Monday, June 22, 2009

Tough times in NY, you

I didn't win Powerball this weekend. Woe.

Caput Mundi can't get anything right recently. The Mess are a typical mess. The Yankees have struggled lately and haven't beat the Red Sux yet this season. And now the US Open can't get completed in regular time because the course has been flooded all weekend. #1 city in the world my as.

So cmk fucking watches these murder mystery shows all the time. Dateline ID channel, Oxygen channel, TLC. Any channel that has murder mystery shows, and she's watching it. She even watches the shit that's on the free INDemand. I tolt her she better not be watching them to get any ideas. If anyone ever sees on the Internets that I died a mysterious death, I'm just throwing this out there.

I can't believe that zeke is siding with tem in the "The Hangover is not that great" camp. I'm shocked! I'm surprised! I'm flabbergasted! I'm something something! We need to have an intervention or something.

I need to get a new phone this week. I don't really want to get a BlackBerry. I'll take suggestions from everyone on what I should get. I have Verizon. Is there another phone that I could LoV on besides a BlackBerry?

Jug, let me know my name/pic for our bet. I'll probably use them more than 2 days. I need to cut back a little bit on my Internets usage at work. The director of our division, whose office is right behind me, made a comment to my boss the other day asking why I was on the Internets so much. Bullshit.

I can't wait for College Fooyball* to be here. I might buy NCAA Fooyball* on PS2, if they even sell new PS2 games anymore. Because that's how I roll.

You know why soccer sucks? There is some tourney going on right now, and the US had gotten smoked so far by Brazil & Italy (ISBNS), but they beat Egypt on Sunday by 3, and Italy lost by 3, so the US made the semi-finals. Now they will get smoked by Spain. Congrats.

I think that's all for now. Talk to you again in 168 hours. I think you all will like next week's post. I have a good idear for it. It's just about whether I'll put the time into it or not.

358 comments:

1 – 200 of 358   Newer›   Newest»
El Padrino said...

something is going on, cousin saw the hangover and hated it

bossman came in and said he saw dark knight and hated it

not sure wft

El Padrino said...

maybe i'm the ra-tard

Steve said...

i've heard a few people say the hangover was just OK.

i've never heard anybody say they didn't like the dark knight.

El Padrino said...

aliens

Beth said...

"I have Verizon. Is there another phone that I could LoV on besides a BlackBerry?"

A lady at work just got the EnV touch and loves it. It's one of those with a touch screen but also opens up to a full keyboard so you may want to check that out.

blue said...

don't get a new phone, get an older phone, zack morris style

El Padrino said...

got a no seatbelt ticket this morning, went 40 feet just switching spots

not cool

blue said...

that'll learn ya

Beth said...

"got a no seatbelt ticket this morning, went 40 feet just switching spots"

NY has the best cops.

El Padrino said...

ridick, i'm fighting it

blue said...

ridick bowe?

blue said...

my money is on bowe

blue said...

ahahahaha

miniskirt bitch got locked out of her computer because she can't remember her password.

now she's calling our IT manager about 2 hours before he typically gets up on a monday.

blue said...

this is pure comedy gold

blue said...

now she's yelling at the IT manager

blue said...

safe to say that Tiger is a choke artist now?

Beth said...

safe to say that Tiger is human now?

*fixed

Seriously though, I think it's a bit harsh to call him a choke artist but he certainly doesn't always rise to the occasion or make a charge like the general public thinks.

blue said...

he sucks

tem said...

"bossman came in and said he saw dark knight and hated it"

something is wrong with your bossman.

El Padrino said...

for real

El Padrino said...

said the story sucked, like white knight stuff

tem said...

why is he just now seeing it?

isiah thompson said...

Ricky Barnes is shook.

isiah thompson said...

Seriously though, I think it's a bit harsh to call him a choke artist but he certainly doesn't always rise to the occasion or make a charge like the general public thinks.

weren't Tiger's first round and a half or two rounds in the real shitty weather/course conditions?

no excuses for him from the 3rd round onward though. He couldn't get anything going.

isiah thompson said...

Johnny Miller ranking* on Tiger right now. He loves doing that.

Johnny Miller is an as.

blue said...

bitch about the weather all you want.

you miss 4 foot putts, you are a choke artist

blue said...

see: mickelson, phillip

isiah thompson said...

Bleu that's crazy talk.

isiah thompson said...

the good thing about Tiger not being in contention this week is that he'll be uber locked in for the British and PGA. Should make for some good geulf*.

isiah thompson said...

getting narced on for internets usage must suck.

blue said...

what does keith care, what are they going to do, fire you?

blue said...

if they do, you can get cheap healthcare

El Padrino said...

"At 6:42 p.m., dozens of drunken spectators at Hole 10 taunted Woods as he prepared to start his third round in the rain.

"We're on Long Island, baby, where men are men!" one fan yelled. "Put that umbrella down!"

The taunts were mixed with cheers from the majority of the crowd."


tiger has a labia

blue said...

tiger can't handle the pressure

isiah thompson said...

"At 6:42 p.m., dozens of drunken garbage men, skipping work for the day, at Hole 10 taunted Woods as he prepared to start his third round in the rain."

*fized

isiah thompson said...

Ricky Barnes needs a new hat.

El Padrino said...

man, how many times am i going to read the same story

El Padrino said...

"Staff at Goldman Sachs staff can look forward to the biggest bonus payouts in the firm's 140-year history after a spectacular first half of the year"

in you face obama

blue said...

damn jews

isiah thompson said...

Miller admitted to police that when the kids awoke to their mother's screams, he stabbed them too. He said he stabbed his son Brian the most because he loved him the most.

Then he rolled a cigarette, said another prayer, and called 911, police say. He told the dispatcher calmly, "They woke up, I was threatening my wife with a knife and my kids came out, and I killed my wife and actually both my kids." Then 911 dispatcher asked him, "Are you sure you're not dreaming Michael?" He said, "I'm positive."

isiah thompson said...

David Duval makes me laugh.

isiah thompson said...

another bogey for Barnes

tem said...

TMGT

Beth said...

"TMGT"

Oh yeah, let's talk fantasy baseball or Nascar instead, those are so much more interesting.

(S)

blue said...

barnes into the trap..he's pretty shitty today

Beth said...

Too bad Phil can't seem to get anything going or he'd be right there. Anyone close right now who can just shoot par has a great chance the way Barnes and Glover are choking.

blue said...

watching the USopen streaming at work >>>>>> work

El Padrino said...

keep the updates coming guys i can't get enough of this stuff, it's like crack

blue said...

and tiger steps back away from his ball...surprise

blue said...

barnes about to make another bogey

H said...

Beth, how loud were you screaming at that non-strike call to J.D "Nancy" Drew? Larry Wayne was heated. And rightfully so.

blue said...

shook i tell you

blue said...

phil to within 3 feet

Beth said...

"Beth, how loud were you screaming at that non-strike call to J.D "Nancy" Drew? Larry Wayne was heated. And rightfully so."

I actually wasn't watching the game and still haven't seen the footage, but from what I read it was a definite strike. Cox gets thrown out all the time but it's rare for Chipper.

blue said...

barnes swing is starting to look worst than mine

blue said...

phil with a birdie, back to within 4

El Padrino said...

today's news is especially depressing

H said...

Clearly a strike. Not even a borderline pitch. As soon as Drew hit the next pitch I knew Cox was gonna get tossed.

blue said...

i was actually watching

i don't see why he was so pissed..

yeah it was probably a strike, but dude missed his location by like a foot.

chipper was pissed because a pitch that his it's location in the same spot got him a called strike 3.

blue said...

watching guys self destruct is my favorite part of the US open

tem said...

"Oh yeah, let's talk fantasy baseball or Nascar instead, those are so much more interesting."

we could talk about how exfemtem called me at 3:30am EST on saturday.

blue said...

booty call?

El Padrino said...

must have been a great night out

El Padrino said...

"booty call?"

of course, tap that shit tem

El Padrino said...

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.

"Mom" , he asked , "Are these my brains?"

"Not yet , " she replied


funny

tem said...

no, not a booty call.

her bf broke up with her so she was down. tem was nice and did not try for booty.

tem said...

US Open scores at the top of the WWL are going apeshit.

Barnes is -5 then -3 then -5 over and over again.

Woods is T8th then T4th then T8th over and over again.

just a continual stream of people's scores flucuating wildly.

Steve said...

sexual assults on cruise ships

"The friendly encounter turned terrifying, the woman told the FBI, after her assailant blocked the doors to the room, trapping her inside, and forced her to perform oral sex."

I almost want to call bullshit on this. If a dude is forcing a woman to do something against her will, the last thing he'd want to do is put his dick in her mouth.

Steve said...

"must have been a great night out"


that dude has some shitty friends.

tem said...

that might be his defense.

tem said...

if the cruise ship gets to international waters is rape suddenly legal?

i mean who prosecutes you if you rape someone in international waters?

El Padrino said...

"her bf broke up with her so she was down. tem was nice and did not try for booty."

schucks, your swell

tem said...

Rockies have won like 20 of 21 and still are 9.5 games back?

El Padrino said...

"i mean who prosecutes you if you rape someone in international waters?"

jesus

tem said...

"schucks, your swell"

yep, i am a kind and caring person.

blue said...

the court of public opinion

tem said...

"jesus"

so like 5 hail marys and an our father and you are free to go?

blue said...

"Rockies have won like 20 of 21 and still are 9.5 games back?"


16 of 17...

the dodgers are gonna win 110 games this year, they're unbelievable

rockies are now only 1.5 games out of the WC though

tem said...

"the court of public opinion"

so like work on a house for extreme makeover, guest spot on family guy and do a celebrity reality show and you are good to go?

Steve said...

"i mean who prosecutes you if you rape someone in international waters?"

admiralty law

tem said...

"rockies are now only 1.5 games out of the WC though"

they should just shoot for the WC.

blue said...

yeah the dodgers are uncatcheable

El Padrino said...

I have to share jessica skyy with you

El Padrino said...

sfw, vidyo

blue said...

"the dodgers are uncatcheable"

its not like the dodgers are the mets

blue said...

tiger misses another par putt...

choke

tem said...

just looking at the scores it seems as though the dudes at the top left the door open for tiger, but he didn't want to walk through.

Meiz said...

"got a no seatbelt ticket this morning, went 40 feet just switching spots"

"ridick, i'm fighting it"


If you go through with this, I don't want to ever see you bitch about people wasting tax dollars.

tem said...

w
a
l
l

tem said...

damn, false wall

El Padrino said...

"If you go through with this, I don't want to ever see you bitch about people wasting tax dollars."

when i say fight it i mean i will write a story online and accept the $20 discount

tem said...

quit breaking the law.

El Padrino said...

i was perplexed, literally drove about 60 feet from one spot to another

the way they approached the car was hilarity

one guy on the passenger side, the other stood near the rear of the car talking, like dude i'm not gonna shank you, this aint the projects man

Meiz said...

"i was perplexed, literally drove about 60 feet from one spot to another"


Was it 40 feet or 60 feet?

Keith S said...

It's Caput Mundi. Everywhere is the projects

Keith S said...

i was perplexed, literally drove about 60 and a half feet from one spot to another



*fized

El Padrino said...

scrooge dies, gold too shallow

El Padrino said...

"Was it 40 feet or 60 feet?"

on second thought it was 60

tem said...

it was still against the law.

wear your seatbelt.

blue said...

mickelson just rolled in a 40ft birdie


he's on fiya

El Padrino said...

maybe iran will burn itself down and we wont have to worry about them

El Padrino said...

there's vidyo showing Tehran cops on motorcycles just slamming people in the head wioth batons

great country

Keith S said...

cmk was wearing the same hat as Ricky Barnes yesterday

El Padrino said...

deke i need a jon and kate update, interwebs are a flutter about it

blue said...

barnes drops another shot.


hahahahaha

Keith S said...

Barnes bogeys again

Keith S said...

He went to UofA. He sucks

tem said...

"cmk was wearing the same hat as Ricky Barnes yesterday"

how did he get it back from her so quick?

Keith S said...

*same kind of hat

tem said...

if phil wins the breast cancer talk will be unbearable.

blue said...

phil to within 4 foot for eagle

Keith S said...

6 foot chance for eagle for Phil

Keith S said...

It's NY. 4 1/2 feet

blue said...

mickelson tied for the lead now

Beth said...

Tiger certainly adds to the drama when he's involved but today's round is showing there's still plenty of drama without him.

Beth said...

Blue, what feed are you watching? The official usopen.com one?

blue said...

yep, watching on USopen.com

it's pulling ESPN's feed

blue said...

oh i guess its NBC's feed now...bob costas sighting

Keith S said...

Yeah it switched over to NBC at 11:30 EST

Beth said...

I'm heading to a place with tv's for lunch. Gotta keep up with what's going on.

tem said...

when phil wins he will cry and whine about breast cancer and how he won for his wife and blah blah blah breast cancer blah blah blah blah cancer blah blah blah.

Keith S said...

Breast cancer is no skin cancer

Beth said...

Wow, if Duval didn't have a triple bogey on 3 (AHIIK) he'd be one shot out of the lead and all alone in 3rd.

blue said...

breast cancer is the worst cancer...it makes chicks cut their tits off

Meiz said...

Glover is shitting down his leg.

El Padrino said...

breast cancer overload will be unbearable, isnt she beating it though or caught it early

Steve said...

so you dated a girl in HS and ya'll made a sex tape. the girl went on to become famous.

would you sell said sex tape for 100k or so 5 years later?

i'm not sure i would.

Meiz said...

"breast cancer is the worst cancer...it makes chicks cut their tits off"


But then they get implants. Win win. No more cancer, fake titties.

blue said...

no they don't, they shave their head and get all militant

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Is there another phone that I could LoV on besides a BlackBerry?"

verizon has a few LG's that are capable

El Padrino said...

brian blair whupps his kids asses

El Padrino said...

"would you sell said sex tape for 100k or so 5 years later?"

yes

Meiz said...

David Duval!

Meiz said...

New insurance rep is here. Smoking hot. She totally wants me.

Meiz said...

"no they don't, they shave their head and get all militant"


Applegate, Christina

Keith S said...

Are you sure you're not dreaming Mize?

El Padrino said...

"New insurance rep is here. Smoking hot. She totally wants me."

Pecos is back!

Steve said...

"She totally wants me."

would did she do? say "Hey"

Meiz said...

It was a joke

Keith S said...

I thought you didn't have insurance

Meiz said...

I wonder is her ass is getting warm from the hole I'm burning in it with my eyes.

Meiz said...

"I thought you didn't have insurance"


When did I say I did?

Keith S said...

By you I meant your company, as.

Meiz said...

Nice putt by the Fisher kid

Keith S said...

You suck, Glover

Meiz said...

"By you I meant your company, as."

business insurance, as.monger

Beth said...

"I wonder is her ass is getting warm from the hole I'm burning in it with my eyes."

Chances are she can feel you are staring.

ns

Meiz said...

"Chances are she can feel you are staring."


I haven't been. She's not in my line of view.

ns

Steve said...

this dude brought in leftovers. some sort of pasta. he claims his wife's parents where "right off the boat" Italians.

i don't know how "authentic" it is, but damn it's good.

El Padrino said...

what is it steve?

blue said...

glover falling apart

Meiz said...

Some broad just tried to pay for $1.06 with a $100 bill. Had to turn her away.

Spaceman Spiff said...

not staring but burning a hole, got it, got it pecos

El Padrino said...

"Some broad just tried to pay for $1.06 with a $100 bill. Had to turn her away."

that's illegal btw

Spaceman Spiff said...

"that's illegal btw"

how, a lot of places have 'no bills over 20$' no?

Keith S said...

What if they have a sign that says no bills larger than a $20?

Meiz said...

"not staring but burning a hole, got it, got it pecos"


You guys are good at picking up on jokes.

Steve said...

"what is it steve?"


beef stroganoff

Keith S said...

Jesus Phil

blue said...

phil being phil

Meiz said...

"that's illegal btw"


We reserve the right to refuse service to anybody, for any reason.

Spaceman Spiff said...

what you said about burning a hole is only a joke if you were actually staring at her as.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"
beef stroganoff"

hilarity, very italian

Keith S said...

Russian, Italian

tomayto, tomahto

Steve said...

that's what the man said.

Steve said...

really good though.

the only other kind I’ve had was Hamburger Helper.

This was pulled beef, big strange looking noodles (pastry?), and lots of mushrooms.

Meiz said...

"what you said about burning a hole is only a joke if you were actually staring at her as."


If I was staring at her ass, it would have been creepy.

El Padrino said...

beef straganoff is not italian

blue said...

that's about as unitalian as it gets

right off the italian boat

El Padrino said...

"What if they have a sign that says no bills larger than a $20?"

legal tender is legal tender

us law > store policy

El Padrino said...

"right off the italian boat"

boat must be from germany or russia

JFreak said...

I thought Rick Barnes was Texas' basketball coach.

Spaceman Spiff said...

he is, golf is a hobby

Spaceman Spiff said...

took freak 3 days to think of that joke

Meiz said...

Yes! I totally forgot New Lady is only working 1 day this week.

Spaceman Spiff said...

does it matter, she;s out to lunch all day anyways

JFreak said...

"took freak 3 days to think of that joke"

first time I've watched any of it today.

JFreak said...

Some dude just hit the bottom of the pin and bounced 20 yards away.

JFreak said...

The guy who's paire with mickelson.

Whoever that is.

Keith S said...

"legal tender is legal tender

us law > store policy"



Prove it

Keith S said...

"big strange looking noodles (pastry?)"


made me LOL

Meiz said...

"us law > store policy"


We can refuse service to anybody

Keith S said...

Glover is gonna bogey


jinx

Keith S said...

So is Phil

Spaceman Spiff said...

forgot to jinx verlander yesterday

JFreak said...

Keith, if ASU plays OSU in the rose bowl, who are you rooting for?

Keith S said...

ASU

Spaceman Spiff said...

against meiz in both leagues this week

Keith S said...

Wow, Phil stepped up

Meiz said...

"forgot to jinx verlander yesterday"


Thanks for nothing

Keith S said...

"A lady at work just got the EnV touch and loves it. It's one of those with a touch screen but also opens up to a full keyboard so you may want to check that out."

"verizon has a few LG's that are capable"



Thanks

El Padrino said...

"We can refuse service to anybody"

didnt you provide a service already

Keith S said...

terrible shot

blue said...

phil sucks

JFreak said...

Duval's playing best right now.

Keith S said...

Let's go Phil chants are loud

Keith S said...

ISBNS that the NYers are rooting for the guy that is known to choke

El Padrino said...

freak you see that video of that kid freaking out after daddy cancelled world warcraft thing?

Keith S said...

Phil is the Mess of golf

Keith S said...

block

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