Friday, November 13, 2009

El Pad's Weekly Betting Guide














Jay Cutler was brutal. I think he leads the world in red zone picks. That's bad.
I thought I saw Boom Dizzle yesterday on the path train. Turns out it wasn't him. I snapped a pic anyway. By the way if this dude caught me snapping a pic of him I think we'd be fighting. I am a cell phone camera NINJA. Not to be fucked with.


Overall : 26-28-2
Situation : (-$800)
Last Week : 5-3

Callage*
Wvu +9 Cincy, as the games get bigger the scores get closer. ($100)
Nurth* Carolina at home +3 over Miami ($50)

I think your good laying 13.5 to the Rams. I don't care if that game was in Stave Spagnuolo's living room. He doesn't have the personnel to pressure Brees and that score will be a bunch of crooked numbers to zero. ($250)

Dallas is hot, on fiyyyaaa, too bad it's not January. If I were Aaron Rodgers I'd be having serious nightmares of DeMarcus Ware running at me with foam coming out of his mouth and body slamming me to the Lambeau turf. Lay the 3 to the home dog Packers. ($200)

Broncos -3.5 over Skins, even though the line scares me. The Broncos, and I've never wavered on this, are not THAT good. Better than I expected for sure. But there are only so many 4 yard passing plays you can call before teams start defending it well. Anyway the Skins are a sloppy mess. The coach should be running a bait shop not a football team. (hi deke) ($150)

I might regret this pick because Arizona is like a goddamn yo-yo from week to week but I think the good times roll at home vs the Seahawks. Mainly because they should be able to get to Hasselback. I'd lay the 8.5 and watch Matthew get a Dansby/Dockett sammich. ($150)

Man I'm doing alot of laying here. (/Beth) Wadr. Time for some taking. (/Kod) Wadr.

Bengals are definetely no joke. I'm officially a believer. Thought Marvin Lewis was a joke and would be gone but he's done a fan fucking tastic job. Kills me to say that. That's a big bowl of my words I just ate. Anyway give me the 7 points as they rush into Steeler Country, These two teams are very similar and the game will be decided by less than 7 for sure. ($200)

I don't know who the Jets think they are but giving the Jaguars 7 points sounds like a bad idea. Like the time I let some dude brand my wife. (/Keef) Wadr. I will take those 7 points. ($100)

724 comments:

1 – 200 of 724   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

I like the fake comments mixed in the picks there EP. Run with that even more next time I'd say.

El Padrino said...

yea, i was laughing my ass off
had a lot of fun with this one

Beth said...

One you missed though:

By the way if this dude caught me snapping a pic of him I think we'd be fighting.

/H

El Padrino said...

so that ft hood bitch lied
she didnt shoot anyone

El Padrino said...

"By the way if this dude caught me snapping a pic of him I think we'd be fighting.

/H"


true, this could be me too

blue said...

i hate to say i told you so about cutler.

actually i don't hate to say it

blue said...

one more game like that and Cutler probably won't be elite anymore


/lp

blue said...

see...i can play that game too

El Padrino said...

it's fun

i know you enjoyed wathvcing that debacle

blue said...

yeah, one of those wasn't his fault (when hester felt down)

but gawdawful

Jugdish said...

yeah, one of those wasn't his fault (when hester felt down)

but gawdawful


there was another one where hester's route got cut off by the official, but yes, gawdawful.

Jugdish said...

i hate to say i told you so about cutler.

actually i don't hate to say it



they had a stat after the game last night, the last bears player to throw 5 INTs in a game was kyle orton...so there is that

Jugdish said...

just like the atlanta game...shitty turnovers and still had a chance to win it in the end too

blue said...

"they had a stat after the game last night, the last bears player to throw 5 INTs in a game was kyle orton...so there is that"


yes, but hOrton was a rookie then

not that i'm a big fan of hOrton anyway, but it's something

blue said...

Cutler is a good quarterback when the game isn't on his shoulders...if he just manages the game and doesn't try and force stuff (AHIIK) then he's pretty good.

The problem is when he thinks "i've got to go win this game by myself"

Jugdish said...

The problem is when he thinks "i've got to go win this game by myself"


^^^^^^^^^^

there are some coaching issues too...noo many sloppy penalties. I'm not a person to say "fire the coach!". however, i have never been impressed with Ron Turner

El Padrino said...

earl bennet
devin hester
johnny knox

joe montana would be pissed if that who he was throwing the ball too

Jugdish said...

not that i'm a big fan of hOrton anyway, but it's something


you pretty much know what you're getting with Orton. never more, sometimes less.

Jugdish said...

Cutler is a wild card...flies by the seat of his pants.


/tp

Jugdish said...

earl bennet
devin hester
johnny knox

joe montana would be pissed if that who he was throwing the ball too



doesn't help. It would be nice to have a number 1 receiver. sometimes they seem way off on their routes, but they have been better than i expected, especially bennett and knox

blue said...

EP, he had the same issues with Brandon Marshall, Eddie Royal, and Brandon Stokely and a very good offensive line.


Then his argument was "i don't have a running game" or "we have a shitty defense"...at some point the excuses get old

Jugdish said...

he is still better than what we've had. if you watched the game last night you saw the list of QBs over the last several years. he has his issues, but the team has other issues for sure...disappointing

blue said...

he'll be fine when shanahan is coaching there next year.

El Padrino said...

"EP, he had the same issues with Brandon Marshall, Eddie Royal, and Brandon Stokely and a very good offensive line."

and he put up sick numbers
the defense was putrid

Jugdish said...

cutler's ego is writing checks his body can't cash!

/tp

blue said...

he had 18ints last year with a pro-bowl WR and a very solid OL.

he still only had 25tds, and his "sick" numbers for passing yards were because they were behind all the time

El Padrino said...

apology accepted

blue said...

not gonna argue, but his QB rating has never been higher than 89...which is average

tem said...

89.5

/el pad

El Padrino said...

damn youz a sexy bitch
a sex bitch

disrespectfulllllllllllll

El Padrino said...

that song makes me want to dance and grind then have sex on the dance floor then dance again and drink jack and cokes

El Padrino said...

I'M TRYING TO FIND THE WORDS TO DESCRIBE HER WITHOUT BEING DISRESPECTFUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

El Padrino said...

meiz/zeke/keef/MVN

you guys like Drake?

El Padrino said...

"not gonna argue, but his QB rating has never been higher than 89...which is average"

i hear ya dog, last night he made a throw and i just shook my head
it was sick, backpedaling AWAY from the pocket, threw a seed down the seam to Olsen, bout 17 yards

crazy talent

El Padrino said...

"Wife posed online as schoolgirl to trap pedophile husband... "


BITCH!

Steve said...

That's hot

El Padrino said...

morbidly fascinated by this list of what death row inmates requested as a last meal

Jugdish said...

if you combine 3-4 of those last meals, that would be spiffg's last meal

ToddPacker said...

"Cutler is a wild card...flies by the seat of his pants.


/tp"


"cutler's ego is writing checks his body can't cash!

/tp"


::hot sauces::

El Padrino said...

"Whole fried chicken, twelve buttered bread slices, fried onion rings and okra, six RC colas, one large bag of Fritos corn chips, two tomatoes, salt, and pepper"


RC Cola's are legit

tem said...

""Wife posed online as schoolgirl to trap pedophile husband... "


if he was looking at her then he might not be a pedophile. she probably isn't a pedo

Jugdish said...

vasaline on the phone handset is always funny

tem said...

::hot sauces::

top gun quotes

Jugdish said...

::hot sauces::



don't act like you don't know lines from top gun

El Padrino said...

"On November 13, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence."

El Padrino said...

today is friday the 13th

tem said...

scared?

Jugdish said...

how long do they have to eat these last meals?

Jugdish said...

Two 16 oz. ribeyes, one lb. turkey breast (sliced thin), twelve strips of bacon, two large hamburgers with mayo, onion, and lettuce, two large baked potatoes with butter, sour cream, cheese, and chives, four slices of cheese or one-half pound of grated cheddar cheese, chef salad with blue cheese dressing, two ears of corn on the cob, one pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream, and four vanilla Cokes or Mr. Pibb


spiff's lunch today...

Steve said...

"morbidly fascinated by this list of what death row inmates requested as a last meal"


nobody asked for beer?

El Padrino said...

"One pot of coffee"

guess he wanted to try and stay awake after the electricity stopped

El Padrino said...

"nobody asked for beer?"

i may be talking out of my ass but pretty sure alcohol is prohibited from the last meal request

El Padrino said...

"Triple meat cheeseburger with fried bun and everything,"

wonder what everything is

El Padrino said...

the fried chicken is popular

El Padrino said...

"1 bag of assorted Jolly Ranchers"

good call

Jugdish said...

i may be talking out of my ass but pretty sure alcohol is prohibited from the last meal request


cigartettes are banned, and one dude asked for wine, but water was substituted. too bad keef

Jugdish said...

they can't have bubble gum either...bastards!

tem said...

1 boxed wine please

tem said...

if i can't have sour patch kids then they aren't executing me.

tem said...

do they get a whore if they ask?

Jugdish said...

one guy requested cool hwHip and cherries

ToddPacker said...

"On November 13, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence."


nice

ToddPacker said...

"don't act like you don't know lines from top gun"

not acted

El Padrino said...

one box of Franzia and a bowl of bad italian food

/keef

ToddPacker said...

"not acted"

*acting... i love me some hdh

El Padrino said...

a cucumber

/beth

El Padrino said...

Smith James 763 06/26/1990 Yogurt

what a fag

El Padrino said...

steak with an ounce of hot sauce

/ep

El Padrino said...

something soft my teef are gone

/tp

Jugdish said...

tube steak, smothered in underwear


/beth

ToddPacker said...

short ribs
baby carrots

/ep

isiah thompson said...

nice post freak

isiah thompson said...

you guys like Drake?


::hot sauce::

isiah thompson said...

The Office was horrible last night. I mean bad. And not bad meaning good but bad meaning bad.

El Padrino said...

"you guys like Drake?


::hot sauce::"


rap

El Padrino said...

"And not bad meaning good but bad meaning bad."

RUN DMC

El Padrino said...

short ribs
baby carrots

/ep


tp that was fucking hilarious
well done

ToddPacker said...

gotta get some booze for the train

El Padrino said...

me zeke what would you like for your final meal?

will it be on a friday?

yes

it's taco night, dont even trip

/zeke

ToddPacker said...

"The Office was horrible last night. I mean bad. And not bad meaning good but bad meaning bad."

still on the dvr

Jugdish said...

a dozen philly cheesesteaks, one wheel of cheddar cheese, a dozen tastycakes, a dozen more tastycakes, 6 cans of cheez whiz, one whole cheese cake, one box of cherry capri suns, 2 gallons of whole milk, a dozen tastycakes, one more can of cheez whiz, a cheeseburger, 3.5 slices of crisp bacon and a small diet coke


/rev

tem said...

tp, you forgot the /beth tag

isiah thompson said...

me zeke what would you like for your final meal?

will it be on a friday?

yes

it's taco night, dont even trip

/zeke


suite


and taco night is a go for tonight


DET

isiah thompson said...

homemade double deckers, you

Jugdish said...

short ribs
baby carrots

/ep



hilarity

kodiac said...

all I caught last night was 30 Rock....and it was grate

Jugdish said...

pink taco night?


/beth

ToddPacker said...

"one wheel of cheddar cheese"

hilarious

El Padrino said...

/rev was grate

ToddPacker said...

"homemade double deckers, you"

nice

Jugdish said...

a gross of atomic wings from wing stop and a large order of fries


/spiffg

kodiac said...

10 CL's and a piece of celery


/kod

Jugdish said...

10 CL's, a piece of celery, and a can of lysol


/kod

fiz

isiah thompson said...

3 bottles of febreeze and a can of lysol


/kodpiece

isiah thompson said...

I want 1 raw beef and onion sammich, 3 brats, and another....aw shit I don't care, woe.


/deke

ToddPacker said...

"10 CL's, a piece of celery, and a can of lysol


/kod

fiz"


good fix

El Padrino said...

sometime that will make me shit immediately

/deke

ToddPacker said...

i can't think of any bridge/train related foods

Jugdish said...

one half woetermelon, a bottle of woerchestire sauce, woeffle fries, one woechemecallit candy bar, Woegurt, and no onions and peppers on anything


/mize

Jugdish said...

i can't think of any bridge/train related foods


me neither

Jugdish said...

i don't have time for a last meal, I need to finish making these license plates.

/keef

kodiac said...

i can't think of any bridge/train related foods

Burger, fries and milkshake from Bridgemans?

-alright, it's a bit of a reach

Jugdish said...

i would like to play bridge with my fellow inmates.

/jug

Beth said...

Screw food, how many musical DVD's am I allowed to watch?

/keith

Jugdish said...

its prison keef, we watch family guy and listen to country music

isiah thompson said...

Screw food, how many musical DVD's am I allowed to watch?

/keith


highlarity*

El Padrino said...

anything but the Chocolate Brooklyn Bridge

bridge, River Cafe

Beth said...

its prison keef, we watch family guy and listen to country music, and then since it's your last night we end with a nice fireworks show.

*fixed

Jugdish said...

id like to keef sanchez the warden


/keef

Jugdish said...

here is a list of ingrediants. I'll need everything on this list and access to a kitchen for 12 hours. i'm making my own last meal.


/ep

isiah thompson said...

Lakers won by 19 last night, your* welcome.

tem said...

i didn't bet, thanks

Jugdish said...

shame on you tp

Jugdish said...

shame on you freak

blue said...

for shame

El Padrino said...

dna is a bitch

Meiz said...

Last meal requests are hilarity

blue said...

i think we've had this discussion befo

blue said...

that would make it a colov

Meiz said...

"here is a list of ingrediants. I'll need everything on this list and access to a kitchen for 12 hours. i'm making my own last meal.


/ep"



::knife slips, cuts arm and bleeds to death before the sauce even simmers::

Meiz said...

"i think we've had this discussion befo"


Yes. We are re-treads.

Jugdish said...

hooters time

blue said...

ratards

isiah thompson said...

remember then is the lowest form of conversation

blue said...

remember then is hdh

Meiz said...

"remember then is the lowest form of conversation"


TONY SOPRANO!

ZOMG! I'm teh awsum!


/lp

El Padrino said...

i might go here sat night

isiah thompson said...

remember then is hdh


bleu doesn't get it


deke gets it

isiah thompson said...

Beer Tube ................................ $30.00100 ounces of decadent beer. Any one of our drafts is available.


sounds interesting

El Padrino said...

cheap shots

isiah thompson said...

although it's cheaper to buy 8 beers instead of 100oz's

isiah thompson said...

that menu don't make no cents*

buy two buckets of "nip bottles" and it's only 2.50$/beer

El Padrino said...

Eyemuffs Jug.

"A motorcyclist caught driving with a suspended license at the Bronx-side entrance to the Throgs Neck Bridge decided to jump rather than face arrest yesterday. Rocky

Sanchez, 43, has had his license suspended 17 times, and when MTA Bridges and Tunnels Officer Charles Luce pulled him over by the toll plaza, Sanchez wasn't about to go down without a fight. First he sped away from Luce, then abandoned his motorcycle, ran across six lanes of traffic, climbed over the wall and jumped about 30 feet!"

El Padrino said...

you can change any of your yahoo picks just like i thought

clown

El Padrino said...

sg up early, edito must have chewed his ass out

El Padrino said...

edito

I'd like to buy an 'R' Vanna.

We want Spurrier back! said...

"backpedaling AWAY from the pocket"

backpeddling into the pocket would have been redonk, would have had to do an over the should toss

Deluxe said...

"remember then is the lowest form of conversation"

It's remember when, not then.

isiah thompson said...

I'd like to buy an 'R' Vanna.


you only buy vowels on WoF

and "an R" is suite

isiah thompson said...

dekeluxe is a quote nazi

isiah thompson said...

over the should

sounds like you brought more than knick-knacks back from Caput Mundi

Deluxe said...

"A motorcyclist caught driving with a suspended license at the Bronx-side entrance to the Throgs Neck Bridge decided to jump rather than face arrest yesterday. Rocky

Sanchez, 43, has had his license suspended 17 times, and when MTA Bridges and Tunnels Officer Charles Luce pulled him over by the toll plaza, Sanchez wasn't about to go down without a fight. First he sped away from Luce, then abandoned his motorcycle, ran across six lanes of traffic, climbed over the wall and jumped about 30 feet!"


This guy should have been in jail in the first place. 17 suspensions should be revoked for life.

Deluxe said...

I watch Sopranos over and over, I can't get enough. I wish they would have ended everything with atleast a 3 hour movie.

isiah thompson said...

you only buy vowels on WoF


that's how I play it in real life


/ep

isiah thompson said...

I watch Sopranos over and over, I can't get enough. I wish they would have ended everything with atleast a 3 hour movie.

I bet they make a few Soprano movies. Hopefully they do a scene from a few years before that one chick got kilt and they show her nekkid. Adrianna or whatever her name was.

Deluxe said...

Finally got some Call of Duty in on the PS3 last night. BADASS!

isiah thompson said...

Finally got some Call of Duty in on the PS3 last night. BADASS!


the new one?

they're closing the office down for a week in late december, I'm thinking of doing nothing but playing xbox360 and getting drunk that week.

isiah thompson said...

are you faggots doing TPS today or what?


wft, you

blue said...

that chick is on desperate housewives now...after her awesome stint on "joey"

Deluxe said...

"I bet they make a few Soprano movies. Hopefully they do a scene from a few years before that one chick got kilt and they show her nekkid. Adrianna or whatever her name was."

It would be tough to do flashback stuff, they are all getting pretty old. Carmela and Melfi can only look good for so long. I don't know how everyone else sees it but, I think Tony got clipped after the screen goes black.

Damn you David Chase, I need closure.

isiah thompson said...

I bet he got 187'd eventually but not at the diner.

Steve said...

"I think Tony got clipped after the screen goes black"




^^^^^^^

Deluxe said...

"the new one?"

No, but I'll be getting it shortly. I'm going to finish the one I just started first. It's my first time playing Call of Duty. I just got the PS3 Wednesday. I've got the day off Monday. I am playing it all day. I may still get up at 6:15 jsut so I can get a solid 10 hours in.

El Padrino said...

woke up this morning, got myself a gun

got myself a gun

El Padrino said...

every movie gandolfini is in i cant help but think he's tony soprano

that pelham movie where he plays the mayor is hilarity

isiah thompson said...

that pelham movie where he plays the mayor is hilarity


ahahahah, just saw this last weekend and thought the same thing.

whenever he goes high pitched-type voice without the "yous" it's hilarity.

Meiz said...

"I think Tony got clipped after the screen goes black"


Tony got clipped WHEN the screen went black. Not after.

Deluxe said...

"every movie gandolfini is in i cant help but think he's tony soprano"


^^^^^^^^^^^

isiah thompson said...

Tony got clipped WHEN the screen went black. Not after.

ah so now you're a hollywood script writer, got it.

helluva a career path you've had deke

Deluxe said...

NBA Live 2010 should be here in 1-5 days.

El Padrino said...

the idea was to leave fans hanging, he might have gotten clipped, then again he might not have been clipped

Deluxe said...

anyone played any of The Godfather games?

Steve said...

"Tony got clipped WHEN the screen went black. Not after."
"the idea was to leave fans hanging, he might have gotten clipped, then again he might not have been clipped"

i think it's straight forward. it was the second to last episode (maybe the last, i can't remember). but he's having a dream about Pussy. and he ask what death is like. Pussy tells him everything goes silent and all you see is blackness...or something like that.


I miss Sopranos.

Meiz said...

Sweetheart, your rack is HDH today.


Good lawd.

Deluxe said...

The only thing that makes me doubt he got clipped was because the fam was with him.

It does have that vibe of The Godfather when Michael goes to the can to get the gun.

The guy going to the can in the Members Only jacket.

"80% of the time you end up in the can or on the embalming table at Cozorellis*"

isiah thompson said...

Pussy tells him everything goes silent and all you see is blackness...or something like that.



the best part of that episode was me axing why fmz fucked up the cable and made everything black.

aitch

isiah thompson said...

"80% of the time you end up in the can or on the embalming table at Cozorellis*"


60% of the time, he gets killed everytime.

Deluxe said...

"I miss Sopranos."

^^^^^^^^^

Deluxe said...

I just watched all 3 of The Godfather. I may have to watch Donnie Brasco or Mobsters this weekend.

El Padrino said...

bob ross

Deluxe said...

It smells like Bigfoots dick!!!!

Deluxe said...

it would be sweet to have a Bob Ross original hanging up.

isiah thompson said...

bob ross


fascinating, thanks for linking. ns


joy of painting was great, dood was a geenus* with a paint brush.

Deluxe said...

I would watch re-runs of his show if they were on.

Meiz said...

I love Bob Ross

isiah thompson said...

I would watch re-runs of his show if they were on.


^^^^^^

isiah thompson said...

bob ross had a voice that would make a wolverine pur

Meiz said...

Lets just put a couple of happy little clouds in the sky

isiah thompson said...

vandite brown


he always had crazy color names

tem said...

"This guy should have been in jail in the first place. "

he was but they didn't have his last meal in stock so they set him free.

isiah thompson said...

the iggles are averaging 3 points in the 4th Q this season.

isiah thompson said...

Denver Broncos Coach Josh McDaniels and middle linebacker London Fletcher were teammates at John Carroll University. Fletcher is among the players McDaniels respects most in the league.


dang mayne

El Padrino said...

forgot calipari is the kentucky coach

El Padrino said...

fletcher is a hell of a football player

Keef said...

buzzed

El Padrino said...

“What I’ve always tried to do is undersell and overdeliver,” Calipari said. “It’s a little bit harder here.”


no shit john

isiah thompson said...

“What I’ve always tried to do is undersell and overdeliver, and never, ever over-pay for a player” Calipari said. “It’s a little bit harder here.”


*fized

isiah thompson said...

Keef said...
buzzed, franzia-style, you.

Keef said...

"meiz/zeke/keef/MVN

you guys like Drake?"



bilok's name is drake

ns

Keef said...

"doesn't help. It would be nice to have a number 1 receiver. sometimes they seem way off on their routes, but they have been better than i expected, especially bennett and knox"


Greg Olsen is a good #1 target

Keef said...

"they can't have bubble gum either...bastards!"


Smirnoff has a bubble gum flavored vodker now. Haven't had it but it sounds awful

isiah thompson said...

was keef doing franzia-stands?

Keef said...

"The Office was horrible last night. I mean bad. And not bad meaning good but bad meaning bad."


I thought it was pretty funny.

isiah thompson said...

I thought it was pretty funny.

you also are a huge opera fan.

ToddPacker said...

"franzia-stands"

funny

Keef said...

"and "an R" is suite"



An R is correct

ToddPacker said...

"I miss Sopranos."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

isiah thompson said...

An R is correct


is it?

I thought it was just vowels was correct?

ToddPacker said...

block

ToddPacker said...

block

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