Friday, November 20, 2009

El Pad's Weekly Betting Guide

Overall : 32-31-2
Last Week : 5-3
Situation : -700

Pros before ho's

Had Miami +3 last night.....DET. Ricky Williams took a corn shit on the Panthers.

Jets +10.5 over PATS
That's alot of purnts* for a division game. Pats ain't nowhere near the 18-1 team, they are still building that back up. Jets beat them earlier in the year and that gives them some confidence. CLOSER THAN THE EXPERTS THINK! Plus I can't get a read on the Pats right now, after that Sunday night game they might be too low or too excited. Not sure which one. ($200)

BAL +1 over Colts
Classic letdown game. And if you think it can't happen to the Colts it can. Just watch. Ray Lewis and company seem to get jacked up on national television especially against a top 5 team like the Colts. ($100)

Buffalo +9 over JAX
Jags ain't good. MJD is good but Jax as a team are not good. I think Buffalo stays close, maybe even upsets the Jags and gets the black guy his first win alot quicker than it took that black guy in Tampa. I'm sure this game is blacked out so no one will know what happens. I'lll have to check the USA Today boxscore on Monday as if it was 1992 (Boxscores suck me everytime. / tp). ($100)

This week sucks. Good week to take the top 3 getting all the action (Steelers 79%, Eagles 76% and Bengals 75%) and doing the opposite. But this time around I like 2 out of 3 so let's just ride the one I don't like. Philly -3 over CHICAGO. I'm taking the Bears even though Cutler had been playing like a wet tampon. ($100)

I ain't taking KC with Steelers in town, I'll actually lay the 10 there and take the Steelers for($50). It must suck to be a KC fan, Steve would have a field day calling them out.

Bengals -9.5 looks juicy too but I just want to stay away from it so, no play on the call.
The Colts are getting 74% of the action. So I will look smat* if Baltimore gets it done. Detroit getting 73%. Good lord just fire Mangini already.

RIP the Georgia bulldog, again. They have a short life span. The respiratory system of a bulldog is as bad as keef's colon system.

827 comments:

1 – 200 of 827   Newer›   Newest»
El Padrino said...

Samsung 40-inch 1080p LCD HDTV for $599.99, Sears....

El Padrino said...

3 per store it says though

that blows

El Padrino said...

black friday secrets

El Padrino said...

no mo oprah

El Padrino said...

what is everyone on another blog or something

El Padrino said...

Sen. Kerry's daughter busted for DUI...


whoops

El Padrino said...

"Global warming appears to have stalled. Climatologists are puzzled as to why average global temperatures have stopped rising over the last 10 years. Some attribute the trend to a lack of sunspots, while others explain it through ocean currents."

IN YOU FACE FAT GORE

Other argue it was bullshit before and it's bullshit now.

El Padrino said...

this is ridiculous

El Padrino said...

geithner crushed

El Padrino said...

harbaugh article, good, stanford

bleutard said...

leaving at noon today to go get druck

bleutard said...

excerpt from email from CFO:

"the board knows that this was paind until November, so I want to be consistent with them knowing what their knowledge is"


knowing is knowledge

Keef said...

"no mo oprah"


L Padrino

El Padrino said...

leaving at noon is wise

Jugdish said...

i get off an our* early today...its something

Keef said...

New Moon opens today!!!111!!!1!!!!




































s

Keef said...

IT'S FRIIIDAAYYYY!!!!!!!

Jugdish said...

Jug's black friday secrets


1. stay home
2. watch football
3. drink beer
4. Christmas shop on line

El Padrino said...

jug is wise

Jugdish said...

my neighborhood is right up the road from the local mall...i avoid that street like the plague this time of year

El Padrino said...

"A British man who strangled his wife in his sleep while dreaming that she was an intruder walked free from court Friday after the case against him was withdrawn, prosecutors said."


VIVA!

Keef said...

Note to self....




s

bleutard said...

new moon opened last night

Keef said...

zeke
Which line do you use on Yahoo's page? It looks like there are 6 different sportsbooks that they use

Jugdish said...

zeke
Which line do you use on Yahoo's page? It looks like there are 6 different sportsbooks that they use


use the one in the middle

s

Keef said...

zeke
Which line do you use on Yahoo's page? It looks like there are 6 different sportsbooks that they use



The one with the highest spreak

/zeke

El Padrino said...

good poker players make good traders, duh, they are both gambling

Jugdish said...

cowherd said the Cowboys haven't had a winning december since 1996


suite...let's keep that streak going Romo

Keef said...

spread. jesus

Keef said...

I dropped Moss yesterday, then read this morning that he's averaging 123 yards in his last 4 games against Dallas, w/ 3 TD's*

Jugdish said...

spread. jesus


easy mistake...the D key is pretty close to the K key


s

Keef said...

Vicks nasal spray recalled over bacteria


Who cares about his nose spray?

Keef said...

"easy mistake...the D key is pretty close to the K key"

It's how I say it in real life

Keef said...

D & K use the same finger, opposite hands. So I'm dyslexic or something

Jugdish said...

Who cares about his nose spray?


i had a bossman a few years ago that was addicted to nasal spray

ns

Keef said...

Suns lost again on TNT last night

Keef said...

"i had a bossman a few years ago that was addicted to nasal spray"


Was there coke in it? HOw do you get addicted to nasal spray?

bleutard said...

there is alcohol in nasal spray

Jugdish said...

Was there coke in it? HOw do you get addicted to nasal spray?


no clue. i had never heard of that before this guy. i wonder if there is a nasal spray rehab

bleutard said...

i'm presenting a 45 day plan at work today.

I'm working on a 45 point plan over 45 days....

one point for each day

Keef said...

all day orientation @ HD tomorrow.

Jugdish said...

are you going to fire one person a day for 45 days?

Keef said...

"i'm presenting a 45 day plan at work today.

I'm working on a 45 point plan over 45 days....

one point for each day"



Day 1: Fire mini skirt lady
Day 2: Fire CFO
Day 3: Fire secretary
Day 4: Fire receptionist
Day 5: Hire stripper
Day 6: Fire stripper
Day 7: Fire the Bobs
...
...
...
...
Day 45: Win TCS

Jugdish said...

all day orientation @ HD tomorrow.


you haven't started there yet? i didn't realize that

Keef said...

Not yet. Have to do the orientation first, and couldn't do it on any of the Fridays the last few weeks. Tomorrow is the first Saturday one they've had since I got hired

bleutard said...

maybe it's a 45 day plan to win TCS

isiah thompson said...

zeke
Which line do you use on Yahoo's page? It looks like there are 6 different sportsbooks that they use


the one in our pick 'em league, even though we don't use spreads, I think they show the final line in the weekly or group picks link.

and I don't think it will matter anyway. not a xnij

isiah thompson said...

the halatosis lady here is like acts like a puppy having her master come home every time she comes in in the morning.

as soon as she walks in the door she has to get up in everyone's bi-niss*, which in turn makes her manic and she starts blabbering all over the.

go to your office and STFU.

/end rant

isiah thompson said...

all over the.



it's going to be a suite hdh day for me, I can feel it.

Keef said...

"the one in our pick 'em league, even though we don't use spreads, I think they show the final line in the weekly or group picks link."


Ah, got it. Looks like it's 12

El Padrino said...

we use spreads in our Y! pick em league

Keef said...

"all over the.



it's going to be a suite hdh day for me, I can feel it."


You misst "the halatosis lady here is like acts like a puppy..."

isiah thompson said...

her mania then rubs off on the other st. bernards and after 3 minutes it sounds like a bunch of fucking seals.

Keef said...

"we use spreads in our Y! pick em league"


oh, ok

isiah thompson said...

we use spreads in our Y! pick em league

not in the collitch* one

Keef said...

"maybe it's a 45 day plan to win TCS"


Whatever happened to the 5 year plan? Maybe it's a 10 year plan

El Padrino said...

"not in the collitch* one"

oh

Keef said...

supercalifragilisticexpehalatosis

isiah thompson said...

supercalifragilisticexpehalatosis


for real dough, this is NS.

she just moved into our building a week or so ago, and her part of the floor, as soon as you get about 20 feet from her office you can smell the stank. NS

her breaf* is so fucking bad, she compounds the problem by wearing the stank nastiest perfume - it makes a funeral parlor smell good.

the combo of the two leaves a vapor trail, when you walk around the office you can smell where she's been. NS

udderly* disgusting

Jugdish said...

the combo of the two leaves a vapor trail, when you walk around the office you can smell where she's been, but i'd still do her. NS



fixed

isiah thompson said...

the combo of the two leaves a vapor trail, when you walk around the office you can smell where she's been, but i'd still do her. NS



I wouldn't fuck her with Beth's dick.

El Padrino said...

she's fat?

El Padrino said...

overperfumed woman, for the most part are hefty

isiah thompson said...

she's rev sized

wadr big fella

El Padrino said...

all 53 men practiced yesterday for the first time since dec of last year

det

bleutard said...

that's not going to help you come turkey day...shorty

isiah thompson said...

who's playing on thursday?

El Padrino said...

turrible job by nfl sked makers, giants will have to get there wed i guess

El Padrino said...

GB/DET
OAK/DAL

GIANTS @ DENVER nightcap

isiah thompson said...

speaking of the skedule*, something weird happening this weekend.

something like:

colts @ baltimore
houston @ tenn
az @ stl

kodiac said...

speaking of the skedule*, something weird happening this weekend.

something like:

colts @ baltimore
houston @ tenn
az @ stl

-and Cleveland @ Browns

El Padrino said...

cool

isiah thompson said...

-and Cleveland @ Browns


::lysol::

isiah thompson said...

fmz's mom's* made us some punkin* pie, so I went out and boat* some rediwhip.

did a whip-it. not sure if they changed the way they make it but it wasn't as good as I remember.

isiah thompson said...

-and Cleveland @ Browns


you talking about monday's game? got it

Jugdish said...

::lysol::



chuckle

kodiac said...

yeah, cmkod is a Ravens fan, so I like to annoy her by calling the Ravens the Browns, and reminding her that Balt stole the Browns from Cleveland when she bitches about the Colts moving to Indy in the middle of the night.

El Padrino said...

my sister says y'all

yuck

El Padrino said...

speaking of y'all where is tits

El Padrino said...

i dont understand why the knicks wont sign iverson

makes no damn sense

El Padrino said...

not so fast my friend

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Was there coke in it? HOw do you get addicted to nasal spray?"

has epinephrine in it, learned that from that movie 'crank'

chester from linkin park in the movie: pssst, nasal spray, itll get you tweaked

El Padrino said...

like sudafed i think

Spaceman Spiff said...

putting in a request for tem UFC picks

bleutard said...

he picks brock lesnar

Jugdish said...

my sister says y'all


suite

Someone get me some bait said...

If you are the unfortunate soul to have artwork and other miscellany to ship out as my 1st customer of the day, you are getting ripped the fuck off.

And by ripped the fuck off, I mean charged what bossman has on our pricing list, instead of getting the standard Mize discount.

bleutard said...

so meiz charges whatever the fuck he wants....got it

i'm sure that raise is right around the corner

Spaceman Spiff said...

"And by ripped the fuck off, I mean charged what bossman has on our pricing list, instead of getting the standard Mize discount."

so not ripped off, got it

Jugdish said...

mize is skimming off the top

isiah thompson said...

deke is like the bartender at the Double Deuce

bleutard said...

ahhhh tilted kilt opened here in Denver.


might need to make a patronage trip

Spaceman Spiff said...

"might need to make a patronage trip"

patron is good

El Padrino said...

gettysburg address 146 years ago to this day

El Padrino said...

i gotta pepper cmep with knowledge like this

Jugdish said...

every house needs one of these

bleutard said...

"i gotta pepper cmep with knowledge like this"


is there still a house at that address?

/cmep

isiah thompson said...

gettysburg address 146 years ago to this day


pretty sure it was yesterday

Jugdish said...

4 score and...7 minutes ago

Keef said...

"GB/DET
OAK/DAL"



gross

Keef said...

"fmz's mom's* made us some punkin* pie, so I went out and boat* some rediwhip."


More ammo for yous guys but I don't like pumpkin pie

Someone get me some bait said...

"so not ripped off, got it"

If you saw the prices we charge for packaging, you'd want to request some lube.

Jugdish said...

More ammo for yous guys but I don't like hair pie


/mize


s

Keef said...

"ahhhh tilted kilt opened here in Denver."

The one here has some chicks who look like their face caught on fire and they tried to put it out with sandpaper

Someone get me some bait said...

"More ammo for yous guys but I don't like pumpkin pie"


Jeebus

Keef said...

"If you saw the prices we charge for packaging, you'd want to request some lube."


Right. The same that pretty much every shipping place charges

Spaceman Spiff said...

"More ammo for yous guys but I don't like pumpkin pie"

not a huge fan either, pie is like the turkey and the whipped cream is like the sides, cant even see the pie under the mountain

Keef said...

Job for tem

He'd only have to work 1 day per week

Spaceman Spiff said...

pumpkin shake at JITB is HDH though

isiah thompson said...

not a huge fan either, pie is like the turkey and the whipped cream is like the sides, cant even see the pie under the mountain


I'm not a huge punkin* pie fan either but it looks like a piece of rediwhip pie by the time I'm done with the can.

Keef said...

nerve had that

isiah thompson said...

gettysburg address 146 years ago to this day


pretty sure it was yesterday


I'm still laughing at this

El Padrino said...

"More ammo for yous guys but I don't like pumpkin pie"

look the communist is back

Someone get me some bait said...

"Right. The same that pretty much every shipping place charges"


That's awful. What a gyp.

Keef said...

mize, your last name/pic for the week is I'm really ratarded

Keef said...

"look the communist is back"


Said the guy who hates America

isiah thompson said...

I'm ratarded* for bringing this up, but Bleutard, our bet was only for 3 days.

bleutard said...

i don't like pumpkin pie either


haven't had it in probably 5 years at lease

El Padrino said...

where did me hating america come from

bleutard said...

"I'm ratarded* for bringing this up, but Bleutard, our bet was only for 3 days"

yeah, i realized that about mid-day yesterday, but Jcamp just feels right.

I'm really ratarded said...

LIONS!!!!!!

El Padrino said...

zeke i'm fine on the delhomie bet, even if they lose out he keeps the yob

just no one behind him

bleutard said...

"where did me hating america come from"

how should we know, maybe it was your upbringing, maybe you feel slighted...maybe the terrorists have won.

we're not your therapists, you figure it out on your own

I'm really ratarded said...

"where did me hating america come from"


Ummmmmm....Your distaste for America, perhaps?

El Padrino said...

"Eighty-one-year-old Eric Steward of Yass, New South Wales, Australia went out to get a morning paper on Wednesday. He took a wrong turn onto a highway and drove for nine hours before stopping to ask for directions!"


Hi zeke

Keef said...

So when kod visits mize, are they gonna play some catch?

I'm really ratarded said...

I'll be at the Ole Miss game this weekend

El Padrino said...

"Ummmmmm....Your distaste for America, perhaps?"

catching me off guard here
i'm on record saying i love my country and if i didnt have asthma i'd serve (s, part ns)

isiah thompson said...

zeke i'm fine on the delhomie bet, even if they lose out he keeps the yob

just no one behind him


you know it's about wins right, not if he keeps the yob? if he loses the yob the bet is cancelled, but if they don't win 8 you loss*

bleutard said...

titans are going to finish 10-6

isiah thompson said...

and if i didnt have asthma i'd serve


you're already at a disadvantage with those little lungs.

if they still had drummer boys you could sign up.

Keef said...

What if he loses the job after they have no chance to win 8?

isiah thompson said...

pa-rum-pum-pum-pum

isiah thompson said...

speaking of that, some bitch already has it on the all-christmas music station.

wft mayne

isiah thompson said...

What if he loses the job after they have no chance to win 8?

good question, I think that would mean EP loses. but since we didn't specifically agree to it, it'd be on EP to decide.

Keef said...

"speaking of that, some bitch already has it on the all-christmas music station.

wft mayne"


cmk has been complaining all week because the station she listened to xmas music on last year hasn't started playing it yet.

Keef said...

"good question, I think that would mean EP loses."


Judge agrees

Keef said...

"but since we didn't specifically agree to it, it'd be on EP to decide."


You know how weasels are

I'm really ratarded said...

"So when kod visits mize, are they gonna play some catch?"


Eiffel Tower!!!

isiah thompson said...

You know how weasels are


the next bet I win against EP his name will be "Le Weasel" with a pic of the french flag.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"You know how weasels are"

wheezel, he has asthma

I'm really ratarded said...

"catching me off guard here
i'm on record saying i love my country and if i didnt have asthma i'd serve"


You and your fake-ass asthma again

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Eiffel Tower!!!"

whos gonna be the third guy

isiah thompson said...

"catching me off guard here
i'm on record saying i love my country and if i didnt have asthma i'd serve"



EP it's don't axe don't tell, you're safe.


s

El Padrino said...

"pa-rum-pum-pum-pum"

fav xmas song of all time

ns

Keef said...

LP, do you use an inhaler?

El Padrino said...

"cmk has been complaining all week because the station she listened to xmas music on last year hasn't started playing it yet."

cmep nods

El Padrino said...

"LP, do you use an inhaler?"

i have one, rarely use it

El Padrino said...

"whos gonna be the third guy"

andy

Keef said...

"i have one, rarely use it"

So you don't have asthma. Got it

El Padrino said...

"good question, I think that would mean EP loses."

agreed, and good point they have 6-10 written all over them

I'm really ratarded said...

"i have one, rarely use it"


Mail me those fucking things, you hoarder.

El Padrino said...

"So you don't have asthma. Got it"

you don't know much do you

Keef said...

agreed, and good point they have 6-10 1/2 written all over them



*fized

Keef said...

"you don't know much do you"


I know what you learn in the 3rd year of college

Keef said...

I'm just kidding. I forgot that shit

El Padrino said...

"I know what you learn in the 3rd year of college"

but was that higher education?

/steve

I'm really ratarded said...

"So you don't have asthma. Got it"

LP "caught" asthma from some alleged terrorist attack, or something.

Keef said...

so the terrorists won

El Padrino said...

"LP "caught" asthma from some alleged terrorist attack, or something."

diagnosed with it at an early age, allegedly it was "dormant" for some time and since 9/11 it's been a problem when i get sick or a cold it rears it's ugly head

Keef said...

The ollllllllll' 9/11 gave me asthma card




s

El Padrino said...

that S just saved your ass

bleutard said...

my drinking of alcohol is a direct result of the terrorist attacks on 9/11

the government should have to pay for my addiction

bleutard said...

"that S just saved your ass"

were you going to rape him?

El Padrino said...

TITS is missing

El Padrino said...

your face is raped

bleutard said...

she's mourning the death of UGA 11

I'm really ratarded said...

9/11 made me poor. I should get everything for free.

Keef said...

My intestines were fine until 9/11

isiah thompson said...

TITS is missing


where's the old man?

isiah thompson said...

she's mourning the death of UGA 11


so the latest uga died of heart problems which also killed his pops....maybe stop making dogs with heart problems your mascot.....


"there's your problem....."

bleutard said...

inbred dogs are the worse

bleutard said...

that's why people like mutts

bleutard said...

"where's the old man?"

tailgating...big game for the Tebows this weekend.

get to beat Zeke and his FIU fighting sex panthers

isiah thompson said...

that S just saved your kidney


*fized

Keef said...

The old Miss, the old man

El Padrino said...

time to bag me some lunch

bleutard said...

"don't you go falling in love with it now, because, we're taking it with us when we leave here next month."

ToddPacker said...

""where's the old man?"

tailgating...big game for the Tebows this weekend."

not yet.... working from home today

bleutard said...

sg did not like the belicheat call

ToddPacker said...

"i'm presenting a 45 day plan at work today.

I'm working on a 45 point plan over 45 days....

one point for each day"


funny stuff.... although it was not the best office last night

Keef said...

"it was not the best office last night"


^^^^

Keef said...

parks & rec was kind of funny

isiah thompson said...

haven't seen it yet but have been saying for months that The Office has been steadily getting worse.

bleutard said...

i think the office gets worse only because i watch it everyday now and remember how funny some of the episodes were.

bleutard said...

the scene last night where Jim is asking everyone if they think he has any power in the office as co-manager was a good scene though

bleutard said...

it caught a chuckle or tow

ToddPacker said...

"parks & rec was kind of funny"

still getting beter

Keef said...

newer

bleutard said...

SG had a good chance to steal the "there is no good news, man" line

and he avoided it...color me shocked and surprised

Keef said...

If they can make a TV show about a fantasy league, then there can definitely be an LoV show

El Padrino said...

dan goodman can play rev

El Padrino said...

danny devito as lp?

Keef said...

he has your hairline

Keef said...

and fuck getting stars to play our roles. We can play them ourselves. It would make it better because we know all the jokes

I'm really ratarded said...

"and fuck getting stars to play our roles. We can play them ourselves. It would make it better because we know all the jokes"


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

100%

El Padrino said...

"In the midst of painting, a horse messenger delivered a letter from his father that read one line, "Your wife is dead". Morse immediately left Washington for his home at New Haven, leaving the portrait of Lafayette unfinished. By the time he arrived she had already been buried. Heartbroken in the knowledge that for days he was unaware of his wife's failing health and her lonely death, he moved on from painting to pursue a means of rapid long distance communication."


Morse code was born

ToddPacker said...

dan goodman??

Keef said...

wiki surfing?

Keef said...

bold

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 827   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino