Thursday, August 06, 2009

This post is dedicated to Freak...

Freak has gone MIA. So the call to the bullpen came asking for the fat man. Bobby Jenks was unavailable. So here I am. Thanks for the chance, Freak. I'm pouring some chocolate milk on the concrete in your memory, youngin.

So we found on LOVad that Rev's head is growing. He must be takin 'roids Barry Bonds style. Speaking of steroids...

So Big Papi is on the infamous list. (He's so famous, he's infamous. Name that movie for bonus points.) I can't defend Ortiz. If his name is on that list, his whole career is tainted. Pointblank and period. I love the people who try to use the "he hasn't failed a test since" defense for any steroid guy. People seem to forget one thing. If it wasn't for a disgruntled track coach sending a syringe to federal investigators, we might still not know The Clear existed. Trust me, the next undetectable drug is out there and players are using it.

Funny cab story. I picked a guy up yesterday morning at 10 a.m. And brought him to a VFW. Picked the same guy up at 4 p.m. Obviously he was sauced. I asked if I was taking him home. He said "no, I need you to take me to the crackhouse. I'll show you where it is." NS

I'm done. Comment away.

Disclaimer: all times are EST.

290 comments:

1 – 200 of 290   Newer›   Newest»
Spaceman Spiff said...

suite spot start aitch. you didnt even tear your hamstring in the second inning whilst covering first base

Spaceman Spiff said...

thats what niese gets for spelling his first name with 2 o's

Aitch said...

EP is gonna be mad at you, Spiff. You didn't wait for Beth to comment first.

Beth said...

Any comments before 7 am are fair game to go before me I'd say.

(And personally, instead of Bobby Jenks I'm going to think of you as former Brave Terry Forster.)

Beth said...

Whoa, blogger has tweaked their format a little - clicking on "preview" before posting a comment totally brings it up differently now, in it's own little box.

Steve said...

"Whoa"


Beth is excited easily.

Steve said...

i have never used the preview button, surprise surprise.

Aitch said...

"i have never used the preview button, surprise surprise"

There's a preview button?

/ep

Aitch said...

"former Brave Terry Forster"

::blank stare::

Jugdish said...

Pointblank and period.


might be my new favorite saying for today

Beth said...

""former Brave Terry Forster"
::blank stare::

It was a joke, he played for them in the mid 80's I think but he was pretty portly and Letterman famously picked on him, calling him a "fat tub of goo"

wadr of course :-)

Aitch said...

""fat tub of goo""

Ouch, Beth. Ouch.

Beth said...

No ouch allowed, I said wadr. :-)

Aitch said...

"No ouch allowed, I said wadr. :-)"

You just slipped a few points on my rating system. :-P

Beth said...

Geez, you have your own rating system too? Let me guess, it's based on how much they like your band and how strong their groupie tendencies are.

Jugdish said...

its just based on the size of the girl's rack

Beth said...

"its just based on the size of the girl's rack"

Oh so it's like most guys' rating systems. Got it.

Jugdish said...

correct

blue said...

that tends to be my rating system as well

Aitch said...

Actually groupies lose points with me. There fun to play with, but not girlfriend material.

blue said...

if you're a rockstar, why would you want a girlfriend?

Meiz said...

"i have never used the preview button, surprise surprise."


Me neither

Aitch said...

"if you're a rockstar, why would you want a girlfriend"

Believe it or not it does get old sometimes. I was having rough night last night. Could have used a gf ya know? FBs are fun, but do have a missing element.

Aitch said...

One of our drivers got hit in a parking lot this morning by a drunk driver. Dude must have had a Donté Stallworth type of night to be drunk at 6 a.m.

Aitch said...

I'm rockin "Johnny Cash Radio" on Pandora right now.

Suite

blue said...

"Believe it or not it does get old sometimes. I was having rough night last night. Could have used a gf ya know?"

you were having menstrual cramps?

Meiz said...

Christ. LOVAD died on Home Time?

blue said...

what's an LOVAD?

Aitch said...

"Christ. LOVAD died on Home Time?"

I had to sleep some time.

blue said...

fucking rockies

Aitch said...

I'm sitting at the train station in WALpole, MA

blue said...

no wonder you don't get many fares...it's a lot cheaper to take the train, that's tough competition

blue said...

i was hoping for the best taxi cab confessions stories for aitch's post.

but this is a good start

Aitch said...

if I fuck any of my passengers, you'll be the first to know, Blue.

Jugdish said...

blue, don't ride in any cabs near bahsten anytime soon...you don't want to be "the first" to know

tem said...

passengers won't know you are in a band.

blue said...

"blue, don't ride in any cabs near bahsten anytime soon...you don't want to be "the first" to know"

no doubt

Meiz said...

I can't decide if I have to shit or not

Jugdish said...

I can't decide if I have to shit or not

go sit down in the bathroom and think about it

Meiz said...

I shat

Beth said...

Gee, I can't wait til mize gets on Twitter...

S

Jugdish said...

the shat report

blue said...

we've hit the high point of the day

Meiz said...

I would make it a point to twitpic the views from all the different terlets I use

Jugdish said...

its all downhill from here

Meiz said...

This woman in here has nasty looking bones by her heels.

blue said...

like heel spurs?

Meiz said...

Like her heels are misplaced

Meiz said...

"like heel spurs?"


Yeah. I guess. Its like having ankles on the backs of her feet

Beth said...

"This woman in here has nasty looking bones by her heels."

What were you doing checking out her heels anyway?

Jugdish said...

i just got a suite text message with a pic of a hot naked chick. the message said its National Send your buddy a camel toe pic for good luck day.

i like this day

Meiz said...

"What were you doing checking out her heels anyway?"


She's hot. Had to go with the full up & down.

Aitch said...

Passengers ask about the tattoo on my arm. Leads to the band conversation. Done and done.

Meiz said...

"What were you doing checking out her heels anyway?"


We don't just stare at your bazooms

Aitch said...

Speaking of which, you getting anymore ink done tem?

Aitch said...

"We don't just stare at your bazooms"

That's right!

Gotta check out the ass & legs too.

Aitch said...

Maybe Freak's parents grounded him and he can't use the computer...

Meiz said...

I like to have an idea of how she might look with her legs wrapped around my neck. Prime for the jackhammer.




Okay. I'm done.

Jugdish said...

can't have those weird heel bones digging into your neck

ToddPacker said...

crackhouse stories are the better... nice work, h

Meiz said...

"Maybe Freak's parents grounded him and he can't use the computer..."


I was gonna make this comment yesterday, but I kept forgetting.

Meiz said...

There's also the outside chance that Freak's on the Cubs now.

Beth said...

"She's hot. Had to go with the full up & down."

But the real question is, how would she rate on the Tem Scale?

Jugdish said...

There's also the outside chance that Freak's on the Cubs now.


he kind of looks like a white geovany soto

Spaceman Spiff said...

i think freaks made a fmlb move since his last post though

Meiz said...

"But the real question is, how would she rate on the Tem Scale?"


7.12 maybe 7.13

Tall drink of water

Keith S said...

"There fun to play with"


Atta boy

ToddPacker said...

But the real question is, how would she rate on the Temscale™

*fixed

Keith S said...

GOLF PRICKS

tem said...

"Speaking of which, you getting anymore ink done tem?"

no, i don't think so.

although they are addicting. i'm going to try to keep it at just the one.

Meiz said...

GOLF PRICKS are past due

tem said...

prick this, retard.

tem said...

HUNGRY

tem said...

by the by good post H.

Keith S said...

Don't walk that way

Keith S said...

Suite

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

that guys has the heart of a champion

Beth said...

RE: "dont walk that way"

Hilarity on the link caption.

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

reyes is done for the year

blue said...

so are the mess

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

i cant even remember ever having a team with that many injuries

like serious

luis castillo sprains his ankle walking down the stairs?

really?

isiah thompson said...

H do you rock the same cab everyday or does it switch up?

Also do you rock the bad guido cologn air freshner that Vegas cabs use?

please advice

blue said...

do you sometimes pretend to speak hindu and wear a towel on your head

blue said...

Lou Holtz won't run for congress.

this made me laugh apopectically

Jugdish said...

do you play tapes or cds of new day rising in the cab at all times?

tem said...

"apopectically"

not sure if that is < or > D-.

Either way it is not = to* D-

blue said...

i have no idea what it means...but i used it

and that's what counts

blue said...

ap⋅o⋅plex⋅y
1. stroke (def. 6).
2. a sudden, usually marked loss of bodily function due to rupture or occlusion of a blood vessel.
3. a hemorrhage into an organ cavity or tissue.


so i guess i used it right...good for me

blue said...

i guess the word i meant to type was apoplectically

blue said...

forget the l

tem said...

never forget the L.

Keith S said...

"i cant even remember ever having a team with that many injuries"


Really? Usually you're pretty good at remembering things

tem said...

all the pirates opening day starters except one must be hurt because they never play anymore.

Aitch said...

"Atta boy"

Is that due to the hdh or the philosophy?

Jugdish said...

all the pirates opening day starters except one must be hurt because they never play anymore.


they are off sailing...in somolia

tem said...

can't it be both?

Keith S said...

"Is that due to the hdh or the philosophy?"

I'll let you guess

Jugdish said...

H...do you have a handle on the CB, or do you go by cab number?

Aitch said...

Same car every day. No air freshener. I keep a can of Oust™ in the glovebox

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"Really? Usually you're pretty good at remembering things"

I pay tention to spurts

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

zeke whats my name for tw?

Keith S said...

"I pay tention to spurts"

I bet you do

Jugdish said...

might have a part time weekend yob doing some installs for an internet company...suite

the cool thing is the name of the company is skynet

Aitch said...

Cab number on the CB.

Jugdish said...

what is your cab number?

Keith S said...

666

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"the cool thing is the name of the company is skynet"

AWESOME, when you leave after installing things turn and say

"I'll be back".

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

GI joe looks awful

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

they aint showing it to critics

yikes

Spaceman Spiff said...

"reyes is done for the year"

L Padrino

Spaceman Spiff said...

LP,

zekes name for you is

Willow

pic here

NS

Jugdish said...

he also wants you to be on the lookout for name changes throughout the day

Keith S said...

paying attention pays off

blue said...

GI joe will be awful

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

you have no idea how busy i've been if you think i never paid attention before lately it has been worse

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

daily stace guy is on my back, relax buddy i dont just post shit to post shit, when i have something to say and have time to write it you'll know

fat fcuk

blue said...

office manager is cleaning out the fridge today...she tolt me she would show "no mercy"

me: No Mercy, sweep the leg


her: ::blank stare::

blue said...

"daily stace guy is on my back, relax buddy i dont just post shit to post shit, when i have something to say and have time to write it you'll know"

mess won 9-0


there's a post

blue said...

reyes out for the rest of the year


another post

blue said...

niese injured his labia


another post

Keith S said...

mess won

there's a post



*fized

Steve said...

Willow pic is bad ass.


I forgot all about that movie.

Steve said...

"GI joe will be awful"

I think it's gonna be like The Fast and the Furious.

not at all a good movie, yet strangely watchable.

Jugdish said...

rev plays destro...with a big, silver melon

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"Adviser: 49ers' Crabtree ready to sit out season"

fool

Keith S said...

Hilarity

Beth said...

At least Whitlock is aware that his Jeff George columns open him up to ridicule.

Meiz said...

I can save almost $300 with Geico. Allegedly.

Keith S said...

1-800-SAFE-AUTO

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

not a bad point though, jeff george running the scout team and whatnot

tem said...

"I pay tention to spurts"


tention is how he says it, so it isn't HDH.

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

did that on purpose, like spurts

Keith S said...

I only talk about dong in spurts

/ep

Keith S said...

You don't have to save that address any more, LP

ToddPacker said...

"You don't have to save that address any more, LP"

that sucks, keith

ns

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"You don't have to save that address any more, LP"

that pool sucked anyway, keep ya head up

blue said...

well, you wanted a diving pool anyway

blue said...

that's a pool i2i

rare but dignified...like my johnson.

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

you know your a douche when instead of your out of office saying "out for 2 weeks please contact blah blah"

it reads,

On Holiday off the coast of Spain, will return 24th of August.

Keith S said...

Well you can save it, and mail them a shit package if you want

blue said...

real estate times be tough yo

tem said...

he'll mail them a spurt

Keith S said...

maybe I'll just buy a house in myrtle beach

blue said...

wft is "on holiday"

holidays are like christmas and shit unless you're a douche.

vacation is not holiday fucker

blue said...

"maybe I'll just buy a house in myrtle beach"

we could hang out

Keith S said...

"we could hang out"

OK but don't bring the kid over

blue said...

i repete again

fuck the rockies

Keith S said...

When I first came in this morning there was a banner hanging above some guy's office saying "Your a grate boss". It's not hanging there anymore.

ns

tem said...

by a house in columbus.

for $240k you can get a sweet as. house.

tem said...

""Your a grate boss"."

amazing.

Keith S said...

"for $240k you can get a sweet as. house."

In a few years we'll be back in the midwest. Not yet, though.

tem said...

maybe they meant that the sign was for bossing around grates.


so it was his sign to boss around grates.

your grate boss sign.

tem said...

"In a few years we'll be back in the midwest. "

was cmk ever from/in the midwest?

Keith S said...

She's from Chicago area

Keith S said...

all her family still lives there

tem said...

i did not know that, although i might have been told

Keith S said...

even LP knew that


s

Spaceman Spiff said...

forgetting to change the lineup stings the nostrils

Spaceman Spiff said...

used leftover pork tenderloin for a sandwich

DET

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

why not now keef

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

naperville is lovely

Keith S said...

Not ready to do it yet.

Keith S said...

We'll have kids and have grandparents around to watch them during the first couple years. Move back east when they're school age.

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

that's not even close to an answer, i'd rather you say none of your business shortstack and move on

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

that was a response to your first comment

Meiz said...

Naperville is outrageously priced

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"even LP knew that


s"

i did know this btw

nS

Meiz said...

Move to Gary. Cheap cheap cheap

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

tem has a little el p in him when it comes to remembering shit

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"Move to Gary. Cheap cheap cheap"

jackson 5

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

look how they turned out

ESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Meiz said...

"tem has a little el p in him when it comes to remembering shit"


Tem's old, though.

Keith S said...

I would only move to Chicago because they have the best pizza

Keith S said...

"i did know this btw

nS"

I wasn't sure if it was common nollidge* or not.

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"I would only move to Chicago because they have the best pizza"

you forgot the S

blue said...

i gnu she was a cubs fan

Keith S said...

"you forgot the S"

Yes. And the N

Keith S said...

LP would move to Chicago because they have the best hot dogs

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"LP would move to Chicago because they have the best hot dogs"

forgot the s again chico

Keith S said...

I know. My N & S keys aren't working

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

your N is fine, i think the S is broke

blue said...

Jay Cutler is a fucking dipshit

talk about being a shithole prick..but fuck c'mon grow up and quit taking shots and Denver and their fans.

what a fucking crybaby moron.

Keith S said...

blew is pisst

blue said...

i just hate that cutler shitprick

Keith S said...

blew must have forgot about the sticks & stones saying

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

so get this, dunkin donuts and doosh bank have teamed up in a partnership relating to the DB Championship (golf) tourney thing

so they have gift cards with DB logo and whatnot

on the right hand corner of the card, printed in clear letters are

EMPLOYEE NAMES

no joke, must be a huge error right, guy just went there and put $5 on gollum's name, he's going to be pissed, and i'm actively searching D&D's for my name

Keith S said...

::slam dunk::

ToddPacker said...

that^

isiah thompson said...

no joke, must be a huge error right, guy just went there and put $5 on gollum's name, he's going to be pissed, and i'm actively searching D&D's for my name

they'll prob. look at you and let you order off the kids menu so you can save loot-cake and stretch that gift card out more.

isiah thompson said...

"does your daddy know you took his gift card Squirt?"

Meiz said...

"no joke, must be a huge error right, guy just went there and put $5 on gollum's name, he's going to be pissed, and i'm actively searching D&D's for my name"


This needs explained.

I can just walk into DD & put my order on your name? Suite. You can kiss escaping debt goodbye

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

your all missing the point

these are gift cards that Dunkin donuts is selling

with random doosh bank employee names already on there

they cant use our name to advertise

isiah thompson said...

"your all missing the point

these are gift cards that Dunkin donuts is selling

with random doosh bank employee names already on there

they cant use our name to advertise"


I don't get it - what's this got to do with dong?

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

awaiting corp security email

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

nice tits

Meiz said...

"your all missing the point

these are gift cards that Dunkin donuts is selling

with random doosh bank employee names already on there

they cant use our name to advertise"


So I can't make you pay for my dog nuts?

isiah thompson said...

nice tits


immaculate

isiah thompson said...

her children will be well fed

isiah thompson said...

block

isiah thompson said...

bold

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