playoff PAC, a political action committee aimed at electing members of Congress who favor a playoff system."

there is a PAC for this? insane

isiah thompson said...

to pregnant to


suite

tem said...

why doesn't the BCS just say it is a 2 team single elimination playoff? then according to the new "bill" they can call it a championship.

El Padrino said...

"Alpine Meadows, California, near Lake Tahoe received 42 inches of snow before the storm moved out of the region Tuesday afternoon. Pagosa Springs, Colorado, received 33 inches, and Flagstaff, Arizona, got 30, with similar amounts throughout the Rockies."


knowing is knowledge

isiah thompson said...

nice rant freak

personally I say you don't have to go along with the extended family secret santa idea.

get whoever you want gives and tell them you expect the same.

don't let someone you don't know/like dictate your christmas.

make daddy proud said...

Elin woods has a twin sister...

tiger probably banged her too

El Padrino said...

"Some legal prostitutes in Copenhagen aren’t too happy with city hall for issuing postcards to hotels during the UN climate summit with the message: “Be sustainable: Don’t buy sex.” So they’ll protest by offering freebies to anyone who can produce credentials for the summit or the postcard."

That's how business get's done.

El Padrino said...

don't let someone you don't know/like dictate your christmas.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

and give a middle finger pose when the "professional" photog tries to document your experience

or a gang sign

isiah thompson said...

trivia can't be stuff where the answer can only be obtained via FacePage* for people who don't do that.

ToddPacker said...

"or a gang sign"

funny

tem said...

then the people are doing what the cards said, they aren't buying sex.

tem said...

"trivia can't be stuff where the answer can only be obtained via FacePage* for people who don't do that."

you know where i am from.

there are 3 hike schools.

El Padrino said...

"Last night on her show Rachel Maddow, a renowned lesbian, confronted an author named Richard Cohen, a “formerly”gay dude who claims that he can now cure other people gayness, through Jesus or something."


first of all, there is no such thing as "formely" gay, the deal is you suck cock once your* a cocksucker for life

second, the video is hilarious

make daddy proud said...

doesn't everyone "buy" sex

it's called dating

El Padrino said...

"there are 3 hike schools."

only 3 hike sckools in wava?

tem said...

if you read comments you know i am from wheeling

tem said...

actually mt. olivet, but both have been put on here.

make daddy proud said...

olivet the other reindeer

tem said...

your face is a reindeer

Beth said...

"your face is a reindeer"

-2 points for Tem in the TCS for using that joke again too soon after he used it the 1st time today.

tem said...

i always lose TCS

El Padrino said...

"actually mt. olivet, but both have been put on here."

i love the bread and butter pickles from there

Beth said...

(Cue: "your face used that joke again too soon" response from Tem.)

Beth said...

"i always lose TCS"

That's pretty sad considering you're the one setting the scores.

isiah thompson said...

if you read comments you know i am from wheeling

had no idear

ns

make daddy proud said...

i thought you were from Indiana

isiah thompson said...

I remember that Tem went to Kenyon Martin college though.

tem said...

it was actually kenyon dooling.

i wasn't street enough to get into kenyon martin.

tem said...

"That's pretty sad considering you're the one setting the scores."

i am not smrt.

Spaceman Spiff said...

kenyon dooling is hilarity

El Padrino said...

"Mets no longer Likely to trade Luis Castillo"


MOTHERFUCK!

El Padrino said...

wow weather is terrible everywhere but flo-rida

El Padrino said...

so says cnn

El Padrino said...

freaky and fuck al gore

El Padrino said...

is this El NINO?

El Padrino said...

my favorite NINO/NENO is none other than Neno Brown

Meiz said...

"Jesus, how long have you been saying that you're cutting back?"


What's your fucking point, Kevin?

Spaceman Spiff said...

diego sanchez sounds like a fag and makes it worse when he says things like

'come fight me BJ

fight me HARD'

Meiz said...

"tem did edit it."


Boo-Ya!

/hit in the eye with a football

ToddPacker said...

kevin is making me laugh

isiah thompson said...

kevin


::hot sauce::

ToddPacker said...

"kevin


::hot sauce::"


lovad

make daddy proud said...

keith is really kevin db?

ToddPacker said...

keith = kevin

Beth said...

Kevin either wanted us all to start calling him Kevin or he is not smrt.*

ToddPacker said...

kelvim > kevin

Beth said...

Kevin's comment from LOVad:

For some reason, anyone that meets me calls me Kevin. Annoys the shit out of me. I introduce myself as Keith, then the next time I see them they're like "hey Kevin". Fucking ratards.
Then tonight at work, HD asst mgr is walking by me. I hadn't met him before, so he looks right at my orange apron and says "Hey Kevin, how many nights have you been working?" Jesus Chris*, man. Can you fucking read?
People are fucking lazy and stupid and ratarded.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"The MTV building in Times Square was getting crazy threats and they are in the process of hiring more security, an insider told Tarts, adding that individuals involved with the press component on the show were being bombarded with abusive emails, phone calls and facebook messages - many of which involved death threats."

suite

ToddPacker said...

just spilt* diet dew all over my desk.... hit it with one of these plastic bins... moving sucks

El Padrino said...

In New Jersey, the legislature is poised to vote on whether gays can marry. In Uganda, they're debating legislation to kill them.

ToddPacker said...

Uganda is not grate*

isiah thompson said...

ah, Kevin

got it

thanks and regards

isiah thompson said...

did Kev tell us what his job doodies* are at HD?

El Padrino said...

teacher on the left, wow

p.s. I went to high school here my freshman year

ToddPacker said...

"did Kev tell us what his job doodies* are at HD?"

he's in charge of the "re-paint department"

tem said...

Kenyon is not near Uganda.

tem said...

that is an actual TShirt in the college bookstore.

Keef said...

"except that the parents sent out an email yesterday clarifying that they aren't buying presents for any of the kids, but they will buy for the grandkids."


Tell pops that bgblue wants a blu-ray player for her spongebob movies

Keef said...

"did keef use facebook to figure out cadets?"


I did not use facebook.

ToddPacker said...

"Tell pops that bgblue wants a blu-ray player for her spongebob movies"

smat

Keef said...

On my work computer, which blocks facebook

Keef said...

"That's how business get's done."


Jesus, with the apostrophe's*

tem said...

"I did not use facebook."

in de face

Keef said...

"What's your fucking point, Kevin?"

That you don't really want to quit smoking. You've been "cutting back" for ages

El Padrino said...

freak Sorgi shut down

El Padrino said...

hello curtis painter for week 15, 16

isiah thompson said...

"What's your fucking point, Kevin?"



YOU LIE!

Keef said...

"Beth said...
I think from now on Keith/Keef should be known as Kevin. He should know better than to put a vent like that on here."


Doesn't bother me when it's a joke. It's just ratarded when people don't pay attention

isiah thompson said...

Doesn't bother me when it's a joke. It's just ratarded when people don't pay attention

wait, I thought his real name was Kevin and we called him keef as a yoke*?


/ep

Keef said...

"did Kev tell us what his job doodies* are at HD?"


Thought I did when I started. Stocking inventory

Meiz said...

"That you don't really want to quit smoking. You've been "cutting back" for ages"


2 months is ages?


Being down to 5 cigarettes a day from 20 is motherfucking progress.

Hater.

Keef said...

pretty sure you've been talking about quitting for longer than 2 months

Keef said...

zeke would destroy you in a quitting contest

tem said...

maybe he was talking about quitting something else before.

tem said...

don't even quit

/zeke

Keef said...

"maybe he was talking about quitting something else before."

He didn't quit it. He just put it on a pedestal

isiah thompson said...

zeke would destroy you in a quitting contest


^^^^^^^

Meiz said...

"#mlb #brewers The Brewers are moving fast on premier setup man LaTroy Hawkins and could sign him today"


Not sure how I feel about that one.

Spaceman Spiff said...

mother of the year

nsfw

Meiz said...

"pretty sure you've been talking about quitting for longer than 2 months"


So?

Keef said...

Breers have talked a lot about a bunch of different transactions but haven't really done much. Must be a Wisconsin thing

Keef said...

"mother of the year"


note to self

Keef said...

"So?"


So, apology accepted

El Padrino said...

hahahahaah that was funny pic spiff

Spaceman Spiff said...

"note to self"

nsfw doesnt always mean boobies

El Padrino said...

"note to self"

wait, refresh my memory
you dont sit at a desk right?

Keef said...

"wait, refresh my memory
you dont sit at a desk right?"


Correct

Meiz said...

"Breers have talked a lot about a bunch of different transactions but haven't really done much. Must be a Wisconsin thing"


A) Every team does this

B) Maybe if you actually liked the Reds, you'd follow them.

3) Sorry for sorry for putting some of my inner dialogue(monologue?) out into print.

isiah thompson said...

Sorry for sorry for


forced or suite?

El Padrino said...

cooking sous vide

El Padrino said...

"Correct"

so what keeps you from peeping game on nsfw links

El Padrino said...

more whores from tiger

this is almost unreal

El Padrino said...

i thought this guy was a fucking dork

El Padrino said...

turns out he is one of the best cocksmith of all time

El Padrino said...

"Veronica Siwik-Daniels — known to her fans as “Joslyn James” — considers herself a “full-time mistress” of Woods after years of servicing his ravenous sexual needs

Jungers met Woods in Las Vegas in 2005 while working as a so-called “Trashy Girl” for the Trashy Lingerie line. They supposedly cavorted without the knowledge of Woods’ wife, Elin Nordegren, for more than a year — and at the same time the curvy Jungers was engaged, the report says."

my ni**a

isiah thompson said...

cooking sous vide


suite but spendy for the contraption, in a few years though target will have them for 39$

Meiz said...

"forced or suite?"


Goddman. Suite. I do it all the time, I usually catch it.




Gotta start using the preview button.

/beth

isiah thompson said...

more whores from tiger

this is almost unreal

I'm calling bullshit on some of these whores.

Meiz said...

"my ni**a"


Lean back, nigga is okay

my nigga is not



That makes sense.




s

El Padrino said...

bullshit or not it's more than 5 at the least which is still mind-bottling*

El Padrino said...

"my nigga"

Training Day

El Padrino said...

"suite but spendy for the contraption, in a few years though target will have them for 39$"

yea, for now, slow cooker will do

Meiz said...

"Randy Wolf will agree today to sign with Brewers -- 3 years, just under $30 million."


Too much fucking money, but we need him.

Meiz said...

"Training Day"


No shit? I had no clue!



essssssss

Meiz said...

You call it woe, we call it life.

El Padrino said...

these winter meetings are nothing but hot smoke

how can 4 different guys be reporting on the same thing and all 4 are different, vastly different

Meiz said...

"these winter meetings are nothing but hot smoke

how can 4 different guys be reporting on the same thing and all 4 are different, vastly different"


I'm not getting these mixed messages. The Daily Stache is not a viable resource, FYI.

Steve said...

Now there is supposedly a TW sex tape and bastard children.

El Padrino said...

another boy for Brady

El Padrino said...

"I'm not getting these mixed messages. The Daily Stache is not a viable resource, FYI."

Joel Sherman, NY Post
Tom Verducci, SI
Adam Rubin, NY Daily News
David Lennon, Newsday

all have different reports on Bengie Molina

make daddy proud said...

you're paying attention to the NY papers...first mistake

Meiz said...

"Joel Sherman, NY Post
Tom Verducci, SI
Adam Rubin, NY Daily News
David Lennon, Newsday"


You need better baseball people.

JFreak said...

"freak Sorgi shut down"

A. Sorgi lost the number 2 job a while ago.

B. Why does it matter? He wasn't going to be playing in any meaningful games anyway.

C. Curtis Painter sucks balls.

Meiz said...

Randy Wolf. 3 years/29 mil. Disgusting.

El Padrino said...

"A. Sorgi lost the number 2 job a while ago."

Someone should have told NFL Network that

El Padrino said...

"B. Why does it matter? He wasn't going to be playing in any meaningful games anyway."

manning will not play once thye lock everything up, at least full games

you know that right?

El Padrino said...

"You need better baseball people."

you live in wisconsin, what you have maybe 2 baseball reporters

ny media has 8 beat writers for the mets alone

El Padrino said...

and each of them are trying to be right on a story

Meiz said...

Oh everybody just LOVES god & jesus so much, but when they find out we only have the religious christmas stamps left, they all give us the stank face. Mmm Hm. Y'all ain't fooling anybody.

Meiz said...

"ny media has 8 beat writers for the mets alone"


You realize beat reporters are worthless, right? RIGHT?

They're in cahoots with the team.

JFreak said...

"manning will not play once thye lock everything up, at least full games

you know that right?"

"He wasn't going to be playing in any meaningful games anyway."

Why are you a dolt?

El Padrino said...

"The fourth-round pick became cornerback John Bowie, who never started a game for the Raiders and was cut in 2009. Moss caught 23 touchdown passes for the Patriots in his first year and became the deep threat Tom Brady never had."


Da RAIIIIIDEEERRRSSSSS

El Padrino said...

you know that right?"

"He wasn't going to be playing in any meaningful games anyway."

Why are you a dolt?"

ah so you don't care if they don't go 16-0

got it, thought you did

El Padrino said...

colts history of resting players down the stretch has not worked out for them

jus sayin

Meiz said...

"Why are you a dolt?"


Italian

New York



science

El Padrino said...

"You realize beat reporters are worthless, right? RIGHT?

They're in cahoots with the team."

yes, i do and i left out that midget fag rosenthal who was reporting the mets have no offers out to anyone

El Padrino said...

dolt is gay

that's like a harvard diss

JFreak said...

"colts history of resting players down the stretch has not worked out for them"

This is not news.

I don't necessarily want them to rest players, but it's what they do.

isiah thompson said...

that's like a harvard diss


^^^^^^

dolt ain't gangsta

tem said...

"Now there is supposedly a TW sex tape and bastard children."

nekkid pictures going to be in playgirl.

Steve said...

"that's like a harvard diss"



how do you like THEM apples?

Meiz said...

Wolf's final #, 29.75 mil. I will beat him with Suppan's corpse if he sucks.

El Padrino said...

"how do you like THEM apples?"

funny

tem said...

dolt is a popular word at kenyon dooling college.

Meiz said...

"dolt ain't gangsta"


Think about who this comment is in regards to

Keef said...

"so what keeps you from peeping game on nsfw links"

A network that blocks social networking site

Keef said...

Plus, every time you click on a nsfw site and it's blockt, it gets tracked.

Keef said...

did you know that?

Keef said...

bold

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