Tuesday, September 01, 2009

I hate when

I forget that it is Tuesday. I mean come on, how hard is it to remember what day it is? Well for me it is pretty difficult. I am dumb.

Anyway, let's go.


License Plate

I need to start writing these down. I see a couple good ones a week, but on Tuesday I forget them. I am going to buy a pad of paper and a pen for the car to write this shit down on.

temthought

It seems to be a well known fact that gay guys and straight girls get along like peanut butter and jelly. They just have a blast together. Why the heck doesn't it work the other way? Why aren't lesbians and straight guys best buds? It just doesn't work that way. You'll never see me hanging out at BW2s watching football with some lesbian and talking about the newest line of Wolverine Steel Toed Boots. And not because I'd be against it, but because the lesbian would. What gives lesbians? Why can't you hang out with dudes? Gay men and straight women are making us look bad.

temrant

I've said this one before, I think, but I will say it again. If you are going 63mph in a 65mph zone and you come up on a cop radaring people you do not need to slam on your brakes and get down to 55mph. Fucking old shitty drivers make me crazy. First they are in the passing lane while I am trying to get to work. They are probably just putzing around, still lost from their Sunday drive and they are holding me up. Late to work, late to post, forgot it was Tuesday all because of some old shithead.

sports talk

Dodgers get Thome and Garland. Not sure what the Dbags and Sox got out of the deal, but I don't see Thome helping the Dodgers much. He is old and can't play the field.

Michigan players are little girls. They cry too much, but Rich Rod is in some hot water. It is bad when players go to the media to complain. He must be a grade A asshole. I mean, other coaches definitely break the same rules, but their players do not complain. Good lord.

EA was on Oprah or will be. She said getting taped nude was a "nightmare." Funny, nightmare for her, dream come true for millions of men (and some women).

Seems like the Rockies, Giants and Dodgers are adding every available player.

tem movie review

And now for the only part people care to read. Except maybe the temthought and temrant. Well I guess that is the bulk of the "article."

Anywho....

Sherlock Holmes

This is a solid flick. Anytime the subject matter is this interesting the movie has to be good. It doesn't matter that it was directed by nobody at all or that the actors didn't even get a script, they didn't need it. The movie was about Sherlock Holmes. No scripts or director needed here, everyone knows the story of Sherlock Holmes.

As we all know and really I feel silly writing this out because it is common knowledge, Sherlock Holmes is John Holmes' little brother. And we all know that little has a double meaning there. Poor Sherlock got the short end of the stick. You'd call him the runt of the litter, but he wasn't John's twin and wasn't from the same litter, so you can't call him that....if you did you would be wrong. In any case Sherlock's life is full of many interesting stories and it is interesting to see which ones the actors chose to act out. Also I should note that the camera men must have been new because sometimes they are just filming the wall, but you can hear the actors.

Again, anyway, the bulk of the movie is about that famous attempt at enlargement. Sherlock needed to get bigger so that he could make the football team. We all know how that turned out, poor Sherlock ended up making the team and never playing a down. Kind of anti-climactic, which by the by is how Sherlock's wife describes their bedroom life.

So, if you are looking to watch one historical documentary about a guy I just made up I recommend this one.

3 helmet sticker out of 5.

392 comments:

1 – 200 of 392   Newer›   Newest»
blue said...

fuck it

tem said...

fight it

tem said...

it's all the same

blue said...

tem was late today because he was up late watching the CMA rock out with your cock out party

tem said...

the only way to do something is something like the only way to stay sane.

tem said...

tem had not heard of such a party and despite its odd name, if it is a CMA party then i would probably watch.

El Padrino said...

jersey city had a huge water main break so there is no coffee avaialble

you have to see the pandemonium

El Padrino said...

people are going bonkers

Beth said...

"tem was late today because he was up late watching the CMA rock out with your cock out party"

I guess that means I couldn't go to that party then, or if I did I guess I couldn't fully rock.

blue said...

"I guess that means I couldn't go to that party then, or if I did I guess I couldn't fully rock."

cue zeke's: why wouldn't you hang your cock out too beth?

ToddPacker said...

tem does not know sublime lyrics

El Padrino said...

man, see ya Cali, nice knowing ya

jesus

blue said...

"tem had not heard of such a party and despite its odd name, if it is a CMA party then i would probably watch."

it was on ABC last night for like 7 hours

blue said...

maybe that's where jug was yesterday

El Padrino said...

CMA?

El Padrino said...

nevermind

blue said...

from watching what i watched.

darius rucker sounds exactly like hootie and the blowfish

taylor swift is not hot

kelly pickler is still hot

Beth said...

Not sure if this is bethdrino or not, but for the real Sherlock Holmes upcoming movie you're not that far off tem about there being a storyline about 2 penises.

Gee, thanks Guy Ritchie.

tem said...

"tem does not know sublime lyrics"

i knew some of them.

tem said...

"darius rucker sounds exactly like hootie and the blowfish"

yeah, he is hootie.

"taylor swift is not hot"

if you factor in her wealth she is.

"kelly pickler is still hot"

she gets hotter as time goes on.

tem said...

"it was on ABC last night for like 7 hours"

damn, i had no clue. i would have DVRed it and watched the performances.

Steve said...

Pickler


Hot!

Steve said...

i'd have to find a way to get her not to talk though.

what to do, what to do.

blue said...

"i'd have to find a way to get her not to talk though."

so steve hates women who sound like they're from NC...got it.

must make it tough to date considering where you live

blue said...

pickler's hotness increased dramatically when she got implants


she was hot before, but now super hot.

and she didn't go too big...very classy

El Padrino said...

pickler is ugly though
like her face, tight body

Steve said...

"so steve hates women who sound like they're from NC"

she's from deep south NC, that Burgaw, Mountain folk kinda twain.

makes my skin crawl.

El Padrino said...

good bye Cabo San Lucas, you were a magnificent son of a bitch

blue said...

i don't think she's ugly

definitely not taylor swift ugly

Beth said...

Yeah, not that anyone here really cares but Pickler is dumber than dirt. If you've never seen it just go to youtube and enter her name and 5th Grader and you'll get a video from when she was on that show.

It's actually quite funny, once I got past the dumb blonde stereotype damage. :-)

El Padrino said...

"We had 102 cash for clunkers," Carm Scarpace of Westfield Ford said. "We've been paid for one."

that blows

tem said...

she is hot.

and rich now.

and her fake boobs are fantastic.

El Padrino said...

Dumb is a quality we like in woman beth.

tem said...

did dealers expect to get their cash from clunkers from the government in 3 weeks??

the government is slow on everything, they generally can't even get you your tax refund before 4 weeks and they go through that process millions of times each year.

blue said...

she is dumb...she was very dumb on american idol


and then really dumb after idol when she did jaywalking stuff for leno

Steve said...

"Pickler is dumber than dirt"

i'm not sure how this is relevant, stay on topic please.

tem said...

tem does not like dumb women, but he wouldn't let that stop him from motorboating her boobs.

Beth said...

"Dumb is a quality we like in woman beth"

Yet you still like me. :-)

El Padrino said...

interesting, the blacks in atlanta dont want a white mayor

blue said...

don't worry beth, i'd still motorboat you

Beth said...

RE: Atlanta mayors

Yeah, that's been huge news here for a little while.

tem said...

black people hate white people?

Beth said...

Speaking of motorboating, a friend of mine just sent me this link about a British lady on a rollercoaster who's boobs kept trying to get free.

I guess it's semi-NSFW but you really mostly see cleavage.

blue said...

that was nice

blue said...

bank mistook a $ sign for 5 on a wire transfer and wired a guy 52k instead of 2K


CFO is pissed

El Padrino said...

yikes

tem said...

that is why you write the dollar amounts out in words.

El Padrino said...

nerve seen a fed fund wire written in words around these parts

El Padrino said...

PEOPLE IT'S JUST COFFEE

RELAX

blue said...

"that is why you write the dollar amounts out in words."


that's why you let your controller process the wire online instead of "doing it the old fashioned way"

who the fuck faxes anyway

blue said...

me: why did you pay Dave $52K?

CFO: ::hot sauce stare::

Aitch said...

Found out this morning that exfemH is pregnant.

Big ouch.

Steve said...

"me: why did you pay Dave $52K?"


you should have gotten Dave to the side, doctored the books and split the money.

you could have a new pool...but without the second job.

El Padrino said...

from you

blue said...

aitch is gonna be a daddy?

El Padrino said...

just remember it's her choice H not yours

Meiz said...

"the only way to do something is something like the only way to stay sane."


Livin' with Louie Dog's the only way to stay sane.

Aitch said...

No not from me.

ToddPacker said...

"Livin' with Louie Dog's the only way to stay sane."

meiz knows

Keith S said...

"If you are going 63mph in a 65mph zone and you come up on a cop radaring people you do not need to slam on your brakes and get down to 55mph."


^THAT^

El Padrino said...

even if your going 85 you dont have to stop because chances are he's already radared your ass

Beth said...

Fmbeth just emailed me that some guy in his office is in a fantasy football league where the guy with the 1st pick overall chose Matt Ryan. Apparently that guy is getting teased mercilessly.

Hell, even I know that's a dumbass pick and I'm clueless about fantasy football.

El Padrino said...

wow

that is ratard-like

blue said...

"even if your going 85 you dont have to stop because chances are he's already radared your ass"

not true...if you slow your ass down and show some respect, sometimes the cops let it go.

If you just blow by them clueless, they won't let that go.

blue said...

matt ryan is the future

El Padrino said...

respect
cops

doesnt work in the same comment

blue said...

by the way, i need a QB in the keeper league, all offers will be considered...nobody is off limits.

blue said...

maybe this explains EP's 14 speeding tickets

tem said...

"No not from me."

you sure?

tem said...

maybe she saved some of your goo for a rainy day.

Meiz said...

"respect
cops

doesnt work in the same comment"



moron

El Padrino said...

fuck you

El Padrino said...

i have flacco blue, not sure if that excites you or not

El Padrino said...

childress is a damn fool for running the wildcat with bert as the lead blocker

El Padrino said...

i can't stand brad childress

just bothers me

Aitch said...

Positive tem.

Worst part is the guy treats her like shit, they've only been to together a total of like 3 months and have already broken up twice

El Padrino said...

pick up medicine woman blue

blue said...

flacco would be ok, depends on what you'd want for him

Quinn probably better than castles

tem said...

"Worst part is the guy treats her like shit"

chicks dig this. well known fact.

tem said...

i have a qb in that league.

tem said...

i have kyle orton. he is great.

blue said...

kyle orton is out with an upper body extremity injury

El Padrino said...

yeah patriots talk

GAY

blue said...

especially gay when you see his fucking bloody finger on TV...you're not fooling anyone.

just say his finger is hurt

blue said...

i have a new gimmick for when i take over wednesdays

El Padrino said...

i had a vivid dream that nicholas cage was banging an old ex girlfriend of mine, dream made nosense but it was awesome

Meiz said...

New Guy-


T-T-T-T-T-temgagement

isiah thompson said...

Michigan players are little girls. They cry too much, but Rich Rod is in some hot water. It is bad when players go to the media to complain. He must be a grade A asshole. I mean, other coaches definitely break the same rules, but their players do not complain. Good lord.


he's not in hot water, there is nothing to hide and he's done nothing wrong.

some d-bag reporter (a UM grad no less), went around on media day axing freshman how the workouts compared to hike school. he took their quotes and twisted them, then went to disgruntled former players to further grind his axe. one of his main sources is ex WR Toney Clemons who transferred to Colorado bc he's bitter he couldnt' hack it under rich rod.

the players Carr left are huge, gaping vajeens, luckily they are being weeded out. Of the 120 on the roster, something like 85 are frosh or sophmores.

blue said...

i had a dream that the decepticons were chasing me and trying to kill me because in the future, i grow up to be the leader of the revolution that wins the war against the robots.

merging transformers and terminator makes for a good movie/dream

blue said...

i hope this clemons guy is good

Aitch said...

Small plane had to make an emergency landing on the highway. Traffic is a mess.

Meiz said...

"Small plane had to make an emergency landing on the highway. Traffic is a mess."


::Looking for the perfect NY joke::

El Padrino said...

Swat?

isiah thompson said...

if anyone is getting subway scrabble things and not using them send them my way.

thanks and regards

El Padrino said...

saw rich rod crying

i'm sold

isiah thompson said...

I will make sure to not split the prizes with you.

isiah thompson said...

also, some condo developer is suing rich rod for 3$M, it should hit the media here shortly.

Aitch said...

Thankfully no injuries

isiah thompson said...

and WVU checked on their compliance during rich rod's tenyear* and found nothing wrong.

El Padrino said...

open dislocation and the hits keep on coming

isiah thompson said...

but also a sixth-round pick from Fresno State named Tom Brandstater.



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

didn't the bronco's trade their 1st for next season?

the 1st overal pick?

HAHAHAHAHAH

Meiz said...

Holy shit. One of the most attractive females I've ever seen in my life was just all up in here.

I'm shook.

Meiz said...

She's so hot its funny.

blue said...

yep, they didn't want to pay a high draft pick

El Padrino said...

in you face timberwolves

says ricky rubio

blue said...

The story that brandon stokely told about the dislocated finger was hilarity.

He made some comment about orton screaming like a girl as they had to pull it out and pop it back in.

blue said...

Brandstater looked good...i'm pumped for cincy now

El Padrino said...

Schaub is such a pussy, if i were a journeyman QB in the NFL I'd always want to sign with Houston cuz I know for sho i'd play some games

blue said...

Simms ankle sprain might not be so bad now

El Padrino said...

Norman Chad has a SI column

strange

El Padrino said...

And it's not about poker

stranger

isiah thompson said...

Last night the d-bags traded John Garland to the Dodgers during the game.

hilarity

do you just walk from one dugout to the other in mid-innning?

isiah thompson said...

innning is suite

El Padrino said...

T the dodgers are just throwing shit to the walls to see what sticks at this point

is that an accurate assesment?

El Padrino said...

jimthome2motherfuckingmiljusttopinchhit?

blue said...

they got thome for the world series when they can have a DH for 4 games

blue said...

jose can you see contreras...gonna push the rockies over the top.


i'd have rather had Penny, but the sox are picking up the majority of $$ left on contreras deal this season.

blue said...

hopefully rockies play the mess better than they did at Shea

El Padrino said...

got a feeling they will

El Padrino said...

just a hunch

blue said...

i don't know, they haven't been hitting for shit lately

blue said...

but Mess/d-bags/reds...makes things a little brighter over the next 10 days

El Padrino said...

wright does come back

Meiz said...

Lets see if I can deluxe's old man riled up.

isiah thompson said...

Lets see if I can deluxe's old man riled up.


you want to upset him or make him get a boner?

blue said...

meiz is sending him nudie pics

Meiz said...

Make upset

Meiz said...

Maybe I won't. He might force me to, though.

Meiz said...

This place is lively

Meiz said...

Call Of Doody 4, 30 bucks on amazon today

El Padrino said...

i could go for a chocolate egg cream right now

Meiz said...

I hate the people that come in here and say "What's the quickest way I can send this? I want to do that." and then they wind up sending it the cheapest way possible.

Meiz said...

"i could go for a chocolate egg cream right now"



This makes no sense.


I had a Cadbury creme egg yesterday. And a Reese's Pumpkin.

Meiz said...

I love me some cherry cordials, too.

El Padrino said...

"i could go for a chocolate egg cream right now"



This makes no sense."

it's a soda drink

El Padrino said...

I had a Cadbury creme egg yesterday. And a Deluxe Blumpkin.

fized*

Meiz said...

I'm going to see Bruuuuuuuce when he comes to the Bradley Dome this Oct/Nov.

Meiz said...

"I had a Cadbury creme egg yesterday. And a Deluxe Blumpkin.

fized*"


I hope Al-Qaeda smashes a 747 into your office

Meiz said...

Your mother gives great rusty trombones

Meiz said...

I'm running with it

Meiz said...

A-RODG!

El Padrino said...

forget how FEWTILE* the bears qb situation always was, til now

isiah thompson said...

wft happened to commercials on the radio?

one commercial here is for a break company and they play this fucking high pitched metal on metal noise.

theres another one with people scraming and shit.

wft

El Padrino said...

"I hope Al-Qaeda smashes a 747 into your office"

you'll pay for this

isiah thompson said...

Bruce Springstein* is the* gay.

El Padrino said...

are they scraming loud?

blue said...

it's preseason

blue said...

college football starts this thurdsay....Boise State/ Oregon...beleeb dat

Meiz said...

"you'll pay for this"


I prepaid, beyotch

isiah thompson said...

I ♥ CFB Thursday's.

isiah thompson said...

and it's a 7:15PM PDT start!

IN YOU FACE! East Coast!

blue said...

people in boise are already saying it's the "game of the season"...if they lose the season will suck


hilarity..i get it, but expecting a BCS bowl every year is kind of high expectations

El Padrino said...

blue turf, HD

100% Glory

El Padrino said...

VaTech/BAMA game going to be HDH too

El Padrino said...

"ex-wife Kim told a Detroit radio station, “If you’re going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work.”

OUCH

blue said...

i see a new song

El Padrino said...

i see a new wall

Meiz said...

I'll fly a jet through your goddman wall

El Padrino said...

easy there

Steve said...

I just had a huge craving for a cigarette, out of nowhere.

It's been almost 6 months.

El Padrino said...

wwf ad is awful, fuck you guys, deke did you write this ad?

El Padrino said...

"Smoke Reaches Denver... "

can you feel that blue

El Padrino said...

link

"Obama to make unprecedented address to all public school students; September 8..."

nazi talk

isiah thompson said...

wwf ad is awful, fuck you guys, deke did you write this ad?

jesus fucking christ, wft is wrong with people?

El Padrino said...

thomas jones likes to party

Meiz said...

"wwf ad is awful, fuck you guys, deke did you write this ad?"


No, but I bookmarked it

Steve said...

Sharon Stone Bikini

She's not hitting the long ball anymore, but for a 51 year old woman, pretty damn good.

Steve said...

Meiz has just found himself a new poster.

Meiz said...

Tyler's still alive

isiah thompson said...

The contract signed Sunday by Bengals tackle Andre Smith already was regarded in league circles as a bad one for the player, and a good one for the team.

A league source has shared with us a detail that makes it an even better deal for the Bengals.

Per the source, the contract contains a provision that slashes in half Smith's pay for each game in which he weighs in at 350 pounds or higher -- and in which he is not on the active 45-man roster. (So, basically, if he weighs 350 or more and plays, he gets the money.)

It's technically a de-escalator of his base salary, a device that is permissible as long as Smith's salary exceeds the league minimum for his specific level of experience. But it's a dramatic and (as far as we can tell) unprecedented move to compel a player to maintain a certain weight.

Meiz said...

"But it's a dramatic and (as far as we can tell) unprecedented move to compel a player to maintain a certain weight."


I thought this was a fairly common practice.

Meiz said...

Is this thing on?

El Padrino said...

check check

El Padrino said...

and i mean nic cage was plowing my ex like it was vivid and he had a condom on and he busted a nut and she ripped the condom off and sucked him dry

it was awesome, i want to fall asleep early tonight in case there is a rendevouz

El Padrino said...

it was like sitting on the sofa while a live porn shoot was going on

El Padrino said...

sssuido!

El Padrino said...

al davis should probably hire a gm

El Padrino said...

let's shoot for 2012 for the LOV -PICNIC, we all should be established by then

isiah thompson said...

did you get some stray #3 on you?

El Padrino said...

no, it was like i wasnt there

like patrick swayze in ghost

blue said...

""Smoke Reaches Denver... "

can you feel that blue"


it's hazy here, has been for 2 days now

blue said...

"wwf ad is awful, fuck you guys, deke did you write this ad?"

the tagline behind this story is hilarious...

it's like, if you donate to the world wildlife fund, we'll prevent tsunamis and hurricanes and earthquakes...how the fuck are you going to do that?

El Padrino said...

yeah makes no sense

blue said...

and if the earth is so powerful, why would we want to preserve it, so it can have more tsunamis?

that's it, fuck Al Gore and the interwebs and the earth..

i'm starting an anti-earth group

El Padrino said...

Osi is really apologizing now – “It was very miniscule. When I think about it I can’t believe I reacted that way. It’s so uncharacteristic of me. But I just did it. This was my one big mistake. And I’m not going to repeat that mistake ever again.” When asked about how much he was fined for leaving practice – “it would feed a lot of Africans”

El Padrino said...

BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

blue said...

fuck lady.

i was trying to get out of here early but new chick fucked some shit up, so now i gotta sit here and wait for her to fix it.

blue said...

might have to fire her now (s)

blue said...

did jug die?

El Padrino said...

jug died boob toobing

El Padrino said...

called water aids

blue said...

that's what he gets for drinkin piss river water

El Padrino said...

mozzerella ice cream with sausage bits


MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Meiz said...

Bored

Meiz said...

Dude, that's fucking disgusting

Meiz said...

85% Jug dropped the camera in the river

El Padrino said...

you'd eat it fatso

Meiz said...

85% chance*

Meiz said...

"you'd eat it fatso"


I'm voting NO on that one

El Padrino said...

block

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Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino