Friday, October 23, 2009

El Pad's Weekly Betting Guide

Taking the Yahoo lines, if they change oh well. Every pick is worth 100 units.

Just remember as you read this I'm just waking up, hopefully, and will probably wash my mouth out with some rum, then go down to the breakfast buffet and eat 11 pounds of bacon then take a dip in the salty, calm, turquiose Carribean sea.

EAD, DET, lean back nigga.

Overall: 13-18-1
Last Week: 0-4-1
Situation: -1200

BROWNS +7 over Green Bay
That O-line is turrible right now. Any front can get to Rodgers.

Colts -13 over RAMS
Suicide pick da jour.

PITTSBURGH -4 over Farveputians
6-1, Steelers hit Farve alot and hopefully the weather sucks.

New England -14 over TAMPA
59-0 again?

San Fran +3 over TEXANS
Can't figure the Houston squad out, I think it's their turn to lose this weekend.

Bears +1.5 over BENGALS
They have to win a road game. They have too.

Falcons +3.5 over DALLAS
Cowboys shouldn't give points right now, especially to a team that is clearly better than them. I don't care if the game is played at Jerry Jones's house with Troy Aikman as the ref.

New Orleans -6 over MIAMI
My god. The Saints are what weazy would call, REDONK.

NYG -7 over Arizona
Let's see what the Giants are made of. Are they imposters or champions?

SKINS +6.5 over Eagles
The Sherminator reigns supreme.

Piece out Mon!

581 comments:

1 – 200 of 581   Newer›   Newest»
Jugdish said...

back!

blue said...

to the hotel

Jugdish said...

lots of hilarity today




s

tem said...

good post freak.

blue said...

oh look, it's tem

tem said...

indeed

tem said...

i survived pirate town.

blue said...

good times

blue said...

herm edwards is smat.


"fancy names, big time players, lots of hype, but this game will be decided on the field"

tem said...

which game?

tem said...

TB will not lose 59-0

blue said...

vikings/stillers

blue said...

they will lose by more?

blue said...

yankees are one the ropes

tem said...

"they will lose by more?"

or less.

or maybe the same spread, but they will not lose 59-0.

Steve said...

"i survived pirate town."


you should have waited until next weekend to go.

Steve said...

"yankees are one the ropes"


if they end up losing it will bring me much joy.

tem said...

"you should have waited until next weekend to go."

why?

Steve said...

Halloween is a big big party at ECU.

They close off city blocks. Countless arrest. People usually die.

Good Times!

tem said...

i think they have a halloween party at OSU too.

blue said...

"Halloween is a big big party at ECU.

They close off city blocks. Countless arrest. People usually die."

you could say this about 48 different schools

tem said...

no arrests or deaths though.

just slutty girls.

weather is nicer down there though, so the girls can probably dress even sluttier.

ToddPacker said...

"Overall: 13-18-1
Last Week: 0-4-1"

ep is not having a good season

blue said...

girls dress slutty anywhere

doesn't matter what the weather is

Steve said...

"ep is not having a good season"


i bet his one ebay subscriber is pissed.

Steve said...

blue is kinda defensive about Halloween parties.

Halloween parties must suck in Denver.

ToddPacker said...

"i bet his one ebay subscriber is pissed"

he saves his good picks for ebay

s

ToddPacker said...

fla/uga game falls on halloween this year... i'm hoping uga chicks show up with the slutty costumes

Steve said...

take your camera

tem said...

"i bet his one ebay subscriber is pissed."

he gives them the gems.

ToddPacker said...

"take your camera"

my camera is on a giant tri-pod and has a huge flash bulb and only takes black & white photos

blue said...

"blue is kinda defensive about Halloween parties."

no, just seems like everyone has a "______ university is crazy at halloween" story

ToddPacker said...

no, just seems like everyone has a "______ community college is crazy at halloween" story

/ep

Steve said...

no, just seems like everyone has a "______ university is crazy at halloween

Yea, but Athens and Greenville have earned it.

Steve said...

got poker tonight, I’ve won 3 of the last 4 games.


I plan on the streak continuing.

Spaceman Spiff said...

doesnt seem like kermit lackey will be re-signing with the angels

ToddPacker said...

"got poker tonight, I’ve won 3 of the last 4 games."

i guess the other guys have bigger helmets

Keef said...

Fuentes is pretty solid

ToddPacker said...

lackey was pissed

Keef said...

women are crazy

Steve said...

"i guess the other guys have bigger helmets"

that and they're all lightweights. just gotta wait them out.

ToddPacker said...

"Fuentes is pretty solid"

yeah, shaky 9th

Keef said...

We need to get a more comfortable corch*

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Fuentes is pretty solid"

he said even his mom gets pissed at him

blue said...

fuentes even scurs his momma

Keef said...

Is this important?

Keef said...

Where are the bananas?

/LP

blue said...

fuentes momma i2i

ToddPacker said...

"Where are the bananas?

/LP"

hilarity

blue said...

"Yea, but Athens and Greenville have earned it."

and UCSB and Pepperdine and Arizona State and North Dakota State, and Bemidji State, and Elon

Steve said...

I don't know who she is but...damn

The rest of the pics are NSFW

blue said...

her tits are weird

Keef said...

I don't think Arizona State has a huge Halloween reputation

blue said...

i was just picking skools but thanks for playing as.

Steve said...

"I don't think Arizona State has a huge Halloween reputation"

i'm pretty sure North Dakota State is out too.

Meiz said...

"Is this important?"


I'd say no

blue said...

that website has Texas ranked as the #1 party school and ASU isn't even on the list

that list is suck

ToddPacker said...

""I don't think Arizona State has a huge Halloween reputation"

uf has big jortoween parties

Steve said...

You suck, Brady.

blue said...

that's some funny shit

Keef said...

"that website has Texas ranked as the #1 party school and ASU isn't even on the list"

It's more about academics now



















s

kodiac said...

and UCSB and Pepperdine and Arizona State and North Dakota State, and Bemidji State, and Elon

aitch

Isiah Thompson said...

We need to get a more comfortable corch*


tix convo didn't go over well?

blue said...

TP knows, the most important purchase is the couch..

kodiac said...

I hate halloween; bad things always end up happening when I go out.

-I took a 5 year break or so from going out on Halloween, but apparently, this year I will be going out.

Keef said...

"tix convo didn't go over well?"

There is no good news, man

blue said...

did she at least laugh at the cop story?

Keef said...

You still going to the golf tourney, zeke?

Keef said...

"did she at least laugh at the cop story?"

I didn't tell the story. I said I got a ticket, she flipped out and decided that being a huge bitch was the best way to handle it

blue said...

ah, got it

maybe if you'd have asked her if she wanted the good news or the bad news first

Keef said...

hilarity

Meiz said...

"Where are the bananas?

/LP"


I am the least racist person you'll meet.


/LP

Keef said...

"Suicide pick da jour" made me aitch

Isiah Thompson said...

You still going to the golf tourney, zeke?

looks like it, I waited to buy tix, figuring I'd buy them at the last second online but they stopped selling them online. So I need to call Fry's and see if they sell them or just go to the tourney and get them there.

ToddPacker said...

"I didn't tell the story. I said I got a ticket, she flipped out and decided that being a huge bitch was the best way to handle it"


shit happens... speeding tickets aren't worth fighting over

Keef said...

"shit happens... speeding tickets aren't worth fighting over"

Everything is worth fighting over to her

Keef said...

I know why she is pissed but she just handled it badly

ToddPacker said...

"Everything is worth fighting over to her"

shut up and paint the house again... got it

s

ToddPacker said...

i'm watching this golden compass movie on hbo.... it's not sucking me*

blue said...

blue is also working from home

he is watching Elmo's world though

not sucking me either

Isiah Thompson said...

"Everything is worth fighting over for women"

*fized

Isiah Thompson said...

NASHVILLE, Tenn. -- The wife of former Titans general manager Floyd Reese called a Nashville radio station Thursday to blast the team and Jeff Fisher, a day after hearing talk that her husband has hated the coach since losing a power struggle in Tennessee.

Sally Reese waited until her husband was on a plane headed to London with the New England Patriots then called WGFX-FM to defend him on air. Reese was let go by the Titans when his contract expired in January 2007.

"He kept Jeff from getting fired two times," Reese said of her husband. "So if he'd let him get fired, he'd still be there. Hello? That's hindsight. ... Sunday I was hoping they'd run it to 100. And I love Tennessee. All you Tennessee people, my dad's from Tennessee, but when you get sucker punched, you want to sucker punch back."



case in point

ToddPacker said...

"he is watching Elmo's world though"

i just switched to parks and rec. from the dvr... seems funnier this season

blue said...

that's why i don't tell my wife who i hate

Isiah Thompson said...

i just switched to parks and rec. from the dvr... seems funnier this season


peeped game on half of last nights episode.

it's aight.

it's pretty much the office with a different name and cast.


cue: "so it's not the office, got it" comment

blue said...

i watched that parks and rec last night...it has it's moments...would be better if amy poehler didn't suck

she's trying too hard to be michael scott

blue said...

i got the same vibe Zeke...

Isiah Thompson said...

when me and fmz really get into a good fight she'll bring up shit from like 5 years ago. Then I call her an idiot or irrational and it gets worse.

Isiah Thompson said...

if amy poehler didn't suck


I thought she was really hot in BoG, but that baby weight has really plumped her up.

Isiah Thompson said...

p-n-r = the office i2i

ToddPacker said...

"it's pretty much the office with a different name and cast"

yup

H said...

Keef, 81 in a 55 qualifies as driving to endanger and an automatic court date and likely loss of license.

Isiah Thompson said...

Keef, 81 in a 55 qualifies as driving to endanger and an automatic court date and likely loss of license in Boston.


*fized

Meiz said...

"when me and fmz really get into a good fight she'll bring up shit from like 5 years ago. Then I call her an idiot or irrational and it gets worse."


I do not miss this stuff at all.

H said...

Good fix Keef. That's what I meant.

Isiah Thompson said...

I do not miss this stuff or sex at all.


*fized

Jugdish said...

You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.

H said...

"I do not miss this stuff at all"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

tem said...

that scene was different in the ohio version.

tem said...

sounds like i need to ketchup on as. ticket story.

Keef said...

"case in point"


Playing the role of El Padrino is zeke

Keef said...

"Keef, 81 in a 55 qualifies as driving to endanger and an automatic court date and likely loss of license."


Another reason why I'm glad I don't live in Boston

Keef said...

"Good fix Keef. That's what I meant."

zeke fized* it

Isiah Thompson said...

"case in point"


Playing the role of El Padrino is zeke


isn't that the right saying?

tem said...

by the by when i got pulled over in ohio 10 years ago they showed me the maintenance schedule for the gun.

tem said...

case in point is a legit phrase.

Keef said...

"isn't that the right saying?"

Yes. But the story had already been linked

Keef said...

Although I think I remember LP saying "case and point" one time

ns

Isiah Thompson said...

or was keef saying someone already linked the floyd reese wife story?

Isiah Thompson said...

Yes. But the story had already been linked

ah, hi*-c

Isiah Thompson said...

hi-c*



do they still make that shit?

tem said...

yes they make it.

tem said...

they make low-c for el pad.

tem said...

el tardo picks and shit is up.

Jugdish said...

they make low-c for el pad.



hilarity

Keef said...

Hi-C and Sunny Delight are grate*

ns

ToddPacker said...

hawaiian punch is grate* too

Keef said...

Capri Suns are great if you freeze them

Isiah Thompson said...

if I'm going "off the menu" (from mt.dew or pepsi) I go with grape soda.

DET

H said...

"Another reason why I'm glad I don't live in Boston"

Speeding > 20mph over the limit is driving to endanger here. It does suck.

Isiah Thompson said...

if I'm going "off the menu" (from mt.dew or pepsi) I go with grape soda.

DET



I bet grape soda washes down the fried chicken and watermelon real nic, huh you fucking monkey.

/ep

Keef said...

Can't remember the last time I hate greap* soda

ToddPacker said...

"Can't remember the last time I hate greap* soda"

same here... might have to go get some

Meiz said...

"Capri Suns are great if you freeze them"


COLOV

tem said...

"Can't remember the last time I hate greap* soda"

i always hate it.

tem said...

how do you get capri sun out of the bag if it is frozen?

just rip the bag open?

Isiah Thompson said...

just rip the bag open?


put it in the microwave (uh-oh)

Meiz said...

I miss going to the old-school liquor store that had coolers upon coolers of returnable sodas. They had so many delightful flavors and colors. That shit was HDH.

Isiah Thompson said...

This excerpt is from a chapter called "The What Ifs?", in which I rank the 33 biggest NBA "What Ifs" of all time. This was the No. 3 "What If?"


sweet baby jesus, he turned the "and then" game into a chapter!

I'm still probably gonna buy the book though.

ToddPacker said...

"I'm still probably gonna buy the book though."

don't do it, zeke

tem said...

whats a book?

Isiah Thompson said...

returnable sodas

::hot sauce::

Meiz said...

"returnable sodas

::hot sauce::"


Comes in a glass bottle. You can mix & match flavors.

blue said...

deluxe knows all about the returnable sodas

which reminds me, did you hear that tif and her boyfriend broke up? Yep, they were out at mancino's eating some pizza and kelly walked up and started a fight with tif about megatron3000 who they both dated back in tha day..

you remember that fool megatron, dude raked serious ass...

anyway, tif got pissed because her boyfriend didn't stand up for her, he just kept eating his pizza, so she dumped him

you should ask her out.

blue said...

mancinos does have some good pizza though

Spaceman Spiff said...

heard bout that blue, tif is a cunt

Spaceman Spiff said...

wexler tolt me about it, he also said kelly was looking damn good.

by the way, seen jackson on a moped a few days ago, whats up with that, though he was rollin in a honda.

do you know if he lost his job

ToddPacker said...

::32 oz hot sauce::

blue said...

jackson is all environmental now...he's all about greenpiece or some shit...that's why he's riding the moped

blue said...

"::32 oz hot sauce::"

exactly

H said...

Yea that nigga lost his job. They caught him takin chedda from the cash register again.

blue said...

aitch knows

blue said...

are you not entertained?

Spaceman Spiff said...

fucking jackson, he always was a character, dude is a fooool.

he used to wax poetic to that one hoe, janine. she never gave him any play though. but my boy darius hooked up with her. and so did i, almost

Isiah Thompson said...

megatron3000 was a pimp though, I was stunned when he went clergy.

Isiah Thompson said...

he used to wax poetic to that one hoe, janine. she never gave him any play though. but my boy darius hooked up with her. and so did i, almost

janine with the braile nipples?

Spaceman Spiff said...

just the tip





of my middle finger

Spaceman Spiff said...

megatron3000 just clergy to freeload off the church, still hitting bitches on the side

cant hold him down, know what im sayin!

blue said...

"but my boy darius hooked up with her. and so did i, almost"

the almost hookup is classic

tem said...

::tem stare::

Isiah Thompson said...

megatron3000 just clergy to freeload off the church, still hitting bitches on the side


Tiny saw him at the Harvest Festival macking on a dood, but you didn't hear that from me.

blue said...

tem missed a lot the last 2 days

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Tiny saw him at the Harvest Festival macking on a dood, but you didn't hear that from me."

word? fuckin guido

Isiah Thompson said...

Puerto Rico is on fire.

H said...

Yo I heard about megatron3000 hookin up with dudes. I think him and D-Train hooked up back in the day.

blue said...

it's real to me

H said...

Improv is suite

Isiah Thompson said...

Yo I heard about megatron3000 hookin up with dudes. I think him and D-Train hooked up back in the day.


I'd believe it, Cassie was at the Festival (she brought her kids, ugh), she was telling me all about his "secret" life. She ended up jerking johnny off behind the main tent when she was wasted.

she's a hot mess.

blue said...

meiz/deluxe is not amused

blue said...

"she was telling me all about his "secret" life. She ended up jerking johnny off behind the main tent when she was wasted.

she's a hot mess."

and to think, I hooked up with her once...almost

Meiz said...

I am entertained

blue said...

we could right* a book

blue said...

this zeke/magic pissing match is hilarity

H said...

Blue, spiff. Well done sirs.

Meiz said...

megatron3000 is pretty funny

Spaceman Spiff said...

eltardo niba preview up

Isiah Thompson said...

just went to the grocery store to buy golf tix. they spit out a long ass receipt like thing that says "this is not a ticket, please redeem at the ticket office" or something.

why sell the fucking things if I still have to go to the ticket window.

wft

Isiah Thompson said...

(Speaking of McHale, do you know that the Clippers own Minnesota's unprotected 2011 No. 1 pick thanks to Kevin McHale's Sam Cassell/Marko Jaric swap? It's true


condolences kodpiece

ToddPacker said...

"just went to the grocery store to buy golf tix. they spit out a long ass receipt like thing that says "this is not a ticket, please redeem at the ticket office" or something.

why sell the fucking things if I still have to go to the ticket window.

wft"


did the person at the store say, "i have some good news and i have some bad news"?

Meiz said...

There is no good news, man.

Meiz said...

New guy got a new job. Good for him.

Isiah Thompson said...

If he crosses LeBron like he crossed Nash, he'll be getting the Braylon Edwards 48-hour ticket out of town.


hilarity

H said...

Top Chef on demand.

DET

ToddPacker said...

"Top Chef on demand.

DET"


restaurant wars

Isiah Thompson said...

restaurant wars


I was surprised that two of the top dogs pooped their pants like that. (gay burly dood and philly bitch)

Keef said...

"how do you get capri sun out of the bag if it is frozen?"


Cut the top off and eat it like a popsicle

Isiah Thompson said...

Black Barbie's debut
The new black Barbies released by Mattel have received cheers from some and criticism from others


Blarbie

kodiac said...

yeah, that was a massacre last week on RW

Keef said...

Dana White just callt "Big Country" from the ultimate fighter the dumbest person he's ever met

ToddPacker said...

"I was surprised that two of the top dogs pooped their pants like that. (gay burly dood and philly bitch)"

yeah... more surprised that cancer lady did well

Isiah Thompson said...

I'd like to see the two brothers have a chef's knife fight.

Keef said...

Where are tem's UFC104 picks?

Isiah Thompson said...

Zorn: "My deal is, I'm the head football coach. I want to be here for next 10 years. That's my story. I have a contract, it says what it says"


it says what it says is suite

ToddPacker said...

"I'd like to see the two brothers have a chef's knife fight."

i like when the one brother said, keep the fuckin money

Keef said...

Annie Leibovitz shoots Obama family photo


Like on a target?

blue said...

did you just EP your own link?

Keef said...

No. AZCentral link said "Annie Leibovitz shoots Obama family photo". Just sounded funny

Keef said...

I wasn't restating my original link. I was laughing at what the azcentral link said

Keef said...

apology accepted

Spaceman Spiff said...

"I was surprised that two of the top dogs pooped their pants like that. (gay burly dood and philly bitch)"

bound to happen and that bitch is having self esteem issues, ripert needs to choke a bitch. what i dont get is, what was piven doing after he finished his easy appetizers, he didnt offer to help out

ToddPacker said...

"what was piven doing after he finished his easy appetizers, he didnt offer to help out"

good point, spiff

Keef said...

"that bitch is having self esteem issues"


shocking

Keef said...

cooking show gets a ::flank steak:: from me

Meiz said...

"cooking show gets a ::flank steak:: from me"



^^^^

Jugdish said...

most of todays comments get a

::kevin cott::

from me

Keef said...

The Northwest Airlines plane whose pilots flew past their destination by 150 miles had an older model cockpit voice recorder that only captures 30 minutes at a time, safety investigators said Friday.


Older black boxes are the worse

Keef said...

uh oh, jug

kodiac said...

I would have cut that one motherfucker if he tried to mess with my dessert

-cancer chick was pissed...she was right to be pissed!

Keef said...

that banter earlier got a ::flava flav:: from me, but I still laught*

Keef said...

bold

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 581   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino