Monday, August 24, 2009

Mess are the worse

I did not think I was going to be able to post tonight because my dog chewed the power cord for my laptop in half. I emailed mize from my phone to have someone else post. But I got home from softball tonight and realized I have some electrical tape, so I used my science skillz and spliced the cord and taped it up and voila, good as bnew.

From last night....
The Rev said...
First time in MLB history that a game has ended on an unassisted triple play.

Or not. Rev shamforded that one. *ahem* IN DE FACE, REV! But the play was pretty suite, and it happening against the Mess this year just rubs a little hot sauce (just an ounce) in LP's wound.

I was out of town all weekend, so I didn't see any fooyball. I heard today that some punters were kicking footballs off the scoreboard in Dallas and Jerry Jones was pisst or something. I got stupid drunk on Saturday with an afternoon of golf and spending the evening in an area known as Whiskey Row. But I didn't puke. I almost did, but fought through it. Me & 5 buddies ran up about a $300 bar tab. And every time we did a shot, the server we had did the shot with us. She was fucked up at the end of the night. She made up some shot to give us that was pretty suite. Midori, Malibu rum, pineapple juice, with a layer of Jager on top. I recommend it for everyone. I'm not a huge Jager fan, but this shit was pretty tasty. Our server called the shot a Masturbating Butterfly. WADR to Beth, this chick is the best waitress in the world. She had at least 1 drink in front of us the entire night. Didn't have to ask for a refill once. We hook her up with a suite tip every year when we go so she makes sure that we're always over-served. Here we are on about our 4th round.


Dude from Megan Wants a Millionaire apparently thought he was a jacket. Police found him hanging in a closet at a hotel. When will people learn? Hopefully he didn't have a cable tied around his nuts. And by the way, NFW that chick he kilt was a supermodel. Her face is pretty beat. Unless all the pics they show on the news stories are of how she looks now. That would be pretty cool. I still think it's awesome that since her fingers and teeth were gone, they identified her body by the serial numbers on her breast implants. I didn't even know those things has serial numbers.

Softball temchallenge update: 2-2 with a sac fly and a walk, 3 RBI. For the season (2 games) 5 for 6.

That is all. I need to sleep.

416 comments:

1 – 200 of 416   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

Well I hope the "suite tip" you gave your waitress was at least 25% after all that. She even had the girls nice and perky for you too it looks like.

Beth said...

And keith, let me go ahead and congratulate you now on your fantasy golf league win. Still 4 weeks to go and you had it locked up weeks ago - I'm impressed.

ns

Beth said...

I could pull a tem and go on a run while no one is around to stop me, but it takes a little more than that to amuse me.

wadr to tem of course

Aitch said...

She was a bikini model. No one was looking at her face.

Aitch said...

Beth's run ended at 3. Not impressive at all.

Aitch said...

A friend of mine was telling me that she met a guy last week and he's already loaned her his truck, gave her the key to his house, $100 bucks to spend on Saturday and has dropped the L word. Wow. Desperate much?

Aitch said...

Beckett looked good last night...

Aitch said...

I, like Beth, do not have the energy nor the inclination to go on a run.

Aitch said...

I got two hours of sleep.

Woe.

Aitch said...

Fucking John Smoltz. Where did that outing come from?

Aitch said...

Somebody stop me

Aitch said...

Hi Freak! (in case he's lurking)

Aitch said...

I hate waiting for customers. If you schedule a cab for 8, why is it so difficult to come out on time

Beth said...

"Somebody stop me"

Done.

Beth said...

"Fucking John Smoltz. Where did that outing come from?"

Smoltz is clearly on board with O:FB.

tem said...

"but it takes a little more than that to amuse me.

wadr to tem of course"

sometimes it is nice to be easily amused.

tem said...

"A friend of mine was telling me that she met a guy last week and he's already loaned her his truck, gave her the key to his house, $100 bucks to spend on Saturday and has dropped the L word. Wow. Desperate much?"

that was your friend?

damn.

tell her not to bang my truck into things next time.

tem said...

"Smoltz is clearly on board with O:FB."

he is cool like that.

tem said...

i have an offsite meeting soon, so not much of a run is in store here.

tem said...

probably need to leave in 8 minutes

tem said...

they have free juice at the place, so that is nice.

tem said...

we have a meeting there every week. usually friday, but this week it is monday.

tem said...

i bet they are getting sick of seeing us.

tem said...

guy in charge loves meetings though so he wants to meet and talk about shit all the time.

Beth said...

Amused yet tem?

tem said...

i hope meiz got his madden.

tem said...

i assume he did, he had 1 comment that led me to believe as such.

tem said...

beth you know 1 comment does not derail the temtrain.

tem said...

you need to throw out two stoppers

tem said...

and that won't stop me, it'll just contain me.

tem said...

that's how i roll

tem said...

and yes i am amused.

tem said...

it is a blessing really

tem said...

it means i am hardly ever bored

tem said...

going to the bengals colts preseason game next thurs.

tem said...

i wonder if peyton will even suit up

tem said...

4th preseason game is the worse, but the tix were free

tem said...

maybe i should take friday off after it.

tem said...

i might do that.

tem said...

hey, i got to work on time today and in a good mood.

tem said...

i didn't get laid this weekend though, so i don't know what is up.

tem said...

i almost called into work "too well"

tem said...

i was going to tell them that i wasn't tired and i was in a good mood and since it is monday that means something is wrong with me and it might be serious.

tem said...

but then i forgot and came to work anyway.

tem said...

stopped at mcdonalds and got a sausage mcmuffin and some tea.

tem said...

ok gotta go to a meeting.

enjoy my run.

read it again.

Beth said...

I don't have the energy to try to stop this.

Beth said...

Cause see, I DID get laid this weekend. :-)

Beth said...

So is 2 enough to stop you or not?

Beth said...

Or do I need 4?

Beth said...

Hell, let's go for 5, why not.

Beth said...

TEM IS SHOOK!!

Beth said...

Maybe you're right Tem, this is mildly amusing after all.

Beth said...

But now I'm running out of things to talk about.

Beth said...

I guess I could talk about fmbeth got a Blu-ray player this weekend.

Beth said...

Nah, that's not too interesting.

Beth said...

Of course not being interesting has never stopped one of tem's runs.

Beth said...

Appears tem went to his offsite meeting. So my work is done here.

Aitch said...

And he gave me $5 on a $75 fare. Ugh!

Beth said...

Bostonians be cheap.

ToddPacker said...

lots of runs today

ToddPacker said...

smoltz news made me laugh...O:FB is grate*

Aitch said...

"Cause see, I DID get laid this weekend."

This is only news if you used a bed instead of a desk or the backseat of a chevy.

Aitch said...

It would be news if tem or meiz got laid. Tem already said he didn't and we all know meiz was too busy playing Madden to try.

Aitch said...

"Bostonians be cheap"

He was a tourist. A doctor from Cincy who flew in for the Springstein concerts

Aitch said...

Cops just pulled over a guy who was riding his bicycle down the expressway. People be dumb

Aitch said...

Them again, I'm posting while driving, so I guess I shouldn't talk

ToddPacker said...

"He was a tourist. A doctor from Cincy who flew in for the Springstein concerts"

bruce is the worse*

Beth said...

You might as well accept it TP, rock and roll is here to stay.

tem said...

"Nah, that's not too interesting."

interesting has nothing to do with runs.

tem said...

"Cause see, I DID get laid this weekend. :-)"

good work.

tem said...

"You might as well accept it TP, rock and roll is here to stay."

ha

tem said...

"It would be news if tem or meiz got laid"

if i ever bust out a "i've got some news for you" then it means i got laid.

tem said...

but i don't have any news for you.

Beth said...

That was a short offsite meeting tem.

tem said...

yes it was short. << insert L pad joke here. >>

tem said...

the place is like right next door too.

well maybe 1/2 a mile away.

Aitch said...

So my ex from hike school is causing drama.

tem said...

how so?

tem said...

my ex from hike school got fat.

makes me wonder if she was always fat.

tem said...

hike school was awhile ago. is she saying that her 10yr old is yours?

tem said...

TPs ex from hike school just went to her great grandchild's 18th birthday party.

El Padrino said...

i'm off

going to bronx zoo (not a yankee game the real zoo)

tem said...

try to pet a zorse

Steve said...

saw Inglourious Basterds this weekend.

quality flick.

Aitch said...

"hike school was awhile ago. is she saying that her 10yr old is yours?"

Something like that. Telling people at a party that I knocked her up and she lost the baby and he'd be 10. All lies if course.

ToddPacker said...

"quality flick"

i've heard good thing... keith loved it too

tem said...

" Telling people at a party that I knocked her up and she lost the baby "

it is probably in the pool.

ToddPacker said...

"it is probably in the pool"

funny

tem said...

" All lies if course."

people believe anything.

ToddPacker said...

kids start school today. 5th and 6th grade. getting old is grate*

tem said...

how does blue feel about the giambi deal?

tem said...

school starts wednesday here.

lots of summer day cares aren't open this week.

that means like 4 people are out of the office for monday and tuesday because their kids have NOWHERE TO GO.

ToddPacker said...

"that means like 4 people are out of the office for monday and tuesday because their kids have NOWHERE TO GO"

they should bring their kids to work

s

tem said...

they should tie them to a tree and leave them at home.

tem said...

it is lull time i guess.

tem said...

or wall time.

tem said...

so is keef getting a new job or just a new time slot?

what are his new EST hours?

tem said...

"So is 2 enough to stop you or not?"

2 from you slows me down.

nothing stops me.

Beth said...

Offsite meetings stop you.

tem said...

they just contain me for a bit.

tem said...

although i am getting sleepy.

my morning buzz might have worn off.

Beth said...

It's a weird day, here we are past 11 (EST) and only 1 comment from LP and none from keith, meiz, blue or zeke.

tem said...

and yet we have carried it past 100 comments

Keith S said...

"Well I hope the "suite tip" you gave your waitress was at least 25% after all that."

33%

ns

tem said...

soon i will go to lunch. that will contain me as well.

and then the afternoon will be busy being boss's bitch.

Keith S said...

"And keith, let me go ahead and congratulate you now on your fantasy golf league win."

no jinxes

tem said...

"33%"

so $100? good work. i am sure she appreciated it.

tem said...

there is a fantasy golf league?

Beth said...

"33%
ns"

Good man. (ns)

Spaceman Spiff said...

why would a bartender serve a group of all dudes a girly shot like that

Beth said...

"no jinxes"

You could skip a week and still win.

Spaceman Spiff said...

H, the cards supposedly figured out smoltz was tipping his pitches, no idea why the sux didnt notice that, and he was pitching against the padres

Beth said...

"why would a bartender serve a group of all dudes a girly shot like that"

Cause she's "the best waitress in the world". She can very quickly size up her customers and their personality traits.

Meiz said...

Madden is in good hands.

Running is key.

Keith S said...

"so is keef getting a new job or just a new time slot?"

Interviewed, still haven't heard. Would be a different yob and the school with better hours if I get it.

AHIIK

tem said...

same $$$?

tem said...

hungry

Keith S said...

"same $$$?"

mas

Keith S said...

"no idea why the sux didnt notice that"

O:FB

Keith S said...

mize

Spaceman Spiff said...

most likely gonna miss both fnfl drafts, thus i will be tanking the yahoo league and focusing on pre ranking for the keeper

Keith S said...

Is this TV any good?

Spaceman Spiff said...

check if cnet has a review up for it

Spaceman Spiff said...

last time i went to costco one of the vizios has 240Hz already

Keith S said...

"check if cnet has a review up for it"

I was hoping someone else (you) already knew so I wouldn't have to do the legwork

Spaceman Spiff said...

for a TV self legwork is key

Keith S said...

No C-net review

Aitch said...

I just had a customer call me a thief because of a detour. I love my job.

Keith S said...

We had a douche cabbie this weekend. Spent the entire ride telling us about how his wife kicked him out of the house and now he's banging a 21 year old and made a point to show us cell phone pics of her.

Aitch said...

So he was trying to be "one of the guys"

Did you tip him Keef?

Spaceman Spiff said...

keef are you going rear projection just because you want a huge TV

Keith S said...

Sad story, but why are people standing that close to the ocean with a hurricane that close

Keith S said...

"Did you tip him Keef?"

$20 cab ride. $3 tip

Spaceman Spiff said...

wouldve tipped him more if the pics were any good

Keith S said...

"keef are you going rear projection just because you want a huge TV"

I don't know what we're getting yet. The place where the TV goes is about 65 1/2" across, so just seeing what we could get. I am not necessarily looking for rear projection

Spaceman Spiff said...

"why are people standing that close to the ocean with a hurricane that close"

natural selection

Spaceman Spiff said...

rear projection is bigger for less money, but its not as good as LCD/plasma and that money you save might be spent on replacing the bulb over the years

Spaceman Spiff said...

get to hawaii in time to watch the skins-pats game suite

Aitch said...

Sox may not land Wagner now. He wanted the sox to agree not to pick up his option for next year or offer him salary arbitration. The Sox refused both conditions.

He's an idiot. His option for next year is $8 million. Does he really think he will get more or the same elsewhere?

Keith S said...

you go to hawaii a lot. You must be rich

Keith S said...

"rear projection is bigger for less money, but its not as good as LCD/plasma and that money you save might be spent on replacing the bulb over the years"


Good to know. thanks

Spaceman Spiff said...

likely going to the hawaii football opener, they are playing UCA, no idea what that stands for

Keith S said...

goddman acronyms

Keith S said...

looks like central arkansas

Spaceman Spiff said...

district 9 was a solid movie

isiah thompson said...

Them again,

Bravo!

Spaceman Spiff said...

"looks like central arkansas"

gonna assume they suck worse than hawaii

Spaceman Spiff said...

had a rec league bball game yesterday, had some no show bitches who were pissed about the last game, had to play 5 on 4, was a suite workout, got to shoot a lot too. kept up for the first half, but got blown out eventually

Spaceman Spiff said...

the team that beat us, we beat previously by 30 when our full team was there, so even though it was 5 on 4 they tried to rub it in and urban meyered us, called a TO with 30 seconds left, haha

Meiz said...

I had a lovely weekend. Went for a drive, and wandered around the marina in Port Washington. It was a good mental vacation day, until I got back to the klan haus.

Meiz said...

Had Keith forgotten my internet situation?

Keith S said...

I had not remembered that

tem said...

he misremembered

Meiz said...

That's too bad. I was planning on putting together an LoV trivia event for when H hits the lotto. Keith was my favorite to win it all.

tem said...

blue maybe remembers.

tem said...

tem is going to win the lotto tomorrow.

Meiz said...

Lotto on a Tuesday?

tem said...

mega millions is tues and friday.

ToddPacker said...

"urban meyered us"

made me laugh

tem said...

is spiff on an all asian team?

tem said...

"district 9 was a solid movie"

i wonder if the ohio version is good.

Meiz said...

I created Vick as the Eagles' 3rd string HB/5th WR. He's gonna be a beast when I use them for a franchise.

What sucks though is that you used to be able to put whomever at any position, and now you can't do that. I was really planning on Mike being QB2, HB3, WR5.

woe

Meiz said...

And I gotta find & figure out how to use the Wildcat.

isiah thompson said...

Keef did one of your boys end up banging that waitress?

please advice

tem said...

"What sucks though is that you used to be able to put whomever at any position, "

you can do this with NCAA

Meiz said...

The Philly Iggles will be running the Rockford Fire Department offense.

Meiz said...

Have some fun with this.

Meiz said...

Pizza cravers Doritos are garbage

Keith S said...

"That's too bad. I was planning on putting together an LoV trivia event for when H hits the lotto. Keith was my favorite to win it all."

If I stop and think about shit I can remember it.

tem said...

then throw them out.

Keith S said...

"Keef did one of your boys end up banging that waitress?"

No. She did give me her phone # and email address to give to one of them, though. Not sure why she didn't just give it to them.

Keith S said...

But she just got divorced and her 2 ex-step-children live with her

ns

tem said...

because she wanted you to have it.

Keith S said...

baggage baggage baggage

tem said...

sounds like she wants you to give it to kod.

Keith S said...

"because she wanted you to have it."

She did ask me to email her the pics

Keith S said...

"sounds like she wants you to give it to kod."

Hilarity. I couldn't find the kod joke in there. Well done

isiah thompson said...

baggage baggage baggage

you guys go up there once a year, someone needed to tap that ass.

Keith S said...

"you guys go up there once a year, someone needed to tap that ass."

Only 2 of the 6 that went up are single, and neither one of them ever step up.

Keith S said...

Ryan Howard w/ 2 HR already. Suite

ToddPacker said...

"sounds like she wants you to give it to kod."

well done, tem

ToddPacker said...

"Ryan Howard w/ 2 HR already. Suite"

awesome


s

tem said...

"Only 2 of the 6 that went up are single, and neither one of them ever step up."

that's why they are single.

is there a pool nearby? if not then i'll go.

Meiz said...

"Only 2 of the 6 that went up are single, and neither one of them ever step up."


I wasn't in Arizona this weekend.

tem said...

"Only 2 of the 6 that went up are single, and neither one of them ever step up."

what's that got to do with fucking waitresses??

/rick pitino

Keith S said...

"is there a pool nearby? if not then i'll go."

There was a pool at our motel but it didn't have any water in it

Keith S said...

"that's why they are single."

science

tem said...

"There was a pool at our motel but it didn't have any water in it"

i probably would be good then.

Keith S said...

"Only 2 of the 6 that went up are single, and neither one of them ever step up."

One of them is the guy who wears tight pants, and the other one is our face man.

Keith S said...

face man could probably get some as. every time he goes out but he doesn't. He might not play on the same team.

tem said...

face man



::skank lair::

tem said...

homos are the worse


/L pad

Keith S said...

stop it

Meiz said...

Just for the hell of it:



Hey there.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Pizza cravers Doritos are garbage"

jalapeno popper doritos are bad as well

Keith S said...

I am not a fan of any Doritos

Keith S said...

especially ranch ones

Keith S said...

those are the worse

Keith S said...

bold

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