Monday, August 03, 2009

ROMANCE! Look it up!

Tiger Woo, ya'll. On Thursday, this comment was made here towards the end of Tiger's first round: "tiger woo might miss another cut". Then he comes out and shoots -18 over the next 3 rounds and wins by 3 shots. I feel pretty secure in saying that there is probably not another golfer out there who people think could miss the cut, then dominate in a way that he doesn't even need to try on his last few holes of the tourney. Tiger missing the cut in The Open was bad news for the rest of the Tour. Last time he missed a cut (the US Open after his dad died), he finished 2nd in the next tourney and then won 7 in a row. This time he blew right past the 2nd place and has already started the streak of 7 in a row.

I guess Clifton was a good pickup for the Phils. I didn't realize, but they are a lefty loaded team, bolth* pitching and hitting. I fucking hate them and don't need to see any more of rev being insufferable, but I don't know of another team that has more talent than they do right now. That doesn't mean I think they'll win it all. Their bullpen is still shaky. They lost 2 of 3 to the Giants this weekend, but SF has been playing pretty well. If SF makes the playoffs (AHIIK), they'll be a tough matchup because they have 3 pretty solid starters and they've got a solid manager. The last 2 months of the season should be pretty suite. The NL Central & WC race will be tight. I dunno if anyone can catch Philly in the East. And all 3 AL races should be exciting.

Apparently it's all a joke now

Cmk & I went and saw Funny People this weekend. I wasn't especting* much going in. I had heard that it was a serious movie for Apatow, but I thought it was pretty goddman funny. The movie was too long, 2 1/2 hours. And the last 30 minutes brought down the level of the movie. But overall, I think it was a pretty solid movie. 3.5 out of 5 helmet stickers.

Comedy Central Roasts are the better. Right now I'm watching the most outrageous moments from the Roasts, and there is some funny shit. Watching Betty White say "cock ring" is pretty hilarity. It's weird that most of the people up on the dais are marginally talented comedians but when they're allowed free rain* to rank of people with unlimited profanities, all of a sudden they're hilarity. The only thing I don't understand is that Comedy Central bleeps out "fuck" but "shit" is ok. Fuck, they just showed Dane Cook roasting someone. This show just got ratarded. But they keep showing Pamela Anderson wearing a shirt that you can see bolth* of her nipples right through it.

Zeke will be happy to know that there's a new season of Real & Chance on VH1 that starts tonight. That is one of my favorite VH1 reality shows. Tonight I tried watching Megan Wants a Millionaire. Holy shit, what a plane wreck into a skyscraper that show is. 10 supremely awkward douchebags who happen to have money. None of them have any social skills whatsoever. You would think that you'd kind of need that in order to become a multimillionaire. Unless they're all computer or internets geeks. I didn't pay enough attention to it to see what they did. But I'll probably continue to watch it. I'm not scared.

So apparently the supreme leader in Iran just has to say "go" and they'll put together a nuclear bomb and blow up the world. I hope he doesn't say yes. I don't want shit to blow up. Unless it's after me, my kids, & their kids are dead. But by that time, the guy who has to give it the go ahead will probably be dead.

This is hilarity. What balls she has. If you're depending on your alma mater to find a job for you, then maybe you should give the diploma back to them.

I was gonna write more, but this is already probably too many scrolls. So go comment.

329 comments:

1 – 200 of 329   Newer›   Newest»
Aitch said...

Solid post

tem said...

"what a plane wreck into a skyscraper that show is."


i fail to see the humor in this.

/L p

Beth said...

I can't believe the week I was on vacation (Florida, not Hilton Head btw) TJW shows up.

But damn is it good to be back at work!!!!

s

Beth said...

Did I miss anything important? I just found out this morning that LaRoche is apparently a Brave again. WFT?

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

way to set the bar high for the week

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"Did I miss anything important? I just found out this morning that LaRoche is apparently a Brave again. WFT?"

You missed me.

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"what a plane wreck into a skyscraper that show is."

seriously this is not funny
tell this joke to giuliani and he'd choke you out with a wifebeater

Beth said...

"You missed me."

You know I actually DID think of you while on vacation. It was when I saw this guy in Key West who was maybe 5 feet tall. :-)

NS

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"You know I actually DID think of you while on vacation. It was when I saw this guy in Key West who was maybe 5 feet tall. :-)

NS"

bitch

wadr

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

I'm NOT SHORT!

I'm AVERAGE HEIGHT. EVEN THE BIBLE SAYS SO!

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

movies i caught up on

pineapple express = funny
step brothers = hilarity
Untraceable = creepy

movies i saw again for the 700th time

bad boys = still great
MIKE LOOOOWWWWRREEEYYY

My cousin vinny = could watch that movie all day

Beth said...

"bitch"

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

fill up my cup

mazel tovh

Beth said...

I thought of H too. When we were leaving the hotel yesterday the cabbie we took said "you saved my morning" and then bitched most of the trip about how slow things have been. Normally I might have been "quit whining" but this time I had sympathy. (Seriously, a $32 fare for the 4 of us "saved" his morning? Yikes.)

tem said...

maybe your boob was hanging out.

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

Meiz drove you to the airport?

Beth said...

"maybe your boob was hanging out"

If it was then I shouldn't have tipped him cause that's worth more than any amount of money.

tem said...

where did you go in FL?

tem said...

you might have missed freak quitting.

tem said...

and you might have missed that i got a tattoo.

tem said...

and you might have missed as. not be an as. for a week...pretty much at least.

tem said...

you might have missed deke get a new car.

tem said...

and you might have missed jug motorboat some titties.

tem said...

and you might have missed kod planning to go to africa to help one of his kids adopt a baby.

tem said...

and you might have missed spiff refer to his chick as fmspiff and L pad freak out.

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

you missed alot

tem said...

you might have missed that el pad has size 12 shoes, so he is shaped like an L.

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"and you might have missed that i got a tattoo."

get the fuck out

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"you might have missed that el pad has size 12 shoes, so he is shaped like an L."

actually a broken E if you think about it

tem said...

"actually a broken E if you think about it"

ISWYDT

tem said...

"get the fuck out"

NFW did you miss this.

Beth said...

Damn, I DID miss a lot. How much of that is actually true? What tattoo did you get and where? What kind of car did Mize get? Did freak quit LOV completely or just posting on Thursdays?

And I went with 3 friends (no FMbeth) to Disney (yeah, I have to admit I still like going there as an "adult") and then a few days in Key West. It was a great "Girls Week Out".

ToddPacker said...

"And I went with 3 friends (no FMbeth) to Disney "

magic kingdom or did you hit any of the other parks?

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"NFW did you miss this."

I am shamed but i do vageuly remember something like on your ankle?

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

I ♥ disney

ToddPacker said...

going to green day tonight... (insert "old man at green day concert" joke or green day sucks joke)

tem said...

"How much of that is actually true?"

i believe all of it

What tattoo did you get and where?

dragon on my ankle

What kind of car did Mize get?

chevy aveo i think.

Did freak quit LOV completely or just posting on Thursdays?

don't know. thursday post said he might go on hiatus and i don't think he has posted since.

tem said...

green day sucks.

ToddPacker said...

tem ♥ dragons?

tem said...

and you might have missed that keith is buying a house.

tem said...

♥ is a strong word, but sure.

blue said...

and you might have missed that blue is buying a condo in myrtle beach

blue said...

because it is better than hilton head

tem said...

it is not.

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

dragon

pic?

tem said...

this pic will have to do (new profile pic)

tem said...

i don't know how to use photo bucket ot whatever it is called.

Beth said...

Wow, that's some tattoo. Good to know that you still have some WAVA in you. (wadr)

Beth said...

Blue, you have been to Myrtle Beach, right? I hope you don't mind vacationing with rednecks. :-)

Beth said...

"magic kingdom or did you hit any of the other parks?"

Oh we did it up right. Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, EPCOT and both water parks - all in 5 days but we were quite selective on what rides we went on and skipped all the shows. But that's why we needed Key West for drinking and rest and ADULTS.

blue said...

Blue, you have been to Myrtle Beach, right? I hope you don't mind vacationing with rednecks. :-)


yep, i've been there, it's alright

the point is there is more to do for kids

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

that's a cankle

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

and it's summer now tem, you can take some sun on those pins ya know

blue said...

"and it's summer now tem, you can take some sun on those pins ya know"


dude, give him a break, he just got back from the beach

tem said...

i am either white or red.

no inbetween.


i'm irish, not eye short ian.

tem said...

"Good to know that you still have some WAVA in you. "

ohio can't get rid of my wava.

Beth said...

"yep, i've been there, it's alright"

I'm just giving you grief, I've been there and it's not bad at all. I remember doing that slingshot thing and screaming like a 12 year old girl.

tem said...

"that's a cankle"

it is swollen up from getting a tattoo numbnuts.

blue said...

yeah, plus they have rollercoasters and shit...and places there are super cheap.

and you can fly directly into MB as opposed to HH where you have to fly near there and drive.

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"it is swollen up from getting a tattoo numbnuts."

yeah and i'm tall

blue said...

saw funny people...would agree with keith's review...some really funny shit, some not so funny shit where they tried too hard...and all and all too long..

they could have cut the eric bana part out of the movie or at least cut it down by 20 minutes.

blue said...

adam sandler was good, he's the next tom hanks...or maybe not, but he can transition to a serious actor...just needs to play a retard or a gay dude with aids to be taken seriously

tem said...

"yeah and i'm tall"

well at least you are admitting that you are short.

tem said...

maybe he can play a gay ratard with aids.

tem said...

gay ratard with aids has oscar written all over it.

tem said...

"and you can fly directly into MB as opposed to HH where you have to fly near there and drive."

HH has an airport.

tem said...

my dad always flys right onto the island.

delta and some other airline run flights to there about 3 or 4 times a day.

blue said...

"HH has an airport."

i don't have a private jet

blue said...

ok, let me rephrase, you can fly to MB cheap

blue said...

is there a ripley's believe it or not museum at HH? is there a NASCAR go-cart place with like 10 different tracks?

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

Ripley's puts it over the top

blue said...

eggsactl

blue said...

good to see that beanie wells made it through his first practice without getting injured (s)

surprise surprise

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

mad 1st round picks not singed, something like 3-19 give or take

ToddPacker said...

not a fan of the dragon tat, wadr. you should have got an underdog/major tat

tem said...

" 3-19 "

you mean picks 3 through 19 or do you mean somewhere between 3 and 19 picks aren't signed?

tem said...

"you should have got an underdog/major tat"

too many colors, they cost more.

tem said...

also it is possible that undermaj is on my as.

blue said...

neitehr of broncos picks signed although ayers is already slotted because the guy in front of him (freeman) signed, and the guy behind him signed...so what's the fucking holdup.

blue said...

ayers wants money like Josh Freeman got without thinking about the fact dude is a QB.

ToddPacker said...

"also it is possible that undermaj is on my as."

hilarious

tem said...

beanie injury is hilarious.

still making fun of tOSU people.

ToddPacker said...

"still making fun of tOSU people."

i'm not sure if i have ever made fun tOSU people



S

Meiz said...

EP is hilarious.

You might be my hero at this point.

blue said...

how the new whip mize

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"you mean picks 3 through 19 or do you mean somewhere between 3 and 19 picks aren't signed?"

like somewhere, like a few have signed but large % did not

blue said...

somwhere between 3 and 19 is a big discrepancy...way to go out on a limb there.

Keith S said...

"seriously this is not funny
tell this joke to giuliani and he'd choke you out with a wifebeater"


So if I would have said train wreck, that would have been funnier. Because train wrecks are funny, right?

Keith S said...

blue
I need my name/pic for 3 comments since Cincy forgot to show up. Even though the games were at home

Keith S said...

"Did I miss anything important?"


I can't believe this wasn't mentioned yet, but EP lost a "I can't go a day without misspelling something" bet

Keith S said...

"fill up my cup

mazel tovh"


Black Eyed Peas are the worse. And it's terrible that I knew what you were signing*

tem said...

yes, my bad on the L pad lost bet. i forgot.

tem said...

HUNGRY

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"So if I would have said train wreck, that would have been funnier. Because train wrecks are funny, right?"

train wrecks dont murder 3000 people

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"Black Eyed Peas are the worse. And it's terrible that I knew what you were signing*"

didnt even know they sang that, in fact the other song, boom boom pow didnt know they sang that until a month after that shit was all over

Keith S said...

Hilarity implosion

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

keef agrees, rap is dead

Keith S said...

"train wrecks dont murder 3000 people"

Yeah. More people probably die in train wrecks that from planes hitting buildings

Keith S said...

*than

blue said...

not bruce willis

blue said...

cincy has a AAAA squad out there right now...

other than votto didn't know one dude on the team.

Meiz said...

"how the new whip mize"


Fantastic

Meiz said...

I actually drove on the freeway.

blue said...

big tymer

Beth said...

"I can't believe this wasn't mentioned yet, but EP lost a "I can't go a day without misspelling something" bet"

I'm assuming you meant EP bet that he COULD go a day without misspelling something. I can't believe he actually thought he had a chance of winning that. Oh wait, it's EP, of course he thought he could win that, he thinks he can do everything. (wadr)

Keith S said...

He even had 3 chances. It was over before noon

Keith S said...

He tried to weasel out of it, though. Goddman weasels

blue said...

i see mr as. is back

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"He tried to weasel out of it, though. Goddman weasels"

this is untrue and the comments prove it

is this were court i'd sue you for defamation and take your house and shit in it and then shit in the pool

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"I'm assuming you meant EP bet that he COULD go a day without misspelling something. I can't believe he actually thought he had a chance of winning that. Oh wait, it's EP, of course he thought he could win that, he thinks he can do everything. (wadr)"

and it was HDH, not just spelling so i said

"miami condo's are like 75% off"

and then i lost.

btw, ftr, aja, i think i can do it again and might, just need some practice

Beth said...

"i see mr as. is back"

I find it hard to believe he was ever gone.

Keith S said...

Practice?

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"I find it hard to believe he was ever gone."

i didnt notice

Keith S said...

Isn't that what elementary school was for?

Beth said...

"miami condo's are like 75% off"

Wait, did you try to argue against this being HDH? If so then I have to agree, you did try to weasel out of it.

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"Practice?"

yeah, re-train myself to not type what i would say or what pops into my head first

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"Isn't that what elementary school was for?"

that was like 20 years ago bro

you know how much weed i used to smoke?

Keith S said...

"yeah, re-train myself to not type what i would say or what pops into my head first"

Ah, so pay attention. Got it

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"Wait, did you try to argue against this being HDH? If so then I have to agree, you did try to weasel out of it."

read the day and decide for yourself, i never argued or tried to out of anything

Keith S said...

"Wait, did you try to argue against this being HDH? If so then I have to agree, you did try to weasel out of it."


Also said something like "taste like ass" and tried to argue that he doesn't say "tastes" in real life so it's not HDH

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"Ah, so pay attention. Got it"

right.

Beth said...

"you know how much weed i used to smoke?"

You were smoking dope in elementary school? Damn, I guess it is true then that pot stunts your growth.

Keith S said...

He wasn't being a weasel. It's just fun riling him up

ToddPacker said...

i think ep argued "taste" vs "tastes" a little bit

Keith S said...

"Damn, I guess it is true then that pot stunts your growth."

oh shit

blue said...

can beth guess who bet with LP on the HDH bet?

Keith S said...

"i think ep argued "taste" vs "tastes" a little bit"


Todd padrino

s

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"Also said something like "taste like ass" and tried to argue that he doesn't say "tastes" in real life so it's not HDH"

guilty, but didnt not want to pay the bet if you decided otherwise

ToddPacker said...

"Todd padrino"

thank you

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"You were smoking dope in elementary school? Damn, I guess it is true then that pot stunts your growth."

no, junior high silly

Beth said...

"can beth guess who bet with LP on the HDH bet?"

I'd guess either Mr. As. or in the ultimate twist of irony Steve.

(And iswydt there using "LP".)

Keith S said...

"I'd guess either Mr. As. or in the ultimate twist of irony Steve."

Steve v. EP bet would be hilarity. Who can last longer w/o HDH? But steve did think EP would do it, so he made a bet w/ zeke

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"Steve v. EP bet would be hilarity. Who can last longer w/o HDH? But steve did think EP would do it, so he made a bet w/ zeke"

hence, ratard

blue said...

Steve is the guy who bets on the underdog because everyone is taking the favorite, even if it's a "sure thing"

Dick and Dubya finished on my mom's face said...

"Steve v. EP bet would be hilarity"

i would destroy EP.

if you take away all his 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances, he didn't make it past 10. i guess it's hard to type while balancing on the booster chair.

blue said...

keith your name is "i like how LP's ass taste"

you can keep your pic

Dick and Dubya finished on my mom's face said...

Alba is back

Praise Jesus

blue said...

where the hell is her kid?

Dick and Dubya finished on my mom's face said...

"where the hell is her kid?"


i give you alba's ass in a bikini. and you ask about her parenting skills.


married people are strange.

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

mmmm good

blue said...

you wanna have a kid, you take that kid to the beach

blue said...

celebrities suck

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

nanny prolly watching the kid on the sand

i like how LP's ass taste said...

Taste* like petroleum jelly

i like how LP's ass taste said...

Alba has jumped the shark

ns

i like how LP's ass taste said...

"i would destroy EP."

I smell a bet

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

wft couldnt set my roster why the fuck is tampa and kc playing a game this early

Spaceman Spiff said...

noon EST on a workday is early ?

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

for beisbol yeah, normally 1:05 the earliest

Keith S said...

Mess losing 2/3 to the Dbags is hilarity

tem said...

mess are hilarity.


*fized

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

gotta win tonight to avoid a name change

tem said...

soon it is time for lunch wall.

isiah thompson said...

Mess losing 2/3 to the Dbags is hilarity

please don't jinz* it

isiah thompson said...

Beth was there any "indiscretions" on your vacation?

blue said...

she cheated on fmbeth, no doubt

Keith S said...

"please don't jinz* it"

Didn't realize it was a 4 game series

blue said...

but it doesn't count because it was with a chick

isiah thompson said...

I think if the bet with EP was that he could go a day without having a "true" hdh then I think he could do it.

but a day without true HDH, mis-spelting's*, etc - no chance.

isiah thompson said...

I don't think Beth would cheat. I bet the worst she did was a little bump-n-grind on the dance flow*.

isiah thompson said...

peeped game on Push and Horsemen on ppv this weekend, bolth* were decent enough.

tem said...

"Push and Horsemen"


::taco supreme::

Meiz said...

Now I want Taco Bell

Beth said...

"I don't think Beth would cheat. I bet the worst she did was a little bump-n-grind on the dance flow*."

It's a bit scary how accurate this is.

NS

ToddPacker said...

"Now I want Taco Bell"

i just had some taco bell... cheesy double beef burrito = good stuff

ToddPacker said...

"It's a bit scary how accurate this is"

zeke knows beth

isiah thompson said...

I peeped game on a little of the Meagan Millionaire show and HOTDAMN her body is smoking. Like keef said though some of those doods were weird.

ToddPacker said...

meyer is getting richer

Aitch said...

"it is swollen up from getting a tattoo numbnuts"

Um, I don't think that's normal, tem. None of mine got swollen.

isiah thompson said...

he's worth every penny

"Against the Gators' four biggest rivals -- Georgia, Florida State, Miami and Tennessee -- he's 12-1."

Aitch said...

"i'm irish, not eye short ian."

ISWYDT and it is hilarity

ToddPacker said...

"Against the Gators' four biggest rivals -- Georgia, Florida State, Miami and Tennessee -- he's 12-1."


it helps that FSU, Tenn and Miami have been down a little in the past 4 years

ToddPacker said...

"eye short ian"

yeah, that was funny

isiah thompson said...

you wouldn't have all that champyunship j-wear without Urban.

Keith S said...

"I peeped game on a little of the Meagan Millionaire show and HOTDAMN her body is smoking."

Yeah, body is tight. Butter face

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

not that i care but her tits are redonk but fake, jus sayin

also i take great interest in trying to guess what kind of box she'd have and i'd say she has tiny labia, very compact, bald and i bet it taste a little bit like 2 day old cheesepie which i'm not sayin is a bad thing

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

alot of times you can tell what a womans twat looks like based on facial features

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

don't ask, it's a gift

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

when is the white rapper coming back and why hasn't John Brown dropped a album yet

fuck myspace shit i want an LP

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

and what happened to $hamrock, did he drop an album

isiah thompson said...

there are nekkid pics of Meagan out there.

isiah thompson said...

I hope they bring back the real white rapper show and don't do a ratared* spinoff like the female version they did last time.

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"there are nekkid pics of Meagan out there."

playboy i think, they dont have scratch and sniff though

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

if i marketed, sold a Vagina candle would you buy it?

isiah thompson said...

I'd put it next to my weed scented candle.

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

pussy and weed

great combo

Aitch said...

Beth, what exactly do you consider cheating when it is with another woman?

blue said...

"if i marketed, sold a Vagina candle would you buy it?"

yep, and i'd eat a footlong mozz stick too

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

no such thing h

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

"yep, and i'd eat a footlong mozz stick too"

BOOM

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

He works out every day. Gathers strength in his right hand by squeezing Silly Putty. Twice a week, it's speech therapy. "Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr," he says, mimicking one of the tongue exercises, then moving his tongue side to side, cheek to cheek. "When I first started I felt my tongue weighed 80 pounds. And I slobbered. I'm getting better at that. I'm trying to get the brain to realize that you can do this."


Lee Corso

isiah thompson said...

Lee Corso


espn needs to put Corso and Holth on a show together.

isiah thompson said...

the thing that excites me about Gameday this year is that Corso just might impale himself on that pencil as he's going down when the stroke hits.

Beth said...

"Beth, what exactly do you consider cheating when it is with another woman?"

Hmmmm, good question. I'd have to say it's a totally different ballgame if it's another woman and the standards are much more relaxed. Not sure I have a set litmus test or anything.

isiah thompson said...

would you say it's as soon as anything other that face lips touch?

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

i'd say no such thing

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

because really it's just masturbating together

Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

i guess oral sex but that's questionable in my opinon

tem said...

"Um, I don't think that's normal, tem. None of mine got swollen."

sure they did. they swell a little.

tem said...

block

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