Friday, September 18, 2009

El Padrino's Weekly Betting Guide

Miami dominated last night. They are the only team who can threaten Va Tech in that league.

Hate it when Sportswriters play the hindsight game. Don Banks from SI chrohincles the 2007 NFL draft in which 6 players were selected before Adrian Peterson and that if the draft was done all over again he would go first. WELL LADEEE FREAKING DAH, LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE ALBERT EINSTEIN WRITING FOR SPORTS ILLUSTRATED. Little does Donnie Banks know that the Raiders had the #1 pick that year and even knowing what they know now they still wouldn't make the right choice.

Crabtree needs a hug.

Last week: 3-2

Going to do money from now on because really what's the point of picking games if I'm not putting a value on them. And money is the best value of them all. Also I loved Minny so much last week I would have put a fake $500 on them for sure. Moving on.......

College plays:
Over is 44-10 in RICE last 54 games overall
THAT^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ =

Rice @ OK ST over 66 for $50
WASH +19.5 over Usc for $50, good QB, Sarkisian, nice crowd, Usc off the high of a tough win, and it's been pretty lopsided, I think Wash is better.


NFL:
TITANS -7 over Texans ($250)
Outside of their last meeting the Titans have dominated the series winning 7 straight, before losing to them in December, by an average of about 8 points. Right at the spread. Vegas is genius. Anyway the Titans coming off a brutal "playoff" like game last Thursday and needed the extra day of rest. Especially for an old goat like Collins. Texans proved last week that they can de dominated by a defense so this is a matchup that doesnt bode well. Throw in the fact that the Titans are a robust 9-0 ATS in September games and I love it. Throw in the fact that it's Tennesee's home opener and I wanna fuck it.

DETROIT+10 over Vikings ($100)
I know, I'm crazy. But they did put up a fight against a top NFC team last week. It seems like they will win a game one day and even if this Sunday is not the day they should keep it within ten points. Last year they played Minnesota tough at home and on the road. Funny too that the line was 10 the last time they played, Minnesota won 20-16 that day. Detroit is 4-0 in their last 4 NFC North games which means they are closing the gap. Also remember Farve's record at Detroit is not spectacular.

Baltimore +3 over CHARGERS ($100)
I know this is San Deigo's home opener but I love these Ravens. They dominated KC as we knew they would. Don't be fooled by the score, KC had a special teams TD and had a short field from a rare Baltimore turnover. That's 14 less points they really should have had. Ravens had the ball for about 20 minutes more than KC. The Chargers were tossed around for three quarters against the Raiders who might be a better team they we all think but still they are the Raiders. That's a game SD should be winning by 3 scores. Baltimore always travels well and are 9-2 ATS against the AFC in the past 11 games. 16-5 in the last 21 PERIOD.

805 comments:

1 – 200 of 805   Newer›   Newest»
Just Plain H said...

"chrohincles"

Fabulous

Beth said...

This weekend the game I think I'm most interested to see the results of (after the Falcons and Dawgs of course) has to be UF-Tenn. This may be the only time all season (ever?) that I'm rooting for UF to totally annihilate the other team - I think Kiffin is a clown.

Beth said...

Geez H, couldn't wait 1 more minute?

WOPer Jr. said...

kiffin is a genius

Steve said...

kiffin is a genius clown?


sounds like an interesting guy.

Jugdish said...

DETROIT+10 over Vikings ($100)


mEEz approves

WOPer Jr. said...

"chrohincles"

Fabulous

everyone's a fucking grammar teacher in this place

WOPer Jr. said...

twins gonna catch det kod

WOPer Jr. said...

how players go broke

JFreak said...

"Going to do money from now on because really what's the point of picking games if I'm not putting a value on them."

Because you aren't actually betting that amount.

You should just put eleventy bajillion dollars next to each one, that's just as relevant.

WOPer Jr. said...

giants injuries are bothering me, quite a bit for early season

WOPer Jr. said...

"You should just put eleventy bajillion dollars next to each one, that's just as relevant."

it's what i would bet if i were betting and it allows the public to know how strongly i feel about the paticular bet

dickwad

blue said...

not really...it makes it relative yes...but freak has a point


$$$ values mean nothing without the context of the type of money you have...Jordan used to bet 50K on a hand of cards, barkley lost $12M in vegas...they would guffaw are your measley $$$ amounts

blue said...

and i don't understand the "lions are 4-0 in their last 4 NFC North games" comment

blue said...

do you mean ATS?

blue said...

eating a breakfast burrito with ::hot sauce:: green chile and rubbed my eye.

i think it's swelling shut

WOPer Jr. said...

"do you mean ATS?"

yes, beth reads that as ATM though

WOPer Jr. said...

"they would guffaw are your measley $$$ amounts"

these are the amounts i used to use, there was a system

500
250
150
100
50

that is all

blue said...

office last night was "meh"

WOPer Jr. said...

While shopping recently at RadioShack, Florida quarterback Tim Tebow was approached by a woman with a seemingly innocuous request to take a picture with him. But an instant before her mother snapped the photo with a cellphone camera, the woman tried to take off her shirt.

"It’s happened four or five times," Tebow said with a sigh. "Most of the time I just dive out of the picture. Some people can just be crazy."

blue said...

sucks to be gaybow

kodiac said...

twins gonna catch det kod

that would be suite, but I don't see it happening; especially with Morneau shelved for the year

blue said...

rockies doing their best Mess impersonation still

WOPer Jr. said...

"that would be suite, but I don't see it happening; especially with Morneau shelved for the year"

det is awful right now

Beth said...

"office last night was "meh"

I thought it was good. I especially thought the whole Andy "tell me if I'm gay!!" storyline was hilarity.

Jugdish said...

det is awful right now


fucking acronyms

blue said...

that was funny and the line where michael asks Jim how long he's known that Pam is preggers

Steve said...

The 7 Sexiest Celebrity Stoners

WOPer Jr. said...

lefties are red-headed stepchildren

ToddPacker said...

"This may be the only time all season (ever?) that I'm rooting for UF to totally annihilate the other team - I think Kiffin is a clown"

UGA support... nice

Keith S said...

"Also I loved Minny so much last week I would have put a fake $500 on them for sure. "


I bet you also would have put $500 on USC -7, too

Keith S said...

I have a daughter, how can I be a virgin?

Keith S said...

She in an anorexitic

Jugdish said...

About five years ago, Hunter says, he invested almost $70,000 in an invention: an inflatable raft that would sit under furniture. The pitch was that when high-rainfall areas were flooded, consumers could pump up the device, allowing a sofa to float and remain dry


i found that to be funny

Keith S said...

There were some good lines last night

Keith S said...

PGA taking this week off is dumb

kodiac said...

Tangerine, Tangerine, Living reflection from a dream;
I was her love, she was my queen, And now a thousand years between.

Very underrated song

-100% agreed; very underrated album as a whole

tem said...

"Titans are a robust 9-0 ATS in September games and I love it. Throw in the fact that it's Tennesee's home opener and I wanna fuck it."

interesting how you first love something then when it gets better you want to fuck it.

i'd figure you'd fuck anything and save the love for last.

WOPer Jr. said...

"PGA taking this week off is dumb"

they are tired

tem said...

woe

WOPer Jr. said...

Only one in four Oklahoma public high school students can name the first President of the United States, according to a survey released today.

The survey was commissioned by the Oklahoma Council of Public Affairs in observance of Constitution Day on Thursday.

WOPer Jr. said...

forget where you left your beer? no problem, page it

WOPer Jr. said...

i want a pussy taco

WOPer Jr. said...

a labia burger

WOPer Jr. said...

a breast panini

WOPer Jr. said...

a vagina cupcake

WOPer Jr. said...

a twat waffle

WOPer Jr. said...

a titty popsicle

WOPer Jr. said...

a clitoris club sammich

WOPer Jr. said...

some pussy lip soup

WOPer Jr. said...

a nipple ice cream sundae

WOPer Jr. said...

a glory hole special

WOPer Jr. said...

an areola pizza

WOPer Jr. said...

a buttcheek banana split

WOPer Jr. said...

a cleavage cabbage salad

Just Plain H said...

Wow, EP needs to get laid

WOPer Jr. said...

a pussy pancake

WOPer Jr. said...

dirty words run

that was suite

WOPer Jr. said...

aithc you have me confused with meez/tem/steve

i'm married, i get laid all the time

hahahahahaa

Just Plain H said...

"i'm married, i get laid all the time

hahahahahaa"

I thought once you get married you stop getting laid? Or is it you don't get BJs anymore. Something like that.

WOPer Jr. said...

dallas stadium, i know we are tired of hearing about it but this is a cool article

WOPer Jr. said...

"I thought once you get married you stop getting laid? Or is it you don't get BJs anymore. Something like that."

hence the hahhahahahahaha, i dont even know what a bj is

Just Plain H said...

Mayweather vs. Marquez

Who ya got?

ToddPacker said...

"-100% agreed; very underrated album as a whole"

this^^

Just Plain H said...

"hence the hahhahahahahaha, i dont even know what a bj is"

^^ THIS is why I stay single.

ToddPacker said...

h is smat

WOPer Jr. said...

"^^ THIS is why I stay single."

sure it is aitch, sure it is

Jugdish said...

^^ THIS is why I stay single.


livin the dream

WOPer Jr. said...

mine are the deadest!!!!!!

Spaceman Spiff said...

"
^^ THIS is why I stay single."

didnt you want to get back with your ex a few weeks ago

blue said...

yeah sex flows like the salmon of capistrano when you're married

Beth said...

"hence the hahhahahahahaha, i dont even know what a bj is"

I do.

WOPer Jr. said...

field trip? bright idea

WOPer Jr. said...

"I do."

yea but does fmbeth know what it is, when you marry him bet he'll forget

JFreak said...

"^^ THIS is why I stay single."

Oh really? That's why you're single?

Cool. Good to know.

Beth said...

"yea but does fmbeth know what it is, when you marry him bet he'll forget"

See, he should be thankful that I'm not pushing for a date.


And shame on you EP, you can't link a mental institution story and not reference steve in some way, that's against LOV rules.

ToddPacker said...

"I do."

you lie

/fmbeth

WOPer Jr. said...

"See, he should be thankful that I'm not pushing for a date."

i thought you didnt mind waiting

WOPer Jr. said...

i agree with sg on carolina
i cant see delhomme crapping his pants again like that

ToddPacker said...

miami looked pretty good last night... how bad is georgia tech?

Beth said...

"i thought you didnt mind waiting"

That's what I meant.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"i cant see delhomme crapping his pants again like that"

why not, he sucks

Beth said...

"how bad is georgia tech?"

GT is not good - they had a not too impressive game against Jacksonville State and then almost let Clemson win after getting a big lead. Last night was encouraging for the UGA-GT game.

blue said...

YOU LIE!!!!

WOPer Jr. said...

"why not, he sucks"

yeah but not really, he's like 20games over .500 as a starter

Spaceman Spiff said...

"yeah but not really, he's like 20games over .500 as a starter"

yea but hes worse now than before

Spaceman Spiff said...

mark* berkeley* not starting

Meiz said...

"I know, I'm crazy. But they did put up a fight against a top NFC team last week."



I told you so! LP is drinking the Lions Kool-Aid!

Spaceman Spiff said...

EP thinks the lions can cover some spreads, you think they can win some games

huge gap

Meiz said...

"kodiac said...

is October 3rd the day LOVAD comes back to life?"


I gotta call Time Warner

WOPer Jr. said...

"I told you so! LP is drinking the Lions Kool-Aid!"

settle down, they aint winning 8 games

isiah thompson said...

I think Kiffin is a clown.


Tenn will either win champyunships or be a hot, smoldering, on life support program on probation by the time Kiffin is done.

no inbetween

isiah thompson said...

Mayweather vs. Marquez


Marquez

Money May will blame the loss on ring rust and his balky hands.

isiah thompson said...

how afleets* go broke article looks interesting.

isiah thompson said...

re: Ga Tech

you get that offense down 2 scores and they're done.

isiah thompson said...

re: Jack* Del Homie*


after his playoff debacle you wouldn't expect him to shit the bed again.

this would be his emansky bed shitting performance.

I wouldn't rule out another bed shitting first half followed by the Mark* Moore era starting.

Steve said...

"We respect women," he said. "We know how to treat a lady. The thing they said with the rope? Come on. That's disgusting. That's what we were looked at as: disgusting men."

the rope is disgusting, but running a train with 4 of your buddies in a dorm bathroom is cool?

blue said...

sounds kinda cool

WOPer Jr. said...

if mark moore or aj feely play any qb for the panthers they'll be 6-10 maybe 4-12

and john fox knows this

Steve said...

"sounds kinda cool"


is that how you met cmBlue?

Jugdish said...

the rope is disgusting, but running a train with 4 of your buddies in a dorm bathroom is cool?



train?

/jug

Meiz said...

"Spaceman Spiff said...

shit, meiz got a 1 out hold"



And you know this, maaaann

Meiz said...

"hoping someone hooks up my bud H with some tamiflu

-hammered too"



Kod was freestyling last night?

ToddPacker said...

"is that how you met cmBlue?"

harsh

Steve said...

so Iran has a holiday solely for protesting Israel.

that's a lot of hate.

WOPer Jr. said...

Mark Grace seems like a cool guy

blue said...

maybe it is how i met cmblue...

blue said...

that's an imposter blue

isiah thompson said...

if mark moore or aj feely play any qb for the panthers they'll be 6-10 maybe 4-12

and john fox knows this


As opposed to what with Del Homie?

he ain't getting them much past 8-8, if that.

isiah thompson said...

what's this bathroom ho story y'all talking bout?

ns

Steve said...

5 guys did this one chick in a dorm bathroom, she claimed rape but later recanted when she found there was video.

Steve said...

That’s a lesson for everyone.

When you don't know the chicks first or last name make sure you have proper documentation.

WOPer Jr. said...

"he ain't getting them much past 8-8, if that."

we'll see

Just Plain H said...

"didnt you want to get back with your ex a few weeks ago"

Minor detail

Meiz said...

"settle down, they aint winning 8 games"


You're in denial.

WOPer Jr. said...

No, YOUR in denial.

Meiz said...

The Lions bets were against the spread, right?

Keith S said...

"i want a pussy taco"

I saw a license plate last week that said TRDTACO

ns

Keith S said...

"You're in denial."

Let's up our bet. 1 month for you, 5 years for me

isiah thompson said...

we'll see

you want to throw down a week on a Panthers/Jack* Del Homie* bet?

blue said...

everyong likes jake

Steve said...

I don't follow football much early on, but aren't panthers sporting the best running game in the league and a top 5 or so defense?

blue said...

no and no

Keith S said...

Good deal on 47" LG TV

Keith S said...

Carolina D is always overrated

isiah thompson said...

The latest Rich Rod scandal du jour:

apparently him and/or the coaches took out mortgages from the local bank, the chairman of said bank is the UM AD. Apparently all but 1 load and some lines of credit were sold by the bank. The AD had no clue about it but the paper is screaming "conflict of interest".

there is some seriously ill shit going on up there - former players and/or boosters doing their damndest to undermine Rich Rod and the AD and run them out of town.

fucking retarded

isiah thompson said...

Happy New Year Steve.

tem said...

there are going to be tons of scandals.


you wouldn't believe some of the shit that got swept under the rug at wvu. (for example, its an accepted thought that RR fucks cheerleaders. a lot.)

there will be no such hiding in michigan. all this dirt will come up.

tem said...

also he supposedly does some shady things with the atheltic charity funds.

some charity that helps out the athletics, not sure what it is called, but apparently the funds get appropriated inconsistently a lot.

tem said...

that loan stuff sounds like it isn't a big deal though, i mean, what the fuck does RR have to do with some bank selling his loans?

are the loans below market or something? if they are i don't know why some other bank would buy them.

isiah thompson said...

there will be no such hiding in michigan. all this dirt will come up.


this stuff hasn't been "dirt" though. It's shit that's been leaked to the media from disgruntled former players and/or boosters.

the true "dirt" hasn't come out yet, just this BS.

isiah thompson said...

with the loans, the newspaper is saying the problem is conflict of interest between the bank and it's chairman (UM's AD) and the coaches, because there could possibly be a problem with collecting or something. I didn't read the article, just been tolt*.

Steve said...

"(for example, its an accepted thought that RR fucks cheerleaders. a lot.)"

this should be a perk not a violation.

isiah thompson said...

re: Rich Rod fucking cheerleaders

have you seen pics of his wife, she has some crazy hair, it's a very distinct (read: weird) look.

tem said...

maybe UM cheerleaders are too smart for RR.

tem said...

"she has some crazy hair, it's a very distinct (read: weird) look."

reminds me of Kurt Warner's wife when was winning the SB with the Rams.

it is just weird looking.

isiah thompson said...

UM cheerleaders aren't hot either.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"When you don't know the chicks first or last name make sure you have proper documentation."

dont need name, just age

tem said...

"UM cheerleaders aren't hot either."

can't really say the WVU ones are grate* either.

tem said...

although i don't think he allegedly does them all, just the hot 1 or 2.

isiah thompson said...

I think Kiffin might flake on the post game handshake after his team gets run by 50.

WOPer Jr. said...

gorgin myself on fatburgers onion rings

blue said...

yep

WOPer Jr. said...

"I don't follow football much early on, but aren't panthers sporting the best running game in the league and a top 5 or so defense?"

2nd in the league in rushing last year, top 15 defensively not sure where

WOPer Jr. said...

"you want to throw down a week on a Panthers/Jack* Del Homie* bet?"

yes, record?

isiah thompson said...

yes, record?


sure, it will have to be with JDH starting though.

JDH starting record this season.

if he gets hurt the bet is off.

what do you want to set the over/under at?


I don't think they'll be much better than 8-8 or 9-7 with him starting, are we even that far apart to have a bet?

tem said...

*I think Kiffin might punch Meyer in the face on the post game handshake after his team gets run by 50.


*fixed

WOPer Jr. said...

ok so JDH starts every game and I got over 8 wins which is your opinion, that they will be 8-8

one week

jdh will not get benched, if he does i pay you immediately

*benched because of poor performance

isiah thompson said...

that would be suite, I'm banking on Kiffin doing or saying something stoopd post-game.

tem said...

el pad can make a bet out of anything.

Keith S said...

LP
1 day on FU/UT? You get +29

isiah thompson said...

ok, just to be clear with the details:

8 wins or less I win
9 wins or more you win

JDH gets hurt and doesn't play 16 no bet.

JDH gets benched - here's the part I'm not clear about. Benched for a half, one game, 2 games, etc? - what would constitute immediate bet loss?

isiah thompson said...

and what if JDH starts, get's hurt in the 2nd quarter and the Panthers lose - does this void the bet (say he starts the following week)?

WOPer Jr. said...

"LP
1 day on FU/UT? You get +29"

nigga please

Keith S said...

So yes. Cool

WOPer Jr. said...

"JDH gets benched - here's the part I'm not clear about. Benched for a half, one game, 2 games, etc? - what would constitute immediate bet loss?"

JDH is healthy and is not the starting QB, so if he gets benched 2nd half (like last week) but starts the next week I'm good, if Matt Moore starts and JDH is healthy I'm paying the lady

WOPer Jr. said...

"and what if JDH starts, get's hurt in the 2nd quarter and the Panthers lose - does this void the bet (say he starts the following week)?"

injury clause can be if JDH misses a game bet is off

WOPer Jr. said...

"So yes. Cool"

it's a no-go junior
i aint fucking with that, but would love to see tenn keep it close since everyone is screaming blowout

isiah thompson said...

injury clause can be if JDH misses a game bet is off

OK, what about the benched part?

I don't want any "hdh bet" confusion.

tem said...

this is the most complex bet evar.

tem said...

UFC 103 tomorrow.

I do not recognize 1 of the fighters in the main event.

Wow.

isiah thompson said...

this is the most complex bet evar.


Yep, don't want any "condos's" type confusion.

WOPer Jr. said...

"OK, what about the benched part?"

if jdh gets benched for a game i lose

Meiz said...

HDH Hot sauces(NOT for steaks) finna be at Wine & Harvest Festivus this weekend.

Steve said...

Drunk Redneck gets DUI on lawnmower.


If you have sound, turn it up. Shit is funny.

(and yes, the dude's name is steve)

isiah thompson said...

OK, JDH bet:

8 wins or less I win
9 wins or more you win

if he doesn't start all 16 bet is cancelled.

if he gets benched for a game you lose automatically.

1 week name/pic

Jugdish said...

(and yes, the dude is me)



fixed

Meiz said...

What if JDH gets yanked during during a game they're losing or struggling in?

isiah thompson said...

wasn't there a dui lawn mower story about a year ago? and a drunk motorized bar stooling story also?

isiah thompson said...

What if JDH gets yanked during during a game they're losing or struggling in?

"benched" for this bet means benched as a starter, not in-game.

Meiz said...

"Drunk Redneck gets DUI on lawnmower."


I've seen that. It is indeed hilarious.

isiah thompson said...

Anyone peep game on survivor last night?

some dood was talking about how he lived in the lower 9th ward and couldn't evacuate during katrina and how he had to stay in his attic and he watched his dog die.

and he was lying through his teeth.

it was pretty hilarity

WOPer Jr. said...

good zeke.

Meiz said...

Hardcore Parkour!

Spaceman Spiff said...

"I do not recognize 1 of the fighters in the main event."

you dont know who vitor belfort is?

tem said...

redneck DUI was hilarity.

tem said...

"you dont know who vitor belfort is?"

nope.

not really.

i know he last fought in like UFC 13. that was awhile ago.

Keith S said...

IT'S FRIDAY!!!!! LAST DAY OF WORK!!! I CAN'T STOP USING EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!

Keith S said...

If ND loses to MSU (AHIIK), Weis is gone, right?

WOPer Jr. said...

YES

WOPer Jr. said...

zeke no letdown for mich this weekend right?

WOPer Jr. said...

and i have to agree, it seems as if someone doesnt want him there and are going thru great lengths to do something about it

isiah thompson said...

zeke no letdown for mich this weekend right?

Shouldn't be, Eastern Michigan isn't good.

gonna be a good test for Rich Rod - to see if he can keep his teams "up".

isiah thompson said...

Jimmy Claussen

Keith S said...

"and i have to agree, it seems as if someone doesnt want him there and are going thru great lengths to do something about it"

Seems like that. Maybe the boosters don't like the spread offense.

isiah thompson said...

I think ND smokes Moo U by at least 2 tds.

isiah thompson said...

Seems like that. Maybe the boosters don't like the spread offense.


it's a few former players and boosters with deep pockets who had their feelings hurt when Les Miles didn't get the yob*.

WOPer Jr. said...

thought les miles rejected UM, if anything those boosters should be vandalizing miles lawn

Keith S said...

cmk just emailed me and axed if we could get this dog. I replied with AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, negative

WOPer Jr. said...

keef dont you have a dog?

ToddPacker said...

"LP
1 day on FU/UT? You get +29"

i'll take the bet, keith... gonna be closer than 29... uf 34 tenn 17

Jugdish said...

www.keefskennel.com

Keith S said...

"keef dont you have a dog?"

I hope this is (s)

Keith S said...

"i'll take the bet, keith... gonna be closer than 29... uf 34 tenn 17"

Cool. 1 day

Keith S said...

"www.keefskennel.com"

I don't mind big dogs. Can't stand small dogs

ToddPacker said...

"Cool. 1 day"

done

Meiz said...

Keith has 4 dogs

Meiz said...

And a cockatoo

Keith S said...

"Keith has 4 dogs"

I do?

Keith S said...

blockt

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"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





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