Monday, September 14, 2009

Goddman it

What a terrible weekend. I'm gonna go all fucking woe on all of you for a scroll or two. I don't woe often, so deal with it...

Fucking cmk. Weekend starts with me and cmk spending like 6-7 hours painting in the new house. We just got a gallon of paint, but I was putting up the painters tape and painting the edges whilst cmk was rolling the walls. We finished the kitchen and the living room, then we take a break about 6:00 so we can go eat dinner. We get back about 7:30 and I drop her off so I can go over to Home Depot and buy a 5 gallon bucket of the paint so we can put the 2nd coat on those 2 rooms and then start in the front room. I want to get the entire downstairs painted before we put the new flooring down so we don't have to worry about spilling shit on the floor. I get to HD and call cmk just to verify the color that I'm getting (Behr brand, color is Kenya, like a tan with gold in it). She drops an "I don't like the color" on me as I'm ordering the paint to be mixed. I'm standing there with a ::blank slate:: and finally tell the HD lackey that I don't need the paint. I go back to the house and give her look like, are you serious? She says "I know, we wasted $30 on that gallon of paint". I tolt her IDGAF about the $30 but wasting an entire day sucked as. So I tolt her she can just paint the house this week.

Fucking Ohio State. They'll never win a big game if they can't put a team away. Just like against Texas in the Fiesta Bowl last year, they give up a game winning drive that goes the length of the field. When you have a team with a frosh QB, 2rd & 19 at their own 5 yard line, you have to win that battle. Mark* Barkley is gonna be special, though. Huge stones to go into that kind of environment in your 2nd career game and drive your guys down the field like that. Fuck USC, though. And fuck the tOSU play-calling. I think zeke mentioned it, or maybe tem, but they need to get Pryor outside the pocket more. I'm not sure if it was USC doing a good job of keeping him in the pocket, or bad play-calling, but Pryor should not be standing in the pocket looking downfield for receivers. He's a terrible passer. He looks like he'd be great at throwing a shotput, though. LP, your* welcome for not having to pay up. Weasel (s)

Fucking Bengals. That's why the Bengals are the Bengals. They lose games like that shit that happened on Sunday. Leon Hall (fucking Michigan) tips the pass and 3 Bengals dive towards the WR like he's got the ball, and they leave Stokley alone to catch it and just have to outrun a LB towards the goal line, then run the length of the goal line before he goes in for the winning score. That was such a terrible game to watch for the first 56 minutes, too. The last few minutes finally had some action, then that fluke fucking play happens.

Fucking fantasy baseball. I lose in the semifinals 5-4-1. Fucking Pedro's win against the Mess made me lose the wins category, or else we would have had a tie and I would have won the tiebreaker. So now I'm playing in the 3rd place game.

Fucking csil. Every time we go out it has to turn into the "csil show". We're at the bar watching games and she's playing FFB for the first time and she's got Purple Jesus. Every time he touches the ball she has to scream at the top of her lungs. Then when she talks about something she has to mention it 4 or 5 times so that everyone that is within a 10 foot radius can hear her story. Then we go over to my buddy's house (her bf) for the Bears game and she gets pissed at me because I pushed her dog away because it was licking me non-stop and getting in my face begging for food. So I pushed her away and csil says "don't push my dog". So I say "maybe if your dog heard the word no every once in a while I wouldn't need to push her away". So she calls her dog over and feeds it some pizza. ns

It was almost fucking fantasy football. I was playing against a dude that wasn't at our draft so I drafted his team for him by just picking the best available person for each of his picks. He was ahead by 42 pts going into the Bears/Pack game and I had Rodgers/Jennings. Thanks to their final TD and 2-pt conversion I won by 1.5 pts. So while there was some woe for the weekend, I can't woe too much. My $FFB team won, I'm healthy, I've got a new house, I've got a new job, and I'm not steve.

mize

Softball temchallenge update... 0-3 on the night. I blame it on the midnight EST start time. 8 for 13 with 3BB and a sac fly on the season.

602 comments:

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Beth said...

Woe.

Beth said...

Just so you know Keith, my teams did alright this weekend. :-)

Beth said...

"and I'm not steve"

But then again, you are still keith...

ToddPacker said...

you should have kicked csil's dog

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

"But then again, you are still keith..."

Being an as. >>>>> being a ratard

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

"you should have kicked csil's dog"

Seriously. I hate poorly trained dogs. Completely the owners fault tho.

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

Mess still suck

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

Anyone have any good stories from the weekend? Mine was boring.

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

Natty

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

Do I have a run in me?

ToddPacker said...

"Mess still suck"

thanks for the update

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

No I dont

ToddPacker said...

"Anyone have any good stories from the weekend? "

i knocked out a homeless guy and cmtp got very angry about it

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

Just in case you forgot old man. Figured the Alzheimer's has to be setting in

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

"i knocked out a homeless guy and cmtp got very angry about it"

Ns? Details!

Beth said...

"Being an as. >>>>> being a ratard"

Being neither >>>>>>>>>> being an as. or a ratard.

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

"Being neither >>>>>>>>>> being an as. or a ratard."

I can't argue with that

ToddPacker said...

"Ns? Details!"

come gametime we usually have 2-6 people stay at our tailgate to watch the game (they like to stay and watch it on tv and continue to drink). well this weekend the weather was crappy (lots of rain) and the game sucked (12:20 start agaist troy)... well only one dude stayed to watch the game and our stuff... he got a call from his girlfriend about some family emergency. so he had to leave. he sent me a text saying he is leaving and is going to cover our stuf with a tarp. florida is winning big so i leave the game right after the text. get to our tailgate spot and some homeless dude has a bunch of our stuff packed on his bike. i was in no mood to put up with his crap so i start yelling at him. he yelled back and i threw a punch. old homeless guy goes down like a sack of 'taters. i threw his bike into the parking lot and told him i was going to get a cop. he left and cmtp got pissed off at me.

Beth said...

Ok, now that's a good story. Nothing like old men and homeless guys duking it out.

ToddPacker said...

side note to the story... i spent the night on the couch

ToddPacker said...

congrats to richrod... big win

ToddPacker said...

usc/osu game was solid. that barkley guy looks like the real deal

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

"side note to the story... i spent the night on the couch"

But did you save your stuff? If so it was worth it.

ToddPacker said...

ok state lost to houston? gotta make you wonder about UGA... they were close to going 0-2

ToddPacker said...

"But did you save your stuff? If so it was worth it."

stuff was saved... it was mostly food and beer. thing is nobody wanted to eat any of the food the homeless guy touched

Beth said...

"gotta make you wonder about UGA"

Oh yeah, UGA is clearly not that good this year. They only beat SC cause of 2 hands - one that blocked an extra point and one that blocked SC's 4th down almost TD pass.

The UF game could be really ugly for UGA, not to mention the possibility (likelihood) of losing to UF and Tech in the same year.

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

Oh it was food? That's a little different. I thought he was stealing your Webber Grill or something.

tem said...

i could tell a woe story for the weekend, but it is weak woe.

tem said...

TP good job with the homeless guy. Stealing is bad.

tem said...

" So I tolt her she can just paint the house this week. "


sounds similar to "the rings on the bookcase if you want it."

tem said...

" I think zeke mentioned it, or maybe tem, but they need to get Pryor outside the pocket more. "

probably zeke, but i agree.

tem said...

"So I pushed her away and csil says "don't push my dog". "

next time kick it, it'll learn its lesson and she never said "don't kick my dog."

tem said...

"2rd & 19 "


i hate 2rd down.

tem said...

"I tolt her IDGAF about the $30 but wasting an entire day sucked as."

you didn't waste it. you got to spend quality time with cmk and learnt that she doesn't like the paint.

tem said...

"he left and cmtp got pissed off at me."

she left the game with you? some fan she is.

tem said...

i'm not even trying for a run.

tem said...

"Being neither >>>>>>>>>> being an as. or a ratard."


i'm not sure. chicks dig as.s.

Beth said...

"you didn't waste it. you got to spend quality time with cmk and learnt that she doesn't like the paint"

I bet if you had that "glass is half full" attitude with exfmtem we'd never know what a temgagement is.

Beth said...

Insecure chicks dig guys who are an as.

*fixed

tem said...

met this one girl, she is friends with my roommate, and her new boyfriend was a huge as.

like one of those as.s from a movie about 80s business men. it was almost comical.

he first talked about how awesome his lobbyist job is, then how he wrecked his new volvo S80 because he was drunk driving and how that was the chicks fault. then how he wrecked it again because he was driving drunk again.

tem said...

then he talked about how dumb her dog was and big of a piece of shit the dog is.

tem said...

chick dug the whole thing.

tem said...

All chicks are insecure. Insecure chicks dig guys who are an as.

*fixed

tem said...

it started off with her telling me that she didn't want to be his girlfriend, but he insisted so it was OK.

tem said...

it was like 15 minutes of :blank stare: from tem.

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

BTW, punk move by Kanye last night.

tem said...

and she was a close talker which freaked me out.

tem said...

"BTW, punk move by Kanye last night"

what happened? i assume this was at the VMAs?

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

Yea at the VMAs. Taylor Swift ,who is 19, won the award for Best Female video. As she is giving her speech, clearly surprised and emotional, Kanye jumps onstage, takes the mic and says that Beyonce had "the best video ever" implying she was robbed.

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

Beyonce was mortified when they showed her in the crowd. Later on, when Beyonce won video of the year, she called Swift back out to finish he speech. Classy move by her. Punkass move by Kanye

tem said...

i always liked beyonce.

tem said...

well not when i had never heard of her.

but since i have heard of her i have liked her.

tem said...

and no i didn't just hear of her now.

tem said...

"side note to the story... i spent the night on the couch"

don't you usually?

El Padrino said...

kanye is a racist

El Padrino said...

i thought that was obvious

El Padrino said...

i never boycotted a rapper before or anybody really but might have to do that to kanye

just wish his rhymes werent so tight, makes it hard, dude is a genous musically

El Padrino said...

bush dont like black people

remember that?

El Padrino said...

keef what's my name and shit?

didnt i give you the spread?

El Padrino said...

nice work TP, bumfights vol. 3

El Padrino said...

tell cmtp people in africa would kill for that food

Jugdish said...

Ok, now that's a good story. Nothing like old men and homeless guys duking it out.


fixed

tem said...

"keef what's my name and shit?

didnt i give you the spread?"

he isn't making you pay up.

El Padrino said...

oh, so zeke, spiff make with the name and pic

your team is not so good, sure you know that, giants should have won by 40, that garbage td stings the nostrils a bit

El Padrino said...

tan with a touch of gold

I wouldnt like that shit either. Weirdo.

El Padrino said...

the fuck are you, goldmember from austin powers

do you enjoy a schmoke and a pancake?

Jugdish said...

tan with a touch of gold


its AZ...everything is brown

El Padrino said...

Kenya

should rename that to peanut butter shit with goldschlager flakes

El Padrino said...

fucking az

El Padrino said...

why do i have a shitload of lov emails on comments

Jugdish said...

i need the chargers to win tonight to go 4-0 on bets this weekend, including the Phillies game last night.


saw Federererer shot on espn this morning...suite shot

tem said...

"why do i have a shitload of lov emails on comments"

because you must have checked the email follow up comments box.

tem said...

federererer got shot?

Jugdish said...

federererer got shot?


no

ToddPacker said...

"federererer got shot?"

between the legs

blue said...

fedreere is ghey

blue said...

godman the bungles keep coming up with ways to lose games to the broncos

blue said...

2 years ago it was the fumbled snap on an extra point with like 20 seconds left.

El Padrino said...

"because you must have checked the email follow up comments box."

i was drunk often this weekend

El Padrino said...

nice post keef

i enjoy woe

blue said...

fucking rockies....fuck them in the keith

tem said...

ISWYDT

El Padrino said...

"then we take a break about 6:00 so we can go eat dinner"

whajjaeat?

El Padrino said...

Weasel (s)

fuck you
s

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

"just wish his rhymes werent so tight, makes it hard, dude is a genous musically"

EP, for once you and I agree 100%...

Well, except I would have spelled genius correctly.

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

I just passed a high end Mercedes on the highway. It was being driven by a big black dude with cornrows. I'm thinking drug dealer or football player

Beth said...

"I just passed a high end Mercedes on the highway. It was being driven by a big black dude with cornrows. I'm thinking drug dealer or football player"

Racist!!!

(S - I'd have thought the same thing.)

Jugdish said...

Follow that car!!

Beth said...

And then I'd have thought "wonder if he likes blonde white girls..."

Jugdish said...

And then I'd have thought "wonder if he likes blonde white cougars..."


fixed



S

El Padrino said...

racist profiling is wrong H

El Padrino said...

why can't big black be a real estate magnate?

or a heart surgeon?

or restauranteur?

Jugdish said...

or an NBA player?

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

"Beth said...

And then I'd have thought "wonder if he likes blonde white girls..."

The answer would likely be yes

Beth said...

"or a heart surgeon?"

Corn rows don't fit well in surgical scrub headcovers.

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

I'm not saying a big black guy can't be those things...

I'm saying a big black guy with cornrows can't be.

Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

Corn row i2i

That's gotta be an LOV first

blue said...

what if it was samuel l jackson

it's possible the guy was a hairdresser/stylist

tem said...

" I'm thinking drug dealer or football player"

can't it be both?

JFreak said...

What's the new job, keith?

tem said...

as. will be selling booze.

El Padrino said...

urlacher crushed rodgers, that Shit was hdh

El Padrino said...

corso was magic with kirk's kids on his lap, frig the KIDS!

TROJANS!

El Padrino said...

"Georgia will kill South Carolina, by a Field Goal."- Lee Corso

blue said...

by the way...jug.

That's the jay cutler i hate and remember.


good news is...can't get any worse than that

El Padrino said...

taylor swift is painfully white

Jugdish said...

he had some bad throws for sure, looked a little skiddish back there at times. however, his receivers did quit on some routes that lead to some INT. He doesn't need to be throwing 70% of his passes to Earl Bennent either. Hester looked good on the few balls he got yesterday

JFreak said...

taylor swift is painfully white

El Padrino said...

i meant her skin tone jfreak

El Padrino said...

beyonce man

mmm...good

JFreak said...

"i meant her skin tone jfreak"

so?

El Padrino said...

this acorn story is hilarity, funny, and sad democratic influence is attached to it

El Padrino said...

serena williams is like brandon jacobs playing tennis

Meiz said...

Beltran's back? Finally!

Meiz said...

Fuck ketchup

blue said...

"he had some bad throws for sure, looked a little skiddish back there at times. however, his receivers did quit on some routes that lead to some INT. He doesn't need to be throwing 70% of his passes to Earl Bennent either. Hester looked good on the few balls he got yesterday"

the problem he always had here was he "locked in" on a reciever and then thought his arm strength would make up the difference, or he could fit a ball in where he couldn't.

He'll get better, but he still has the "i have to go out and win this game" mentality

Jugdish said...

He'll get better, but he still has the "i have to go out and win this game" mentality


especially with all the hype in Chicago of the trade. Their D looked pretty good...I'd just like to see Hester and Olsen involved more

El Padrino said...

earl bennet is his vandy blanky

JFreak said...

good news for jug

Jugdish said...

that sucks

Meiz said...

Why the fuck were you guys talking about baseball yesterday?

blue said...

ouch

Meiz said...

"So she calls her dog over and feeds it some pizza."


I hate these people.

blue said...

fuck the jay leno show

blue said...

and to think, there were people who actually questioned taking PJ with the first pick in FNFL..idjits

blue said...

yahoo's suicide picks has already given me credit for San Diego beating Oakland tonight...suite

El Padrino said...

jet fans real giddy today

Meiz said...

"Jesus Aitch Christ, Esq. said...

Anyone have any good stories from the weekend? Mine was boring."


Fished on an island in the Milwaukee River for a little while on Saturday. Caught me a nice little smallmouth bass. I'm reeling it in, and ~30ft from shore it decides to run on me. Into a fallen tree. I couldn't shake it loose(twss). So I had to take off my shoes & socks and roll up my jorts, and haul my ass in the river to untangle & set free this 8 to 10 inch bass. I quit after that.

blue said...

woe

Spaceman Spiff said...

"urlacher crushed rodgers, that Shit was hdh"

urlacher out for the season with a wrist is also hdh

wadr jug

El Padrino said...

holy shit next week tough for suicide picks

El Padrino said...

could always go with minny over deeetroit

El Padrino said...

but after that not so easy

Spaceman Spiff said...

suite, EP didnt win yet, espn has 2 week playoff rounds

Spaceman Spiff said...

not suite is that i didnt know and made a few desperate add/drops

Spaceman Spiff said...

lil weezy behind the music was on last night, hdh

Meiz said...

"And then I'd have thought "wonder if he likes blonde white girls...""


You aren't fat enough. Black guys LOVE fat white women. Its science.

Meiz said...

"urlacher crushed rodgers, that Shit was hdh"

Rodgers is made of Adamantium. He didn't even feel it.

El Padrino said...

it's jerry jones fault

blue said...

i've never heard Giants stadium referred to as "a great stadium"

blue said...

"the meadowlands"

Meiz said...

They usually use words like "dump" when describing it, I thought.

Meiz said...

Y! championship. Lets do this, Spiff.

Keith S said...

"Insecure chicks dig guys who are an as.

*fixed"


so all chicks. got it

El Padrino said...

it's just a great place to watch a football game

El Padrino said...

now these things are built for different reasons

isiah thompson said...

do you enjoy a schmoke and a pancake?


twas hilarity

isiah thompson said...

and shame on as for no mention of the best game of the CFB weekend....UM's win over ND.

Keith S said...

"keef what's my name and shit?

didnt i give you the spread?"


Fuck. Pay attention. I only said twice this weekend that you don't need to pay up

Keith S said...

"whajjaeat?"

Subway Spicy Italian

ns

El Padrino said...

fucking pedro
thank god football is here to alleviate this pain from the mets season

blue said...

UM looks decent.

UND probably a little overrated, but UM better than espected

El Padrino said...

"Subway Spicy Italian

ns"

woe

El Padrino said...

"Fuck. Pay attention. I only said twice this weekend that you don't need to pay up"

was drunk often

El Padrino said...

man that um game was the shit

Keith S said...

"he had some bad throws for sure, looked a little skiddish back there at times. however, his receivers did quit on some routes that lead to some INT. He doesn't need to be throwing 70% of his passes to Earl Bennent either. Hester looked good on the few balls he got yesterday"

First half he was throwing everything off his back foot. Those first couple drives in the 2nd half he was finally getting some time to throw and he could get set and make a decent pass. If he gets any pressure, he starts falling away as he throws and gets nothing on it

isiah thompson said...

UND probably a little overrated, but UM better than espected


hate to say it but Claussen and those WRs are the fucking troof.

isiah thompson said...

so how many will FLA hang on Tenn this weekend?


over/under of 60?

Beth said...

"You aren't fat enough. Black guys LOVE fat white women. Its science."

Some friendly advice meiz. Never include the word "enough" after the statement "you aren't fat" when talking to a woman. Not unless you want them to take it as an insult.

Meiz said...

I was so bored this weekend, I thought about building a cross, burning it, and vidyoing it for you guys.

isiah thompson said...

and OSU is ratarded trying to make TP a pro-style qb.

Meiz said...

"Never include the word "enough" after the statement "you aren't fat" when talking to a woman."


It crossed my mind. Whatever. Clearly, I don't care.

isiah thompson said...

does MTV even play vidyeo's anymore?

can't remember the last vidyeo I saw


ns

Keith S said...

"and shame on as for no mention of the best game of the CFB weekend....UM's win over ND."

Big win for RRod even though it was just ND. But I had enough woe in the post.

isiah thompson said...

at the end of the UM game Weiss thought there should be some time left on the clock but the refs bolted past him and ran up the tunnel.

since he weighs 450 he had to point to someone to go run after the refs.

twas hilarity

El Padrino said...

"can't remember the last vidyeo I saw


ns"

no, thye play them on other mtv's

isiah thompson said...

hopefully Gary Kubiak has the resume updated.

isiah thompson said...

MVTV?

El Padrino said...

mtv 2 and most cable companies carry a mtv channel that shows music vids all day

Keith S said...

"Being neither >>>>>>>>>> being an as. or a ratard."

You're as snarky and as.-like as anyone here

ns

El Padrino said...

If he does not sign a contract with the 49ers by Nov. 17, Crabtree won't be able to play in 2009.

Meiz said...

And there are definitely situations where one could say "not fat enough".


Little skinny bitch: Hi, my name is Sarah.

Dude: Sorry honey, you're not quite fat enough.

El Padrino said...

spiff i'm not seeing urlacher out for the year

Beth said...

"It crossed my mind. Whatever. Clearly, I don't care."

Hey, I was just trying to help you out with how you talk to women for future reference. If you don't care to ever get laid that's not my concern.

wadr

El Padrino said...

nevermind, the chi tribune is ratarded

El Padrino said...

"If you don't care to ever get laid that's not my concern."

meiz ya gotta stop putting the pussy on a pedestial, that's your problem

Keith S said...

"Hey, I was just trying to help you out with how you talk to women for future reference."


It's Wisconsin. They're all fat enough

Keith S said...

"spiff i'm not seeing urlacher out for the year"

It's on WWL

El Padrino said...

seems weird to miss the whole year from a dislocated wrist

i'd think 7 weeks and you'd be back
or even sooner if you play with one of those club things that dawkins rocked during pre-season

blue said...

"spiff i'm not seeing urlacher out for the year"

it's the top headline at ESPN

Keith S said...

Fucking Nadal cost me $.96

blue said...

it's widely known that urlacher is a pussy

Keith S said...

mize did you order the golf mag

El Padrino said...

jesus jet fans relax, it's one game
and next week you have the pats

isiah thompson said...

also on TP...he seems to be missing something.

supreme physical talent but he doesn't seem like much of a leader or someone guys rally around.

blue said...

he looked to throw the ball better this year than he did last year though

El Padrino said...

zeke am i paying you
spiff you too

wft

i know it's not a happy win for you guys especically since you needed tomfoolery to actually score a td but we did make a bet

Keith S said...

"supreme physical talent but he doesn't seem like much of a leader or someone guys rally around."


He acts like a kid. When they had that safety he's on the sideline jumping up and down like they had won the game.

blue said...

barkley looked scurred until that last drive.

lots of passes behind guys

El Padrino said...

and denagelo hall has to be the most overated player in the league

Keith S said...

"i know it's not a happy win for you guys especically since you needed tomfoolery to actually score a td but we did make a bet"


Weasel talk. Especically from you

El Padrino said...

"He acts like a kid. When they had that safety he's on the sideline jumping up and down like they had won the game."

saw that, shook my head

isiah thompson said...

I'm taking name suggestions for EP....

blue said...

Dan Hawkins...it's the BIG 12...maybe he should have focused on the other teams he has to play.

they're gonna get slaughtered come big12 play

El Padrino said...

"Weasel talk. Especically from you"

::Swimming by the bait::

isiah thompson said...

and denagelo hall has to be the most overated player in the league

he's a total wizard's sleeve

blue said...

Tressel is like 0-37 against BCS teams out of conference now, right?

Keith S said...

The good news for mize is that the Lions look like they're well on their way to 8-8

El Padrino said...

that purple jesus run was gorgeous
he looked like fucking jim brown

El Padrino said...

block

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