Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Ejukayt

License Plate

That's the license plate I saw on a WV car during my trip home from SC. I am not sure if the apparent teacher driving the car thinks that is how educate is spelled or not. I was going to ask her, but she was really mean looking.


Mini Temrant 1

I don't like it when people hold events "for breast cancer" or any cancer for that matter. There is a Thanksgiving Day Run For Breast Cancer here. And a Mini Marathon For Cancer. So these events are pro cancer?? Got it, they like cancer. There is the Race For The Cure, that makes sense. There is also some things that are the ______ For Breast Cancer Awareness, that makes sense. But just ending the thing after the word cancer doesn't make sense. I never donate anything to causes that are pro cancer.

Mini Temrant 2

Hey Pro Life people, you're signs are dumb. I was driving home and saw a sign that said "Abortion Stops a Beating" and then had a picture of a heart up by the word abortion. The picture wasn't down by beating, so I just thought the sign was pro abortion and meant that abortion stops some guy from beating his kid. I thought it was a pretty good pro abortion argument. I mean, who wants to see a baby beat up? So maybe someone over at the Pro Life camp can move that heart down or something, or better yet just put the freaking word on the sign.

Sports Talk

Lance got 3rd or something and I couldn't care less. That is right, I care the least about cycling. I even care more about soccer, which isn't saying much. At least soccer doesn't make your balls fall off. Although soccer might make you gay, which would be worse than having a ball fall off. That's right, I said it, I'd rather have one nut than be gay.

That swimming dude Phelps still is getting time on WWL. When will this end? I thought I wouldn't have to read about him or hear about him until the 2012 Olympics. Swimming is dumb too.

Hornets trade for Okafor. Not sure how he is an upgrade over Chandler. They save about $1M which is nice, but are on the hook for like 3 more years of Okafor. I guess Okafor is healthier, but still it doesn't sound like a huge upgrade for me.

I am tired of sports talk.

Mini Temrant 3

Hey ESPN baseball coverage, If some guy is batting and you post at the top of the screen that his OBP is .350 and his Slugging % is .500 then you do not need to tell me that his OPS is .850. Please stop doing that. Maybe throw up his batting average or something instead. Thanks and Regards.

tem movie review

Orphan.

This movie is about 1 man's quest for the perfect woman. That's right, the perfect woman. He wants a hot Orphan chick. Why you ask? Easy:

1) no in laws means no arguing with them
2) chick has abandonment issues, easy to capitalize on, but be wary because it could backfire
3) by definition a hot orphan chick is a hot chick
4) bar is set low for dates, chick only knows orphan stuff which must not be great or more people would want to be orphans
5) any house will make her happy
6) no in laws means no arguing over whose family to go see for the holidays
7) trip out of state qualifies as a quality vacation

the list could go on, but I am bored with this and running out of time.

Anyway, the dude never finds the chick and settles from some fatty with a family.

The End.

1.5 helmet stickers out of 5. Debbie Downer of a movie for sure.

304 comments:

1 – 200 of 304   Newer›   Newest»
Jugdish said...

bfirst

ToddPacker said...

good temrants

ToddPacker said...

"Hey Pro Life people, you're signs are dumb"


Hey Pro Life people, you are dumb

*fized

El Padrino said...

5) any house will make her happy



HILARIOUS

ToddPacker said...

mess announcers were grate last night after the game... they were talking like the mess were right back in the race... made me laugh a little

blue said...

rockies bullpen blows

tem said...

blue jinxed the rockies

blue said...

the pitch that morales threw to tatis was a good pitch too, not a horrible location, Tatis just beat him.

of course didn't help that shitball rincon walked the bases loaded

ToddPacker said...

rincon was not good

ToddPacker said...

"the pitch that morales threw to tatis was a good pitch too, not a horrible location, Tatis just beat him"

yes it was a good pitch. i was surprised it went out. at first it looked like a sac fly

Steve said...

i am convinced.



i'll be back in a few weeks, i'm gonna go find an orphan.

Steve said...

i but they clean the house real good too. remember that annie chick? she was always cleaning.

El Padrino said...

"rockies bullpen blows"

keep trotting out razor ramon

El Padrino said...

who's your closer kevin nash?

blue said...

Huston Street is the closer...the guy who has only blown 1 save all season, the guy who has better stats than K-fraud and his celebrations

blue said...

the mess win one game and it's like they're all caught up

blue said...

reggie dumped Kim K

blue said...

I don't understand why you don't bring in the closer or at least fucking betancourt in that situation.

tem said...

"reggie dumped Kim K"

el bluefast

El Padrino said...

"Huston Street is the closer...the guy who has only blown 1 save all season, the guy who has better stats than K-fraud and his celebrations"

jesus i know baseball i was making a NWO Wolfpack joke

clown

El Padrino said...

rincon = razor ramon

tem said...

NWO Wolfpack


::shawshank millionaire::

El Padrino said...

WCW wrasslin back in the day

tem said...

i see

tem said...

with ric flair and hulk hogan?

tem said...

when hulk went bad?

blue said...

you know baseball, but you're a mess fan?

got it.

blue said...

sorry i missed your joke about fake wrestling

tem said...

it's real to him.

El Padrino said...

"when hulk went bad?"

yes, hollywood hogan

blue said...

ed norton or eric bana?

El Padrino said...

Norton.

blue said...

next week i want tem to movie review about how the dude who played the hulk disappears and travels through time, but is still married to the chick from wedding crashers.

tem said...

if i remember i will

tem said...

i'll watch it and then ejukayt you all on it.

blue said...

i'm going to see Funny people this weekend..i expect to be disappointed

ToddPacker said...

"you know baseball, but you're a mess fan?

got it."

i don't get it... i guess you're saying that if you are a knowledgeable fan you don't root for a bad team... blue ♥ the bandwagon

ToddPacker said...

"sorry i missed your joke about fake wrestling"

fake wrestling is the worse*

blue said...

no, the point was most Mess fans don't know anything but the mess.

it's the caput mundi bubble

ToddPacker said...

"no, the point was most Mess fans don't know anything but the mess.

it's the caput mundi bubble"


got it

blue said...

i'm off my game today...tatis still has me shook

ToddPacker said...

"i'm off my game today...tatis still has me shook"

tatis slam is shook-worthy

Meiz said...

"NWO Wolfpack


::shawshank millionaire::"



I'm not talking to you

Meiz said...

"i'm off my game today...tatis still has me shook"


At least he only hit one, unlike Willingham.


related: The Breers are D. O. N. E.

Meiz said...

No internet makes me stabby.

Meiz said...

Had to cancel an apartment showing because the car is a POS. I better have a new one tonight.

El Padrino said...

"no, the point was most Mess fans don't know anything but the mess.

it's the caput mundi bubble"

doesnt apply here, i know baseball and footyball inside out

Meiz said...

"No internet makes me stabby."


And dude watches stupid meathead shows all the time. The tv is never on anything but TRU or Spike. Fucking meatheads.

Steve said...

"no, the point was most Mess fans don't know anything but the mess."


kinda like republicans and politics

blue said...

speaking of foyball, when is the keeper draft

Jugdish said...

doesnt apply here, i know baseball and footyball inside out



says the guy who thinks the mess should trade for halladay and victor martinez

blue said...

statements not made on this blog cannot be held against you.

tem said...

"I'm not talking to you"

you say that now.

Jugdish said...

he said that earlier

tem said...

"speaking of foyball, when is the keeper draft"

is that espn thing a keeper league?

Meiz said...

Commish of the shitty fnfl sent out invites for a Yahoo premium league. No thanks.

El Padrino said...

8 year old train conductors

El Padrino said...

"says the guy who thinks the mess should trade for halladay and victor martinez"

merely pointing out they have the arsenal to do so

El Padrino said...

Biden does it again!!!, man this is going to be a fun 3.5 years

blue said...

the mets don't have close to anything that the jays would want

the mets minor league system got raided when they got johan...they don't have 3 or 4 top line prospects...which is what it would take to get halladay.

and if you think different, you're looking through mess colored glasses.

El Padrino said...

hypocrisy = obama

El Padrino said...

"the mets don't have close to anything that the jays would want

the mets minor league system got raided when they got johan...they don't have 3 or 4 top line prospects...which is what it would take to get halladay.

and if you think different, you're looking through mess colored glasses."

the jays would absolutely do a deal if it included Fernando Martinez, Holt, Niese and Flores

if you dont think so then you dont know shit. period.

mets dont want to part with all that talent, jays already said any deal we do with ny gets done with f mart in there to which the mets said pass to which i argued to re-consider

these are all facts

El Padrino said...

metas traded DOGS to get Santana

DOGS

Twins got ROBBED and that's why whoever says this and that about any minor league system is making an educated guess because they dont always pan out no matter how high they are ranked in baseball america or by individual scouts

El Padrino said...

and i included the stats of the twins that were acquired by minny, only carlos gomez has value

if you like .220 hitters with no power and poor english vocabulary

El Padrino said...

TP knows, remember Generation K TP

what happened to that?

Shitballs happened.

El Padrino said...

Alex Escobar anyone?

5 tool player my ass

tem said...

mess suck

El Padrino said...

irrelevant

El Padrino said...

"Yesterday morning a Queens man was awakened by the unenviable sensation of boiling water poured on his genitals by his wife. Emmanuel "Ojo" Ojofeitimi, 67, sustained second and third degree burns over 30% of his body; his wife Oyindamola Ojofeitimi told cops she was motivated by the discovery that her husband of 20 years had been unfaithful."


whore

El Padrino said...

coke made carbonated Milk drinks?

Meiz said...

"whore"


Yes he was

El Padrino said...

sprint/nextel just took on virgin mobile usa

tem said...

carbonated milk sounds gross

Meiz said...

Is it really that difficult to not cheat on your significant other?

Jugdish said...

coke made carbonated Milk drinks?


el padrino

El Padrino said...

"Is it really that difficult to not cheat on your significant other?"

he didnt do it, woman are sick they think your cheating on you when your just trying to relax

El Padrino said...

dont text and drive guys

tem said...

"they think your cheating on you "

i hate when i cheat on me.

El Padrino said...

now that is HDH

tem said...

$6M to figure out that texting while driving isn't a good idea?

Jebus Chris what a waste of money.

tem said...

"they think your cheating on you when your "

lots of HDH there fo sho.

El Padrino said...

shaq was on fake wrestling last night

El Padrino said...

now that she is single it's time to put on a full fledged effort to make Kim K mine

El Padrino said...

althugh reports indicate Reggie gave her the clap, that be fucked up yo

El Padrino said...

unless this rumor = jessica romo

Which half-jock couple isn’t telling the truth about their breakup? Both parties are sticking to the same story: it was mutual and they still really, really care about each other, but their careers forced them to spend too much time apart. LOL. Not even close. The truth is that he was a dog. Not the cute, cuddly type you carry around for a photo op. No, he was the two-timing, non-condom-wearing kind of sinner. She wound up with an STD that he picked up from one of his pickups. No, it’s not Paris Hilton.

Steve said...

Booty. Lots and lots of booty.

El Padrino said...

good stuff there

El Padrino said...

not sure how i feel about the last one though, minor wft

El Padrino said...

ryan garko to the Giants

Steve said...

"not sure how i feel about the last one though, minor wft"


isn't that the cheerleader from heros?

Steve said...

she looks kinda frumpy

Keith S said...

"the jays would absolutely do a deal if it included Fernando Martinez, Holt, Niese and Flores"

Of course they would. And the mess would be dumb to send every top prospect for a guy with 120k miles on that arm. The Mess are out of it this year. To strip their minor league system for someone who will help them get to .500 this year would be ratarded

Keith S said...

This poker site I play on has $10 tourneys with 10 people, and the top 5 people win $20. This is how I'm gonna get rich. I'll just have to play 1000 tourneys a day

El Padrino said...

"isn't that the cheerleader from heros?"

yeah, but she looks 12 in that pic and is wearing pants

Keith S said...

"yeah, but she looks 12 in that pic and is wearing pants"


Steve said he was gonna look for his orphan

Keith S said...

mize, you still need a camera?

El Padrino said...

WFT, sick japs

Steve said...

Republican moms for marijuana.

"Just four years into the Women's Organization for National Prohibition Reform's repeal efforts, prohibition was over."

Meiz said...

"mize, you still need a camera?"


Kept the Kodak. I like it a lot. Simple, and has a lot of features.

blue said...

"whoever says this and that about any minor league system is making an educated guess because they dont always pan out no matter how high they are ranked in baseball america or by individual scouts"

agreed

but yet you're touting the talent the mess have in their farm system

isiah thompson said...

deke which kodak did you get?

blue said...

actually might make sense for the mets to get involved only because they'd be able to sign him "long-term" and keep him.

but that's what the brewers thought last year with fatboy

blue said...

mets only reason to get involved would be to keep him away or drive up the price on the phillies.

again, not a dum move

isiah thompson said...

I think Vick is gonna end up making a fool of Dungy for sticking his neck out for him. That's too bad.

blue said...

my keepers...

LDT, Mike Turner, MOSS, b-march, and clinTON Portis

blue said...

by the by...5 keepers is too many in a league where you only start 8 guys

Keith S said...

My keepers....


suck

El Padrino said...

"by the by...5 keepers is too many in a league where you only start 8 guys"

agreed

Keith S said...

my best keeper is jason witten

El Padrino said...

"actually might make sense for the mets to get involved only because they'd be able to sign him "long-term" and keep him."

agreed

isiah thompson said...

by the by...5 keepers is too many in a league where you only start 8 guys

more evidence that freak sucks as a commish, wadr.

El Padrino said...

but yet you're touting the talent the mess have in their farm system

in regards to acquiring a halladay yes, when folks like buster olney say the mets imply does not have what it takes to get him is inaccurate they do, they just are choosing not too just like teams with a "good" farm

Keith S said...

Looks like I picked the wrong week to not be an as.

El Padrino said...

your an as for that comment

isiah thompson said...

a leopard can't change his spots keef.

it's your bull.

Keith S said...

I was doing a pseudo Airplane quote

JFreak said...

Preliminary time for the Keeper draft is Saturday, Aug 29th at 8 PM ET.

Any objections?

blue said...

it's not cheating because it's your dog

isiah thompson said...

Any objections?

make it for a Sunday

Keith S said...

"Any objections?"

The fuck? Why have the draft on a Saturday night?

/ep

JFreak said...

"by the by...5 keepers is too many in a league where you only start 8 guys"

So do you guys want it changed, or just complaining for the sake of complaining?

Meiz said...

"deke which kodak did you get?"


c180 or 180c

Keith S said...

AJA, Sunday would also work better for me. My $ draft is on the 29th

Meiz said...

Don't change it. I like my keepers.

JFreak said...

Alright, moved to Sunday the 30th at 8 PM ET.

isiah thompson said...

Alright, moved to Sunday the 30th at 8 PM ET.

works for me

Keith S said...

gracias

isiah thompson said...

So do you guys want it changed, or just complaining for the sake of complaining?

either re-start the entire league or get a league majority vote to change.

I'd vote no as my keepers are HDH.

Keith S said...

Can we change it to zero keepers?

JFreak said...

Put a poll up on the league page for possible keeper reduction.

Keith S said...

you do it

El Padrino said...

sunday night works

JFreak said...

TP, tem and keith (especially TP) don't forget to set your keepers.

isiah thompson said...

Put a poll up on the league page for possible keeper reduction.

are you going with a majority, or 100% yes to make changes?

also, teams don't have to keep 5 if they don't want to, they'll pick earlier in the draft.

JFreak said...

majority rules.

JFreak said...

or 100%.

whichever is first.

isiah thompson said...

10-4

isiah thompson said...

how about an option to increase starting spots rather than reduce keepers?

add another starting WR

QB
RB
RB
WR
WR
WR
RB/WR
TE
K
DEF

10 starters

isiah thompson said...

how about PPR, can we put that up for a vote also?

JFreak said...

I'm down with that.

isiah thompson said...

freak does a vote of "reduce keepers" or "increase starters" make more cents?

bueller?

isiah thompson said...

FOOTBALL!

JFreak said...

I'll make a topic for each question on LoF.

ToddPacker said...

"TP, tem and keith (especially TP) don't forget to set your keepers."

what? i'm in a keeper league?

Keith S said...

"TP, tem and keith (especially TP) don't forget to set your keepers."

I have like a month to do this, right?

Keith S said...

I also would like PPR.

Thanks and regards

Keith S said...

I'll keep noone and then have the first 5 picks in the draft

Keith S said...

I just won another $10 in poker. Early retirement, here I come

JFreak said...

Cast your vote for PPR and keeper reduction/roster additionat LoF.

JFreak said...

"I have like a month to do this, right?"

Third Wednesday in August.

JFreak said...

"what? i'm in a keeper league?"

Yes.

JFreak said...

Meiz, stop being gay and actually vote.

isiah thompson said...

I just won another $10 in poker. Early retirement, here I come

What site is this?

Aitch said...

Just played ketchup on the weekend stuff

"" Let's also say that El Pad is 6'5" and Aitch is skinny" made me laugh quite hard

isiah thompson said...

Cowherd stole our "Mess" joke.

ToddPacker said...

""what? i'm in a keeper league?"

Yes."


can my team fold?

Aitch said...

Re: neck piercing.

My friend did this. 2 weeks later she got stars tattooed on her cheeks. Ns. I bet that is csil's next step.

JFreak said...

2nd part of the SG quote column is up.

JFreak said...

"can my team fold?"

If you want to leave, find a replacement.

Aitch said...

Sat - Mon I worked a combined 41 hrs on 7 hrs of sleep. Woe.

ToddPacker said...

"If you want to leave, find a replacement."


anybody want my spot in the keeper league?

Meiz said...

"Meiz, stop being gay and actually vote."


I don't give a shit

isiah thompson said...

I don't give a shit

we're talking about the keeper league not your life.

Keith S said...

"Third Wednesday in August."

So yes. Got it

Meiz said...

"we're talking about the keeper league not your life."


Same difference

Keith S said...

"What site is this?"

sportsinteraction.com

Jugdish said...

My friend did this. 2 weeks later she got stars tattooed on her cheeks. Ns. I bet that is csil's next step.



fixed

Keith S said...

"I bet that is csil's next step."

possibly

Jugdish said...

While some people were making waaaay too much out of Barack Obama's first pitch at the All-Star Game, the players in the American League dugout were using it as an opportunity to mock White Sox lefty Mark Buehrle. "We saw that and turned to Mark and said, 'I think he throws harder than you do,'" Joe Nathan said.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Alright, moved to Sunday the 30th at 8 PM ET."

think ill be in hawaii so im out

Spaceman Spiff said...

if i keep an undrafted free agent that doesnt affect my draft at all right?

Spaceman Spiff said...

"the players in the American League dugout were using it as an opportunity to mock White Sox lefty Mark Buehrle."

after the perfect game, buehrle sent a mass IN YOU FACE text to all

Jugdish said...

Joe Nathan has been talking shit ever since he saw his Y! stats a few weeks ago.

Aitch said...

"i'm going to see Funny people this weekend..i expect to be disappointed"

I saw the extended trailer for this months ago. Seems like another attempt at a "serious" movie by adam sandler. Now I see the tv commercials and they are marketing it like a comedy. My only guess is because sandler's other "serious" movies haven't done well, they're trying to dupe people. It will be interesting to see if this strategy wors

JFreak said...

"My only guess is because sandler's other "serious" movies haven't done well"

That one with Don Cheadle was pretty good.

El Padrino said...

aitch what are you talking about, it's a judd apatow production this shit is going to be good

El Padrino said...

"think ill be in hawaii so im out"

what is with this, you have a timeshare or something

blue said...

"That one with Don Cheadle was pretty good"

don't talk about that one, it stirs up bad memories for EP

El Padrino said...

for rb's we should get some points for attempts, like 10+ attempts =2 points, 20+ = 5 points, 25+ = 7 points and 30+ = 10 points

Aitch said...

I'm a big fan of Stacey Kiebler. Thank you for that link.

Brings something up though. I've always found it funny that they can't show a woman's bare ass on tv cuz it is nudity, but an ass in a thong is ok. I'm not complaining, just find it funny.

isiah thompson said...

Cowherd keeps playing that Omar Minaya sound bite and it's hilarity, the "lobby" HDH is grate*.

The Mess are run like the Skins.

Jugdish said...

jug's youngest brother is moving back to Houston...suite!

Jugdish said...

The Mess are run like the Skins.


zeke should start the dailyskin blog so you can hire spiff and the two of you can talk about all the players the skins should trade for

Aitch said...

"aitch what are you talking about, it's a judd apatow production this shit is going to be good"

Did I say it wasn't going to be? You taking over keith's position of resident as.?

I was merely stating that Sandler's previous semi-serious entries, namely Spanglish and Reign Over Me, didn't kill at the box office, so they may be trying another strategy. People who have only seen the commercials on tv will see Judd Apatow + Adam Sandler = funny movie

Aitch said...

I could be wrong. In just saying I got the sense from the full trailer that it was a semi-serious movie. Maybe it will be just a comedy.

El Padrino said...

yeah it's serious sandler's character dies

isiah thompson said...

yeah it's serious sandler's character dies

really? the preview makes it sound like he doesn't.

and thanks for the spoiler, as.

El Padrino said...

i'm just guessing

Aitch said...

Tem, is that your first tat?

Meiz said...

"zeke should start the dailyskin blog"


The name might not work

Spaceman Spiff said...

"what is with this, you have a timeshare or something"

you serious? fmspiff fam is there, thats why we go a lot

El Padrino said...

"you serious? fmspiff fam is there, thats why we go a lot"

yea i knew she had peeps there but still ya go alot

congrats, you got engaged

El Padrino said...

game over for spiff

Spaceman Spiff said...

1st rec league bball game did not go well on sunday, our only PG was in vegas so it was chaos and 1 dude who had no bizness taking more than 20 shots, did.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"congrats, you got engaged"

suite i didnt have to get a ring and get started on an EP debt

El Padrino said...

u said fmspiff

El Padrino said...

my lov talk is rusty but i believe that meand future mrs spiff

Spaceman Spiff said...

ive been said* fmspiff, dont mean shizz, this is LOV

Spaceman Spiff said...

THIS IS LOV!!!!!

*fized

Spaceman Spiff said...

bold

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Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino