Tuesday, June 16, 2009

We hired a 6'1" chick intern

We hired a really freaking tall chick as an intern. The dude that hired her is 5'5". It is hilarity to see him explaining things to her. It's like a 5th grader explaining his homework to his teacher.

Indians and Breers had a pitching duel last night. Check out the highlights if you have time.

Tem met a chick who hates the Patriots and Cowboys. Is it too soon to ask her to move in? Maybe I'll tell her the engagement ring is in the closet somewhere. Just kidding, I know it is too soon, I'll ask next week.

78% of WWL people think Kobe will never be considered better than Jordan no matter what he does. I agree. Circle gets the square.

Anyway, in this post we have a running diary of El Tardo's latest and a tem movie review. We were going to have an "interview" with Bert F. but he bailed because he wanted to jeouche around with his mouse pad and cook.


Tem running diary:

8:00 EST - El Tardo is clearly cranky about Colby winning. Is axing 3 questions. Then going to answer them, which means nobody really axed the questions. It doesn't count if you axe yourself.

8:02 EST - " Did Kobe Bryant change as a player/person/leader/performer from 2008 to 2009, or did his circumstances change?" - El Tardo says no. Also El Tardo thinks he is going to live past 80 years old, he didn't get the memo.

8:03 EST - El Tardo says they won because they had good players. Master of the obvious right there he is. Throws stats around to show Colby didn't do anything different...blah blah blah, El Tardo crap, no mentions of his dad, dog, wife or kid. You know he is taking this article seriously. Which sucks. He sucks when he is serious.

8:04 EST - Question - "2. Did the '09 Lakers really like each other, or was it like a Bill-Hillary thing?"

8:05 - 9:05 EST - This was hard reading, but his answer can be summed up as "I dunno"

9:06 EST - Question 3 "3. Why was the media so desperate to convince us Kobe HAD changed, that his quest to win a fourth title was a storyline that dwarfed all others, that we needed to understand this was a GREAT PLAYER WE ARE WATCHING, that he really wants this, that he's like a coach out there ... I mean, what was the motivation here?"

9:06 - 10:06 EST - More painful reading. He doesn't know this answer either then talks about Joey Buss. Then he rambles on and on about more shit that shouldn't have made it to print, but he clearly needs to meet a deadline.

10:07 EST - Fuck it. DO NOT READ THIS EL TARDO ARTICLE, IT WILL CAUSE TEMPORARY BLINDNESS AND CAUSE YOU TO WANT TO STAB YOURSELF.


Damn that was horrible....well I am only as good as my source material....should have had Bert on the show.

Movie Review:

Ninja Assassin

This is one of the best movie titles for a movie ever. Ninjas are cool. Assassins are cool, you know when they aren't trying to kill you. Cool plus cool has to equal awesome right? Right? Wrong.

Leave it to hollywood to screw something up that had so much potential. I haven't been this let down by a movie since The Hangover in Ohio.

So this movie is about a bumbling idiot that kills ninjas....I can't even suspend my disbelief, none of this shit would ever happen. Think Kevin James vs Jet Li as a ninja and Kevin James wins...WFT?

0 helmet stickers out of 5 for tricking me.

441 comments:

1 – 200 of 441   Newer›   Newest»
El CantStandYa said...

the hangover was insanely funny, might be the funniest movie i ever saw, i need to see it again to be sure

tem said...

are we putting our real pictures up today as our pictures? did i miss a memo?

blue said...

i'm taking the accounting department to see the hangover next week

tem said...

don't go in ohio.


does the accounting department include hot secretary?

El CantStandYa said...

this is a first, abc news running a special from the white house to push the healt care bill down america's throats

blue said...

i found teej

blue said...

"does the accounting department include hot secretary?"

I believe it does

El CantStandYa said...

tem your either really smart or really stupid

you seriously didnt like the hangover?

blue said...

i know one other person who did not like it.

tem said...

i thought i was just OK.

i never really busted out laughing and i don't really have a take home quote from the movie other than "paging dr. faggot." i thought that was funny.

with things like anchorman and old school i still say quotes from those movies, but I got nothing from The Hangover.

blue said...

for what it's worth, i wasn't impressed with Anchorman the first go round either.


after seeing it a 2nd time, it became funnier

El CantStandYa said...

"but I got nothing from The Hangover."

off the top of my head:



it's funny because he's fat

so long gay boys

but don't text me, it's gay

toodoloo mother fuckerrrrrrrrrsssss

is this hotel pager friendly

tigers love pepper, they hate cinnamon

step back fat jesus

tem said...

i'll see it again. i just didn't think it was insanely funny.

El CantStandYa said...

there is even a hilarious 9/11 joke that i luaghed at

tem said...

fat jesus i could use.

anything the gay chinese dude says is something i do not want to say.

Beth said...

"are we putting our real pictures up today as our pictures? did i miss a memo?"

Well I've obviously been using my real pic for awhile now.

(s)

(And yes, I got that your comment was a rag on EP. I even laughed at it.)

Beth said...

"there is even a hilarious 9/11 joke that i luaghed at"


9/11 is not funny!!!!

/EP

El CantStandYa said...

the wedding band was the same wedding band at frank the tank's wedding and the same singer from the ben stiller movie, starsky and hutch...

just a lil tidbit i discovered

El CantStandYa said...

"9/11 is not funny!!!!"

thanks bin laden was hilarity

El CantStandYa said...

everybody see it and we'll discuss

tem said...

"just a lil tidbit i discovered"


wow, you are a regular nancy drew.

did you know that the stripper chick that the dentist married was in Boogie Nights?

tem said...

"thanks bin laden was hilarity"

i remembering chuckling at this joke. can't remember exactly what it was though.

El CantStandYa said...

i like sg's article, makes alot of sense actually

El CantStandYa said...

"did you know that the stripper chick that the dentist married was in Boogie Nights?"

of course, roller girl

duh

tem newsflash, she was in a lot of other shit too, but boogie nights was her best role of course

El CantStandYa said...

nice tits on her btw

blue said...

(And yes, I got that your comment was a rank* on EP. I even laughed at it.)


*Fizzle dizzle

El CantStandYa said...

i'm trying to ignore this heath bill thing

tem said...

"tem newsflash, she was in a lot of other shit too, but boogie nights was her best role of course"

el pad newsflash, everyone knew it was the same band.

El CantStandYa said...

scientists are stupid

tem said...

"i like sg's article, makes alot of sense actually"

it was painful to read.

tem said...

it literally gave me a headache.

blue said...

i don't like heath bars anyway

tem said...

much like these budgets i am reviewing.

blue said...

budgets are super fun

blue said...

i should hire an intern

tem said...

make sure she is at least 6'1".

tem said...

also you can hire an intern because you fired all the normal workers.

El CantStandYa said...

gollum tellin me that if you eat the pits of apricots and peaches you will never catch the cancer

fuck this guy

El CantStandYa said...

tent city is hear

tem said...

you need to up the amount you are willing to pay to change seats.

blue said...

what did tent city hear?

tem said...

that tent city is just for gay douchebags.

real tent city will be less gay and less douchey.

and not in new england. new england is going to fall into the ocean and hundreds, maybe thousands of people there will die.

i hope el pad's crew makes it out.

tem said...

"what did tent city hear?"

a Who.

like that elephant did.

El CantStandYa said...

john daniels distillery

El CantStandYa said...

betting on the NFL and why the NFL wants no part of it

blue said...

i don't bet on the NFL

Meiz said...

Note to eBay sellers:

Don't make ridiculous promises to your buyers.

tem said...

don't bet on that blue.

tem said...

is that air france crash not news anymore?

El CantStandYa said...

"Don't make ridiculous promises to your buyers."

you got bamboozled?

ToddPacker said...

"the wedding band was the same wedding band at frank the tank's wedding and the same singer from the ben stiller movie, starsky and hutch...

just a lil tidbit i discovered"


the dan band

El CantStandYa said...

phelps has a stache

ToddPacker said...

anybody watch the joe buck show? i thought for the most part it sucked, but artie lange killed... i think joe wanted to kick him off halfway through the segment

El CantStandYa said...

if michael moore would die that'd be great

blue said...

dan band is great

Tyler said...

"anybody watch the joe buck show?"

It was terrible. I would be surprised if HBO didn't pull the plug right away.

blue said...

better than the lt. dan band

blue said...

joe buck is terrible


*fixed

Meiz said...

"you got bamboozled?"


Do you think it would be possible for that to happen?

Would you ever be tricked into buying Chrysler stock?

Tyler said...

Phelps normally looks like a giant douche, but he's taken it to a whole new level by growing a stache.

*fized

blue said...

it's good to see tyler back in the mix

Meiz said...

Tyler, you quitting tomorrow?

Tyler said...

"Tyler, you quitting tomorrow?"

You'll have to wait.

Meiz said...

Fine

ToddPacker said...

"It was terrible. I would be surprised if HBO didn't pull the plug right away."


that's what was so great about the artie segment... he made fun of the show and buck the whole time

Tyler said...

Artie was the best thing about the show.

Keith S said...

"with things like anchorman and old school i still say quotes from those movies, but I got nothing from The Hangover."


The fat guy saying "ra-tard" was funny

Tyler said...

Joe Buck was just unlikeable, even more than usual, if that's possible.

El CantStandYa said...

"Do you think it would be possible for that to happen?

Would you ever be tricked into buying Chrysler stock?"

no & no

El CantStandYa said...

"The fat guy saying "ra-tard" was funny"

lol

ToddPacker said...

"Joe Buck was just unlikeable, even more than usual, if that's possible."

i agree

Keith S said...

So Letterman apologizes and says that his joke was about the older Palin brat. Duh. Anyone who actually thought he would make a sex joke about a 14 year old is fucking ra-tarded

El CantStandYa said...

fat woman gets denied white castle

El CantStandYa said...

when your so fat your handicap why are you going to get white castle's after 11pm?

Keith S said...

Good plan

Keith S said...

"fat woman gets denied white castle


E
L

P
A
D
R
I
N
O

Meiz said...

"fat woman gets denied white castle"


Why do we even bother?

Keith S said...

Brits are smrt

spaceman spiff said...

thats EPs favorite dog breed

Keith S said...

ha

spaceman spiff said...

ECs*

Keith S said...

I thought EP liked wiener dogs

El CantStandYa said...

underworked american kids, overworked as an adult, it evens out

ToddPacker said...

article on the joe buck show... there are some funny lines in the article

El CantStandYa said...

lange tells hbo chief to go fuck himself

El CantStandYa said...

beer bike

El CantStandYa said...

walllllllllllllll

Tyler said...

Slow news day.

tem said...

"The fat guy saying "ra-tard" was funny'

agreed. i forgot about this one. i have used it.

maybe it just takes longer than i remember for these things to sink in for me.

tem said...

"thats EPs favorite dog breed"

not looking at the link is it a cocker spaniel?

tem said...

"Slow news day."

i know. i had nothing to bitch/write about in the world of sports.

El CantStandYa said...

"not looking at the link is it a cocker spaniel?"

yeah

hilarious i know, contain your laughter

El CantStandYa said...

josh mcdaniels has runined that team blue, who will he force out of town next their best defensive player?

tem said...

they don't have any good defensive players.

tem said...

"hilarious i know, contain your laughter"

uncontainable.

tem said...

"i'm taking the accounting department to see the hangover next week"


seriously though? like in the middle of the day or after work?

tem said...

when is DXO going to go up?

El CantStandYa said...

"they don't have any good defensive players."

champ, dawkins

El CantStandYa said...

"when is DXO going to go up?"

when people buy it

tem said...

"champ, dawkins"

they are old.

tem said...

"when people buy it"

so you should buy it.

El CantStandYa said...

"so you should buy it."

i did, just not enough apparentely

Meiz said...

Did I just wait on a grown woman from Redondo Beach wearing a tiara?


Spiff, Tyler: What is wrong with your people?

tem said...

tyler is asian?

El CantStandYa said...

fuck papajohns!

spaceman spiff said...

"Spiff, Tyler: What is wrong with your people?"

maybe she's a pageant winner, and when did you start working at a restaurant?

spaceman spiff said...

EC, a few days ago, gammons said shea was the worst ballpark ever built

spaceman spiff said...

because of the planes and said it always smelled like garbage, no mention of a 'wadr' from him

blue said...

"seriously though? like in the middle of the day or after work?"


middle of day...i'm not spending time with peeps after work

blue said...

this brandon marshall shit isn't mcdaniels fault

marshall wants more money, and he thinks the team doctors misdiagnosed him or some shit so he hates them

spaceman spiff said...

"middle of day...i'm not spending time with peeps after work unless its the hot chick"

*fized

isiah thompson said...

30 days in jail for drunk driving manslaughter.

not a bad price to pay (ns)

tem said...

he owes the dead guy's family some serious cash. settled up with them already i think.

tem said...

i could write a list of at least 1,000 people i would spend 30 days in jail for if i got to run them over.

tem said...

how long does stallworth get suspended for?

isiah thompson said...

I'd rather be broke from a settlement and spend 30 days in jail then by a milly-yonair* in jail for 30 years.

El CantStandYa said...

"Domino's: New Fiery Hawaiian Pizza features sliced ham, smoked bacon, pineapple, roasted red peppers, hot sauce, jalapeƱos, mozzarella on Parmesan crust"


yummy!

El CantStandYa said...

gammons is stroked out, has no clue, fucking fenway is a shit hole that is going to collapse any day now

tem said...

you don't eat dominos.

isiah thompson said...

Domino's is making a run at the label of "Most Authentic I-talian Restaurant" in the US.

watch out OG

El CantStandYa said...

shea was a piece of shit, concrete pile of seats but it was our piece of shit, i grew up there

tem said...

"I'd rather be broke from a settlement and spend 30 days in jail then by a milly-yonair* in jail for 30 years."

then by a....good HDH.

isiah thompson said...

Gammons has been done ever since that stroke.

isiah thompson said...

then by a....good HDH.


*tipping cap

tem said...

"Domino's is making a run at the label of "Most Authentic I-talian Restaurant" in the US.

watch out OG"


stop it. you've seen the commercials. Pizza Hut is the most authentic.

El CantStandYa said...

"you don't eat dominos."

and I know this MAN

(thin crust large, extra cheese, i will throw down one of those on a vacation or something)

El CantStandYa said...

"said it always smelled like garbage"

maybe down where they kept the reporters but i never smelled garbage except for when bobby bonilla was up with RISP

isiah thompson said...

"said it always smelled like garbage"


Gammons was talking about Caput Mundi in general I think.

El CantStandYa said...

"Gammons was talking about Caput Mundi in general I think."

that was his old ass upper lip

isiah thompson said...

I saw Gammons on NFL Live on ESPN and he said Eli sucked.

blue said...

gammons also thought that Ewing was overrated

isiah thompson said...

Trump bough RAW....wft. how does that work?

isiah thompson said...

Gammons is pro 9/11.

tem said...

Gammons also said that The Godfather was a worse movie than Supersize Me.

tem said...

Gammons voted for Obama.....twice.

isiah thompson said...

"pro 9/11" as in he thought Mackmood* Mohammed was a helluva pilot.

tem said...

"Trump bough RAW"


::Blank stare::

isiah thompson said...

Gammons voted for Obama.....twice.

hilarity

blue said...

Gammons thinks that the 9/11 was a hoax and that it was really GW that hired those guys to fly the planes into buildings

tem said...

Gammons said the Giants SB was a fluke and they were the worst super bowl winner of the last 30 years.

blue said...

Gammons has gone on record that Chicago style >>>>> Ny style pizzas

blue said...

Gammons has produced a footlong mozzerella stick and it's coming to a sidewalk near you

isiah thompson said...

Gammons said Messier was really gay.

blue said...

gammons thinks that Ladanian Tomlinson is the real LT

blue said...

gammons thinks that isiah thomas is a saint, and generally a very smart business man

tem said...

Gammons is a gay, islamic, boston fan, who also also thinks that Jessica Alba is fat and ugly.

tem said...

Gammons supports the new health care plan.

isiah thompson said...

Gammons said Willis Reid faked it.

isiah thompson said...

Gammons said he has proof that Ray Night, Davey Johnson and Keith Hernandez all participated in gay butt sex. He knows because he did too.

blue said...

gammons

blue said...

gammons likes conan on the tonight show better because he's not in neuvo york

tem said...

Gammons favorite LOV personality is Weazy.

tem said...

Gammons had sex with Beff.

isiah thompson said...

Gammons plans on bidding on all of EP's ebay auctions, winning them, then not paying.

isiah thompson said...

Gammons is 5'10"....and a half.

blue said...

Gammons thinks that keith's hsil is >>>>> than EC's

tem said...

zeke, those 2 were hilarity.

tem said...

wow, comments starting with gammons stop at 19 in a row.

and i stopped it.

i am sad.

tem said...

gammons helped North Korea build nukes.

tem said...

Gammons wall?

isiah thompson said...

Gammons eats raw garlic and loves Polish people.

El CantStandYa said...

nice gammons/anit ny run

applause to all involved

Steve said...

Terrorism suspect says he lied to stop torture

ISBNS

Steve said...

ya'll forgot.

Gammons speaks arabic.

Tyler said...

"Spiff, Tyler: What is wrong with your people?"

That's a beach city, there are no laws out there.

El CantStandYa said...

adam fucking morrison

tem said...

gammons thinks adam is good

Steve said...

Gammons thinks she’s chunky and overrated.

blue said...

gammons thinks that steve is a great linker

El CantStandYa said...

harangody returns to skool

Steve said...

broken link.


i'm doing you a favor.

tem said...

gammons thinks pac 10 poon is still active.

tem said...

gammons always guesses the muff

isiah thompson said...

Harangody is a 2nd rounder to not drafted type player.

blue said...

meeks from kentucky stayed in the draft..i'm hoping the nuggets can get him at 34...they're projecting him late 1st early 2nd.

tem said...

the nuggets will get nothing and like it.

blue said...

that's probably true

Steve said...

Ghostbusters game review

El CantStandYa said...

gamer

similar to my screenplay

El CantStandYa said...

spiff did you see pelham?

El CantStandYa said...

stay away from zicam guys

El CantStandYa said...

imagine not being able to smell the wonderful scent of twat

fucking zicam

blue said...

zicam is awesome

isiah thompson said...

This twat has no smell!

tem said...

what is zicam supposed to do?

blue said...

knocks out your cold...i don't use that spray shit though, they make a capsule...it works great


it's really just a shot of vitamin C

tem said...

got it. vitamin c.

for colds.

El CantStandYa said...

science

Meiz said...

Gammons hates NY was glorious.


Kudos to all who participated

tem said...

a shining moment indeed.

Meiz said...

A vintage LOV performance

El CantStandYa said...

cameltoe

sfw

El CantStandYa said...

megan fox cameltoe, sfw

JFreak said...

Scoop Jackson plays a racist in Kenny Mayne's lastest webisode.

He obviously didn't have to act very hard.

blue said...

scoop hates black people.

spaceman spiff said...

"spiff did you see pelham?"

no, as you said travolta is laughable

El CantStandYa said...

yea but reviews ae great

/ep

isiah thompson said...

block

isiah thompson said...

block

El CantStandYa said...

vending machines should take debit cards

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"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino