Wednesday, September 02, 2009

862.

As Tem reported yesterday, the Dodgers acquired my new homey, Jim Thome. And Jon Garland. Thome will basically pinch and play a couple of games at first, and that's about it; he's going to be more of a power threat than anything else. Garland is going to provide some relief for the Dodgers young starters; once Hiroki Kuroda comes back next week, they will have six starting pitchers, so Billingsley and Kershaw will get some extra days down the stretch. Their bench is really starting to shape up with Belliard, Pierre, Loretta and Thome. That's a nice combination of speed and power that Torre can mix in. I really like the Garland move, their starting rotation has looked really thin all season, so hopefully he can provide some help.

As Zeke reported, the Bengals first-round pick Andre Smith finally singed a contract, but then he broke his ankle in practice during a non-contact drill. Excuse me for a second:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ah, that was quite humorous. The real funny thing is, if you watch Hard Knocks on HBO, the Bengals coaches and players have been ripping on this guy for weeks. There's the video of him running at Alabama's Pro Day* (he's at the 43 second mark ::WARNING:: he has tits), then HBO showed footage of him working out with a trainer in Alabama while the rest of the team was in camp; the players were mocking him for that as well. Broke his ankle in a non-contact drill, I still can't get over that. Hilarious.

Ricky Rubio is going to play in Europe for two years. Shocker. Way to go, Minnesota. By the way, has anyone talked about the coaching staff Rambis has put together? Ed Pinckney, Reggie Theus, and...wait for it...Bill Laimbeer. NEED REALITY TV SHOW.

Neftali Feliz is my new man-crush. If you're gonna try and pick him up in either of the LoV leagues, don't even bother, I've had him for a couple of weeks. Dude just comes in, strikes guys out, and if they put him in with a lead, he leaves the game with a hold. I love holds now.

Peavy had an MRI done on his elbow. It showed a bruise and some fluid buildup. Way to go White Sox. Maybe that's why they're unloading half of their team, they figure they're already dunzo and they've spent too much money on their crazy acquisitions that they're just going to throw in the towel for this year. I don't get it.

In response to Keith's "We had to go re-sign our title papers this morning because the bank fucked up the date on the original ones. Woe." comment last night - Yep, welcome to buying a house Keef. From my experience as well as talking to others, there is no such thing as a smooth transaction when you're buying a home. They pretty much make it as frustrating as possible.

And I'm out.


* I don't care if this has been linked before, it is gross and funny at the same time.

279 comments:

1 – 200 of 279   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

I've got nothing to say, other than I'm trying out a new profile picture in honor of football season.

Beth said...

Hmmm, a bit small to really see well, especially for TP with those old eyes, and that UF fan especially needs to see my profile pic. The pic (not me) is of a hot blonde in a Georgia belly shirt and panties.

Beth said...

Not sure I like it, I may go back to my last one.

Beth said...

Hmmmm, with Tem not here today I could go on a run if I wanted to, especially since it doesn't appear Aitch is here either.

Beth said...

But luckily for everyone who has to read the comments later, I'm not in the mood to go on a run. So this will probably be the end of it.

El Padrino said...

i like the pic

El Padrino said...

david wright borrowed steve's helmet last night

blue said...

yeah, that helmet is heeeeuge

El Padrino said...

"Obama may give major health care speech"

Shocker

El Padrino said...

Dammit blue keef tradefuckers

El Padrino said...

boycotting ben and jerry's i'd advise you do the same

hilraity at the flavor though, fudge covered or fudge packed pretzels with peanute butter?

really?

blue said...

ice cream is good

i like cherry garcia

El Padrino said...

it's semen based iced cream now

Beth said...

That's surprisingly not bad actually, I've tried that flavor before.

s

blue said...

so i had an assignment for crappy mini-skirt lady.

she brings it to me hand written on 3 pieces of paper.


WFT? who does that?

Beth said...

Is she computer illiterate or something?

blue said...

she's a moron old lady



i'm still in shock as i keep looking at these pieces of paper on my desk

Beth said...

Fire her blue, you know you want to...

ToddPacker said...

"Hmmm, a bit small to really see well, especially for TP with those old eyes, and that UF fan especially needs to see my profile pic."

UGA girls are the better.... as long as you don't have to hear the them talk

Meiz said...

asian kid just said this the a person on the phone:

I'm sure all Walgreen's does passport photos.


He's got HDH pouring out of his mouth all day. Dude, learn English.

Meiz said...

"El Padrino said...

might move to jersey to save money
i am really stressed out over this possibility"



I fucking told you this ages ago.

blue said...

move to texas it's cheaper there

ToddPacker said...

"just said this the a person"

suite

El Padrino said...

"I fucking told you this ages ago."

I don't want to hear it, even now.

blue said...

can you hear me now?

blue said...

look at it this way...

tony soprano lived in jersey and he was awesome

El Padrino said...

jersey blows and it'd be in her parents house which blows even more
even though there is a seperate entrance and all that

El Padrino said...

but saving 1200 a month would be suite

blue said...

oh, moving in with the 'rents?


i smell a sitcom

El Padrino said...

i smell a nightmare

Beth said...

I smell some hilarious stories (well, hilarious to everyone but EP that is).

ToddPacker said...

three "smell" comments in a row... LoV is smelty* today

El Padrino said...

pretty sure i'd rather go bankrupt them live there

Meiz said...

Smells like hot, rotten garbage.

Beth said...

I love the smell of LOV in the morning, it smells like...stupidity.



(See, I can bastardize movie quotes too.)

El Padrino said...

"but then he broke his ankle in practice during a non-contact drill."

think it's a foot fracture

Meiz said...

Transfer, & move to the midwest. Missouri perhaps? Kansas? Indiana?

blue said...

i love the smell of napalm in the morning

El Padrino said...

"Transfer, & move to the midwest. Missouri perhaps? Kansas? Indiana?"

Transfer to what, a supermarket?

blue said...

the bank doesn't have branches in the midwest? (s)

blue said...

golf picks

Steve said...

a REAL New Yorker would stick it out.

El Padrino said...

shaddup

Meiz said...

Gonna be a slow one today

Beth said...

"golf picks"

I'm still making my picks but Keith wrapped it up weeks ago (the bastard).

El Padrino said...

good tomlinson read

and the jim brown article

blue said...

basterd

El Padrino said...

when rednecks win the lottery

Steve said...

TRENTON, Mich. - A Michigan church is enlisting Satan in a bid to drum up attendance at services.

Metro South Church in the Detroit suburb of Trenton is posting signs saying the non-denominational Christian congregation "sucks" and "makes me sick."

The ads are signed by Satan.


Awesome.

blue said...

coors light...yeah

Meiz said...

I hate working long days

Beth said...

RE: when rednecks win the lottery

I like how the guy has his bright orange hunting cap on cause otherwise someone might mistake him for a deer in the hot tub and shoot him.

Beth said...

I hate working.

*fixed


I hate everything.

*double fixed

Meiz said...

Who doesn't hate working?

Steve said...

"Who doesn't hate working?"


i like my job.

El Padrino said...

"Who doesn't hate working?"

Politicians, athletes, porn stars

Meiz said...

"Politicians, athletes, porn stars"


Wanna bet?

Keith S said...

"pretty sure i'd rather go bankrupt them live there"

more suiteness

Keith S said...

"Dammit blue keef tradefuckers"

I sent you the offer that you made

Keith S said...

George Karl probably doesn't hate his job

El Padrino said...

kevin federline is really fat

Meiz said...

Federline can afford to be fat

Keith S said...

What's your excuse

El Padrino said...

"I sent you the offer that you made"

i dont see it

Keith S said...

"i dont see it"

I do

Keith S said...

NOT

El Padrino said...

"I do"

this is what we call, a stalemate

you sure you offered it to bagz inc

Keith S said...

It didn't send because I didn't drop someone to adjust the roster.

Keith S said...

That's not an apology

El Padrino said...

it's accepted anyway

Meiz said...

"What's your excuse"


No motivation

El Padrino said...

both the trade and your non-apology

El Padrino said...

how long is freak in italy for?

El Padrino said...

and why did he go?

El Padrino said...

italians dont wear socks

Meiz said...

"how long is freak in italy for?"


2 months, apparently.

El Padrino said...

how could freak go to italy before me?

El Padrino said...

2 months!

jesus he must be boom micing Italian Job 2

El Padrino said...

is freak the paparazzo that took pics of george clooney's guest changing her clothes

she was a 12 year old girl

Meiz said...

"2 months!"


I was being s

isiah thompson said...

jersey blows and it'd be in her parents house which blows even more
even though there is a seperate entrance and all that

You're moving in with the Princess and Super Mario?

Keith S said...

mize's FB post makes me aitch

blue said...

you can't go to italy for less than 2 weeks, it's just not possible

El Padrino said...

"You're moving in with the Princess and Super Mario?"

no, her father is puerto rican

Keith S said...

Did you see this, mize?

Keith S said...

Report: Michigan coach tied to banned booster


I didn't know he was into S&M

blue said...

rich rod era is starting to resemble the steve fisher era at michigan.

next thing you know richrod will be coaching at whales vagina state

blue said...

rich rod is finding out that people overlook your cheating in wava if you're from wava, not so much at UM

isiah thompson said...

this story hasn't hit the national media yet but Rich Rod is really an al qada member.

isiah thompson said...

I'm surprised Rich Rod didn't get in trouble for bank rolling Bad Newz Kennels.

RR invented the rape stand.

blue said...

rumor has it, that richrod was supposed to hijack one of the planes on 9/11 but his scheduled departure was after the FAA had grounded all planes

isiah thompson said...

he was en route with his box cutter ready

isiah thompson said...

he got stuck in traffic

blue said...

rumor that was running around the airwaves here yesterday:

Brandon Marshall to Arizona, Boldin to KC, and Leinart to Denver....not sure what KC had to give up.

Seemed like a lot for Arizona to be giving up.

Keith S said...

I think you guys are lying

isiah thompson said...

Rich Rod kilt Michael Jackson, he hated Thriller.

Keith S said...

What a basterd*

blue said...

rumor is that richrod is going to be traded to the dolphins

Meiz said...

"mize's FB post makes me aitch"

I figured.

This chick's status updates are ALWAYS these: What a terrible day, I can't wait for the weekend.

"Only tuesday? Work sucks"

"Gawd I hate mondays. When is the weekend?"

"Only Thursday? I need a drink"



Its annoying

Keith S said...

hilarity

blue said...

richrod is the one who gave farrah fawcett butt cancer

Meiz said...

"Did you see this, mize?"


Yes. Sunday.

Keith S said...

"Its annoying"

Yeah people that complain about shit all the time are the worse

blue said...

did kod mention if he got that african baby or not?

Keith S said...

kod's sister got the baby. Kod wanted one that had bad aids

blue said...

white kid?

El Padrino said...

Rich Rod made Aids.

blue said...

richrod gives mort all of his "breaking news"

El Padrino said...

"A central Pennsylvania man said he robbed a bank in 2007 to go to jail and get away from his overbearing wife."

bold trategy Cotton, let's see if it pays off

Meiz said...

"bold strategy Cotton, let's see if it pays off"



This is an all-time favorite line of mine.

blue said...

this is tiresome

Meiz said...

I have Hankook tires

El Padrino said...

i am going for a nap at 1pm

El Padrino said...

after a massive shit, just had a massive lunch

Steve said...

nk to Armless Man: No Thumbs, No Check-Cashing

Steve said...

Bank

Meiz said...

Watching people wander around looking for a garbage can is fun.

isiah thompson said...

"Obama may give major health care speech"

Shocker

I saw Osama on a preview for Jorge* Lopez's new show last night on TBS.

wft Osama?

El Padrino said...

that school thing really boggles my mind

Keith S said...

"A central Pennsylvania man said he robbed a bank in 2007 to go to jail and get away from his overbearing wife."


Thanks cumfast

blue said...

what schoool thing?

isiah thompson said...

jersey blows and it'd be in her parents house which blows even more
even though there is a seperate entrance and all that

is your father-in-law refusing to make the house "little person friendly"?

El Padrino said...

"what schoool thing?"

i linked yesterday an article explaining or outlining a missive that obama was going to broadcast to every school in america

El Padrino said...

"is your father-in-law refusing to make the house "little person friendly"?"

funny

isiah thompson said...

i linked yesterday an article explaining or outlining a missive that obama was going to broadcast to every school in america

Osama: "kill....kill....kill....da white man"

isiah thompson said...

Obama Lickabooboodey

Meiz said...

adblock kicks ass

blue said...

yahoo fantasy football tells me that it has free live scoring now

Meiz said...

WTF. I can't right click anything

Meiz said...

little help here

isiah thompson said...

try right clicking

Meiz said...

nothing happens, ass

Meiz said...

I've lost my ability to cnp

isiah thompson said...

ctrl C

ctrl V

it's science

blue said...

"WTF. I can't right click anything"

are you using a mouse

Meiz said...

I like using the mouse more

blue said...

*mac instead of mouse

Meiz said...

not a mac

isiah thompson said...

ctrl c and v is quicker

Meiz said...

I dl'ed the new version of Firefox & installed adblock & now I can't right click. I'M SHOOK. I don't know how to fix it.

Steve said...

reboot

Keith S said...

"I dl'ed the new version of Firefox & installed adblock & now I can't right click. I'M SHOOK. I don't know how to fix it."

relax, rev

Meiz said...

"reboot"


It'll have to wait until tonight. Takes 15 minutes to get this fucker running.

Beth said...

"reboot"

Typical IT guy, that's their 1st response to every computer problem.

Keith S said...

FACE!

Steve said...

"Typical IT guy, that's their 1st response to every computer problem."

"FACE!"


not FACE!.....FACT!!!

Keith S said...

60% of the time it works every time

blue said...

have you tried using your left hand?

isiah thompson said...

a stranger?

Steve said...

"have you tried using your left hand?"

also, try standing on one leg.

Keith S said...

That's a personal question

Keith S said...

I can't even brush my teeth with my left hand

Aitch said...

EP, the following questions are ns...

Do you get along with the in-laws?
Are they the types to get overly involved in your lives?
How much room will you have in the place? One room, couple?

Keith S said...

Is the milolp hot?

Aitch said...

"This chick's status updates are ALWAYS these: What a terrible day, I can't wait for the weekend."

I have a chick on my facebook who does the same thing. I called her on it the other day. She was not happy.

El Padrino said...

Do you get along with the in-laws?
get along, yeah i guess, doesnt mean i want to live with them

Are they the types to get overly involved in your lives?
not really, the mother yes but they all do

How much room will you have in the place? One room, couple?
Top floor which is like one big room, like a studio.

Beth said...

"Do you get along with the in-laws?"

How can anyone not get along with EP?????

Aitch said...

Eek. Honestly, I think it will be a major strain on the marriage. Just a humble opinion, but I've seen it before.

El Padrino said...

"Eek. Honestly, I think it will be a major strain on the marriage. Just a humble opinion, but I've seen it before."

Actually quite the opposite with the mother in law around the baby it will put some time back in our lives to spend with each other also will allow us to eliminate some debt, it's a short term move.

isiah thompson said...

the most important quessssstion about the potential move is:

How close is the nearest Sbarro?

Meiz said...

Rebooted, still not working

isiah thompson said...

Rebooted, still not working


IN....YOU....FACE!!!!!


FACCCCCCCCE!

Steve said...

"lives to spend with each other also"


Free babysitter.


Score!

El Padrino said...

"Free babysitter.


Score!"

she works so no but on weekends and shit yeah

Steve said...

"Rebooted, still not working"

next standard IT comment:

"The mouse is borken, but a new one."


you're welcome.

El Padrino said...

"How close is the nearest Sbarro?"

this worries me but through some migration of true brooklynites there is some decent grub in the garden state and brook-a-lynne is only 30 minutes away if i get the itch for some beautiful coal/wood/brick oven pizza or any other delicacy that i feel like i cant live without

Aitch said...

"Actually quite the opposite with the mother in law around the baby it will put some time back in our lives to spend with each other also will allow us to eliminate some debt, it's a short term move."

I hope it works out. Just depends on how much mom interferes with your lives and how much privacy they give you. Being right upstairs now, you may find they knock on your door all the time.

El Padrino said...

"I hope it works out. Just depends on how much mom interferes with your lives and how much privacy they give you. Being right upstairs now, you may find they knock on your door all the time."

tell me more Dr. Phil

isiah thompson said...

I hope it works out. Just depends on how much mom interferes with your lives and how much privacy they give you. Being right upstairs now, you may find they knock on your door all the time.


I think a lot of this should already be determined.

If EP is cool with them and they have a healthy relationship with defined boundaries then they should be ok.

If there is already tension then it will just get worse.

Steve said...

EP, first thing you do when you move in and tell them how much better it is in NY.

go ahead and keep that initial bar of expectations really low.

Aitch said...

"tell me more Dr. Phil"

Dude I'm really not trying to be a prick. I just had friends in a similar situation. They moved in with the parents and it put a real strain on things. The mom was ALWAYS knocking on the door, like every hour for stupid shit. My boy started getting pissed about it and she of course defended the parents. Got pretty hairy for a while.

Meiz said...

Back in business. It was the version of Firefox. Laaaame.

isiah thompson said...

Back in business. It was the version of Firefox. Laaaame.


read: operator error

Meiz said...

You're wrong

isiah thompson said...

right click this, ratard*

El Padrino said...

"EP, first thing you do when you move in and tell them how much better it is in NY."

they already know this, they lived there forever before moving to the armpit of america 4 years ago

El Padrino said...

"Dude I'm really not trying to be a prick. I just had friends in a similar situation. They moved in with the parents and it put a real strain on things. The mom was ALWAYS knocking on the door, like every hour for stupid shit. My boy started getting pissed about it and she of course defended the parents. Got pretty hairy for a while."

thanks but this wont happen

Aitch said...

Then best of luck EP

El Padrino said...

thanks chowda head

Meiz said...

Go to Jersey.

I'd have moved back home for a while if I could stand being around my old man.

blue said...

when in-laws, or even my parents come to stay for a week, i hate them after 3 or 4 days...

couldn't imagine trying to do that full time..


and i get along well with them

Keith S said...

"they already know this, they lived there forever before moving to the armpit of america 4 years ago"


NYC is the hair of the armpit

Keith S said...

"when in-laws, or even my parents come to stay for a week, i hate them after 3 or 4 days...

couldn't imagine trying to do that full time..


and i get along well with them"



^THAT^

El Padrino said...

"couldn't imagine trying to do that full time..


and i get along well with them"



^THAT^"


no shit, i go there on sundays and want to leave after 2 hours

Keith S said...

There's probably more OGs in Jersey

Meiz said...

Going here for this, this weekend.

El Padrino said...

those fish look dangerous, be careful meiz

isiah thompson said...

I still can't believe Jug is dead.

RIP

Meiz said...

"those fish look dangerous, be careful meiz"


Walleye are gravy. I haven't had a real chance to actually angle for them in years.

Meiz said...

Mepps #4 with a bucktail.

DET

blue said...

trying to finalize the "menu" for the company suite at the beisbol game next thursday...

fucking women want salads and shit

blue said...

how did jug die?

Meiz said...

"fucking women want salads and shit"


Hell to the no. Ballpark food only.

Meiz said...

Blue, which sweet package are you guys using?


• Corporate Suites: Game tickets and private use of a suite for 12 to 20 people

• RocHenge Super Suites: Game tickets and private use of a suite for 36 to 60 people

• Summit Party Suites: Game tickets and private use of a suite for 12 to 75 people

• Warning Track Party Room: Game tickets and private use of the room for 50 to 90 people

• Mezzanine Party Suites: Game tickets and private use of a suite for 22 to 200 people

Keith S said...

"fucking women want salads and shit"

uninvite them

Keith S said...

jug was a magnificent sonofabitch

El Padrino said...

YOUR MY BOY JUG!

El Padrino said...

ALL WE ARE IS DUST IN THE
WIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNDDDD

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOO

El Padrino said...

block

El Padrino said...

block

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 279   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino