Tuesday, September 29, 2009

GG OF 14

LICENSE PLATE

GG OF 14. I figured it would be a really old lady. It was some 16yr old kid. I guess GG can't drive anymore because she is old. Or dead. Or both. Do you stop being old when you die? I guess so. I never say, wow that Abe Lincoln sure is old. Of course I don't talk about Abe very much. Maybe if I talked about him more I'd call him old. Meiz was not allowed to talk about Abe in his old place. Or his current place, I guess he moves in tomorrow.

TEM STORY

Sitting at the bar last night eating some food and having a couple beers. I am up to beer number four and the waitress asks me if I knew buckets of 6 were cheaper. I say nope, and she says yeah, but don't worry about it, she'll just put a bucket in the system for me. So I am thinking, cool, I'll have two more and just pay the bucket price instead of the regular price....Nope, she brings me a whole bucket of 6 beers. I wasn't really looking to have 10 beers last night, but oh well. I thought about just taking a couple home with me, but then I just finished them.

Also at the bar there was this chick and her dude sitting near me. The chick says "no, I don't want to go to a strip club on monday night." I wasn't really listening to them, but I had to laugh when I heard that. She noticed I laughed and asked me what I thought about strip clubs on Mondays. I told her that they usually have the D squad out on Monday and not the first stringers, so I wouldn't go on a Monday. Then she gets all mad and says "what? I usually work on Monday nights." I couldn't tell if that meant she was a stripper or just dumb and thought I meant all places of employment put out the D squad on Monday night. So I just blank stared her and went back to drinking.

TEM THOUGHTS

So I think that LOV would work well as some sort of TV drama/comedy on ABC. Like some sort of Sunday night thing. We certainly have enough characters and story lines to keep it interesting. The only problem would be how to have the main characters interact. I mean, the show couldn't just have us typing on a blog. I guess it could. I don't know. Solve that problem and I think the show writes itself. Someone get on that. Give me royalties. I'll write some of the show if you solve the interaction problem.

As we are all probably aware my mind thinks weird shit. I just can't help it. Here are the WWL headlines and then my immediate thoughts:

Sources: QB Pennington out for year - Out where? Being outside that long will cause him to catch a cold.

Blog USC RB critical, stable after 7-hour surgery - He shouldn't be critical of his doctors, he is the one that dropped a bar on his neck. Maybe he is critical of his spotter. He should be critical of his spotter.

Meyer hopes Tebow will return for LSU game - Tebow will return when he is damn well ready to.

Report: Raiders aide tells cops Cable broke jaw - Whose jaw? The aide's jaw? Cable's own jaw? Do we need to report on everything people tell the cops? I once saw a bum tell a cop that some old dude punched him and stoled his piss jar. That never made the news.

Angels clinch West, honor fallen teammate - Maybe instead of honoring him they should just help him up.

TEM MOVIE REVIEW

OK this post is dragging on and it is already 9:15 so let's get to the review. That is 9:!5 EST of course.

Couples Retreat

This movie is a classic Army movie. Well classic might be a strong word. Let's just say it is an Army movie. It's no Stripes, but it might be In The Army Now.

Anyway, so this is about the famous Couples Retreat of the first all gay platoon. Don't ask me how they made an all gay platoon, or why, the movie never tells me, but they did make one. And if you don't believe me give me like an hour and I'll show you a Wiki page for it. So this gay platoon is marching on the bad guys, they are not doing so well. You know, because they are gay and stereotypically gays can't fight. They throw grenades poorly and they don't hold the guns right. Which is odd because you'd think that gays would be good at holding guns, but I digress. So they decide to retreat. The movie is about their retreat.

Oh yeah, it is the couples retreat because the gays are all dating each other. I left that part out.

So the gay couples retreat from battle and hilarity ensues. I think Vince Vaughn dies in the movie. Literally, I think it was on CNN awhile back.

1 helmet sticker out of 5. I need to start reviewing good movies.

353 comments:

1 – 200 of 353   Newer›   Newest»
Do I look fat? said...

Good post tem, I especially enjoyed the bar stories.

Do I look fat? said...

And that waitress was either an idiot or just decided that the tip on 10 beers >>>>>> the tip on 6 beers.

Jugdish said...

why was i waiting for beth to post first when she has that pic?

blue said...

keith has a hardon for dogs, that's why he gave beth that pic

blue said...

fucking braves need to start losing

tem said...

bar stories are always fun

tem said...

*Good post freak, I especially enjoyed the bar stories.


*fixed

blue said...

freak doesn't go to the bar

El Padrino said...

first midget dong talk then gay couple retreat movie review

the tide is turning

Do I look fat? said...

fucking rockies need to start losing

*fixed

El Padrino said...

"Angels clinch West, honor fallen teammate - Maybe instead of honoring him they should just help him up."

hilarity, but aja that was kool*

Jugdish said...

fucking rockies need to continue losing

*fixed

blue said...

Redskins plane was parked at the airport out near my house yesterday...rumor has it that Dan Snyder was making a visit to one Mike Shanahan

Do I look fat? said...

Good fix jug.

Do I look fat? said...

I'm still trying to figure out why Tem thought GG OF 14 would be for an old lady or a 16 year old.

Clearly it's for a baseball player with initials of GG who wears no 14 and plays the outfield.

s

tem said...

i figured it would be an old lady.

was SAS to see a 16yr old kid.

nerver thought he'd be on outfielder.

tem said...

"freak doesn't go to the bar"

fair enough, i guess.

tem said...

"Redskins plane was parked at the airport out near my house yesterday"

which house? your regular home, your new home or your condo?

Do I look fat? said...

Damn, my blondeness strikes again. I just realized you expected an old lady cause you thought it was saying "Great Grandmother OF 14".

El Padrino said...

blue lives in a hangar?

Do I look fat? said...

I can only hope that one day I'll mention "my house" and someone will have to ask me which house.

tem said...

""Great Grandmother OF 14"."

yep, that's what i expected.

tem said...

or I guess an old dude for great granpa.

tem said...

"I can only hope that one day I'll mention "my house" and someone will have to ask me which house."

don't set the bar too high. not everyone can be bluecessful

blue said...

maybe GG stands for gigantic gonads

Do I look fat? said...

"don't set the bar too high. not everyone can be bluecessful"

2 crackhouses would qualify.

tem said...

2 crackhouses, 2 whorehouses, 2 outhouses, whatever.

blue said...

snyder's plane was parked near my villa in tuscany

tem said...

maybe just marry two guys (lawyers obviously) and take their houses.

tem said...

"snyder's plane was parked near my villa in tuscany"

is that where you get your spaghetti sauce and pizza?

blue said...

yes, and my "tour of italy"

tem said...

that's what being blueccessful is all about.

tem said...

"First lady says 'gloves are off' in Olympics bid "

well i'd hope so. wearing gloves indoors is dumb. and i assume that she is doing her bidding indoors. i mean the people who run the olympics have to be inside right?

if she has been wearing her gloves inside this whole time then chicago will never get the olympics.

blue said...

you would wear gloves if they were bidding for the winter olympics though right?

El Padrino said...

bizarre, egyptians slaughters all thier pigs because of swine flu, but they used to feed them garbage and now that they are all dead the garbage is piling up on the streets

who feeds garbage to pigs? what does that do to the pork?

tem said...

"And that waitress was either an idiot or just decided that the tip on 10 beers >>>>>> the tip on 6 beers."

probably a bit of both.

she is definitely an idiot.

tem said...

"you would wear gloves if they were bidding for the winter olympics though right?"

not inside.

tem said...

"who feeds garbage to pigs? "

egyptians....you just said that.

blue said...

what if the bidding was inside the ice hotel

blue said...

"who feeds garbage to pigs?"

didn't you watch snatch?

tem said...

"Homeless sex offenders camp in woods"


the homeless are getting a good head start on tent city.

in fact when tent city hits the homeless will have all the knowledge. they'll have the experience of living in tents and boxes and under bridges. they will be the leaders of tent city because they will know what to do.

2011 is when the homeless rise up and take control. TP is fucked, he is on the homeless blacklist.

tem said...

"what if the bidding was inside the ice hotel"

like in James Bond?

blue said...

yep, they're already circulating pictures of TP

blue said...

yes, like in james bond

tem said...

if it was an ice hotel like in James Bond then yes, she could wear her gloves.

blue said...

ok, just checking

El Padrino said...

"2011 is when the homeless rise up and take control."

we should write a movie script based on this

El Padrino said...

"6. Several places, including McDonald's and In-N-Out, will serve you the Neapolitan milkshake. It's just what it sounds like -- chocolate, vanilla and strawberry shakes layered in a cup."


good to know

tem said...

"we should write a movie script based on this"

the movie and the LOV TV show = we are all blueccessful

El Padrino said...

"10. Some Subways will still make you the popular pizza sub from the 1990s. Once the chain decided to make their focus healthy eating, the pizza sub disappeared from the menu in most places (the word is that Canadian and Mexican Subways still offer them on a regular basis). But if you ask, lots of places will still make it for you. Be warned, though -- Jared would not approve of the nine slices of pepperoni and copious amounts of cheese slathered in marinara sauce."


wow pizza sub from subway must be delicious





fucking S

tem said...

it is pretty good

El Padrino said...

"I'll write some of the show if you solve the interaction problem."

we blog for 5 years, then all meet at a reunion (lov-picnic)

hilarity ensues

tem said...

they had a chicken parm sub that was great too.

the sauce was straight from italy. actually maybe it was better than italy.

tem said...

that's the series finale el pad.

blue said...

i like to think that the tv show would be like the end of doogie howser...just a bunch of retards typing on their computers

blue said...

you can get pizza at subway now..authentic NY pizza (ns)

Do I look fat? said...

So would we play ourselves in the series?

JFreak said...

LoV TV picnic would have to end in a massive fight.

JFreak said...

"freak doesn't go to the bar"

says you.

El Padrino said...

"that's the series finale el pad."

exactly, but since we always add a new wrinkle our season finale will be our season premiere

then each episode will work backwards, highlighting various storylines for each character

so for example your bar story will be acted out in a episode which will segue into another character story, into another and so forth

and if we last long enough we get all the way to the end and our series finale is the day rev published viva la revolucion

El Padrino said...

*the above is already copywritten by El Padrino, CO.*

El Padrino said...

"LoV TV picnic would have to end in a massive fight."

Anchorman style

El Padrino said...

"So would we play ourselves in the series?"

yes, i think so

freak steal camera equipment from fresno, we are going to need it

Do I look fat? said...

the above was already done as an episode of Seinfeld.

*fixed

El Padrino said...

i've only seen like 30 seinfeld episodes

Do I look fat? said...

"So would we play ourselves in the series?"

"yes, i think so"

And someone is going to need to study how they make Tom Cruise look normal size so that we can use that for the EP scenes.

Do I look fat? said...

"i've only seen like 30 seinfeld episodes"

They had one where it started at the end and gradually went backwards.

JFreak said...

"They had one where it started at the end and gradually went backwards."

They didn't do the whole series that way, so boo-ya.

El Padrino said...

in you face elizabeth

tem said...

i think el pad's idear isn't bad.

dare i say that i like it.

JFreak said...

Do you dare?

Meiz said...

"So would we play ourselves in the series?"


I vote yes. And its all ad-libbed.

El Padrino said...

god damn, that's a brawl

El Padrino said...

time to write a tv pilot

tem said...

"I vote yes. And its all ad-libbed."

makes writing the episodes easy.

tem said...

did el pad just link up a kid getting beat to death?

El Padrino said...

"did el pad just link up a kid getting beat to death?"

I did. It made me sad.

JFreak said...

El Pad, how long does zeke have your name for?

blue said...

the fight would be of zack/slater proportions

blue said...

speaking of which, that episode was on this morning

tem said...

"I did. It made me sad."

yeah, good lord. thanks for the debbie downer.

blue said...

and...tbs has fized their schedule back so my sbtb viewing problem has been corrected.


thanks obama

El Padrino said...

"El Pad, how long does zeke have your name for?"

2 days

tem said...

TBS knows comedy

Meiz said...

The Picnic IS the movie(After the TV series ends).

blue said...

that fight shit was brutal.

El Padrino said...

all i know is we have some golden episodes:

rev's sleep contraption
jug's bridge mishap
keef's fake concussion
piss ice
Tp's decking of a homeless man
my football melee
T's $1000 bouqet of roses
deke's KKK living situation
zeke's retirement
who cares death
stiggy's missing person case
aitch's american idol diaries
me in general
the whole temgagement

it's endless

blue said...

wrong place wrong time for that kid

El Padrino said...

forgot cheese heroin

Meiz said...

Goddamn bitch on fb has been woeing over her dead grandma for a solid week. Get over it.

Old people die. Its what they do.

tem said...

"that fight shit was brutal."

i had to stop watching it.

blue said...

so now, meiz is woeing about woeing

isiah thompson said...

who feeds garbage to pigs? what does that do to the pork?


you need to watch that episode of Dirty Yobs where the pig farmer in Vegas makes pig food out of buffet left-over (re: trash)

Spaceman Spiff said...

is our show on cable so that i can post titties

blue said...

"i had to stop watching it"

the worse is at the end when the chicks are dragging the dead kid and telling him to wake up...sends shivers

isiah thompson said...

EP your name is White Webster, efforting on the pic.

tried to warn you about JDH

blue said...

is our show on cable so that beth can show her titties*

(fized)

Spaceman Spiff said...

delhomme is awesome

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Redskins plane was parked at the airport out near my house yesterday...rumor has it that Dan Snyder was making a visit to one Mike Shanahan"

blue, any idea who shanny would bring in as D coordinator

isiah thompson said...

JDH is 2 letters away from HDH and that just doesn't work in the NFL.

Do I look fat? said...

"is our show on cable so that beth can show her titties*

(fized)"

You beat me to it blue, that was going to be my fix. :-)

Spaceman Spiff said...

why didnt the panthers run the ball more, the game was close for a while

blue said...

"blue, any idea who shanny would bring in as D coordinator"

gregg robinson?

no clue, he was touring camps with Bob Slowik, i think, but i doubt that Snyder would let him bring in slowik

tem said...

"the worse is at the end when the chicks are dragging the dead kid and telling him to wake up...sends shivers"

glad i stopped.

isiah thompson said...

gregg robinson?



stop, he's not leaving UM

El Padrino said...

"tried to warn you about JDH"

THE PICK 6 was clearly smiff's fault, jdh did not play bad

JFreak said...

"Redskins plane was parked at the airport out near my house yesterday...rumor has it that Dan Snyder was making a visit to one Mike Shanahan"

That rumor was wrong. Says Adam Schefter.

Meiz said...

Cheapskate's actually giving me a paid day off. I am honestly SAS.

Spaceman Spiff said...

schefter works for WWL now, he cant be trusted

blue said...

"That rumor was wrong. Says Adam Schefter."

schefter doesn't know shit...he's living it up in bristol now.

blue said...

So Dan Snyder, or some other Redskins exec, just decided to come to Denver for the Great American Beer fest...and to see the aspens changing colors...got it.

tem said...

maybe it was someone who likes the redskins and painted their plane as such?

JFreak said...

I think Schefter said shanny wasn't even in denver yesterday.

JFreak said...

All show and no trousers.

Spaceman Spiff said...

the redskins said that their plane is used for business at times by other peeps or some shit, that the plane being there was not football related

Meiz said...

All fur coat and no trousers



*fixed

Meiz said...

Is Y! fantasy down right now?

JFreak said...

Nope, all show and no trousers.

blue said...

"I think Schefter said shanny wasn't even in denver yesterday."

nope, he was in DC, the plane was there to pick up his wife

Meiz said...

Welker is still not playing football? What the fuck, Wes?

Meiz said...

All fur coat, no trousers

Meiz said...

All hat, no cattle

Meiz said...

Has there ever been a Tem era?

blue said...

isn't it always a tem era

blue said...

TJW has to be part of the tv show

El Padrino said...

be back at 1

Spaceman Spiff said...

EST?

isiah thompson said...

wasn't Mike Shanny a .500 coach post-elway?

cutty greater > blacktard

not sure if shanny is the answer, he's what 69 years old?

blue said...

he's not a great coach anymore....same age as belicheck

Spaceman Spiff said...

blacktard wont be there next year, so he would choose whatever QB. shanny would need to bring in a D coordinator that knows how to pressure the QB/blitz at times. this D has better players than the one he built. also, dont let shanny have any input when drafting D players. skins also need a real GM.

thats a lot of stuff, suite

blue said...

i don't think he's the answer either, but he's gotta be better than zorn

Spaceman Spiff said...

wouldnt mind gruden except for the QB hoarding

isiah thompson said...

Gruden would be my first pick.

shanny/holmgren are too old, they've been there/done that. Skins need a major rebuilding.

snyder won't do that though.

and he won't hire a GM, Cerrato is in like that.

Meiz said...

"wouldnt mind gruden except for the QB hoarding"


I see nothing wrong with QB hoarding.


/Meiz's Keeper team

JFreak said...

Blue, don't forget to post TMQ today.

Meiz said...

Where the hell is blue gonna post TMQ?

JFreak said...

In your face.

BAM!

Meiz said...

I won't allow him to do that. Or maybe I should let him think he can do it, then I'll seize my opportunity to kick him.

isiah thompson said...

One of the suspects accused of killing an honor student in a beating captured on tape in Chicago has admitted to jumping on the victim's head after he was lying on the ground, according to spokeswoman for the state's attorney. The victim, Derrion Albert, never struck him, 19-year-old Silvanus Shannon said in his videotaped confession, the spokeswoman said


stone cone*

ToddPacker said...

that fight video was awful

Meiz said...

I am unfazed by the fight video

Meiz said...

I'm benching Romo for Eli

Keith S said...

hi

isiah thompson said...

I am unfazed by the fight video

diddo*

the sound of the boards cracking skulls was straight street

Keith S said...

i don't think I want to watch that video

JFreak said...

"I am unfazed by the fight video"

God, you are so damn cool.

tem said...

you don't

Meiz said...

"i don't think I want to watch that video"


Its not that bad

Meiz said...

"God, you are so damn cool."


This is not news to me, dork.

Keith S said...

I saw no white people in that video

Meiz said...

They killed the white guy before filming. That was a test run for the real deal.

Keith S said...

Oh ok. At least we didn't have to see that

Keith S said...

Noone in my $ league is undefeated after 3 weeks

blue said...

the dude that died is the one the camera guy goes "daaaaaaaaaaamn!!!"

when he gets hit by the board..

Meiz said...

How can you not dodge a big ass board like that?

isiah thompson said...

How can you not dodge a big ass board like that?


not everyone is an ex-NBA scab with cat like reflexes deke.

tem said...

anyone ever walk around and just feel shorter than normal?

and that is not a deliberate lead in to an el pad joke.

isiah thompson said...

Source: Colts' Freeney to miss 2 to 3 weeks

how's that grab ya freak?

tem said...

"How can you not dodge a big ass board like that?"

you just saw a video of how you can not dodge it.

he missed the "if you can dodge a wrench" day at school.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"How can you not dodge a big ass board like that?"

if steve isnt there to push you out of the way and/or take the hit for you, you aint dodgin it

science

ToddPacker said...

"Noone in my $ league is undefeated after 3 weeks"

same here

Spaceman Spiff said...

"anyone ever walk around and just feel shorter than normal?"

no

ToddPacker said...

""anyone ever walk around and just feel shorter than normal?"


never

blue said...

sometimes i feel shorter than normal..

i'm with ya tem.

blue said...

""How can you not dodge a big ass board like that?""

hard to dodge when you get hit from the side/behind

JFreak said...

"how's that grab ya freak?"

Softly, from the front.

isiah thompson said...

and that is not a deliberate lead in to an el pad joke.


now you know how I feel everyday

/ep


*I'll hit the bp fastball if noone else will.

Do I look fat? said...

"anyone ever walk around and just feel shorter than normal?"

Women just walk around feeling fatter than normal, even if they aren't.

tem said...

i am walking around more straight up now. i feel short today.

White Webster said...

i enjoy shooting people down

Meiz said...

"anyone ever walk around and just feel shorter than normal?"


Yes. People always tell me I'm tall. I don't buy it. This is why I wish I was 6'7". I have a being short complex.

White Webster said...

this name means nothing without a pic

White Webster said...

"anyone ever walk around and just feel shorter than normal?"

never

isiah thompson said...

having a difficult time finding a decent pic.

google doesn't bring good midget pics

Meiz said...

"i enjoy shooting people down"


Go for it

blue said...

i think it has to do with women and their high heels

Meiz said...

Goddamn it. I just got a juror survey in the mail.

tem said...

nerver been called for juror doody

Meiz said...

Should I call & tell them that I don't live in Ozaukee County?

isiah thompson said...

here ya go EP, not the best but it will do

isiah thompson said...

Should I call & tell them that I don't live in Ozaukee County?


just tell them about your kkk membership.

White Webster said...

good lawd

blue said...

tell them that you're tight with GK

tem said...

"Should I call & tell them that I don't live in Ozaukee County?"

if you really don't live there then yes, yes you should.

Meiz said...

"if you really don't live there then yes, yes you should."


But technically, I'll be living there starting Thursday.

JFreak said...

white webster

White Webster said...

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

isiah thompson said...

blocked on that pic, if it's good change'r up EP, thanks and regards.

JFreak said...

I whitefaced gary coleman in paint.

White Webster said...

young dong is a great restaurant

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Yes. People always tell me I'm tall."

thats to build themselves up, so they dont feel so short.

also, some dudes do this to back up their story. theyll say i must be 6'5" because they are 6'2" and their story doesnt hold up when i tell them im actually 6'3" but im way taller than them

isiah thompson said...

here ya go freak, best pic yet about that UM pick, you can see that the UM has the ball

White Webster said...

ninja cat

Meiz said...

Cary Coleman wasn't Webster

White Webster said...

that's why i aint changiny my pic

emmanuel lewis would be pissed

White Webster said...

freak is confusing his balck midgets

racist sock lover

Jugdish said...

freak is confusing his balck midgets


they all look the same


/freak

JFreak said...

Who was Gary Coleman?

White Webster said...

WHATCHYOU TALKING BOUT WILLIS!

White Webster said...

block

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"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino