Friday, July 10, 2009

The Weekly Messtache

Victorino & Inge got the final All-Star spots. I really think Pablo and Adam Lind should be there.

From HOF baseball writer Hal McCoy:
WHAT I WOULD like to do right now is walk into the media dining room and kick out the plugs on three computers. Fans are voting for the final roster spot for the All-Star game and the Phillies are in an all-out campaign to get Shane Victorino on the team.

The Phillies have three young men in the dining room sitting at laptops punching in Victorino’s name every few seconds. And they are doing it non-stop, nearly around the clock. So when Victorino wins you’ll know it wasn’t a fan vote at all.

Can’t anybody do anything honestly any more? If it were up to me I’d vote for the Phillie Phanatic to be the last player on the NL roster. The guy is hilarious.


Yes, I voted for Noodle Arm over 2,500 times last year(ns), but to have a team of guys employed just to vote...That's some bullshit, right there.

Bomani Jones put DeMarcus Ware in The Homeboy Hall Of Fame


Why can't people do a decent job when they call 911? Seriously. Just say it. I'm at Steve McNair's condo, and he's fucking dead. He was shot in the head, and chest.

The Mets suck. So do the Brewers.

America's favorite pothead broke the 100m Butterfly world record.

The Dong Derby should be a good one this year with The Arbiter, Fat Boy, ADRIAN!!!, and Ryan Howard representing the NL. Oh, the AL? I don't give a flying fuck about them.


Be Kind, Rewind. Not a good movie, yet I watch it frequently.


Michael, Michael on YouTube


Michael, Michael for Windows Media Player and download HERE

Here's Skeets on the Marion Deal.


Whew. I had to eat some nachos. I don't feel as hammered, now. I'm running out of gas.

Here's my current favorite song. Maybe I put it on LOM. I don't recall. Mutron Angel.

Semi-related to the Bad Ink link I posted last night...Here's some chicks that caught fish. There are a few lookers peppered in there. A girl that can fish is hawt. #7 has some treemendous falsies.

Tomorrow is UFC 100, yes? Don't ask me about it. Talk to Keith & Tem.

I'm much more charming on IMs than I am in person. Woe.


I leave you with this: Kermit & Fozzie gettin' the job done. Don't act like you don't love this movie.

846 comments:

1 – 200 of 846   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

I shoulda known better than to jinx Hanson like that yesterday dammit.

And 11 links and 2 videos in 1 post must be some kind of LOV record. Well done mize.

Jugdish said...

title of the post was hilarity

Aitch said...

Nice post

Aitch said...

Good morning to LOV's Southern belle.

Aitch said...

Good news for me is no hangover.

Aitch said...

I'm listening to Jeff Foxworthy. I forget that he is quite funny.

Aitch said...

I chased everyone away

Aitch said...

Beth, have you guys set a date yet?

Aitch said...

LOV seems dead without EP to make fun of.

Aitch said...

I wonder how tem's project is working out.

Aitch said...

Ink is itching like hell.

Aitch said...

I wonder how long I can go unchecked

Jugdish said...

check

Aitch said...

Can't believe Sox lost to the fuckin Royals

Jugdish said...

jug will be away from the pc all morning starting in about 5 minutes

Aitch said...

I'm bored. Another slow day in the cab.

Aitch said...

Gonna be a busy weekend.

Beth said...

"Beth, have you guys set a date yet?"

Nope.

Beth said...

"I'm listening to Jeff Foxworthy. I forget that he is quite funny."

I know someone whose daughter is friends with Foxworthy's daughter and from what she's seen and heard he's supposed to be just a genuinely nice guy too.

ToddPacker said...

"I'm listening to Jeff Foxworthy. I forget that he is quite funny."

erroneous

ToddPacker said...

nice post meiz... even the title was funny

ToddPacker said...

the mess didn't even compete last night... what else is new

Beth said...

"erroneous"

TP has been spoiled from when he used to go and see that young, up and coming comic Henny Youngman.

ToddPacker said...

"TP has been spoiled from when he used to go and see that young, up and coming comic Henny Youngman."

surprised you didn't go for charlie chaplan on the old man joke

Beth said...

I was trying to remember the oldest comic I could think of, I forgot about Chaplan or I'd have certainly used him. :-)

Aitch said...

Yea, Henny Youngman got a ::Fred Astaire:: from me.

ToddPacker said...

nats, pirates, d-backs and pads are the only NL teams with a worst* record than the mess.... terrible

ToddPacker said...

"Good news for me is no hangover."

good for you h... maybe you're still drunk

Beth said...

nats, pirates, d-backs and pads are the only NL teams with a worst* record than the mess.... fantastic

*fixed

ToddPacker said...

"nats, pirates, d-backs and pads are the only NL teams with a worst* record than the mess.... fantastic

*fixed"

the braves are only 0.5 games ahead of the mess

ToddPacker said...

keith, since ep is out, i'll take you up on the reds/mess bet

Aitch said...

Ding dong LOV is dead.

Beth said...

Wow, we may not reach 50 today...

Spaceman Spiff said...

"A girl that can fish is hawt."

meiz thinks his sister is hawt, got it

Beth said...

Then me and mize have something in common.

Meiz said...

"meiz thinks his sister is hawt, got it"


My sister cannot fish. She's the EP of fishing. Worm, hook, bobber, and let me know if something bites.

Meiz said...

That said, I can't fish for a lick either, apparently.

isiah thompson said...

unblockt, blessed be

Keith S said...

"I'm listening to Jeff Foxworthy. I forget that he is quite funny."

Stop it

Keith S said...

"keith, since ep is out, i'll take you up on the reds/mess bet"


Roger. 1 day is fine with me

ToddPacker said...

"Roger. 1 day is fine with me"

i can't guarantee my comment count on monday, so if i don't comment enough i'll extend it to tuesday

ToddPacker said...

i'm already assuming that the mets will lose the series

ToddPacker said...

bike riding and ufc on wwl front page.... weak

isiah thompson said...

how many years did Lance take off? 2? and he's right back up on top? cycling must really suck.

blue said...

lance is a homo

Spaceman Spiff said...

lance took 2 years off from cycling, but not from juicing

blue said...

i want lance to lose so sheryl crow can tell him to "suck it hater"

Steve said...

"cycling must really suck."

MJ took 2 years off (almost) and came back and won 3 championships.

Steve said...

course, he wasn't pushing 40.

isiah thompson said...

MJ took 2 years off (almost) and came back and won 3 championships.

I was hoping someone would bring this up.

MJ also re-invented himself as a player. He went from an attacking/slashing wing to a fade-away jump shooter by the end of his career - and was still affective.

Can you really "re-invent" yourself as a cyclist as you get older? Don't you need to have the same level of stamina and skillz as you always had? Maybe you can? I'm not a big cycling fan but it would seem that if you were around 40 years old and took 2 years off your game would never be the same.

isiah thompson said...

effective

isiah thompson said...

effect this retard

Jugdish said...

you had it right the first time...

s

Jugdish said...

I don't know anything about cycling, but maybe strategery would change some. From what I read he has a hell of a cardiovascular system too. tem can confirm that, he is the resident scientist

isiah thompson said...

strategery

I'm too stoopid about cycling to know if he could change his game around due to age and a presumed decline in skill level.

plus he's only got 1 ball.

isiah thompson said...

"plus he's only got 1 ball."

who cares about balls, let's talk about dong.

/EP


RIP

isiah thompson said...

45$K for ringside UFC seats this weekend.

wft

blue said...

i don't know about riding a bike...but i do know that MJ took two years off and then came back and sucked cock with the Wizards

Meiz said...

Lance is only 37. He ain't that old.

blue said...

he's always only had one nut.

makes him more aerodynamic

isiah thompson said...

changing sizes for fatties, maybe they can do something about lack of height next

isiah thompson said...

i don't know about riding a bike...but i do know that MJ took two years off and then came back and sucked cock with the Wizards

dat's what I'm saying

blue said...

MJ also put on about 35 pounds in those 2 years though too

isiah thompson said...

seems like the ASG is really late this year....wft.

Jugdish said...

makes him more aerodynamic


but slightly off balance

Jugdish said...

sucked cock with the Wizards


actually his numbers weren't THAT bad, but they are the Wizards so what do you expect?

blue said...

"seems like the ASG is really late this year....wft"

becuase it's on EST

blue said...

price is write* is awful now

Jugdish said...

i wish espn would stop playing the patrick chewing commercial

Keith S said...

what's a cycling?

blue said...

drew carey says "uh" a lot

Keith S said...

"Tomorrow is UFC 100, yes? Don't ask me about it. Talk to Keith & Tem."


Don't axe me about it. I'm gonna be camping.

Keith S said...

I wonder how many move Visas EP maxed out this week

Keith S said...

I keep thinking that Mir is gonna be Lesnar, but then I remember that it's all fized* and UFC needs Lesnar to win.

isiah thompson said...

back to back HDH for keef


well done sir

isiah thompson said...

do you think EP gets pissed when he goes to Coney Island and is too short to ride the rides?

Keith S said...

"back to back HDH for keef"

Wow.

Keith S said...

Coming into work an hour early has me shook

isiah thompson said...

d-bags had free tacos all but sealed up last night, then the 8th inning happened.

Keith S said...

Police say two women bringing young children to an Ohio park found the body of man hanging from playground equipment.
Police Capt. Rick Myers in Stow, about 25 miles southeast of Cleveland, says it's fortunate the children were under 2 and that no other youngsters were in the park Thursday afternoon.
He says the sight could have been traumatic for older children.
Myers says the 49-year-old man was hanging by knotted clothes. The medical examiner will determine the cause of death.

Keith S said...

"d-bags had free tacos all but sealed up last night, then the 8th inning happened."


I don't think they have to win. They just have to score more than 6.

isiah thompson said...

I don't think they have to win. They just have to score more than 6.


suite

Keith S said...

fuck al gore

isiah thompson said...

they put up a stat about the 8th inning last night, something like the d-bags have given up 80 some runs in the 8th and only scored 50ish.

Keith S said...

The Mess said the Dbags were awful

isiah thompson said...

Frank Gore will gore you too.

Meiz said...

Scam lady keeps coming back. I'm just about ready to start getting nasty.

isiah thompson said...

pets on airlines....wft

But not every traveler has had smooth experiences with pets on board.

Terry Trippler, a travel expert, recalls an unpleasant incident years ago when a dog had diarrhea three rows in front of him.

"You could certainly smell it," he wrote in an e-mail. "The only real way to solve the problem is no pets in the cabin."

isiah thompson said...

think if you paid 500$ for a flight and had to sit in the doggy diarrhea seat

blue said...

airlines need to make money anyway possible

Meiz said...

Government run airlines!

isiah thompson said...

Thanks Osama!

isiah thompson said...

just wait till someone falls out from pet allergies at 35000 feet (like that lady says in the article) or a pet goes nuts and starts attacking people.

charging three hundo for a pet ain't covering the insurance premiums and lawsuit costs for the airline. stow poochie away with the rest of the luggage.

isiah thompson said...

this country done gone crazy about pets.

ToddPacker said...

"this country done gone crazy about pets."

pets suck

isiah thompson said...

pets suck

KILL!

KILL!

KILL!

ToddPacker said...

"Lance is only 37. He ain't that old."

this comment made me feel good

isiah thompson said...

keef did you get ASU season tix? the commercials have started back up.

isiah thompson said...

this comment made me feel good

it said 37 not 73, gramps.

isiah thompson said...

HUNDO!

isiah thompson said...

hundo is the new hotness

Keith S said...

"pets suck"

GFY

ToddPacker said...

"it said 37 not 73, gramps."

hahaha

Keith S said...

"keef did you get ASU season tix?"

I couldn't get them this year because of the wedding and getting a house, and they needed the $600 payment in February. So my buddy bought it off of me. I might buy it back from him next year or just get a new one.

Keith S said...

Pets suck if they have crazy owners who treat them like people and don't discipline them.

Keith S said...

And if you're thinking I'm talking about csilok, then you are smrt

Keith S said...

Are you ok, beth?

isiah thompson said...

Pets suck if they have crazy owners who treat them like people and don't discipline them.


TROOF.

I grab a dog. I choke him and I kick the shit out of him. All day long got my foot up a dog's ass. Just bang, bang, bang up his ass. That's my pleasure.

ToddPacker said...

"I couldn't get them this year because of the wedding and getting a house, and they needed the $600 payment in February. So my buddy bought it off of me. I might buy it back from him next year or just get a new one."

that terrible... maybe you should put the tickets on a cc

Keith S said...

"that terrible... maybe you should put the tickets on a cc"

Younger keef would have done that.

isiah thompson said...

BREAKING NEWS:

Grant Hill has signed with the PHX Suns.

2 year deal. 3 to 3.5 mil/yr

ToddPacker said...

that hdh

isiah thompson said...

BREAKING NEWS:

The PHX Suns are close to signing Channing Frye.

isiah thompson said...

BREAKING NEWS:

NOONE GIVES A FUCK

Keith S said...

I was thisclose to saying IDGAF

Keith S said...

zeke will appreciate this

blue said...

damn, there goes 2 of the nuggets "prospects" for signing in free agency

blue said...

funny stuff by as.

ToddPacker said...

GIMME BACK MY PLANTERS

ToddPacker said...

bert made the list twice?

Keith S said...

If you pay $8000 for 2 flower planters, you deserve to have them stoled

isiah thompson said...

zeke will appreciate this

suite

ToddPacker said...

"If you pay $8000 for 2 flower planters, you deserve to have them stoled"

brady ♥s flowers

blue said...

really, brady needs that $4k

isiah thompson said...

FYI:

UM got a verbal from Tim Hardaway's kid recently.

Hopefully we'll hear more anti-fag stuff from Sr. in the next few years.

isiah thompson said...

T ♥s flowers

*fized

Keith S said...

"UM got a verbal from Tim Hardaway's kid recently."

For bassetball*?

Keith S said...

T ♥s expensive flowers

**fized

isiah thompson said...

For bassetball*?

yes

Keith S said...

How much are they paying him?

blue said...

i thought the WV dude liked white guys?

Keith S said...

Huggins likes black guys

isiah thompson said...

How much are they paying him?

probably below market value since his dad has lootcakes.

isiah thompson said...

How much are they paying him?

Coach Beilein was recently appointed president of the NCAA coaches's ethics committee. (ns)

isiah thompson said...

i thought the WV dude liked white guys?

UM has only signed 1 black dood since Coach B took over and even he was a Carlton Banks type brotha.

isiah thompson said...

coaches's


looks good to me

Keith S said...

"Coach Beilein was recently appointed president of the NCAA coaches's ethics committee. "

It's just a title

blue said...

coach B hates the fab 5

Keith S said...

I hate T-Mobile, too

blue said...

but how do you feel about boobs

Keith S said...

On girls? Great.

Steve said...

ALL HAIL CAPUCHINO!!


Stevefast?

isiah thompson said...

Warrenfast?

*fized


and yes it is

Meiz said...

Chocolate milk and a doughnut.

Deeelicious

Keith S said...

I can hear you getting fatter

Keith S said...

But that does sound tasty

isiah thompson said...

milk was a bad choice

Keith S said...

The milk and donut, not you getting fatter

Meiz said...

"I can hear you getting fatter"


You're the one with the shell...on..your...brain

Keith S said...

thin candy shell, der.

I hate when they fuck up the words

isiah thompson said...

did I hear a niner?

Jugdish said...

no, it was cordless.

isiah thompson said...

: Do you, Kimmel, Carolla and Cousin Sal have a name for yourselves? If not, I suggest the Crap Pack.
-- Jason, Philadelphia



SG: (Searching for a comeback …)


twas hilarity

Jugdish said...

"Your... Your brain has the shell on it."..der


I hate when people fuck up the words.



fixed

Jugdish said...

I always thought the guy would die and everyone would say, "What a shame that such a terrific artist turned into such a freak show."


100% agree

Meiz said...

IN YOU FACE, KEITH

Steve said...

UFC Fighter 'Rampage' Jackson Dry Humps Cagepotato.com Reporter LIVE!


awkward.

Keith S said...

Naming your dog "Bill Simmons" is ratarded

blue said...

having a dog is ratarded

*fized

isiah thompson said...

not kicking a dog is ratarded

*fized

Keith S said...

SG saying he's 6'1 and a half is hilarity

blue said...

michael vick approves this message

Keith S said...

"having a dog is ratarded"


So is your face

blue said...

no fucking way

blue said...

he's like 5'9 and a half at the most

Jugdish said...

payday today...suite

ToddPacker said...

blue said...
having a dog is ratarded

*fized

July 10, 2009 3:15 PM


isiah thompson said...
not kicking a dog is ratarded

*fized


hilarious

ToddPacker said...

"SG saying he's 6'1 and a half is hilarity"

who is this SG guy?

ToddPacker said...

double guy

blue said...

eltardo

blue said...

i would like to play eltardo at basketball

blue said...

i would dunk on him and ESPN would confiscate the video

ToddPacker said...

"eltardo"

i left off the (s)

Keith S said...

mailbag was ok. Some of his responses were too long winded

Meiz said...

"Naming your dog "Bill Simmons" is ratarded"


I think its pretty funny.

Keith S said...

You would

Jugdish said...

Some of his responses were too long winded


shocking


s

blue said...

eltardo guy

blue said...

"Some of his responses were too long winded"

and involved little to no humor

Keith S said...

"It's not that the issue's that I'm sitting NELSON!," manager Ron Washington said. "It's just those guys that are out there did such a great job, how can you pull them off the field?"



Fuck you, Ron Washington

Keith S said...

freak, do you want Rich Harden? I'll trade him to you for a bag of poop

Keith S said...

kind of like what I did last year

blue said...

which league?

Keith S said...

Y!

Keith S said...

Also, can we change the Y! league to a keeper league so I can keep Pujols?

blue said...

ah, i gave up on that leagu

Keith S said...

BEULAH, Fla. — Investigators searched Friday for three men wanted for questioning about the Thursday night home-invasion deaths of the mother and father of 16 children.



16 is a lot

Keith S said...

Dell EPP has Sharp Aquos LC-46D65U 46" 1080p LCD HDTV for $899 - 7% off instant in cart = $836 ($811 w/ DPA) and free shipping

Jugdish said...

Dell EPP has Sharp Aquos LC-46D65U 46" 1080p LCD HDTV for $899 - 7% off instant in cart = $836 ($811 w/ DPA) and free shipping to your mom's basement



fixed

Keith S said...

good fiz

blue said...

nobody needs a tv

Keith S said...

I need a tv

blue said...

well then..shit or get oof the pot

Keith S said...

I need a house first

blue said...

buying a tv from dell:

would work great for the first 6 months, then would slow down and eventually after 2 years would break and be a piece of shit

ToddPacker said...

"I need a tv"

i need a new tv too

Jugdish said...

i need a new tv too



analog TV still not working?


s

Keith S said...

"buying a tv from dell:"

I bought my 32" Vizio from Dell a year and a half ago and haven't had any problems


jinx

Keith S said...

"analog TV still not working?"

Hilarity

Keith S said...

bold

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 846   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino