Friday, October 09, 2009

El Pad's Weekly Betting Guide

Little treat for a Friday, hopefully this motivates you to WIN WIN WIN at whatever it is you are doing today. Go get em champ.



Ok, now you are pumped up.

I was flipping around last night and saw the "Premiere" of the first UFL game on Versus. It was the California Redwoods vs the Las Vegas Locomotives. Dennis Green pitted against Jim Fassel. Very interesting. First, JP Losman is the Las Vegas QB. Marcel Ship is the RB and PJ Sams is the return man for the Redwoods. The rest of the players seemed to be smaller and slower than any NFL talent I've seen. Which makes for a pretty bad game. The game was actually competitive and I did stick around until the 4th quarter so I don't know what that says about me. I know I'm a football junkie and can be entertained as easily as a cat with a carpeted pole but in retrospect this was painful to watch. I'd probably watch it again if nothing else was on. Denzel Washington's kid was the RB for California. Also there was about four to six thousand people in the stands. Maybe. I'm awful at guesstimating shit like that, one time I entered a contest/raffle to guess how many jelly beans was in a jar and I guess like 600 and it turned out to be like 1600. So I lost.

Not surprised the Dodgers won. Albeit on a error basically. Ryan Franklin WAS SHOOK after that. Poor Holliday. Actually, if he played in NY or Boston he would have been shot by now. In St. Loo they all probably left an apple pie on his porch. Dodgers must close out game 3 or the Cards will end up getting to Carp and Wainwright (who was brilliant) again. And then, then, I would expect the Cards to win. Dodgers get it done though. I think they sweep and Colorado upsets the reverends. Be careful though Blue, Phillies have a much better road record. NL WEST, NLCS will happen. Boring I know. But ever since Torre took that Dodger job you just knew he would end up facing the Yankees in the World Series. You know it, I know it, we just have to come to terms with it, accept it and move on. It's football season for crissakes anyway. None of you should care cept blue, H, rev, spiff and T.

Overall : 11-12
Situation : -550
Last Week : 4-3

Nothing at the college board grabs me. Yet.

Tampa Bay +14.5 over EAGLES
Just think McNabb will struggle, usually does after some time off. Enough so Tampa stays within striking distance. Hell maybe even a crazy upset. Probably not but they will start giving Cadillac the ball more and he is their best player, even with two fake knees. Which is sad.
($200)

Browns +6 over BILLS
Buffalo giving points is a joke right now. They are as bad or worse than any of the bottom 5 teams except for the Raiders. Dick Jauron hot seat is on FIYYAAAAAAA after this one.
($250)

CAROLINA -3.5 over Redskins
Time to get on the board. Skins are worse than anyone thought.
($150)

Minnesota -11.5 over St. LOO
Massacre at the Ed Jones dome.
($300)

680 comments:

1 – 200 of 680   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

Maybe it's just me but as soon as I saw the kid in EP's video trying to look tough while fake playing a guitar while sitting on the goal post I had to stop watching it.

blue said...

Obama won the nobel peace prize...


IN YOU FACE peace


Thanks Obama

Jugdish said...

Obama won the nobel peace prize...


just heard that.

he has done so much, he really deserves it


S

Beth said...

My first thought when I heard Obama won the Nobel peace prize was "wow, they have one of those just for being a black president, who knew?"

Beth said...

So golf is returning to the Olympics in 2016 apparently. Start practicing more now Mize, we need a LOV rep there.

Jugdish said...

My first thought when I heard Obama won the Nobel peace prize was "wow, they have one of those just for being a black president, who knew?"

pretty much...i heard the nominations were put in back in Feb...so he was in office just a few weeks

Jugdish said...

So golf is returning to the Special Olympics in 2016 apparently. Start practicing more now Steve, we need a LOV rep there.


fiz

Jugdish said...

i think obama's beer summitt really decided it for the peace prize committee

Jugdish said...

IN YOU blackFACE Harry!

Jugdish said...

wava news

Beth said...

Just did my college picks for the LOV league and it felt very strange to not have the UGA game on there.

I know they're not a great team by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm still convinced they are one of the top 25 in the nation.

ToddPacker said...

wft is with that video

ToddPacker said...

they are, beth

Jugdish said...

a young H

Steve said...

I'm going to watch fox news all day/night.

It's going to be fun watching them have a collective seizure.

Jugdish said...

i can't handle news that long...ns


but even you have to admit its a bit redonk that he won.

Jugdish said...

mize...get this, then add your 128 MB stick of ram, and you should be good to go

Steve said...

"but even you have to admit its a bit redonk that he won."

it's ridiculous that he even got nominated.

Jugdish said...

Giants offensive coordinator Kevin Gilbride has no doubts about Carr.



he might be the only one...

Jugdish said...

it's ridiculous that he even got nominated.


ok...i take back my special olympics comment

tem said...

" and can be entertained as easily as a cat with a carpeted pole"


80 mph fastball right down the middle

El Padrino said...

"Obama won the nobel peace prize..."

Rooney rule.

El Padrino said...

"Giants offensive coordinator Kevin Gilbride has no doubts about Carr."

when jamarcus russell is the qb for the other team you can pretty much trot out frank gifford at this point

tem said...

"Obama won the nobel peace prize."

that award is a joke. has been for years.

El Padrino said...

didnt yasser arafat win that thing once?

tem said...

"Giants offensive coordinator Kevin Gilbride has no doubts about Carr."

i have no doubts on him.

no doubt he sucks.

El Padrino said...

"wft is with that video"

white kids trying to be black

wiggers i think they call them

tem said...

yes, that is one name.

Just Plain H said...

I'm not gonna lie, I'm in a pretty bad mood. And it has nothing to do with the Sox loss.

El Padrino said...

h's anger is among us

tem said...

what does it have to do with?

FB 1, FB 2, FB 3?

blue said...

I kept waiting for moxon to show up in that video and lance harbor on crutches

blue said...

where was billybob?

tem said...

oh, it wasn't a varsity blues clip?

i didn't watch it, just assumed it was varisty blues.

blue said...

win win win

Jugdish said...

Fuck Kilmer!

Jugdish said...

tweeter, do you think you'll enjoy prison?

Jugdish said...

you know beth has done the whipped cream bikini on more than one occasion

Just Plain H said...

"what does it have to do with?

FB 1, FB 2, FB 3?"

None of the above. Finances.

blue said...

oh, we're the king of financial advise here.

blue said...

i mean, if you google, financial advisors...LoV comes up like 3rd in the google search

tem said...

"Finances."

you are engaged to multiple womens?

blue said...

we're financial advisors with titty links

blue said...

"you are engaged to multiple womens?"

uh oh, tem has engagements on the mind...

ngftem better watchout, there might be something on the dresser for her

Just Plain H said...

I'm can't deny being an angry person. I don't have the same delusions as Mize

El Padrino said...

stocks and sports LLc baby

blue said...

we've helped LP shrink his debt by $15K

My Colon Is Fine said...

"None of the above. Finances."



Your engaged?

/LP

blue said...

if you'd have bought C when LP advised, you would have quadrupled your money by now.

Jugdish said...

we've helped LP shrink his debt by $15K


plus he has a thriving eBay business and a suite gambling advice column.

soon he will be doing podcasts with rev

blue said...

our advise got miez out of a neverending kkk black hole

blue said...

just wait until my LoV book comes out...there will be riches for everyone

Jugdish said...

we helped keef get a new yob and an inlimited supply of franzia

Jugdish said...

unlimited

blue said...

we helped keith get his deposit back on the place he was renting


we're the best advisors around

Just Plain H said...

"ngftem better watchout"

Good thing there won't be a ngtem. He can't close.

Jugdish said...

we give SG ideas for his columns asswell

My Colon Is Fine said...

"we helped keith get his deposit back on the place he was renting"


Don't be ridiculous

Jugdish said...

LOV: Making the Worlt* a Better Place

El Padrino said...

"The man of 'change' hasn't changed anything yet."

IN YOU FACE OBAMA

Beth said...

"you know beth has done the whipped cream bikini on more than one occasion"

Let's just say whipped cream in real life does not stay on like it did in the movie.

blue said...

beth used cool whip...rookie mistake

JFreak said...

Double SG day

Jugdish said...

How about BBQ sauce?

El Padrino said...

freak's up early again

blue said...

"You have been selected to participate in the second round of the Colorado Rockies 2009 NLCS first-come, first-served, online only purchase opportunity which starts today, October 9, 2009 at 11 a.m. MT and ends at 8 p.m. MT today, October 9, 2009"

suite

Steve said...

did EP just quote an iraqi muslim?

yes, yes he did.

tem said...

"Good thing there won't be a ngtem. He can't close."

H is bringing the heat because he is cranky. I'm ok with that.

Misery loves company.

tem said...

"freak's up early again"

TWFSDS

tem said...

box score description for Missouri's safety:

"- Team Tackled By Trey Hobson In End Zone "


so he tackled their whole team at once? he is a beast.

blue said...

"Misery loves company."

no, he moved into a place by himself

ToddPacker said...

"no, he moved into a place by himself"

hilarity

Beth said...

"no, he moved into a place by himself"

Wow that was funny.

ToddPacker said...

working from home today and tps is piling up... wft

ToddPacker said...

beth who is the opening act for u2?

El Padrino said...

"Man got damn Im bored as hell, what are yall doing? I ate 3 honeybuns, oatmeal pie and a pop tart with a jungle juice (fruit punch)

@OGOchoCinco (Chad Ochocinco, Cincinnati Bengals)"

ghetto

El Padrino said...

"beth who is the opening act for u2?"

T1

El Padrino said...

not funny el pad



i know

Beth said...

"beth who is the opening act for u2?"

Muse, they have the hit "Starlight". I wasn't too familiar with them but actually really liked them. They played for 45 minutes here.

El Padrino said...

"That ball got lost in 50,000 white towels shaking in front of Matt's face," Wainwright said. "It doesn't really seem fair that an opposing team should be able to allow their fans to shake white towels when there's a white baseball flying through the air. How about Dodger Blue towels?"

is he really blaming the towels?

ToddPacker said...

"muse"

got it... concert is tonight here in tampa. i think i'll get drunk and make cmtp drive home, then sleep on the couch

ToddPacker said...

"is he really blaming the towels?"

sounds like it

blue said...

holliday missing that line drive was hilarity

hit him in the nuts

blue said...

blame that if you want, but Franklin still walked Blake and then gave up 2 more hits after that

tem said...

the towels are dangerous. stop the towels.

tem said...

Blake has a beard.

Did you expect him to not walk him?

He
has
a
beard
!

blue said...

larussa looked like he needed a drink and pass out in his car after the game

JFreak said...

I wrote retarded and it looked wrong because of how much lov writes ratarded.

Just Plain H said...

"muse"

Good band

El Padrino said...

"blame that if you want, but Franklin still walked Blake and then gave up 2 more hits after that"

walk, hit, walk, hit

ballgame

ryan franklin sucks

El Padrino said...

in all fairness to holliday, good closers shrug that off and get it done

Just Plain H said...

""muse"

Good band"

That belongs on LoM!!!

/EP

blue said...

agreed

tem said...

i concur

blue said...

h has LOM jealousy

tem said...

h is going to rob a bank.

Spaceman Spiff said...

on the news they said they give to nobel peace prize in the middle of something to offer that person encouragement

still redonk

Spaceman Spiff said...

holliday misses balls and plates, interesting, maybe he needs lasik

blue said...

suite hdh there spiffer

Spaceman Spiff said...

holliday will be playing for the mess soon so he wont be in any more pressure situations, he can rest easy

My Colon Is Fine said...

"holliday misses balls and plates, interesting, maybe he needs lasik"

LP hasn't missed any balls since he got lasik

blue said...

zeke must have split* his wrists when he heard the obamer news, that's why he's not around yet

blue said...

"LP hasn't missed any balls since he got lasik"

says the guy who has balls smacking him in the head

Spaceman Spiff said...

hilarity

El Padrino said...

nice double dragon moment blue

Tyler said...

So, why are we at War with the Moon? Jug?

blue said...

if the moon was made of spare ribs would you eat it?

blue said...

i know i would

Just Plain H said...

"h is going to rob a bank"

Nah, I'll just be the wheel man

Tyler said...

"if the moon was made of spare ribs would you eat it?"

Yes.

Tyler said...

So, we're just trying to see if there is a vast supply of spare ribs under the Moon's surface. That's $79 million well spent, I say.

Tyler said...

The thing I like about Holliday missing that catch is that it also hit him right in the nuts. Excellent.

Meiz said...

Did I miss a solid lovad?

blue said...

i like holliday, think he's a pretty good player, don't really blame him for leaving the rockies...but it was still fun to see him flub that up

Isiah Thompson said...

our advise got miez out of a neverending kkk white hole


*fized

Isiah Thompson said...

zeke must have split* his wrists when he heard the obamer news, that's why he's not around yet


one of the first things I heard on the alarm clock radio this am.

twas hilarity.

IDGAF.

for real dough, all these accolights* are going to blow up in his face. He's been pissing on peoples legs and telling them it's raining and many people (*cough*the sheep here*cough*) believe him, many can already see through the BS.

It's put up or shut up time for Osama.

Meiz said...

"I thought it was just for this week but mize said 2 weeks. I don't believe him"


I don't really care

Meiz said...

I was straight up talking shit to bossman at the pub last night. And just throwing shit on his tab.

Spaceman Spiff said...

he still doesnt give you overtime or benefits

advantage: bossman

Jugdish said...

So, why are we at War with the Moon? Jug?

we gotta get them before they get us.

Jugdish said...

Obama says he is not sure he has done enough to earn Nobel Peace Prize



no shit?

Isiah Thompson said...

he still doesnt give you overtime or benefits

advantage: bossman


^^^^

Jugdish said...

overtime > free 128 MB sticks of ram

Isiah Thompson said...

Obama says he is not sure he has done enough to earn Nobel Peace Prize



no shit?


Have you guys heard the audio of the announcement?

instead of golf claps he got that shocked "uuuuhhhhhhhhhhh" sound.

pretty funny

Jugdish said...

h does have a bad temper

Isiah Thompson said...

Obama says he is not sure he has done enough to earn Nobel Peace Prize



no shit?



I wouldn't put it past Osama to use this to his advantage - it will give him another excuse to point back to bush's admin. and talk about the "mess" he was left.

he can get some more mileage out of it.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Marge Simpson will flash her yellow nipples and her toon poon in the pages of November's Playboy. Marge will even take the cover. The interview and three-page pictorial will run in honor of The Simpson 20th anniversary."

WFT

Isiah Thompson said...

WFT

Playboy is shook. They've run out of real poon to show? Even Pac-10 Poon wasn't that lazy.

El Padrino said...

can't wait, marge is a fox when she lets her hair down

El Padrino said...

wonder is she has a blue bush

El Padrino said...

toon poon kilt lov

blue said...

yeah, does the carpet match the drapes...that's what everyone is wondering

Isiah Thompson said...

if marge has roast beef I'll never look at her the same again.

blue said...

i hope her figure was not enhanced by a pushup bra

El Padrino said...

i'll let you guys know
it should come in the mail soon

blue said...

tmz.com will leak the pictures

El Padrino said...

"Senior Canadian member Dick Pound complained before the vote that the members were never told why the two sports were selected over the other five."

great name

El Padrino said...

so tiger can win a gold now?

Isiah Thompson said...

Arizona Cardinals defensive tackle Darnell Dockett's nickname is "Fart Box."

And it's now even more appropriate, given that he recently has emptied the contents of his G.I. tract on the franchise that signs his checks.

"I'm trying to do whatever I can to help my team win, but I'm not doing it for the organization," Dockett said Thursday, according to the Arizona Republic. "I'm doing it for my coach, my teammates, all the veteran guys in here. That's it."

Dockett remains unhappy with his contract, especially since others are noticing how good of a player he is.

El Padrino said...

troofs

Isiah Thompson said...

someone already leaked the Marge pics, I'm not impressed

El Padrino said...

hahahahahahhaa

meiz wouldnt go near that, he hates bush

Isiah Thompson said...

I put a 15 on Iowa.

*hanging head in shame*

El Padrino said...

Clinton Portis and his fullback Mike Sellers reportedly had to be separated and restrained during a verbal altercation earlier this week at the Redskins team facility.

According to Jason Reid of the Washington Post, Sellers confronted Portis after hearing that his lead back requested that Sellers be replaced during Washington's win over Tampa.

Steve said...

Pam can still bring the heat.

El Padrino said...

your crazy she's disgusting

Isiah Thompson said...

blocked on that pic but Pam is well past her sell-by date. There isn't many famous hot chicks that I wouldn't bang irregardless, but she's borderline at this point. Pussy probably smells like New Jersey.

My Colon Is Fine said...

"Pam can still bring the heat."

uh, negative ghostrider

My Colon Is Fine said...

"great name"


colov

El Padrino said...

she's a beast not with makeup and she has hep-c and bleeds semen

so there's that

My Colon Is Fine said...

if LP wouldn't hit it, you know it's gotta be bad

Isiah Thompson said...

bleeds semen


not unfunny

Isiah Thompson said...

EP would hit it, but it wouldn't include a 7 iron and a burrito.

just a step-stool and missionary position.

My Colon Is Fine said...

Is it really that important that we know whether or not there is water on the moon?

Steve said...

normally she's looks trashy and gross but that's a sexy picture.

El Padrino said...

"if LP wouldn't hit it, you know it's gotta be bad"

whoa, let's not get crazy i never said that

My Colon Is Fine said...

just a step-stool tommy lee's dong and missionary position.


*fized

My Colon Is Fine said...

"whoa, let's not get crazy i never said that"


your gross

My Colon Is Fine said...

does anyone have a nail gun I can borrow this afternoon?

El Padrino said...

"your gross"

i'm active, not gross

El Padrino said...

and in dont put pussy on a pedestal like some people do

Isiah Thompson said...

Is it really that important that we know whether or not there is water on the moon?

Poindexter thinks its important

My Colon Is Fine said...

"If you don't stop crying, I am going to stick you in the microwave!!!!" and "Fine, climb up the stairs again; I hope you fall down, I really do!"



cmsg sounds like a good mom

My Colon Is Fine said...

"and in dont put pussy on a pedestal like some people do"


Duh. You wouldn't be able to reach it.

El Padrino said...

you've made that joke before

Steve said...

"Is it really that important that we know whether or not there is water on the moon?"

If we know there is water on the moon to harvest it'll make colonizing the moon in years to comes easier.

My Colon Is Fine said...

"New Jersey Nyets"


funny

ToddPacker said...

"cmsg sounds like a good mom"

in sg's dead dog story didn't he talk about how the kid got out of the house and almost got hit by a car... sounds like they are on top of the parenting thing

My Colon Is Fine said...

"you've made that joke before"

and you still keep putting it on the platter

Isiah Thompson said...

yeah spiffg said his kid wandered out of the house and he found her in front of the bumper of a car in the middle of a street because he was watching a sawx game or some shit.

lEt'S gO SaWx!!111!1!

El Padrino said...

just living my life kid

Isiah Thompson said...

you've made that joke before

surprised you could hear it down there

El Padrino said...

what?

tem said...

height jokes still gold.

El Padrino said...

big weekend

golf
housewarming party
football (3 games)
christening
apple picking

My Colon Is Fine said...

LP bought a house

My Colon Is Fine said...

"FYI, while playing beer pong, if you throw it too far and completely miss the table, it is now called a "JaMarcus Russell.""


awsome*

El Padrino said...

psyche

ToddPacker said...

"LP bought a house"

funny

Isiah Thompson said...

big weekend

golf
housewarming party
football (3 elbows)
christening
apple picking


*fized

Steve said...

We've got a nice little Saturday planned. We're going to go to Home Depot- check out some wallpaper and flooring. Maybe Bed Bath and Beyond, I dont know, I dont know if we'll have enough time.

El Padrino said...

classic

ToddPacker said...

frank the tank is always funny, steve

My Colon Is Fine said...

We're moving all our shit tw

El Padrino said...

and nailing it to the walls?

tem said...

"apple picking"

WFT?

ToddPacker said...

"We're moving all our shit tw"

meiz is a better mover than keith... he's already in his new place

tem said...

"We're moving all our shit tw"

good luck.

try to get pics of nude hsilok

El Padrino said...

"apple picking"

WFT?"

what? you go to a farm and you pick your own apples, a family thing

dont be mad cuz i'm living the dream

tem said...

as. is moving for 2.

meiz just 1.

tem said...

i didn't realize your dream was so gay.

My Colon Is Fine said...

"try to get pics of nude hsilok"


She will be there, so I will effort

ToddPacker said...

"as. is moving for 2.

meiz just 1."

thanks for the update, tem

My Colon Is Fine said...

mize had nothing to move

My Colon Is Fine said...

"what? you go to a farm and you pick your own apples, a family thing

dont be mad cuz i'm living the dream"


I also go apple picking sometimes. It's callt the grocery store

El Padrino said...

"I also go apple picking sometimes. It's callt the grocery store"

no farms in az, too hot

My Colon Is Fine said...

"meiz is a better mover than keith... he's already in his new place"


I severely underestimated the amount of time it would take to put the floors down.

My Colon Is Fine said...

"no farms in az, too hot"

There are tons of farms here

ns

My Colon Is Fine said...

Orange orchards all over the place

El Padrino said...

what do they grow like mangos and limes?

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 680   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino