Friday, August 07, 2009

Housewives of LOV

It's come to the point now that the NFL network is on all the time. I seriously have no idea what I would do without it. And have no clue how I lived a normal NFL life prior to not having it. CMEP hates HATESSSSSSSS football and now I can watch this shit from July - April (hardcore) it really bothers her. But I argue that her watching marathon episodes of Bravo's Housewives of Atlanta, NY, NJ, Orange County is just as bad if not worse. I mean those shows are downright awful. You talk about golddigging hookers and douche bags. If a Housewive show centered around some Boston cougars the world would just blow up. I mean really the douchness level and bitch-ass-ness of the womanz on that show is at a level, I just can't explain it. Your goal this weekend is to watch one of these episodes with your CMXX or FMXX and see what you're missing. I'm telling you that shit is rife with douchey hilarity, cougars with giant fake tits/tans and cattyness you've never witnessed befo'.

I'm declaring the Mets season over. All you haterz can rest now. Quick summary of the injuries because it really is unbelievable......
Met major injuries include Reyes, Beltran, Delgado, Niese, Maine, Putz.
Time spent on the DL by other players are : Perez, Schneider, Martinez, Cora, Church, Sheffield, and Castillo.

Let that marinate for a bit. Woe.

Charles Barkley. Raw. This is a must click link, if it's El Padrino I do not care.

Smoltz...psst. Smoltz... Enough dude. Stop it. Your ruining yourself. Go sell lawnmowers at Home Depot. In other O:FB news Ortiz will "speak on this" positive test. If he says he took some shit he didn't know had a banned substance in it I will not be Shocked nor Surprised.

I traded Sizemore in my keeper for Max Scherzer. I plan on keeping Mad Max going into next year. Thanks for showing up this year Grady. You were only my first round pick (9th overall). I hope an Indian groupie gives you AIDS. And not magic AIDS, like real shit. easy E shit. Rip Easy.

Fantasy football boner is halfway up. I imagine having the first pick and taking Purple Jesus. Then with the 24th/25th pick I'd try and get nice WR/QB combo.

These are my stories.

766 comments:

1 – 200 of 766   Newer›   Newest»
Can't Spell Midget Without EP said...

fucking beth

Beth said...

You need to learn some patience EP, it'd be good for you.

Jugdish said...

finally!

ToddPacker said...

ep couldn't wait

Jugdish said...

nice, jug... we do a 9-80 schedule, so every other friday off



we do something like that now...we get random mondays off

Willow said...

waited like an hour

Beth said...

Hey, some of us actually have to work at our jobs, those dicks don't just blow themselves you know.

(That's a preemptive joke for all of you.)

ToddPacker said...

never watched any of the housewives shows

Jugdish said...

those dicks don't just blow themselves you know


good work

blue said...

truth on those housewives shows

the atlanta one is the worse, even if eric snow and ed hartwell's wives are on it...black bitches be crazy yo

blue said...

only one i could ever sit through an episode of was OC.

and only because there were some hot cougar chicks on there.

Jugdish said...

Your goal this weekend is to watch one of these episodes with your CMXX or FMXX and see what you're missing.


makes me glad i don't have cable or a cm/fm

Willow said...

atlanta one takes it to a whole new level, it's absurd

Steve said...

"dicks don't just blow themselves you know"



if only...

Willow said...

"makes me glad i don't have cable or a cm/fm"

jug no cable is not something to brag about

Jugdish said...

im rarely home, it was a waste of 80 a month

however, ill be getting direct tv soon since i have people moving in

Willow said...

your a man of travel

Jugdish said...

also...you can pretty much watch anything on line now a days

blue said...

directv is da bombdizzle

blue said...

when you get directv use me as a referral and you'll get a $50 credit

Jugdish said...

when you get directv use me as a referral and you'll get a $50 credit



I'll tell the installer I know blue in denver...he'll give me the suite hook up

ToddPacker said...

shocker

blue said...

no doubt, and then i get a $50 credit too

Beth said...

"atlanta one takes it to a whole new level, it's absurd"

Totally agree, I tried to watch it when it first started since it was Atlanta and all, but couldn't get past the first 10 minutes.

blue said...

"shocker"

you stuck your finger up your ass?

ToddPacker said...

"no doubt, and then i get a $50 credit too"

those $50 credits are nice

ToddPacker said...

"you stuck your finger up your ass?"

that's only half of the deal, blue

ToddPacker said...

so the mess looked good last night

blue said...

"that's only half of the deal, blue"

but i hope that's the "shocking" part

Beth said...

RE: Florida ranked #1

Obviously that's no surprise to everyone but what is getting some talk around here is collegefootballnews.com (whoever they are) has UGA ranked #5. Even as an optimistic fan I have to say that's about 5-10 spots too high.

ToddPacker said...

michigan got the same amount of votes as troy... i think michigan will be a top 25 team (ns)

Willow said...

big year for rich rod, he has to win 10 games this year

ToddPacker said...

"Obviously that's no surprise to everyone but what is getting some talk around here is collegefootballnews.com (whoever they are) has UGA ranked #5. Even as an optimistic fan I have to say that's about 5-10 spots too high."

i think uga will be good this year... ewing theory

ToddPacker said...

"big year for rich rod, he has to win 10 games this year"

of course, i thought mich was going to be better than they were last year too

Beth said...

Good definitely but I don't see top 5. Running back will be fine once they figure out who is the best of the bunch but for me QB will be the make or break for their season.

Of course they could go 2-9 in my book and I'd almost be happy as long as they beat UF and GT.

blue said...

hey colorado got 2 votes...yayhoo

blue said...

they could go 2-9


did they just drop a game from the schedule?

ToddPacker said...

meiz is going to be mad that he is missing ncaa football talk

s

Beth said...

"did they just drop a game from the schedule?"

Actually I don't count Tennessee Tech since that's an automatic win.

s

ToddPacker said...

early nc prediction: usc v texas

Willow said...

texas gonna be no joke

ToddPacker said...

"texas gonna be no joke"

texas and usc got screwed last year. revenge seasons for both

Jugdish said...

jugvorce is final

Beth said...

Sorry to hear that jug, unless it's what you wanted and then I guess it's a congratulations. Either way it can't be easy.

Willow said...

congrats?

Willow said...

condolences?

Jugdish said...

thanks! congrats is good, although not what i wanted initially, cirumstances have made it a good thing

Jugdish said...

...and i will get hammered tonight!


but i was gonna do that either way

ToddPacker said...

"thanks! congrats is good, although not what i wanted initially, cirumstances have made it a good thing"

no kids, right jug. do you have to pay any alimony?

ToddPacker said...

"...and i will get hammered tonight!"

good plan

blue said...

i can now live vicariously through Jug

Jugdish said...

no kids, no alimony...clean split

Jugdish said...

i can now live vicariously through Jug



i will try not to let you down

blue said...

did you get to keep your bowling shirt?

blue said...

band of brothers...maybe you should rent it sometime

Jugdish said...

hilarity!

Jugdish said...

i should get a pool table

Willow said...

take chicago by land, sea and air jug

Willow said...

can't believe she divorced you because she wanted 12 lemons and you brought her 3

blue said...

what my baby wants my baby gets

Jugdish said...

blue...on the kick drum...come come, on the kick drum

Jugdish said...

I think the only fair solution is for her to move out, and pay me some sort of penalty for all the work I did there.

Steve said...

"jugvorce is final"


do her sister.


it'll make you feel better.

Steve said...

or her best friend

Willow said...

"Congress plans to spend $550 million to buy eight jets, even as lawmakers have criticized firms receiving taxpayer funds for using private jets."

makes alot of sense

blue said...

congress isn't broke

Willow said...

no it's funny that they hang ceo's for flying jets but do so themselves

quite funny actually

Aitch said...

I just missed a call from exfemH. Wonder what she could want...

ToddPacker said...

"I just missed a call from exfemH. Wonder what she could want..."

she is upset over the jugvorse

Beth said...

"I just missed a call from exfemH. Wonder what she could want..."

She needs a taxi ride?

Spaceman Spiff said...

"From the little bit I saw of the game last night, he had nothing. I know he's hardest on himself too so he's gotta be hating life today."

the yanks swung and missed a total of 2 times while he was in there, thats brutal

Willow said...

he's done, thats like 8 consecutive terrible starts

Spaceman Spiff said...

"...and i will get hammered tonight!"

you should be doing the hammering

Meiz said...

NFL Network is overrated

Keith S said...

"Of course they could go 2-9 in my book and I'd almost be happy as long as they beat UF and GT."

Stop it

Keith S said...

freak posted a message on Y!FMLB

Keith S said...

I wonder who tOSU will get to pinch throw for Pryor this year

Beth said...

"Stop it"

Oh that's right, they need to beat ASU too so you won't be even more of an as.

Keith S said...

"Oh that's right, they need to beat ASU too so you won't be even more of an as."

My hike school could beat ASU this year

Spaceman Spiff said...

"freak posted a message on Y!FMLB"

he needed a brea from LOV? his posts take 2 seconds and he doesnt comment much, WFT

Spaceman Spiff said...

*break

Meiz said...

Crabtree is a fucking ratard

Willow said...

fool

Willow said...

your face is overated

Meiz said...

Finally, I have some good pitching going tonight

Keith S said...

my new strategery is to add pitchers who are facing the mess

Willow said...

i want to see counting crows in concert just to hear Round Here live, fucking love that song

Keith S said...

"fucking love that song"

Yo tambien

ToddPacker said...

"he needed a brea from LOV? his posts take 2 seconds and he doesnt comment much, WFT"

it's summer. flip-flop and sandal season. little, if any sock time. freak is dealing with a lot. we should keep some distance and respect what he's going through.

Willow said...

"it's summer. flip-flop and sandal season. little, if any sock time. freak is dealing with a lot. we should keep some distance and respect what he's going through."


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHA

ToddPacker said...

"i want to see counting crows in concert just to hear Round Here live"


i know i mentioned this here, but they did song live on stern a while back.... good stuff

Willow said...

A Long December is solid too, I have some live shit on the ipod and they sound great

ToddPacker said...

"they did song live"

grate

Willow said...

i know they do a buttload of nyc shows, i'm so lazy when it comes to shit like this

Keith S said...

Saw a concert about 10 years ago w/ the Counting Crows & the Wallflowers. It was suite

blue said...

they're no hootie

Willow said...

have been to like 6 concerts my whole life, i'm such an idiot

Keith S said...

Your* not an idiot. You won the 3rd grade spelting bee

ToddPacker said...

"have been to like 6 concerts my whole life, i'm such an idiot"

crazy... i've seen some bands more than 6 times (insert old man joke)

Willow said...

pats picking up burgess for dog crap is a big deal

they always do shit like this, fucking amazing

Keith S said...

TP saw the Beatles in person on the Ed Sullivan show

Willow said...

"crazy... i've seen some bands more than 6 times (insert old man joke)"

it's my meizeness

Meiz said...

My car insurance agent magically found me coverage for $10 less than Geico after I tolt her I was dropping them.

Keith S said...

Didn't realize the Pats also got Galloway & Fred Taylor

Willow said...

"TP saw the Beatles in person on the Ed Sullivan show"

hilarity

Willow said...

"My car insurance agent magically found me coverage for $10 less than Geico after I tolt her I was dropping them."

sort of like the cable company allowing you to stay locked in at a offer rate after the expiration date when you threatned to leave

Meiz said...

"have been to like 6 concerts my whole life, i'm such an idiot"


Concerts are expensive

Keith S said...

Twins trade for Pavano, send Dickey to AAA. LP is sad

Meiz said...

"pats picking up burgess for dog crap is a big deal

they always do shit like this, fucking amazing"


Better hope Moss doesn't have a big year. It might get insufferable in here with me & Aitch.

Willow said...

"Concerts are expensive"

not really, no one is seein Streisand or fucking Madonna

i'm just lazy and hate crowds

blue said...

pats got burgess

wow, that is a big deal

Keith S said...

Yardwork is dangerous, you

Willow said...

"Better hope Moss doesn't have a big year. It might get insufferable in here with me & Aitch."

silly, O:FB is in full swing, something will correct itself

Meiz said...

"silly, O:FB is in full swing, something will correct itself"


Pats don't play in Boston

Keith S said...

if mize starts to get insufferable, you just need to axe him how his living arrangement is and he'll pipe down

blue said...

broncos had practice/scrimmage last night at Invesco...free to show up and watch...i guess like 13K people showed up which isn't huge, but a decent showing.


they booed the shit out of Orton and McDaniels....

this will be a fun season.

Keith S said...

"which isn't huge, but a decent showing."


TWSS

Meiz said...

Orton's the man

blue said...

Orton was fine until he threw a couple of picks

then the kicker missed a couple of FGs

sounds like i missed a great showing.

blue said...

marshall wasn't there though

he makes a big difference in their offense.

and obviously knowshow moreno wasn't there either

Keith S said...

"and obviously knowshow moreno wasn't there either"

ISWYDT

Willow said...

Pats don't play in Boston

O:FNE

Meiz said...

The women here cannot figure out how to use the goddman phone. Its a simple 2 line phone. One button says line 1, the other button says line 2. Simple as that, yet they hang up on half the people they put on hold or are trying to put on hold. Incredible.

Keith S said...

I wonder how much mize exadurates* his work stories

Meiz said...

"O:FNE"


No such thing

Meiz said...

"I wonder how much mize exadurates* his work stories"


Zero

Spaceman Spiff said...

"not really, no one is seein Streisand or fucking Madonna

i'm just lazy and hate crowds"

with your debt, 20$ concert ticket should be considered expensive

Spaceman Spiff said...

ive been to 3 concerts i think

Meiz said...

Plus, The Pats had their bout of O: FB last season. They started it.

Willow said...

is Meiz going against nature?

Spaceman Spiff said...

meiz speaks the troof, O:FB is done with the pats, fluke super bowl loss and brady lost for a whole season

Willow said...

and they will not win a SB this year and aitch will send me beer and food

blue said...

foxboro is boston

stop it.

blue said...

that's like saying lP doesn't live in NYC

Meiz said...

"foxboro is boston"


Then why isn't it called Boston?

blue said...

really meiz

why isn't mequon called Milwaukee

Willow said...

silly meiz

Meiz said...

"why isn't mequon called Milwaukee"


Because Mequon is not Milwaukee

Willow said...

zeke that rapid fire thing is so awesome

Willow said...

is it in the milwaukee metropolitan area?

Meiz said...

"is it in the milwaukee metropolitan area?"

It is in the Greater Milwaukee Area.


Point being, you know when you're in Ozaukee County, and when you're in Milwaukee

Willow said...

i want this chun li

Willow said...

dissolving bikini, genius

Willow said...

PEOPLE SHOUTING AT PELOSI IN DENVER...

gonna end bad for the dems, real bad

Willow said...

TOWN HALLS TURN VIOLENT...

Willow said...

Physicians jam meeting in Houston: 'Don't want socialized medicine'...

Willow said...

NOONAN: 'Democrats Look Desperate'...

Willow said...

6 arrested after St. Louis meeting...

Willow said...

Man blames cat for downloaded child pornography...

Meiz said...

EP's "news" never strikes me as being important

Willow said...

that doesnt bother me

Meiz said...

It shouldn't

Keith S said...

I guess he isn't really "mad busy yo"

Meiz said...

I smell ham. Intoxicating.

Keith S said...

"Plus, The Pats had their bout of O: FB last season. They started it."

Thought you said Pats weren't in Boston

Keith S said...

Someone is running away with GOLF PICKS

Keith S said...

jinx

Meiz said...

"Thought you said Pats weren't in Boston"


Well aware.

Keith S said...

apology accepted

Keith S said...

"Did that stop me from embarking on "Operation 1970s Hoops Office"? Of course not."


Fucking SG.

Keith S said...

Hey fuckfaces!

Y! College Pick 'Em
Group ID#: 2910
PW: pathword

Y! NFL Pick 'Em
Group ID#: 6195
PW: pathword

Y! Survival League
Group ID#: 2378
PW: pathword

tem said...

"big year for rich rod, he has to win 10 games this year"

false. 7 or 8 is acceptable.

10 is needed next year.

Steve said...

"EP's "news" never strikes me as being important"


you should watch more Hannity/Limbaugh.

They're good at scaring the shit out of saps.

tem said...

"My hike school could beat ASU this year"

stop it.

Aitch said...

"Better hope Moss doesn't have a big year. It might get insufferable in here with me & Aitch."

Meiz is a Pats fan? Or just Moss?

Aitch said...

Foxboro is 30 miles south of Boston. Make your judgments as you will as to whether it is Boston.

blue said...

google maps says 22 miles

i live 22 miles south of Denver, and still say I "live" in Denver


do people in foxboro commute to Boston for work?

If boston imploded...and God i hope it does...would those people still be able to live there?

probably not, it's a suburb, thus it's Boston

blue said...

i know logic sometimes confuses meiz

blue said...

and meiz is a Moss fan, he could care less* about the rest of the pats.

Meiz said...

"you should watch more Hannity/Limbaugh."



Never.

Meiz said...

Blue makes up his own logic. And gets riled up over some silly things.

ToddPacker said...

"Foxboro is 30 miles south of Boston. Make your judgments as you will as to whether it is Boston."

if the paaaahhhhhhking lawt in foxboro is full of caaaaahhhhhhhhs with fat chicks pinched into pink pat's jerseys it's still boston

Meiz said...

"if the paaaahhhhhhking lawt in foxboro is full of caaaaahhhhhhhhs with fat chicks pinched into pink pat's jerseys it's still boston"



Those are not your jerseys, TP.

Aitch said...

Jesus Christ I guestimated 30 miles. Way to be hyper-technical Bleu

blue said...

"Blue makes up his own logic."


but it's different that pecosian logic...it's based on fact...not myth

blue said...

"Jesus Christ I guestimated 30 miles. Way to be hyper-technical Bleu"

you're a cabbie, you should know these things.

the only reason i knew was because i started logicing meiz, i wanted to make sure it wasn't outrageously far

Jugdish said...

8 miles is a lot of money in a cab aitch, you know that

Aitch said...

Remember we are a smaller state. No one around here considers Foxboro a suburb of Boston

blue said...

ok, so if i met somebody who lived in Foxboro, and i asked them where they lived...what would they say?

blue said...

and i already know the answer because cmblue lived in foxboro for a year

tem said...

"you're a cabbie, you should know these things."

it probably is 30 cabbie miles. their miles are shorter.

ToddPacker said...

"Remember we are a smaller state. No one around here considers Foxboro a suburb of Boston"

i consider rhode island a suburb of boston

tem said...

"and i already know the answer because cmblue lived in foxboro for a year"

oh, damn. and she seemed nice.

well at least she moved.

Meiz said...

"it's based on fact"


If a fact in your world is Foxboro = Boston, your facts are wrong.

tem said...

it's all just a suburb of NYC


/L p

blue said...

"Remember we are a smaller state"

so you overcompensate, like with penis envy...got it.

Meiz said...

"the only reason i knew was because i started logicing meiz, i wanted to make sure it wasn't outrageously far"


22 miles is far

ToddPacker said...

it's all just a suburb of NYC

funny

Jugdish said...

it probably is 30 cabbie miles. their miles are shorter.



like feet and half inches to Lp

blue said...

"i consider rhode island a suburb of boston"

cmblue also lived outside of providence and still considered that "boston"

Jugdish said...

22 miles is far


not for an aveo

blue said...

"22 miles is far"

really?

people run farther than that

my rule, if it's shorter than a marathon, it's close.

Jugdish said...

cmblue was on the witness protection program for awhile

tem said...

maybe cmblue just has a poor grasp on geography.

does she consider denver a suburb of boston?

Meiz said...

"not for an aveo"


Smaller wheels, more rotations

tem said...

"people run farther than that"

tem doesn't

blue said...

if i can get there on less than a gallon of gas, it's not far

tem said...

el pad is shorter than a marathon.

is he close?

blue said...

"does she consider denver a suburb of boston?"

it was during the World Series

tem said...

"if i can get there on less than a gallon of gas, it's not far"

you drink gas?

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Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino