Tuesday, October 13, 2009

4SMURFS

License Plate

4SMURFS. I get what it says, but wft? Is the car for Smurfs? If so it is too big, Smurfs are 3 apples high, they couldn't possible see over the steering wheel or reach the pedals. Not even with 10 pillows and some extenda-legs stolen from the Special Olympics. Maybe the family that owns it is four Smurfs, or at least 4 people small in stature. We may never know.

temrant

I am in a woe mood today. So I don't have much rant-ability going right now. I'll say this though, lately people have been leaving their turn signals on way too often. Not just Asians, women and old people either. Like normal looking dudes who should know better. I don't know what is going on but I think it is a sign of the Apocalypse. If normal people can't drive right then I'm just going to lose it. In the pool.

tem thoughts on headlines

Sources: Ex-Jaguars' Jones to work out for Bucs - Is he going to snort coke or something?

Texas RBs day to day - Aren't we all just day to day?

Eli: Heel not aggravated against Raiders - So now his heel has feelings too?


I am too tired for that section to work. That sucked. Woe.

tem movie review

Zombieland

This movie is part comedy and part horror flick. Mostly comedy though. There are a couple good scenes that will make you jump, but for the most part it is just funny. Which is good because people like funny. So people should like this movie.

The basic plot is that Zombies have taken over the world. So there are like a handful of normal people left. Woody Harrelson is one and he is some sort of badass. He likes Dale Earnhardt and killing Zombies. I gotta say Woody is downright hilarious in this movie. Kind of like in Kingpin.

The other main character was supposed to be that Michael Cera guy, but apparently he wasn't available so they got Jessie Eisenberg. I have no clue who he is but Jessie Eisenberg is to Michael Cera and Omar Epps is to Wesley Snipes. That'll be on the SAT some day. Or ACT or whatever test you take for college nowadays.

So anyway, the two dudes meet up, decide to hang out, meet some chicks and hilarity ensues. I won't spoil any of the plot twists for you (since there are only like 2), but I will say that this is a good movie. You'll get exactly what you expect out of it, a few good laughs.

4 telmet stickers out of 5.

586 comments:

1 – 200 of 586   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

So since Mize no longer feels woe, is Tem taking that title from him?

El Padrino said...

so you saw Zombieland? or did you just nail the review without seeing it because you are a scientist?

Beth said...

"bears falcons on sunday night...you can't spell beth without bet."

Sure, straight up or you looking for points?

tem said...

i don't like having all this woe.

Jugdish said...

4SMURFS


might be Lp's car

tem said...

"so you saw Zombieland? or did you just nail the review without seeing it because you are a scientist?"

i pretended to see it, but what i pretended to see actually turned out to be what it was about.

Jugdish said...

Sure, straight up or you looking for points?


don't know...let me check the line

Beth said...

So are you saying "woe is me for having all this woe"?

Even mize never did that I don't think.

tem said...

"might be Lp's car"

his would be like 2.5SMURFS

Beth said...

Falcons are favored by 3.

And welcome back Cousin Eddie.

tem said...

"Even mize never did that I don't think."

i'm taking it to the next level. that's how i roll.

El Padrino said...

why doesnt keef have internets?

El Padrino said...

allow me to ketchup

ToddPacker said...

"i'm taking it to the next level. that's how i roll."

woe²

El Padrino said...

fucking huston street sucks

ToddPacker said...

"And welcome back Cousin Eddie."

yes, cousin eddie is grate*

ToddPacker said...

"fucking huston street sucks"

yup

Jugdish said...

Falcons are favored by 3.


i'm good with straight up

El Padrino said...

just realized i'll be in jamaica during the world series

woe

Jugdish said...

why doesnt keef have internets?



his wife won't let him

Jugdish said...

his wife won't let him because he gets free interwebs on franzianet


fixed

ToddPacker said...

"just realized i'll be in jamaica during the world series

woe"


if it's the yanks and phils, who really cares

ToddPacker said...

"franzianet"

nice

Keef said...

"why doesnt keef have internets?"


Because I try to cut costs when I need to save money. You should try it

Beth said...

"i'm good with straight up"

TNWKS


Sounds good to me of course, we've got a bet. 3 days?

El Padrino said...

"if it's the yanks and phils, who really cares"

good point

ToddPacker said...

"Because I try to cut costs when I need to save money. You should try it"


early morning as.

El Padrino said...

"Because I try to cut costs when I need to save money. You should try it"

you'll die miserable

the fuck you talking about anyway, it comes with cable

ToddPacker said...

"it comes with cable"

keith is a dtv guy

Keef said...

"the fuck you talking about anyway, it comes with cable"


::hank azaria::

Jugdish said...

Sounds good to me of course, we've got a bet. 3 days?



cool

tem said...

keith can just go to starbucks to get free wi-fi

Jugdish said...

Because I try to cut costs when I need to save money. You should try it


aja...id do the same thing. plus i have interwebs on my phone

El Padrino said...

"aja...id do the same thing. plus i have interwebs on my phone"

what is cost? $30?

so your saving $360 a year?

nice work you win

fool

El Padrino said...

i mean unless you dont want it, that's different

El Padrino said...

is it jewish heritage month on LOV

El Padrino said...

in honor of jew heritage month on LOV I will write my friday post in Hebrew and cutback on buying bacon, it will save me like $12 a year which is huge

Keef said...

"you'll die miserable"


Pretty sure I won't die miserable if I don't get internets

Keef said...

"the fuck you talking about anyway, it comes with cable"


Cable internets doesn't come with cable. It's something like $50/month.

tem said...

my intrawebs is like $40/mo.

so in NY it would be $400/mo

Keef said...

The $70k in debt guy is busting ballz about saving money

El Padrino said...

"my intrawebs is like $40/mo."

$29.95 here

Jugdish said...

what is cost? $30?

so your saving $360 a year?

nice work you win

fool


actually i do win, because I was the same mentality of saving in other areas, and it ends up equalling thousands, which goes into my savings account

Keef said...

Jug is sick

El Padrino said...

"Pretty sure I won't die miserable if I don't get internets"

unless you specify, they will not bury you with money from your savings account

El Padrino said...

"actually i do win, because I was the same mentality of saving in other areas, and it ends up equalling thousands, which goes into my savings account"

nice, mind fucking

Jugdish said...

"It appeared that they were doing some sort of narcotics, at least the one that they woke up."



hilarity

Jugdish said...

nice, mind fucking


::bait store::

Keef said...

"unless you specify, they will not bury you with money from your savings account"


I would rather use money from savings to do shit rather than put it on credit. wadr

Keef said...

RIP TP

El Padrino said...

"The $70k in debt guy is busting ballz about saving money"

no, just seems like, not having internet in 2009 just to save money is silly

cutback on buying houses or dont paint the walls, paint is mad expensive you

aja, like i'd rather cutback on something else is all i'm saying

to each his own

Keef said...

Russian official: Sanctions on Iran won't work

Russians are smat*

Jugdish said...

no, just seems like, not having internet in 2009 just to save money is silly


i think he has interwebs, he is just blocked on some things

El Padrino said...

"nice, mind fucking


::bait store::"

you are mind fucking, your mind, is fucking

like jedi shit, you've trained it

Keef said...

"no, just seems like, not having internet in 2009 just to save money is silly"


If I have a work computer that has internets, or can find a signal near my house, why would I pay for something that I don't need to pay for?

tem said...

just win the lottery and you can get intrawebs

ToddPacker said...

"RIP TP"

i do love ham radio

s

Keef said...

"cutback on buying houses or dont paint the walls, paint is mad expensive you"


So don't buy a house, just rent for the rest of my life. No thanks.

tem said...

"why would I pay for something that I don't need to pay for?"

twss?

El Padrino said...

buying a house is stressful
everyday there is some shit to do

Jugdish said...

buying a house is stressful
everyday there is some shit to do


troof, there are benefits also

Keef said...

"buying a house is stressful
everyday there is some shit to do"


That's your argument?

Keef said...

"there are benefits also"

Right. Like getting money for it when we want to move.

El Padrino said...

"That's your argument?"

no, i thought we were done

i was just saying to say, cuz my cuz just bought a house and is all frazzled about all the stuff she has to do and i'm like yea well what did you expect

Keef said...

I'm on the internets right now and I haven't paid a dime for it. I win. Apology accepted

Beth said...

"buying a house is stressful
everyday there is some shit to do"

Just get engaged to an attorney who has his own house already. Done and done.

tem said...

"So don't buy a house, just rent for the rest of my life. No thanks."

you'd lose too many deposits that way.

El Padrino said...

anyway i'm on target to buy a house in 2020 so i'm excited about that

Jugdish said...

you'd lose too many deposits that way.


chuckle

Keef said...

"you'd lose too many deposits that way."



^^^^

tem said...

"Just get engaged to an attorney who has his own house already. Done and done."

just wait til you are cleaning that sumbitch every other day and mowing grass on the weekend.

Jugdish said...

anyway i'm on target to buy a house 4SMURFS in 2020 so i'm excited about that


fixed

Beth said...

"you'd lose too many deposits that way."

Steve approves this message.

tem said...

"anyway i'm on target to buy a house in 2020 so i'm excited about that"

you mean a tent.

2020 is like 8 years into tent city.

Beth said...

"just wait til you are cleaning that sumbitch every other day and mowing grass on the weekend"

Beth doesn't do yardwork. That's the guy's job or you hire some local teen.

El Padrino said...

i have a tent now, i'm a homeowner!

Steve said...

"That's the guy's job"


so you handle the house cleaning?

tem said...

"Beth doesn't do yardwork."

you say that now.



"or you hire some local teen."

if you pay him with BJs it will be cheaper.

Beth said...

I'll be handling giving him sex when I feel like it.

tem said...

"i have a tent now, i'm a homeowner!"

yeah, but it is pitched?

Jugdish said...

Beth doesn't do yardwork. That's the guy's job or you hire some local teen.



freak wants yob mowing beth's lawn

tem said...

"I'll be handling giving him sex when I feel like it."


beth has it all figured out already.

fmbeth is figuratively fucked, but not literally.

blue said...

this is riveting stuff

blue said...

and apparently i'm retarded


tried to log in 5 times with no luck

Jugdish said...

this is riveting stuff


your face is riveting

blue said...

so basically if you read my NLDS preview...i was writing it in opposite land

blue said...

yesterday being a bank holiday means i can screw off all morning, no banking shit to do

Steve said...

"According to her Twitter, Jessica Simpson is apparently receiving a barrage of fake reports claiming her coyote-snatched Malti-poo Daisy is still alive"


cruel. but kinda funny too.

JFreak said...

"yesterday being a day means i can screw off all day, no shit to do"

/freak

Jugdish said...

good fix

JFreak said...

Now for my staff meeting.

Goodbye all.

Jugdish said...

he's watching saved by the bell

El Padrino said...

staff meeting

6 pack of socks, some donuts on the table, a laptop and freak

El Padrino said...

blue stripe sock you really need to start pickin it up, you are slacking!

Jugdish said...

freak: my toes are cold! why are my toes cold?!

Steve said...

why has Limbaugh spent the last couple of days trying to convince us that he's not a crazy wing-nut.

I hope he's planning on running for office.

Meiz said...

I almost fell out of the shower this morning

blue said...

limbaugh thinks he should be able to buy an NFL team and make it all white quarterbacks

Keef said...

"I'll be handling giving him sex when I feel like it."


booooooooooooooooo

Keef said...

"I almost fell out of the shower this morning"


mize is back

Jugdish said...

at least we know he is showering

El Padrino said...

An old man and his grandson are walking a donkey along the road when a car stops and the driver says, "hey old man, you should let your grandson ride on the mule". So the kid jumps on and they carry on.

Soon enough, another car stops and the occupant says, "hey kid, get off that donkey, you should let the old man ride". They swap places and continue on their way.
Again a car stops and the driver yells out, "why should one of you ride while the other walks? both of you get on the donkey." The kid jumps on and they wander on.
A fourth car stops and the driver yells in an agitated fashion, "it's not enough that the donkey has to work all day? You should be carrying him!".The two of them jump off, pick up the donkey and begin carrying him down the road.

Eventually they reach a bridge; the donkey becomes too cumbersome, they slip and the poor animal falls to its death beneath them. The moral of the story? If you're going to try and please everyone, you're going to lose your ass.

- Bob Knight

Beth said...

"booooooooooooooooo"

Calm down, that was (mostly) S. I'll be fulfilling my "wifely duties", mostly cause I enjoy it too but also cause I know how you guys can be when you don't get laid enough.

tem said...

"cause I know how you guys can be when you don't get laid enough."

exhibit A - tem

blue said...

when is there going to be a bgbeth?

Beth said...

"when is there going to be a bgbeth?"

Whenever there is an accident.

blue said...

well, make sure you're wearing your seatbelt

Keef said...

when is there going to be a wedding?


*fized

Beth said...

I don't know, it's kind of tough to have sex in the back seat wearing a seatbelt.

Beth said...

"when is there going to be a wedding?
*fized"

Might be the same answer. :-)

Keef said...

Wouldn't you want the wedding before the accident so you can get the life insurance?

Beth said...

Keef, maybe Steve needs to explain to you what I meant by "accident"...

El Padrino said...

usually girls want to get married

El Padrino said...

beth just wants to fuck

i respect that

tem said...

she just wants to spend fmbeth's money

Steve said...

"it's kind of tough to have sex in the back seat wearing a seatbelt."


could be kinda fun.

Beth said...

I keep telling fmbeth that I'm too good to be true but not sure he believes me.

Jugdish said...

"it's kind of tough to have sex in the back seat wearing a seatbelt."


ever try it with a helemt on?


/steve

Jugdish said...

helmet

Keef said...

"Keef, maybe Steve needs to explain to you what I meant by "accident"..."

ISWYDT

Keef said...

"I keep telling fmbeth that I'm too good to be true but not sure he believes me."


Sounds like he's smrt*

ns

Keef said...

Noone is too good to be true

Keef said...

Except cmk


*in case she reads this

El Padrino said...

how can she read it without interwebs?

Meiz said...

"usually girls want to get married"


I used to know this CRAZY bitch that wants to have kids before getting married. Craziest bitch on earth.

Keef said...

Goddman pirates

Keef said...

"how can she read it without interwebs?"

Get over it

Keef said...

"I used to know this CRAZY bitch that wants to have kids before getting married. Craziest bitch on earth."


csil

ToddPacker said...

"how can she read it without interwebs?"

funny

tem said...

i have intrawebs but can't read it.

El Padrino said...

"how can she read it without interwebs?"

Get over it"







apology accepted

Keef said...

How was the apple picking, you fruit

El Padrino said...

"i have intrawebs but can't read it."

r. kelly sympathizes

Keef said...

did you get fake drnuk* on the golf course

tem said...

i didn't golf this weekend.

haven't golfed in awhile

El Padrino said...

"How was the apple picking, you fruit"

didnt go, bgep very sick

Keef said...

not you

Keef said...

not you was for tem

El Padrino said...

"did you get fake drnuk* on the golf course"

not drunk enough, i drove home then drove to a party then drnak more and drove home
(brooklyn to staten island to brooklyn to new jersey back to brooklyn) woe

gonna get a dui one day i just know it

*knocking on wood*

Meiz said...

"gonna get a dui one day i just know it"


Move to WI. Shit's not even a felony here.

Keef said...

"Move to WI. Shit's not even a felony here."

And they encourage racism. Win/win for LP

El Padrino said...

Golf: Flask of Johnny Walker Green, 4 beers

Party: 6 Beers, two sifters of Johnny Walker Blue, glass of champange (toast, new house)

Keef said...

I remember when I was 19 and I counted all the drinks I had when I would go out

Steve said...

if you can remember how much you drank then you did no drink enough.

Isiah Thompson said...

is it jewish heritage month on LOV

hilarity

kodiac said...

Move to WI. Shit's not even a felony here.

used to not even be criminal in WI (until very recently I've heard); it was handled administratively

Isiah Thompson said...

blue stripe sock you really need to start pickin it up, you are slacking!

double hilarity

Isiah Thompson said...

how can she read it without interwebs?

emanskylarity

Isiah Thompson said...

that was a good game last night (mnf)

El Padrino said...

"I remember when I was 19 and I counted all the drinks I had when I would go out"

you asked as

El Padrino said...

further more i am a professional drinker, it takes a whole lot for me to get drunk nowadays

sad but true

just like weed, when i smoked it i need more and more to get high

Keef said...

"you asked as"

I asked if you got drunk. I didn't ask for a recap of all of your drinks

Isiah Thompson said...

Matt* Sanchez needs to stop overthrowing negroes.

Keef said...

A sifter of JW Blue probably costs more than a month of internets

El Padrino said...

he was wildly inaccurate, has been through the first 4 games, his wr's are making plays

braylon was excellent last night

El Padrino said...

"A sifter of JW Blue probably costs more than a month of internets"

shit taste like god made it himself

fucking delicious

Isiah Thompson said...

sifter

::hot sauce::

snifter?

Keef said...

"shit taste like god made it himself"


That's how I say it in real life


/LP

Isiah Thompson said...

is a sifter another name for "sippy cup"?

Keef said...

ha

Isiah Thompson said...

EP were you macking on that chick in the company golf pick?

El Padrino said...

sifter

::hot sauce::

snifter?

yes

El Padrino said...

"That's how I say it in real life"

sadly, it is how i say that

El Padrino said...

"EP were you macking on that chick in the company golf pick?"

which chick?

El Padrino said...

ahem, shot a 95

in you face meiz

Keef said...

"shot a 95"


horseshit

Meiz said...

"horseshit"


^^^EXACTLY^^^

El Padrino said...

wft, swear to god

why is that so unbelievable
and why would i lie

Isiah Thompson said...

which chick?

from the pic

Keef said...

"why would i lie"


to "prove" mize wrong

Isiah Thompson said...

YOU LIE!


s

Keef said...

what pic is zeke talking about

El Padrino said...

it was a easy course

i'm redonk on par 3's, easily paring* them

and there were 3 of them and I birdied a 4 hole

i'm sick with my 5 iron and pretty much just hit that after tee shots

El Padrino said...

"to "prove" mize wrong"

really, am I that needy?

Keef said...

So LP likes short holes. Shocking

Keef said...

"really, am I that needy?"

I'm glad you said it

El Padrino said...

i didnt

El Padrino said...

zeke i dont know what pic you are talking about and did you go mini golfing with monsters?

Keef said...

Did you get punched in the kidney's* out on the course?

El Padrino said...

negative

blue said...

so it was a par 3 course...got it

Keef said...

""i'm good with straight up"

TNWKS"



Falcons are at home and 3 point favorites, which means they are equal to the Bears.

Keef said...

"so it was a par 3 course...got it"

Ah, makes sense now. 95 = double bogey golf

Steve said...

how often do you golf ep?

Keef said...

"so it was a par 3 course...got it"

Ah, makes sense now. 95 = double bogey golf

Keef said...

echo

blue said...

falcons >> bears

blue said...

in real life as well

Isiah Thompson said...

zeke i dont know what pic you are talking about and did you go mini golfing with monsters?

jug posted a pic yesterday that was two little peoples golfing.

yeah we went mini golfing on saturday and we totally spaced on the "spooky" course and just did the regular. it was aight though.

blue said...

i like trying to decide whether the chicks on GHM are american or not.

most get a "not"

El Padrino said...

where i dominated

Keef said...

nerve* been to GHM yet

ns

El Padrino said...

"how often do you golf ep?"

1, 2 times a year, 3 if a credit card clears up

blue said...

"South Shore Golf Club is not overly long (6,300 yards from the tips), but this course features the most varied assortment of golf holes as you'll find anywhere. You start with one of the toughest opening holes anywhere before you know it your on the drivable (270 yards) Par 4 4 th hole"


so a super short course...got it

Keef said...

"3 if a credit card clears up"



well played

Keef said...

before you know it your on the drivable (270 yards) Par 4 4 th hole


must be a NY thing

El Padrino said...

"so a super short course...got it"

yeah i said it wasnt hard there is only two holes longer than 478

a 515 and a 538

everything else mid fours, high 3's and a couple of 147's

Keef said...

"before you know it your on the drivable (270 yards) Par 4 4 th hole"

That course would be about a par 61 here

ns

Keef said...

blockt

Keef said...

bold

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 586   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino