Monday, July 13, 2009

Welcome back, EP!!

What a weekend it was. Brock Lesnar showed what kind of badas. he really is. But he also showed that his douchebaggery >>>>>>>>>>>>>> than his badas.ery. Dude thinks he’s still in rassling and that yelling during interviews is cool.

Lance Armstrong still has one ball.

Manny Acta tolt the Spanish ESPN that he’s been fired. I wish I spoke Spanish so I could confirm it. But I can tell you this. ESPN in Spanish is ESPN. Knowing is knowledge.

Kim Jong Il has Patrick Swayze's disease. Sucks for him. Good for America

Last week was not one of my better weeks of LoV bets. Losing 4 bets within 48 hours of each other suckt. I’m paying off zeke today. Tuesday I’ll pay Tyler. Wednesday I’ll pay off TP. Thursday I’ll pay off tem. Goddman.

And now a special treat for EP. While he was on vacation, I put together a little bit of a This Is Your Life episode for him and the rest of you can play along too…

1) Who is EP’s all-time favorite baseball player?
2) Who is EP’s favorite Ultimate Fighter?
3) EP’s favorite all-time NASCAR driver is?
4) Do we all remember EP’s favorite NBA player?
5) And have we all been made aware of his favorite store?
6) I’d be surprised if anyone can guess EP’s NHL rolldog.
7) When EP needs a lawyer after the credit card company sues him, who does he call?
8) When EP needs to burn off some steam, what does he do?
9) If EP’s been smoking some dope, what does he like to munch on?
10) And finally, who can guess EP’s favorite actor?

The answers are listed below. But first, we’ll have a word from our sponsors.

Has anyone seen the previews for this new reality show called More to Love? What a hilarity concept. Cmk is appalled by the show, but I like the idea behind it. Fatties shouldn’t just have reality shows about losing weight. Pigs need lovin’ too.


Answers:
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5
6
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9
10


My pick for the HR derby is Joe Mauer.


Go comment

704 comments:

1 – 200 of 704   Newer›   Newest»
blue said...

that's a lot of dicks

Beth said...

Nice post Keith and pretty funny EP quiz.

El Padrino said...

wow that took some efforting, you just wasted like an hour of your life insinuting I like dong

well done

El Padrino said...

you must have really missed me

El Padrino said...

and that's what gotti gets, never marry a stripper

El Padrino said...

i want to know how the 100 lb woman put a purse strap around his neck and tightened it and he was unable to A) throw her off him or B) loosen up the strap

El Padrino said...

even in my deepest sleep i would hope i would feel my wife putting a strap around my neck

El Padrino said...

fucking woman

first mcnair and then gatti

control yourselves you whores

El Padrino said...

sluts

El Padrino said...

goldigging pirate hookers

El Padrino said...

psycho cunts

El Padrino said...

ironic that gatti fought men in a ring but got kilt by a tiny woman

El Padrino said...

niggas cant even sleep, damn

Steve said...

Brock Lesnar destroyed that dude. The yelling was kinda gay, but i thought it was cool when he walked over imediatly after he knocked his ass out and gave the ole "You can talk all the shit you want too, now." And the coors light comment was kinda funny.

Steve said...

That's more dong than any other LOV post, ever.

I'm thinking Keith might have enjoyed that research a little more than EP enjoyed reading it.

Steve said...

"even in my deepest sleep i would hope i would feel my wife putting a strap around my neck"


maybe he was used to getting freaky like that.

El Padrino said...

S&M sex is the worse

El Padrino said...

just ask david carridine

blue said...

dirty sex is bad for your health

blue said...

"just ask david carridine"

and billy mays

El Padrino said...

i knew billy mays was using that magic putty in filthy ways

blue said...

it was that auger thing that did him in for sure

Beth said...

Sex sex sex, it's all you guys think about. ISBNS.

S

Steve said...

"S&M sex is the worse"

"dirty sex is bad for your health"

says the two married dudes. your ideas of a wild time is probably any sex outside the bedroom.

--------------------------------

"Bathroom Sex...YES!!!"

/ep
/blue

blue said...

"sex with a human...awesome"


/steve

El Padrino said...

nah, i'm a dirty motherfucker but s&m is not my style

Beth said...

"nah, i'm a dirty motherfucker but s&m is not my style"

I find it hard to believe that you're not the type that loves to slap some ass and tug on some hair during sex EP. That's just a mild form of s&m you realize.

Steve said...

""sex with a human...awesome"


/steve"


well played, sir.

Steve said...

"I find it hard to believe that any guy is not the type that loves to slap some ass and tug on some hair during sex."


*fixed

El Padrino said...

"I find it hard to believe that you're not the type that loves to slap some ass and tug on some hair during sex EP. That's just a mild form of s&m you realize."

ok so i'm a mild fan

just not into hanging by my balls with some rope or being tied to a wheel while gagged and spanked

shit like that

Beth said...

You're a giver, not a receiver, got it.

Beth said...

Good fix steve.

blue said...

ever seen "heartbreak kid"? that chick liked the rough sex.

Steve said...

"Now listen to me and listen to me good! When your wife, on her honeymoon, asks you to cock her, you cock her good, God damn it!"

blue said...

"i think i am cocking you"

blue said...

american idol auditions are here tomorrow...lots of auditioners hanging out downtown yesterday

tem said...

i thought lesnar was total douche until the coors light comment and then the climbing on his wife comment.

then i decided he is just 90% douche.

Beth said...

For those of us with zero interest in watching UFC, what exactly were the coors light on climbing on the wife comments?

tem said...

GSPs corner man was funny


GSP: I think I pulled my groin.

corner man: I don't care about your groin, hit him in the face with your groin.

GSP: ::blank stare::

tem said...

"what exactly were the coors light on climbing on the wife comments?"

first it is important to know that bud light is a HUGE UFC sponsor now.

anyway, in his interview after the fight he walked around yelling for awhile, flipped off the crowd, yelled some more and finally calmed down enough to say something like:

"i'm going home to hang out with my family...i'm going to drink some ice cold coors light. i don't drink bud light because it sucks and they won't pay me anything. so i'm going to drink some coors light, celebrate the win and then after that i might even climb on top of my wife for awhile."

Beth said...

Ahhhh ok, now I get it, thanks tem.

Jugdish said...

Lesner was the better in his post fight press conference because he was drinking a bud light and apologizing.

blue said...

kod approved of that message


and yes bud light does suck..partly because they won't pay me any money eitehr

El Padrino said...

his wife, as we all know, is Sable from old WWF fame sable

tem said...

"Lesner was the better in his post fight press conference because he was drinking a bud light and apologizing."

i figured he'd get in big trouble.

Jugdish said...

11. what are ep's favorite jeans?


11

Jugdish said...

apparently dana white chewed his ass, and henderson for the 2nd hit

Jugdish said...

keef should have to make a bet with someone here everyday until he wins won.

tem said...

"apparently dana white chewed his ass, and henderson for the 2nd hit"

yeah after henderson said he did the second hit on purpose i figured he'd get in trouble too.

tem said...

GSP probably got extra money because hendo and lesnar were douches and GSP was cool.

tem said...

fitch fighting after the main event was hilarity.

also it was a shitty fight.


no undercard fights being shown sucked.

Steve said...

henderson should be suspended or kicked out or something.

that was stupid, he could have killed the guy.

Jugdish said...

i think hendo got the knockout bonus

tem said...

hendo and brock might have been the only KOs during the night.

tem said...

bisping was already out cold, he didn't feel that last shot at all.

El Padrino said...

vidyo please

Jugdish said...

fedor's last fight for affliction under his current contract is aug 1

Jugdish said...

spiff posted 2 of them yest after comment 800

El Padrino said...

man yesterday, damn

tem said...

i haven't seen much of fedor.

he hasn't fought anyone really good since i became a fan of MMA.

Jugdish said...

ive just watched him on youtube

El Padrino said...

ok saw it

whipty damn do

El Padrino said...

boxing is still >>>>> ufc

Jugdish said...

negative ghostrider

El Padrino said...

opinion

Jugdish said...

troof

El Padrino said...

zeke, is diego corrales and gatti sparring in heaven right now?

Jugdish said...

dude!

El Padrino said...

oh it's albert pujols week

great

Spaceman Spiff said...

"henderson should be suspended or kicked out or something.

that was stupid, he could have killed the guy."

steves one of those guys. they fight until the ref stops it, once the ref touched him he immediately stopped. some dudes get rocked and recover

during a rampage-wandy fight, rampage KOd wandy, then threw like 3 shots to wandy's face whilst the ref was draped all over him, he shouldve been punished, but wasnt. henderson wont get punished, his comment was the problem, not his actions

tem said...

" his comment was the problem, not his actions"


this^

blue said...

Eric Young Jr hit one out in the "futures" game yesterday.

rockies future 2b unless they trade him for roy halladay...ahahahahaahahahahah


so he's their future 2b

Spaceman Spiff said...

bisping is such a douche, made the KO so much suiter

Spaceman Spiff said...

GSP trainer was talking to him like a child when he was praising him, that was funny too.

tem said...

MArtin-Gordon 1-2 NASCAR finish got some family $1,000,000.

tem said...

"GSP trainer was talking to him like a child when he was praising him, that was funny too."

yeah, i could go on and on about how funny that trainer is.

i think he is the phil jackson of MMA.

Steve said...

"they fight until the ref stops it"

"his comment was the problem, not his actions"

no problem with either one of these. but when the dude says he knew he was out and hit him anyway to teach him a lesson he should be punished.

EVERYBODY should be one of "those guys".

tem said...

"bisping is such a douche"


i was way wrong about bisbing. thought he was much better than that. now i am not even sure how he won any fights or took rashard the distance.

blue said...

i don't want to be a retard

tem said...

rogan thinking belcher got robbed was redonk.

tem says belcher lost all 3 rounds.

blue said...

it's all fixed neways

tem said...

your face is fixed.

Spaceman Spiff said...

yea bisping sucks, will never be champion, but i think he did worse in this fight because he got scurred. think he got a taste of a couple right hands and when hendo wrapped him up, he couldnt move, he realized he was overmatched

El Padrino said...

Obama to join broadcast booth for baseball All-Star Game...

Spaceman Spiff said...

"rogan thinking belcher got robbed was redonk."

rogan contradicted himself in the fight and yea ROBBED is a strong word. akiyama had all the takedowns, those are huge, and rogan knows it

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Obama to join broadcast booth for baseball All-Star Game..."

no doubt his first pitch will be < bush's

Spaceman Spiff said...

theres an audi in the new transformers

tem said...

"akiyama had all the takedowns, those are huge, and rogan knows it"


akiyama just flat out won that fight. i say 30-27. my buddy says 29-28. i can understand the 29-28, but i can't see how anyone thinks belcher won.

tem said...

"theres an audi in the new transformers"

megan fox has an innie.

Jugdish said...

maybe he can host the oscar's too

tem said...

and a club thumb

/zeke

Spaceman Spiff said...

other girl in the movie was hot, but i looked her up and shes not as hot as they made her look

Steve said...

"other girl in the movie was hot, but i looked her up and shes not as hot as they made her look"


who is she?

El Padrino said...

"Welcome back, EP!!"

thanks

Steve said...

Why I watch Entourage

El Padrino said...

is there a naked sloan

Spaceman Spiff said...

"i want to know how the 100 lb woman put a purse strap around his neck and tightened it"

meiz said something about him being hit in the head first. dont know if it was his theory or if he read something

El Padrino said...

ah, so while asleep, knock him out with a blow to the head, then choke him

solid plan,
fucking cunt

Spaceman Spiff said...

"who is she?"

isabel lucas

El Padrino said...

'Lindsey Lohan' was offered the part of the stripper in the movie but turned it down. She did not like the script and thought the movie would bomb. Heather Graham was given the role instead."


moron

tem said...

el pad, thoughts on church/francouer trade?

D Wright's personal catcher said...

"keef should have to make a bet with someone here everyday until he wins won."

I want to win more than won

El Padrino said...

"el pad, thoughts on church/francouer trade?"

not as bad as i thought, francouer is 25 years old and has power, plays a strong of and smiles all the time

church is a good player when he has protection in the lineup and he gets exposed when he doesnt

really is a wash, but more upside for the mets, they own frank for 2 years i think, then arbitration and if he turns out to be the 06 version next year or this 2nd half then it's a damn good trade

also he's not spanish

ToddPacker said...

"el pad, thoughts on church/francouer trade?"

crap for younger crap

ToddPacker said...

ufc still sucks

D Wright's personal catcher said...

FMLB should not have matchups during All-Star week. 4 days is dumb

ToddPacker said...

the mess are not good... the reds are worst*

El Padrino said...

tp you think the mess are dunzo, not even a WC spot?

Jugdish said...

no old guys like ufc...its science

blue said...

rockies are gonna win the WC

tem said...

HUNGRY

ToddPacker said...

keith, you left this guy off the ep quiz

El Padrino said...

vagina talk

El Padrino said...

Richards are the worse

El Padrino said...

spiff,

beer battered deep fried crab cake

DET

ToddPacker said...

"tp you think the mess are dunzo, not even a WC spot?"

probably, watching the game yesterday, ron darling broke down what they would have to do in the second half to win the division (90-92 wins)... don't see that happening, but you never know. maybe they can pull a reverse choke... gotta get healthy fast

D Wright's personal catcher said...

"but you never know. maybe they can pull a reverse choke"

TP speaks spanish

ToddPacker said...

"TP speaks spanish"

latin

El Padrino said...

swine latin

D Wright's personal catcher said...

Fucking redonk

D Wright's personal catcher said...

Halladay & Lincecum starting the AS game

blue said...

and to think, he was the douchy DJ that Jaime and Danny used to tease and make fun of on STAR, back in the day.

El Padrino said...

A WOMAN is suing an Egyptian hotel claiming her daughter got pregnant - from using the swimming pool.
Magdalena Kwiatkowska’s 13-year-old returned to Poland from their holiday expecting a baby.

Magdalena believes the teenager conceived from stray sperm after taking a dip in the hotel’s mixed pool. She is now seeking compensation from the hotel.

A travel industry source said: “The mother is adamant that her daughter didn’t meet any boys while she was there.

“She is determined to go ahead with the case.”


bitch please

El Padrino said...

ddo cracks a windshield with his head

blue said...

that's Travis Henry's contention as well.

i didn't father all them kids...them bitches just swam in the pool after i was in there.

isiah thompson said...

Obama to join broadcast booth for baseball All-Star Game...

he still doesn't get that he's the POTUS and not a regular celebrity.

the public is getting it though - just look at his approval rating.

isiah thompson said...

Obama to join broadcast booth for baseball All-Star Game...


I wonder what they'll do when he unrolls his prayer mat and axes "which way is west?"

isiah thompson said...

Mickey Ward better watch out. He's forever linked to Gatti in life.....and death?

D Wright's personal catcher said...

Pedro flying to Philly to take a physical

Steve said...

cussing is a pain killer

El Padrino said...

cant believe philly is paying him, also that ballpark is dangerous

El Padrino said...

i'm actually pissed he's going there, not sure why

El Padrino said...

if i'm texas, why not get halladay?
wouldnt that put them over the top or at least give them some credibilty, you know they have the farm system to get it done especially if they take on Rios and dangle cruz or Davis

blue said...

Rockies have plenty of prospects as well, and would push them over the top this season and maybe even next.

problem is they don't want to "rent" him for a year and a half, which i kind of agree with, but think of how much money they'd make if they got him...they pushed really hard to get him 2 years ago and riccardi wouldn't even call them back i guess.

tem said...

because

Meiz said...

"meiz said something about him being hit in the head first. dont know if it was his theory or if he read something"


Read it on some Brazilian news site

El Padrino said...

"problem is they don't want to "rent" him for a year and a half, which i kind of agree with, but think of how much money they'd make if they got him...they pushed really hard to get him 2 years ago and riccardi wouldn't even call them back i guess."

well the key is you have to sing him long term, otherwise forget it

D Wright's personal catcher said...

"Read it on some Brazilian news site"

Ah, so you speak spanish.

/aitch

blue said...

brazilians speak portuguese. but good try

tem said...

in de face

blue said...

^^

El Padrino said...

line ups out

lincecum is ugly

Aitch said...

"Lindsey Lohan' was offered the part of the stripper in the movie but turned it down. She did not like the script and thought the movie would bomb. Heather Graham was given the role instead."

What movie is this talking about?

isiah thompson said...

What movie is this talking about?

The Hangover?

isiah thompson said...

for real dough...Bruno....wow, I'd imagine that's what gay porn is like.

blue said...

hilarity


how was it zeke? really awkward?

isiah thompson said...

how was it zeke? really awkward?


had to look away in a few parts, cried laughing in a few others.

I'm shocked and surprised that movie hasn't received a ton of criticism.

tem said...

Bruno in Ohio is an animated short.

I guess we just get different versions of the movies here.

Meiz said...

You had to know what you were getting yourself into with Bruno

D Wright's personal catcher said...

"brazilians speak portuguese. but good try"

See that part where I put "/aitch"?

D Wright's personal catcher said...

"for real dough...Bruno....wow, I'd imagine that's what gay porn is like."

cmk went with her sisters to see it this weekend. She mentioned all the dong, which means I'll stay away

isiah thompson said...

You had to know what you were getting yourself into with Bruno

Actually I nevre* really watched "Ali G" on hbo, but from the few times I watched and from the previews you get an idea.

But hotdamn he goes full blown homo in that movie.

Meiz said...

You never go full homo

Spaceman Spiff said...

'bruno' is a full blown homo

El Padrino said...

very gay, el p will not watch

isiah thompson said...

dong and graphic gay activity abound, I'd recommend staying away.

El Padrino said...

"The Hangover?"

yes

isiah thompson said...

'bruno' is a full blown homo

right, but is SBC a homo? I'd question if he isn't after that movie.

blue said...

he's married to the red head from wedding crashers

isiah thompson said...

he's married to the red head from wedding crashers

I know, after watching Bruno though it might be a Jeff Garcia like cover-up.

isiah thompson said...

you know the gay scene in Borat with the fat guy?

Bruno is about 100 times more homo than that but for an hour and a half.

El Padrino said...

you cant act like a gay on a movie then be all straight at home

fuck that, he's a gay

D Wright's personal catcher said...

EP is thinking "Note to self" right now

blue said...

he is BRUNO

D Wright's personal catcher said...

Watch out, freak

Meiz said...

"Mark Mulder, LHP, free agent - Mulder will be in Cincinnati this week to work with his former coach from Michigan State, putting the finishing touches on his rehab from major shoulder surgery. He’s worked out his arm slot and now has to perfect his stride. "I’m hoping that by the last week of July we can start entertaining offers,’’ said his agent, Gregg Clifton. "It doesn’t appear he’s going to need much time in the minors because he’s been throwing all along.’’ The Dodgers, Brewers, and Phillies have remained interested."


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! No no no no no no!

Aitch said...

$68.50 cab fare, no tip. I fuckin hate people. Oh and I dropped her off at her million dollar house with a benz in the driveway

Meiz said...

Suck it, New York

Meiz said...

"$68.50 cab fare, no tip. I fuckin hate people. Oh and I dropped her off at her million dollar house with a benz in the driveway"


These are the same people I deal with all day

El Padrino said...

rich people think the tip is included

El Padrino said...

ny is never on those lists

D Wright's personal catcher said...

cuz it's not a grate* place to lvie

D Wright's personal catcher said...

live

Spaceman Spiff said...

"I think the tip is included"

*fized

El Padrino said...

then why is it the most populous?

Meiz said...

"ny is never on those lists"


None of the non-Caput Mundi cities are either.

blue said...

China has more people than the US, does that make it better

blue said...

or India?


NY is the India of US cities.

blue said...

"then why is it the most populous?"

because of the weather

El Padrino said...

ah who cares
life blows no matter where you live

El Padrino said...

mine as well eat good

Meiz said...

Its just food

El Padrino said...

wow, kim k

blue said...

fucking toe rings...how gay can you be

isiah thompson said...

NY is the India of US cities.

hilarity

El Padrino said...

popeye jones kid is a redonk hockey player

go figure

blue said...

does he have goofy eyes too?

isiah thompson said...

Popeye Jones is the black version of Sloth.

El Padrino said...

puke

El Padrino said...

that article is hilarious

El Padrino said...

Mr Fava said that relations between blacks and white had been generally good, though crime had increased. “Alligator is a quiet town, except when we get that Voodoo and Rap music.

El Padrino said...

"But he do the same thing they do, drinking beer and stuff. You’ve got to stay at home and study the town. Alligator is the kind of place where if you leave your door open, when you come back there ain’t nothing in your house.

El Padrino said...

Some youngsters ran into Mr Fava’s store to taunt him. “They was pulling down their pants, shouting, ’Kiss my black ass, because we got a black mayor’, swinging their things around and throwing stuff,” said Jennifer Green, 31, a black mother of 10.

El Padrino said...

31 years old, mother of ten

fuck people man

blue said...

not much to do in alligator i guess

D Wright's personal catcher said...

"NY is the India of US cities."

TOTPM

D Wright's personal catcher said...

I just talked to some student who is starting in school soon. She said that her life is going to change because she just finished filming an HBO documentary that is going to air in January. I axed what the documentary was and she says "Umm, I don't really want to say. Oh, whatever. It's called Real Sex, have you ever heard of that?"

My response was ::dead air::

El Padrino said...

real sex 98

El Padrino said...

your face is totpm

El Padrino said...

older

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